Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 2, Episode 21 - Blush - full transcript

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And so, Kim Possible,

all you can do
is watch helplessly

as I launch my pollution machine
into the Earth's ozone layer.

And so, Kim Possible,

you have no choice

but to bear witness to the power
of my doomsday decimator.

And so, Kim Possible,
the time has come for you to...

( crashing )

Oh, come on! Time out.

I mean, I haven't even gotten

into my gloating yet,
for Pete's sake.



This is just

getting ridiculous.

I'll say.

I'm serious, Shego.

Kim Possible has spoiled
my plans for the last time.

Yeah. The last time
today, maybe.

We've been going
about this all wrong.

By "we"...

you do mean you, right?

We have to take
the fight to her.

I am putting a hold on all
take-over-the-world ventures

until we have eliminated
Kim Possible once and for all.

These are all teen magazines.

What are you planning to do...
Read her fashion horoscope?



( laughing )

Don't you see, Shego?

Kim Possible is a teenager.

These magazines provide
a direct portal

into the unfathomable mind
of the modern teen.

To defeat one's enemy,
one must first know one's enemy.

( crazed laughter )

We should pick up
some milk while we're here.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪

♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm... ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

RON:
An F minus?
What's with the minus?

You know a simple "F" would do.

I mean, isn't anyone worried

about damaging
my self-esteem around here?

I'll see you guys later.

Uh, Kim, are you

forgetting Latin?

No. I'm just gonna go this way.

You know, I don't get you, KP.

You're a straight-A student
and yet you can't grasp

the closest the path
from Chem to Latin.

Ah, call it the scenic route.

Hey, Kim.

Oh, hey, Josh.

I didn't see you there.

What's up?

Just looting
the old locker. You?

Just heading to Latin.

Caveat emptor.

I'm sorry?

It means, "Buyer beware."

I think it's the only
Latin I know.

Oh, yeah, that's
Latin all right.

Wait, isn't Latin, like,

on the other side of the school?

Yes, but I just, you know,
I had to pick up the thing

from the guy at the place first.

Right.

Hey, um, Kim...

Uh-huh.

I was wondering...

( bell rings )

Aah, I gotta jet.
I can't be late

for gym again.
Check you later.

Right.

See ya.

Ooh!

Huh...
Oh, hi.

I forgot my... uh...

I was just...
tying... my...

See you later, Josh, bye.

DRAKKEN:
The secret to no-chip nails?

No. "Corey's
solo career...

Phat or Flat?"

Not remotely helpful.

Oh. Save me that

no-chip nails
article, would you?

( grunts )

Hey, you try keeping a manicure

while kung fuing it out
with teen heroes all day.

Nah, Kim Possible must
have a weakness.

Everyone has a weakness.

All we need to do is find it.

Huh. "What's you Shy Q?"

( laughing )

Shego, we're working here.

Or "Unlock the True You."

A personality quiz?

Number one.

"When I'm crushing hard
on someone,

("I let them know by,
A) A flirty email,

(B) romantic gifts?"

I don't know,
I'd probably employ

some kind of mind-control
device on them.

Charming. I'll check "Other."

Number two: "My most
embarrassing moment happened

when..."

I don't have the faintest.

Oh, puh-leeze.

How about just last week

when Kim Possible gave you
that flying kung fu wedgie

and you were all,
like, "Shego, help me, help me"?

Or there's that time...

Silence!

There will be no more talk
of embarrassing moments.

All right, but
check out these features.

"My most humiliating
moment ever."

"Embarrassment Central."

"I could have died
from embarrassment."

Let me see that.

"Could have died
from embarrassment."

Hmm... That's it.

That's it, Shego!

What is?

Embarrassment.

The soft, white underbelly
of the teen ego.

Ew.

KIM:
I'm telling you,

I was this close
to Josh Manke asking me out.

You can't beat me
at my own game, Rufus.

I haven't caused
a nacho-valanche since '97.

Frankly, I find the
whole "dating" thing

to be overrated.

Who would subject
themselves to that?

Those of us who can
actually get dates.

If the bell to Latin
had rung like

five milliseconds later.

Latin?

So, that's where you've been
slinking off to after Chemistry.

Caveat emptor.

He was going to ask me.

I could see it in his eyes.

( screams )

The winner.

So he takes you to dinner.

You two see a movie.

Big tap-dancing whoop.

We do that stuff
together all the time.

This is different, Ron.

We're talking about
a real date with Josh Manke.

I want it to be perfect.

Have you ever noticed
that "Manke"

is but one vowel away
from "monkey"?

I'm not implying anything.

It's just something
to think about that's all.

Manke... Monkey. Hmm...

And I'll say no more.

This serum is

derived from pollen of the rare
Amazonian Aurora orchid.

When it makes contact
with the skin,

it concentrates
the human blushing mechanism.

Anytime my teen foe feels
embarrassment or humiliation,

the serum will cause a desire
to disappear to come true.

She will literally vanish

before our eyes.

Question 32.

"You feel prettiest in...

(A.) pink, B.) purple..."
Definitely green.

You have to admit,

they sound a lot alike.

A lot, a lot alike.

Ron, will you let
the Manke-monkey

conspiracy die already?

I'm begging you.

Hey.

Did you see that?

See what?

I don't know.

Nothing I guess.

( evil laughter )

So, what now?

Haven't you been reading, Shego?

The mall is an ideal venue
for teenage embarrassment.

We just sit back
and watch the show.

( gasps )

KIM:
It's Josh.

Wait, I should bail.

No, he's probably
seen me by now.

I should just act natural.

No. I-I'll take the escalator

and then make my entrance
from the health food store,

so he'll think...

Whoa!

Hey!

Kim?

Smooth entrance, Kim.

Very subtle.

Josh, I-I'm so sorry.

I tripped and I was trying to...

( gasps )

Kim!

I knew destroying Kim Possible

would be a hoot, but
this is simply delish.

( gasps )

Hmm?

( shrieks )

( shrieking )

RON:
Hey, Kim, wait up!

Are you okay?

That was nasty.

Ron, something critical
is happening to me.

Look at this.

Yeah, I'm no doctor,

but you might want

to get that checked out.

WADE:
Now just hold very still.

Okay, Rufus.

And scan complete.

Compiling data now.

You said this started
right after lunch, right?

Check out this feed from Bueno
Nacho's security camera.

Drakken.

Got it. According
to body-temperature readings,

Drakken's rigged it
so that every time you blush,

cue the disappearing act.

What does it mean?

I'm turning invisible?

Well, that doesn't sound so bad.

It's kind of cool, actually.

Sorry, guys, but it's
more serious than that.

If the transformation becomes
complete, Kim will be gone.

Gone? Gone like how?

Gone like gone... as in forever.

Kim, you can embarrass yourself

right out of existence.

The good news is,
I've isolated the cause...

The pollen of the Aurora
orchid flower.

It's only found

in the remote regions
of the Amazon jungle.

Another dose of pollen
should negate the effect.

Quest time. Come on, Rufus.

Oh, yeah!

Let's go.
No way.

What if you barf on the plane
or get gum stuck on your shoe?

You have to stay right here and
avoid embarrassment at any cost.

Oh, come on.

If I can do anything,

I can keep myself
from getting embarrassed.

Totally mind over matter.

Sorry, too risky, KP.

I mean, if it were me.

You what?

If I got hit by Drakken,
it wouldn't matter.

How so?
Oh, I don't
get embarrassed.

Ever?
Not that I
can remember.

But what about the time
you lost your pants?

Times. Too many
to count, my friend.

And did I blush?

I did not.

Hate to admit it,
but he's right.

You're grounded.

( sighs )

( groans )

KIM:
Okay, blinds closed.

Doors locked. Computer off.

No embarrassment.

No embarrassment.

Oh, wait.

The phone.

( phone ringing )

Hello?

Kim, it's Josh.

Josh, look I'm-I'm
so sorry about your shirt.

Kim, I just wanted
to see if you're okay?

I'm fine... for the most part.

Listen, I... know this
is kind of... last second,

but... do you want to hang out
tonight? I don't know...

Yes. I mean no.

I mean yes.

I want to, but, uh, yes.

Yes, yes.

I'm sorry, is that your way
of saying yes or no?

The answer is definitely yes.

Just give me a couple
of minutes to get changed, okay?

Hold up once
you get to the dock.

I'll be right there to meet you.

To meet us? You? Really?

I figured you could
use some backup.

Besides, it's time I got some
experience in the field.

Ron, Rufus.

Wade, I must say it's a pleasure

to finally
meet you in the flesh.

Meet the Wadebot XR prototype.

Okay, not flesh per se.

Let's roll.

( straining )

How are we doing on time?

As long as Kim stays in her
room, we should be cool.

( doorbell chimes )

We'll get it!
We'll get it!

Don't even think
about it, tweebs.

Hi, Kim.
Hey, Josh.

You ready?

( kissing noises )

Let's ride.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

I'll be home by 10:00.

Just in case.

Okay, so if she
gets home by 10:00,

she'll be on her computer

doing the diary
spill by about...

10:01!

So we hack into
the diary by 10:02.

No good.
Why no good?

She'll be up all night writing
gushy stuff about Josh.

Oh, right. The earliest
we can get the dirt

will be tomorrow morning.

Unless...

We spy.

Hoo-sha!

I hope you're hungry.

Ravenous.

Sorry. It's a little
chilly in here. Brrr!

Table for two, please.

( jaunty music playing )

We need to make it another six
or seven miles downriver.

It should...

Rapids!

Rapids? They're not on the map.

No. They're right
in front of us!

( screaming )

( screaming )

( typing )

We made it.

How do you like me now,
Mother Nature?

Who's your daddy?

Who's your daddy's daddy?

Uh-oh!

( gasps )

That's not on the map either.

( all screaming )

It feels good to get out
of my room once in a while.

I'm serious.
It's the mix of the hot

and salty, and cold and sweet.

Is Josh doing what
I think he's doing?

Dipping his fry into his shake?

What does Kim see in this freak?

Try it.

A french fry
dipped in a milkshake.

Josh Manke,
culinary trailblazer.

Huh, he's kind of cute.
I approve.

What are you,
her sister all of a sudden?

We're trying
to vanish Kim Possible

from the face of the Earth.
Remember?

One heaping helping
of embarrassment?

Coming right up.

( scuffle )
( yells )

Okay, okay. Okay,
now it's your turn.

What is your most deep,
dark, disgusting food combo?

No way. Not until
I know you way better.

I...

Oops! Excuse me, Josh.

This is so embarra... Oh, no!

( raspberry )

No! No!

Josh, I'm so sorry.

It was an accident.

Mmm! This
is really getting good!

This valley is the only place
on Earth

where the Aurora orchid grows.

See if you could set it
down there, Wade.

That looks like a safe spot.

( roaring )
( screaming )

Okay, maybe "safe" wasn't
exactly the right word.

( roaring ferociously )

( menacing roar )

( growling )

Hang tight, guys.

I've got this covered.

( roaring )

( screaming )

Initiating
parachute measures now.

Oh, Wade, we're
free-falling
off a cliff!

This is no time
for "Oops!"

My bad. I never got around to
actually installing the chute.

It's sitting here in my closet.

No!

Oh!

( grunts )

Ya!

( glass shattering )

Hey, um... I'm sorry
about all that.

That's cool.
How about we get out of here?

Maybe catch a movie.

A movie sounds perfect.

In the darkest theater
we can find.

Rats! She's on to us.

Check, please.

( screaming )

( grunting )

( grunting and groaning )

Hey!

( crickets chirping )

( men fighting noisily
and weapon lashing on-screen )

How about I have her
sit on some gum?

That should do it.

Relax and enjoy the show, Shego.

I've brought in the experts
to finish the job.

Experts?

( gasps )

These ninjas have been trained

since birth in the art

of inflicting humiliation.

( screams )

Embarrassment ninjas?

Are you kidding?

I guess, in their field,

it pays to specialize.

Now go get her.

( gasps )

KIM:
Embarrassment ninjas.

What?

I said, let's move closer.

I'm going to go for popcorn.

Be right back.

( karate yells on-screen )

What did I miss?

I thought embarrassment ninjas

were supposed
to be, like, the best.

Amateurs.

Nice work, Rufus.

Wade, check it out.

We're home free.

Wade?

No! Wade, hang in there, buddy.

Just listen to the sound
of my voice.

It's going to be okay.

It was his first mission.

He was so young!

Stay with me, pal.

Leave him.

No, Rufus.
No one gets left behind.

Not on my watch.

( phone beeps )

Ron, I'm fine.

Get back to the flower already.

All right.
( crashing )

You want to go for a walk?

Sounds nice.

( Kim yells )

Hey, watch it!

Direct hit!

Score!

I'm fine.

And not embarrassed.

Not embarrassed in the least.

( gasps )

Come on, Ron.

All Kim needs to do

is get a whiff of pollen
from the flower,

and that should do the trick.

What's the use, Rufus?

We're hundreds of miles
from any civil...

( jet engine roaring )

Free peanuts, here we come!

Oh! Peanuts!

( dog barking in distance )

What are you doing?

Uh... I was going
to hold your hand.

Uh... can't.
First date, you know.

Okay. I respect that, I guess.

Just a few more doses
of humiliation,

and Kim Possible should
be gone for good.

You didn't happen
to borrow those binoculars

from the embarrassment ninjas,
by any chance?

Yes. Why do you ask?

Oh, uh... um... no reason.

Hey, check it out.

Josh, this is amazing.

You did it, didn't you?

Yeah. Yeah, oh, me and some
of the neighborhood kids.

It was all tagged
with graffiti before.

It's beautiful.

Here you go, Kim.

One rare, endangered
Amazonian orchid for... Kim?

Blinds down. Computer off.
Phone...

Caller I.D. Caller I.D.

Manke.

This was fun tonight.

What's going on?

No!

Not that.

Kim, is that you taking a bath?

Kim?

Talk to me, Wade.

I'm picking up thermal scans

from a floating head
in Middleton Park.

That's probably her, right?

Hang on, Kim!

This is the weirdest date
I've ever been on.

( gasping )

Tweebs!

Hey, Kim, how come
you're just a head?

Yeah. Is that like
full-blown cooties or something?

Home. Now.

I'll destroy you two later.

But if that was Jim and Tim,
then where are...?

( kiaiing )

Ahh! Ooh!

What's up? Show's over?

DRAKKEN:
Yes, she's just a head.

Finish her!

Give her the pimple punch!

Pimple punch?

Pimple punch?

( gasps )

( coughing )

Oh, you got to be kidding.

That is... Oh, my!

Hey, there you are.

What's going on?

What's with the cape?

Long story.

No. It's cool.

( sneezing )

Josh, wa-wait.

( sneezes )

( sneezing )

Bless you.

Come on.
What is the big secret?

Okay. You promise
you won't laugh?

Yeah. Cross my heart.

I like to put marshmallows

on hot dogs, okay?

Are you happy now?

Marshmallows?
Are you for real?

That's, like,
totally embarrassing.

Yeah, but I can live with it.

Do you know what
this night has been?

Yes. Perfect.