Killing Eve (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - I Have a Thing About Bathrooms - full transcript

Don't do anything stupid.

Where's my bag?

I don't think I can trust you anymore.

You won't work alone again.

Your hair's grown.

No fighting in the car!
She's a friend.

I'm poking around
on these transactions

and I noticed this.

Kenny traced the lead.
Payments made to a school.

Both of Frank's kids go there.

Where is he now?



Who are you running from, Frank?

I can look after us both now.

- Oh, my God.
- No, no, no, drive!

Oh!

Come on! Eve, go, go!

- Drive!
- Go!

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Eve?

What are you...

What are you doing?
Are you insane?

I'm gonna talk to her.

She has been trying to kill me!

She's waiting for something.

Oh, my God, Eve,



- please don't say...
- She's waiting for me.

Wake up, Eve!
She's an actual assassin.

She's here to kill him.

- Eve!
- I'm thinking.

Eve, we will
catch her again, okay?

And then you can do whatever it is

that you want to do with her,

but right now, stop being a dick, Eve!

- I'll punch you if I have to.
- Yes!

Eve, no!

No!

So, what happens now?

- Who is she?
- I don't know.

We didn't exactly chat much.

So there were three of them,

and they didn't say a word to each other?

Come on, Frank!

Is there any more brown sauce?

- Where are your kids?
- With my mother-in-law.

Text her and tell her you need them

to stay there a few nights.

No, use mine.

They'll be tracking yours.

You know, I did this for the right reasons.

I don't wanna hear
what your version of the right reason is.

Could you just not give me a hard time?

Just for a minute, please?

I'm very tired.

Uh...

Am I allowed to please
go and get some more sauce?

Who would spend
that much money on that man?

God, look how excited he is
about his brown sauce.

He makes me sick.

Oksana.

What?

One of the girls was called Oksana.

Oksana.

Oksana, yeah.

Just search every
prison record with that name.

If there is an Oksana

who has so much as stolen a bar of soap,

I wanna know about her, okay?

On it. Are you guys okay?

Yeah, we're fine.

Send me the safe house address.

- Anything else?
- The suitcase came back.

Great. Anything?

Her DNA is all over it.

Clear match with samples
from the other kills. It...

- It's just...
- What?

She must know she's traceable.

Either she's deeply arrogant
or she knows she's protected.

- Or both?
- Oh, God, or both.

Okay, call me with any Oksanas, okay?

- Sure. Bye.
- All right. Bye.

Priority.

- This way.
- Huh...

Yeah, make sure that he doesn't...

- Do you have a moist wipe?
- No.

This is your own personal safe house salon.

There's toothpaste, toothbrush,

soap and shampoo in the cupboard.

This is where the magic happens.

Uh, all the windows are secured

so you don't need to worry
about any tap, tap, tapping

on the glass in the night.

And I'll be here the whole time
for anything you might need,

other than a cuddle.

Happily married, not one to stray.

I've asked for Chinese
tonight if you fancy it.

Bit of duck.

Elena, why don't you
go and make some tea?

Okay.

Okay, let's go, Frank.

Hello, Frank.

Look...

What I've done

is nowhere near as bad
as what a lot of people have done

to save their families, okay?

We chased the money,
we know you're on the payroll.

So you might as well start talking.

What do they want?

I think I'm... I think I'm...

Having a anxiety attack.

My arms are... They feel, they're numb.

Can you get me a doctor, please?

Just breathe slowly.
Don't hyperventilate.

Can I just please go and have a bath
or change my clothes?

I will tell you everything.

You can have
five minutes to get changed.

And you'll be escorted.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Thank you. Yeah.
- You okay?

Okay, looks like you guys have got this.

So, with all due respect,
I'm gonna head back to east London

grab three bottles of wine,
and cry-hump my ex

until the memory of this
traumatic day evaporates.

I understand.

Other than that, Carolyn,
I had an amazing day.

He says he's feeling too weak to talk.

Do you want to drag him
in here by his armpits?

No.

I know exactly what he needs.

I'm so sorry you have to see this.

It's okay, Frank.

It's all gonna be okay.

Just tell me who these people are.

They call themselves...

The Twelve.

And they knew everything about me.

- They blackmail you?
- No.

No, worse.

They offered to pay for
my wife's medical treatment.

They knew everything about her condition.

They knew the NHS wouldn't offer
certain treatments for cancer

without private patient funding these days.

I had no other option.

You can't blame the NHS for this.

No, of course not.

- I blame the government.
- And the school fees?

I just wanted my family to be happy.

What information
did they want from you?

They just want to know
what conversations are being had.

They're interested in the big picture.

Specifically, information about Russia?

No.

Although the agent was Russian

and we drank a lot, so I just assumed...

I thought they were SVR.

Standard Russian government agents

who wanted a little inside gossip,

people's whereabouts...

I don't know. They just wanted

to know anything and everything.

I just wanted my wife to be okay.

I think Bill's wife
wanted the same for him.

I didn't know they were
going to go after Bill.

I think she took your department
rather personally.

And how do they know
about the department?

I told them. I thought
you were still investigating

after you interrogated me...

I did not interrogate you.
No, I did not...

For someone who says
they know hardly anything,

you seem to know rather a lot.

Why didn't you come to us?

Because I didn't want to get caught, here.

I thought the Russians...

would help.

- And the girl.
- Yes, well,

they're very proud of her.
They're using her to...

What? What are they using her for?

There is a sequence.

A pattern to these kills.

They're destabilizing from the ground up.

To what end?

Chaos.

Any matches for Oksana yet?

I'm still working on that.
Nothing yet.

Okay.

Frank said the organization
calls themselves "The Twelve."

Powerful number.

Is it?

12 disciples,
12 months of the year,

12 days of Christmas.

Is Elena okay?

Oh, yeah, she's taking the afternoon off.

Okay.

I might call her.
Do you think that would be weird?

Well, now you have the disciple thing

if you need an excuse.

I think it would be very thoughtful.

Okay. Bye.

Police have confirmed that
they've found a male body

in the site near
where you picked up Frank.

They're gonna keep us informed.

There are three of them.

- Someone is unaccounted for.
- Apparently so.

Was that, uh, Kenny on the phone?

Yes.

Is he, uh...

His father died a few years ago, right?

Very sudden. I just thought...

With Bill suddenly...

Is he okay?

Well, he sounds okay. I...

We're all in shock.
I'll keep an eye on him.

Good.

Uh, do you need an escort home?

No.

Thank you. I think a walk would be good.

Ouch.

Shit.

Ouch!

Shit.

Hi, darling. Hi, I...

No, I'm so sorry. I have to...

I have to go back in to the office.

Bring Dom around for food later, okay?

No, no, I'm fine.
I just, I ran for a bus. Uh...

Are you annoyed?

God, you are my hero, okay? Yes.

I'll see you later. Good luck.

Okay, love you. Okay, bye.

- Oh, sorry.
- It's okay.

I think it's his baby's blanket thing.

I found it under the desk.

I wasn't sure what to do with it.

So, I just folded it.

I'll take it back to his family.

You should still talk to him, you know.

- What?
- Even though he's gone.

We should just talk out loud
to him sometimes.

It helps, I promise.

- Kenny, I...
- I found some prison records

on various Oksanas
around Russia and Ukraine.

There's one I really wanna show you.

Great. Um, can I just...

- Uh, yes, I just need to-
- see, um...

- Oh, God, I'm sorry.
- No, no, um, it's fine.

"Professional" has two S's.

Thanks.

Uh...

- Oh, shit.
- Yes, that's the one.

Oksana Astonkova.
Fits the profile perfectly.

- Except...
- What?

Well, she died in prison.

- When?
- Four years ago.

Why was she there?

She, um, killed a guy

and did some pretty weird things to him.

- Like what?
- She, um...

- How would Elena say it?
- She chopped his knob off.

Jesus.

Niko?

Don't run.

Open the door!

I'm not going to hurt you!

Come on, come on!

Help me! Help me!

I am not going to hurt you!

Please!

Open this door or I will!

Something, something, something!

Damn it!

- Open this shit door!
- No! No!

- No!
- Listen to me.

- What are you doing?
- No!

No!

Stop it! Stop screaming at me!
I'm not going to hurt you!

Stop it!

Stop it! Stop screaming!
I'm not going to hurt you.

You're hurting me!

Shut up!

Stop it!

I just want to have dinner with you.

Okay?

Mmm.

Okay!

Um...

I don't really have much to, uh...

I will eat anything.

Thank you.

There's shepherd's pie.

Thank you.

I can do it in the oven,
but microwaving it would be faster.

Microwave is fine.

You're shaking.

Uh, yeah, well...

Hey, put on something from there.

I won't look.

You have a very nice body.

Do you want me to lay the table?

No, you're my guest.

You don't want that to slip.

You can hold on to it
if it makes you feel better.

Please.

It's so nice to meet you.

You, too.

Why are you here?

Did you make this?

No.

- Your husband?
- Yes.

He has an excellent mustache.

Why are you in my house?

I wanted to see you.

Why?

I need someone to help me.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

I know what I am.

I know I'm not...

Normal, I...

I don't feel things that...

I'm sorry.

I didn't want to hurt your partner.

I don't want to hurt people.

They make me do it.

If I don't do what they say...

Eve, I have nowhere to go.

I need help.

Eve, please, I am so sorry.

Bullshit.

Bullshit.

God.

You're an asshole.

Oksana.

You are so pleased with yourself.

I know more than that.

Hmm?

I know you are Russian.

I know you were in a prison in Moscow

for five years until someone broke you out.

I know you are exceptionally bright.

Determined.

Hard-working.

What else?

I know you are an extraordinary person.

What else?

I know something happened to you.

What else?

I know you're a psychopath.

You should never tell a psychopath
they are a psychopath.

It upsets them.

Are you upset?

Stupid word.

Are you here to kill me?

We're just watching you.

Who?

Who do you work for?
Why are you killing these people?

- Do you not know?
- Do you know who you work for?

- Yes.
- Really?

- Yes.
- Really?

I think if you went high enough,

you'd probably find
we work for the same people.

I have, uh, your prison file.

What does it say?

Why castration?

What did he do to you?

Tell me.

Okay.

But can we get one thing clear

before we go on with this?

Yes.

Is that a sweater attached to a shirt?

Is it two separate pieces?
How does it work?

Why Bill?

He was slowing you down.

Ugh!

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

It's worse...

When I push it through slowly.

Don't make me.

Are you wearing his?

I am gonna find
the thing you care about...

And I am gonna kill it.

Oh! Please.

Please?

What? I thought I told her...

What is your PIN?

One, two...

Three...

Four.

Okay.

Thank you so much for your help.

I'll take this.

Hi!

I'm sorry, I'm just leaving.

- Oh, hi.
- Hello.

Hi!

Oh, thanks, Eve, that was delicious!

Did you win?

I'm sorry I couldn't call, I...

She took my phone.

She was in my house,
we had a sort of a fight, I think, and...

Are... Are you having a party?

It's just dinner, come in.

God, I'm sorry.

You look really nice.

This way.

I'm sorry for interrupting.

Oh, it's just an old friend.

Kenny, would you join us?

Kenny is my son.

We have no time for you to react to that,
so don't feel that you have to.

And I just won't be a moment, Martin.

And that's Martin.

Are you hurt?

No.

She took my phone.

It has the interview with Frank on it.

And she'll have
the location of the safe house.

- I used my phone to get us there.
- All right.

I'm going
to alert armed response...

I need forensics at my house,

I need protection for my husband,

but most importantly,
we need to move Frank now.

Yes, all right, um...

Do you want to, um...

Well, I've got the
pudding to do, so...

Yes, pudding, yes, uh, yeah, sure.

- Will you still save...
- Save you some? Sure.

Yes. Thank you. Yes. All right. Let's go.

Oh, God! Oh, God! Someone!

Squealer.

I'm... No, I'm...

I didn't tell them everything.

Are you going to kill me?

Mmm.

But first, I'm going to use you for sex.

It's just a joke.

Please. Please!

We can do a deal.

- I have a lot of money.
- So do I.

I have children.

I don't want your children.

No, I have children to take care of.

Oh! Oh.

This will give them
something to bond over.

You scared?

Yes.

Because you don't know
what happens when you die?

You have any ideas?

Your eyes will just...

Empty.

Then your soul goes in.

People think that your soul
or personality, whatever,

leaves the body when you die.

I swear, it just goes further in.

It falls so far in and just...

Just becomes so small
that it can't control your body anymore.

It's just in there, dying forever.

Mmm.

I'm going to kill you nicely.

Hmm? First.

But then I'm going to make
a mess of your body afterwards

so it looks worse than it is.

Just so you know, okay?

No, wait, please, can we...

Do it in the bedroom?

I have a thing for bathrooms, actually.

Please?

Okay. Come on. Let's do it in there.

- Don't get me excited.
- I'm sorry.

Take off your clothes.

And you might get away with this.

- What do you want from me?
- Your penis.

My... Huh?

Complete?

First room's clear!

We have one male
in need of urgent medical assistance.

Oh, my God!

Max, are you okay?

Frank?

Oh...

Oh!

- Through there?
- Yes, ma'am.

She, um...

She...

Just say it.

She chopped his knob off.

Right.

Diego and Nadia were fighting.

- Ugh.
- And then?

And then he just went backwards!

I was screaming.

Nadia put something in
the back of the car and bang, he hit her.

Told me to get out of the car
and we just walked away.

I had no weapon.

He said he was going
to kill me, I said, "Why?"

"Why? We're meant to be a team,
we have to get the target."

Said we were, uh... Oh, God,
what's the word he used?

"Pumpkins."

- So?
- So I shot him.

Oh. I thought you had no weapon.

- I took his.
- Oh.

While he was pointing it at you?

I didn't want to tell you
this part of the story

because I knew you would be jealous.

Hmm?

I had to use my tits.

To kill him?

You killed him with your tits?

No!

When he was looking at them,
I took his gun.

Ah, okay.

- It was so sad, you know?
- Mmm-hmm.

I liked having a team,

but you can't trust anyone, huh?

You told me that.

Nadia is still alive.

No.

No, he... He went over her.

Twice.

I think you should go and visit her

before she starts
telling her side of the story.

Where is Nadia?

Russia.

You have no choice.

No one else can do it.
It's too suspicious.

Don't worry.
You can come straight back.

What about Anna? Hmm?

You won't see her.

What?

What number are you?

What?

You're not 12.

Oh, dear.

Nadia was the other
assassin with Villanelle.

She's been taken
to a prison outside Moscow.

The same one Oksana was in.

This is a very important job for you.

You go in, kill the girl, come out.

- Can we go to Moscow?
- Well...

All of us?

How many more people have to die

before you complete this level?

Wow.

Don't for one second forget,

that you're trying to make
the world safer for everyone.

We're from the British
Intelligence Service.

We want to ask you some questions.

They hate that we know more than they do.

They just hate it!