Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 10 - Those Who Camp, Do/Dog Gone - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪


♪ A camping we will go ♪

♪ A camping we will go ♪

♪ Hi-ho, the derry-o ♪

♪ A camping we will go ♪

Sing that song one more time,

And a-barfing i will go.

Tonight it's kick versus wild.

[australian accent] are
you ready to camp? Yes.

Then get out of the
comfort of the cul-de-sac

And tame the wilderness

Like me, jock wilder,
extreme nature guy.

I went into the woods
as a little baby,

And i came out a man!

[harold buttowski] here we
are, kids...

[tires screech]

The wilderness.

Today kick buttowski becomes...

Oh, man.

Oh, roughing it sure is
fun, huh, kids?

No offense, mom,
but this isn't roughing it.

I should be camping for real,

Like jock wilder,
extreme nature guy.

Hey, kick, what's up?

I've never been tested in the
comfort of the cul-de-sac.

I need to get out there
and tame the wilderness

And come back a man.

[microwave beeping]
hotdogs are ready.

[sighs] just one night

By myself

In the woods.

I don't know, kick.

Camping on a camping trip?

Oh, let the boy have fun.

I remember sleeping out under
the stars when i was his age.

Whoa, dad,

Weren't you scared the dinosaurs
would get you? [cackles]

Well? Well, i don't know.

[animal growls]

Oh, i suppose it's okay.

Oh, yeah.

Now, you'll need a
hat, gloves, jacket,

And trail mix... oh...
And peanuts, a nut log,

Two pairs of socks,
hiking boots, walking stick,

Sleeping bag, tent, flashlight,
batteries... ooh... extra batteries,

And don't forget
your dental floss.

Oh, and some moist towelettes
in case your hands...


[owl hoots]

[crashes, birds squeal] all i need
to survive in the wild is in my gut.

Of course,
dental hygiene is important.

[bird warbling]

Let the camping begin.

[faint scream]

[whispering] dill weed.


[whispers louder] dill weed.

Whatever you are,
come out and fight like a man.


[laughs] yeah, brad.

Get back to the rv before
you embarrass yourself, brad.

You don't belong out
in the wilderness.

You call this the wilderness?

More like wilder-less.

See for yourself.

Hi, kick, honey.
We're right here, son.


Mom told me to
keep an eye on you

Or fill your miserable little
life with pain and suffering.

I can't remember which.

[laughs] yeah,
i wonder whose mr. Nutty bar this is.

Don't open that.
Animals can smell food a mile away.

You were warned.


Oh, no, you were right, kick.

The big,
scary squirrel is going to eat us.

Look at me. I'm kick,
and i'm afraid of little baby squirrels.

You're such a dill weed.


[bear roaring]

Is that all you got?


[passes gas]

[sniffs, growls]

[chuckles] i took care of him.

[yells] help!

This could get interesting.


Did i give him floss?

Shh. There, there, honey.

I'm sure kick's okay.

After all, he's with his
big, brave brother.

Help me!

Brad. Help!

Life without brad.


Hm, a kid can dream.



You dill weed,
now we're lost in the stupid wilderness

With no sign of civilization.


Hey, why aren't we going back?

I've already been that way.

I'm going this way,

The extreme way.

i'm going back the way we came.


Uh, but you need protecting.


Is that really necessary?

It's the call of the wild.

You wouldn't understand.

What i don't understand

Is how are we going to
get over this gorge?

Leave that to me.

Kick, don't leave me!

Grab on.





And now to get some grub.


Gonna eat me some squirrel stew.


[rumbling] kick,
did you find something to eat?



we're going to eat a moose?

No, he stole my berries.

We should be asleep in our
nice, comfortable beds,

But you wanted to spend the
night in the stupid woods

Because of that stupid tv show.

What are you doing?
Building shelter.

You call this shelter?

More like, i don't know,

Something lame.

I'm so hungry i can't
even make fun of you.

Listen up, brad.

I came out here to
tame the wilderness,

And that's what i'm going to do.

Termites, you know,
the edible kind.

Don't worry. [gulps]

You'll get used to it.

I don't need your shelter

Or your termites. [scoffs]



[thunder cracks]

Brad, do you...
do you want to share the shelter?

No way.

I got me a nice,
soft pillow right here.


Brad, you need shelter.

I can't afford to carry
you all the way back.

Mm, comfy.

And i got this lush,
natural blanket.

Mm, so soft on my skin.

Bet you wish you had my
warm, cozy blanket.

Yeah, brad.

That's right, brad. I wish i could
have a blanket made of poison ivy.

Poison ivy?



Today i am a man.

How did i get in here?

I brought you in.

You... you did that for me?

Don't touch me.

Come on, brad.
I've conquered nature.

Now it's time to go home.

But there's poison
ivy on my poison oak.

Savor the victory, brad.

We survived a night
in the wilderness,

And now all we have to
do is make it back alive.


What's this quickie-sandy gunk?

Quicksand. [screams]

Help! Someone! Anyone!

Quit flailing.
You're making it worse.

Listen, i... i'm sorry.

I mean, i really screwed
things up for us.

I'm sorry i called you a
dill weed all those times.

I don't... i don't even
know what a dill weed is.

It's a perennial herb.

You're a...
You're a good brother.

Never thought i'd go this way.

Swallowing dynamite, sure,

But quicksand? What about me?

Covered in boils,
itchy poison ivy,

And there's a termite
stuck in my teeth.


There we go, all packed up.

Oh, where are kick and brad?

We have to check out soon.

[gasps] they're gone.

I knew i should have given
them the moist towelettes.

Mom, i'm back.

Oh, kick, there you are, baby.

I'm no baby.

I'm a man.


Who's my little man?

I am.

Mommy! It's me, brad.

Great, kids.

Next time maybe you
can stay 30 feet away.

Kick, that stuff i
said in the quicksand?

[kick] yeah?

[smacks kick] it never happened.

You're still just my
perennial herb brother.

[kick] oh, come on, mom.

Why do you got to
keep a boy down?


Oh, kick, you only have to
watch oskar for a few hours

While mrs. Chicarelli and i play
in our shuffleboard tournament.

What about mr. Vickle?
He's getting his hair dyed.

Ooh, lovely.

Brad? [honey] studying.


It's her birthday party.

I don't think this
is a good idea.

Oh, nonsense. It'll be fun.

We'll be back at 7:30.

Have a good time.

How i let your
mother convince me

To let you take care of my
dear, sweet oskar

Is beyond me.



You will bathe him,
you will feed him,

And you will walk him,

And let me be clear.

Anything happens to
my precious puppy,

And i'll see to it you
are grounded for life.

I don't respond well to threats.

Not a threat. A fact.

Okay, snookums,

Give mommy a kiss.

Oh, yeah, yeah. [babbles]


Where did he go?


Thanks for helping me
out, gunther.

My pleasure.

I've always wanted to see the
inside of snitchy's house.

Ooh, fruit.


Mm, waxy.

[oskar chomps, growling]

Okay, oskar,
and you don't like me,

So it's up to you.

Are we going to do
this the easy way

Or the hard way?

That's a good...

Hard way it is, then.

[pans clanging]

[kick] you stubborn little...

Come on, eat your dinner.

Hang on. I have an idea.

Look here, oskar.
It smells really good.

I bet it tastes even better.

Mm, yum, yum, yum.

Wow, this does smell good.

Gunther! Oh, sorry.

[growling] get in the tub.

[gunther] come on, oskar.

I put in chamomile
and bath salts.

It's dreamy.


Okay, oskar, time for your...

[squishes] Ew, walk.

Not on the carpet.

Bad boy. Bad boy.

"Oskar likes to take
a mellow stroll."

You don't want to just take a
stroll, do you?

You want to go for a run.

What are you doing?
Miss chicarelli said mellow.

That's one thing oskar
and i have in common.

We don't do mellow.

[gunther screaming]

I thought he liked it mellow.

Snitchy just never
let oskar hit the gas.

Right, oskar?

[gunther yells]



Now, that's what i
call walking the dog.

You're okay, kid.

Did he just smile?

See what happens when we
loosen the leash a little?

Too many restrictions
keep a dog down.


Come to think of it, oskar,

You kind of remind
me of someone.

Eat your dinner.

Get in the tub.

Not on the carpet. Bad boy.

Bad boy.

I never realized it before,

But you and me,
we're a special breed.


Poor guy, he must have flees.

No, he's just itching
to get off his leash.

Are you crazy?

He'll bolt,
and you'll be grounded for life.

No, we have an understanding.

We have trust, and we have...

We have a problem.
He'll be back.

I don't think he's...
He'll be back.

[bird twitters]

Come on.

Kick, if we don't get
that dog back soon,

You'll be grounded for life.

Just keep your eyes open.


Typical oskar...

Leaving a trail of destruction
everywhere he goes.

Wow, we really are alike.

Dog. Dog. [whimpering] horrible.

[people yelling]


Why even bother? Oskar will
probably run home at some point.

Because, gunther,
i promised to watch him.

Oskar's my responsibility,
and i take my responsibilities seriously.

[people gasping]

[horn honks]


[gunther] "mellowbrook pound."

The big house, clink, the
pokey, the gray-bar hotel...

Gunther, i get it.

So what's the plan,
you go in there and sign oskar out?

That means paperwork, red tape.

I don't have that kind of time.
You mean...

I'm going in.
Kick, no, it's too dangerous.

I have no choice, gunther.

[sighs] this.
You're going to need

Why do you have the
complete schematic

Of the mellowbrook dog
pound drawn on your back?

There's some things even
friends don't share.

Hm, if this map is correct,

Then there's a
rooftop service grate

Between my shoulder blades.

Here? Up. Now to the left.

A little more.
Little more. And...

Oh... oh, yeah. That's the spot.

[delirious] the service grate.

I don't get it, kick.
Why do you want to save this mutt?

All he's ever done
is brought you grief.

I didn't get it myself, gunther,

But i looked into
that puppy's eyes,

And i saw his soul.

We're the same, me and him,

Two sides of one coin,

Brothers from a
different mother.

You're right, kick. Go get him.

Gunther? Just trying to help.



Oskar, come on.
We're going home.


Oh, biscuits.


Come on.
What are you waiting for?

You want out of there,
you got to help me.

Where's the oskar
i know and hate?

The oskar who leaves
a trail of terror

Everywhere he goes?

The oskar who lives to

Bite my buttowski?

Here, doggie, doggie,
doggie, doggie.

Come and get it.


Well played, my friend.

Now, let's get you home.

All right, kick,

I knew you could do it.

You broke him out
of the slammer,

The joint, the hoosegow,

The cement condo...

Gunther. Sorry.

Well, it's getting late.

You ready to go, oskar?


Oskar, come back here.
Come back.

[brakes squeak]


I knew kick would mess this up.

Oh, i'm sure they're around.


Miss chicarelli,

I've got to tell you something.

Oskar is...

He's... well...

Yes, what is it?

He, uh... [oskar yelps]

He's right here.

Thanks, oskar.


Oh, oskar, my little baby.

I don't believe it.
You didn't mess it up.

Now, what was it you
wanted to tell me?

Just that everything's
cool between oskar and me.

We have an understanding,
don't we?


Oh, biscuits.

[machine whirring]

[sighs] i guess it's a good
thing i'm the sidekick.