Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 2, Episode 19 - Sleepy River Wild/Power Play - full transcript

♪ Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski, buttowski

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick buttowski! ♪

(all screaming)


This place is so amazing!

Come on, gunther!
Aquatic fun awaits.

Those rides aren't fun for me.

All i've ever wanted to do is to take
a calm trip down the old sleepy river.

Sleepy river's boring!

we can go on the sleepy river

After we hit all the cool rides.

You always say that!

But you always get us kicked out
before i get to do what i want.


(whistle blowing)


(whistle blowing)


(whistle blowing)

Fine, gunther. This time we'll
ride the sleepy river first.


Do you promise?

'Cause i wanna ride it all
the way around the park.

(sighs) gunther, i promise.

One complete loop on the sleepy
river before we go on any fun rides.

Yay! And i know you'll
stick to your promise.

Because you're a man of your
word, kick.

You'd never break a
promise to your best bud.

(announcer reading)

(sighs) this is even better
than i imagined, kick.

Yeah. Amazing.

In fact, think i'll take
a little nordic nap.

You do that.

And my slumber
robe is now secure.

Wake me up when we finish
our sleepy river lap.


Hey! It happened again!

(all exclaiming)




Watch it, river hog!


You're a man of your word, kick.

And you'd never break a
promise to your best bud.

Technically, this canal is
part of the sleepy river.

Maybe sleepy river isn't gonna
be so sleepy after all...

So where's the danger?
This is false...

This is more like it!



And gunther's still asleep.

What's this ride called, anyway?


(gasps) uh-oh.
Better get out of here.


Okay. That was fun.
Time to get gunther back to the...




I know this smell.
We're in the mellowbrook sewer!

And that means


Don't eat my gunther!

Or wake him up.

(stifles yell)


They're leaving!
I did it! (gasps)

And gunther's in one
piece, and still asleep!

I'm still a man of my word!

He'll never know we ever
left the sleepy river.


This isn't fun anymore!

We're saved! Hey, gunther...


He woke up!

Gunther! Gunther! Wait! Gunther!

Stop, please!
Gunther, i'm so sorry!

I should have just
kept my promise!

I hope you forgive me!

Gunther, please stop!


He's sleepwalking?
My promise is still alive.





(both snoring)



(bear growling)



You sleep-eat, too?

And where'd you get pancakes?


Who's been eatin' my pancakes?


Well, sir, there's actually a
real funny explanation for that.

You see, my friend...

I'm gonna get you!

(chuckles unhappily)


I'm gonna get you!


That's right!
Who's the big man now?

That's right baby,
i'm talking to you!


Adios, tiny!

Gunther, when you wake up, remind me
to add this to the book of awesome.

Of course.

Those nordic naps are powerful.

Where the heck are we?

Gunther! No sleep-nibbling!

(lumberjack yelling)


I'm gonna get you!




Well, i guess this is it.

This is all my fault.

Gunther, i'm sorry.

I took a detour off
the sleepy river.

I should have just
kept my promise.

My promise to my best bud.

I hope you forgive me!


I said, "watch it,
river hog!" we just lapped ya!

We're back! We're back!
We're back! We're...


Wow! What a refreshing
trip down old sleepy river.

Don't you think so, kick?


Aw, you kept your promise.

Ooh! And now let's
do what you want!

Oh, he's gonna be so
surprised when he wakes up!

Gunther: Hmm...
This is kind of a disappointment...

(gunther screams)

(bell rings)

"romeo, o, romeo.
Wherefore art thou, romeo?"

"o, speak again, bright angel!"

Please don't speak again.

"What's in a name?

"That which we call a rose by any
other name would smell as sweet."

I'll say something smells.

"With love's light wings did
i o'er-perch these walls."

Feels more like i'm
perched on a seatless bike.

That's it,
i can't handle any more drama.

Mr. Huang does not
just teach drama.

Mr. Huang is also a master
of the dramatic entrance.

Time for my dramatic exit.

Kick, theater is like...

It is like food for our souls.

My soul's not hungry.

Theater is a place where
you can transform yourself.

You could be a pirate, perhaps.

Or a gentleman suitor.

Or a cat.


I just don't think
i'm cut out for this.

Oh, kick, obviously you and i don't share
the same passion for the dramatic arts

But it is my duty as your teacher
to involve all of my students.


You're going to have to
be ronaldo's understudy.

Does that involve studying?

No, but it does
involve doing nothing.

I'm listening.

Unless, of course,
something were to happen to ronaldo,

In which case,
you would take his place on stage.

As romeo. Romeo?

"Romeo! O, romeo!"


No! Anything but that.


Kick, the understudy
is a crucial role.

You are the go-to guy if
something happens to ronaldo.

But if nothing happens to him,
i don't have to play romeo, right?

Well, technically, no.

But you do need to learn
all of your lines...

Don't worry, kick,
you won't have to.

If ronaldo can't go on,
i'll distract the audience with this.

(chanting a-rhythmically)

Get out! Those sideshow antics
have no place in my theater.

Real thespians take
acting seriously.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

"but, soft! What light
through yonder window breaks?

"It is the east,
and juliet is the sun.

"Arise, fair sun..."

(chuckles) looks like something's
about to happen to ronaldo.

Mr. Huang: Unless, of course,
something were to happen to ronaldo...

"arise, fair..."

(exclaims) i'm in too much
pain to do the school play.

Put in the understudy!

"O, romeo!"


"and kill the envious moon,
who is already sick and pale with grief,

"that thou, her maid,
art far more fair than she.

"Be not her maid,
since she is envious...

"her vestal livery
is but sick and green

"and none but fools do wear
it, cast it off.

"It is my lady,
o, it is my love!

"O, that she knew she were!

"She speaks yet she says
nothing, what of that?

"Her eye discourses,
i will answer it.

"I am too bold,
'tis not to me she speaks.


"two of the fairest
stars in all the heaven,

"having some business,
do entreat her eyes

"to twinkle in their
spheres till they return.

"What if her eyes were there,

"they in her head? The brightness of
her cheek would shame those stars,

"as daylight doth a lamp,
her eyes in heaven would

"through the airy
region stream so bright

"that birds would sing and...

"see, how she leans her
cheek upon her hand!"

Doesn't he ever look up?

"O, that i were a
glove upon that hand,

"that i might touch that cheek!"

What, did you bite it
on some stunt again?

(laughs) dork.

"How oft when men..."

What could happen
to ronaldo in here?

Ah... Ah...



(distorted) no!

(all grumbling)

I'm allergic to hand sanitizer.

"But, soft! What light
through yonder window breaks?

"It is the east,
and juliet is the sun.

"Arise, fair sun,
and kill the envious moon..."



Ronaldo: "who is
already sick..."

I gotta do something about this.

That ought to keep you safe.

Keep me safe?
Buttowski, what are you talking about?

Wait a minute,
are you protecting me?

Me? Sheesh. No.

It all makes sense now. You must protect
me or you go from understudy to romeo.

Okay, fine. I'm protecting you.

But just until
this play is over.

Then you're on your own.

With buttowski as my bodyguard,

I can do all the things i
didn't dare try on my own.

How delicious!

(laughs) (bubble wrap pops)

This isn't gonna end well.

So, understudy,
unless you want to play romeo,

You better keep me safe
while i finally take on

The park's most dangerous ride,

The wiggler! The wiggler?

The wiggler!

(laughs) how is that dangerous?


You know the rules, egghead.

Nobody rides the wiggler but us.

Take it up with my understudy.

He said i could ride it.

Toddlers, ronaldo?
You need protection from toddlers?

Hey! Ah! The juice! It burns!

How glorious, buttowski!
With you watching my back,

I can do everything i've always wanted.
I can dare to be exciting!

No more fear. No more pain!
At least for me.

Kick: No!

Kick: Are you sure
wanna take those off?

Of course i do, romeo.

This is so much fun! Whoo-hoo!


Losing control!
Help! Understudy!





Yay! Wasn't that fun?

I could really get used to this.

Where is it, nerdweed?

About your homework, brad.
I won't be doing it anymore.

Hey! Those are recyclable.
And now i'm gonna recycle your face.

My understudy will be handling all
your homework requests from now on.

Isn't that right, kick?

I'm not doing brad's homework.

Oh dear! After brad beats me up,
who will take my place as romeo?

(sighs) okay, you win.
Let's have it.

Brad: Page 287. Problems 1-100.
And show your work!

I've always wondered what would
happen if you mixed fruity fizzies

With nitroglycerin!

Incredible! But a scientist
always double-checks his results.

That's it!

(students gasp)

(all screaming)

Be a shame if something
were to happen to me now.

Oh, well.
I'm sure you'll make a great romeo.

Hey! This is our game!
Beat it, ronal-dork!

Sorry, dipoopsies. It's my turn.

Prepare to be pulverized, punk!


Yes, ronaldo.

Would you mind taking my
beating while i finish my game?

Of course.


Announcer: Dipazzi punch!

Dual dead-arm!

Twin toe twister!

Sibling slam!

♪ Go,
ronaldo it's your birthday! ♪

Places, people! Places!

(sighs) i made it!
I don't have to be romeo!

O romeo, romeo!
Wherefore art thou romeo?

O, speak again, bright angel!
For thou art

As glorious to this
night, being o'er my head,

As is a winged
messenger from heaven...


Ronaldo can't continue.

My play will be ruined.
Unless we bring in the understudy.

The understudy?

The understudy!

O romeo, romeo!
Wherefore art thou romeo?

(sighs) i could have sworn
i put that peg in tight...

Dear me,
how did this come loose?

And now for that kiss.

(gasps) oh, no. Not that!

Oh, sweet sorrow.

Not the understudy, too,
now my play is ruined!

No, it isn't.

(chanting a-rhythmically)

(all cheering)

Well, if you can't beat
them, join them.

(both exclaiming)