Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 2, Episode 20 - The Full Monkey - full transcript

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RON:
So, it's picture day?

What's the big?

No big.

That's where you're wrong.

It's the biggest.

What do you think?

Seen it too much.

Mm-hmm.

Kimmy, great news.

Nana made you
a special dress
for picture day.

Um. Oh. Uh... great!



( chuckles )

Can't wait
for the big cheer-off.

Tomorrow, we are going to wipe

those snotty Lowerton Lemurs
off the court.

( howling )

You know, Bonnie's
been circulating a
"ban the dog" petition.

The Mad Dog
cannot be caged, leashed...

Or housebroken.

That game was
in triple overtime.

I couldn't leave the court.

I got a little excited,
and, well, accidents happen.

Let's focus on my picture
day issues, please.

Kimmy, the Nana dress is cute.

Mom, let's review.



That was your first day
with the braces.

You were still
getting used to them.

( laughs )

I forgot about that one.

Slight booger problem.

Got to check for bats
in the cave.

See? I have had a bad
run of school pictures.

This year, that changes.

( beeping )

Hey, Wade, what's the sitch?

Monkey Fist has escaped,
and he's been spotted in China.

No, no, no.

Not monkeys again!

Why does it always
have to be monkeys?

I can't stand monkeys.

Done?

Almost.

Curse you, monkeys!

Ahh!

Okay, I'm done.

Looks like we're going to China.

The picture day problem
will have to wait.

What problem?

Mom!

It would mean so much to Nana.

I'll think about it.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪

♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm... ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

Thanks for the ride,
Professor Ikari.

Oh, Kim!
It's the least I could do,

after you saved
my cybergenetic tick.

Oh, it was no big.

Oh, except for the part where
you almost blew your nose.

You know, off your face.

Yum.

I only study real insects now.

Is that why you're
here in China?

Indeed. I am
investigating

the nutritional value
of common native species.

Ant soup, stir-fried beetles,

roasted grubs,
all quite plentiful

and rich in protein.

Yum.

Oh, no, thanks.

I'll stick with
these tasty treats.

They're great.

Spicy and...

and crunchy.

Hmm?

( grunts )

Hmm?

Oh, great Googly Moogly!

What is in my mouth?

Toasted chili peppers...

Oh, phew!

...and mountain
grasshoppers.

Delicious, aren't they?

( retching )
( gagging )

Ron? Maybe you should look
before you eat.

Crunchy and spicy

has never betrayed me
like this before.

( rattling )

Here we are, Kim.

Forbidden City Museum.

"Year Of The Monkey"?!

How much monkey
is one man supposed to take?

At long last!

The amulet of the Monkey King.

RON:
Ahem! Just one
little problem.

That doesn't belong to you.

Kim Possible. But how?

The stealth of the Ninja Monkeys
is legend.

How did you find us?

Too many 'nanners along the way.

Yeah. A guy could slip
on one of those bad boys.

Trippy? What have I told you

about on-the-job snacking?

No matter.
In a moment, I will become

the Monkey King
of the modern era.

Until then...

Monkey Ninjas, attack!

( screeching )

( yells )

( grunting )

( yells )

Who's the higher primate now?

( yells )

( yells )

At last, my transformation
will be complete.

Oops.

( groaning )

The amulet!

( groans )

Oh...

was this what you're after?

( groans )

I was to be the Monkey King!

And so I shall be!

( screeching )

K.P., you okay?

Yeah. Hey, what happened?

Uh...

Oh, man!

Kim...

that is sick and wrong.

( class bell rings )

♪ Whoa... ♪

( high-energy
techno music plays )

( sirens blaring )

( yawns )

( grunts )

In the way much?

The routine doesn't work

if you're not on point
in the final pose.

( yawning ):
Sorry, Bonnie.

I'm just a little tired...
and itchy.

Yeah, well, a little tired

isn't going to win
the regional cheer-off.

And as far as itchy? Ew!

RON:
Ladies, ladies...

sorry I'm late, but the
Mad Dog has arrived.

Oh, great!
The slobber hound is here.

Let's take a break.

Okay, you girls cool off.

The Ron man will be right here.

This thing is
fiercely irritating.

Well, you always
wanted a tattoo.

I did not.

Oh, right, that was me.

And I wanted it
right between my...

Ron. Too much info.

Oh, almost forgot.

Your mom dropped this off

for you.

Ugh. Not the Nana dress.

Better put it on.
Pictures start soon.

No, thank you.

This year, I want to look like
a normal human being.

Then you'll want to do something

about that thing
on your forehead.

What thing?

( screams )

Great G!

It's the picture day curse.

( groans )

This cannot be happening.

Hey, K.P., you forgot
your... ( yells )

Fuzzy caterpillar on your face!

Please. It's bad enough
without you freaking out.

No, no.

The unibrow works on you.

Uh-hmm!

Right.

Guys love the brow.

Kim, I need to talk to you.

Good, 'cause
we've got an ugly
sitch here, Wade.

How ugly?

This ugly.

( choking ):
Uh-oh.

Uh-oh, what?

Well, I checked out
that monkey amulet.

Turns out that Monkey Fist was
on to something.

Legend holds
that whoever wears the amulet

becomes the Monkey King.

Love the king part.
Not so hot on the monkey.

Actually, it's more monkey
than king.

Great, I'm going to be a monkey.

Can't you stop it?

Well, I'm not really sure.

That's not
what I wanted to hear.

Don't worry. I'll get to work
and let you know

as soon as I've got something.

Let's move it, people!

Time for student photos!

Stoppable, none of your punk
hand gestures this time.

What? It was a thumbs up.

Sit on your hands, just in case.

Possible, I see
you're holding up

your picture day tradition.

Maybe if I pluck.

( yells )

( screeching )

Pictures, people, let's move!

MAN:
Welcome to Middleton.

How long will you be staying
with us, Lord Fist?

As long as it takes
to get what I came for.

( luggage wheels squeaking )

Uh, sir,
we don't actually allow pets.

But in this case, I suppose
we could make an exception.

Smart human.
Would you like

a single or a double?

Do you have a dojo?

We have a gym and spa.

I'll take it.

So, uh, are you in town
on business?

Yes.

Monkey business.

( half-whispers ):
All clear.

( cackles )

This is great.

I'm about to go full monkey.

Hey, Kim.

Or full Manke!

Josh!
Hey, is that
a good book?

This? Oh, yeah.

Boy, it's fascinating.

Wow, the dictionary.

Yeah, I haven't read it yet.

I figure I'll wait
for the movie.

You know K.P.!
Always studying.

In fact, she's late
for study hall.

Okay. Good luck
at the cheer-off tonight.

The cheer-off?
Like this?!

Sure, the crowd'll
go ape for you.

Oh. Sorry.

Hold it right there, you two.

Why aren't you getting

your photos taken?

Oh. Mr. Barkin.
We were just on our way.

Oh. And is this
the scenic route?

Actually, Mr. B.,
this is the
scenic route...

( screeching )

Where'd Possible go?

Uh... hair and makeup?

Well, it couldn't hurt.

Phew.

Okay, Kim, coast is clear.

You got... ( yells )

Ki-Kim?

Huh?

Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

She's gone the full monkey!

Huh?

Okay, stay calm.

( screeching )

Ugh!

( yells )

My best friend is...

...my worst nightmare!

( growls )

( beeping )
Huh?

Hey, Kim. I...
Oh, no!

Wade! Kim's gone over
to the monkey side.

Okay, don't panic.

Don't panic?

She's a monkey!

A fur-covered tree beast!

I'm working on a way
to separate Kim's genetic matter

from the amulet.

Wade! You're talking science.

This is magic!

Evil, stinking monkey magic!

You can't fight magic
with science!

I can, too.

No, you can't.

Can, too!

Cannot!

Can, too!

Cannot!

Can, too!

Cannot!

Can, too, infinity.

Oh, he got me
with the infinity clause.

I'm going to need a DNA sample.

DNA?

Ron, just get me
a sample of her hair.

Well, plenty of that here.

You heard him, K.P.
We just need some hair.

Ow. Oh.

My face!

Oh! Ow!

Would you please cooperate?

( screeching )

( yells )

( crashing )

( grunting )

( car alarm blaring )

( crash )

( chuckling )

So, Kim Possible...

tea?

How about a steaming cup
of "What's going on?"

Oh, as if you don't know.

All I know is
thanks to that amulet,

I'm living a monkey nightmare.

A nightmare?
It's my dream.

You don't deserve the
power of the amulet!

Yes, I'm an ungrateful monkey.

Don't worry.

The amulet won't be
your problem much longer.

I'd like to say
it won't hurt a bit,

but that wouldn't be truthful.

( chuckling ):
Bravo!

A valiant effort, indeed.

You didn't think I'd actually
allow you to leave?

You are not a master
of Tai Ching Pek Wa, as am I.

But the Monkey King amulet
has given you much.

Like a tail?

And now, I plan to take
what should have been mine...

painfully.

There.
That wasn't so bad, was it?

Okay, so it was bad,
but it's for your own good, K.P.

Mission accomplished.

Hair sample ready to go.

Place it on the sensor pad

and I'll get started
analyzing it.

Hopefully, this will give me
the info I need.

I'll make sure

Kim doesn't run off.
And now we wait.

Oh...

What if Wade can't fix this?

What happens
if Kim's like this forever?

Well, if this is the new you,
so be it.

There are worse things
than turning into a monkey.

I can't think of any,
but I will.

I don't care if
you're a stinking monkey

on the outside, Kim,

inside you're still
my best friend.

Kim Possible, you're going
to be the best, hairiest you

you can be.

Okay, smile pretty
for the camera.

It's an ape.

Technically, she's a monkey.

Apes don't have tails.

Whatever.
I get paid either way.

Have to admit, K.P.,
aside from the monkey thing,

I bet this will be
your best school picture ever.

But next time, let's not throw
stuff at the photographer, okay?

Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.

Don't look, K.P.
Just walk away.

( giggles )

Oh, Josh, you are so funny.

Told you not to look.

I don't know what
Josh could possibly see
in Bonnie over you.

Except, you know, she's not full
of bananas and covered in fur.

( screeches )

But that doesn't mean

you don't have feelings,
too, right?

Mm-hmm.

You may be a monkey,
but you're still a human being.

They can't treat you
like that. Now, come on.

Yo, Josh, man.

I got someone here I think
you'd rather be talking to.

Total rudeness.

We were dishing.

Bonnie, no offense,

but you're way
out of your league.

Excuse me?

My man Josh here has had
his eye on this little lady

for quite some time.

Dude, are you trying
to set me up with a monkey?

Uh-huh.

Uh... hmm.

Okay, major weirdness.
I'm out of here.

See you tonight at
the cheer-off, Josh.

Oh, to you, she's just a monkey.

To me, she's a great friend
and a beautiful person.

I'm just sorry you can't see it.

( Ron screams )

( screeches )

( screeching laughter)

"No pets."

No offense, K.P.,
but maybe I ought to just go in

and tell your mom by myself.

You know,
break it to her gently.

You're a... you're
a remarkable person, K.P.

I mean...
never mind, I got to go.

( knocking on glass )

Sorry to bother you
at work, Mrs. Dr. P.

Well, not like
I was doing brain surgery.

You weren't?

What's wrong?
It's Kim.

Is she hurt?
No, no. She's feeling, uh...

fit as a chimp.

Fit as a chimp?

I've never heard
that saying before.

Well, you better get used to it.

Kim's a monkey!

Ron, you want me to open you up?

Make sure everything's,
uh, fit as a chimp?

I'm serious! Look.

She was just here, I swear.

Okay, Ron,

I've got a patient

catching a chill
on his frontal lobe.

But...!

Mrs. Dr. P!

Okay, Kim, maybe you're right.

If all goes well,
she'll never have to know.

( grunting )

Any chance of you
letting me out of here?

Didn't think so.

( grunts )

( clanking )

Great!
My tail's all thumbs.

Love to stay, but I don't
want to be a monkey forever.

You don't know
how lucky you are.

But your luck
is about to change.

( cackling )

I was destined to be
the Monkey King.

According to the ancient text,

there is still one way

for me to achieve complete

and total monkeyosity.

Personally, I think you should
set your goals a little higher

on the evolutionary scale.

Jest if you wish,
but there is only one way

to part you from the amulet.

A very painful way.

Hello. How are
you doing?

What's with the ape?

I'm a monkey.
I have a tail.

Oh, yeah.
How much can you tail press?

We'll see.

( grunts )

Strong tail.

Doug! Stop her!

I had a dog that
ran away from me once.

It still hurts.
You know?

Has anyone seen Kim?

I mean, she is the
head cheerleader.

And the cheer-off
is about to start.

We won't stand a chance
without her on point.

Looks like Miss Perfect's
going to leave us hanging.

So typ.

Don't worry, K.P.

I'm sure Wade'll be able
to get you back to normal.

Yo, Wade.
Status report?

Wade?

Sorry.
I had a printer jam.

I'm afraid
I've got some bad news.

Bad? How bad?

Well, turns out
there's a 24-hour time limit.

If we don't change Kim back
in five minutes,

she'll be a monkey permanently.

You know what, Wade?
If that's so, it's okay.

I think Kim and I
have proven that our friendship

isn't just skin deep,
or fur deep.

Oh, Ron.

That's not Kim.
What?

The first sample
was from a real monkey.

A natural born monkey.

What?

It's a monkey?!

I spent the day
with a real monkey?

( yells )

Ew, monkey!

( screeching )

No, you're right.

We had a good day, didn't we?

Ron.

Aah! Kim! You're a...!

Yes, I know, I'm a banana-eating
tree swinger.

( squeals and moans )

Wait. How do I know you're
Kim and not a real monkey?

A talking real monkey?

Anything's possible.

Monkey Fist tried
to get the amulet back.

And, by the way,
thanks for noticing I was gone.

But I thought he...
she... it was you.

Please. You'd never catch me

wearing that dress.

( retches )

Talk to me, Wade.
I need a DNA sample.

Some hair will work.

How's this?

We'll know soon, because
we're running out of time.

Time till what?

Until you're a monkey
permanently.

Can this get any worse?

Yes.

Hyah!

Hah!

( groans ):
Oh!

Kim! Run!

We'll meet up in the gym.

( screeches )

Ron Stoppable.

We have both experienced
the mystical monkey power

of Tai Ching Pek Wa.

Oh!

But I am a monkey master
and you are not.

( screeching )

Chippy, what are you doing
here with these humans?

Chippy? That's your name?

Uh-huh.

( beeps )
I'm almost ready.

Where's Kim?
Um, I'll find her.

I'll never forget you, Chippy.

Out of my way,
you monkey traitor.

Now, to claim
my Monkey King crown!

Welcome to
the regional cheer-off

between last year's champion,
the Middleton Mad Dogs,

and their arch rivals,
the Lowerton Lemurs!

And there's Lowerton's mascot!

( crowd cheering )

And there's... some guy.

How we doing, Wade?

I'm just about ready.

I'm going to route
the DNA sequencer

through the communicator's
data port.

So you just have to
point at Kim and zap.

Point and zap, got you.

And look! Lowerton brought
another lemur mascot!

A lemur?!

I've never even
been to Madagascar.

Hmph. Lemur, indeed.

( funky dance music plays )

ANNOUNCER ( chuckling ):
Oh, this is great.

The two mascots are performing
a tumbling routine

and the crowd loves it.

Tick-tock, Wade.

All set, zap away.

Huh? Wade!

I'm pointing
but there's no zapping.

Sorry, wrong cable connector.

ANNOUNCER:
Incredible! Kim Possible,

the Middleton head cheerleader,

has KO'd Lowerton's mascot.

It worked! No more itching.

And Middleton wins
the cheer-off!

Oh, what a spectacular display.

My, my.

Glad you could make it.

So not the drama.

( groans )

That's it, buddy.

You're in violation of code.

Impersonating a mascot.

Lemur, ha!

Where's your tail, lemur?

Take him away!

I am a monkey master!

Not a lemur!

Good to have you
back, K.P.

Glad to be back.

Where's your little
monkey friend?

( gasps )

( banging )

Hey, you're okay.

( screeching )

You seem to have gotten over
your monkey issues.

K.P., I think
this is the beginning

of a beautiful friendship.

At least this year

I avoided another
picture day disaster.

Thank goodness I wasn't
anywhere near a camera.

Uh, yeah. About that...

Mom!

What is that picture doing
on the wall?

What's that, honey?

Oh, well,
the boys just loved it.

It's your best
school picture yet.

Hoo-sha!

Very funny, tweebs.

Well, you have to admit, Kimmy,

the Nana dress isn't your look

but Chippy pulls it off.

( gasps, groans )