Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 7 - Snowpocalypse/According to Chimp - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪


[alarm blaring]

[wind howling]

Ready, gunther?

We vikings are born ready.

It's... it's beautiful!

This is gonna be the
best snow day ever.

[horn blaring]

Hop aboard, boys.

Why? Time...

For... School.

Time for what now? Yowza!

The entire planet
is covered in snow.

Every school on earth is closed.

Uh, except mellowbrook.

Ooh, this weather is so bracing.

It gets me primed for learning.

That's why i had daddy call
and demand to keep school open.

[groans] kendall.

[brad] okay, gang, buckle up.

Next stop is
mellowbrook elementary.

And remember, everyone just
sits still and stays safe.

We must always
keep safety first.

Especially when we're
going up a giant ramp.

A ramp?

Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

[all screaming]


Okay, take it easy.


[brakes screeching]

Ooh! Well, that was close.



[teeth chattering] [beeps]

Breaker, breaker.

This here's brad hollard.
Come in. Over.

[static] radio's out.

What are we going to do? Waah!

Huh. No worries. I'll just call
daddy, and he'll send for...

[gasps] no signal?

No phone? No radio?

It's like we slid back in time...
To 1996.

It's the end of the world!

Okay, okay.
Calm down, all of you.

As class president,
i am in charge.

Our first and most
important order of business

Is assign blame.

Who in the world would
build a snow ramp

In the middle of the street?

Who hasn't?

[sniffs] okay, i did it.

But i'm going to do something about it.
I'll lead us out of here.

Because when kick buttowski says
he's gonna save everyone on the bus,

He darn well saves
everyone on the bus.

So who's with me?

No one!

As president of the snowy
bus crash preparedness team,

I'm trained for just
such a situation.

Protocol dictates we stay
put until help arrives.

Or until we freeze solid.
Whichever comes first.

Well, i'm president and chair of
the awesome rescue people team,

And i'm heading
out with my team.

Huh. Fine. Go ahead.

We'll see how far you get. Fine.

Fine. Fine.

Fine. Fine.


Gunther, let's move.

Kick, i'll wait for you no
matter how long it takes!

Uh, okay.

[knuckles cracking]

Gunther, we need something
powerful to pull us out of this.

We need a tow truck. We need...

[together] wade!

[tires squealing]

[brakes screech] oops.

Didn't see that coming, dude.

To the food -n-fit!

[echoing] to the food -n-fit!

There's only one route to the
summit, gunther...

The one on this map.

[gunther] got it covered, kick.


Let's do this.

[boy] they'll never make it.

No one ever makes it.

We're gonna starve.

Not if i ration our food.

pass your lunches down to me.

Where is all the food?




[grunting continues]

We made it.
I'm so happy, i could just...


[rumbling] ooh!


Come on, gunther.
We're running out of time,

And we gotta step up our pace.


Ooh, sewer caves.


There's three-day
old grape sloshy

Running through this
pipe, which means...

The food-n-fix.



Hang on, gunther. Almost there.

Ah, biscuits.


[gunther] my spleen.

Told you you wouldn't
get anywhere.

I was right, you were
wrong, as always.

Well, what are you
gonna do about it now?

Whooaaa! Whoo-hoo!

[kick] that's what.
[kendall groans]


You ever get the feeling

That a snow dog is watching you?

All the time. Why?

[growling continues]


It's oscar! Run!

Run, kick, run!

[barking continues]

[screams] kick,
i can't run anymore!

Then we ride.

I always knew i'd end
up in a block of ice.

Gunther, do your thing.


Nice, gunther.

[kendall] sit down, you animals!

Nobody is eating these seats!

They are property of
the board of education

And have no nutritional value.

But we're starving!

And they're so delicious.

Hey, look!
Kendall's got pudding!

Get her!
[blows landing] [kendall screams]

We're not gonna make it.
[teeth chattering]

Must save busload of kids.


Kick, do you see what i see?

[kick] abominable snowman?

[sighs] i always knew

I'd get eaten by the
abominable snowman.

[growling continues]

Oh, man. Brain freeze.

[together] wade!

In the fur,
little chilly amigos.

We need your tow truck.
Our bus slid into the gully.

Harsh. Uno problemo.

I ain't seen it since i
parked it two hours ago.

We need a new plan, quick.

We've gotta save the
driver, jackie, milo, mouth,

Dimitri, nick, janelle,
mitch, and dave.

You forgot kendall.

Did i?

Um, hey, don't we need a motor?

We need something
with raw power.

Yeah, kick,
but where are we gonna find something

Strong enough to
pull this puppy?



Come on, oscar. Come on.

Take a bite.
You know you want to.

[barking] take a bite.
It's yummy.

Time for a shortcut.

[kids] must feed.

Stay back!
I don't have any food!

[kids] then we eat kendall.

All aboard.
Next stop, mellowbrook school.


[scoffs] let them eat me? T

This way. Watch your step.
There you go.

Next. That's everyone, gunther.

Ahem. You forgot me.

Did i?


[kids cheering]

I love you.

We made it! [bell ringing]

Just in time for
school to let out.

What? I missed an
entire day of school?

Gunther, it's official.

Best snow day ever.


[line ringing]

Hello. Kick!

He's here.

I'm on my way.

Okay. Bye.

So, we meet again.

Did we miss him?

Sweet banana victory.

[man] and now, back to the world's
most excruciating wipeouts,

Where pain is entertaining because
it's happening to somebody else.

We interrupt this program
for a breaking news bulletin.

We now take you to the zoo,

Where a chimp has escaped
from his enclosure.

My monkey... he was just gone.
I didn't even notice.

My monkey.

How can someone not notice
a chimp on the loose?

Uh, i don't know, kick.

But what i do know is

Best chocolate-covered
bananas ever!

Even he likes them.


It's that chimp from the news.

We need to take him back.

But it's a monkey.

Well, technically, it's a chimp.

Anthropods without tails
fall into the category of...

But it's a monkey. Look at him.


He does look kind of cool.

[gulps, chittering]

Oh, he just needs a
name as cool as he is.

Dr. Awesome.

Okay, doc, let's get awesome.


I'm going to pee!

[chittering] [screaming]

[boy] hey, dillweed.

[laughs] if it ain't two
ugly, smelly apes

And a monkey. [laughs]

It's a chimp, jack-ball.

Everybody knows that
anthropods without tails...

Zip it, dill weed.

Hand over the frozen treatage,
and nobody gets hurt,



[boy screaming] help!

[screams, yelling]


[teeth chattering]


[all laughing]

Dr. Awesome is going to
be the best pet ever.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You aren't thinking of
keeping dr. Awesome, are you?

I never think, gunther, i do.

But your folks said
they'd ground you

If you brought home
any more strays.







Relax, gunther. I got this.

All we gotta do is keep giving
him bananas to keep him calm,

And no one will even notice.

Are you sure?

Of course i am.

Chimps are awesome.

But how can we disguise him
to sneak him into the house?

[gunther] that steely gaze,

That stance,
that signature pose...

I got nothing.

[mother humming]

Oh, dear!

You're looking a skosh
pudgy, mister.


Hmm. That's better.

Thank you for your concern.
I'm going to my room. Hold my calls.

Yes, well, just in case,
no desserts for a while.


[chittering continues]



Ah-ah-ah. You know the rules.

While daddy's watching tv,
there'll be no monkeying a... ooh.

Wow. You're really growing up
fast, kick.

[chittering continues]

Gotta go.

Uh, kick ate some lingonberry
burritos for lunch.


[fart] [chuckles]

So did i. Bye.


[sniffing] ew! Something smells.


Oh, that reminds me.
I need to shower.

[door closes]

[kick] well, gunther,
mission accomplished.

We got him into the house,
and now i've got a monkey for a pet.

From now on,
life is gonna be perfect.


get this gentleman some bananas.

Those were for dr. Awesome?
But i ate them all.

Say what?
[chittering intensifies]

Monkey stampede!

Hurry, gunther,
before anyone sees them.

continues] [thudding]



I can't believe...

[muttering] Custom-made...


The bedroom.
He'll rat me out for sure.

Where'd he go? [clearing throat]

What are you doing in my
room, dill weed?


[screeches] what was that?

Out of my way!

Now, what was that?

What the... [screams]

The tap water... it burns!

[chittering] [yelling]

[blows landing]

[weakly] chimp.

Oh, harold,
what a pleasant surprise.

[quietly] no, dr. Awesome. Out.

Kick, did you say something?

I said, "oh, that is so awesome

That dad is giving
you a massage."


Oh, harold! What an animal.

Come on, mellowbrook!
Play fair! And have fun.

[thudding] [chittering]

Yeah, yeah. Stop walking, honey.




Gotta barf. Bye.

Kick, what did i tell you about
drinking from daddy's cup?

He's outside. What'll we do now?

It's only one chimp, gunther.

A breaking news update
on the escaped chimp.

Dozens of other chimps have now
escaped from their exhibit at the zoo,

Presumably in search
of their leader.

Be warned: A chimp will stop at
nothing to save its patriarch.

Well, that was unexpected.

Uh, kick, we got company.

[chittering] [screams]

[all chittering]

[woman screaming]



Eh, eh... [whimpers]

Kick, this is crazy!

We can't handle this alone!

We gotta get these chimps
back to the zoo. But how?

We gotta think of something quick!
This is bananas!

Got it.

Okay. Bye.

Hold up, banana man.

Keep chumming.
Bananas are the only things

They love more than chaos.


[howls] [chittering]

[chittering continues]


Gunther, duck.


[pac-man sounds]


Well, we did it together.

Every chimp is back in their friendly
and accommodating environment.

Speaking of home,
i'd hate to be there

When you face the wrath of
your family and neighbors

For unleashing massive chimp
mayhem upon all of mellowbrook.

[gasps] you're right.
I can't go back there.

Where will i go?
How will i live?


And the missing chimps are all
mysteriously back in the zoo again.

In a completely unrelated story,

Two human boys have
been mistaken for chimps

At our local zoo.


[laughs] oh, who could ever

Mistake a human for a chimp?

Here's daddy's cup. Mwah.


[toilet flushes]