Killing Eve (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - Don't Get Eaten - full transcript

Eve? How did you find me?

- What is she like? Helene?

Why not just ask Villanelle?

Do you believe in God?

I have faith that I'm
not as shitty inside

as some people think I am.

I'm trying to show
you I've changed.

Maybe I've changed. Have
you thought of that?

Just dunk me!

The funeral home Rhian
Bevan's body was taken to.

Do you know Helene?



Someone has been hunting down and
killing members of The Twelve.

That means they know a
damn sight more than we do.

Stop meddling.
You'll be arrested,

and put in prison for a
long, long, long time.

Vlad.

Hello, traitor.

Oh. I didn't kill you.

Found her!

So, what happens now?

I lead you to salvation.

Tell us what you know!

I've nothing to tell.

Does anyone here know
if this man speaks the truth?

Come on! Fess up!



Ladies and gentlemen, thank
you for visiting the Tower of London.

Have you got the tracker?

Yes.

Don't lose her.

I guess I 've never known anyone in
my life who really challenges me.

But maybe you'll be different.

How much longer
are we gonna be here?

I'm sure we'll be
moving soon, Barbara.

Okay. Question number 45,

on what day did God create

creatures who swim in the
sea and fly in the sky?

Question number 46.

Who killed Sisera by stabbing
him in the head with a tent peg?

Ouch!

Question number 47.

In John 11:35, Jesus wept.

Why did he weep?

Clue, it's not because his
coach broke down on the N4.

I have something
I'd like to say.

Okay. Is it about the quiz or...

"There shall be more joy in Heaven
over one sinner that repents

"than over 99 righteous persons
that need no repentance."

Luke, Chapter 15.

Thank you, Nelle.

Okay, can you please all pass
your sheets to the front?

Okay, so to avoid a
repeat of last year,

I've decided to
allocate you your tents,

so if you can please try
and stick to your own.

Barbara...

Just leave it!

He wants you gone.

He knows something happened
between you and the daughter,

he just doesn't know what.

What are you doing here?

What do you mean
what am I doing here?

I'm here to guide you, remember?

I'm your spiritual guru.

Er, first piece of advice...

don't eat the
weird camping food.

Come.

You want to know why I
look and sound like you?

Don't deny it, I can
see into your brain.

Come.

Everyone experiences
me differently.

I appear to some as an angel,

to some as a voice
in the clouds,

to some as a burning bush.

But for you, I'm you in drag.

Does that make sense?

Yes.

You and I both know
how well you're doing.

Your goodness is really
starting to "pop".

You just need to
convince him of it.

You can't let him stand in the
way of your transformation.

He doesn't believe in me.

Ah, he's just threatened by you.

Make things right with the
daughter, and the vicar will follow.

Go on.

Go get them, tiger!

Whoa...

Knock, knock.

And behold,

the dove returned to Noah with a freshly
plucked olive branch in her beak.

You have to use
your imagination.

I need to finish unpacking.

Let me help you.

I know you're scared of me.

You tried to kill me.

- Yet you're still alive.
- So you admit it?

That's not the point.

The point is I, I
didn't kill you!

What does that matter?

You tried to drown me but it's fine
because you didn't finish the job?

- It matters, okay?
- I don't understand.

I'm a bad person who's
trying to be good.

You know when one person
thinks you're evil,

everyone else
starts to think it.

And after a while, you start
to believe it yourself.

That's why it matters
that you're still alive.

It's working. I'm
getting better.

And it's all thanks to being
around people like you.

Pack your bags, baby.

I'm taking you to Paris.

What is this?

I know we agreed this is
gonna be a casual arrangement,

but, I'm really starting
to feel, you know...

Whoa! What are you doing?

I told you before
this even started.

No overnight stays, no
presents, no mini-breaks...

I'm joking! Jesus!

So the data from the
tampon tracker came back.

Helene lives in Champ
de Mars in Paris.

Why didn't you just say that?

Give it...

Can you see?

Paris...

I thought we could spend a couple
of days doing reconnaissance.

We can stake out her house,
we can track her movements

and get a real sense of how
she operates on her ground.

Or I could just knock
on the front door.

Or you could just knock
on the front door.

Yeah, why didn't
I think of that?

You know, you really were
wasted behind that desk at MI5.

Isn't it time for one
of your meal breaks?

How do you know she
won't just kill you?

I mean, The Twelve, they've probably
got your mug shot up on the wall, right?

"Axe murderer, refuse entry."

Hey, I'm just trying to inject a
little know-how into your revenge.

Well, what if your know-how isn't
the only know-how worth knowing?

You know what you are?

You're like one of those
people, they adopt a lion cub.

They're like "Oh, no, we have a
connection, it would never hurt me!"

And then, it rips
their stupid head off.

Wait, I'm not saying that you're
stupid, I'm just... Where are you going?

For a second opinion.

Oh, a second opinion...

I want to
show you something.

Won't your dad be angry?

Probably.

Oi!

Barbara, okay.

Are you going to kill me now?

No, I'm going to save you.

There is something
all coiled-up in you

and it's stopping you from
being who you want to be.

There's only one
way to uncoil it.

You try, Nelle, let yourself go!

Oh! You did it!

She's totally into you again!

What's the matter?
Aren't you pleased?

No, I'm really pleased.

You want to spin with me?

It's a little juvenile
for me... Are you kidding?

Of course I do!

- Hey.
- Oh, hey, this, erm...

This is for meeting me
last minute, thank you.

I can't take alcohol
into a secure unit.

So what did you want to ask me?

I've got five minutes
until my cannibal.

How do you get what
you want out of them?

You mean my patients?

Yeah, but the really
dangerous ones,

not the one-hit-wonders.

Eve, what I "want out of
them" is to help them.

Oh, please. Go on.

Okay, uh, generally,

people only talk if they think
they're getting something in return.

Work out what they want
and then give it to them.

Or appear to give it to them.

So, if I know the person
wants to be challenged,

I should just go ahead
and challenge her?

Just knock on her
door, so to speak?

A direct approach might work,
but I wouldn't recommend it.

If there's a problem, I have a
personal alarm and two nurses

and a decade of experience
protecting me from them.

Well, maybe I'm more of a "them"
these days than I am a "you".

Thanks for your help.

How is Villanelle?

Oh, you know.

She's a Christian now.

Is that possible?

Human beings like to
believe in change.

But what do you think?

I think reinvention is
a form of avoidance.

Don't get eaten.

How's the midlife crisis going?

Swimmingly.

There will be a proper
debrief in due course.

But first, we require
a little co-operation.

I'm sorry for this.

Don't be. If I were
in your position,

I'd be hooking my
nipples up to electrodes.

I'd forgotten what an
awful flirt you are.

Shall we?

She visits a sex club
in Swindon once a month.

Very good.

She has a birthmark,

in the shape of a donkey
on her left buttock.

Indeed, an arse on her arse.

Anything else?

She's also addicted to opiates.

And the last one.

This one is a
self-serving egotist

who thinks solely with
his nether regions.

He's prime for a honey-trapping.

Is that all you want from me?

For now.

In that case, I
want a new passport,

access to whatever
files I haven't seen

and an office that doesn't
smell of dysentery.

We wouldn't even let you into the
building, let alone give you an office.

Is that right?

You defected, Carolyn.

To help you smoke
out The Twelve, Vlad,

like you've always wanted,
like I've always wanted.

But now I want it slightly more

because one of them ordered
the death of my son.

I hear what you're
saying, but...

Forgive me.

People here don't like rats.

It's for your safety
more than anything.

Once this new
information comes good,

we'll set you up with all
the resources you need.

May, a word?

Where have you two been?

I took Nelle to the clearing.

You missed Capture the Flag.
You've always loved that game.

Yeah, well, people change.

Well, can't you see that's
what I'm worried about?

I think he's really
warming to me.

He's such a hypocrite.

He doesn't want me
to be around you,

but he's not so
different himself.

Me and him?

The same?

You think you've done
some bad stuff, but...

But what?

I shouldn't say.

It's not fair for you to
have to keep his secrets.

Jesus would want
you to be honest.

He killed my mum.

Er, say that again.

He tells everyone that
"Mary died in a car crash".

But he leaves out the
most important part.

He was the one who was driving.

He was the one who was drunk.

Please, you can't tell anyone.

Of course not.

Am I Hitler?

Yes!

Who did this?

It's just a game, Nelle.

Ah!

Okay.

Okay, well, now it's
my turn to write one!

Yes!

Yeah.

It's Bible themed.

So you're going to love it!

- Yes!

It's what we like!

Okay.

Am I a man?

No.

No?

Am I alive?

No.

Am I a contemporary of Jesus?

Yes. VILLANELLE: No.

No. Actually...

Did... Did I say Bible-themed?

Yes.

I meant Phil-themed.

Phil-themed?

Yes.

Nelle, what are you doing?

No, it's okay, May. It can be about
me, if that's what Nelle wants.

At least she's taking part.

Er, okay, Nelle.
So, it's me-themed.

Is it someone I know?

Knew.

Am I my mother?

No.

Am I our old cat?

Do you want a clue?

You were killed unlawfully.

I don't know anyone that
was killed unlawfully...

Oh, think a bit harder.

Do you give up?

The answer is

your dead wife

who you killed in a car
crash when you were drunk.

Yeah.

Better luck next time.

I'll get the sausages.

That was not what we discussed.

Did you see his face?

Don't ever do something without
running it past me again,

or I will smite you!

I can't be mad at you.

You know, if you hadn't called
him out, I would've had to.

No, we can't have
murderers as vicars.

Er, you can't?

I didn't mean you.

- Oh.
- You're fine.

You're not pretending
to be perfect.

Now, you've been naughty, sure.

But he, has a
really nasty streak.

You know, I once took the
devil out of a man in Gerasa

and put him into a herd of pigs.

People loved it.

And guess what? They're
going to love you too.

You've saved them from
the evil in their midst.

Don't worry! I'm back!

What's the matter?

Did someone get murdered?

Okay...

You, Malala, unpack these.

You get some more
wood for the fire.

You, put some music on. Huh?
This is supposed to fun.

I knew you was bad inside.
I saw it from the beginning.

Nobody cares what
you think, Barbara.

I do.

Did you not see what happened?

I, er... I cast out a demon.

He's not the demon. It's
you who should go, missy.

Yes!

Why are... Why are you
defending the vicar?

He killed his wife and
then he lied about it!

Whatever he did,
it's in the past.

It's the man he is
today we care about.

What about the woman I am now?

Do you know how many times I've
won Parishioner of the Week award?

Cos you invented it!

Yeah!

There's a saying in my family.

You can put a wig on shit,
but it still stinks of shit!

You said they'd love me!

A rat, for a rat.

How many toilet breaks do
you think you're gonna need, a day?

I'm doing a rota for the
stake-out. How many toilet breaks?

You're loving this, aren't you?

Aren't you?

I might not come out of this.

I'm gonna give you four,
in case of nervous poos.

When we get there,
I want to have steak.

Steak!

I thought you
wanted to eat steak.

I did. It's overdone.

Okay, what is going on?

On the way here you were all Dragon
Tattooand now, you're what, you're, Eeyore?

Can we just get the bill?

You are not going to die.

We are not even
going to go near her.

This is just a recce.

And I really know
what I'm doing.

Yusuf, please.

Have you taken the steak knife?

- What? No, of course not...
- Show me your bag.

- No!
- Show me it.

- No, I...
- I'll take a look.

No! No, no, no...

- Eve...
- Stop it. No!

Okay.

You wanna do it your way?

You want to knock on that door, without
knowing what's on the other side,

and you think that this
is gonna protect you?

Well, it has before.

Eve, you want to
hunt down The Twelve,

you wanna kill the top brass,

you wanna die while doing it, you
have my support, one hundred percent.

But this way, you will die
before you even get close.

Gotta hold something
back for what's to come.

Let's get out of here.

Right, thanks, I'll get it.

I'll get it.

- I will get it.
- We will split it.

It's worse for me.

It probably...

Now Marina thinks I'm
just a terrible cook!

Oh, yes, I forgot.

I've brought you, a present.

A present?

What have I done
to deserve this?

It had infiltrated
my kitchen cupboard.

A little light intimidation.

You know my people wouldn't be doing
their jobs correctly without it.

So has my information
proved useful?

Partially.

Please, tell me.

How can someone be
partially blackmailed?

Well,

the child with the floppy hair, he
has fallen hard for his honey-trap...

What are you keeping
from me, Vlad?

Don't try and outsmart me.
You haven't got the neurons.

Mmm.

The woman with the
ass on her ass,

she was found dead
about an hour ago.

She hanged herself.

Fortunately, her
children weren't there.

Well...

- These things happen.
- Hmm.

Drugs ruin lives.

Mmm.

If the waiter comes, I'm
going to have the veal.

Excuse me just a moment...

Come to get this?

Actually, I've come
to cook you dinner.

But I'll take it.

What are we having?

Shepherd's pie.

Where are your knives?

Ah!

You want to know how I
knew it was a tracker?

I don't use applicator tampons.

I've never understood
women who can't insert

their own fingers
into themselves -

Ah!

Ooh, let me see.

Ooh.

I feel rude you
cooking me dinner

when I hardly know
anything about you.

Tell me about yourself.

I like holidays, dogs,
long walks on the beach.

And?

And I want to bring
down The Twelve.

I want to cut the
head off the monster.

That's wonderful.

I like all of those things too.

And guess what?

I also want to cut the
head off the monster.

Really?

Amazing isn't it, when you find
someone you can really connect with?

It's so rare!

- But you're one of those...
- So?

So why would you
want to destroy them?

Oh.

So this is what you're into.

Torturing your way
through The Twelve,

picking them off one by one.

I don't usually do
the torture myself.

This is a special treat.

Does it hurt?

Only if I let it.

Don't move.

I've only got lobster tail.

You don't have to do this alone.

Who's at the top?

I'll tell you after dessert.

Chloe, this is my
new friend Eve.

Eve is the best bedtime
storyteller in the world.

Would you like her
to read you a story?

She won't let you
go until you've done it.

She's got her mother's
determination.

Oh, come on, don't
ruin the moment.

Who's at the top?

If you're so up for a
challenge, work it out yourself.

You're right.

Hey, hey! What it is
you want to do exactly?

I'll tell you after
dessert sometime.

I didn't see what you saw.
I saw something, something good.

And now?

And now I don't think
anyone could love her.

I think she's the devil!

Help!

There, there.

Come on.

Don't hate yourself.

You were the
perfect little lamb.

A shepherd like me
couldn't have...

Very good.

You really got me.

No one else could've done it.

I thought I could do it.

Oh, baby.

You didn't stand a chance.

Hmm.

Oh, don't stop now.

Huh?

Come on, finish the job!

Boo-hoo!

Three suspected members
of The Twelve murdered so far.

All of them by sadistic torture.

Interesting. Continue.

Helene is as clueless as we are.

She is torturing each
member to get to the next.

I killed two people last night

after I really tried
really hard not to.

Salud.

Women are so much worse
than men. No one told me.

We'll have a bottle.

Is there anything
you'd like to tell me?

Things are difficult.

You scare off the customers.

I feel like shit.

All of the time.

Chubby bangers!

Special treat for Mr Big Boss.

Hi.

I need help.

I barely had a chance
to wash my bed.

Villanelle's in my room.

What?

I think she's killed again.