Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 4, Episode 20 - Nursery Crimes - full transcript

A rash of stolen pacifiers puts Kim on the trail of an evil nanny.

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♪ CALL ME, BEEP ME
IF YOU WANNA REACH ME ♪

♪ WHEN YOU WANNA PAGE ME,
IT'S OK ♪

♪ WHENEVER
YOU NEED ME, BABY ♪

♪ CALL ME, BEEP ME,
IF YOU WANNA REACH ME ♪

HURRY, RON.

BABY AND MISSING ARE
A BAD COMBINATION.

RIGHT WITH YOU, K.P.

WADE, NEED A DNA SCAN
OF THE BABY'S HAIR.

THEN AN ULTRAVIOLET
SWEEP OF THE NURSERY.

RON?

LOOK, I SPELLED
RUFUS.



Woman: KIM POSSIBLE,
THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE!

WE CAME AS SOON
AS WE HEARD YOUR BABY WAS...

RIGHT THERE
IN YOUR ARMS?

IT'S NOT OUR BABY
THAT'S MISSING.

NO! IT'S HER... HER...

PACI!

YOU CALLED US FOR
A MISSING PACIFIER?

CAN'T YOU JUST
BUY A NEW ONE?

[BEEP]
WHAT UP, WADE?

SOMETHING
SERIOUSLY WEIRD.

LET ME GUESS.
A WORLDWIDE WAVE OF
STOLEN PACIFIERS?

YEAH. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

JUST A HUNCH.

WHOEVER DID THIS...



I SAID, WHOEVER
DID THIS LEFT A NOTE!

OH, LOOK!

RANSOM IS SPELLED OUT
IN LITTLE BOOTIES.

OH, THAT'S ADORABLE!

AND... ACHOO!
DUSTY.

NOT DUST. BABY POWDER.

SCAN COMPLETE, KIM.

AND... WE'RE LOOKING
AT A RARE BABY TALC,

MANUFACTURED IN THE TINY
ENGLISH VILLAGE OF
SHEERSOMESHEER.

WELL, IT USED TO BE.
NOT ANYMORE?

THE BABY POWDER FACTORY
HAS BEEN CLOSED FOR YEARS.

SOUNDS DEAD-ENDED.

MAYBE NOT.
LOOK AT THIS.

SHEERSOMESHEER IS ALSO
THE HOME OF A NANNY
TRAINING ACADEMY.

OH, WAIT.
ALSO CLOSED.

IT'S DOUBLE
DEAD-ENDED.
YEAH.

IT'S THE ONLY LEAD
WE'VE GOT.

BETTER CHECK IT OUT.

[WOLF HOWLS]

OK, THE CREEPY FACTOR'S
IN SERIOUS OVERFREAK HERE.

[OWL HOOTS]

IT'S JUST
AN OLD HOUSE.

IT'S NOT HAUNTED.

[GONG]

AAH! IT'S A ZOMBIE!

MAY I HELP YOU?

NOT A ZOMBIE. HI.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR NANNY MAME.

I AM SHE.

I'M KIM POSSIBLE
AND THIS IS RON STOPPABLE.

HEY. HAY IS FOR
HORSES, YOUNG MAN!

AND DO STAND UP
STRAIGHT.

YOUR POSTURE IS
ATROCIOUS!

YES, MA'AM.

WE WERE HOPING TO FIND OUT
ABOUT YOUR NANNY ACADEMY.

DEARIE, THERE HASN'T BEEN
AN ACADEMY HERE FOR YEARS.

NO ONE NEEDS
NANNIES ANYMORE,

AT LEAST NOT NANNIES WHO KNOW
HOW TO HANDLE UNRULY CHILDREN.

IT'S JUST THAT
WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS

ABOUT THE BABY POWDER THAT
USED TO BE MANUFACTURED HERE.

OH! PERHAPS I CAN
HELP YOU WITH THAT.

REALLY?
YES!

I WOULD SUGGEST
YOU TAKE YOUR QUESTIONS

AND... GO ELSEWHERE!

HUH?
[WOLF HOWLS]

[GASPS]

LET'S SEE IF THE OTHER
LOCALS ARE FRIENDLIER.

I'D SETTLE FOR NOT AS
BONE-CHILLINGLY EERIE.

WELCOME TO
THE COW AND CONE.

HAVE A PINT.

WOULD THAT BE HAND-SCOOPED
OR SOFT SERVE?

I'M A SCOOP GUY MYSELF.
PISTACHIO, PLEASE.

ME, TOO!

AND HOW ABOUT YOU, MISS?
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

INFORMATION.
CERTAINLY.

HAPPY TO HELP.

IT'S ABOUT
THE NANNY ACADEMY.

WELL, THERE WAS
AN ACADEMY RIGHT ENOUGH.

LOVELY OLD PLACE IT WAS.
WHAT HAPPENED?

OH, THE TIMES, MISS. SAME AS
THE REST OF SHEERSOMESHEER.

FIRST, THE BABY POWDER
PLANT CLOSED.

THEN PEOPLE STOPPED
HIRING NANNIES.

AND THAT'S WHEN THEY WENT
INTO THE ZOMBIE BUSINESS, RIGHT?

OH...
WHAT'S HE ON ABOUT?

WHAT ABOUT THE OLD
WOMAN WE SPOKE TO THERE?

YOU SPOKE TO...
NANNY MAME?

OH, YOU NEEDN'T WORRY
A TICK ABOUT HER.

SHE'S A LOVELY WOMAN,
THAT ONE.

SALT OF THE EARTH.

A HEART OF GOLD,
SHE HAS.

THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM
LIKE HER ANYMORE.

WHY WOULD
THEY WANT TO?

WHAT ARE THEY
LOOKING FOR?

NOT BABIES, MISS.
NEVER BABIES.

WE LIKES BABIES
AROUND HERE, WE DO.

[CHUCKLES]
THAT'S RIGHT.

OH, YES. WE LIKE
BABIES JUST FINE.

BUT NOT SNOOPERS
LIKE YOU.

[MURMURING]

PERHAPS YOUR ORDER
SHOULD BE FOR TAKE-AWAY.

THINGS ARE
WAY WEIRD HERE.

YEAH. PISTACHIO
IS SUPPOSED TO BE GREEN.

WE NEED TO TAKE ANOTHER
LOOK AT THAT ACADEMY.

OK, BUT WALK SLOW,
'CAUSE [SLURP]

ONCE YOU GET PAST THE
PURPLE, THIS IS GOOD PISTACHIO.

Rufus: MMM! MMM!

Bartender: OH! OH!
I DIDN'T TELL 'EM NOTHING!

I SWEAR'S I DIDN'T!
[GLASS BREAKING]

I'LL ONLY BE
A SHERBET THEN.

[OWL HOOTS]

RON, INFILTRATING.
NO CRUNCH ZONE.

RIGHT.

OH! THERE'S CHOCOLATE
AT THE BOTTOM! HA!

[SIGHS]

WADE, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

NOTHING I CAN PUT
MY FINGER ON.

INFRARED SHOWS SOMETHING IN
THERE IS USING A LOT OF POWER.

BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT.

AAH!

KIM, DON'T LOOK.

THIS IS POSSIBLY THE
SICKEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.

SICKER THAN THE TIME YOU
PUT DIABLO SAUCE ON PANCAKES?

MUCH!

[GASPS]

CAPTURED BY BABIES.

THIS IS A NEW
PERSONAL LOW.

YOU GOT TO ADMIT
THEY WERE CUTE.

UNTIL THEY KICKED
OUR BUTTS.

APPARENTLY DURING
YOUR LAST VISIT,

I DID NOT MAKE
MYSELF CLEAR.

OH, IT'S VERY CLEAR.

YOU'RE CREATING AN ARMY
OF SUPER BABIES

AND USING THEM
TO STEAL PACIFIERS.

OK, NOW, SEE,
I WAS THINKING THAT,

BUT WHEN YOU SAID IT
OUT LOUD,

IT SOUNDED SILLY.
I KNOW.

YOUR IMPERTINENCE
MUST BE PUNISHED!

[TEAPOT WHISTLES]
AFTER TEA.

EXCUSE ME A MOMENT.

I'LL KEEP HER TALKING. YOU
SEE IF RUFUS CAN FREE US.

OK, RIGHT.
RUFUS?

RUFUS, YOU GOT TO
CHEW THROUGH THESE ROPES.

[CHUCKLING]

[CHEWING]

SO VERY NAUGHTY...
TRYING TO MUCK UP

NANNY MAME'S PLANS
LIKE THIS.

HMM...[SLURP]
WHAT TO DO?

YOU COULD TELL US
WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT?

THAT'S SORT OF TRADITIONAL
IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.

WELL, DEARIE,
BACK IN THE DAY,

I TRAINED THE STERNEST NANNIES
THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.

BUT TIMES CHANGED.

A STERN NANNY WAS
NO LONGER THE FASHION.

FEWER AND FEWER OF
MY GRADUATES WERE HIRED.

FINALLY, NANNY HAD TO CLOSE
HER LOVELY ACADEMY FOR GOOD.

SO, THIS IS ABOUT
REVENGE.

DO NOT INTERRUPT.
THAT IS QUITE RUDE!

NANNY MAME REALIZED
SHE COULD MAKE MORE MONEY

MAKING CHILDREN UNHAPPY THAN
SHE COULD MAKING THEM HAPPY.

HEY, WHAT'S MORE
TRADITIONAL THAN GRIEF?

AND THE, UM,
HENCH BABIES?

THESE LITTLE DEARS?

THEY SHOW JUST WHAT
TRADITIONAL NANNYING

AND FIRM DISCIPLINE
CAN ACCOMPLISH.

ALSO, FEEDING FULL-SIZE
HENCHMEN GETS A BIT PRICEY.

CHEAP. THAT'S
TRADITIONAL, TOO.

THE GOOD GUYS GETTING FREE
WHILE THE BAD GUY EXPLAINS THE PLAN...

ALSO TRADITIONAL.

YOU AMERICANS HAVE SOME
VERY STRANGE TRADITIONS...

ONES FOR WHICH
I DON'T MUCH CARE.

GET THEM!

[BABBLING]

RON STOPPABLE IS MORE
THAN A MATCH FOR ANY BABY!

I GOT A LITTLE SIS
MYSELF, SO BRING IT ON!

OHH! I MEANT
ONE AT A TIME. AAH!

HOW DO I FIGHT BABIES?

HOW DO YOU NOT
FIGHT THEM?

AAH! HEY, WATCH
THE FACE!

THAT'S IT, DEARIES.
MAKE NANNY PROUD.

AAH!

MAN, THESE ARE
SOME TOUGH BABIES.

[RUFUS CHATTERING]

[BABBLES]

HEY, THAT TICKLES.
HA HA!

OH, THIS IS
EMBARRASSING.

BOO-YAH.

DON'T BE A BABY, RON.

HUH?

IT'S VERY BAD MANNERS

TO PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD!

WHOA!

[GASP]

THESE AREN'T LIKE THE
BABIES YOU'RE USED TO.

THEY'RE AS STRONG
AS FULL-GROWN MEN.

WELL, THE BABIES
I'M USED TO...

OF COURSE. THIS ISN'T
A SAVE THE WORLD THING.

IT'S A BABYSITTING THING.

UH-OH. WHERE DID
KIMMY GO?

SHE'S RIGHT THERE!

YOU'RE ACTING...
[STAMMERS]

LIKE CHILDREN!

PEEK-A-BOO!

[LAUGHING]

OOH!

STOP HER!

GOO-GOO, GAH, GAH.

[GIGGLING]

Ron: GLAD THAT'S OVER.

UM, IT'S NOT QUITE OVER.

HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU GO
THROUGH THAT MACHINE?

I LOST COUNT. WHY?

YOU KNOW, I FIND
THE GIANT DIAPER

A DELIGHTFUL CHANGE
OF PACE.

Woman, sighing: WE FINALLY
GOT HER SETTLED DOWN.

She's asleep now.

WE RECOVERED
THE PACIFIER.

RON, WHERE IS IT?

GOT IT RIGHT HERE, K.P. [GASP]

HEH, HEH. I'LL JUST
WIPE IT OFF.

CAREFUL, RON.

OOPS! OK, WAIT, NOW.
I GOT IT.

DON'T WORRY,
DON'T WORRY.

THERE'S PLENTY MORE
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
NO? OK. THIS ONE?

I THINK THIS ONE'S
FROM FRANCE. NO?

YOU LIKE PINK?
OH, COME ON.

EVERYBODY LIKES PINK.
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

[PURRING]

[SCREAMS]

OHH! [SPITS]

[PURRING]

[LICKING, RUFUS GIGGLING]