Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 6 - Obsession: For Kick/Flush and Release - full transcript

The new girl is becoming much more than just Kick's biggest fan.

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♪ kick, kick ♪

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♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick ♪

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♪ kick, kick ♪

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That was incredible!

I'm jackie! Wait right there!

Who the heck is that?


I'm jackie wackerman.

My mom's job got
transferred to mellowbrook,

Which i thought was gonna be totally
lame, but then i saw you,

And i figure you must be, like,
a really famous daredevil!

Can i have your autograph?

Uh, where do i sign?

[jackie gasping]

And i was wondering

If i could just
touch your helmet.

I will never wash
this finger again.

[laughing] you're awesome!

I am so your biggest
fan in the world now,

And i'm totally
starting your fan club.

We'll have t-shirts and
membership cards and buttons...

Sorry, miss.
This is one daredevil

Who is not in it for the fame.

But every great american
hero has a fan club.

Billy stubbs, rock
callahan, boom mccondor.

I'm in all their clubs.

Hey, you got wax in your ears?
I said...

if those guys have fan clubs...

I'll get started right away.

[laughing] um,
what's your name again?

The name's kick.

Kick buttowski.

Kick buttowski fan club!

Touch. [screams]

Did you hear that, gunther?
I've got a biggest fan.

You can do it, kick!

Do it.

Goodbye, my chocolate friends.

You're done, son.

Perfect. Let's do this.


[camera shutter clicking]

You're killing this one.

What? What?

That was awesome!

And delicious.
[laughing] [laughing]

Hey, buddy, what was my time?

Whoo-hoo! 8.06 seconds.

That's a new record.

Well, let's try it again and see
if we can... no time for that.

Gotta show you
your new web page.

A web page?
Well, maybe later. Come on!

That's okay.

I'll just, uh,

Get down by myself.


Hey, kick, i saved you a seat,

And i brought you
our favorite...

Chewy bran chunks with
a chia chug chaser.

Part of a nutritious breakfast.

Slide it on over, pal.

[jackie] no!

As president of your fan club,

I present you

With these!

Hey, sweet.

I think it really captures
your inner awesome.

I never knew how great
it was to have fans.

"I never knew how great
it was to have fans."

Kick, over here!

Hey, kick,
i got your favorite lunch...

A sardine peanut butter and marshmallow
sandwich, just like you like it.

You can sit next
to me if you want.

I don't need to eat because
watching you eat is enough for me.


[jackie] that's $5. Thank you.

Now, as full-fledged members
of the kick buttowski fan club,

You'll be entitled to discounts
on many premium souvenirs,

Such as the autographed
jumbo bandage pack

Containing actual
bandages worn by kick

After his death-defying stunts.

I'll take one.
How much for the smelly sock?

Psst! Kick,
i did a little reconnaissance.

You're not gonna believe
what i reconnoitered.

Aw, come on, gunther.

I'm serious. Just look at me.


So serious.

Okay, fine. Come on.

But we gotta go stealth mode.

Attention, neighbors.

Do you realize we live next
to a world-famous stuntman?

[kick] and exactly why

Are we climbing into
jackie's bedroom?

You'll see.

Behold the wacky.

[kick] i thought i lost those.

Starting to get the picture yet?

Yeah, i am. This room...

It's so...


Oh, for the love of... ahh!

Oh, yeah? Well, check this out.

I'm kick buttowski.
I love you, jackie.


She's my number 1 fan for sure.

[squeaks] ooh, cupcakes! Gimme.

When are you gonna realize
that jackie is wacky?

Why is she so wacky?

Because she started
a fan club for me?

Because she rifles
through my trash?

Because she makes
great cupcakes?

Yeah. Don't you see?
She's obsessed with you.

You better get rid of your
fan before it's too late.

You know, i'm beginning
to wonder if you're a fan.

You're right, kick.
I'm not your fan.

[sniffles] i'm your friend.

Buddy, come on.

Aw, see?
I knew you'd come around.

[bell rings]

Dude, i got the principal

To let me move into the
locker next to yours.

Then i knocked out
the wall in between

So we can be roomies.
[bell dings]

And look. I made cookies.
Only they're kickies.

Come on.
There's milk in the fridge.

Hi, kick. [chuckles]



Oopsie. [chuckling]

[toilet flushes]

[horn blares]

Nice work, dude.

That's a new record.

Let me wash your hands for you.

Aw, finally, peace.

And opportunity. [growling]


Say cheese!


[panting] maybe gunther's right.

Maybe jackie is wacky.

I'm not wacky, kid.
I'm just your biggest fan.

I'll never leave you.
I love you.

[horn honking]

Hi, kick.

We're your biggest fan.

Oh, sorry, mr. Vickle.
I didn't see you.

Oh, no problem, kick.

I'm your number 1 fan!



[chuckles] it was just a dream.

Do you know you
purr when you sleep?

What are you doing in my bed?

Pillow fight!


Fight back. It's funny.

[doorbell rings]

A present? Yay!


Gunther, you gotta help me.

Why don't you ask
your fan for help?

Gunther, wait.
She's following me everywhere.

She's ruining my stunts.

I can't even go...

[quietly] to the bathroom.

It's awfully late to go knocking

On people's doors, clarence.

Especially people who
aren't your friend.

You were right about jackie.

And you're what?

Gunther, i'm sorry.

Apology accepted.

But what are we gonna do?
I've got just the idea.

[bell rings]

Hey, kick, guess what.

Hey, slow down, buddy.
[whistle blowing]

You're walking too fast.

You know, gunther,

Doing after-school safety patrol

Is about the funnest
thing in the world.

Oh, hi, jackie.

I heard a water
main broke downtown.

The entire sewer system is
filled with rushing water,

And i just happen to
have a surfboard at home.


[chuckles] uh, no, thanks.

I'd rather stay right
here and brush up

For my hall monitor exam.

Study? Safety?
I thought you were a daredevil.

[laughs] him? A daredevil?

Ha! He's a scaredy-cat,

A wimp, a teeny, tiny, little...


But you're a rebel! A hero!

Oh, that stuff.
I was just messing with you.

I'm all about safety. Come on.

Why do you think i wear this
helmet all the time? For stunts.

That's what you love. No.

My true loves are safety,
prevention, and caution.

I hope to be a
crossing guard someday.

Ah. Isn't she beautiful?

Watch out, kick.
You almost stepped on a crack.

Good call, buddy. Oh.

I see. I guess i was
mistaken about you.

Remember, safety first.

Look both ways when you're
crossing the street.

Yes! I'm free!

We did it!

Come on, gunther.

Let's go surf that busted water main.

Okay, oscar. [growling]

You can come, too.


[kick] come on, gunther.

The gully only
floods once a year,

And i want to take
advantage of it.

Let's rock this thing.

You're gonna need to
go faster than that.

Okay. Okay.

Here we go. Okay.

We're trucking now.

Come on, gunther.
Row, row, row your boat!

Now, that's more like it.

Uh, i'll just keep up
the good work then.

Did you see that?

See that? I lived that.

What was that thing?

I didn't think she was real.
What are you talking about?

I'm talking about pescado del diablo.

Pescado del diablo?

According to legend,

She was thought to be dead...
[toilet flushes]

Flushed out to sea.

Free from the constraints
of her little glass bowl,

She grew and grew

Until she reached the
height of two battle snax.

And now, every year

When the gully
floods, she returns

To seek revenge on anyone

Who dares trespass on her turf.

We need to catch that fish.

I knew you were gonna say that.

We'll harness its power

For the most extreme
wakeboarding ever!

But i can't row fast enough
to catch pescado del diablo.

I have weak arms.

Well, first,
we're gonna need a bigger boat.

[horn blaring]

Well, that was unexpected.

Ahoy there, mateys!

What are you two doing in the
middle of the flooded gully?

The legend says that
she's more fearsome

Than any shark,
bigger than any whale...

Stop. You had me at "the."

I was going to sail to south
beach, but forming a posse

To chase down a deadly,
man-eating sea creature

Is right up my alley.

Okay. But be warned.

We may not make it back alive.

Not make it back alive?

You mean, i could miss dinner?


Three men alone
on the open water.

What could possibly go wrong?


[thunderclap continues]

[both yelling]

The food!

Help! [grunting]

Help! Help! Help!

I've got it under control.
Go. Right.


[rope creaking]

Can't hold on!

Gotcha. Hang on, everyone.

Gunther. Gunther!

Wake up, gunther. [coughing]

Am... am i dead? Oh, gunther,

I'm sorry i brought you
into this crazy mess.

What are we doing out
here, anyway?

Maybe it was just me.
Maybe i just wanted it to be real.

I bet pescado del diablo
was just a figment

Of our imagination.

[screams] my leg!


[screams] my shoe!

A shoe is a small price to pay

For the most extreme
wakeboarding ever!

But i liked that shoe.

I called him lefty.

She's even bigger than they say.

No. It must've been
something else.

I'm a goldfish aficionado.
They don't get that big.

Give anything enough time and enough
food, it'll grow.

Remember that.

Impossible. [hits table]

Then how do you explain... This?

Looks like fish teeth tore these
pants, doesn't it?

Goldfish teeth.

Look at it! Look!

Goldfish don't have teeth.

Tell that to my leg!

Goldfish don't have teeth.

[both laughing]

You're okay, old man.
You, too, kid. You, too.

[sonar beeping]

She's here.

[beeping intensifies]

She's everywhere!

I don't want to get eaten
by a giant goldfish!

No one's getting eaten
by a giant goldfish.


My chance.

I got her. You got her?

No! She's got us!

She's got us!

[engine revving]

I'm full throttle.
She's too strong.

She's gonna take us down.
Cut the line! Cut the line!

You heard him. Cut the line!

Not till i've had my ride.

[rope creaking]

Save yourself.

No! I won't let you die!

Who said anything about dying?

My board!

[screams] there!

Two points off the starboard!
Go! Go! Go!

I was hoping for a boat chase.


Now let's see what
this baby can do.

Let's go!

Hang on, kick! Whoo-hoo!

[muffled yelling]


[gunther] hang on, kick!

We'll circle around to get you!

Faster! Faster!
She's coming back for us!

Hang on, boys.

Nice driving.

Never mess with a navy man.

Now that you got your ride,
can we just get out of here?

I rocked my goal!

So yes. Good.

Let's get outta here!

Aye, aye, matey.

[engine grinds]

[stops] uh-oh.

We're out of fuel.

How cliché.

[clanging softly]

It sure is quiet.

Too quiet.

[clanging continues]

Look who returned to rumble.

Okay, let's rumble, fish.

Brace yourselves!



I got her!



Stop, you fool!

She'll eat you where you stand!


Uh, goldie?


Goodbye, goldie.

I'll miss you.

[toilet flushing]

Oh, goldie.

It is you.


[cries] so sweet.

Goldie, we're gonna need a lift.

Oh, yeah! Whoo-hoo!

[gunther] lefty!