Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 1, Episode 4 - Tick-Tick-Tick - full transcript

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Excuse me! In a hurry!
Sorry!

( digital beeping )

Come on. Come on.
Print for Kim.

Good. Good.

What is this?

I downloaded cheat codes
for steel-toe cyber-slam.

Today, Ron Stoppable
defeats the boss of Level Six.

Ron, I have
like 30 seconds

to print my
history paper.

Uh-oh, paper jam.

Term paper jam, Ron.



Nothing a naked mole-rat
service call can't fix.

Rufus, emergency.

( yawning )

( coughs and sighs )

Ron!

Rufus can program
a VCR, Kim.

I think he can
handle this.

( jabbering )

Ah!

Oh, Kim-of-little-faith.

No way.

The hairless freak did it?

This is fantastic!

It's all here.



The paper, footnotes,
the biography, Rufus... Rufus?

I cannot be late.

( school bell rings )

( grunts )

Going somewhere,
Ms. Possible?

Mr. Barkin, I'm, uh...

Tardy; third time
this month, yes?

Maybe.
I'm not sure.

I am. Looks like
I'll be seeing you
after school.

At cheerleading practice?

At detention, Possible!

Detention?

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪

♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm... ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

Jim, Tim, no airborne vegetables
at the table.

Use the launch pad in the yard.

Kimmy, you haven't
eaten a nibble.

Something wrong?

( sighs )

Mom, you're a brain surgeon.

Dad's a rocket scientist.

What am I?
Detention girl.

Detention?

A Possible has never
had detention...

except your brothers,
but they're little monkeys.

Do you want to tell us
what happened, Kimmy?

I was a little late to class.

It was no big, unless you're
Mr. Three-Strikes Barkin.

Mmm, sounds like your Mr. Barkin
is tough, but fair.

Dad, I'm a cheerleader.

We don't do detention.

Really?

Who does "do"
detention?

I don't know--
other kids.

The ones who
break the rules.

Like you did.

Do I have the right
to remain silent?

( beeping )

The hospital.
The propulsion lab.

It's the communicator.

What up, Wade?

Kim, got a hit on your Web site
from the Amazon.

The Amazon?

I set you up
with Gustavo for a ride.

Gustavo... from the flood.

Oh, I remember him.

Pack your insect repellent.

South America?

On a school night?

Okay.

But finish your peas first.

You're tough, but fair.

KIM:
Thanks for the lift, Gustavo.

After you rescued
my village

from the flood last
year, Kim Possible

I only wish I
could do more.

No big. It was just like
swim practice.

Except the Middleton High pool
doesn't have piranhas.

( beeping )

Okay, Kim

I can stream you the tape
from the security camera now.

Please and thank you.

This is the lab
of Professor Acari.

KIM:
Rewind and freeze, Wade.

Who is she? She's good.

( slurping )

Is that necessary?

Uh, yeah. Every drop counts

when you're a thousand miles
away from free refills.

( bugs whirring,
birds chirping )

Wait up, Kim.

( groans )

( Rufus grunts )

What's that sound?
Bugs or birds?

Something's on my leg.
Something is on my leg!

( screams )

( grunts )

Rufus!

Huh?

( screams )

We're here.

Professor Acari's lab.

Kim Possible.

Thank goodness.

I'd get someone
out here to spray
your yard.

Got a real insect...

problem.

Little help?

Oh, don't be
frightened, Lynns.

Kim Possible has come
to help us.

What exactly was
stolen, Professor?

That's why I called you.

I don't know.
The gang's all here.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Apropos screen-saver.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Screen-saver.

No screen-saver.

What's on your computer?

Oh, well,
it's a very experimental...

( gasps )

My project!

No!

They took my tick.

( screams )

Bad summer camp
memories.

( trumpet playing reveille )

( screams )

Camp Wannaweep, my scalp was
a 24-hour bloodsucker buffet.

( groans )

This tick was not alive...

Don't play me, Prof.

On the disk
was a digital blueprint

for a cyber-genetic tick

that would be virtually
identical to the real thing.

So, you designed
a robot tick?

Precisely.
Question...

Why?

I have a lot of
time on my hands.

Who would need a robot tick?

( grunts )

Ever consider a normal lure?

Did you get it?

I got it.

I don't know why you'd want it,
but I got it.

My plan will reveal itself

in due course, Sheego.

♪ Who wants to build
a robot tick? ♪

♪ I do. I do. ♪

Uh, Dr. Drakken,
you know

you said that
out loud, don't you?

Blast.

( groans )

( digital beeping )

Go, Wade.
I don't have much time.

Oh, cheerleading practice.

No. Detention.

Cheerleaders
don't get detention.

Can we just get back
to the case?

Okay.

Look, I took that freeze-frame
from the security camera.

Her name's Sheego.

She's wanted in 11 countries.

Make that 12.

( rolls tongue )

So not your type. Eh.

BARKIN:
Possible...

Snap to.
It's 1500 hours.

She has to do 1,500 hours?

Let the time
fit the crime, Mr. B.

You want a piece of this,
Stoppable?

Pass. Remember, Kim, chocolate's
as good as cash in there

and don't look anyone
in the eyes.

Possible, meet Vinnie
and Big Mike.

What's up, cheerleader?

Hey.

Is this the assembly?

Detention, Junior.

Sit down.

Whoa!

What's a cheerleader

doing in detention?

Waiting for it to be over.

Stupid clock's busted again.

Uh... I'm doomed.

What?

Never been this close
to a cheerleader.

Your skin is so smooth
and zit-free...

like a baby's bottom.

Ew!

( loud groan )

Ooh, sorry, Big Mike.

Quiet, people.

This is detention,
not a pep rally.

( Rufus jabbering )

What's that?

( jabbering )

Vermin... mole... creepy.

Oh, that ain't right.

( Big Mike screams )

BARKIN:
Want some of this?

( grunts )

Come on, freak.
Let's dance.

( Rufus squealing )

STOPPABLE:
K.P.?

What could it be, Mr. Barkin?

Probably busted out
of the science lab.

Genetic mutation.

When will they stop? When?!

Maybe we better get out of here.

All right, evacuate
mutant-infested location.

Yes!

Go! Go! Go!

KIM:
Thank you, Ron.

Much-needed bailout.

Credit where
credit is due.

( jabbering )

You don't know
what it's like in there.

It's a meeting
of the lifetime losers club.

Yeah... Hey, I've
been in detention.

Huh.

( digital beeping )

Wade, got anything
on our mystery thief?

I scanned air traffic records
in and out of the area.

There was this small jet
of suspicious origin.

Destination?

Just a little private island

in the Caribbean.

So, villain's lair country.

And local legend says...

the island is haunted.

Mmm... haunted!

( groans with fear )

Haunted island?

Keep out meddling kids? Please.

Oh, almost forgot.
Check your backpack.

New toys? Gravy.

It's my backpack.

I need to familiarize
myself with the equipment.

Like this high-tech...
lipstick?

Actually,
that's not ordinary lipstick.

Ooh, is it fruit-flavored? Ah!

WADE:
Elastic constricting agent.

( laughing )

My compact.
I've been looking for this.

What's that do?

It's a small mirror

that allows me to check my face.

Come on, Ron. Let's jet.

( humming )

( alarm blaring )

Intruder alert!

Can't hear you!

Intruder alert too loud.

I have heard of you--

the world-famous teen hero,
Kim Possible.

And her chum.

Did she have
to say "chum"?

And surely, you know of my work.

Sorry.

Think for a minute, can't you?

I'm a genius.

I really don't know...

Doctor... Dr. Doo, Dr. Dra...

Dr. Drakken! Drakken!

Dr. Drakken.

Aha! I see my reputation
precedes me.

You have something
that doesn't belong
to you, Doctor, uh...

What was it again?

Doctor...
He said it was...

uh, Duh-something.

Enough chitchat!

My pets are famished.

Perhaps you two could stay...

...for lunch.

I wasn't going to say that.

Oh, dude, you were
so "for lunch."

Ah, yes! Then stay for lunch.

( both yell )

( laughing )

Why not otters?

I wouldn't mind
dropping into a
tank of otters.

They're fun.

( shrieking )

( squeals )

( chuckling )

I'll wager
that you are wondering

how I can use a robot tick
in my evil scheme

aren't you, Sheego?

I'm sorry. What?

When I join the robot tick
to a nano-explosive

of my own brilliant design...

Nano? What's nano?

Nano. Tiny. Mini.

Why don't you just say
"mini" then?

Because "nano" sounds about
a hundred times better

that's why.

Once the nano-tick attaches
to a victim

he or she will be at my mercy.

And will bow
to your will or...

Kaboom! Yes!
Imagine the possibilities.

About time at last
for the kids

who used to tease me
in gym.

The little...

Okay, so we're definitely
putting this guy

in the mad scientist category.

Mad-angry or mad-crazy?

What do you think?

DRAKKEN:
Look at this.

Why do I even bother
with the shots?

Remote-controlled lasers.
I'll handle this.

I got nothing.
Kim?

DRAKKEN:
No! No! No! No!

Chain reaction!

( stammering )

SHEEGO:
Run! Move!

( yelling )

( grunts )

Oh, um, uh, hi, there,
Big Mike.

Cheerleader.

Yo, Big Mike.

( grunts )

I just can't connect
with Big Mike

the way you do.

I do not connect
with him

or any of those
detention guys.

Sure, you're only a short-timer,
but you're one of them now.

So not.

So so.

I am not one of them.
I am a cheerleader.

They mean nothing to me;
I mean nothing to them.

See you after practice.

Kim, it's a good thing!

Nobody messes with them!
You got street cred!

Man, got to get me some of that.

( comm beeps )

Hey, Wade, what's the sitch?

I got Professor Acari
on line for you.

Oh, put him through.

Oh, thank you, Kim Possible.

You're welcome, Professor.

Well, I got practice
so I better zoom. Later.

Ready. Okay, bring it on.

Um, Kim.

I know about the naked mole rat.

Cute, very cute.

Junior, Vinny and Big Mike
are looking forward

to seeing you again, Possible.

That's detention,
right now.

Detention?

Kim, maybe no one's informed
you, but we don't get detention.

( sobbing )

My one and only nano-tick,
destroyed!

Grow up.

Your nano-tick's okay.

Don't kid
a kidder, Sheego.

I've got a lock on the signal,
but this is the weird part.

The nano-tick
is at some high school.

Oh, Kim Possible.

Junior, Vinny, Big Mike,
what are you staring at?

Cheerleader,
you got a zit.

Cheerleaders
don't get zits.

Oh. Well, then maybe
it's a tiny explosive device.

( gasps )

Drakken's nano-tick! Oh, great!

Mr. Barken, I got to go.

Not this time,
Possible.

No excuses, no exit.

Sorry, emergency.

Check it out.

Cheerleader's
got some moves.

Nobody escapes my detention.

Possible, you're going down!

I talked to Wade.

He figures Drakken
can track

that exploding
robot-tick thing.

For once,
let Wade be wrong.

I want my nano-tick!

( sighs )

Wade's never wrong.

BARKEN:
Possible!

BOTH:
Ooh, busted.

This helps.

Don't worry, K.P.
We are out of here.

( squealing )

( engine putting )

I'm doomed.

The nano-tick is my
evil technology

and I want it back.

Dr. D, you got
to get a grip.

( device beeping )

A beep.
It's a good beep?

The tracker's got
a lock on your bug.

Ooh, beep on,
sweet machine, beep on.

Can you not
be weird, please?

Aha!

Looks bad.

He's got some kind
of ray thingy.

What kind of ray thingy?

Gravitomic!

( whimpering )

Hang on.

Denied.

Stupid gravitomic ray!

Okay, why don't you drive?

I'll do the gravitomic.

It's my weapon,
I invented it

so I get to wield it.

Wield away.

BARKEN:
Subject is northbound
on a scooter

being pursued by an aerial craft

of unknown design and origin,
firing.

Who are you
talking to?

During a pursuit,
never distract the driver!

Look out, dude!

The flying guy's firing
some kind of beam!

Oh, man!
That's gravitomic!

Ron, U-turn.

Huh? Oh.

Got to save your boys.

Ooh, we got
her boys.

They're not my boys!

( grunts )

( tires screeching )

( tires screeching )

Uh, yeah,
gravimotromic.

You...

you don't touch anything.

What makes you think
we're safe in here?

I don't think
we're safe anywhere

but chases make me hungry.
Chimurrito?

No, thanks.

I'm trying to focus
on the thing on my nose

that's going to blow me up!

If you just tell me what
to do, I could do it.

What did we agree on?

I don't touch anything?

Yeah.

( shrieking )

I could have done that.

But can you do this?

Kim Possible has something
that belongs to us.

Guess what. I don't want it.

It's on you?
What? Like, stuck?

Hello, it's not a nose ring.

Take her whole nose
if you have to!

Works for me.

( yells )

( grunting )

Get Wade on the communicator.

There's got to be a way
to get this thing off.

Allow me!

Ron, how's Kim?

Wade wants to know
how you're doing, Kim!

Fair.
Fair.

Hey!

See, this is why
I never come here, dude.

( groaning )

DRAKKEN:
Sheego has failed!

She never fails! No!

( computer voice ):
Detonation sequence activated.

Uh-oh.

( beeping )

Oh, no!

Get me out of here!

Kim's nose
is going to blow!

That's weird.

( sobbing )

I can't disarm something
that small.

We've got to get
the nano-tick to let go.

There must be some way
to burn the circuits.

This calls for the most
dangerous chemical
known to modern man.

Diablo sauce, stat!

( gasps )

( beeping )

Drop the hot sauce
and step away from the nose.

( gasps )

Uh, well?

Nobody messes with us

right, Kim?

Uh, yeah, right, Big Mike.

Make nice later.

Right now
let's flick this tick.

Easy. Easy.

That's right.

You scream all you want.
I got you.

Almost there.

( sizzles )

( grunting )

The tick is in the straw.

The tick is in the straw!
The tick is in the straw!

What do I do?!
What do I do?!

( shrieks )

( screams )

You think
you're all that

but you're not!

( sirens wailing )

Situation...

...resolved.

Not quite.

Say what you will about me,
but Steve Barken is...

...tough but fair, I know.

Detention is supposed
to be a punishment

a time of quiet suffering.

You didn't count
on the Kim factor.

I like sparkles.

I'm next, dude.
Hey, man, I'm next!

No, me!
It's me, man!

Guys, what do we do?

BOTH:
Take turns.

Right.