Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 13 - Exposed!/Wade Against the Machine - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪



♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

[crash]

[engine revs]

[screams]

Whoa!

[screams]

Hey, look, it's a girl.

Yah!

[cuckoos]

[rumbling in distance]

Awesome, best time yet.



Awesome.

[laughing]

Your head, it's naked.

Helmet?

[gasps]

Helmet!

Helmet, where's helmet.

Gunther, help me look.

I can't lose her.

Don't worry, kick,

I'm sure it's here somewhere.

Search harder, gunther.

I can't lose helmet.

I don't see what
the big deal is.

You lose stuff on every stunt.

How dare you?

Helmet isn't stuff, gunther.

She's a part of my identity.

Helmet is special.

[kick] she was forged

In the flames of awesome.

Birthed in the waters
of fearlessness.

And procured in the toy
store of mellowbrook.

Since the day helmet chose me,

She's never left my head.

Gosh, kick, i had no idea
helmet was so important to you.

You never talk about her.

Well,
my kidneys are important to me.

Do i talk about
them all the time?

Not lately.

I don't even know who
i am without helmet.

Frank?

No. Herman?

No. Susan?

Gunther. No, that's me.

[horn blares]

Sorry, got to go.

Dinner time.

It's my turn to slay the ox.

Let's look tomorrow
when it's not so dark.

Bye, todd.

[straining]

[yawns]

"Have you seen me?
Call kick buttowski."

Kick's got it bad.

[pants]

[both grunt]

I thought we were going to look
for helmet in the gully, kick?

I looked all night.
She's not there.

She's not anywhere.

So let's go to the helmet
store and get another one.

Get another helmet?

If your mother fell in the mud,
would you just get a new one?

Mom? Why did you have
to make it my mom?

Exactly, she's irreplaceable.

[kick] like boom mccondor
and his skate wheel.

Or rock callahan with
his custom sunglasses.

[bones crack]

[tires screech]

Or dirtbike mike and his gloves.

And that's what helmet is to me.

She's a part of who i am.

Without her i'm some...

I don't even know anymore.

I don't understand,

But i want to understand.

Only a daredevil
could understand.

What'cha doing, kick?

Where did you get the
neat swirly wheel?

Meh.

Let's get you dressed.

Hey, what happened to
all your jumpsuits?

Nah.

I wish i was a daredevil,
so i could understand.

Aha! Idea.

So, i guess you won't mind
if i take ol' blue then, huh?

Meh.

[grunts]

[crickets chirp]

[birds chirping]

[reading]

Meh, whatever.

Whoa! Morning, mom.

[whistles] hi, dad.

Whoa!

Oh, hey, kendall, nice top.

How dare you compliment me?

Wait, compliment?

Clarence buttowski?

[boy] hey, look, a girl again.

What is it, gunther?

I know you said only a
daredevil could understand,

So i did the only
thing i can think of.

You became a daredevil?

That would have made more sense,

But no.

Kick,
you need to do stunts again.

Gunther, i've told you.

Without helmet,
i've lost the will to do stunts.

[engine revs]

[laughs]

Billy stumps?

Yes, sir, he sure is.

Now, what's this i
hear about a daredevil

Losing the will to do stunts?

I don't know anything
about daredevils.

Because without helmet,
i'm not one anymore.

I hear you. Been there myself.

I lost something more
than a helmet though.

I lost something so close to me,

I forgot who i supposed to be.

It was something i never
thought i could live without.

You know what i'm talking about.

[gulps]

You mean your...

My old horseshoe hood ornament.

In was just seconds
before destructo-con '82.

Some no good varmint
stole it for his own self.

[whinnies]

Hey, stop that horse!

[neighs]

My horseshoe hood ornament gone.

I just couldn't go on.

It was a part of me.

[sniffles]

Without that horseshoe,

Being a daredevil
just wasn't the same.

Not for a long time.

But i don't know how to
go on without helmet.

Sometimes you just got to
do what you're born to do.

But i learned it's not
about what's on your head

Or on your hood,

It's about what's in here.

Billy's right, kick.

And that's why you're going down

Widowmaker's peak right now.

Huh?

Without your beloved helmet.

[screams]

Or his skateboard.

Whoops.

[grunts]

[grunts and bangs]

[strains]

Wa-hoo!

Go, kick.

Live till it hurts.

[together] uh-oh.

[together] yes.

Awesome!

Woo!

Ooh-wee, that was awesome.

Now, tell me you don't feel
like a daredevil again.

I do feel like a daredevil.

But how is it that right
when i needed you most,

There you were at the
top of widowmaker's peak?

Your buddy's...
He's something else.

I'm kick buttowski,
suburban daredevil,

Not matter what's on my head.

Thanks, billy.

My name's gunther.

Yee-haw!

You know, pal,
despite everything,

I still wish i could have
said good-bye to helmet.

I think i can help with
that, too.

This is how we say good-bye
in the old country.

Good-bye, helmet.

I'm gonna keep on living
the daredevil life,

But i will never forget you.

What the...

Something must be in the way.

Oh, it's just a
helmet in the way.

Get out of here
helmet in the way.

Helmet, you're back!

I've been looking everywhere.

I could have been a daredevil
without you, helmet.

But it sure is good
to have you back.

[girl] clarence.

Look,
i'm wearing your favorite top.

Kendall,
this is my favorite top.

[scoffs]

[gasps]

Baby, i am back!

We're back.

[clock ticks]

Found it.

Way to go, danger dude. Yeah.

New slosh fishing record.

Time to past the torch.

My first mustache.

Had it on when i
first broke the record

And now it's yours.

Wow, wade, i'm honored.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't get all mushy on me.

You guys are my dudes.

Without danger dude
and zanorse amigo,

This would just be a job.

Hey, ever see what happens
when you mix a pack

Of fruity fizzies and a sloshy?

[claps]

[fireworks pop]

Let's see what
cheetah chug does.

[cheetah growls]

[explosion]

Has anyone seen my spleen?

All right,
see you mañana, dudes.

Cool, wade. Smell you later.

[farts]

You're the best, wade.

Fruity fizzie bombs.

Ahem.

What's up, wade?

"Walter"?

Wade got a new name tag

And a new body.

Uh, who are you?

Like the name tag
says, it's walter.

And i can't allow you to mix
fruity fizzies with cheetah chug.

Wade let us.

He even showed us how.

Well, he must not of
read the warning label.

"Do not consume with beverages made
from the sweat of real cheetahs."

Come on, gunther,

We'll just come back
when wade's here.

Well, walter, smell you later.

You know, i say,
"smell you later",

And you let one rip.

[farts]

What time is wade in?

Wade's not coming in.

Why not?

Wade's been promoted.

He's never coming back here.

[cat screeches]

That's it.

We're not coming back.

Without the wade,
food-n-fix just isn't the same.

Yeah, it's clean.

I wonder why wade
didn't tell us.

Maybe he forgot.

Maybe he's just happier
with his new friends.

Hey, dude, i got the hotdog
if you got the slosh machine.

[sighs]

I got the fruity fizzies if
you got the cheetah chug.

[screams]

Aw.

All right, all right.
Smell you later.

Now, you let one rip, dude.

I'll have you address me as sir.

Now, you let one rip, sir.

[huffs]

Shoot, they should make
me chairman of the board

Because i am bored.

How long have i
been here anyway?

It's been three weeks
since wade's left us.

Maybe he is having more
fun with his new friends.

[snores]

And so this new paradigm shift

Will surely increase

Our faltering productivity...

[man] hold it just a minute.

I got just one question.

How did this cat get in here?

[cat screeches]

Now,
as for the productivity chart,

I'm afraid this initiative
just isn't exciting enough.

[snores]

Thanks for confirming my
fears, wade.

And ideas to beef it up?

Beef up... beef jerky.

Hey, i could go for
some beef jerky.

Another brilliant
idea from wade.

Looks like some one's due

For another promotion.

Try to be more
like wade will you?

[groaning]

Dang.

I sure do miss hanging
out at the food-n-fix.

I sure do miss danger
dude and the wingman.

It's just not the
same without kick.

It's just not the
same without wade.

[fireworks pop]

[farts]

[together] i thought we were
always gonna be friends.

Maybe this guy
can be our friend.

[wade narrating]

Wade didn't leave us.
He was taken

And we're gonna take him back.

Time for a road trip.

All right, mom. See you at five.

It's gonna be a tight visit.

We're not here to visit.

This is a rescue mission.

It's time to bring wade home.

That was great.

It never works for me.

Hey, no kids allowed.

I guess we'll have to find
another way in, but how?

[whistles]

[crashing] [screaming]

[wade] hey, hey, danger dude.

[screams]

Gunther, my grappling hook.

Uh, couldn't we
just use disguises?

Oh, afternoon, sir.

Why, hello there.

What lovely weather
we're having?

Tee-hee. Fresh.

[whistling]

Dudes!

Danger dude, wingman...

[gasps] mustache!

Good to see you, too, wade.

What took you dudes so long?

Wait, didn't you get my letter?

Wade, you sent it on a turtle.

I had a coupon.

Wow, look at this office.

How did you even get promoted?

I don't know.

Something about my record
high cheetah chug sales.

Well,
we're here to bust you out.

We doesn't he just quit?

Quit?

No friend of mine just quits.

I'm gonna get you demoted

And back to your old job.

You're gonna get me out

Of this soul sucking
pit of corporate evil?

After everything
you've done for us,

Of course, wade.

Hey, is everything okay in here?

Yup, nothing suspicious at all.

All right,
as long as there's no kids.

That guard is
gonna be a problem.

Gunther, i need you to
perform a major duty.

But i just went this morning.

♪♪ [rim shot]

It came with the office.

Oh,
i just love a man in uniform.

Well, i just happen
to be wearing one.

[wade] your briefcase, sir.

Wade, you're fired.

Fired up and ready to succeed.

You're so right.

We take ourselves to
seriously around here.

Promotion.

[groans]

This can't be happening.

Tell me about it.

Time to step it up a notch.

Yes, let's tear down
these corporate walls.

Promotion.

Elevators are the
devil's stairs.

Promotion!

[screams]

Honey as a sugar substitute.

Promotion. Huzzah!

Okay, so we need a new plan.

Don't you get it, kick?

I'm obviously
destined to succeed.

I'm just gonna sit
here and do nothing.

He'll probably even
promote me for that.

That's it.

Trying to get you demoted
gets you promoted.

So trying to get you promoted
will get you demoted.

I only got about half of that,

But, yeah, i'm totally up
for, you know,

Whatever it is you just said.

Then let's get to work.

Actual work.

Dang.

In closing, that is how i plan

On boosting productivity

Here at the food-n-fix.

[giggles]

Oops. Hey!

[cheetah growls]

[cheetah growls]

[phone rings]

[speaking gibberish]

[phones ringing]

I don't believe this.

Productivity is literally
through the roof.

And it's all thanks to
you, wade.

Promotions abound!

This is crazy.

I put cheetah chug
in the water supply,

Fish in your briefcase,

And i literally blew the
roof off of your building.

What else do i got to
do to get wade demoted?

You did all that?

I was trying to get
wade his old job back.

He misses the food-n-fix.

And, well,
we miss having him there.

I admire your passion, son.

Reminds me of me
when i was small.

Wore a helmet and
didn't have a nose.

And as for you,

Well, you've given us all so
much, wade.

[bird caws]

Wade,
it looks like you're due for

A big demotion!

Finally.

[both] smell you later.

[farts]

Come on, wade,
to the food-n-fix.

You think they'll let
me keep that drum kit?

Got'cha.

Oh, you animal.

Why, i never...

[whistles]

[kick] good to have you
back, wade.

Well, it's good to be
back, double d.

You know,
my time at corporate has shaped me.

I'm a new man.

It's gonna be some big
changes around here.

Okay, end of changes.

[exhales]

Look at what i just got in.

Choco fizzies.

I wonder what happens
when you combine them

With cheetah chug xe.

[liquid pours]

[cheetah growls]

[wade] hey,
anybody seen my spleen?

You're right.

We move way to fast around here.

Promotion!

[groans]