Kim's Convenience (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Gay Discount - full transcript

- Hello, Mr. Kim.
- Kevin, how I can help you?

- This is my friend, Roger.
- Hello, Roger.

- Nice to meet you.
- Mmm.

We're performing for Pride Week,

and we would love to put
our poster up in your window.

You group is call, "Gay Town Boys?"

Yes, it is, and, yes, we are.

It's, uh, messy poster. Who make?

Get refund.

- Or is it because we're gay?
- No, of course, it isn't.

It's okay. Don't mind him.



No. I have no problem with the gay,

but I have problem with parade.

Traffic, garbage, noise.

If you is the gay,

why can't you be quiet,
respectful gay, huh?

Like Anderson Cooper, you know?

Neil Patrick Harris, you know?

They is all the gay,

but they don't yelling
to me they is the gay.

It's not about being loud, Mr. Kim...

Kevin, some people don't like Korean,

but we don't make big
parade yelling at people,

"We is Korean, we is Korean!"

- Mr. Kim, are you homophobic?
- Roger.



- What word you using?
- Homophobic, Mr. Kim.

This is discrimination
against "the homos."

And it's a hate crime,
and I'm gonna report it.

- What?
- Roger...

- What you report?
- Hey! Look, look, look.

I'm not homo...

- Homopebek.
- Uh-huh.

If I am homo...

Homopeebeek, then why I...

Why do I give a gay discount, hmm?

- Sorry?
- Yeah.

If I am homo, homopobok,

then why I having the gay discount?

Fifteen percent gay discount
only for the Gay Pride Week.

So, how much would this be?

Regular, $2, but for you,

with gay discount, $1.70.

And how do you know if someone is gay?

I can tell.

- You have gaydar, Mr. Kim?
- Yeah.

I have gaydar, 100% guarantee.

Ah. Well, we'll be
sure to spread the word.

And the poster?

You can do better.

Appa, I have a shoot
for school this weekend.

I was wondering if I can borrow the van.

What happened to, "Good morning, Appa,"

"Umma, you look pretty today."

- Thank you, Appa.
- That's from Janet.

Oh. Thank you, Janet.

But I say.

You do look pretty Umma,
and can I have the van?

- No.
- No, but Appa,

- I only need it for one...
- Stop.

One second.

And he's not coming back.

- Janet.
- What?

You coming church Sunday?

You know, church is not
only for worship the Jesus.

Lots of side benefit too.

You can make a lot of friends at church.

Friend who is girl.
Friend who is not girl.

Umma, I'm not going to
church to hook up with guys.

Not hook up, hook around.

Look, new church directory.

So many boys to choose from.

Oh.

Mr. Soon's nephew, Georgie.

He is captain of church Frisbee team.

Umma, I don't need your
help finding a boyfriend.

Yeah. Then where is you cool
Christian Korean boyfriend?

Okay, first of all,
there's no such thing

as a "Cool Christian Korean Boy."

- They don't exist.
- What you talking?

If they're cool and
Christian, they're not Korean.

And if they're cool and Korean,

they're not Christian.
And if they're cool,

Christian and Korean, they're girls.

Jung is cool, Christian,
and Korean. Is he girl?

So, you're suggesting I date my brother?

No.

Look, Janet, when I was your age,

I go to church, find the Jesus,

find cool, Christian Korean
boy and we hook around.

Umma, can you please
don't say "hook around."

It doesn't sound so good.

If I is not hook around with you Appa,

- you is not be born.
- Bye, Umma.

I was told you were supporting gay pride

and you had a 50% discount
or something like that?

Is that true or not?

What?

You have a 50% discount
or something like that?

- Is that true?
- Fifteen percent.

And keep talking to end of sentence.

My bad. Sorry.

Fifteen percent discount, true?

Yeah, only for the gay.

$26.50. You want bag?

Is that with the discount?

No, you want bag?

Uh, yes, I want the bag

but why not I get the gay discount?

It's only for the gay.

You is not the gay.

Hello.

I am not the gay? I am so the gay.

People tell me I am too gay sometimes.

You is only pretend.

Are you for real?

One hundred percent guarantee not gay.

No discount.

This is not over.

This is not even the
start of it being not over.

Okay. See you.

Hi.

Pick it up.

You pick it up.

How do you know it's dead?

Buddy.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What are you guys doing?

Your brother's about to clean a car.

You guys gettin' lunch or something?

- I don't know, are we?
- Mmm.

My treat as long as you use

your employee family discount thingy

to get me a car.

What's wrong with Appa's van?

More like, "What's wrong with Appa?"

I'm 20 and he still won't
let me drive the van.

I drove the van when I was 13.

You stole the van when you were 13.

No, we stole the van when he was 13.

Technically, if your family
owns it, it's not stealing.

So, can you get me a rental?

Depends. Where you
gonna wine and dine me?

Come on, you owe me.

For what?

I'm seriously over-parented
because you're not around.

Hey, I still get more than
my fair share from Umma.

Yeah, but when's the last
time you talked to Appa?

When's the last time he talked to me?

So you're never going
to talk to him again?

It's workin' so far.

Hey, I just got a strange call...

Hi.

Who's this?

This is my sister Janet.

She's taking me to lunch.

Sister. Hi, Janet. I'm
Shannon, Jung's manager.

And, I like to think, friend.

And as a friend, I should
tell you the manager,

would say it's employees only back here.

I get it. Sorry.

I know it must be hard for two people

who grew up in the inner city
and are rebellious by nature,

but rules are rules. Understood?

- Understood.
- Good.

Understood.

"Understood in the hood."

Okay, really nice to meet you.

Oh, and the strange call.

A woman asked, if we've
seen her pet ferret.

Yeah, I'm gonna say no.

Okay.

And look what the cat drag in.

Oh, Mr. Chin.

How's it going?

Uh, can't complain.

How's your business?

Which one?

Kidding aside, Mr. Kim,

business has never been better.

Gay Pride week, very busy.

Yeah, me too.

Gays are good for business. Hmm.

Ah. Remember when we start?

No gay in sight.

Where they all come from?

Immigration? Refugee?

It's more popular now.

Everybody switch side.

Man becoming woman,

woman dressing like man who like woman.

So confusing.

For example, if a gay man
discover he is transsexual...

Yeah.

...then if he has sex
change and becomes a woman...

- Okay.
- ...then discover

she is actually transgender...

Wait.

What's difference between
transgender and transsexual?

Hmm. I don't know, Mr. Kim.

What is the difference
between a transgender

and a transsexual?

No, is not a joke, Mr. Chin.

I ask you real question. I don't know.

Excuse me.

The word up on the street
is you having 15% discount,

for true?

What?

What what?

No. Sorry, I don't...

I can't catch hear what you talking.

What I talkin'?

No one can understand

what you both talking about it!

Lord have mercy!

Me just want to know if
the 15% discount be true?

Yeah, it's true but only for the gay.

What? That's illegal. Anti-straight.

Well, when's me get me discount then?

Uh, February.

Black History Discount Month.

That's the shortest month of the year.

But it's longer during leap year.

So, take full advantage.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you come in.

It's okay. Just wanted
to drop off my resume.

Hi, I'm here about the job.

- Oh. Um...
- Here we go.

Sorry, I think there's
a misunderstanding.

We're not looking for any help.

Yes, we is.

Hi, hi, good to see you both. Hmm?

Hmm. Okay.

First question, very important for job.

Do you go to church?

Umma, you can't ask that.

No, that's okay. I don't mind.

Yes, I do go to church.

That's where I saw your ad.

Me too.

- What ad?
- Good.

- Cool, Christian, Korean...
- Oh, my God!

I'm so sorry about this.

Just wait. Janet. Janet!

- Janet!
- What?

You don't even trying.

If you don't mingle, you stay single.

Do these guys know that I'm the job?

You should say thank you.

You don't know yet, but
Umma doing you big favor.

- Oh!
- Hey! What's happen?

Oh, the usual. Umma's ruining my life.

Aye! What you doing?

- Helping find boyfriend.
- Aeeshcham!

Janet is not a baby anymore.

She is now full balloon, grown woman.

She don't need you
help finding boyfriend.

Yeah. Thank you.

How can she have a boyfriend
when she take over store?

I'm not taking over the store.

- What's wrong with the store?
- Nothing's wrong

- with the store but...
- Then take over.

How she can take over
store when she have a baby?

- You have a baby?
- What? No!

After she marry, she have many babies.

Maybe we'll come back another time...

Let's be clear, I'm not
taking over the store

and I'm not having many babies. Okay?

The opening is now closed.

We have 15% gay discount
only for this week.

It's lucky day for you.

Oh, no, no, I'm not gay.

It's okay.

Sometimes, gay take time, hmm?

- Hi.
- Remember me?

I came for my discount.
And here is my proof.

Hi.

What's you favorite movie?

Um... Caddyshack.

With Bill Murray? See? Not gay.

He just doesn't wanna
give me the discount.

Not gay.

Young Bill Murray was very sexy.

You're the only one who thinks that.

- Hmm.
- What are you saying?

I know you said it was college

and you and Raquel were nothing special,

but you talk about her all the time.

She's a lesbian! She's a lesbian!

Well, maybe you're both
on that "almost-gay,

"almost-lesbian" part of the spectrum.

Yeah, spectrum.

Oh, my God, how did
this turn into a thing?

- It was nothing!
- Sound like a something to me.

Hey, man, can you pull
up that Toyota Corolla

one more time? I just wanted to...

- Umma?
- Jung, we have to talk.

Umma, where are you...
Umma, you can't go in there.

Close door.

Umma, I'm not closing the door.

This is my manager's office.

- It's a family emergency.
- Is everyone okay?

- No, it's Janet.
- What happened?

She is going to die...

...alone.

Umma, Janet being
single is not a crisis.

No, she stop listen to me.

- You have to talk to her.
- No, I don't.

And you need to back off.

- But Janet...
- Janet is 20 years old.

She can figure this out on her own.

All you're doing is pushing her away.

Is that what you want?

Then what? Not do anything...

- Hello, excuse me...
- We is here first.

- Sorry.
- Umma, no. That's my boss.

I am his mommy. Please
excuse, thank you.

Okay, I just need my insulin.

Five more minute, please.

Okay, I'll just have an orange.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I can't find the price on this.

- How much is it?
- Uh, regular $4.99,

but this week, we have a
discount only for the uh...

What you is?

Come again?

You is what kind, transgender?

I'm a drag queen.

Oh, you is man who dress like girl?

A woman. Yeah. Why?

Why you do like this?

Oh, um, I don't know.

It feels like me. Feels
like home. Always has.

- I'm Therese.
- I am Mr. Kim.

I think I'll just pick
up a few more things.

- Okay.
- Mmm.

- Where you coming from?
- Church.

Oh, I think there is a steal.

- Steal?
- Yeah.

- Money is missing. Check.
- Oh.

Hi, Janet, are you hungry?

Do you want galbijim, I
can make your favorite...

Stop.

When you get car?

When you didn't let me
take the van. It's a rental.

Where you get money for rental?

I got a discount from a friend.

- What friend?
- Um... It's...

Money is missing from
store. You know what happen?

Are you serious, Appa?

Are you seriously accusing
me of stealing money from you?

- No. No one is accuse, just...
- I can't even...

Forget it.

- Sorry.
- Oh, don't worry about me.

Family's family.

$22.95...

Minus 15%,

gay discount.

A gay discount?

Well, thank you very much.

Very nice meeting you, Mr. Kim.

Okay, see you.

Ow! What, he is not woman.

Gay discount is missing money.

Aeeshcham.

You have to tell Janet sorry.
For saying she is steal.

I never say she is steal.

You make her think
you think she is steal.

No, I make her think
I think money missing.

I never think she is steal.

I wonder but never think.

- Big difference.
- No difference.

I wonder if you is crazy,

doesn't mean I think you is crazy.

Appa, we is pushing her away like Jung!

We not wonder if he is
steal, we know he is steal!

Hi.

Janet, Janet.

Now she is runaway.

I didn't run away. Leave me alone.

- Okay.
- Appa.

Appa have something to say.

Say you is sorry.

I don't need to say sorry.

Nobody steal nothing.

- But you thought I did.
- No, I wonder if you do.

I'm not Jung.

Why we talking about him?

This is not about Jung.

I didn't steal anything,

but I'm the one being punished.

I not punish. I just talking.

You're talking to the wrong person.

I talking to you,

I talking to Umma, I talking to door.

Janet, we is sorry.

And who you hook around
with is up to you.

Thank you, Umma. I appreciate it.

Appa, I know it'll
kill you to apologize,

so return the rental car,
and we'll call it even.

Return rental car?

The address is on the keys,
and the car's out front. Deal?

- You fill up gas?
- Yup.

- No scratch? Okay.
- Nope.

Watch store.

You do know why I told Appa
to return the car, right?

Yeah, so he doesn't have to say sorry.

No, so he has to talk to Jung.

Oh.

Oh!

Finally, Peggy, yes. I
want the unlimited texting.

But I don't need the unlimited
calling in the Americas.

Just North America.

No, North America.

I'm pretty sure that's
still in Central America.

No, please don't put me on hold!

Hey.

- What's up?
- Uh, here's the thing,

when I was 16, my dad kicked me out,

or I might've run away,
it's all kinda blurry.

Okay, we're sharing. When
I was 15, I got a perm.

Really didn't suit me.

No, uh... That's my dad.

Okay...

I don't know how he
knew that I worked here.

I can't talk to him.

Can you handle this?

I've been trying to get
my cell phone plan upgraded

for the last 40 minutes.

Please? I will owe you big time.

Okay, fine,

but I'm talking to Peggy,

and I want unlimited texting
in Canada and the U.S.

Not Brazil, not Costa
Rica, not Paraguay.

Got it.

- How big is your family?
- He's the last one. Thanks.

Mr. Kim.

- So nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- How you know...
- Before you say anything,

family is tricky.

I have an uncle, a fisherman,
always reeked of fish

so I never wanted to hug him.

And then one day, he
went out on his boat,

and we never saw him again.

The occasional postcard from Mexico.

But the point is, sometimes
I yearn for a fishy hug.

Do you understand?

No. I'm here to return car rental.

Of course you are.

Let me take care of that for you.

- Is free?
- Yeah, help yourself.

- Do you need a ride?
- Yeah. I make coffee first.

- So?
- What?

How did the drop off go?

You see anybody there?

- Yeah.
- Who?

Shannon, store manager,
she drive me home.

She talk about Cape Breton, fishy uncle,

- but coffee is good.
- Did you see anyone else?

It's a car rental, not
international airport.

- Hi.
- Oh, sorry, no,

- interview is over.
- No, um...

I get this.

Look, you is cool,
Christian, Korean boy,

but even if Mrs. Kim like
you, even if I like you,

doesn't matter.

Janet has to like you. You understand?

- Uh...
- Did you pick a restaurant?

- You okay with the Duke?
- Love it.

Stop.

What is Korea day of Independence?

Uh, August 15th, 1945.

Gwangbokjeol.

Okay. Have good time.

I told you he'd ask.