Killer Sally (2022): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

Action.

Hi. I used to be Sergeant McNeil.

I was in the Marine Corps for 11 years.

Now I'm just Sally McNeil, civilian.

If you're interested
in wrestling me personally,

just give me a call when you receive
the phone number at the end of the video.

Sally McNeil
has a tremendous physique, as you can see.

And she's married to another bodybuilder.

She's married to Ray McNeil,

who's certainly one of the most
muscular pros alive.

My star is on the rise.



Sally didn't talk about
what was happening with Ray.

Whoa.

They were into
some weird stuff.

There's a seedy side
of bodybuilding. Nobody talks about it.

The one and only victor.
Champion of champions.

And I've learned to, like,
suppress things and block them out.

It's been instilled in me
that I'm the violent one.

I was a good wife to Ray. I loved him.

It's not like I woke up and decided,
"I'm gonna kill my husband."

911.

I just shot my husband
because he just beat me up.

- You shot your husband?
- Yes, I'm at 1802 South Tremont.

- Who's crying in the back?
- My daughter.

Dad! No, Dad!



- Okay, what's your name?
- My name is Sally McNeil.

Sally.

I'm gonna try to tell you
as much as I can remember,

because it did happen 25 years ago.

And...

because I'm human and I'm flawed,
I hope I can remember enough.

Once upon a time, Valentine's Day
was a very good day for me.

1987, 14 February,
I did my first bodybuilding contest.

Little did I know
that was the beginning of the end.

It was in the Marine Corps
that I started bodybuilding.

I was trying to get bigger, so I was
stronger, to be able to protect myself.

I was new to bodybuilding,
and I had never competed.

Staff Sergeant Kelly said to me,

because I was working out
and I was all covered up in my sweats,

and he goes, "You know, the bodybuilding
contest isn't just a bikini contest."

I was like, "Yeah, I know."

So I took off my sweats and posed.

Then they said, "Oh my God! We didn't
know you were working with that."

So I kind of had their blessing
to compete in bodybuilding.

My first competition
was on Valentine's Day, 1987.

I took 4th place in the Armed Forces
Bodybuilding Championship.

My friend, he goes, "Sally, there's this
big bodybuilder named Ray McNeil."

"He's a sergeant.
He just came in from Okinawa, Japan."

"And I showed him your picture,
and he wants to meet you."

When I saw Ray the first time,
it was lust at first sight.

Not love at first sight, lust.

Ray comes to the door,
and it's this big hunk of a man.

He looked like the statue of David.
He was beautiful.

He seemed very polite and kind.

I thought I had found the man that
would be a stepdad to my two children.

And he seemed to really like me.
He was impressed with me.

Do that again.

Everybody's got calves, except me.

Everyone.

- Can you see me real good?
- Yeah.

How long have you been bodybuilding?

Not long.

Since 1983.

What's your favorite movement?

Bench press.

I can tell
by the size of your chest.

We liked the same movie stars.

Like, anything that Arnold Schwarzenegger
was in, we went to see.

Being with Ray, it felt special.

Peekaboo.

Good evening.

This is the future North American...
Women's North American Champion.

Ray and I may have been dating
two months before we got married.

I thought, "What a man I have.
I don't want to lose him."

When I love somebody, I give them my all.

You get everything of me.

Eventually, we got an apartment off-base
on South Tremont Street in Oceanside.

You can see where we live.

This is our domain.

This is our domain. I'm the surfer.

Ha, ha, ha!

We had a two-bedroom apartment
two blocks off the water.

You could hear the waves hit the beach.

I'm soaking wet!

And I remember saying,
"What a beautiful place."

"This is gonna be a new life."

Say, "Cheese."

Cheese.

She's coming to get me. Ah!

My mom was beyond in love
with my stepdad Ray.

Totally wholeheartedly,
just nose wide open.

There were a lot of good times.

We were, all four of us, goofy.

Hi.

We're at Epcot Center.

At the beginning of the tour.

Should be a blast.

I remember everywhere they would go,
they would attract attention.

You know, sometimes I wouldn't like it.

Everyone would stare. Everyone.

Because they didn't look
like everybody else.

Look.

They're all looking at Ray right now.

They're all looking at Ray.

Also, the fact that my mother
and my stepfather married interracially,

and, from her first marriage,
she had two half-Black, half-white kids

with colored eyes and big, blond hair.
We looked different.

After my parents got divorced,
my biological father wasn't around.

And my mom found Ray.

At some point in our lives,
we started calling him Dad.

I loved Ray.

He was very charismatic.

I knew that my dad
was going to be like Conan.

That's all I remember saying in my head.

- You press "record", right?
- I'm just asking.

You gotta back up a little bit.

All right. It looks good.

In 1990, Ray and I won the Armed Forces
Bodybuilding Championships.

We were the first husband and wife
that won separate, individual events.

He's on his way
to be a successful bodybuilder,

and I was working my way.

I was on my way too.

Hello. My name is Sally McNeil.

I'm a sergeant in the Marine Corps,
and I'm stationed at Camp Pendleton.

Hugh Malay here in Santa Monica for ESPN.

Ray and Sally were popular.
Kind of... Kind of similar in a sense

that they had the makings
of real good careers.

Sally McNeil
comes in from California,

has had some great success as an amateur.

And this guy,
Mr. Armed Forces, Ray McNeil.

They were Marines.
He was a sergeant.

They won bodybuilding competitions
in the military,

so they were kind of prepped.

Definitely feeling
the crowd here.

They had a good story.

You talk about family support.

She's married to Ray McNeil,
who certainly has what it takes

to go to the very, very top
in bodybuilding.

If you have a very strong amateur career,
you can consider going pro.

There's more opportunities
on the pros to make money.

There's more connections.

You have magazines,
you have, uh, endorsements.

Very few people make that jump.

You got to be... It's an elite jump to make
from amateur to the pros.

Ray left the Marine Corps in 1991.

His ambition was to turn pro.

He wanted to win the Mr. Olympia.
His dream was my dream.

If I could have gave him the moon,
I would have gave him the moon.

I wanted to train more, but it was hard.

I was still in the Marines.

I was a cook for the mess hall.

I hated cooking,
but we needed to pay the rent.

Money was really tight.

My mother used to go
dumpster-diving for cans.

And I can't tell you how many times
I've picked up and stomped cans,

and then we take them to the recycling
and get money for them.

And we were poor, and they were
dedicated athletes trying to make it.

The IFBB
North American Championships.

This event attracts
America's best amateurs,

all intent on turning pro.

For Ray,
the North American

was the gateway into the pros.

The biggest show of his life.

That was a make or break.

Bodybuilding is... is scored subjectively.

There are eight poses
in bodybuilding competitions.

Judges look for size,
shape and proportion.

Ray's getting nervous.

There's this man, Paul Dillett,
that's gonna compete in the heavyweights.

He's, like, 240 and 6'2".

So he's a big dude.

I was sitting by the door,

and when Paul Dillett came through,

I almost fainted.

He was so big and monstrous.

He was just a giant.

And little Ray over there,
I didn't think he had a chance.

While they're doing
their posing routine,

like, you know, they're asking them,

"Turn around. Let me see your back."

I was surprised
when Paul Dillett turned around.

The definition wasn't there.
He disappeared.

When Ray hit his back bicep,
it was like boom, boom, boom.

Ray looked like a picture
out of an anatomy book.

I'm like, "You know what?
He probably got a chance."

I mean, Ray was cut.

He couldn't beat Paul with the size,

but Ray was so put together,

everybody looking at Paul,
all of a sudden they start looking at Ray.

At the end of the show, Ray's like,
"Oh my God. I'm not even gonna place."

And I said, "You're winning, Ray."

Once it got down
to the fight for the overall,

there was no question as to who would
claim the right to become a professional.

The complete package that was Ray McNeil
walked away with the crown.

Showing that bodybuilding
is a sport for the whole family,

his two children climbed on stage
to flex next to Dad,

the duly crowned North American champion.

Now Ray's job was to be
a professional bodybuilder.

And he was a good-looking guy.

You're gonna make a lot of money if you
place well in the bigger competitions.

Contestant number 16
from the United States, Ray McNeil.

Come on, Big Daddy, win!

Me and my brother were very involved
in the bodybuilding community.

We were always there in the crowd
screaming, "Go, Mom! Go, Dad!"

I remember we got to meet Lou Ferrigno.

I loved The Incredible Hulk,

and I got to see him in person,
and I was like, "Oh my gosh!"

And, like, "Hi, Hulk."

You know?
I thought that was cool.

I liked going to the competitions.
I thought some of the women were pretty.

I had a crush on a couple of them
I would follow.

I do remember being backstage
and just watching them spray-tan.

Oh, and I had to put that stupid
spray paint on my mom.

And even sometimes on my dad.
I thought that stuff was weird.

I was like, "You guys are just weird."

And my dad wearing
the little skimpy underwear.

And I was asking them, like,

"Why are you guys doing this?
This is so embarrassing."

And, um,

my dad and mom had explained to me
that it was like an art.

And it was how pristine you can make
your body, and how chiseled, and...

It's a form of artwork,

just in human form.

Bodybuilding has
always had the problem,

"Is it sport? Is it art?
Or is it a pageant?"

My name is Wayne DeMilia.

I'm the former chairman

of the IFBB pro division,

and considered by many people
the best promoter this sport has ever had.

Enjoy the show. Thank you for coming.

Bodybuilding really took off in the 1970s
with the film Pumping Iron.

And, of course, Arnold.

Welcome to this year's
Mr. Olympia Championship.

The Mr. Olympia competition

is the top event in the world
of professional bodybuilding.

Winner, the one and only
Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnold also brought on,
you know, the fitness revolution,

and everybody was getting in shape.

Pumping iron
is no longer for men only.

The ladies have invaded the gyms,

and women's bodybuilding
is coming on strong.

So here we are, early 1980.

I said, "Well, we gotta put together
a women's bodybuilding event."

We called it the United States
Women's Championship.

What you're gonna see is very novel
and very entertaining.

And about 30 women came.

And remember, the girls were on stage,
and we're making them do, like,

half bodybuilding poses.

We didn't know
what we were doing with them.

And the judges are looking at me,
going, "Wayne, what are we looking for?"

And I just said, "Well, select the girl
that just looks the best and is toned."

Number 25, Rachel McLish.

And so the attractive young Texan

comes up a winner.

Women, back in the '80s,
by our standards today,

not really... that muscular.

The one,
the only, Lenda Murray.

I'm Lenda Murray,

I'm a female bodybuilder,

and I won the Ms. Olympia eight times.

And Arnold won it seven,
so that I'm proud of.

Sorry, Arnold.

When I came along in 1990,

my physique said strength and power.

You know, I'm making a statement
to the world saying,

"I know society says that women
should be a Cindy Crawford

or have the beautiful long legs
and this body and fit this mold."

"But I'm saying that I'm deciding on
what I want to look like."

I liked Lenda Murray.
I admired her.

I remember when she won the Ms. Olympia,

and I was like, "I would like
to be like her one day. Wow."

Ray and I joined Gold's Gym in Oceanside.

I was coming along.

My lats were shaping out.
My shoulders were getting bigger.

Ray's the biggest-known bodybuilder
that works out there.

He's the big fish in the pond.

I met him at the gym.

He got me into the bodybuilding world.

And then a lot of people...
"You know Ray? You know Ray?"

"You think you can get him
to give me a... you know, an autograph?"

And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we'll get you handled up."

He's got a tremendous
physique, as you can see.

How's a guy get that big?
Well, he starts with a real good diet.

A hundred and fourteen eggs per week.

Yes, 114.

Feeding Ray
was like feeding a lion.

I would go to Costco's
and buy those steaks.

What, I think there was, like,
eight of them in there.

John, Shantina, and me,
we'd get three of the steaks,

and the rest was for him.

He would get five.

I used to be a running back.

And I was All-Conference and All-Metro
in high school in football.

Played football in the Marine Corps.

And, see, with the Marines,
the Marine attitude is,

you're a Marine 24 hours a day.

And that's the same way it is
with bodybuilding.

Bodybuilders, for the most part,
are control freaks by nature.

They have to control
everything around them,

especially around contest time.

They want to be on a schedule.

They're rock solid on schedules.
But they have to be.

It's... It's part of their... their makeup,
because if they're not doing it,

the guy they're posing next to did.

The only time I saw Ray panic
is when he was getting ready for a show.

I was, you know, really surprised
that he wasn't more confident.

I'm like, "What?"

And I would comfort him, say,
"Ray, you look great. You're fine."

You know?
"Don't panic, don't get stressed out."

I thought, once Ray turned pro,
that his insecurities would go away.

And it only made it worse.

He didn't think he was good enough.

This is a guy that's, at that point,

he's like 240
and doesn't think he's big enough.

Men kind of get reverse anorexia.

I think he had that.

It was like,

"You're a big man, Ray. You're big."

Quarter turn to the right.

Bodybuilders will push
their body to the limit.

Steroids were the secret of the gym.

Nobody's on steroids.

Anybody you talk to,
"I'm not on steroids."

Everybody's on steroids back then.

If you're in the top five,
you're on steroids.

When you get a bottle of Dianabol,

in the pamphlet that you get,
like with any drug,

when you read it, it would say,

"This drug does not enhance
athletic performance."

When it sure did.

I did a real, real drug test
on the 1990 men's Mr. Olympia.

And the physiques were down
quite a few steps.

One guy dropped out after the first round
because he looked so bad.

He couldn't handle it.

At the end of the show,
two fans came up to me who had VIP seats.

And they said to me, you know,
"I don't want it drug tested no more."

"I paid $250 for this VIP seat."

"I want to see freaks."

At the time that I knew Ray,

I was into the steroid business.

'Cause I was a gym owner,
and I was taking steroids myself,

and so to make extra money, I would...

When I'd get steroids,
I would get extra steroids,

and I would sell them to my friends.

And Ray, he learned the secret,
is what we called it.

And once he learned the secret,
we became really good friends,

and, uh, I would get him
whatever he'd want.

And I met Sally through Ray.

Once I was getting
his supplements for him,

which is steroids,

then he brought Sally with him one day.

I see the results that Ray's having,

and I'm thinking,

"Maybe I should use steroids."

So I used... Anavar,

because it... it allows you to lift heavy.

And I wasn't on steroids all the time.
And it was the first time I used steroids.

Usually, I didn't go along with the crowd.

This time I did.

Something was set off-balance.

I wanted to win at all costs
to gain my husband's approval.

Goddamn,
I almost didn't recognize you.

Look at that. Oh!

The '90s was when you started
seeing women who had decided

that they're gonna go that route.

A lot of size.
A lot of size, as you can see right there.

They're gonna put
weird things in their body,

and it's going to cause
some great muscle increases.

But, same time, the flip side
was your voice might change,

an Adam's apple might pop up.

That's why
I didn't use testosterone.

Women should never use
straight testosterone,

because it'll cause male pattern balding.

It'll cause you to have a deep voice.

Talk like this.

I couldn't afford a lot of steroids,

because Ray, you know,
was getting the bulk of it.

I went down to Tijuana a lot of times
and bought steroids for Ray,

because you don't need
a prescription there.

They sell steroids in farmacias.

We would get in the Firebird,

and we would go
from Oceanside into Tijuana.

We'd buy the steroids,

and she had a little hidden compartment
in the back of the Firebird

where she would hide them,
and then we would come back into

the United States with the steroids.

And did the kids ever come
with you when you went to Mexico?

Because you couldn't leave them?

Yes.

So tell me about that.

Um...

I don't wanna talk about that.

Okay. Why?

That makes me look bad. I... I would...
That was bad parent...

That was bad parenting,
taking my kids to Tijuana.

I don't wanna talk about it.
Yes, I did that. I'm not proud of that.

My parents
were taking steroids.

They really didn't...
It was a very taboo subject in my family.

Um...

And then, um, my parents
were arguing a lot more.

He said that I was inferior,

and that he was
the more, uh, superior bodybuilder,

and everything should go towards him.

From the start, I wasn't good enough.

I was never good enough.

Ray felt as though he was the most
important person in the family.

He was trying to get me to give up
my dream so I could support him.

I could finance
his budding career in bodybuilding.

Ray didn't have a job.

I think Sally
was the main, uh, breadwinner.

A lot of the bodybuilding women back then,

they had side jobs

where they made money
doing strength contests.

18, 19...

41, 42, 43...

They would lift whatever amount
of pounds so many times,

and they had to do so many chin-ups,

and Sally, matter of fact,
she was really good at that.

Go.

So we go to this contest.

It was a strongwoman extravaganza.

This one... one body up here...

A man named Bill Wick approached me
and asked me if I would wrestle for him.

Here's a look at what you get
in today's inside story.

Ow! Ow!

Buyers may find
that Bill Wick's Amazon Woman videos

bear a strong resemblance to home video

because that's in effect what they are.

Wick sells them by mail order.

His distribution center
is his coffee table.

I'm Bill Wick.

I'm... I'm older than I look. I'm 78.

No, that's not right.

I'm younger than I look.
I'm older than I...

Some people say I don't look 78,
but I am 78.

And I do wrestling videos
with women bodybuilders.

Oh my God. Oh jeez.

Oh, not that hold.
Felicia, you know what that'll do to him.

I started off, I was married
to a woman named Kay Baxter

that was second in the world
in bodybuilding,

and all they do is this.

And I said, "What can you do
with your muscles?"

"Can you run? Can you jump?
What can you do?"

And then I thought,
"I used to coach wresting."

"I'm gonna teach her how to wrestle."

You know, looking back on it,

there was a movie
called White Christmas with Bing Crosby,

and there was this dancer named Vera-Ellen

that had muscles all over her legs,

tap dancing.

And I turned to my dad.
I must have been ten.

I said, "God, Dad,
look at the muscles in her legs,"

and he said, "Yes, isn't that ugly?"

And I remember as a little kid saying,
"No, that's not ugly."

You could kill somebody with your legs!

I am a little bit bewildered
about the term "fetish."

Is it or isn't it?

Who cares?

If you like it
and you can show your mother,

I'm not ashamed.

I can wrestle a girl
in front of the world.

I'm not ashamed.

She broke her ThighMaster,

so sometimes she likes
to squeeze the neck.

If you're buying my videos because
you think they're real, save your money.

They're choreographed.

They're like a stunt fight
you see in the movies.

God, I'll never sell
another video after this.

- Hey, um, excuse me.
- Yeah?

You can't be
picking them lemons on a military base.

- Aren't you Sally?
- Yeah, that's right.

Aren't you responsible for kicking
my dad out of the Marine Corps?

- Your dad? Yeah, that's right. That's me.
- Yeah.

Sally was properly constructed.

She had a round muscle butt,
and she had nice legs.

Well, he taught me
how to do the grapevine,

he taught me body scissors, headlocks.

It was like Karate Kid. Wax on, wax off.

I was groomed for wrestling.

There was
Sally vs. the Lemon Thief.

Shot it in my yard in the back.

How's that feel? How do you like that
coming from a woman?

Huh?

When I made the wrestling videos,

I didn't consider myself sexy.

I don't think you look sexy

when you're grunting and groaning,
and wrestling somebody.

Let's go.

We'll take a shower,

and then I'll take you
to a good porno movie.

I've always felt like
a hard woman was good to find.

Sally's married
to a big, strong guy, Ray McNeil.

Ray knew everything, because I told him.
I said, "I'm gonna do a video with Sally."

So, yeah.

It's no... no secret. No nothing.

Bill was paying me $50 an hour.

And then I started wrestling
for a lot of other people

and was making good money doing that.

And, uh, what does
your husband think about this?

He loves it. He loves the competition.

There was one where he was in it.

I... I was lifting him.

There's men that like to watch
women lift other people.

They were into some funny stuff.

Ray was okay with it,
because it was mostly about the money

and making the money for Ray,

because they needed to raise
the money for his bodybuilding,

for his supplements,
that, you know, that kind of stuff.

They tried to talk me into doing
a... a wrestling film with her.

I felt kind of funny.

His wife, uh, barely got clothes on,

and I told them I...

Mm... I don't want some guy being turned on
by me being choked out by a woman.

I told him I didn't want to do it.

Hi, I'm Sally McNeil,
and I'm gonna pose just for you.

I began to say to myself,

"Why should I let these men exploit me

when I can exploit myself
and make money off the videos?"

I started my own business,

and I called it
Top Secret Video Production.

Get out of here!

My first film that I made
was called Snow Job.

Gonna wrestle you in the snow.

The snow was so deep,
we would sink to our hips.

When you watch it, it's funny.

And then I made a wresting video
of me being in the Marine Corps.

Somehow I rip off my camouflage

and start wrestling this staff sergeant
that's being mean to me.

I even went on base.

And there happened to be
a platoon of Marines walking by,

and they let me call cadence.

My Marine Corps color is gold

My Marine Corps color is gold

To show the world that we are bold

To show the world that we are bold

I drilled them.

That's real Marine footage,

and that's on
The Adventures of Private Selina.

Halt!

Hello.

In 1993, I got out of the Marine Corps.

Contestant number 88,
Sally McNeil.

My best year in competition,
I placed fifth in the USA.

I was quite proud of that.

But that was an amateur show.

I would have liked to have turned pro.

That would have been
a nice way to make a living,

but I was making more money in wrestling

than the professional bodybuilders
in bodybuilding.

I made a great living
being a female bodybuilder in the '90s.

But the money that the women
bodybuilders made

was significantly lower
than what the men were making.

Because the Mr. Olympia could
walk away with about 150,000.

My first win was 27,000.

Also, it was challenging
as far as just getting the coverage.

Enough of this jaw-jacking.
And let's bring on the babes.

You know,
it's all about "easy on the eyeballs."

A lot of the women, you know,
they just weren't...

They just weren't attract...
Not unattractive.

But they weren't...
They didn't bring the eyeballs to TV.

If guys don't want to see women
who are too muscular, look like men,

it's not gonna sell.

As the women became
more fanatical about the sport,

of course they just wanted
to eat, sleep, and train.

Well, how do you make money
to support yourself?

A woman bodybuilder has a tough time
existing in regular society

because of their size and everything else.

But we started seeing
men that will pay for private time

with extremely muscular women.

The nickname we gave
to them was "schmoes."

Uh, a schmo is an industry term

for a man who would pay for
what was known as "muscle worship."

It's basically muscle prostitution.

They would pay these women
to just meet them in a hotel or something,

or they'd meet them at their house.

And the guy would... You know,
not going into finer details,

would get off on it, you know what I mean?

These women wrestle with the guys,

beat up the guys,

walk them around like a dog,

all sorts of crazy stuff.

You know, very seldom did they have
any sort of conventional sex.

It's all this off-the-wall stuff
that these guys are into.

I'm the best wrestler.

So, if you want to end up like Ed,
just call me at 61...

Men did
private sessions with me.

I appreciated the work
that I got from them.

Other people use the word schmo.

I don't use that word.

I made a lot of money off of these men.

I will never degrade them.

I would wrestle these men at a hotel room,
or maybe at their house,

or at my apartment.

I'd move the furniture out
and then wrestle.

And did any guys
ever try to have sex with you?

No.

I was married.

Okay, okay,

They were guys
that were in charge of everything.

So there would be a time
when they wanted a woman

to take over and be in charge.

There was Wall Street-type of guys,

garbage truck workers.

And actually, the garbage truck workers

smelled better
than the Wall Street Journal type of guys.

They stank like
they just went to the bathroom,

and then came and wrestled me, and I was...

I was disgusted.

Somebody looking in
would say it's bizarre.

I'm making so much money

that it compensates
for the bad feelings I may have.

The money outweighed... the...

the dark side of it.

$300 an hour outweighs the fact

that I'm wrestling a man in an apartment.

Because if I wrestled ten of them,
that's $3,000.

I was flying cross-country
to go to New York City,

to Boston,

down to Florida, down to Texas.

Those were, like,
three good moneymaking places.

When my mom was wrestling,
I absolutely hated it.

I absolutely thought

it was the most disgusting thing ever
that she could possibly do.

Um...

The men that she wrestled were creepy,

they were weird.

It was embarrassing.

I'm the one
that paid for everything.

Made Ray happy
that it was paying for his steroids.

This is where all men belong.

Down at my feet.

In 1993, I spent $24,000 on him.

Bodybuilding is an expensive hobby.

Unless you're winning the shows.

Mr. Olympia
Bodybuilding Championship day.

That year, Ray qualified
for the Mr. Olympia.

He was so excited.
He was crying with me. He was...

Had so much joy
that he was getting invited

to the most prestigious event
in bodybuilding.

These are the best in the world.

He realized,
"I'm one of the best in the world."

For Ray,
the Mr. Olympia was the Holy Grail.

And now his destiny was all up to him.

Mr. Olympia
was the Super Bowl of bodybuilding.

In 1993, the check for winning
was $100,000,

but, you know,
just the peripheral benefits

of being Mr. Olympia were endless.

Exhibitions, interviews,
layouts, endorsements.

When you were Mr. Olympia, it was like,
you're the king of bodybuilding that year.

Up next here
at the Olympia is Ray McNeil

out of Oceanside, California.

When you come out there,
okay, it's just you,

the lights, the crowd, the judges.

The stage is yours. You gotta kill it.

You have to make sure every body part
is just gorging with blood

so that everything's popping.

Your biceps, your triceps, your chest,
your back, your lats.

Everything's just got to be exploding.

Ray had some nice charisma,
a good-looking guy.

His leg development was a little lacking.

His calves were not good at all.

And the competition is so intense.

The reigning Mr. Olympia,
Dorian Yates!

I mean,
they called Dorian Yates "The Shadow."

I mean, massive to the point
of, like, "scary" huge.

Ray was not ready for that, you know.

There's no way he was gonna stand
next to those guys and be competitive.

Ray placed 15th at Mr. Olympia.

Dorian Yates!

To work so hard in the gym
and think you're ready to go,

and then coming up short is...
Uh, uh, it's a hard knock.

He took 15th place.

They never knew how angry it made him.

I knew.

You know, it was like he took
his frustration out on me.

He was probably the most
talented person I knew,

but he had demons to deal with.

Ray was born in North Carolina.

His mom gave him away
when he was two weeks old.

His aunt took him in.

He was brought up in poverty.

I went back there with him to visit.

The walls were papered with newspaper,
and the floorboards were bare.

And she had roaches all over the house.

But she was a kind lady.
She brought him up.

Ray told me the boy
that his aunt had living at the house,

um, sexually attacked him

and made him perform sexual acts on him.

Ray was a kind, loving person.

Majority of people
that knew him personally

knew he was a kind...

Just a gentle giant.

You know, he's...
He... He... He had a short fuse.

So, you... you just had to be cautious
about how you approached him.

My dad was totally
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

His personality was, well,
it always did flip. I remember...

So I always stayed up and waited
for my dad to come home,

uh, because there was
one specific situation...

Uh, I don't even think...

Yeah, my mom
doesn't even know this happened.

Um...

Him and Jinx used to, uh,
bounce at... bounce at bars.

And, uh, my dad came home... and...

he was covered in blood,

like, from head to toe.

He had scratches all over him.

And I said, "Dad, what happened?"

And he didn't even notice
that I was there in the house.

And he came flying in the house
and was like,

"What do you mean?"
I said, "Dad, you have blood everywhere."

So I cleaned him up,
and he was telling me,

um, there were some
bad guys at a bar, fighting,

and he had to... protect himself,
because they were trying to kill him,

and he had ended up blinding somebody
by, uh, sticking his hands in their eyes.

And he had to... he had to blind somebody

to get away.

Um...

I don't know if that happened.

I... Honestly, I don't know.

I just know that the panic
in his face was...

That was the first time he had ever
told me not to tell anybody anything.

I remember that.

We worked together as bouncers at a club.

And, uh, I've seen some horrifying stuff
that he did to people.

That night I heard, they said,
"Emergency up front."

When I was coming up front,

a lot of people were saying,
"Stop, stop, you're gonna kill him."

And he finally let go of the guy,
but he had...

When I came up, his... You know, the guy,
he was bleeding through his eyes.

So they, uh, took the guy
in the ambulance.

Uh, Ray didn't get arrested,
because the cops all knew us.

But he says, you know, he told him,

"You kinda maimed the guy.
He might be blind."

So that guy wound up being blind.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday... ♪

Everybody liked Ray.

They thought he was a nice guy.

If he was in a bad mood,

he could just come home
and take it out on me.

Um...

I wasn't telling on him,
so they had no idea what a monster he was.

I would say
between 8 and 12 years old,

I knew that something was not right
with our household and how we were living.

Um...

My stepdad was physically abusive
to my mother.

Uh, very physically abusive.

The first time he choked me,
I thought he was gonna kill me.

That was shocking.

And, um...

Oh my God!

My mind is trying to black it out.

This is gonna... This is gonna bring up

a lot of stuff that, you know,
I... I can put away,

and now it's bringing it back up.

It was like a lot of times when he would...

When he would, um, attack me,
he would just instantly choke me.

And it was like, "Why you gotta choke me?"

"That could kill me."

I should not have
allowed it to get to that.

I should've left a long time ago.

I should have left him
the third day we were married.

That day he punched me in the face,

cracked my lip,

and then he apologized to me,
and he said, "I'm sorry."

"I won't do it again." And I believed him.

My dad would come back,
bring flowers and candies,

and tell her he loved her,
and he was gonna change, and...

She would always tell me,

"Oh, he's gonna change,
he's gonna change."

She had this deer-in-the-headlights look
that... it's just gonna be better.

And it never got better. It got worse.

Shut up! I do my best for you!

The time when he broke my nose,
we were all watching TV.

And that... That really scared Shantina.

She ran out of the house.

Yeah, I was scared.

Screaming and saying,
"Let me out. Let me out."

I heard this loud crack.

It sounded like somebody cracked,
like, two pieces of wood together,

and my mother's nose
was bleeding everywhere.

I went and reported it
to my First Sergeant.

He sent me to Medical.

I said, "My husband
punched me in the face."

They took him to the brig,
but then they released him,

and he beat me into oblivion
so I would drop the charges.

My First Sergeant was so mad.
"Why did you drop the charges?"

And I was like thinking to myself,
"Why did you release him?"

What else could I do? That's a big man.

Do you feel like you got
used to a certain level of violence?

I think so.

I think I got used to
a certain amount of violence.

As a little girl,
my stepdad beat the hell out of us...

and I think that's why...

I was abused by my husband.

It was a learned trait.

My relationship with Ray, um,

was a very violent one.

He used to abuse and beat me a lot,
especially while my mother was gone.

I remember the first day I came
home from school, um, kindergarten.

They would give us smiley faces,

where they would put a pin
with a picture of a smiley face,

and my smiley face was turned around.

And he asked me
why was my smiley face upside down.

I said, "Because, uh,
I got in trouble for talking."

So he got up,
and he went to the back room,

and I could hear the clanking of the belt.

And he said, "Well, you're a big boy now
because you go to school,

so I'm not gonna
spank you anymore with my hand."

"I'm gonna spank you with this belt."

Hi, Mom and Dad.
It's the 25th of December, 1994.

It is Christmas Day.

Hello, everybody back at home
in Allentown, Pennsylvania.

Merry Christmas.

This is from Shantina,
to let me know who I am.

My name tag.

This says "Dad."

Okay.

So whenever you guys thought about
not picking up after yourselves,

this gives me
the authority to get the belt.

Because I'm... Dad.

Whenever my sister and I
both did something wrong,

Ray would bring both of us into the room

and he would spank one of us
and make the other one watch.

And I remember how torturous
it used to be for me as a kid

to have to sit there and watch him
abuse the crap out of my sister

and to know that I was next.

I really hated him.

He was... literally like the devil to me.

I... In my mind,
I think because I'm in such denial,

I can't always remember what he did.

I can't believe he did that.

I mean, he did it.

Those children didn't deserve
to be mistreated like that.

I was always protecting him.

And I shouldn't have.

That was the biggest mistake,
biggest mistake.

I would tell my mother

all the time,

"Why are you dealing
with Ray beating you?"

"He is not my father. We can leave."

For me, I always thought that
my mother chose my stepdad over us.

She never talked about it to anybody.

I was the only person
that she talked about it to.

It's because I would question her
when she came to my house

with black eyes, and broken nose,
and arm in a cast.

And I kept begging her
to get out of that situation,

but she wouldn't hear of it.

He was her everything.

"I love him. He's so good when he's good."

And I'd say, "Yeah, baby,
but it's so bad when it's bad."

She'd have bruises, stuff like that.

But...

I'd never seen anything physical

except her getting into his face,

and pushing him back,
"You're gonna talk to me..."

And that's when I left.

I was uncomfortable
with being around that,

because it wasn't my place to say anything
to them about what they were doing.

So I would leave. I'd just...

Sometimes they'd go in a room,
by the time... I was gone.

I just, uh... Because I would jumble...

Marble eyes going, "Oh my God,
they're gonna kill each other."

And there was that sawed-off shotgun
they had in the house.

I had the weapon
in the house for security,

because Ray was gone a lot.

Did you ever worry
that Ray would use the weapon?

I never thought of that.

He could take me
and bash me up against a wall.

He didn't need a weapon.

He was a weapon.
He was a 260-pound weapon.

Oh, it just sounds so bad,
though, to talk about it.

It just... It just...

He sexually abused me

and made me have sex with him.

"I want you to have sex with me
to forgive me."

"That means you forgive me."

And there was times
I didn't want him to touch me.

- So he would rape you.
- Yeah.

He would say that every orifice
in my body belonged to him.

If you'd be interested in wrestling me...

I should have left, but I was so... broken.

I was so broken I didn't know I was broke.

And then it's another Valentine's Day
that I'm getting my ass kicked.

That's when my incident happened with Ray.

911.

I just shot my husband
because he just beat me up.

- You shot your husband?
- Yes.

Who's crying in the back?

- My daughter.
- Dad! No, Dad!