Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 1, Episode 8 - Mind Games - full transcript

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( techno-pop playing )

( girls yelling )

BONNIE:
Too bad, Kim.

I think we should complain
to whoever came up

with that fussy routine.

Oh, that was you, wasn't it?

That "fussy routine"
is going to win

the regionals tomorrow, Bonnie...

If you can remember it.

Okay again.
From the top.

Excuse me, Kim...



Not now, Ron.

Uh, K.P.,
kind of importante.

Mucho busy.

Give me a "K" give me
an "I" give me an "M."

What's that spell?

Ron...

( imitates buzzer )

Sorry, but thanks for playing.

What?

You'll never guess
who needs your help.

Dr. Drakken?

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪



♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm... ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

Dr. Drakken?
Why? What? How?

Actually, ma'am,
I'm Private Cleotus Dobbs

United States armed forces.

It's Drakken's evil twin.

Ron, Drakken's already evil.

Okay, I'm confused.

This Drakken fella, he used
some kind of big ol' machine

switched my brain with his.

It wasn't natural.

Wait. His brain is in your body?

I got to go.

The pretty girl that hits...
She's a-coming.

She's gonna...

Wade?!

Working on it.

Like it's not bad enough
that the regionals are tomorrow

now this extreme weirdness.

Stress not, K.P.

You'll handle it.

That's what you do.

You make my life
sound like cake.

Let's see... you're smart,
athletic, pretty and popular.

Sounds pretty cakey to me.

Okay, flip mode.

Playing video games,
watching wrestling

and downing snackage.

It must be brutal being you.

Trying the demands
of raising Rufus
as a single parent.

Not to mention

the pressures
of maintaining
my image.

Okay, so I don't exactly
have an image yet

but I'm working on it...

And frankly, it's exhausting.

Couldn't regain contact
with Private Dobbs.

Frequency's jammed.

Background check?

Everything is classified.

The only thing I could dig up
was this picture.

I don't get it.

Yeah, why would Drakken

want to be in that body?

( mechanical voice ):
Private Cleotus Dobbs

identity confirmed.

( evil laughter )

And on top of everything else

There's tutoring, swim team

the yearbook committee.

Otherwise known
as having a social life.

Excuse me, but I called ahead
for the kosher meal.

( beeping )

What's the sitch, Wade?

I finally traced the call

from the guy in Drakken's body,
but it's weird.

Weirder than a guy
in Drakken's body?

Good point.

Anyway, it looks like
the call came

from the middle
of the Grand Canyon.

Thanks for lift, Baxter.

My pleasure, little lady.

Least I could do to pay you back

for helping Buttercup
in her time of need.

That emergency delivery
of her foal?

In the dark.
In the rain.

In a landslide.

Was no big.

( donkey snorting )

Get along, little donkey,
get along.

( brays )

( yelling )

Whoa!

BAXTER:
How 'bout we trade?

Buttercup here's a sweetheart.

( chuckling )

Oh, well, I mean if you insist.

( braying )

( yelling )

( beeping )

KIM:
This is it.

That's Drakken's lair?

Rufus, quit climbing up my leg.

Hmm?

Oh!

Get off! Get off! Get off!

( sighs )

Mr. Dumb Luck.

Not dumb luck, Kim...
Dumb skills.

Yeah.

( electronic
elevator music playing )

( door dings )

Have we been in
this lair before?

They all start
to look alike
after awhile.

Brain switch machine.
Most definitely.

DOBBS:
Kim! Kim!

Help! Help!

Help!

Kim Possible!

Look out!
Huh?

Rescue's over, Kimmy.

Sheego, so not.

My mama always taught me
to be polite to a lady.

Except when she
locks me in crate.

Ron.
All over it.

Don't let Drakken's body
get away.

( karate yell )

Uh-oh.

( electrical crackling )

( both yelling )

You're me?
You're me?

I'm you?
I'm you?

( Kim's voice ):
Oh, this is so wrong.

This cannot be happening.

( Ron's voice ):
I told you not

to get near the Brain Switcher.

No, you didn't.
Well, I was thinking it...

right before my
brain got switched!

Y'all think we ought
to get it in gear?

But we have to change back.

No time.

( weapons firing )

( whimpering )

( explosion )

( grunting )

Huh?

( smack )

( groan )

Ha.

You think I can just
let you stroll out

with Drakken's body?

Don't even mess with me.

You...

You got hit by Drakken's machine

and you two switched.

( laughs )

Oh, this is just too great.

Oh.

You say something.

Come on.

Bye bye.

( grunting )

Don't let them get to the...

( bell dings )

...elevator.

( clears throat )

( gulping )

This sure is mighty
tasty chow, ma'am.

I'm sorry. I just can't eat

sitting across the table
from Kimmy's arch nemesis.

Dad, I told you,
it's not really Dr. Drakken.

Just his body.

MOTHER:
I hear you, honey

but as a board-certified
neurosurgeon

I've got to say, it's just
not possible to swap brains.

Point taken, Dr. P.

But how else do you explain
my bare midriff?

( groans )

( chuckles )

Chasing bad guys,
switching brains.

High school sure has changed
since my day.

I want to switch
brains with you.

Who would know the difference?

That's the idea.

Cool.

( beeping )

What you got, Wade?

Let me talk to Kim.

Who do I look like?

Nice try, Brain Switch Boy.

Give me that.

There's been a security breach
at Private Dobbs' post.

Drakken.

Something's been stolen.

Something big.

Something top secret.

Jumping catfish,
the Neutronalizer!

You all weren't supposed
to hear that.

Uh, this isn't one of those

"I'd-tell-but-then
I'd-have-to-kill-you" deals

is it?

Well...

Uh...

You all been real nice.

Just forget
I ever said neutron...

Ooh, there I go again.

( laughs )

More bad news.

My scan shows

that Drakken's lair has been
abandoned.

Everything's gone.

Including the Brain Switch
Machine.

So, we're stuck like this?

All right! I'm going
to be popular!

You kids.

Careful around
the Neutronalizer.

You have no idea

what I had to go through
to get that.

( glass crashing )

That was marked "fragile."

Thanks to Kim Possible,
I had to move my lair...

again.

There's nothing wrong
with this time share.

Yo, Chief.

Where do you want this one

labeled "Brain Switch Machine?"

Oh.

Uh, put it in the den.

( phone ringing )

Carefully.

( glass crashing )

Hello.

No, this is not
Professor Dementor.

He moved.

Wait.

I didn't notice my body come in.

Scarred face, wild-eyed glare?

Didn't see it, Sport.

All I know... the truck's empty.

Sheego!

She took it, okay?

You let Kim Possible

destroy my lair

and take my body?!

You know, this body is
kind of cute when you're angry.

I want my body!

I'll kick the scanners
into overdrive.

In the meantime,
Private Dobbs
can stay here

for safekeeping.

What are you and Ron going
to do?

Until you find
Drakken and
his machine

we'll just have to deal.

What are you doing?

Your hair... it's so flippy!

Wade, hurry!

KIM'S VOICE:
And then you shift your weight

from you left foot
to your right foot

and hit a heel stretch
at the top.

And that's the routine.

Got it?
Yeah.

Can you do it?

No way.

Ron, this is the Regionals.

The whole squad is
depending on me...

uh, you.

That's major pressure.

Yeah. No, duh.

( fast-paced dance music plays )

I think I'm getting the hang
of this.

And I dig this wardrobe.

The breeze is quite refreshing.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Uh, let's get some...

What would you call it?

"Lunchage?"

Snackage, Kim.
Snackage.

Never lunchage.

That sounds just stupid.

Hey, you can't do that.

What did you say?

Um... um...

Huh?

( groans )

Hold it, Stoppable.

You know, you can't
come this way.

Yeah. D Hall's been
declared a "Loser Free Zone."

( hyena-like laugh )

Loser free.

Forgetting something?

My money.

What money?

You sound funnier

than usual, Stoppable.

Um... um...

( in deep voice ):
puberty.

( groans )

Hi, Bonnie.

You little freako.

( loud slap )

Ow!

Hi, Kim.

Can of corn.
Kim...

we need to decide on a font
for the yearbook cover.

Uh...

You're the only one we trust

to make a decision
everyone can live with.

Kim, are you
all prepared
for tutoring

at Middleton
Middle School
next week?

Huh?

Don't forget those banners

you promised to paint, Possible.

Deadline's Monday.

Kim... you are going
to do something

about your hair and makeup
before the Regionals.

What about the font?

The tutoring?

The Banners?

Kim.

Kim!

Kim.

Kim.
Kim!

Kim Kim.

Kim...

( school bell rings )

Tell me Wade found Drakken.

Oh. Problems?

Not really. No, no.

I mean, how hard is it
to be popular?

You?

None. I wallowed
in the low expectations.

Good.

I'll right then.

( giggling )

Kim, come on. Let's go.

Yeah.

Eastside is so history.

I am so history.

ANNOUNCER:
Hello and welcome

to this year's
Regional Cheer Finals!

Wade, anything?

Sorry, Kim.

Nothing on Drakken
since you called one minute ago.

Keep me posted.

You'll be the first.

First up... your own
Middleton High cheerleaders.

( applause )

You go, girls!

( applause and cheering )

( fast-paced dance music plays )

♪ Oh...! ♪

Oh.

( crowd groaning )

Move!

( cheering )

Time to deliver my ultimatum.

( laughing )

And just what is so funny?

Your voice, that body...

It's not exactly the
stuff of ultimatums.

Hmm.

Very well.

Declare me supreme ruler
of Earth

or I will Neutronalize
a different major city

every hour on the hour.

That should do it.

What does "Neutronalize" mean,
anyway?

I have no idea,
but the military had it.

It was top secret.

That's good enough for me.

( dance music continues )

( applause and cheering )

( beeping )

Got him!

Drakken did an excellent job

covering his tracks

but he wanted his mail
forwarded.

The change of address card
shows him in some kind of

time share lair complex.

Suite 7B.

Oh, yeah.

Like, he's just going
to leave the back door open.

( whispering ):
Over there.

Uh, issuing an ultimatum isn't
what it used to be.

Give the world a deadline,
and what do you get?

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Gee, you think it had something
to do with the puppet?

( groaning )

They say Paris is lovely
this time of year.

Well, not anymore.

( laughs )

Enter coordinates.

We've got to move fast.

Ron and I will draw Drakken
and Sheego away

then you disarm
the Neutronalizer.

How come I finally get
the chance to be you

and I still end up
the distraction?

Uh, Ms. Possible

I don't know the first thing
about disarming a Neutronalizer.

I just guarded it.

Okay. New plan.

( explosion )

No new plans.

You're finished, Kim Possible.

But I'm Kim.

Finish me.

Oh, please. I know all
about your little switcheroo

buffoonish sidekick.

Don't insult him.

He's got it hard enough.

Trust me.

Me? You should try going
through a day as Kim.

The pressure's intense.

What does this have to do
with anything?

Finish them both!

( weapons firing )

( screaming ):
Hey!

Uh. Whoa!

Give me a break here.

I'm wearing a skirt.

Now you know what it's like.

I want my body.

Oh, you all can have it.

It's ugly...

and it itches something fierce.

I got him!

Her... I...
Whatever.

I got him.

( frantic breathing )

Huh?

Hmm?

( groaning )

Ah, there's no body
like my body!

Oh, yes, sir!

It's good to be home.

All right, let's go.

Sheego, initiate Neutronalizer
firing sequence!

I don't think so.

What?

Your brain thing blew
out the power.

Smooth move.

Cheap rental lair.

They know that
I have excessive
power demands.

( beeping )

Kim can't talk right now.

Can I take a message?

Tell her the Army is on the way.

The Army!

Well, that's just dandy.

Sheego, activate the automatic
self-destruct mechanism.

With pleasure!

( horn blaring )

MECHANICAL VOICE:
Lair self-destruct initiated.

You can't just
destroy this place.

So I lose the security deposit.

It's worth it.

That'll blow up
the Brain Switcher.

We'll never get back to normal.

Ron, we'll be blown up, too.

Oh, man.

Farewell, Kim Possible.

The lair will self-destruct
in 60 seconds.

We're doomed.

No, we ain't.

Wade, we have no power
and very little time.

Thoughts?

Try the lithium core
I designed for the Communicator.

It packs a punch.

There's no way

that little thing has
enough power.

It's our only hope.

The lair will self-destruct
in 30 seconds.

It worked!

I'm me again.

Uh, guys...

we have a problem.

( in Rufus' voice ):
A great, big problem.

Self-destruct in ten...

...seven, six, five, four,
three...

Ah!

Buddy.

Two, one...

( alarm blaring )

Best be getting out of here.

( loud explosion )

Good news... we're
all back in our bods.

Bad news, I think
we Neutronalized

the Neutronalizer.

Or not.

Did I neglect to mention

that the Neutronalizer is
dang near indestructible?

I know someone like that.

Back at you, Brain Switch Boy.

It feels great
to be myself again.

I could not
take another day of...

BULLY:
Hey, Stoppable.

Oh, no.
Is this D hall?

Dude, here's that
money I've been...

uh, holding for you...

since kindergarten.

Hey, got this new video game.

Enjoy.

What just happened?

While I was still in your body,
I went back to D hall.

Gave some sensitivity training.

No big.