Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 1, Episode 13 - Monkey Fist Strikes - full transcript

Ron's monkey-phobia is tested when he and Kim help Lord Monty Fisk recover a mystical monkey idol.

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---
( grunts )

( beeping )

Signal strong...

and annoying.

Don't look down, Rufus.

You looked down.
You looked down.

Getting closer.

Where are you hiding?

( beeping loudly )

Well, there you are.

( humming )



( gasps )

Huh?

Okay. This is a setback.

We'll get that wing fixed up.

You're safe now.

( screaming )

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪

♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm... ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪



♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

Hi.

( cheeping )

You saved a life,
Kim Possible.

It's what I do.

You know,
the help thing.

I'm the sidekick.

( beeping )

What up with... Dad?

Kimmie, do you know
what night it is?

Um... It's still day here.

Well, it's family game night
in Middleton

and we're missing a gamer.

My bad. It was an emergency.

Your Cousin Larry
will be so disappointed.

I saved a baby eagle.

You should be very proud
of your daughter here, sir.

Oh, she's a pip all right.

Well, I'll break
the bad news to Larry.

Tell him I feel
terrible, Dad.

I know you do, hon. Bye now.

Yes! Close one, cuz,
but not this time.

Cousin a loser?

He's totally creepy.

( yells )

Cousin Larry again?

( spits ) Larry.

You've been complaining
about him since forever.

What's so bad about
Cousin Larry?

Do you have
all night?

It all started
when we were three.

Aunt June brought Cousin Larry
over for a play date.

Flash forward

to family game night.

Once a month

Larry comes over and I am stuck

in Freakville

and now, Larry drones on
about these creepy

conventions he goes to

in costume--
and the video games?

Last month I learned...

Head's up!

Ow!

everything I never
wanted to know

about that stupid
Fortress game.

Fortress?

The other night I
spent six hours

battling the
hilltop fortress

with nothing
but a joystick

and a will that
could not be denied.

And to think,
that's time

that you might
have otherwise wasted.

Kim, Ron.
Hey, Wade.

Wade?!
Wade?!

Live?
In person?

High five!

Ah! Wade's a ghost!
Wade's a ghost!

Ron--

I am not a ghost.

Don't play me, specter.

( electronic humming )

Hologram, huh?

Precisely.

You almost fooled me.

Almost.

The technology
is incredible.

You can literally be
in two places at once.

( electronic humming )

Uh... There's still
a few bugs to work out.

Anyway, we got a hit

on the site
from a Lord Monty Fisk.

The archeologist?

How did you know?

I saw a documentary
about him

on the Knowing Channel.

He's discovered the location
of a rare artifact

but he needs
your help to get it.

Cool. So, who do we know
who can give us a lift?

To Cambodia?

Thanks so much

for the lift, Colonel.

Well, after the way
you tipped us off

to that assault,
Miss Possible

It's an honor and a privilege.

Anybody got gum?

( crunch )

Nice place, K.P.

Come for the humidity,
stay for the leeches.

( gasps )

Huh?

A monkey temple.

M-M-M-Monkey.

Oh, no.

Kim Possible,
I presume.

I'm Lord Monty Fisk.

This is my
valet, Bates.

This is my friend Ron.

Your friend seems
rather troubled.

Quite.

Um, yeah. Well,
see, it all goes back

to Ron's first summer

at Camp Wannawee.

He had to bunk
with the camp mascot

Bobo the chimp.

( chimp shrieking )

( teeth chattering )

( fingers snap )

That was one
crazy monkey.

You do know, of course

chimpanzees are actually
part of the ape family.

They're not
monkeys at all.

Monkeys! Apes!

They all hold stuff
with their feet, man.

We're talking
freaks of nature.

( Kim sighs )

KIM:
Ron...

Could you get a grip?

Mark my words, Kim.

His lordship is 500
miles of bad road.

Ron, Lord Monty Fisk
is a world-famous explorer

and highly respected scholar.

Bad road.

Oh. Ah! Monty, old chap.

I believe I
shall direct

all further communication
to Miss Possible directly.

According to this map,
the jade statue is here.

What's the statue of?

A monkey.

( shuddering )

What's that?

The locals believe
that placing this icon

in precise alignment
with three others

will generate
a mystical monkey power.

Utter nonsense,
of course.

Come on.

Maybe there's a back way in.

Honestly, Ron

there's nothing to be afraid of.

Kim!!

( yelling )

Okay.

At least the walls aren't...

...moving.

I feel so welcome here.

Got to find
that jade monkey and get out.

Once again,
cheerleading saved my life.

( monkeys gibbering )

( groaning )

( monkeys screeching louder )

Spikes.

Gee. Where are the snakes?

I was just being sarcastic!

( hissing )

( screaming )

The jade monkey.

Whoa!

Kim!
Huh?

What happened?
Kim Possible

I shall see to it

that the National Museum
celebrates

your heroic efforts.

It was no big.

I'm telling you, Kim

he's bad road.

I feel it.

He has a royal title.

Which you can buy
on the Internet.

Go to sleep.

( monkey cries )

There's a monkey in camp.

A live one.

You're obsessed. Sleep.

Getting closer.

A monkey.

Ah. It's just a hooded ninja.

He's got the statue.

Ron, catch.

Don't worry, Kim!

I've got the monkey!

I got the monkey!

Hey.

Oh, no.

He's gone and the
statue's gone with him.

What's all this, then?

Someone stole
the jade monkey.

How shockingly awful.

Yes, awfully
shocking, milord.

Word of our discovery

must have gotten out.

Oh, rot. If only
your bravery was not wasted.

Morning, honey.

How'd Cambodia go?

Mixed. The good part--
I rescued a priceless icon

from a ferociously
snaky, spiky pit.

Less good-- a ninja stole it.

Isn't that just like
those darn ninjas?

Well, this ought to flip
that frown upside down.

Cousin Larry felt so bad
about missing you for game night

Aunt June invited us all
over for dinner Saturday.

( coughing )

Oh, I... I wouldn't
want to impose.

Not at all.

June says Larry
never has friends over.

Maybe because he's
the dweebiest guy on the planet?

Jim... don't mock family.

Maybe he's not even
of this world.

Maybe he comes from some
far-off planet of dweebs.

Take a lesson
from your sister, boys.

Larry might not look
like the coolest kid around

but Kim knows that you
can't judge a book

by its cover--
right, honey?

Huh?

( nervous giggle )

Saturday is going to be
"Night of the Living Larry."

You know, I got to tell you...

this Larry, he sounds like
a majorly fun guy.

Majorly fun.

Want me to send him
to your house?

( beeping )

Go, Wade.

Kim, I dug up some info
on that jade monkey.

♪ La-la-la-la, monkey stuff ♪

♪ Get in the monkey stuff,
La-la... ♪

Please continue, Wade.

The temple was one of

four built by the followers

of monkey kung fu.

Each temple had a jade monkey.

Back up.
What is monkey kung fu?

Other than sick and wrong.

According to legend

when the four jade monkeys
were brought together

they gave the warriors
mystical monkey power.

It's the same drawing

we saw at the dig.

But why separate the monkeys?

Because mystical monkey power
is sick and wrong!

Actually, the legend says

that the warriors didn't want
anybody else to get the power.

Maybe the thief
believed the legend.

FISK:
Bates! Bates!

Coming, milord.

You know, milord

I do wonder if it might
have been a mistake

to call in Kim Possible.

Nonsense.

The plan worked perfectly.

She retrieved the item,
didn't she?

Milord could
have handled

those primitive booby traps.

( grunts )

And risk injuring

these hands?!

Besides...

by masquerading as the ninja,
I threw suspicion off me.

You know best,
of course, milord.

And now destiny awaits.

While at last
I have all four monkeys.

( laughs maniacally )

Stunning in its monkeyocity.

It is magnificent.

And now mystical monkey power
shall be mine!

You mean that figuratively,
of course, milord.

What's that, Bates?

Uh, well, to truly believe
that old myth would be crazy.

Crazy, you say?

Like it was crazy to spend
the family fortune on radical

genetic mutation and
dangerous experimental surgery?

Like it was crazy
to become a man-monkey

who violates every law
of nature and science?!

It's a touch unconventional.

Now, put the magic monkey
in place.

The leading expert on all things
Simian is Lord Monty Fisk.

We helped him, he'll help us.

We'll go talk to him
this weekend.

Oh, that'll be a
fun conversation.

Monkey this, monkey that...
monkey, monkey, monkey.

Ron, look... oh, Saturday...

just remembered
my dinner with Larry.

Can't you flake?
No.

All flaking options denied.

Can I make a suggestion?

Send me.

Oh, no.

Which one's the real Kim?

What do you think?

Oh, sure, make fun.

But when holographic duplicates
start running around

you can't be too careful.

Think about it, Kim.

My holographic simulator's
ready for a field test.

Really, Larry?

That's very
interesting, Larry.

Nice costume, Larry.

It rocks, Wade, but I
can't do the virtual flake.

I promised Dad.

It is very tempting though.

So, what made you decide to do
the virtual flake after all?

Wade really wanted
to test out the holo-Kim.

( clears throat )

Are we going to
ring the doorbell?

Knock? Something?

Uh, yeah, doorbell.

( loud ding )

Mmm.

( gasps )

Kim Possible?

Nice to see you again, Bates.

We just had a few questions
for Lord Monty Fisk.

I shall announce your presence.

LARRY:
Greetings, Kim.
I am Othar.

Maybe you recognize me
from Return to Ios.

Hello, Larry.

I do not know this Larry

of whom you speak.

I am Othar.

You really don't get the spirit
of role-playing, do you, cousin?

As you can see

my Ios collection has grown
quite impressively

since your last visit.

Notice anything amiss?

Uh-uh.

Uh, it's a Burnola senator
with a silver cape.

Rather dramatic error
on the part of the manufacturer

given that the senators
wore only purple.

Really, Larry?
Isn't that fascinating.

Can I interest you
in a game of fortress?

I can cheat code us
right to level nine.

( loud monkey chirp )

M-M-Monkeys.

Wait up!

Kim Possible, and your
monkey-phobic friend.

How delightful.

Sorry to bother you, Lord Fisk

but we wanted to ask you
some questions about...

So, you know all about it.

About my obsession
with Tai-shing Piqua.

Say again?

Oh, we're playing stupid I see.

Tai-shing Piqua!

Monkey kung fu!

( groans )

Is it just me or
is he walking funny?

( growling )

But did you know
that I spent

the family fortune

to get these?

( gasps )

And these!

Bad road, bad road,
bad road.

( groaning )

( laughing hysterically )

Bow to my power!

I am Monkey Fist!

So, now you know my secret

which you will take
to your graves.

How can you be so sure?

I mean, a lot can happen

in the next 60 or 70 years.

( grunts )

Oh, got you.

( grunting )

She is good.

You're the holo-Kim.

What? Then where is
the real Kim Possible?

Mmm.

Is that real
time-streaming video?

Yeah. Annoying
channel documentary.

I'm sure you wouldn't
be interested.

Au contraire.

Long have I followed
the career of Lord Monty Fisk.

A little-known fact: he is
a master of Tai-shing Piqua.

What?

Monkey kung fu.

Monkey kung fu?

He was the ninja.

Oh, can you play games
with this?

Ron was right.
He is bad road.

Hello. Awaiting.
Do you read me?

Give me that.

And so, monkey hater,
we meet again.

( chimes )

Sedentary time.

It's time to center.

BATES:
Monkey kung fu

is half mental.

Completely mental
in this case.

( groans )

Now then, where were we?

He's escaped, milord.

After him!

Wade...

Lord Monty Fisk
stole that icon.

I think he believes
in mystical monkey power.

WADE:
It's worse.

He has the power.

And now he calls himself
Monkey Fist.

And do you know that how?

Ron's in his house right now.

Why did he go there alone?

He didn't exactly.

You're with him... sort of.

The holo-Kim?

( yelling )

Ron...

Kim, tell me you're real.

I wish. Wade got carried
away with his new gimmick.

Dead end!

Oh, man.

There's a window.

Give me a boost.

Uh, Ron...
I'm not really here, you know.

Right.

Huh?

This will work.

You can't leave now.

( laughing maniacally )

Monkey!
( screams )

I don't know what to do.

If I were there,
I could help him, but...

Give it to me.
I have an idea.

This isn't one of your stupid
science fiction games, Larry!

Ron's facing a kung fu mutant
with bio-engineered hands

and mystical monkey powers.

And...

Here.

Huh? Who are you?

Kim's cousin Larry.

But that's not important.

I will no longer
be distracted by holograms.

Prepare for pain.

Remember level nine
of Fortress?

To defeat the Cloud Guardian

you must drink
from his enchanted well.

That's supposed to help?

It's a geek thing.

I must become
that which I fear most.

Hey, monkeys!

Hit me.

( groans )

Oh, yeah, I'm feeling it.

Yay!

No! Mystical monkey power is
reserved for me and me alone!

I must disagree.

( chirps like monkey )

( kung fu battle cries )

( kung fu battle cries
continue )

Coochie-coochie-coo.

( laughing )

( kung fu battle cries )

Away with you, vile rodent.

( groaning )

Ooh!

Oh...

( loud bite )

Oh... pain.

( kung fu battle cries )

Mystical power or not

you have no chance against
a master of monkey kung fu.

That's why I'm pulling the plug.

Rufus, search and destroy!

( grunts )

No!

You'll ruin everything!

That's quite enough.

Stop it this very instant.

I insist.

( laughs )

I saved them all.

Mystical monkey power
will still be mine!

Monkey this, you hairy freak.

( groaning softly )

( sirens blaring )

And the rebellion on Burnalis

was given such a passing mention
in the film

I wrote my own story
about the battle.

You can imagine
the debates that raged

when I posted it
on the fan site, Kim.

Really?

I'm not boring you, am I?

No, no, no, go on, please.

This is fascinating stuff.

Hey, want to see out takes
from Moon Beyond Ios?

The deleted footage
of the Shrieker race?

I got it at
the '99 Tulsa convention.

Score!

You guys are the greatest.

When the chips were down
you both came through.

I'm really proud.

So you going
to watch with us?

Not even a chance.

Later, guys.

RON:
What? This is cool stuff,
Kim. Kim?