Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 2, Episode 29 - Triple S - full transcript

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( Rufus grunts )

Okay, I've been studying
the dating habits

of Middleton's
most desirable females.

Rufus, the visual aids, please.

A distinct pattern emerges.

I'm guessing this pattern
doesn't include you.

Correct!

It does, however, involve:

the captain of the
basketball team,

the captain of
the football team,

the captain of the judo team.



Thus leading to my
groundbreaking conclusion:

"Girls Dig Guys
Who Play Sports."

Mm-hmm!

I could've saved you
a lot of time on that one.

It's so simple!

All I need to do
is become a jock!

It's my one-way ticket
to Hottieville.

You don't even play
a sport, Ron.

I mean...

what team could you
possibly try out for?

All of them!

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪



♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm... ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

You're not actually going
to try out for every team...

are you?

Yeah, but I hope
fencing's first,

'cause these tights really itch.

Good news, Junior.

I have hired
a financial consultant.

Meet Vincent Wheeler.

Call me Vinnie.
How ya doin', kid?

Whoa! That's some grip
you got there.

You work out, I bet.

What do you bench... two bills?

Mr. Wheeler is going to
manage our enormous fortune,

so we can focus full-time
on our evil activities.

Mr. Wheeler, come on,
we're all family here.

Vinnie! Please!

Junior, show Mr. Vinnie
our financial portfolios.

But I was going
to practice my...

Now, Junior.

Hey, Junior, did you realize

all of your dad's holdings
are also in your name.

I hear words coming
out of your mouth

that mean nothing to me.

Let me lay it out for you:

all these numbers...

...make my head hurt.

Well, here's an idea, Slick.

You could just sign over
power of attorney to me.

Oh! More words I do not
understand.

You sign these papers
and I step in...

Bingo, bango, just like that...

It's all on me, burden lifted.

No more numbers, no more words
I do not understand?

And you know what, kiddo?

Why don't you just
go ahead and jot down

all of your bank
access codes while
you're at it.

There is only one objective:

that's to crush your opponent

until they go crying
home to mama.

Now let's have some fun
out there, people!

( whimpering )
This could get ugly.

That's right!

Uh-huh!

Who da man?

How you like me now?

I'm hot, you're not.

I'm hot, you're...

( player roars )

Ooh!
Ouch!

( Ron gibbering )

Ron, can you hear me?

I can't feel my legs.

Rufus, how many sports are there
at Middleton High?

( trilling loudly )

Whoa, whoa...!

Hi... Ugh!

Ooh, hey...

( laughing )

( buzzing )

( screaming )

( classical music playing )

( grunts )

WOMAN:
Here you go, mes amis.

One week's supply of Le Goop
hair product.

Pick a card, my sweet stuff.

( alarm beeping )
I'm sorry, monsieur,

the card is being denied.

This is impossible!

( beeping )

( beeping continues )

( bubbling )

Father, what is the meaning
of all this?

Are we moving into a bigger,
more extravagant home?

No, Junior.

Mr. Vinnie has
taken everything.

You signed it over to him...
Our entire fortune!

You have ruined us!

Ron... Ron?

( moaning )
Don't scare me
like that!

I had to grande-size
to wake you up.

( groans )

The jock dream is over, K.P.

The express train to Hottieville
left me standing at the station.

Don't take it too hard, Ron.

No one can say you're a quitter.

True.
You didn't stop

until you were rejected

from every sport
at Middleton High.

Wait... that didn't
come out right.

I need to drown my
sorrows in a Slurpster.

( yawns )

( phone rings )

What up, Wade?

Hey, Kim.
How's our Olympian?

He'll live.

More or less.

What's the sitch?

Rash of robberies...

Four in the last couple weeks.

And whoever it is,
they've got some serious moves.

Check the footage.

Hello, show-off.

Wait a sec, Wade.

Can you back up that last clip

and slow it?

Nice catch, Kim.

Let me do some
digital enhancing.

"Five, five, five."

That guy's got his stuff dialed!

Check the temper tantrum

and the inverted cinnamon
twisty roll!

Okay, you lost me when
you hit the baked goods
reference.

Those clips and tricks...

They're competition class.
Who is that?

I wish I knew.

He's our bad guy du jour.

Whoever he is, he's definitely
an action sports pro.

Those moves are right out
of the X Games.

The X Games, huh?

Monique was right, Kim.

These are the last four cities

on the Top Action Sports Tour.

They're also the sights
of all four of our robberies.

The tour ends this weekend
at the X Games.

Sounds like a good place
to start.

So all we need to do is find

a dude with "555" tatttoed
on the back of his neck.

I don't know.

It looks like a lot of necks.

Where do we start: bike stunt,
skateboard, Moto X?

First things first, K.P.

Rufus and I are gonna check out

the action snack-tion.

How's it rollin', ladies!

Not even a glance.

Is it that obvious I'm
athletically lacking?

Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!

How about some shade, pal?

You know how you burn...
hey, hey, hey!

( screaming )

( laughing )

Awesome!

Not... gonna... hurl...

Oop...

Whew! ( Gasps )

( screaming )

( screaming )

Whoa.

Check it out.

( screaming )

Whoa! That dude's shreddin'!

( screaming )

( crowd cheering and shouting )

I'm standing here with
the founder of a new sport

just debuted at the X Games:
Umbrella surfing.

Uh, no, actually,
that was an accident.

I didn't even mean...

( girls giggling )

That was totally the sickest
athletic expo I've ever seen.

Yes! Sick! Yeah.

I'm the sickest athlete
you'll see on the circuit.

Yo.

KIM:
If I was a daring
action sports bandit,

where would I be?

( crowd screaming )

Hey, look out!

( tires screeching )

Whoa, you almost got smashed.

What's up... I'm Ryan;
Ryan Nyquist.

Whew! Thanks, Ryan.

Kim Possible.

Are obstacles usually
that, um... extreme?

Accidents happen.

That was no accident.

Check out tall, dark and busted.

Ah...!

( shouts )

Sorry!

( gasps )

You're intense...
Even by my standards.

Story of my life.

Well, that's one down.

Umbrella surfing?!

So, guys, I'm working on a
little somethin'-somethin'

to add to my bag o' tricks.

What if... ooh.

What are you doing?

Oh, hey, K.P.

Just speaking a little
shred-onics

with my fellow athletes:

Bob Burnquist,
skateboarding king,

Dallas Friday, wakeboard maven,

and Trevor Vine, Moto X madman.

I'm sorry, did you say
"fellow athletes"?

Word, Kim.
I guess you missed

my new sport expo...
Umbrella surfing.

It's kinda, you know,
"the thing" right now.

I was busy getting crushed on...
By a giant pipe.

We have to find this guy, Ron,

before he tries again.

Chill, K.P.
I'm still on the job.

These three are clean.

No 555 in sight.

Well, that's the last of them.

Whoa, Ron... what's with
the fashion blindness?

Pretty sweet, huh?

It's from my new sponsor.

Hold up... someone is actually

giving you money
to endorse their equipment?

Not just equipment...
Mini-corn dogs, too!

Mmm! Corn dogs!

Kim, this jock thing is
even better than I dreamed!

I'm a phenom with the ladies!

What's up, Molly?

Let's chill later.

Katie, Hannah, call me.

You want?

Pass. I promised Monique

I'd score her a t-shirt.

Hi.

One medium size...
( gasps )

Kim Possible.

This one is on the house,
of course.

This is so many levels
of not right.

Why, hello!

Could it be that you
cannot resist watching Junior

in a high-action competition?

Competing?

You're an X Gamer?

No way.

You're not even in the program.

I refuse to pose
for the program photograph.

The lighting did not
do me justice.

The two of you can consider
yourselves busted.

Busted?
For selling T-shirts

and competing in the games?

We are just
poor common folk now.

Puh-leese.
Don't even play that with me.

It's true.
We lost all of our fortune.

And now what, you're
trying to steal it back?

No. We are working hard
to make an honest living.

You must understand.

Money has no meaning to us.

Now we're rich in moral fiber

rather than material
possessions.

Come, I'll show you.

Welcome to our paradise.

He went from owning his own
private island to this?

The island

was actually very impractical
in the monsoon season.

With our new simplistic life,
we want for nothing.

Please, come in.

Here are the vegetables
we grow ourselves.

Here is where Junior
spins the cotton fiber

to make our clothing.

And here is where I

collect the rainwater
that we drink.

It is a simple life,
but it is a good life.

And you don't miss being

billionaire super villains
at all?

I thought I might, but I do not.

Would you like a cookie?

I churned the butter myself.

JUNIOR:
None for me, Father.

I am preparing for my big
bike stunt competition.

Well, I guess we
better be getting back.

But, uh...

thanks for the T-shirt.

I don't know, Ron.

They actually seemed happy.

Come on, K.P., how do you buy
happiness without money?

( phone rings )
Hey, Wade.

What up, Kim?

You find our guy yet?

No love.
Anything on your end?

I found a connection
between all of the robberies.

All of the companies hit
are owned by one man...

Vincent Wheeler a.k.a. Vinnie.

Keep talking.

Get this...

Wheeler was a financial advisor.

He got all his money by stealing
it from his rich clients

including...

The Seniors.

Bingo.

It is Junior.

He's trying to steal
back the family fortune.

The bike stunt expo.

Oh! Easy, ladies!

Plenty of Ron to go around.

Here you go, man.
Time to rock and roll.

Make us proud, bro.

( yelling )

Oh, whoa! Hey!

Wait a sec! ( Yells )

It's time for the new
sports exhibition.

Are you amped?!

What? Wait.
N... hold up.

A professional athlete
needs his rest.

You know, get in the zone?

I'll be watching.

But, I...

can't...!

Junior, stop!

( crowd booing )

Ooh, not pretty.

( yelps )

He's... He's terrible.

( whimpers )

How did I score?

Nice try, Junior.

I know you're just
tanking this event
to try and throw me off.

Throw you off what?

I've seen the tapes
of the robberies, Junior.

I know you've got
pro-caliber X Game skills.

I welcome that,

and any other compliments
you might have for me.

But I have no idea what
you're talking about.

Really?

Then explain this!

Oops.

Why are you stretching
out my jersey?

Just making sure you
didn't cover that tattoo

with makeup or something.

Ha! I never wear makeup.

Well, perhaps
a little foundation.

Maybe some blush for ruddiness,

but nothing on my neck,
I assure you.

I don't understand.

Look, all I want to do
is make my father proud

by winning a gold medal
in the X Games.

You might have your work
cut out for you.

It's true.
When it comes to action sports,

I will never measure up to him.

To who? Senior?

He has taught me
everything I know.

He is an X Games expert.

Right. I'm sure he's the one
with the 555 tattoo.

Silly.

Why would Father
have a 555 tattoo?

He already has the triple-S's.

What?

S-S-S.

It stands for...

Señor Senior, Sr.

Yes.
You finished my sentence.

Wade, Kim here.

I went after the wrong
generation of Senior.

Kim, check this.

Vinnie Wheeler
is flying out a shipment

of uncut diamonds today

right over the X Games venue.

The sky surfing expo.
Thanks, Wade.

( yells )

( grunts )

Sorry.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Pardon me.

This'll just take a sec.

Huh?

Senior.

Ah, Kim Possible.

Did you not like the T-shirt?

What about your new simple life?

What about wanting for nothing?

Have you ever tasted
home-churned butter?

It is quite revolting.

I'm probably going
to regret this, but...

Well, well, well...

Hope you don't mind me
dropping in.

Oh! Talk about unfriendly skies.

( yells )

( gasps )

Have a nice flight.

( yells )

You should really consider

qualifying for the X Games,
Kim Possible.

Your moves are quite fresh.

How do you like this one?

I am only trying to get back
what was taken from me.

Not on my watch.

( gasps )

( yells )

Listen, Billy, buddy, I want you
to increase the reward money

to two billion.

This is personal, baby.

I want this guy caught.

( motor hums )

No date is worth this!

Whoo-hoo!

( screaming )

( screaming )

Hang on, Rufus!

Yee-haw!

( groans )

Oof! ( Groans )

A parachute would be nice
right now.

Or this will work.

( groaning )

( crowd booing )

Again!

Hey, how sick was that?

Ugh, not even.

You were totally curved.

Wait.

Don't you want to interview me?

What? For shortest
sports career ever?

Let's go, Mac.

Hey, guys.
Any suggestions?

Yep. Retire, man.

You know,
before you hurt someone.

Starting with yourself, dude.

( gasps )

Step aside, Junior.

I cannot allow you to turn in
my father.

Oh, you can't?

No, because I am going to do it.

But why, Junior, why?

To betray your own father.

Father, please.

I'm turning you in
for the reward.

Reward? You mean cash?

Crisp legal tender?

But of course.

I will use it
to break you out of prison

and buy back our island.

Ah, an excellent plan.

After all, you cannot buy
Le Goop hair care products
with moral fiber.

You've done well, Junior.

I am proud of you, my son!

Hey, you want to move tables?
It's kind of hot here.

No! No, umbrellas!

Oh, or not.

I can't believe I got one day
of jock-dom like that.

It's like getting one bite
of a queserito combo

and then having the whole
platter yanked away.

Ron, let me
spell this out for you.

Girls like guys who are
comfortable with who they are.

Embrace your Ron-ness

and just stop trying to be
something you're not.

You know something, Kim,
you might be right.

From now on, no more posing.

No more fronting.

I'm Ron Stoppable.

What you see is what you get.

And I'm not changing for anyone.

There you go.

Excuse me, but...
you're the guy

who stopped that thief, right?

Well, I...

We totally saw it
on the big screen.

It was so bad-ical.

You're, like, a hero.

Remember:
embrace the Ron-ness.

Listen, I don't know if "hero"

would really be the right word

to describe me.
I...

I think "crusading
crime fighter" might be

a more accurate term.

( groans )