Kid Cosmic (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Kid Cosmic and the Invaders from Earth - full transcript

[Kid] Woo-hoo!

[helicopters approaching]

Table ten, heart attack on a rack,
and he wants it hemorrhaging.

Got it!

-Order up, table seven!
-Thank you.

Flop two for table three.
Add frog sticks.

Frog sticks, no problem!

Order up, table nine!

Can you draw me three in the dark?

Sure thing.
Cackle fruit and bullets for table 20.

-Fruit and bullets!
-Order up for the Head Honcho.



-The two dots and a dash?
-You betcha.

[background chatter]

Sorry you got displaced, guys.

So, you're saying all these people are
with some secret government agency?

Yes. They've been watching the kid
since he found those rings.

These electric puppies are their pets?

No. They're some sort of
repurposed alien technology.

It's all been
one big, covert government experiment.

So, that biker in black…

-Man in black.
-…is the one in charge?

Just to confirm orders, sir.

We are to put out roadblocks
ten miles from the town limits?

[slurps]

Affirmative.



The cover story is that a semi
caused a toxic chemical spill.

Any additional details for the press?

[slurps]

Negative.

The Force is to be brought in
under cover of darkness at 21:00?

[slurps]

Affirmative. Dismissed.

Hey, jeez. Watch the plate!

Where is he?

-Sir, ready in truck two.
-[static squawks]

Hey!

Uh, you forgot your breakfast.

Sorry if I was rude.

I'm really worried about the kid.

Nobody's seen him for a few days,
so if you're holding him,

like in truck two…

Or truck three?

Four, five, or six?

It would be great
if you could let me know where he is!

Or just not be suck a jerk!

[engine revs]

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[slurps]

-Report.
-Status remains unchanged.

Test subjects two, three,
and four still kicking up a fuss,

but effectively neutralized
along with the townsfolk.

The search continues for subject one.
However, there is a new complication.

[slurps]

Spill it.

The sandwich is missing.

Test subject five.

Tuna Sandwich.

-The cat.
-[scoffs] What's a cat gonna do?

-[Tuna yowling]
-[soldier yelping]

Find the kid.

[yowls]

-[Biker] Talk.
-About what?

The invasion.

What can you tell us about the invasion?

It failed. We blew it!

I put my faith in this Great Leader
and he turned out to be a total coward.

And this kid,
who I've been mocking non-stop,

turns out to be braver
than my leader's whole army.

What do you do when your whole life
has been built on a Klaxian--

Quiet! Not that invasion.
The real invasion.

I'm sorry. Real invasion?

[grunts] Long-range scanners indicate

a large, interplanetary armada
headed towards our solar system.

We believe they're after the stones.

Huh, news to me! I'm sure you're right.

Everyone in the galaxy wants those stones.
That's why I'm here.

I was going to bring honor to myself
and glory to the Great Leader.

[chuckles] What a joke.

[Biker] I've heard enough.

[unknown voice]
I missed my daughter's birthday.

Huh?

I had
one last high-priority delivery to make,

then a short warp home to see
my little girl turn sweet sarksteen.

-[speaking alien language]
-[beeping]

[delivery alien] But no,
you shoot me out of the sky

and strand me on this grop-forsaken planet

where I get locked up and probed!

Probed with a ton of questions
by the furry-faced monkey boy.

Though I didn't get to see
the joy on her face,

I'm gonna take great pleasure
seeing the pain in yours!

Wait! Ah!

I was hoping to tear your legs off,
but someone beat me to it.

[Chuck] No!

Ah!

[Chuck grunting]

If you're a delivery guy,
how did you know to use the stones?

Ooh, so a working guy like me is too dumb

to know about ancient cosmic artifacts
that give you superpowers, huh?

Hey, I like my history, alright?

And now, you're history!

[Tuna yowling]

[delivery alien yelping]

[grunts]

-[meowing]
-What are you-- I can't under--

I don't speak cat!

Oh, just hold on.

[meowing]

…running out of time,
and if we don't-- Huh?

Wait, is that me?

Hot damn! I been dreaming
something like this would happen.

[clears throat] Hello? Hello? Hello? Wow.
Is that really how my voice sounds?

[hums]

Hey, not bad if I do say so myself.

[Chuck grunts]

Oh. [Tuna laughs]

Oh, pardon me for ramblin'.

That's for the bullpucky and betrayal
you've been laying on the kid.

I take it from earlier
that you're ready to change your ways?

Good. I'm gonna need your help
if we're gonna save the kid.

Now, are we gonna share this
magical speech contraption or…

[Chuck in his voice] No. Keep.

Painful to spak Englis,

but pain is price I pay to… to help Kid.

-[Tuna meowing]
-Huh?

[punches landing]

What are you doin'?

Dress like soldiers. Right?

No, that's not the plan.

I'm a cat, and you're an alien.
Think clothes are gonna fool people?

What is plan?

We find the kid and keep him
from making a terrible mistake.

But we're going to need
the whole team in order to do it.

The diner is still full of smokies.

Best to let some time pass
before we try to wrangle Jo.

[Runa] Let's head to Rosa's.

We sure could use
that gal's get up and go.

In all my days, I've never seen
such a big heart in such a tiny package.

What… about… Kid?

You ain't wrong.

That boy brought sunshine into my life
when there was only darkness.

Sometimes I wish he had a little
less heart and a little more common sense.

[Chuck shushing]

-Are you shushing me or--
-Shh!

[Tuna] Oh.

Looks like there are
some officers of the law here as well.

We need to keep the conversating
to a minimum.

What? You don't think
I can keep from yappin'?

That I'm a blabbermouth,
a chatterbox, a gabby-gabby…

Alright, point taken.

Just one more thing
and then I'll muffle my muzzle.

I can handle all the climbing.

But I'm lacking in the thumb department,

so I'm gonna need assistance
with latches and locks. Agreed?

[Chuck grunting]

[grunts]

Rosa, cálmase. Come here and sit down.

Yes, querida.

Ooh, we can have a tea party.

Ay, Rosa, look at this mess.

That kind of behavior
will get you grounded, young lady!.

Point taken, we're grounded.
But that's no excuse to misbehave.

[Rosa grunts]

How about we make you
some real hot chocolate?

Don't care.

With whipped cream?

Don't care!

And marshmallows?

Marshmallows on top, not below.

[chuckles] Of course, querida.

[punches landing]

Hey, what's going on out there?

Harry?

Holy cow!

Oh, Harry, what--

-Ah…
-[thud]

Coating on tongue make victim sleepy.

You are one strange and disturbing fella.

[gasps] Gatito!

Rosa, listen.

-[screams]
-[screams]

[screams]

Rosa, ¡cálmase!

I can talk, and Chuck is now
one of the good guys. No more hitting.

We need to get out of here.
Grab Jo, grab Papa G, and go save the kid.

And we need to do it pronto.

¡Vámanos!

[engine whirring faintly]

-Any more giddy-up in this thing?
-Nope!

Jo isn't exactly a cat person.

Perhaps it'd be best
if you two went and grabbed her.

But what about soldiers?

How can we sneak past?

Well, looks like
I'm gonna have to fly solo on this one.

[Tuna meows]

[meows]

Dinner time, huh?

[bells jingles]

[background chatter]

-[meows]
-[Jo] Not now, Tuna.

Order up, table seven.

-Thank you!
-[meows]

I'll feed you in a minute.

-[meows]
-That's it.

Find your dinner out here, mister.

[bell jingles]

How'd it go?

We've got ourselves
a bit of a pickle here.

I need to talk to her
to get her somewhere private.

But I need to get her in private
before I can talk.

I'll… write… note.

Tell her to meet me in the bathroom.

[meows]

What?

Sorry.

Ooh, ooh! I can write! I can write!

Tell her to meet me in the bathroom.

"Meat potty"?

What is this supposed to mean?

Don't freak out. It's meow.

[yells]

Pretend to give me scratches.

What? Uh…

Ah! My eye!

No! You scratch me.

I mean, you're the apple of my eye,
sweet kitty cat.

You can talk. What do you have to tell me?

That's great. Oh, sorry.

Let's skedaddle out the window
and I'll explain outside.

Ah, meat potty!

-[Tuna] As you can see, I've got Rosa--
-Chuck?!

-Hold up!
-No!

-[punching]
-[Chuck] Ow!

How was I supposed to know
Chuck switched sides?

How was I supposed to know his teeth
would fly out of his mouth from one slap?

They grow back quick.

We can discuss your outburst later.

I've corralled you because I had
a terrible vision concerning the Kid.

Let's hurry up. There's no time to waste!

Ugh! We gotta get to Papa G's
before the government knows we're gone.

-[soldier] They're gone!
-They're gone?

They're gone.

Talk.

About what?

About the whereabouts of the kid.

[engine revs]

About the whereabouts
of your so-called team.

[engine revs]

About whatever foolish plan
you and the kid have cooked up.

[engine revs]

Talk.

I don't know where the kid is.

But I thank the stars above
he hasn't fallen into your grimy hands.

I don't know where the team is.

But I'm pleased as punch
to hear they've escaped.

And whatever amazing plan
they've got cooked up,

I hope it roasts your buns
till they're nice and toasty.

Don't mistake yourself
for a hero, old man.

You're a guinea pig.

Your whole team were guinea pigs.

We used you to test the stones,

to see what they did,
to see how dangerous they were.

[engine revs]

Somehow, you all survived.

You have a real talent
for surviving, George.

[engine revs]

I've seen your file.
It's surprisingly long.

If you don't want this night
to be the final page in that file,

I suggest you talk.

Thank you, George.

That's all I need to know.

Now move out of the way.

-I said move!
-[engine revs]

-Move, old man!
-[radio squawks] Sir, you there, sir?

Oh, what is it?

We need you back at headquarters, sir.

Copy that. And call off the search.

I've found the test subjects.

Ah!

[grunts]

Hey! Where'd you guys come from?

Gather 'round, folks,
and listen close to what I tell you.

I've seen things. Terrible things.

I've got no choice
but to share them with you all.

As the kid suspected, my cosmic ring
gave me the power to see future dangers.

And the future is bleak.

I have seen the tranquility
of our humble home

torn asunder by cold, heartless invaders
who want to control the galaxy.

And it breaks my heart to tell you

that the kid plans to put himself

smack-dab in the middle
of the conflagration.

Sounds incredible, I know.

Didn't want to believe it myself.

But I've seen the proof.

The G-Men have long-range scanners
that show a massive invasion is imminent.

And I'm afraid my vision 
is about to come true.

The kid's in danger.

-What can we do?
-Fight!

Now, Rosa, fighting
isn't always the answer.

In this case, it is.
But how do we fight without rings?

[Tuna] We can't do nothin'
without the rings.

That's why we need to get them back.

-[helicopter approaching]
-Just in time, sir. The Force is arriving.

Follow me.

[Tuna] Now, we may have started 
as a ragtag bunch of misfits…

but the kid has molded us into a team.

And there ain't a power on Earth
that can break that bond.

Whatever interplanetary forces
may be coming our way,

if we can just stick together,

I have no doubt
that we will clean their clocks.

Now, who's ready to take on
these lily-livered G-Men,

get our rings back, and save the kid?

[Local Heroes cheering]

[closing theme music plays]

♪ The sun has set
Behind the mountains ♪

♪ It is dark ♪

♪ I am cold ♪

♪ All is lost ♪

♪ All is lost ♪

♪ I am once again abandoned ♪

♪ Has-been ♪

♪ Left alone ♪

♪ All is lost ♪

♪ All is lost ♪

♪ All is lost ♪