Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 2, Episode 8 - Job Unfair - full transcript

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Don't be fooled
by chrome plating

and free doughnuts, Shego.

These salesmen can smell
first-time buyers

like sharks smell blood.

Yeah. How 'bout
if I do the talking?

Not a chance.

Now, watch a master at work.

Ooh! Shiny!

And... cue the sharks.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Welcome to Wacky Wally's
Weather Machines.



Doughnut?
They're free.

You sold me.

( both laughing )

( sighs )

First time weather
machine buyer?

Well, yes, but I have
done my research.

Uh, uh, yeah, sure.

What are you planning
to use the machine for?

By harnessing the power
of an ice storm,

I will obliterate...

( laughing ):
Oh, we'd rather not

get into the details.

Supervillains, am I right?

Is it the blue skin?



Because I get that a lot.

Hey, our weather machines
are perfectly legal.

How you use them...

that's your business, eh? Eh?

Try one.

I can see you're a
discerning customer.

Nothing says "doomsday machine"
like the 3000 LXS.

Hurricane-grade winds,
water-vapor compressor.

It makes the perfect storm
even better.

Heated seats?

Standard.

We'll take it.

Great! Hey, why don't we

step into the office to discuss

our financing packages?

No, I mean we'll take it. Shego!

( engines powering up )

( startled yell )

Thanks for the doughnuts.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪

♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm... ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

On either side

of the gymnasium,

you'll find representatives

of many exciting career choices.

Okay.

And now we will present
a short video,

Making Your Career Take Flight.

Just a brochure's good, thanks.

And some more peanuts.

Check that off.

What exciting career

should we scope out next?

Huh?

Yikes!

Yeah, nix on the veterinarian.

Bad memories.
Cold hands.

( teeth chattering )

So you have to hang

with this mentor
for a whole week?

Ron, it's a great opportunity.

A mentor can be
a huge inspiration.

I don't know, KP.

It seems to me... Whoa!

A jelly doughnut stuffer!

Teach me, dude!

Listen up, people.

It's time to pair up

with one of the volunteer
mentors here today.

Choose carefully.

Your entire future could well
hinge on this decision.

You have two minutes.

But we haven't talked
to half the people yet.

Two words, KP... Doesn't matter.

International diplomacy.
That's it.

Excuse me. Sorry.
Coming through.

Oh!

( gasps )

Lesson number one,

young lady... these devices
can be dangerous.

So not the drama.

I'm totally fine, Mister, uh...?

Call me Joe.
Ready to begin training?

Training?
I have little time
and much to teach you.

Huh? Oh, no. I was
rushing to International...

Ah, Possible.
And Joe, the new janitor.

Interesting mentor choice.

Mr. Barkin, wait.

He's not my...

The custodial arts...
Frequently maligned

and misunderstood, but crucial

to all institutions
and industries.

Sure, but I-I was planning...

I look forward to your report.

Great.

Some career week.

More like Mopping 101.

Maybe I could get
someone to trade mentors.

Hey, don't look at me, lady.

I took a pass
on the whole mentor thing.

It's just so stupid, you know?

( whines )

Jelly-doughnut stuffer
didn't work out?

Too much math.

Hi, Kimmy.

Hey, Mom... Mom?!
What are you doing here?

Well, I know it's

a little last-minute,

but the school asked me
to help out with career week.

Total score.
You saved me, Mom.

You won't believe who I was
almost stuck with for a mentor.

Ooh, sorry, honey.
I'd love to help you out,

but I'm paired up with...

Oh, no.

Not... Bonnie.
Bonnie.

Doctors are so fascinating,

don't you think?

And who did you get
for a mentor, Kim?

Oh, that's right...
The new janitor.

( phone beeping )

It's the hospital.
We'd better get going.

Good night, Kimmy.

Oh, Kim, now that
you're a janitor,

could you do something
about the mirrors

in the girls' bathroom?

They kinda streaky.

( growling )

Damp down, KP, and remember,

the whole mentor concept

is a trap.

COMPUTER:
Bio scan complete.

Subject is Ron Stoppable.

What?

I've got a mentor! Listen.

Listen to this.

"Due to my ongoing
espionage activities,

"initial communication will be
via non-traceable means." Yes!

I thought you don't
believe in mentors.

But this one's a spy.

I mean, it's not like I got

a janitor or something.

( growls )

"Devices to begin your training
will be provided.

This letter will self-destruct
in ten seconds."

Ron.
Okay, I know what
you're going to say.

No, no, no. Ron.

And I am willing
to share my mentor's

wisdom with you.
The letter.

Whew.

Ron Stoppable, secret
agent in training.

I'm so happy for you.

Shego, what are you doing?!

Uh, looking
for the owner's manual.

Owners manuals are for lackwits.

Uh-huh.

Watch as I deploy
the water-collection hose.

( evil laughter )

This machine can store

an entire lake
of super-compressed

water molecules, to be
released in tempest form

whenever I decide.

( evil laughter )

You got that from the brochure.

Mm, the point is
that now I have the power

to take Canada by storm.

Why Canada, anyway?

High literacy rate,
good health care,

and sparkling clean cities.

Since when do you...?

All of which will be
my evil kingdom

when I rename it...
Drakk-Canada.

Ooh, that rolls off the tongue.

( whines )

( muttering )

Maybe they put the manual
in this pocket here.

Forget the manual!

These controls are designed
to work intuitively.

( electronic whirring )

There. You see?

( thunder crashing )

( shrieks )

Turn it off.

( gibbering )

( flushing )

Perhaps we should
get the manual.

Gee, you think?

Hello. Anybody home?

And so we begin.

Let me guess...
Some tips on mopping?

My teachings will
center on... this.

A vacuum cleaner.

The Vacrometer.

You will know it inside and out.

Fun.

Starting at the four,
the output valve.

Note the unique flanging.

Tell me something's up, Wade.

I don't think
I can handle another lesson

in "the way
of the vacuum cleaner."

Tough mentor, huh?

Let's just say he takes his job
seriously. Freaky seriously.

Hmm.

Here's something...
A weather machine

was stolen
off Wacky Wally's lot.

Wacky Wally over Janitor Joe.

I'll take it. Thanks, Wade.

Morning, Kimmy.

How's Career Week going?

Worse than terrible.

Are you sure you don't
need another mentee?

Give it a chance, honey.

You can learn
something from everyone.

( doorbell ringing )
I'd better get that.

It's probably Bonnie.

What's she doing here?

Heads up! Coming through!

Are you tweebs
trying to get hurt?

( gasps )

( yells )

We heard about your
new janitor job.

We wanted to see what
was so cool about it.

Nothing is cool about it.

I hate it. It stinks.

BOTH:
Gotta go.

( explosion )

And you're not very good at it.

Yeah, this place is a mess.

I'm off to work, kids.

What happened?

Looks like Kim's bringing

her work home with her.

( growls )

Thanks for the lift,
Mr. PV.

It's the least I could do,

after you pulled me out
of those sequoia branches.

No big. It was only
a 300-foot climb.

I wonder if you could help me
with one other thing, Kim.

Sure.
I've heard you're

getting into the
janitorial field.

I've got these oily stains
on my balloon.

I've tried scrubbing,
I've tried soaking...

Sorry, sir.

You heard wrong.

That's definitely not my area.

So, you want to know
where I got this suit?

From your mystery mentor?

The art of conversation
is truly dead.

So, this is where
the supervillains shop.

You know, I pictured something
less festive.

Welcome to Wacky Wally's
Weather Machines.

You want to take a test drizzle?

I took care of that
before we left.

We're here about the robbery.

Oh, right.

You just can't trust
supervillains anymore.

Ooh, and that blue guy seemed
like such a sucker.

Blue guy?

With a girl in green?

Oh, yeah.

( purrs )

Drakken and Shego.

We need to know
what they're up to.

I never ask.

You sure I can't put you
in a weather machine?

How about this Cumulus 2000?

Ooh, shiny!

( alarm ringing )

Come on, Agent Ron.

We got, uh, ninja smoke bomb,
crypto decoder...

I don't know what this is...

( gasps )

( grunts )

Sorry I can't chat, Kimmy.

I got to book with the book.

( grunts )

Yah! Hah!

Another time, princess.

( grunts )

I've got her, KP!

( yells )

( grunts )

( yelling )

( shrieks )

Wrong button?

I was going for projectile net.

Wade, Drakken's got
a weather machine

and the manual to go with it.

Want me to check the satellites

and let you know
if I see anything weird?

Please and thank you.

Come on, Agent Ron.

( up-tempo techno music plays )

Okay, girls, that
was almost perfect.

We just need to clean
up the ending a little.

Speaking of cleaning,

looks like you've got
a visitor, Kim.

( groans )

You missed our appointment.

Really?

Well, I-I'm kind
of busy right now.

How about we make it up later?

Not later.

The time is now.

The subject is the vacrometer.

There is still much to learn.

Don't worry, Kim,
I can take it from here.

We understand how important
your new janitorial career is.

( laughing )

KIM:
Joe, I get that you're trying
to help me, but...

Focus your thoughts.

You must be able to field strip

the vacrometer in
battle conditions.

Okay, see, I know

the fight against dirt
is, like, a battle...

You are learning.

So, the main output valve

is connected to
the filter compression tank

with a bypass located in
the gear-shifting transmuter.

( beeping )
Hold that thought.

Hey, Wade.
What's the sitch?

Urgent, Kim.

You're needed
at BN Headquarters.

BN Headquarters?!

I'm there.

Oh, I got to go.
Catch you later, okay?

Wait. This is crucial.

( engine humming )

Okay, water output requires
a repeating sequence.

I was this close
to figuring it out myself.

Yeah, uh-huh. You want
to help me out here?

Okay, toggle that output switch.

I'm toggling.

No, that's flipping.

You want me to...?

I can tog...

I can toggle, Shego.

I am a genius.

But have you ever been tested?

Have I...?

( beeping )
Oh, there!

The hydro-compression sequence
has been initiated.

( whooshing )

Step one...

suck the lake
into the compression tank.

Step two,
generate a very big storm,

the likes of which
no one has ever seen.

Step three, conquer Canada.

What now?

I'm wondering about the fish.

The what?

Yeah, the fish.
The fish in the water

that we're taking out
of the lake.

What happens to them?

They... I... I...

They go somewhere.

That's not important.

What matters is that
my weather machine is working.

And soon...

♪ Oh, Drakk-Canada! ♪

It matters if you're a fish.

KIM:
BN Headquarters.
Also known as Bueno Nacho.

Pretty slick, Wade.

I figured you could use
an assist.

You have no idea.

I am so dumb
with that vacuum cleaner.

Later.

( imitating Connery ):
Hello, Miss Possible.

The name's Stoppable.
Ron Stoppable.

( raspy squeak )

Winter formal's not
for months, Ron.

It's the latest in spy wear.

My mentor left it for me.

I'm thrilled.
Moving on.

Oh, come on. You still
bummed-out about...?

Don't say the "m" word.

Gotcha. Okay.

Nothing about the mentors...

except to say
that mine is the coolest.

Look, look, look
what the bow tie does.

Check it out.

It's sneezing powder.

You squirt it...

( sneezes )
and it... ( sneezes )

See, it comes out... ( sneezes )

I didn't order yet.

( beeping )

Hey, it looks like

there's a note.

"The time to test your skills
is approaching.

"Be prepared.

This chimirito will
self-destruct in ten seconds."

Huh! The chi...
( sneezes )

( beeping )

No!
( explosion )

( squeals )

Yummy.

( beeping )

Hey, Wade.

More trouble at BN Headquarters?

Trouble up north, Kim.

Drakken's weather machine
has struck,

and it's sucking
the Great Lakes dry.

Take a look at this.

( sobbing )

I've mapped Drakken's hits.

One lake left.

Canada, eh?

Let's go, Ron.

( squeals )

( wails )

WADE:
My weather satellite
imaging system

says Drakken's coordinates
should be

a little north of you.

According to the brochure
at the showroom,

the weather machine
Drakken stole

looks like this.
That?

( engine humming )

Now that the Great Lakes
are "eh,"

it's time for the second phase
of my plan.

Do you know what that is, Shego?

That's the, uh, that's
the storm thing, right?

( groans )

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you want to rant some more?

Thank you.

Once Canada flees
my stormy grip,

call the map makers,

and tell them
about Drakk-Canada!

( sinister laughter )

Look!

( sputtering )

Kim Possible?!

Maybe there's some controls
on the other side.

SHEGO:
Why not try
the roof?

Tell it to
the immobilization ray, Shego.

( moans )

Ron?

You really need some help
with the sidekicks.

A lightning rod?

Yeah, if it were up to me,

I'd go for the direct approach,

but you know Drakken.

( grunts )

Don't worry, KP.

Immobilization wearing off.

( grunting )

( squeals )

And cue the lightning.

Don't worry, Kim.
I'm sure my mentor

gave me a gadget to
get us out of here.

So, if your mentor's so great,
why hasn't he helped us yet?

Joe?

There's not much time.
I'll explain on the way.

Okay... really feeling like
I'm missing something here.

( engine powering up )

Is this because I gooned
on our last meeting?

Let's just hope you
learned what you need
for this assignment.

What assignment?

Stopping Drakken's vacrometer.

You mean,
his weather machine thingie?

Yes, vacrometer.
That's what I said.

Shego, what's the code

for the storm shield?

Okay, uh, it's
"blue-blue-red-blue."

( rattling and whirring )

The vacuum was a model
of the weather machine?

How do you know about all this?

You're a janitor.

That's was my cover.

Good janitor disguise.

What disguise?

This is the uniform

of a top secret
Canadian spy organization.

You're a spy?!

A Canadian spy, eh.

Why didn't you just tell me?

I thought I was
painfully obvious.

Oh.
Just like my messages
to young Stoppable.

You're my mentor?!

Kim Possible?!

Again?!

Shego, more lightning.

As the world's
foremost Drakken expert,

you were a natural
for this mission.

But I don't know anything
about weather machines.

That's why I was
sent to train you.

( squeals )
Oh... my bad.

Controls are shot.
Get up to the vacrometer,

and implement
dismantling sequence.

Uh... could you go over it
a few more times?

No time. Go!

Right behind you, KP.

( beeps )

( Ron whoops and laughs )

Come on, come on.

There's got to be
a way to stop these.

( geese honking )

( gasps and yells )

( honking )

( yells )

( honking )

Okay, Kim, think.

There was definitely something
about a flange.

What was it about?

Aw...

Today's forecast...

100% chance

of pain.

Yah!

Hya!

( grunting )

Come on, come on.

( grunts )

What are you doing?

( beeps )

( yelling )

What's wrong, Kimmy?

Feeling under the weather?

( Ron yells )

Falling pressure, Shego?

Go, KP!

Start with the output valve.

Okay, not exactly that.

Ooh, ooh! Try twisting
this knobby thing.

Whoa!

( whooshing )

( groaning )

We definitely ruled out
twisting that knobby thing.

Thank you, Ron.

No problem.

Oh, why didn't I pay
more attention?

Got to think.

The main output valve
is connected to the...

the filter compression tank.

With the bypass located
in the gear-shifting transmuter.

Okay, so that means...

You're too late, Kim Possible.

Any second, this storm
will be complete

and unstoppable.

Actually, it's Stoppable.

Ron Stoppable.

I don't get it.

( inhales )

( sneezes )

( sneezes )

Ooh, yeah!

Nice work, Agent Stoppable.

Now, I'm pretty sure

that shutdown has to begin
with the hydro-reflux valve.

Yes!

The water's going back
to the lake.

Kim, you did it.

With seconds to spare.

Joe would be proud.

( moaning )

( rumbling )

SHEGO:
So, that's what
happened to the fish.

KIM:
So, you're all packed?

Yes, it's time
to return to Canada.

Well, thanks for...
you know, training me.

Wish I had been
a better student.

When it came down to it,
you had the right stuff.

Even him.

Joe, you just can't go.

But I must, young Stoppable.

Duty calls.

That's what I'm talking about.

The boys' room by the
cafeteria is a disaster.

Stoppable,
I'm not really a janitor.

Ms. Possible,
farewell.

Yeah, later.

I actually think I'm
going to miss him.

Me, too.

( door opens )
Joe?

I am Ludwig.

You must be the new janitor.

Welcome to Middleton High.

I'm Kim Possible.

Ach! Miss Possible,

it is excellent
that I have found you fast.

I am a Bavarian spy
on a top secret mission.

Really? Great!

Here we go.