Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 2, Episode 4 - Kickin' Genes/Clothes Call - full transcript

Kick discovers Mom's secret past as a daredevil.

♪ Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski, buttowski

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski



♪ kick buttowski! ♪

Behold. Bonesaw.

(squeaking)

(panting)

Gunther, time check.

Exactly 17 hours and...

Some minutes

Till the annual
skidzeez bmx rodeo.

Just enough time to
get some practice in.

But, kick,
isn't this warm-up stunt

Bigger than anything
at the rodeo?

If i'm going for a
three-point shot,

I practice from half-court.

Oh, yeah!



Like when you eat a big lunch

Before thanksgiving dinner.

(cackling)

You think that hunk of junk

Is any match for my
new set of wheels?

Gordon gibble.

West mellowbrook, represent!

Oh, what's this?

The golden lasso trophy!

Yeah, from the looks of it,
i'll be keeping it this year

When i win the bmx rodeo again!

(cackles)

(both laughing)

And how do you
plan on doing that?

Same way i did last year.

(spectators cheering)

Announcer: Gordon gibble wins!

Gunther: You mean by cheating?

Duh! I mean just with the
best bike money can buy.

Which i have a lot of.

It's not the bike.
It's the rider.

(all three laughing)

Yeah, right.

West mellowbrook, out.

Yeah, out!

Yeah! Up!

See you at the finish line.

Let's do this.

Wow. It really is the rider.

Shut it!

(screams)

Kick!

(crashing)

Kick, are you all right?

Gunther, call an ambulance.

(gasps) are you hurt that bad?

(gunther screams)

(all laughing)

Yeah, can i... (gasps)

Bonesaw? What?

She was so young!

She just got her first
rust spot last week.

(crying) why? Why?

Kick?

Can you fix her?

(machinery whirring)

(ticking loudly)

No! (thunder clapping)

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The bike's gonna be okay.

We just don't think she'll
be ready by race time.

You gotta fix her.
I can't do the rodeo without bonesaw.

I can't live without bonesaw!

Kick,
the rodeo starts in an hour.

We have to get another bike.

Another bike?

Doing the rodeo without
bonesaw would be like

You doing it without
funnel cakes!

(shrieks)

Without bonesaw,
i just can't compete.

Are you going to let that
cheater gordon win again?

You said it yourself, kick.

It's not the bike,
it's the rider!

I'll do it. Yeah!

Because bonesaw
would want me to.

There's just one
problem with that.

With the rodeo going on,
we are sold out of bmx bikes.

What are we gonna do?

(rattling)

What's in the back room?

Nothing! We can't tell you!
It's an absolute secret.

Behind that door is the most baddest,
untamable bike that ever existed!

Way to keep a secret, razz.
Thanks!

(horse panting)

(whinnying)

Where did it come from? Bmx-ico?

Nobody knows.
It just showed up one day.

Maybe it came from the wild!

Maybe it came from outer space!

Yeah, okay,
probably not outer space.

What we do know is that
everyone who takes on that bike

Goes down hard.

And they never ride again.

Never, dude. Never.

I don't have a choice.

(gasps)

Razz: Welcome to the
skidzeez bmx rodeo!

Today's event is sponsored
by skidzeez ride shop.

Ride hard.

(animal crying)

(horse whinnying)

(yelps)

Buttowski? Thought you were out of the
race due to technical difficulties?

How did you know about that?

No matter. I see you're racing
with the mustang menace.

I would have won but now i'm
gonna win by a landslide.

(all laugh)

Good luck on the menace.

Are we still going to
cheat, boss?

Of course, we are.

Once again,
welcome to the skidzeez bmx rodeo!

I'm razz and he's hush.
Say hello, hush.

Uh, hello.

Today we have a shocking, crazy,
out-of-this-world challenge.

Mellowbrook's own kick buttowski

Will ride the mustang menace!

(spectators gasping)

Having some trouble
there, buttowski?

(laughs) i would have beaten
you on your old bucket of bolts

But there's no way
you'll win on that.

It's not the bike,
it's the rider.

(scoffs) whatevs.

Don't worry, kick,
you can do this.

You just have to remain
determined, focused and...

(sniffs) funnel cake!

One, please.

(groans)

It'll come back.

Nothing ever does.

Razz: Riders, on your ready!

Riders, on your marks!

(air horn sounding) go!

First up on the course,
the bmx bucking chute.

Right out of the gate,
buttowski is dead last!

Like my good friend
hush always says,

"a solid ride is
your truest friend."

But buttowski's got no
friends on the course today.

If things stay like this,

There's no way he'll make
it out of here alive.

Whoa, that mustang menace is
stretching buttowski to his limit.

You could cut that tension with
a knife if that were possible,

But it's not!

Next up is the rodeo
clown half-pipe!

Ooh, a barrel of pain
for rider number 12

And a barrel of laughs for me.

And the mustang menace is pulling
buttowski through every barrel.

Seems like there should be
an extra point for that,

But there's not.

This track is taking
these riders down!

Gibble's in the lead by default

And buttowski's hanging in
there, not by default.

Unbelievable!

It looks like buttowski is
actually taming the menace!

Hush, what's your
take on this madness?

That's why you're the man, man.

Ooh, buttowski's
closing in on gibble.

You're not going to
win, buttowski!

I'm unbeatable,
and fearless, and funny!

(gordon babbling)

Razz: Wow! Look at gibble go!

It's almost like he's
being remote-controlled.

(both chuckling)

(control beeping)

(grunting)

Let's see who survives
the horse's eye.

I think my eye is
stuck like this.

You'll never beat me, buttowski.

(laughing)

Razz: Can you believe this?

Kick buttowski takes the
lead towards the final heat,

The thorn horseshoe!

It is the rider. Plan b.

(screams)

Razz: Oh, no.
Buttowski's lost his bike.

No way he can
finish the race now.

Kick! (cackling) later, loser.

Razz: Buttowski's falling
to a certain death.

He's finished.
He's done for. He's...

Wait. What's this?

Bonesaw's returned.

Buttowski's bike has
caught him in midair!

Bonesaw! But how?

Razz: Can you believe this?

Buttowski is back in
the race on bonesaw,

And riding one-handed, no less!

This is bmx racing
at its finest!

Buttowski wins with a hail
mary assist by bonesaw

And his good friend gunther,

Who apparently is
an expert welder.

Yeah!

(both sobbing)

No!

Dude, you did it!
You got the golden lasso trophy back!

Thanks, guys. But we did it.

And it's not about the trophy.

It's all about the
rider and his bike.

(squeaking)

Hush: I've said it before
and i'll say it again,

A solid ride is
your truest friend.

(sniffs) that's beautiful, hush.

I thought i was
your truest friend.

Awkward.

(screaming)

Hooray!

Well, back to the old
sanctuary that is our garage.

Yeah, and it seems like we
could be in there all night

Working on bonesaw,
by the looks of it.

Yeah well, that "looks of it"

Like your speed crate.

And those look like
your snowboards!

And your old helmets!

And my scab collection!

Finally,
my collection is complete!

Hey. Beat it!

Go on, get out of here!

Huh?

Hey, shut the door, dillweed!

Why are you dressed like
a waiter in my garage?

Your garage?

This is the new rehearsal room

For the up-and-coming
band the yeah brads.

And this hot ensemble

Will have the babes
crying at their own feet.

You look like a windsurfing lawyer!
Now get out!

We'll see who looks like stuff

When the yeah brads win
the battle of the bands!

And after we win,

We'll be using the garage
to hang out with the babes,

Or shoot all our online music videos.
Whichever comes first.

And your junk is in the way.

Wait for me, kick.

(punching sounds)

Gunther, time for plan b.

What's plan b?

We're gonna sign up for
the battle of the bands.

But, kick, we don't have a band!

Then, gunther,
we'll scour the land,

We'll search all of mellowbrook,

We'll recruit people for
the most awesome band

The food 'n' fix has ever seen

To beat brad and
win back our garage.

Okay.

Kick, great news.

I finally found peeps
to be in the band.

You did? Yeah, come on.

Well?

So this is...

You're not in the band!

Like i was saying.

Here we have howie on cello.

(groaning)

That's about all we
get out of him vocally.

This is emo kid,
master of the flute.

And here we have
mary on castanet.

And finally,
the lovely jackie on clarinet.

I play it because it sounds
like your name. Clarence!

Uh, gunther, can i have a
word with you for a moment?

Gunther, these are the
best peeps you could find?

Well, yeah.

They're the only
peeps in mellowbrook

You haven't driven from
your life with your antics.

Wacky jackie: You'll
never drive me away, kick!

I don't know, gunther.
Are you sure?

(grunts) a band's a band's a band's-a!
(growls)

Gunther,
why are you getting so upset?

'Cause that garage is our place!

Our place!

And brad's always
ruining our fun.

(breathes heavily)

And if we don't find
a way to beat him...

Gunther, calm down!

No, no, it just makes me...

That little girl's mad!

(screams) oh, no, he didn't!

(grunting)

(rapping) ♪ yeah, come on. What?

♪ Now i wasn't raised
in a violent way

♪ but this vagabond's going down

♪ callin' me a woman every day

♪ results in you
screamin' out ow!

♪ Always puttin' on a smile,
when all kick does is sit around and frown

♪ you think that i'm the
clown or just the comic relief

♪ when all i want to do
is bite you with my teeth

♪ ch-chic-a,
ch-chic-ch-chicarelli chicarelli!

Whoa, gunther!

♪ Oh, and another thing!
Raisins in my brownies?

♪ Mom, what you thinking?

♪ Can i have a word
with you in the foyer?

♪ On second thought i'd
rather speak to my lawyer

♪ and see the look on her face

♪ as he presents my
case and destroys her

♪ that'll teach her
not to mess with me

♪ and a 1,000-year-old
viking brownie recipe

♪ don't bake it like that
don't bake it like that

♪ why? Huh?
Don't bake it like that,

♪ fool, please

♪ and why does miss
fitzpatrick always say

♪ "gunther you're
slackin' in every way"?

♪ Why do you say
that i'm slackin'

♪ 'cause i choose the back of
your class to do my nappin'?

♪ Then off to the c-to-
the-a-f-to-the-teria

♪ where all the
flavors be lackin',

♪ my lips still smacking
friends crack-a-lacking

♪ and all you haters
will find me packin'...

♪ my lunch ♪

(vocalizing)

Gunther!
Where did you learn how to rap?

Say what? Rap!

Oh, that? That's just how i
complain when i get really upset.

Complaining is what
rap is all about.

Gunther,
you just helped us find our band.

Band: Hooray!

And that band will be
known as the chimi-changas.

And now let's get
my garage back.

One, two, three...

(laughs) what have we here?

Starting your own little band?

You're darn right!

And tonight,
after we beat you at the food 'n' fix,

I'm gonna take my garage back!

You call that a rock band?

More like a group
of people that...

Don't look like a rock band.

(all laugh)

We'd love to stay, but we gotta go
back to our garage and practice.

(grumbles) i can't let brad win.

Must rock.

Everyone,
let's show brad how much we rock.

Those aren't the
instruments anyone plays.

Yeah, yeah, but a band's a band's
a band's-a, right, gunther?

Now, mary,
if you could play the castanets,

Then i'm sure you can keep
the beat on the drums.

But... Howie,

Playing the cello is the
same as playing the bass.

(groaning)

Jackie, you stand here with your guitar.
But, kick, i...

And you here, emo kid.

Kick, everyone's trying
to tell you that...

Grab the mic, gunther.
Okay, let's rock.

It doesn't sound like clarence.
I can't play drums.

You can't just leave!

Now we'll never get
the garage back.

Never! (yells)

What? (cries)

Fine!

Why am i even worried about
the stupid yeah brads?

He's never good at
anything anyway.

Brad: Okay, guys,
just like we practiced.

(music playing) ♪
look into my eyes... ♪

No way.
Even though brad looks lame,

His band is really good!

Horace: Well, brad, thanks for
letting us use our natural talents

And not forcing us
to perform elsewise.

I gotta fix this.

Whoa, slow down, kick.
What's the hurry?

I gotta get the
band back together.

The band back together...

Gunther! I've been looking
for the band everywhere.

(sighs) hey, kick.
What are you doing?

I was just logging
into my new account

On how-to-go-on- with-your-life-after-
your-band-breaks-up-

Gunther, you were right.

I should have let the
band do what they do best.

Not what looks coolest.

It's just too bad you
realized all this now.

You know,
after you drove them all nuts

And they waded into the
sewage water and all.

Don't remind me. I looked everywhere
for them. They could be anywhere.

Or they could be
right under your nose.

What nose? Just think, kick.

Of all the places to go tonight,

Where would the biggest lovers
of music find themselves?

Wade: Welcome to the
battle of the bands.

Up next, rowdy remington.

Thank you, bro.
This song is called my friend.

♪ A-la-la-la-la, my friend
a-la-la-la-la, my friend... ♪

Boo! All: Boo!

Sorry, dude!
The crowd has spoken!

No, my friend. No. (screams)

Kick, look! They're over there,
by that lonely punch bowl.

Hey, guys, room for one more?

Did yous hear something?

Go on.

I'm sorry, guys.

I tried to force you to
be something you're not.

But now i know it's
about being who you are

And doing what you do best.

And that's what a
band is all about.

Wade: Up next,
the chimi-changas.

How about it, guys?

But we don't have
our instruments.

Gunther?

So, what do you say?

Ladies and gentlemen,
the chimi-changas.

Hey, one of the members
isn't doing things.

Disqualification!

He's right, kick.
Everyone needs to perform.

Me, performing?
I hadn't even thought of that.

I don't know instruments...

But i do know garages.

What?

(clattering rhythmically)

Gunther! Yeah, kick?

We need you to start rapping.
About what?

Don't you have anything
to be upset about?

Nope! The band's back together,

We're about to
play, life is great.

Gunther, come on. What about miss
fitzpatrick? Or the cafeteria food?

(growls)

Yeah! Or your mom putting
raisins in your brownies?

(growls) you know she does
that for fiber though.

Dude, come on!
Hey, that little girl can't sing.

(screams)

♪ can't stand it,
when i get a back zit

♪ my mom says,
"stop it" every time i try to pop it

♪ knocked down with
you trying to attack me

♪ you'll find me in
the corner but you

better warn a brother
when you're gonna hate

♪ chic-chica,
chic-chic-ch-chicarelli ch-chicarelli!

Horace, pantsy, stop them.

You didn't finish the song!

Ha! Looks like
you're disqualified.

Sorry, danger dude.
That's the rules.

Doesn't change our friendship though.
(cat yelps)

Up next... The yeah brads!

Better luck next time, losers.

Hey, ladies.

We're the yeah brads,

And this song goes out to
you, woman 52.

(vocalizing)

Almost had him.

We were so close to getting the
garage back. So close! (screams)

Don't worry, gunther.

It's not about the
garage anymore.

We did what we could.
And we made a great band, so...

I just... I just...

♪ i just can't take
another brad sabotage

♪ dressed like a waiter actually
a hater in girly camouflage ♪

♪ the only girl who
can rock my world

♪ take my hand,
let's go and play

♪ take my hand,
let's go and play (record skipping)

♪ take my hand,
let's go and play

Huh? ♪ take my hand,
let's go and play

♪ take my hand,
let's go and play

♪ take my hand...

Look! The yeah-brads
aren't really singing!

They're lip-synching!

Ow! Ripe tomatoes! (screams)

(in autotuned voice) ♪ hey! Kick has
a friend he's an angry little girl

♪ he's the angriest little
girl in the whole wide world

♪ little girl! ♪

(bottle whistling)

I finished. So i win, okay?

(growls) you know what?
I'm over it.

Too bad we didn't
win, huh, kick?

Oh, that doesn't matter, mary.

I don't think the yeah-brads are going to
be practicing in the garage anytime soon.

Which means it's ours again!

(faint rock music)

Hey, kick!
This garage is the perfect spot

For us to get the old
band back together!

Harold, can you keep it down?

Oh, she never lets
me have anything.

Hey, kick, how many brads does
it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know, gunther.

How many brads does it take
to screw in a light bulb?

Seven.