Kim's Convenience (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Blabber Talker - full transcript

Appa and Umma search for an excuse to avoid vacationing with the Lees. Janet scores a lucrative -- but awkward -- photography gig.

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Can I get this, Paula?

You need to say "please"
to you babysitter.

I'm not his babysitter. I'm his mom.

No.

But, ah, he call you Paula.

- That's my name.
- Ah, okay.

- Okay. See you.
- Thank you.

[WOMAN] Let's go.

[SCOFFS] Another child ruined.

- Yeah. Can you believe?
- [DOOR CLOSES]

It's about respect. Look at us,



you're one of my oldest friends.

I would never dream of calling
you anything but Mr. Kim.

Me, too, Mr. Mehta. See? Respect.

Exactly.

"Yobo" sounds informal. [CHUCKLES]

Yobo is not my name.

But I-I've heard Mrs. Kim
holler it from the rafters.

No. Yobo, it's, uh,
kind of my cute love nickname.

Only, ah, Mrs. Kim call me that.

Of course. I remember! Appa.

No. Appa mean "daddy."

You call me Mr. Kim out of respect,

or because you forget my name?

God, this tea is incredible.



I must...

My name is Sang-Il,
my very good friend.

I'm so sorry, Sang-Il.

That's okay, uh...

Maybe we stick with, ah, Mr. Kim
and Mr. Mehta. Out of respect.

You didn't even try.

[SLURPS NOISILY]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPA] Ha-ha!

Mr. Chin just accept me
as a friend on Facebook.

- My first one.
- Uh-huh.

Oh. I think I make a mistake.

Lots of Mr. Chin accept me.

Yeah, how I stop this?

That's nice.

Ai, what you doing? Just relax.

How can I relax when we have a guest?

Mrs. Ada not guest. She a cleaner.

[UMMA] You sure you don't
need any help in there?

No, thank you.

If she make you so uncomfortable,

why you tell Mrs. Lee
Mrs. Ada can clean for us, too?

So Mrs. Ada can have a job.

How can I know having cleaner
is so much work?

Stop. Sit.

We are doing good thing
for Ada family.

[MRS. ADA APPROACHES]

- [GASPS] Oh.
- [APPA STARTS, SIGHS]

And where would you like these?

Oh. That's garbage.

Ai, ai! Not garbage.

What? It's a beach vacation.

No one going on a beach vacation.

Unless somebody doing
vacation... sneak attack.

[GASPS] Yobo!

I find a very good deal
on resort in Cuba.

Fancy. Almost a two-star!

Maybe you'll meet Brad Pitt?

And all alcohol include,
except liquor and wine.

Oh! It's too much.

Everyone deserves to spoil themselves.

That's right, hmm?

Well, I better get back
to that toilet.

So Umma was surprised. Did she cry?

When she see they have a waffle bar

and a mint on pillow,

- she do full ugly cry, uh?
- [CHUCKLES]

Good morning, Janet. Mr. Kim.

[JANET] Hi, Mr. Mehta.

Ah. What's this?

Oh, my business cards.
Just got 'em made.

- What do you think?
- Hmm.

What's that font? MarkerFelt?

I'm more of a ChalkDuster man, myself.

I tell her, first, you get a business,

- and then you get card.
- [MR. MEHTA] I disagree.

Janet must quickly
build her online presence

before her profession
becomes obsolete.

- Yeah. I join Facebook.
- Hmm.

Which reminds me,
you can just "like" my photos.

- You don't have to write "This
you Appa" every time. - [SIGHS]

You know, my son is getting married.

Yeah. I remember hearing
something about that.

Maybe. Or not. So much going on.

How would you like
to take the engagement photos?

I don't think
you want that Janet, huh?

She take, ah, sad photo
of a dirty sewer grate

and sneaker hanging from tree.

It's okay, Appa. Seriously.

I know what's going on.

You two are trying
to drive up the price.

Well, it worked.
Three hundred dollars.

I don't think, ah, Janet...

Four hundred and not a penny more.

- Deal.
- Oh.

I would have gone to 1,000. [CHUCKLES]

Seriously, where are all the
people that wash these?

We wash them. After we use them.

Right, right, right.

Hey. Really bad news, guys.

So, I don't want anyone
to get too, you know,

but Amanda Brookfield is coming.

Handy's regional manager.

Is this because I broke the printer?

And if this is about the mugs,
I totally wash them.

[SNORTS, LAUGHS]
Oh, my God, your faces.

I'm just yankin' your chain.
It's just a check in.

Amanda wants to see the new
branch and her best bud, Sharon.

- Who's Sharon?
- I'm Sharon.

Amanda called me it once and it
kind of stuck. Oh, she's the best.

We like the same authors,
have the same number of siblings

and both say the word "sammich."

Copy that.

I mean, sure,
she's the regional manager,

but just don't be all like...

But just be.

Absolutely. One cream, two sugar?

Ah! Ah-mah-zing. Pew, pew.

Cuba look so beautiful.

I'm going to try so many new thing,

pickleball on beach, mojito,
maybe even Cuban cigar.

You not smoke cigar.

Toronto Umma don't smoke cigar,

but Cuba Umma is island-time style.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Hope I not make you
look too bad, Mr. Lee.

Ah, not every husband can make their
wife dream come true. [CHUCKLES]

Nope.

I'm so jealous.
We never go anywhere exciting.

You deserve vacation, too.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Treat yourself. Not too expensive.

Yobo!

You want to go to Cuba with them?

- No, I just meant, uh...
- Yes. Yes!

[GASPS, EXCLAIMS]

[ALL LAUGHING]

- [GASPS] Shh, shh.
- Oh.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Just something about Shannon.

Shut up, Stacie! God!

No, I can totally joke
about the boss now.

I'm one of you guys, the back gang.

Okay. Omar does a pretty great
impression of Shannon.

I gotta see this.

Alright. "Hey, Jungster. Can
you set aside two Van Meisters

for the old conference-ino this weekend.
We are so busy."

[LAUGHTER]

[JUNG] That's pretty good,
that's pretty good!

You gotta get the hands in there,
though, like, ah, [CLEARS THROAT]

"Hey, Stace of base!
Listen, we are totes backed up

from that whole sitchers from earlier.

But if you could just, like, grab me

a coffee, that would be a-mah-zing."

- [LAUGHTER]
- Nailed it. Whatever your name is.

- Yeah. It was okay.
- Okay. Check this one out.

[CLEARS THROAT] I'm Peter.

I like setting up digital portals
for secure document sharing.

[LAUGHS]

Who's Peter?

It's this guy I worked with
at my old job.

Trust me. It's bang on.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[SIGHS]

Hey.

Hey.

Just wondering if we could talk
about the engagement photos.

Sure. I'd be happy to discuss
things with... clients.

Please, step into my office.

You know, I swear I had no idea

my dad was going
to ask you to do this.

Okay.

If you want, I can just tell him
you're sick, or double-booked.

Why? This is just another gig.

Come on, Janet. You're telling
me this won't be a little weird?

Maybe for you. But once I
sling the old camera on,

I check my emotions at the door.

Uh, not that I have
any emotions about this.

But, if I did, they'd be checked.

At the door. Which they aren't.
Because they don't exist.

- Okay.
- Mm.

- If you're sure.
- Mmm-hmm.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- I'll see you at the shoot.

- Hi.
- [RAJ] Hey.

- Are you kidding me?
- It's not what you think.

What do we think? What's going on?

I'm new here. Catch me up!

That guy, Raj, broke Janet's heart.

Relax! He was here for a job.

I'm taking his photo
with Divya. Pre-wedding.

You're taking his engagement photos?

Well, if you want
to put a label on it.

[SIGHS] This is worse than I thought.

I get it. We've all got our "Raj."

A guy you know there's no future with,

but you just can't resist
his sad, puppy dog face.

That's not me and Raj.

[STAMMERS] Yeah, who is that?

Oh, nobody babe. [CHUCKLES]

This is work. That's it. Okay?

Thanks.

Okay, you know,
because it sounded like

you were talking
about someone specific.

[GIGGLES] Boop.

Might be okay.
Mrs. Lee is good company,

and, uh, Mr. Lee is very quiet.

Don't even know he's there.

He won't be there,
because he's not coming.

Tell them resort doesn't allow
boring robot man.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, this is our vacation, hmm?

Omelette station,
seven-person hot tub!

Fresh new towel every day.

Just throw on bathroom floor
and they pick up.

[MRS. ADA] Sounds wonderful.

Yeah, but so wasteful,

so we use same towel whole trip
and make our own omelette.

- You find you sweater?
- Yes. Thank you very much.

- Good night.
- Good night.

I not make my own omelette.

The Civic's ready. Oh!
And I washed the mugs.

Never know when a regional
manager might stop by.

So I hear you do a pretty
funny impression of me.

Oh! It... That's all done
out of affection.

Oh, I know. I love impressions.

Come on, I really
want to see it. Please?

Okay. Uh...

"Hey, cats. It's the Shansters.
Pew, pew, pew. A-mah-zing."

[LAUGHS] That's funny.

I see where you were going
with the hand things.

It makes me want to do you right now.

- What?
- I do an impression of you. Wanna see?

Well, I don't really have a thing,

so I don't know if there's much to do.

Oh, yeah, you definitely
don't have a thing.

"Hey, Kimch.
Just hittin' the gym. Hard.

Copy that. Right, right, right.

Body spray. Go sports! Brutal!"

[KIMCHEE LAUGHS] Oh, man!
She's got you good.

Oh. Hi.

I heard you don't want
to vacation with us.

What? No.

Ah, we just have, uh...

Janet, huh? If we not here,
she throw big party.

Turn out she have lots of friend.

Can you believe? [CHUCKLES]

Oh. Nothing to do with
"Mr. Boring Robot Man"?

No. I like Mr. Lee.

- [GASPS]
- I mean, uh, who?

We is very fun people.

Even more fun on vacation.

Yeah, I know. I just, uh...

We thought... And Janet...

Next time you have something
to say, say it to our face.

- Mrs. Lee?
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

- What happen?
- Why you tell Mrs. Lee

I don't want vacation with Mr. Lee?

I never say that.

I tell her we cancel trip because
store is slow and we can't afford.

Then how she know I call
Mr. Lee boring robot man?

- [APPA STARTS]
- I sorted through your expired medicine.

Do you want me to throw them out?
Or can anyone take them?

That's probably enough, right?

Don't be silly, Raj.

Janet needs more shots
than this, right?

Yup. I could do this all day, every day.
I love love.

Aww. So, are you seeing anyone?

Not one guy. More like lots of guys.

Every day is a new adventure.

- Really?
- [JANET] Totally.

I mean, it's great
you two are lockin' it down.

But I'm having too much fun
to commit to one person.

Forevah.

Okay. I think we're done.

Wait, no, guys!
We forgot the bling pic.

Can't we skip that one,
Div? It's cheesy.

It's romantic.

Yeah. Very Pinterest.
You should go for it.

Okay. Go this way. Like this, right?

Move a little so we can see Raj.

Like this?

No, that's too much.

Okay. You just want
to stand like this...

Oh, my gosh, that's perfect!
Thank you, Janet.

[JANET] Yeah.

It wasn't even anything like me.

Like, I'm the only person
that ever leans against things?

Imitation's a form
of flattery, all right?

When we do an impression of you,

- it's like we're giving you a big hug.
- Wait.

- You do them, too?
- Hmm?

Well, go ahead. Let's see it. Show me.

Okay. This one's a classic.

- What?
- '90s heartthrob poses.

Right, right, right. We're doing Jung?

No, 'cause you guys don't look
or sound anything like me.

- Copy that - Oh, very funny.

Look, you're a good guy.

Having a sense of humour about it
shows you're an even better guy.

- Be that guy.
- [SIGHS] Right, right, right.

Now you're doing you.
It's pretty good actually.

I still can't believe Mrs. Ada
gossip behind our back.

This is why I'll never hire a maid.

The scandal is unavoidable.

Well, at least now
we can go on a perfect vacation

without "dead plant," Mr. Lee.

Oh! Mr. Lee is the worst.

Always comes in the restaurant.

No matter where he is in his meal,
he always needs a toothpick.

- [APPA] Hmm.
- It's revolting.

Now we have to be careful around Mrs.
Ada "blabber talker."

We don't know for sure it's her.

But we could know.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Next time she is around,
we talk about something,

and if it go back to Mrs. Lee, then

we know Mrs. Ada is a blabber talker.

That is so sneaky.

I love you so much right now.

[MR. CHIN] Save it for Cuba, you two.

By the way, Mrs. Kim,

you still haven't accepted
my Facebook friend request.

I know.

[JANET] We're almost done.

Want to take a picture of me
running away?

Mm. If that's what you want.

I miss you.

I think your fiancee misses you.

[DIVYA] Hey, hey, guys,
these fish don't bite, do they?

Becau... Oh! Yup.
They're biting me. [LAUGHS]

I'll be right there.

Seriously. I can't stop
thinking about you.

Well, you were able to stop
thinking about me long enough

to get engaged to Divya.

Come on! You, of all people, know the

pressure to make our parents happy.

- Yeah. But...
- Back there, when I was posing with you,

that's the only part
of this day that's felt right.

Didn't you feel it, too?

[DIVYA] Guys, I'm getting cold feet.

What?

Yeah. This water is freezing.

Oh, is that seaweed? Oh, nope.
Yep, it's biting me, too.

[SIGHS] I feel like
we've been doing this for hours.

We have. And your
hair's paying for it.

[SIGHS]

Ah! Nice try.

[SHANNON] Here's the garage.

We clean the cars back here.
But you probably knew that.

- And this is our back manager, Terence.
- Hi.

And our former assistant manager,

now valued back gang member, Jung.

Hi. It's a pleasure.

It's nice to meet you both.
I've heard a lot about you.

Oh. All good things, I hope.

[CHUCKLES] Nothing but.

And we're happy to have you
back in the Handy team.

And I'm glad that you guys brought
Amanda up to speed on everything.

It's kind of our job.

Such a fun group here. Great morale.

Yeah, no doubt.
But, uh, goes both ways.

Right. Right...

Oh, here we go.

Hi, I'm Amanda! This is my work BFF
Sharon, whose real name is Shannon.

Want a sammich?

That's about all I can remember.

Oh! And you walk like this.

Good morale! Good morale!

[JUNG CHUCKLES]

I don't get it.

- Yeah, you do.
- No, I don't.

Let's go back to my office.

Hey, fun prank, guys. [CHUCKLES]

[AMANDA] So, it's Shannon?

[SHANNON] Sometimes.
It's not a hard-and-fast rule.

- Wow.
- What?

What's that you say, Yobo?
You feeling sick?

Yeah. I think we may have
to cancel Cuba trip.

- [VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING]
- [APPA EXCLAIMS]

Okay, I handle.

It's so sad.

- [TURNS OFF VACUUM CLEANER]
- What?

Uh, I just say, it's so sad about Mrs.
Kim and her heart condition.

Oh, no.

[MOANING AWKWARDLY]

That's terrible.

So, anyway, we have to cancel big trip

because of, uh, her very
serious heart condition.

I am so sorry to hear that.

Good. Okay. See you.

[VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING]

Now, that's gorgeous.

Yeah. The light was amazing.

Oh, he was right about this photo.
It's cheesy.

I mean the pose, not the picture.

I don't know. It's sort of sweet.

Maybe I'm overwhelmed, but do you
think that we're rushing into this?

Um...

Like, when I think about the big
picture, what's it going to look like?

Well, I guess, maybe,
if you are having doubts then...

Did Raj say anything to you
about what he wants?

I think you guys should figure
out what you want together.

Yeah. The one on the log.

I mean, I look better in this
one, but Raj looks great here.

Oh. You're talking
about the actual picture.

Yeah. We don't just want digitals.

We want to blow one up
for our living room.

Right. That sounds... nice.

[SQUEALS] I'm so excited!

Thank you, Janet. You are so talented.

Hey, guys. Listen,
I'm really sorry about...

Everything's fine.
Amanda was pretty cool about it,

and, on the plus side, at least
she's calling me Shannon now.

Well, that's good.

And, listen, I know I
overreacted, but I'm over it now.

I mean it. I can handle it.

Okay, who's this?

"I just got promoted to assistant
manager and I'm insecure about my job,

so I take it out on Terence."

Not cool, man.

Lighten up, man. It's just fun.

Okay, one more.

"Oh, hey! I'm Shannon.
I'm super-friendly

and chatty, and the best boss ever."

Aww, that's sweet.

"Kitty-cat, kitty-cat, I'm dating
Alejandro, but, ooh, is that Jung?

Flirt, flirt, flirt." [CHUCKLES]

Okay, we're shutting this down.

[MRS. LEE] I heard
about your heart condition.

I'm so sorry. I had no idea! Here.

My umma's special root tea.
It taste terrible, but it work.

[SOBS SOFTLY]

Oh, oh. Mrs. Lee. I...

Mrs. Kim is healthy, 100%.

Such a positive spirit.

No, no. I was never sick.

- But I hear...
- It's a fake story that we tell Mrs. Ada.

Why you do that to such nice person?

Ah, she's not a nice person.

She take a private conversation
and blabber talking to you.

I didn't hear from Mrs. Ada.
I hear from Mrs. Ko.

But who tell Mrs. Ko?
Blabber-talking Ada.

Oh, no, I do.

I need excuse to get out
of brunch with Mrs. Ko.

But still, she hurt
you feeling by saying

we think you husband
is a boring robot man.

I didn't hear that from Mrs. Ada.

You post on Facebook.

- What?
- [MRS. LEE] There.

Oh. That's a private message
to Mr. Chin!

It's on you wall.

Same as you post about telling Mrs.
Kim you helping Mr. Chin,

when really you go golfing.

What?

Uh, point is everybody
stretch truth, huh?

So, everybody should forgive.

[APPA] Yeah.

Would you and Mr. Lee
like to join us in Cuba?

Thank you. But we book
our own vacation.

Mr. Lee always want to see Sarnia,
Ontario's Chemical Valley.

[MRS. ADA] Sounds wonderful.

[APPA CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Hello.

Oh. I thought you were
going to be in Cuba.

But they oversell flight.

- So we get bump.
- Mm.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[APPA] Mm. Why?

They give us a voucher for anything
we want at the airport restaurant.

[UMMA] So, then we wait
for next flight,

but again they oversell.

So, this time,
we volunteer to get bump.

But then they cancel,
and they give us cash money

and half-price discount
at Holiday Inn near airport.

Sounds wonderful.

Oh, by the way,
I can't work next week.

- Everything okay?
- Yes.

The Lee's are taking us
to Sarnia. So generous.

We are going on a ice cream
and chip-truck tour.

Oh. I like a chip truck.

I like ice-cream. Sound wonderful.

And so does your trip, hmm?
To the airport. [CHUCKLES]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]