Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 2, Episode 22 - Trash Talk/Nerves of Steal - full transcript

Kick must keep a stretch of highway litter free.

♪ Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski, buttowski

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick buttowski! ♪

This should do it, gunther.

Mom said i get 10 cents for
every trash bag i take out.

Ten bags, ten dimes.

(gasps) do you have any idea
what we could do with 10 dimes?

We could buy, like,
a whole dollar!

Do you have any idea how
many dimes we could buy

With a whole dollar?

Okay. Ready, gunther?

Ready, kick!

Uh-oh. On second thought,

I think i saw some dimes
in the couch cushions.

I found a quarter! Cool.

Wait a minute, gunther,
that's just a chewed up piece of gum.

So it is.

Oh, well.

(doorbell rings)

Oh, no, dirty cops!

I believe this trash
belongs to you.

And how do you know this
trash belongs to me?

(chuckling nervously)

Who's got two thumbs and is
making his first arrest today?

This guy.

Holster those thumbs, irwin.
Nobody's gettin' arrested.

Aw, man! I never get to
arrest people or go undercover

Or slide across the hood.

There, there. You will someday.

The punishment for
littering is a hefty fine.

Where are your parents?

They can't afford a fine!
Just look at their bills.

He's right, they're broke!

Hmm. Well, i'm sure we can find
another way to settle this.

(car horn honking)

You two are on
highway cleanup duty.

The ugly side of
"protect and serve."

Unlike arresting hooligans
and sliding across hoods!

Ooh, i wanna arrest
me some hooligans...

Like you!

Irwin! Now, this mile is
infamous for its litterbugs.

We've cleaned this highway top
to bottom at least 16 times.

But it always gets
trashed again right away.

By punks like you!

You need to make sure
your side looks like that.

Yep. We call that
"chuck glarman clean."

Chuck glarman?
Did somebody say chuck glarman?

'Cause if they didn't,
chuck glarman's gonna need a doctor.

Luckily, i go to the best one in town.
Dr. Chuck glarman.

One patient.

Chuck glarman.

Hey, chuck glarman,
you mind keeping an eye on these boys?


It would be my pleasure to
help you fine public servants.

Chuck glarman loves some
extra responsibility.

Nothing says chuck glarman
like extra responsibility.

And nothing says extra
responsibility like chuck glarman.

Chuck glarman cleans
his road all the time.

Chuck glarman
thrives on challenge.

And how do you get her so
clean, chuck?

Yeah, what's your secret?

Secret? Ha!
Chuck glarman has no secrets.

He's just always on
guard to keep his...


A bird just soiled chuck
glarman's divider line.

Nobody soils chuck
glarman's divider line.


Psst, psst, psst!

Scrub, scrub, scrub,
scrub, scrub...

Now if you boys get this
highway "chuck glarman clean,"

We might reconsider that fine.

In the meantime,
i'll think about

Slappin' a cold set of handcuffs
on your pretty little hands!

Why, thank you!
I moisturize a lot.

And done.


Great work, gunther.

Margaret dumont of the
mellowbrook garden society.

I just adore what you've done
with your side of the highway.

Finally, someone's giving
that chuck glarman a run

For this year's earth
day clean highway award.

See you at the judging.

Ooh! Getting arrested
has its perks.

Let's go, gunther. Time to show
officers mack and irwin our hard work.

No one gives chuck glarman
a run for his money!

Chuck glarman always
wins the earth day award.

Uh, chuck glarman.

Here we are.
Presenting a super clean highway.


Is this your idea of a joke?

No, this is my idea of a joke.

A senator, a monkey,
and a race-car driver

Walk into the natural
history museum.

It was clean when
we left yesterday!

We are hurtling toward a
beat-down situation here.

Well, maybe not a
beat-down situation.

Okay, maybe not.
But i will arrest you.

So good.

And you'll be like, "oh,
please don't send me

"to the slammer,
mr. Big city police officer."

And i'll be like,
"don't you push my buttons, punk."

And you'll be like, "waa!

And i'll be like,
"you have the right to remain arrested."

Now, now,
they have until friday.

But if it's not clean by then,

We may have to do
things irwin's way.

Now get back to work!

There's no way this is
just last night's litter.

Someone's gotta be
trashing this highway.

Brad? Gordie? Miss chicarelli?

Or a giant robot of
all your enemies.

Awesome, but unlikely.

(gasps) pinata!

don't make any sudden moves.

We don't want to scare it off.

Gunther, wait! Don't you think
it's a little suspicious?

Besides, remember what we
learned in spanish class?

(in spanish)

No comprendo!

Gunther, that's garbage!

That's what parents say about
anything that tastes good.

No, gunther.
I mean, you're eating garbage.

Part of me knew that, kick.

This seems fishy.

Maybe that silhouetted
man knows something.

Huh? (laughing evilly)

What's going on?

Gunther: And why is our side so trashed
when chuck's side looks spotless?

I wouldn't be surprised if
chuck glarman was the one

Responsible for all this trash.

(laughing) that's right.
It was chuck glarman.

Little chucky
glarman's mommy said

They'd take his room away
if he didn't clean it,

But little chucky
glarman didn't listen.

Little chucky glarman
was a dirty little boy.

(machinery whirring)

And then mellowbrook
ran this highway

Right over little
chucky glarman's house!

Little chucky glarman never
got to finish cleaning!

So that's why big chuck
glarman makes sure

The highway stays
clean forever and ever.

Isn't that right,
my little earth day trophies?

(growls) and no one's side is
gonna stay cleaner than mine.

(car horn honking)


Well, that's not so bad.

Pfft. We'll have this
cleaned up in no time.

(laughing evilly)

I'm gonna stop talking now.

What are we gonna do?

Officers mack and irwin are gonna check
our work first thing tomorrow morning.

Why don't we just tell them that
chuck keeps trashing our highway?

Because they won't believe us.

We need to make a plan.

And we can't do that here.
Let's go.

Okay, gunther, here's the plan.

(laughing) chuck glarman!

(school bell ringing)

So, the plan is...

(laughing) chuck glarman!

Finally! A place we can talk.

So when we get to the...

(laughing) chuck glarman!


Chuck glarman!

Chuck glarman!

Okay, chuck,
what do we have to do

So you'll stop
trashing our highway?

What do you have to do?
Oh, i know exactly what you have to do!

Grow up, become police
officers, and arrest me!


Chuck glarman!

Gunther, i have an idea.
But i'll need a white flag.

Here you go.

I surrender a lot to temptation.

Chuck, we give up.
We'll never come near this highway again.

You don't look like
the giving up type.

I'll prove it. Gunther?

But if you ever come back...

Then you can pelt us
with everything you got.

Gather around, little trophies!
Come on, gather close.

Let papa chuck tell you a
story about clean gutters.

What's that, trophies?

You want a new trophy-friend?

Well, today's the day i...

Huh? Where?

What the glarman!

I knew they wouldn't
be able to stay away!

Time for a pelting!

(laughing maliciously)

I send the trash there,
and the trophies go here!



Mommy glarman!

Irwin, after you.

My first arrest!
And i got to go deep undercover!

And i slid on the
hood of the squad car!

Today, i am a man.

But how did you know?

I guess you could
say the shoe fit.

Thanks, boys.

Here's your prize.

Thanks, but this really belongs
to officers mack and irwin.

They cleaned the highway first.
And they deserve it.

Wow, thank you, kick!

That's really great of you!

Awards really aren't my thing.

And the $10,000 check
that goes with it.


Wow! Think of all the
dimes we could have bought.

Chuck glarman's still
keeping his highway clean.

Huh? Chuck glarman!


Took care of the trash, mom.

Okay, gunther,
time to live my lifelong dream

Of para-boarding
over the cul-de-sac!

Let's do this!


It's happening! I'm doing it.

(fabric tearing)


I got you, kick.

Hey, a nickel!


So you wanna go get ice-creams?

And give up my
para-boarding dreams?

What i need is something
stronger than mom's bed sheet

That can handle the g-forces!

You mean like
mr. Vickle's hammock?




Mud bath time already?

No, mr. Vickle. It's me.

Oh, kick!

I need a flexible material
that is durable enough

To sustain significant

While minimizing wind resistance
and maximizing aerial propulsion.

But everything i use rips,

And i noticed your hammock
can bear some serious weight.

In english, kid!

Can i please borrow
your hammock?

No! Go find something
else large and supportive!

My car cover? I couldn't possibly
lend my car cover for a stunt.

It took me years to crochet it.

You wanna borrow my
report card quilt?

Is that what that thing is? Yes.

So can i borrow it?

No! Toodles!

My tankini lumberjack flag?
Not on your life, dillweed.

Dillweed! I changed my mind.

You can have my flag.

Yeah! You can have it like this!


Yeah, flag!

I will not rest until i
find the proper material

To make my para-boarding
dream a reality.

No! No!

Man 1: No! Man 2: No!

Man 3: No! Woman: No!

I don't know, kick. Maybe this
epic stunt just wasn't meant to be.

I won't give up now, gunther.

But you need some rest.


Because you haven't
slept in three days.


Good night, sweet angel.


(birds twittering)

Mr. Vickle: Citizen's arrest!

Help! Police!

Take it easy, mr. V.
What happened?

You stole my hammock!

What? No, i didn't!

Hammock stealer!

(all clamoring)

There is a thief
in our cul-de-sac.

Give me a break!
There's no thief!

If there was a thief,

The most important thing in the
cul-de-sac would be missing.

My tankini lumberjack flag.

What tankini lumberjack flag?

Thief! Thief!

Well, buttowski, it's a fact.
You're the thief.

Come now, mr. Vickle.
What makes you think

He's the one who
stole your hammock?

For the very same reason
he wanted all your stuff.

For stunts.

(all clamoring) i'm telling
you, i didn't steal anything.

I was asleep.

It's true! I know 'cause i tucked
him in with my blankie-wankie.

I mean, my moose pelt. He-he!

Oh, come on. Listen.

Sure, i tear up your
yards, track up your walls,

And even stand on
your mailboxes.

But i do not steal.

Okay, buttowski. Prove it.

Oh, i'll prove i'm not a thief

By starting a
neighborhood watch.

It's time to put the cul-de-sac

On lockdown!

Hold it, gunther.

What do we have here?

(siren wailing)

Well, well, well, mr. Magnuson.

Mr. Vickle loses a hammock,

And now you're sleeping in one!

You stole this hammock!

Hammock is precious heirloom.

Has been in family
tree for generations.

Hah! Likely story.

Um, actually, kick,
that is my dad's hammock.

Yeah? It still has the stain

From my unfortunate nap-cident.


Don't judge me.


So, dad,
if that's your real name.

Oh, hi, kick.

Where you off to tonight?

Picking up a pizza
at don zaza's.

Pepperoni and pineapple.
Your favorite!

Okay, his story checks out.

Open the gate, gunther.

Pizza, hmm?

I'll track him anyway
using my g.P.S.

Gunther positioning system!

Halt! You have to sign out if
you want to leave the cul-de-sac.

I don't take orders
from dillweeds.

We got us a resister.
Taze him, gunther!

(makes buzzing sound)

Ooh, i'm so scared!
Don't taze me, bro!

(laughing) oh, stop!
That tickles!

No, stop!

Wait! No! Stop! Hurts!


Hold it right there, buttowski!

We've had enough
of your bullying!

(crowd clamoring)

How is this proving
you're not the thief?

I think you're just
avoiding the obvious!

He's right!
You're still the prime suspect!

We should start our
own neighborhood watch.

Us watching you.

Let's taze him!
(gunther buzzing)



But i'm not the thief.

Please, i'm begging you.

Just one more night and
i'll prove it to you.

Give him one more night. Please!

Okay. You get one more night.

But if you don't catch the
thief, we're calling the police!

Yeah, dillweed. Taze.

This is serious, gunther.

Everyone still
thinks i'm the thief.

I've got to clear my
name with the neighbors.

We've got to catch
the thief in the act.

And the only way to
do that is a stakeout.

Then i'm gonna need
some steak sauce.

No way the thief
will get past this.

But we'll have to take shifts on
watch duty and stay up all night.

You take the first shift
and i'll take the red eye.


(singsong) blankie-wankie.
I mean, moose pelt.

Right. I'll watch first.




Somebody stole my
report card quilt!

(miss chicarelli screaming)

Someone stole my car cover!

(screams) someone stole my blankie-wankie!
I mean, moose pelt.


All: (chanting) thief! Thief!
Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief!

You gotta believe me!
I'm not the thief!

And i can prove it!

I installed security cameras
all over the cul-de-sac.

All i have to do is
check the footage,

And we'll have our thief!

And when we find out who it
is, we'll cover him with honey.

All: Yay!

Roll him in bees.

All: Yay!

And ride him out of town
on a seat-less bike!

All: Ooh.

And now,
i will review this video,

And we'll find out
who the real thief is.

I'm the thief? Impossible!

But i'm asleep! I'm sleep-stealing?
It can't be!

Or can it?

But why would i steal
everybody's stuff?

(kick on tape) chimichanga!

I'm para-boarding
with kendall's quilt,

Chicarelli's car cover.

(crashing) (cat yells)

Who's the culprit, buttowski?

Yeah, bring out the evidence.

They were right.

Not only am i a failed
para-boarder, but also a thief.

I even took gunther's blankie.

I mean, moose pelt.

His flexible pelt
that's durable enough

To sustain significant
acceleration while...

Huh! Time to clear my name.

And realize my dream
while doing it.


Vickle's hammock.

Kendall's report card quilt.

Brad's flag.

And chicarelli's car cover.

Mission accomplished.

And now to quietly get
gunther's pelt back.

Gunther: Blankie-wankie,
is that you?

It is you!

Listen, gunther. I'm the thief.
I stole everything.

Even my blankie-wank...
Moose pelt?

Yes. But i was sleep-stealing.

I've returned everything i took.

I guess i was trying to
para-board in my sleep.

And you did it with my blankie...
My moose pelt?

Okay, fine!
I'm tired of living a lie.

It is my blankie-wankie.

Do you hear me, world?

This is my blankie-wankie!

It was you, miss chicarelli!
You stole my hammock!

Well, he stole my car cover!

Kendall stole my limited
edition tankini lumberjack flag!

So? Mr. Vickle stole
my report card quilt!

Oh, no. I've gotta stop this.
(neighbors bickering)

I have to tell them it was me.

But they'll rip you apart!

If you can be a man and admit your
pelt is actually a blankie-wankie,

Then i can face this
blood-thirsty mob.

So you see, it was me.

You've all got your stuff back,

And now we can forget all about
the trouble i put you through

And go back to our
boring, normal lives.



(bees buzzing)


(tv playing)

Taze. (screaming)