Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 15 - Things That Make You Go Boom!/Kyle Be Back - full transcript

Kick battles Brad to win a radio station scavenger hunt.

♪♪ [theme]

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪


[bird screeches] [bird cawing]

[announcer] boom mccondor. D,

You've seen me, boom mccondor,

Risk life and limb for
absolutely no reason.


[snarling] [laughs]




Now is your chance to join me...


In beautiful hawaii
where i'll attempt

The stunt to end all stunts.

Warning, stunt to end
all stunts may also end

Walking, breathing,
and blinking.

This is it, gunther.

May entire life has been
building to this moment...

The chance to do a stunt
with boom mccondor.


Just be one of two callers
to win the chance to compete

In a boom-approved
scavenger hunt.

And the winner gets an all
expense paid trip to hawaii

For the stunt to end all stunts.

Contest begins at the
call of the condor.

Oh, i've got that covered.

Wow, where did you get
all the phones, kick?

Now, i just got to wait for the
call the of... [condor screeches]

[phones dial]

[dial tones]

[line rings]

Gunther, it's ringing.

[announcer] congratulations,
you are caller number two.

You've won a chance to do
the stunt to end all stunts

With boom mccondor.

You know,
we don't have parachutes.

We don't need no stinking parachutes.



I wonder who was
caller number one.

Boom mc... what you say?


Why is that part
of your fantasy?

Don't judge me.

Face it, brad.

You can't win this.

You don't even
like boom mccondor.

I don't even know
who boink mcbingo is,

But i'm winning this
thing and going to hawaii.

Because i'm older,
bigger, and stronger.

It's true, kick.
Brad is all of those things.

Plus, he's not nice.


Hey, that's nice.

[cries out]

Give up now, dilweed

Because the brad will triumph.

Those hawaiian babes
know i'm on the way

And, oh, are they calling.

Yeah, for help.

Good one, gunther.

Here you go.

Oh, why thank you. I...


[crowd cheers]

[announcer] welcome, everybody.

Welcome to the mellowbrook
tv contest event.

Buttowski versus buttowski?

Why we haven't had a
sibling competition

Since the chicarelli
twins swimsuit contest.

Clip removed by broadcast
standards and practices.

[all groan]

All right, folks.

Boom will be landing any
minute into this pool full

Of delicious gouda cheese.

Release me, baby. [screeches]

Boom mccondor in person?

Caw-caw, people.

[crowd groans]

Oh, man,
i thought gouda was a soft cheese.

Let's hear it for boom
mccondor and his freaky feats.

[crowd cheers]

That was not a freaky feat.

[rats chittering]


[elephants trumpet]

That was a freaky feat.

[both] caw-caw!

This old competition
is gonna show me

Who's extreme enough to join me
in the stunt to end all stunts.

Warning, stunt to end
all stunts may also end

Whistling, stamp licking,
and nostril functions.

Let's be honest.

Is a stunt really a stunt

If you don't risk your
nostril functions?

I hear that, boom. I hear that.

And now for the rules.

bring me my explaining hat.

Each location holds two cards

Leading you to
the next location.

You must return with every
card plus this skate wheel.

♪♪ [choir sings]

The last remaining piece of
my first skateboard, betsy.

She's now in a million pieces

At the bottom of
the grand canyon.

Just like the real betsy.

Anyway, cross the finish line

With this in your hand

And i'll know you're
ready to stunt with me.

Now, you won't know how
many trails you'll face

Or which one will lead
to the skate wheel.

♪♪ [choir sings]

And don't bother following
the angelic effects

Because i'm turning them off.

[angels] bread and
butter, bread and butter.

Good luck.

And this hat will
self-destructed in...


Gunther, pack our bags.
We're going to hawaii.



No way. I'm not as dumb as i...

Oh, lightly salted.

[can pops] [gunther screams]

All aboard the brad express.

Non-stop service to hawaii.



[condor screeches]

The hunt as begun.

[brad] i'll send you a
picture of the beach, loser.


No dilweeds in sight.
Hawaii, here i come.

I'm doing that stunt, brad.

Here's mud in your eye, loser.

Yeah, brad.

What goes around comes around.

[cries out]

Classic, boom, classic.

[phone dials] horace, pantsy,

One of you is gonna join
me on a trip to hawaii.

So you better get your
cheating shoes on.

Send you a picture of the
beach, loser.

[announcer] oh, no, folks.

Looks like little brother
is gonna have to start

Back at the beginning.

I was hoping you'd say that.


[cries out]

Sorry, brad.


Do you want to go
to hawaii or not?

Well, yeah, but those balls
can leave nasty bruises.

So can my fist.

[kick] fore!

What did i tell you, brad?
Cheaters never...


More like dilweeds never.

Where to next?


Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

[phone rings]

Not the best time, gunther.

Kick, i can't tell which
is your friday jumpsuit.

Got to go, gunther.
Card four awaits.

Remember, kick,
it's for boom mccondor.

Here, birdie, birdie, birdie,
birdie, birdie, birdie.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Four cards down. Four more to...


Try it again, dilweed.

I hear bread suits are in style.


Hope you guys are still hungry.

[ducks quacking]

[tube snaps]




Widow makers peak?

I'm still in this.

Good work, gunther.

Now, get to the station,
i'm about to win this thing.

Get that wheel!


Pantsy, the net.


Oh, man.

[all scream]

[alligator hisses]



Let's cross that finish
line and go to hawaii.

Brad gave this can of
macadamia nuts to celebrate.

Nuts? Gunther, no!



We have a winner.

Why are you dancing?
I'm the one going to hawaii.

No, i am.



Congratulations, unibrow,
you're going to hawaii.


Where you'll be my partner

In the stunt to end all stunts.

Warning, stunt to end
all stunts may also end

Smiling, ability to think
freely, and life itself.


I don't want to do
some stupid stunt.

I'm gonna hang out on
the beach with the babes.

Let me be clear, rat face.

Either you do the stunt
or you forfeit the win.

Okay, fine,
i'll do the stupid stunt.

See you later, dilweed.

Cheaters always win.


[beeping sounds]



Hey, quit rewinding so loud.

Sure thing, brad.

I'm just glad mom and dad

Made you take me to hawaii.

It wasn't supposed
to be like this.

Like i said, brad.

Cheater's never win.

[boom] caw-caw!


Boom mccondor?

You keep watching that stunt.

I thought you might like
to give it a try, baby.



[condor screeches]

[gunther] setting the record for

The rank of awesome,
global book of awesome

Is must for all who call
themselves daredevils.

Dirt bike mike's record

For most broken bones
in a single crash.

Rock callahan's record

For longest skid mark.

Billy stumps' record

For most wheels in
the air at one time.

And soon kick buttowski

Will break the record for most
consecutive jumps on a single ramp.

Now, if we can only figure
out how not to crash.

With only one day to practice,
i don't even know how you got

The rank of awesome guy to
come back after last time.

[sirens sound]

Oh, the horror.

That's it.
I'm never coming back.

But failure is just
our fuel for success.

And nothing is gonna keep me
out of the book of awesome.


Something's amiss.



Cousin kyle is here.

[gasps] cousin kyle.

Surprise. It's me, cousin kyle.

Maybe he didn't see us yet.

Hey, guys,
what are you doing up here?


I can see my rv from here.

Are you gonna crash?
Can i have your bike if you do?

I like pickles.

Defeat has just been ripped
from the jaws of victory.

Hey, where are you going?
Why are you walking away?

I like role playing games.

Aren't you gonna do your stunt thing?
Not anymore.

Why? Why not? How come, huh?

Does your last
visit ring a bell?

[sirens sound]

Oh, the horror.

That's it.
I'm never coming back.


So you quit? You're quitting?
You're a quitter?

No, i'm postponing.
I'm a postponer.

Great, so we can hang out and
you can see my marionettes

And i can show you my magic
tricks and so much more!

Okay, the stunts back on.

Well, when is it gonna be.

Not that it matters though
because i'm here all weekend.

All weekend?

[cries out]

All weekend?

All weekend.

[crowd clamoring]

Bye, mom. Miss you.
See you later, alligator. Take care.

Hi, everyone.

[all scream]

What are we gonna do, kick?

We're gonna do the stunt,
but we need a plan.

Why are we whispering?

Do you like beef jerky?

I do because one time
i ate up all the meat

And all that was left
was a web of fat.

Honey is bee barf.

Ooh, a loose screw.

Good thing i found it.



Somebody could've got hurt.

When they put humpty
dumpty back together

What do you think they used?
I think they used duct tape.

Dogs sweat out of their mouths
so what are their armpits for?

Why do round pizzas
come in square boxes?

Did you ever notice people drive
on parkways and park on driveways?

Do you say illinois
or "illinoise."

Kyle, if you're gonna
be up here with us,

You have to be absolutely quiet.


Loud and clear.
You don't have to worry about me.

Mums the word. I'll be as quiet
as a mouse like i'm not even here.

Do you smell popcorn? [mumbles]

Don't be nervous, gunther.

I'm not.

Then why are you shaking?

It's not me.

The cork's not holding!

He's going to explode!

I before e except after c.


You know what's weird?

Just ignore it and
it will go away.

I'm allergic to bee stings.

Did you hear anything, gunther?

Nope, nothing here.
So i like honey.

Just you and me.
But i don't like bee stings.

Just you and me. No siree.

With no one to distract us.

I wonder what bees
are allergic to.

No distractions.

Probably peanut butter.

And nobody to get in the way
of me practicing my stunt

For the global book of awesome.

I like peanut butter.

Not a one.
But not if it's chunky.

Because them little pieces
get stuck on my teeth.

I can't take it anymore!


I guess gunther doesn't like
chunky peanut butter either.

This clearly isn't working.

Sorry you ruined kick's
stunt, gunther.

But i know what will
make it all better!

Puppet show.

I think you've done enough.

Wait, kick,
kyle's only trying to help.

And maybe a puppet
show would cheer me up.

Psst, i'll distract him while
you practice your stunt.

Well, if you think it'll
make you feel better then...

You're about to experience
the most passionate love story

Of this or any time.

I take it back, kick.
I don't want a puppet show.


Introducing the lovely
and enchanting...

It's all for kick.
Pretend to like it for kick.

Lady lala.

[gasps] she's beautiful.

Don't you come any closer.

Hands off the maiden, you brute.

Haha. [screams]

I'll save you, lady lala.


Finally, i can practice.

Et tu, gunther?

Don't worry, kick.
I can be gunther.

I'll do whatever you need.
And i can even join you on your stunt...

Never. I work alone.
Then i'll be your assistant.

[phone rings]

Assistant to kick
buttowski speaking.

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

It's the representative of
the global book of awesome.

Uh-huh, you're coming tomorrow.

Uh-huh, kick's last chance

To get into the book.

Okay, very good.
And i like orange cats.

[dial tone]

He said...

I heard what he said.

Orange cats.

I don't see any spare helmets, kick.
Are you sure it's in here?

I don't see any spare helmets.
You sure it's in here?

Keep looking.

Here you go. No.

No, that's a bowling ball.

Just keep looking.



Found it. Huh?


You wouldn't believe it. I had to
walk home with my socks on my hands.

Where are we going? I've been abandoned,
but never in an abandoned building.

And one time a dog
ate my retainer.

But it didn't fix his teeth.

And this other time

And old lady game me candy
that tasted like purse.


You're unstoppable!

Come back,
i'm running and i'm made of metal.



It was only a nightmare.

And he just lies there
sleeping like a baby.

Wait a second. If kyle's asleep,

Then i should suit up.

♪♪ [theme song plays quietly]


[door squeaks]

Sweat dreams, cousin...


You aren't gonna practice your
stunt without me where you?

Because i'm ready!

Ow, ow.

Ow, ow.

[alarm sounds]

[alarm continues]

Didn't want you to sleep in.
We got a big day ahead of us.

Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.

Brush, brush, brush.

Wash, wash, wash.

Munch, munch, much.

[phone rings] i'll get it.

Assistant to kick
buttowski speaking.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

What? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
You're coming early?


Not a problem.
We've been practicing.

And i'm wearing
brand-new underwear.

Bye, now.
Kick you had a phone call.


I've got to practice.

Well, what are we waiting for?


Shouldn't we be practicing?

I've got to practice my stunt.

I've got to get rid of this guy.

You know what? Big foot is real.

I saw him at a truck show.
Oh, and sand, it's fish poop.

Are we there yet?


[kyle] ♪ 423 bottles of
root beer on the wall ♪

♪ 423 bottles of root beer,

♪ take one down and
pass it around ♪

♪ 422 bottles of root
beer on the wall ♪

Hey, kick.

Meet my new friends,
vadic and sergei.

Kyle, nyet.

Me and lady lala brought
you a snow globe.


That's it!

All i wanted to do was
practice my stunt in peace,

But thanks to you i'll never
get in the book of awesome.

Kick, no, don't.


Kyle, you need to get us out of
this before the representative...


What a waste of time.

All this way to get tangled
in a ball of failure.

I'd make this as a fail,
if i could reach my pen.

Kick, i can't help, but feel partly
responsible for your failure.

Oh, no, i didn't fail.

What do you think you're doing?

We're doing the stunt.

Did you say we, kick?

As a matter of fact i did, kyle.



[kyle] kick, we're doing it.
You and me in a stunt.

[kick] no talking.



[gasps] no.

Hi, mom,
how was your meeting for work?

Well, i'm afraid riding

As an entangled group
disqualifies you

From getting you into the
global book of awesome.

By yourself anyway.

Kick broke about three dozen
records in the process.

Never saw anything like it.

All right, kyle, time to go.

Wow, kick, tears of joy.

I've never seen you so happy.

You sure haven't, kyle.

Bye, kyle.
See you later, alligator.

Take care.

[all] hasta la vista. Sayonara.

Peace out. Auf wiedersehen.

[engine stalls]

Aw, biscuits.

[kyle] and they lived
happily ever after

In the land of
sunshine and flowers

And no chunky peanut butter.

The end.

So what you think?