Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 2, Episode 2 - Clean... To the Extreme/Stand and Delivery - full transcript

Kick must complete a favor chain to restore a broken Foosball table.

♪ Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski, buttowski

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick buttowski! ♪

I've conquered land
and i've conquered air,

And now it's time
to conquer water.

Uh, wade? Faster!


Sorry, amigo.

Precision timing
is not my forte.

For example,
i was supposed to be at work

Three hours ago.

So how'd it go?

What do you think?

But i was counting
on that stunt!

The kick buttowski
museum of awesome

Desperately needs a new exhibit.

Attendance is dwindling!

Are you sure? I'll elaborate.

In the last six months,

The total number of
visitors has been


We need a new stunt exhibit
in here or we're doomed!

Or maybe we can install
a teleportation device.

(both scream)

(both shudder)

We've got to have a new exhibit.

Maybe there's some awesome
artifacts around your house

That we could use.

I guess there might
be some in the attic.

Great! I'll hit the
teleportation switch.

Ooh! Are we there?

Hey! A trophy!

Did you win this for
doing something awesome?

Naw. It's my dad's.

In school he won the
award for "most cautious."

He put it up here because he was
afraid someone would trip over it.

What's this?

Wow! That'll look great
in the museum of awesome.

This isn't my helmet.

Who's "h"?

Well, my dad's name is harold.

Now, listen, be very,
very careful out there.

Someone could get hurt.

This really looks more
like a woman's costume.

What's your mom's first name?

Don't be shy, sugar.
Just tell me.

No! My mom's name is honey.

But could it be hers?

There's a video in here, too.

I wonder what's on it.

She's fast! She's daring!

She's greased
lightning on water!

Attempting to break the
land speed record, on water,

This speed boating demon makes
a splash wherever she goes.


she's known as honey buttowski...


But known to her
fans as honey splash!

Such speed!
Such precision timing!

Such glistening rhinestones!

do you realize what this means?

Your mom's an
elvis impersonator?

No! It means i've got someone

To drive the boat for my stunt!

Elvis? Come on, let's go!

Mom! Mom! Is this yours?

(gasps) yes... No.

(stammers) i don't know.

I mean, i've never seen
that before in my life.

I have to go now.

She's not fooling anybody.

She will drive that boat.

(doorbell ringing) coming!

(gasps) is that the...

X9-3000? Yup.

With a 5,000 seahorse-power v-8?

Hydrodynamic body styling.

With water-cooled turbo
charged dual aqua-boosters!

So the suit is yours, then.

Uh, yes.

And you'll drive the
boat for my stunt?

I'm sorry, kick. I just can't.

Yes, you can!

I saw the video!
You're honey splash!

But have you seen
the whole video?

Honey splash was poised to break
the land speed record, on water,

Until a sudden tragic
injury cut her dream short.

(screams) can't move!


I tore my tendonacious
ligamental flexor.

Ouch. You know what
she's talking about?

No, i just sat on a rhinestone.

I'm sorry, mom. I didn't know.

I won't bug you anymore.

Well, that is an awfully
nice boat out there.


And my tendonacious
ligamental flexor

Does seem to be on the mend.


Maybe one little
outing wouldn't hurt.

I like where you're
going with this.

Let's do it! Yes!

I believe this outfit is
rightfully yours, milady.

Uh, thank you, gunther, but aren't
you going to need something to wear?

No, i was wearing my
clothes under the suit.

Uh, guess again.

You mean i'm standing
here in my underwear?

Uh, guess again.

(chuckles nervously)

(screams) (crashing)

Man: His nakedness! It burns!

Mom, we don't have to wait

For you to wash that
jumpsuit, do we?

Uh, guess again.

Oh, i hope i remember how
to drive one of these.

(revving engine)

Honey: Okay, kick.
Let's do this thing!

But be careful, sweetie.

Where is she?

That stunt was awesome!
Thanks, mom.

(chuckles) wow, what a rush!

I'd forgotten how
great it feels,

And i really like it.

Gunther: Here it is, kick!

The all-new speedboat
trampoline exhibit.

All that's left is to
open up to the public.

(crowd cheering) i can
hear the crowd already.

Come one, come all,

To the new exhibit at the
kick buttowski museum of


So, honey splash,

What brought you back to speed
boating after all these years?

What's going on, mom?

What's going on?

Honey splash is attempting to break
the land speed record, on water.

And who are you, little guy?

Oh, this is my son,
clarence buttowski.

He's the whole reason
i'm doing this!

Crowd: Aw!

Well, clarence, how does it feel
to have a daredevil in the family?

(chuckles) actually,
i'm the daredevil in the family.

(laughs) i'm sure you are.

Following in mommy's footsteps.

(crowd laughing)
look at mama's boy.

He's even wearing a miniature
honey splash outfit.

This is my own jumpsuit.

I'm the daredevil.

So cute.

Well, just don't get lost

In all your mom's awesomeness

When she breaks the land speed
record, on water!


Care to say anything
to your adoring fans

Before the big event?

Oh, no. I couldn't really...

Look out, mellowbrook,

'cause honey splash is back!

Come on, kick!
Aren't you coming to see your mom

Break the land speed
record, on water?

I just can't. Why not?

Mom being awesome somehow
makes me less awesome.

Since when does
awesome plus awesome

Equal less awesome?

Last time i checked,
awesome plus awesome equals...

More awesome.
It's simple arithmetic.

You should support her.

She's always supported you.

Honey splash was poised to break
the land speed record, on water,

Until a sudden tragic
injury cut her dream short.

(screams) can't move!

Honey: Do you like it?

Well, i know how much
you love your stunts,

So i made this to show you
how much i support you.

You really are awesome, mom.

Gunther was right.
Now it's my turn to support mom.

Reporter: Here we are, folks!

Honey splash is about to
splash back onto the scene.

looks like she's about to go!

Woo-hoo! That's my mom!

Twenty years later,
honey splash is one switch flip away

From breaking the record.

(screams) my tendonacious
ligamental flexor!

Can't move!

Something must be wrong.

If she doesn't stop,
she's gonna hit that mountain!

(all gasping)


Now that is some
precision timing.

Dang. Late for work again.



(all cheering)

Mom. I'm so sorry.

Why, kick? You just saved me.

No, mom.
Because i thought somehow

You being awesome would
make me less awesome.

But that's not true.

Awesome plus awesome
just equals more awesome.

We're awesome. Oh, no.

I might be fast, but you,
you're something special.

You've got an ability
like no one else.

You're one of a kind, kick.

My days of racing are over.

I'll leave the stunts to the
real daredevil of the family.

Thanks, mom.

But we have to keep the legacy
of honey splash alive somehow.

And i know just the way.

All: Ooh!



Stop being dramatic, kick.

We're just going
shopping at the mall.



I have no time
for your nonsense.

I can't believe we waited
till the last minute

To get your suit for
aunt sally's wedding!

But mom,
i already have an awesome suit.

We're getting you a real suit.

You can't pick out
clothes for me.

I'm practically a grown man.

I pick out your
father's clothes.

Hello, family!

Well, i'm not going to the mall.

No way, no how.

How many of aunt sally's
weddings do i have to go to?

Oh, come on, kick.

This year, i'm in charge
of aunt sally's wedding.

You and your cousin kyle always
make the cutest co-ring bearers.


I just want to make it as loving
and wonderful as possible.

Because the sixth time
better be the charm!

Kick! Kick! Where are you going?

We're ready for the
super awesome bike jump.

We have to get the
ramp back to the owner

Before he finds out it's gone.

Don't worry, gunther.
I'll be back.

Right after i go
clothes shopping.


Until then, just keep an
eye on the "u" until i...

You can count on me.


You punk kid!

Not today, kick.

I have to find you a suit.

I don't have time for
you to be difficult.

Me? Difficult?


Yee haw! Ride 'em, cowboy!

(sighs) i love that bear.

I should text him.

Oh, if i can't find you a suit,

I just don't know what i'll do.

I have to pick out a
wedding cake and the flowers

And find a mariachi band that
can play here comes the bride.

And if i can't find you a suit,

This wedding will
be all for nothing.

And i, uh...

(blowing raspberries)


Okay, mom! Okay, okay!

We're just here to get the suit.
Nothing else.

I don't want you to worry.
You can count on me.

The suit and nothing else.

Oh, thank you, kick!
You have no idea how helpful this is.

A free t-shirt to anyone brave
enough to test-ride the x-3000!

Anyone with a
jumpsuit and helmet

Wanna try indoor
skydiving, free?

Free year's supply
of cheetah chug

To anyone who knows billy
stumps' middle name.

Mom? (chuckles) a little help?


Oh, so many styles
to choose from.

Guess we'll just
have to try them all.

No! (grunts) i mean...

the sooner we find you a suit,

The sooner we can
get out of here.

Oh, in that case...

Let's buy this
sucker and go home.

No. No?

Come on, mom, please.
This one is perfect.

It's two sizes too big.

But i know where we can find
something that will fit you.

No! Not that!

Man on pa: Attention!
There's a 2%-off sale

In the men's short
and squat department.

I think i found one.

Oh, it's going to
fit you perfectly.

Mom, someone could see me.

Hold still, kick.

Oh, thank goodness.
It's the very last one.

Oh, isn't he just
as cute as a button.

He's in a wedding today.

I could just put
him in my pocket.

You know, we have such a hard
time finding clothes for him.

He's very small for his age.

Okay, mom, mom, mom, we get it.

Can we get out of here?

Okay, kick. Fine.

Great. You go pay for it,
i'll go hide in the car.

I don't wanna be in this store
any longer than i have...

Oh, that would look
great on your father.

hold this and wait in line,

While i check this out.

But, mom, what if someone sees
me with this stupid monkey suit?

It's not stupid, kick.
And i'll just be a minute.

Oh, i hope it comes
in leopard print.

I'll go wait in line.

You pick that suit
up off the floor!

And don't let that
thing out of your sight!

Oh, i just don't know what
i'd do if we lost that suit.

Okay! Okay. Gee!

Yo, yo, danger dude! Wade?

Hey! Getting some new threads?

This suit? Totally not mine.

You know i don't wear lame stuff.
I'm just holding it.

What are you doing here?
Just looking for a new shirt.

Oh, yeah, and some pants.

Oh, and in my size too.

Where's the fitting room?

How do i look?


"Short 'n squat"?

Aw, buttowski,
what a lovely little suit you got there!

What's the occasion?
Being a loser?

Yeah. And imported double-breasted
suits are so last year.


Uh, i mean, you smell funny.

And you're really short.

Both: Yeah.

Hey, look.
There's a sale on cologne.

Both: What?
To the cologne counter.

Because people in
the next county

Can't smell you with the
whole bottle you have on now.

At least the worst is behind me.

(gasps) kendall?

Aw, that suit'll
look cute on you.

Cute? I don't do cute.

I hate suits,
i hate shopping and i hate malls.

So can you leave me
alone with this suit?

Because it's the last one.

And if anything happens to
it, my mom will have a cow!

Clarence, you're such a freak!

(exhales deeply)

It's gone.

It's the last one!

Kick, how could you?


I gotta find that suit!

(gasps) the suit!

Save my spot?


You punk kid!

(muzak playing)

You punk kid!


You punk kid!

Kick: Litterbug!


(exhales deeply)

A free t-shirt to anyone brave
enough to test-ride the x-3000!

Here, wade!

Thanks, danger dude!

(exclaims) oh, you punk kid!

You punk! You punk!
You punk kid!


You punk kid!

That's right, folks!
Hamster clearance sale!

(all screaming)

All right, time to go, kick.

Ooh, garter socks.

(screams) giant hamster!

(children screaming)


You punk kid!

Have you seen my son?
He was right here!

Oh, kick! I was so worried that
something happened to you and that suit.

I don't know what i'd do.

I know, mom.
Which is why it's right here,

Safe and sound, like i promised.

Oh, i'm so proud of you.

Thanks, mom. And you know,

I think i might have picked up a
little something extra for you.

Like what. A new cummerbund?

Like maybe something you'd like.

(cheetah snarling)

(gasps) a year's
supply of cheetah chug?

But the only way to win this is
to know billy stumps' middle name.

And how would you know that?

Because my son just happens to
be kick buttowski, that's how.

By the way, what do you think
of your dad's new underwear?

Ew! Mom! Come on. Gross.

I didn't need to see that.

Hey, kick, is that a new suit?

Wow, i really like that new suit.
Looks snazzy.

You look really
handsome in that suit.

Really sharp. Right, left, right.
Or is it left, left...

Punk kids!