Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 2, Episode 30 - Rewriting History - full transcript

Kim tries to restore the reputation of one of her ancestors.

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TEACHER: All right,
listen up, field-trippers.

Some of you may not think

that history is cool or fun

or interesting.

Fine with me. I'm paid
to teach, not entertain.

Ron!

I'm awake.

( snoring )

Rufus!

100 years ago,
the world came to Middleton.

Where did they all stay?



The fair introduced
new techno wonders

like the Ferris wheel,
photographic sound,

even ice cream and hamburgers.

And that's all peachy swell.

But for the next 90 minutes,

I'm going to focus on obscure
names, dates and statistics.

( all groan )

Kim, this
is a snackage emergency.

We need sugar and lots of it.

That's what I'm talking about.

Wow, look at this.

I wonder how old
these candies are.

No way!

Ooh, yeah! Yummy!



Spark Rocks.

I haven't had these
bad boys in years.

See, when you bite them,

they actually send a jolt
of static electricity

through your soft tissue.

My hair standing on end?

No more so than usual.

That's funny.

Maybe it's because they expired

when we were in pre-K.

Come on.

Note the resemblance.

My own great grandpap

was the chief of police
back at the big expo.

Ron. Shh.

Kim, check this.

They look like us.

That's right.

You both had ancestors
at the fair, too.

"Detective Jonathan Stoppable

and ace reporter
Meriam Possible"?

Meriam?

Went by Mim in her bylines.

From all accounts,
she was a lot like
you, Possible.

Spunky, headstrong,
disrespectful.

I am not!

Hey, I wonder why
my dad's never
mentioned her.

Maybe because Mim Possible

pulled off the crime
of the century.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪

♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm... ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

KIM:
My ancestor,
criminal of the century?

Don't worry, Kim,
the century was young.

I'm sure other
people did worse...

eventually.

Mr. Barkin, what did she do?

Vamoosed with some
big new invention.

It was scandalous.

What's the prob, K?

Not the history lesson
you were expecting?

I need to know more.

Here you go.

According to Grandpap's
official report...

"I was patrolling the Expo
with Detective Stoppable."

Mim thinks we should
beef up security

around the new invention,

the electro whatever it is.

Detective Stoppable,

high-falutin' lady journalists

don't make the security
decisions around here.

I do.

Well, she did help us solve
the warehouse arson case

and she was right
about the missing
African diamond caper.

And she...

Slam, Stoppable!

MAN:
Help! Constable, help!

Constable?

I think he means us.
Pedal, man!

Pedal like the wind.

My greatest invention, stolen!

Mim!

Wake up, man.
She played you for a mug,

a patsy, a two-bit dupe.

You're still mad about the time

I accidentally ate
your pickled egg, aren't you?

She sent you off to jawbone me

and keep us both busy

while she pulled off
the heist herself.

Mim a thief?
I don't believe it, sir.

I don't believe it, either.

There's some additional
documentation

as to the pickled egg,
but I think we get the gist.

And your family had the nerve
to stay in this town?

That's just one Barkin's
opinion, Bonnie.

It's not too late to move.

You know, start over

where people don't know
the shame

of the Possible name.

( snickers )

Why have I never heard of you?

I hate to admit it, Kimmy,

but all family trees
have their weak limbs.

Great Aunt Miriam
was a real spitfire.

A muckraker. Fearless.

Could have been the greatest.

So what happened to her?

Well, once she was accused,

our little black sheep
went on the lam.

How could anybody
who did so much
good go so bad?

Ah, don't worry, Kimmy.

I'm sure it won't happen to you.

Dad!

Oh, that's not where
you were going with this.

No.

I just have a hunch
that Mim's innocent.

Well, they never found
the stolen invention,

and since she ran off,
her reputation was ruined.

But if no one ever proved
that she did it,

there's still a chance
that she didn't.

Maybe, but so what?
It was a century ago, Kim.

BONNIE:
Oh, yeah, stealing runs
in the family.

I always said
all her best cheer moves

were ripped off from me.

( growls )

KP, dig it!
I found this at home.

A journal of Jonathan Stoppable?

Slammin'.

Where'd you find this?

It's been under our kitchen
table's wobbly leg

for, like, ever.

Just noticed it there
this morning. Weird, huh?

Ah, okay. Here it is.

"Today at the World's Fair,

I saw the future,
and it's name is Taco."

Hey, tacos here.
Get your tacos.

Jonathan! Jon!

You were supposed to meet me

at the Hall
of Electricity
an hour ago.

You want 'em or not?

He wants them.
Trust me.

Crunchy, spicy, cheesy.

I am one satisfied customer.

My only satisfied customer.

Take heart, my good taco hawker.

No one applauds
real pioneers in their time.

Make haste, Jon.

We must get
to the Hall of Electricity

before Professor DeMenz
begins his demonstration.

What demonstration?

Everyone at the fair
is atwitter about it.

He calls it the...

"Electrostatic Illuminator."

That's right!
The Electrostatic Illuminator!

A timer.
I set it for 60 seconds.

Now I will absorb, contain,

and control power
from the very air.

Observe!

When it goes off...

( ringing )

Hmm!

It's no taco.

Imagine how this marvel
can be used.

Excuse me, Professor?

How can this marvel be used?

I said imagine, Miss.

So go ahead. I'll wait.

You don't know what to do
with it, do you, Professor?

Well, it makes lightning.

That's got to be good
for something, yeah?

Something dangerous, I'm afraid.

In the wrong hands, I suppose.

Maybe.

Stop that!

( whistling )

I'm concerned that some
nefarious character

might try to thieve it.

My dear girl,
you are a worrywart.

What kind of nefarious character

would be bent
on wreaking such havoc?

Oh, I have a strong notion.

Who? Who?

Two weeks!

If they were normal termites,

we'd be talking
two or three days tops.

But these seem
to be mutant termites.

Mutant?! Really?

Well, I can assure
you I have no idea

how they got that way.

Mad scientists...

Always perverting nature in
their twisted quest for power.

The lair doesn't have

to be tented the
entire time, does it?

Oh, no.

Out of the two weeks,

the tent will only be up
for, eh, 14 days.

Thank goodness.

Very funny.

Hey, I do what I can.

But where will I hatch
my evil schemes?

Relax, Dr. D.

I took care of it.

Ah, goo.. Oh, no.

Please, not the time-share lair.

Oh, how I loathe this place.

What a mess.

Let me guess.

Previous tenant,
Professor Dementor?

No. It's someone named DeMenz.

Doy.
That's Dementor's real name.

He uses a fake name?

Yeah, can you imagine?

Drew Lipsky?

Hold up.
What does that say?

"Collector plates,

limited edition figurines
and brick-a-brack."

Hmm.
Not interested.

Not that box.
That one.

"The groundbreaking work
of my ancestor

that could be used
to wreak havoc."

All right. I'll bite.

"Electrostatic Illuminator."

Why does that ring a bell?

Can it be?

What?

It would be an uncanny
coincidence.

What?

If this is what I think it is.

What!

It's a Lipsky family legend.

I must possess it.

This thing
is, like, 100 years old.

Why are you interested in it?

Because, Shego,

the Electrostatic Illuminator

is the reason
I became a villain!

( evil laugh )

Dr. D, I thought you
became a villain

because of the guys
who teased you in nerd school.

Well, thank you
for harshing my
mellow, Shego.

Now quickly,
to my mother's attic.

All right. I'm going to go,
but I am not sure why.

KIM:
It's pretty amazing, really.

A machine that can actually

absorb the static electricity
out of the air

and fire it back
like a bolt of lightening.

So now we know what the
Electrostatic Illuminator was.

And that Mim was trying
to keep it safe.

( phone beeping )
What? Who?

What's the sitch, Wade?

We got a big break in the case.
Get this.

My great-great grand uncle Wayne
was the expo photographer.

Are you kidding me?

Another freaky coincidence?

( gasping )

So beyond the freaky factor,
what have you got?

My great-great grand uncle
Wayne's original pictures.

Really?

Drakken?

Shocked much?

It's the Spark Rocks.
They work.

( gasps )

Wade, that can't
really be Drakken.

It isn't.
It's his ancestor.

Drakken had
an ancestor there, too?

Okay, okay, you know what?

This is just getting ludicrous.

Yep.
Bartholomew Lipsky.

Drakken's great-
great grandfather.

Kim, you know what they say?

The nut doesn't fall far
from the tree.

Acorn, but you're right.

A Lipsky on the scene
can't be good.

I'm sick of waiting, Lipsky.

Let's steal the fool thing
and get it over with.

Patience, Miss Go.

Tonight, when there are
no witnesses,

that is when we strike.

And when the Electrostatic
Illuminator is mine,

the whole world's fair will bow

before me...

( gasps )

Uh, testing, one, two, three.

( scratchy, over speaker ):
And when the Electrostatic
Illuminator is mine,

the whole World's Fair
will bow before me.

Oh, I could listen
to this over and over.

I never could crack
the mystery as a child.

And yet it inspired me so.

( electric buzzing )

I was quite
the evil little dreamer.

Uh-huh, yeah.

And this is...?

Oh, that's
Mr. Cuddlesworth.

Drewby's very favorite.

Milk and cookies!

Thank you, Mother.

Try one, Shego.

♪ They have no calories. ♪

Listen, before blankey
and nappy nap,

anyone want
to enlighten me here?

Oh, great-great-pop-pop Lipsky

got this as a souvenir
at the Tri-City Expo.

You know, Drew,

they've got a big exhibit
on the Expo

down at the museum
right this minute.

Isn't that something?

Really?
This bears investigation.

KIM:
Wow!

So Drakken and Shego
had ancestors there.

All right, team.
Mystery solved.

So, now anybody have a clue why
these suddenly decided to work?

Ron, we still haven't
proven Mim's innocence.

( phone beeping )

All these pics he took,
he probably knows more.

You should talk to Uncle Wayne.

Yeah, somehow a seance
is not what I had in mind

for this afternoon...
Thanks, though.

Uncle Wayne's still
alive and kicking.

He was only 10
when he shot the expo.

RON:
You're 110?!

And I still
look better than you.

We were hoping
you could help us.

She's obsessed with
the good family name thing.

( cart whirs )

You can see what I saw.

Ooh, ooh! Did they have
seesaws at the fair too?

You could be Jon's double.

Thank you.

I was experimenting

with nighttime exposures there.

Taking pictures of everything

and everybody.

That's when I spotted
Miriam and Jon.

Worrywart.
Hunch.

Worrywart.
Hunch.

Worrywart!
Jonathan...

you have got to convince
the chief.

Okay, okay, I'll tell him
to add more security.

I'm going to pick
him up right now.

Not the best exposure
there, Wayne.

It was 100 years ago.

Things weren't all dumbed down
and digital.

Yeah, but doesn't it
kind of remind you of...

...a squid juggling
lunch meat?

Uh, Shego?

Oh! Yeah!

Professor DeMenz!

( grunts )

You! Help!

Constable! Help!

A photo captures a tick in time.

Too bad for Mim
I captured the
wrong tick.

That is one
incriminating picture.

That was my last flash.

The rest of my pictures
that night

might as well been of
coal miners in a blackout.

Okay. You couldn't take
any more pictures.

Well, did you see anything?

Girl, it was dark.

The fracas was too far away.

The way I figured it,
Mim must have been fighting

the real thieves,
but I couldn't say for sure.

Did you ever tell Chief Barkin?

I'm sure he'd listen to you.

Hey, P, we're talking
about a Barkin here.

He's right.

I was a ten-year-old kid
with a theory

and Barkin was the chief of
police with his own theory.

His theory made for
an exciting headline.

What happened
after that last flash?

WAYNE:
I can tell you this:

I heard a racket coming
from the Ferris wheel.

( grunts )

( gasps )

Toss up the Illuminator,
Miss Go.

( yelling )

( grunts )

No!

( both gasp )

Wait! Go back!

Get the dingus!

How do you stop this thing?

WAYNE:
By the time
the chief pulled foot,

the shyster done skedaddled.

( gasps )

Well, what happened
to the dingus?

The Electrostatic Illuminator
was never found.

( beeping )

Hey, Wade, what up?

I've been digitally enhancing
the old photos.

( electronic whir )

Digitally enhancing... ew!

WADE:
There's your proof.

Way to go, Wade.

Can you make me
some wallet-size?

WADE:
Kim, that's not the weird part.

( sighs )

Okay, weird me.

During the fight,
I think the timer

must've been accidentally set.

That's a lot of minutes.

100 years worth.

Who cares about a
hundred-year-old timer?

Is this the wrong place
to say that?

Ron, when Professor
DeMenz set the thing

to absorb static
electricity for one minute,

the bolt it fired out was huge.

So 100 years worth of minutes
would be bad.

If that contraption
fires off a bolt,

it could fry up
the whole Tri-City.

( gasps )

RON:
Okay, wait a minute.

We don't know that this thing

has been on all these years.

I mean, maybe somebody
found it and shut it off.

Jon searched and searched

but he never found the thing
to clear Mim's name.

WADE:
Uh, Kim,

adjusting for orbital variations
and leap years,

the Illuminator
will discharge today.

Seriously, what are the chances?

If it's absorbed 100
years worth of energy,

there's got to be
some way to track it.

Quit hogging the
spark rocks, buddy.

Get your head in the game, Ron.
This is serious.

( warbling )

That candy didn't spark
like that when you got it.

Some things are just meant to
stay a mystery.

( gasps )

The museum.

Another field trip?

You don't have much
going on in the
upper story,

do you, Spike?

The candy didn't work
at the museum

because the Electro-
whatchamajiggycallit thing

was sucking up
all the static electricity.

Wade, how much time
do you think we have left?

Hard to say exactly,

but it looks like
15 minutes... tops.

We have got to get
to the museum, fast!

Oh... Aah!

GUARD:
Whoa! Slow down!

So you think a power surge
from the exhibit

is going to destroy the city?

The Electrostatic Illuminator
that was stolen.

By your aunt.

She did not steal it.

I've got the proof right here.

Kim, family name,
or save the city?

Anyway, it's been
sucking up power
for 100 years.

I'm sure the Electrostatic
Illuminator is in this museum.

If we're going to find it
in time, we need your help.

Hmm. Sorry.
It's not in our exhibit.

( beeping )

Good news, Wade?
No.

The scanners are detecting
a surging energy core

but it's interfering
with my equipment.

I can't pinpoint it.

( clock chimes )

We only have ten minutes.

Let's review what we know.

That's where Mim was
when she got the case...

This is where they were

when Mim almost fell.

( both gasp )

So, if it fell from the top...
The taco stand!

I can't believe Jon
wouldn't have looked there.

Tacos?!
It's a burger stand.

This picture was taken
after that day.

The taco stand must've gone
out of business.

Real pioneers are never
celebrated in their time.

Did you say taco stand?

( Rufus whistles )

Over here!

Where is it? Where is it?

Is it there?

RON:
Found it.

That's not the
Electrostatic Illuminator.

Oh. Right, yeah. I was looking
for 100-year-old hot sauce.

This stuff's got to pack
a punch now.

( gasps )

It's in the taco.

WADE:
Kim, be super careful.

Any tampering with the internal
mechanism will set it off.

There's got to be some way
to disable it.

I haven't figured
that part out yet.

No worries; I'm sure we've
got a whole 60 seconds left.

Actually, 55 seconds.

Yeah, I got nothing.
Rufus?

Uh-uh.

30 seconds.

( click and electronic whoosh )

Huh?

( whoosh and rumbling )

( evil laughter )

No way!

( console beeps )

I have succeeded where
my ancestor failed!

Yeah, what are the chances
that he'd swoop in

and save us at the last minute?

The staggering power
of the Electrostatic
Illuminator is mine!

Wait a minute...
Wait, wait, wait.

Since when do you win?

I guess I better
return the favor.

There must be a catch.

Hey!

( both grunting )

( whizzing )

( sobbing ):
Kim Possible!

You think you're all that.

But you're...

Ah!

You... You saved us.

It's a hero thing.

Oh, this is awkward.

We must never speak of it again.

Fair enough.

This whole thing is weird.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

It's almost
like a strange dream.

( snoring )

Stoppable, Possible... come on!

The exhibit's not that boring.

Wow.

I can't believe
I just zoned out like that.

I can't believe the dream I had.

About our ancestors?

At the expo?

And Drakken and Shego too?

So we had the exact same dream?

Can't get
much weirder than that.

MAN:
Heads up!

No way.

I'm going to have to say, way.

Sorry about that, folks.

Just bringing in
the new exhibit.

Um, what was that dude's name?

Beats me.

Oh, that was the famous
young gladiator, Ronacus.

Okay, I mean, come on!

There's got to be a connection.

Mm-mm. I'm standing by
my "no way."

Well, Ronacus the Gladiator

not only battled for survival,

but to defeat
the evil Drakkus Maximus.

Some say that this mysterious
masked warrior

was the true key to the many
victories of Ronacus.

Sounds about right.

Hey, who got the big statue?

Uh, uh, boo-ya.

Whatever.

Go on.

CURATOR:
Well, the evil Drakkus Maximus

was bent on conquering...