Kim's Convenience (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 1 - The Trollop - full transcript

Hello, miss.

You want a bag for all your pop?

Sure, thanks.

Appa...

What? She want the bag.

One bag not going to kill
planet, Janet.

It's not that.

Oh, you is guy.

No, I just don't identify
as male or female.

- Oh.
- Um.

Just personally I always felt like



I lived somewhere in between

so I go by "they" or "them".

They're gender neutral.

Who?

I only see one person.

I know "they" is a little confusing.

Some people use Ze or Zir.

Pronouns for non cis-gendered people.

- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.

Trans people get it a lot.

Oh, you is a trans!

You don't look trans.

You can't say that either.

What? I say she look good.



It's they. They look good.

Not all trans look good.

Not all Korean look good.

It's fine.

I'm Evah.

Hello, Evah. I am Mr. Kim.

And this is Censorship Janet.

It's nice to meet you both.

Nice meeting all of you too.

Bye.

Okay, Zee you.

That's not how it works.

- Don't turn around.
- I won't.

Okay, fine, it's Raj.

Whatever.

That's cold.

He broke off his engagement for you.

That's not my problem.

I thought it was romantic.

I mean, he's my doctor, but

I mean, you're my friend.

And he broke your heart.

But he fixed my appendix.

Such mixed feelings.

Great, now he's seen us.

I'll catch you later.

Hey...

So did you take the last croissant?

I'd give it to you, but you'll
just take off all the almonds.

They're the worst part.

- Of an almond croissant?
- Mmm-hmm.

Here. Destroy it.

Sit.

Now no one will steal the chair.

I have my talents.

So, you're good?

Sure... I mean,

my dad hasn't stopped yelling,
my mom won't stop crying

and I can't get a refund
on the wedding venue.

But I don't regret it.

Don't want regrets...

Hey, I got a ton of these.

It was supposed to be part
of my stag.

A whisky tasting on Friday.

Oh, Friday.

I mean, it sounds fun,
it's just, I have something.

With Nathan.

Cool.

You gonna read each other's palms

and talk about moon cycles?

No... Just an afternoon beach thing.

Sort of an outdoor concert.

- Okay, it's a drum circle.

Well, you can give these
to Gerald or whoever.

It's...

- YIP.
- Yup.

No, it's a YIP event.

Young Indian Professionals,
as a networking group.

Cool.

I made a mistake.

I got caught up on what
my parents wanted.

You know instead of the person
I'm in love with...

Client's losing
their mind over a...

Sorry, am I interrupting?

Well, I should get going.

Thanks for the almonds.

Wow!

It's beautiful! I love it.

It's my dream dress.

Like dressmaker take my dream

and turn into dress.

Next time you have dream like that,

tell it to me, so I can start saving.

Don't spoil runway show.

Where is it from?

Fancy shop in west end, Galette's.

I heard it's amazing.

But kind of intimidating.

Hi, Claire, Mrs. Lee.

Oh, hi, Janet.

We just admiring your
Umma's beautiful dress.

Wow, what's the occasion?

It's for Raj Mehta wedding.

If you lucky, you can
borrow sometime.

Maybe I can borrow

and sell on eBay.

Janet, there is still eBay?

What you think?

I should get to work.

Well, I think it looks very nice.

Even if you paid too much.

I never said too much.

I did.

So many times.

Hey, Jungry Jungry Hippo.

Opinions on this?

Not a big Katy Perry fan.

Oh, sorry.

Um, this.

Top five burger joints in TO.

A chance for you to redeem
your swamp burger wrap.

Sure, but you're not gonna find the

best burger at any of these places.

Oh, you think you know better than

BurgerBud92?

Definitely.

Place on Queen,
great old-school burgers.

You should try it sometime.

Well, I'm free all week.

Alejandro not into burgers?

I'm not asking Alejandro.
I'm asking you.

So what do you say?

Manana?

Okay...

- that's tomorrow, right?
- Yeah.

That because of me or you?

Umma, everything okay?

You think I like your clothes?

It's you.

But I still say compliment.

- When?
- Other day.

I say, "Oh, your pants fit."

Yeah, such a nice compliment, Janet.

But you just walk past

because nothing good enough
for Janet.

Umma, I love the dress.
It's just... I think

Raj may have called off the wedding.

What?

I don't think it's happening.

Hallelujah.

Never want to go.

No, no, have to confirm first.

Why? Janet have inside scoop. Ugh.

This such good news.

Why Raj do this?

Because Raj is a train wreck.

Janet almost buy first-class ticket.

On Raj train.

That's gonna be wreck.

I get it.

Whoa.

It's like I stepped back in time.

To a condemned restaurant.

Uh, you'll eat your words.

That might be all I eat.

A burger, pop and fry, please.

One burger-pop-fry.

I'll also have two burger-pop-fries.

Three burger-pop-fry.

What?

Three burger-pop-fry.

But two burger-pop-fry are together.

Yeah, three burger-pop-fry. One

burger-pop-fry then
two burger-pop-fry.

So, six burger-pop-fry?

I say, one burger-pop-fry

then two burger-pop-fry

for total three burger-pop-fry.

Why you not using intercom?

Use intercom. Never open my window.

I still can't believe
Raj cancel wedding.

Ah... Maybe for best.

If they smart,
they can get some money back.

Still is so sad.

And Raj bring shame on whole family.

Yah, very embarrass.

Oh, oh, FY information.

We get such big hydro bill.

Can you think of anything expensive

we don't need now
that wedding is cancel?

You want me to return dress.

What...

I not even think of that.

But if you say so...

Yobo, I need new dress

for special occasion.

Now there is no occasion.

There will be.

Janet's wedding, Jung's wedding.

Jung's second wedding.

It's too expensive, Yobo.

Have to bring dress back to fancy...

Oh, sorry...

Have to call Mrs. Mehta.
She just text me

cry face, I think she is crying.

Ugh, I'm gonna try and stay
away from the dudes at YIP.

But they're all super hot, rich,

jacked bros who want me.

Well, lucky for me,
you like guys for their minds.

Uh-huh.

What do you think of this purse?

Not my style.
Besides, this guy's my purse.

No, for me.

I thought you were going
to the drum circle.

Yeah.

It's just...

I feel kind of bad for Raj.

I don't even think anyone
from his stag is going.

So, Nathan went to the
drum circle on his own.

I get that.

Couples shouldn't get
glued to each other.

Especially on a night like tonight.

What?

Is this dress too short?

- Maybe a little.
- Perfect, let's go.

Amazing drum circle.

I mean, some guy showed up
with a trumpet,

but mostly really good.

It's over?

Yeah, just till sunset.

Wow, you look great.

You must be feeling better.

So much better.

You were sick?

Was... but...

that concoction you gave me
must have kicked in.

I told you, nutritional yeast
and cumin.

Wow, that is a great dress.

You should join us.

It's a whiskey tasting. Super fun.

Yeah, you should.

Oh, but...

Pretty sure it's sold out.

I still have that extra ticket.

- Awesome.
- Let's do it.

Oh, and then,
there's this stupid dress code.

Yeah, I'm pretty sweaty.

Maybe I'll just head home.

Makes sense. I'll call you tomorrow?

No, I mean, I'll go home,
shower and meet you guys there.

Uh, of course.

Amazing!

So the cook goes, "What?"

- We've all been there.
- And the guy at the cash says,

"Three burger-pop-fry.

One burger-pop-fry
then two burger-pop-fry."

So the cook is like...

"So, six burger-pop-fry?"

Oh, my God,
this is the funniest part.

So then the guy goes over
to this little kitchen panel,

slides it open and yells.

"I say one burger-pop-fry

then two burger-pop-fry for total

three burger-pop-fry."

Yeah...

Oh, my God, and then
the fry cook says...

Ah, you really can't do the accent.

Oh, I think I can.

So the fry cook says...

Anyway, you get it.

- Let's clean these cars.
- Great idea.

Okay...

So wait, did everyone go
for burgers without me?

Okay, very attractive.

Slightly intimidating.

They all look so golden and tasty.

I mean the scotches.

Have you seen Raj yet?

Who knows if he's even here?

Oh, he is. I saw him in the bathroom.

Okay, Gerald.
Stop obsessing over Raj.

Let it go.

And which way is the bathroom?

Oh, my God.

There's Fahra Anand.

Her brother's a super hot paramedic.

Fahra! Chelsea Chettiar.

We met at my parents TIFF party...

BRB, babe.

BRB? There's no way
she's going to BRB.

Um, sorry, BRB.

Hey! Gerald said you were here.

Drum circle ended early.

Well, I'm glad you could make it.

Yeah, Gerald and Chelsea
were all like,

"You gotta come!"
and whiskey's good, so...

So, how about some of that
whiskey I'm supposed to taste?

I have enough drink tickets
for 20 guys. Let's do it.

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm. You can really taste the peat.

Which is dirt, right?

Dirt from a marsh, yeah.

And they burn it,

so you're enjoying $40
burnt marsh dirt.

Hey, so the other day

you were saying something
interesting at the coffee shop.

What was it again?

Hey! there you are.

Hey!

Wow, you look amazing.

Thank you.

Um, Nathan, you remember Raj.

Right. Wow, what are the odds?

I know. It must have seemed
so inappropriate.

It was just a funny story.
Not because of the accent.

- Exactly.
- I mean, you were doing it and

everybody was laughing and
I just got caught up in the...

For sure. It's just best
if only certain people tell it.

I feel like an idiot.

Still, fun lunch.

Yes. I'll def be going back to...

You can say it without the accent.

But I'm worried I won't.

This is getting out of hand.

I know. I brought it on myself.

If you come to a party with
someone, you stick with them.

But technically Nathan and I
didn't come together.

I was talking about Chelsea.

- Oh.
- She says that guy's her cousin.

But they seem pretty affectionate.

Just because it's a whiskey tasting

doesn't give you permission
to go from guy to guy...

- to girl to guy.
- Agreed.

And Nathan's super sweet.

Then he shows up wearing
the hell out of that suit.

And I'm more than a purse.

I'm a purse-son,

with feelings and apparently,
an exquisite palate.

You're right. I can't just
lead him on. It's not fair.

Yes.

Whoa. Hey, it's supposed
to be savoured.

Hey. You okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

I just need to tell someone
something.

- You wanna get out of here?
- Fine.

I can leave. I get you're with Nathan

and I'm out of drink tickets.

I mean you and me.

You know I want to.

Great. Me does too.

But you've had too much to drink.

Nuh-uh.

Trick glass.

Hey, look,

I've screwed this up before
and I don't want to do it again.

I want to do this the right way,

for the right reasons.

Yo, holla at your boy Raj Mehta

who's tying the knot.

Okay, he's really gotta stop
saying that.

Hello. I'm Mr. Kim.

I have this dress. For wedding.

Oh, not for me. I wear suit.

My wife wear, but wedding is cancel.

Like I didn't see this coming.

What you looking?

Deodorant, wine stains,
discolouration...

Wedding was cancel. I tell to you.

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, we don't have anything
that'll fit over those hips.

I told your wife that this dress
was out of her price range.

She kept it clean, which is
more than I expected.

I can give you half the value
of the dress back.

Oh, you think I want money back?

- Yes.
- No.

I just bring dress to match with...

This. Yeah.

Look good together, huh?

Fine. That'll be $200.

Only 200?

You still want it,
or should we put that back too?

Wrap it up.

We don't really wrap up purses.

For me, you do.

Wrap it up.

Can you imagine having to call

300 guests to explain
that a wedding is off?

I can because I did it.

Well, Mrs. Mehta did.

But you get the point.

I know. So much money wasted.

- Exactly.
- Almost $500 just for dress.

I asked Raj, point blank.

Why didn't he just go through with it

if only for us?

- What he say?
- He said he didn't love Divya.

I said, fine,
but answer the question.

Second generation care
only about them self.

I think there's another woman,

some trollop!

Probably some nurse he works with.

Oh maybe doctor!

Oh, Mrs. Kim.

- I mean woman doctor.
- I know.

Oh!

Maybe that dreadful Moniqu-a Ashbourn

from their high school.

She always had eyes for Raj.

Oh, hey.

Um, someone just threw up outside.

Gonna grab some mouthwash.

Janet know about stuff like that.

Know what?

Mr. Mehta say Raj cancel wedding

because of other girl.

Yeah, no clue.

So maybe you can ask around.

Least we can do for our friend.

Umma...

- Naya.
- Did you say Naya?

I know three.

I only know one Naya.

Remember, Umma?

Korean Naya?

Naya's not Korean name.

Naya mean...

Oh.

I'll set Mrs. Mehta on the trail.

That woman is like a shark

sniffing the blood of a wounded seal.

Though the irony is, she can't swim.

Oh.

That is everything.

And thanks again for grabbing
my sunnies from the boot.

Yeah, no problem. Have a good one.

Cheers, mate.

Cheers, mate.

I left my sunnies in the boot.

You know what else
I keep in the boot?

Crocs and dingos.

What's going on?

Oh,
just a customer from Down Under.

You know...
Australia.

What? That was pretty good.

Yeah...

Let's hear yours then.

Nope, not going there.

Come on, it's Australian.
No one's gonna get offended.

I'm not taking my chances.

Hey, Kimch, you just missed an Aussie

from Down Under.

Oh, crikey!
Put another shrimp on the barbie!

Okay, neither of you
should be doing that accent.

- Why?
- She's just worried

we'll offend the Kiwis.

No. And Kiwis are from New Zealand.

Whatever. It's white people accents.

They're all fair game.

- He wasn't white.
- You said he was Australian.

- He was.
- Wow.

Not the same thing.

Your mistake was worse.

I know, definitely, but

now that I think about it,
why is it okay for

you guys to do Chinese accents?

'Cause, uh, we're Asian.

Right...

Stacie can explain it
better because she's...

- here.
- Explain what?

Why it's okay for Kimch and me
to do a Chinese accent.

Because you're Chinese.

- They're Korean.
- Oh.

Well, I think they could probably do

- all those accents.
- All what accents?

It's like Jamaicans. Right?

- I'm not Jamaican.
- And I knew that. So...

maybe it's best if we all
just stick with accents

from our own culture.

Sorry. I think I left
my phone in the dunny. Uh...

You mind if I have a looksee?

No worries, mate!

Go walk about.

Starting now.

Yobo, we need to talk about dress.

It's okay.

I change mind.

You don't have to return.

You deserve fancy dress.

It's only money.

You try to return,
but lady is mean to you.

No.

I mean to her.

I see her make two lady cry

and one is work at store.

I cry little bit.

Purse is so expensive.

What purse?

This one.

How I can fit anything in that?

Still, cheaper than hat.

What hat?

Oh!

Make you is like

Ms. Colby from Dynasty.

Oh.

So, Raj really

cancel wedding for Janet?

That's what she tell me.

Kind of romantic.

Remind me of some
who fight for me once.

Who?

- Oh.
- Mmm.

Oh?

That not Raj!

No.

Oh, thank you.

Sorry for taking off.

- I was going to text you...
- But I had your phone.

What they saying?

I can't hear
if you keep talking.

You can't hear
because we're in fridge.

Shh!

Sorry, I was

kind of a jerk last night

and I feel terrible about it.

But I am definitely
going to make it up to you.

Oh.

Oh.

With everything
that has happened, it might

be good to figure things out.

Don't get me wrong.

I really like hanging out, I just

don't want to get in the way if
there is something else going on.

- There isn't.
- Okay. Still.

Okay. Sure.

So... I'll see you around.

Idiot.

Oh, she coming!

Be cool, be cool!

I already cool. We in fridge!

Shh!

What are you guys doing?

Just working.

You should try sometime, Janet.

Yeah, Janet.