Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Chrysalis - full transcript

Previously on "Kevin
[Probably] Saves the World"...

- I'm a messenger from God.
- Oh, good.

I'm here to guide and protect you.

- Who are you talking to?
- She can't see me.

The only job you have
in life is to build up

your spiritual powers through

- acts of kindness and selflessness.
- [LAUGHS]

God is gonna show you how
to find the other righteous.

Can you please explain to
me why I can't tell anyone

who I am, who you are,
or what I'm doing?

When are you gonna ask Amy out?



- What do you think?
- No.

If you were to ask me
out, I would say yes.

You and the others
still need to find out

what happened to the other 35 righteous.

- Sweet murder board.
- Aah!

- He's one of you?!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big time. That's why I'm here.
I want to join Team Kevin.

- No. No.
- Great!

- Team Kevin forever, right?
- [LAUGHS]

I have a mission for you.

Oh, look at them.

Brought together by the
whims of happenstance.

Random moments connecting their lives.

It takes my breath away to think about



how you are screwing it all up for them!

[QUIETLY] I'm going as fast as I can.

Seems like you're afraid
of a little dirt, Kevin.

[GROANS] I wish this was dirt.

The clock is ticking, Kevin.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.

- Everything okay down there?
- You bet!

Oh. Smooth sailing.

Oh!

Found it!

[GROANS]

Okay, he's down on one knee.

Oh, they're laughing, they're
laughing, they're laughing!

Ooh, she said yes! She said yes!

She said yes!

[LAUGHS]

You guys seem familiar.

Kevin? Are you okay?

- Kevin?
- [RAT SCREECHES]

- Ohh!
- [SPLASH]

[SCRUBBING]

You do realize that tomato juice is

supposed to be for skunks, right?

I'll have you know there was
a dead skunk in the sewer,

so who feels like the stupid one now?

What makes you think they were

the exact same butterflies?

I'm telling you, new vision,
same as the old vision.

I mean, what reason
would the Universe have

for sending a repeat vision?

[GASPS] We should ask Dave.

Like I said, Dave will
be gone for a while.

A "Secret Mission," I know.

I just think as captain of Team Kevin...

Coach, then.

I'm Kevin.

Look, I just want to know

where all of our players
are at all times.

[SIGHS] Focus, please.

Now, the first time you saw
the butterflies was...?

In my room, after helping Reese.

So, perhaps there's a connection.

Maybe the Universe is trying
to get you to go back.

To my room.

To Reese.

[GASPS]

Yes. Right.

Yep, that...

♪

That does make more sense, 'cause

I have been in my room quite a lot.

Friend problems?

- Someone "Mean Girl" -ing you?
- No.

Schoolwork? Troubled romance?

- No.
- [SIGHS]

Puberty?

Mm! No.

School teachers?

[GASPS] Oh, they play!

What about the play?

What about the play?

It's your big theatrical debut.

You must be nervous. I can help.

I told you, I'm not in the play,

I'm on the stage crew.

Reese, there are no small parts.

Only small people.

[SCOFFS] You're an idiot.

- What?
- You don't even need to go.

I am definitely going to your play.

- No doubt, okay?
- Hey, um,

can I talk to you guys for a minute?

Sure. I'm just helping Reese
get over her stage fright.

Um, okay.

- I have to tell you something.
- Mm-hmm.

And it's kind of a big deal.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay?

I'm going out on a date.

And I want you to know that I'm not

trying to replace your father.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Yeah, he's a co-worker from school,

he's really nice.

His name's Iggy.

Is he a character from
a children's cartoon?

[SNICKERS]

It's short for Ignacio.

Okay. Actually, that's
a pretty cool name.

- Yeah, well, he's a pretty cool guy.
- It is.

He teaches philosophy and theology.

Nope, sorry, he's back to uncool.

Okay, you know what, I
am anxious enough already

without a bunch of heckling
from the peanut gallery.

Okay, I'm sorry. I am sorry.

Here I come. I'm making
everything better.

- [SIGHS]
- Come on. I'm sorry. Come here.

I think it's fabulous
that you're dating again.

And, Reese, also, don't you think

it's fabulous that your mom
feels ready to date again?

Reese?

- Okay. You know what?
- I...

I don't know why I bother with you two.

- I don't.
- I...

[SIGHS]

Do you need me to help

process this news?

Must be pretty upsetting.

♪

Kev, can't thank you enough

- for the assist on this little minx.
- Any time, man.

Took me 12 long years to track her down,

but now she's finally mine.

12 years? Is this some kind of

special papasan?

Why yes, Kevin. Yes, it is.

I was 15 years old.

The Kautter Family basement.

And this rattan-framed beauty cradled me

during in my first kiss.

That's, uh... sweet.

Yeah, I thought so, too.

Mrs. Kautter was a little creeped out.

But she eventually sold it to me.

And, I got to say...

Totally worth the wait.

I'll give you a moment. [SIGHS]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

♪

Hey, Ty?

Do you see a-a butterfly?

Are you the butterfly?

I don't think so.

Then my answer is no.

How would you feel about

taking a little detour home?

♪

[HORNS HONKING]

♪

Oh, okay. Reese's school.

♪

Whoa. Sorry, guys. Wrong class.

Uh, nope. I-I-I think this is, uh...

I think this is us.

You're taking my continuing
education art class for seniors?

Well, we're more like, uh, auditing it.

Check with the learning center.

Classes within your age range

start at the beginning of each month.

Are you sure you don't need any help

[CHUCKLES] with the class?

Just cleaning brushes,

sharpening pencils, anything?

I am in a bit of a jam.

How comfortable are you with your body?

♪

[CLEARS THROAT]

♪

Great line weight, Cheryl.

Very loose and balanced.

Hey. Hello, ma'am?

Sorry, could you please
not distract my students?

Sorry.

Try experimenting...

How do you stay so still?

As a kid, I'd spend hours
in front of store windows,

pretending I was a mannequin
while my mom went shopping.

One day she left me there overnight.

So much fun. [LAUGHS]

[WIND WHISTLING]

♪

Okay, you know what?

Turns out I only need
one gladiator after all.

One gladiator's good. You can leave.

No, I'm sorry. I just... I'm sorry.

- Shield.
- See you in the car, K-Dog!

- Okay.
- Come on. Shield. Shield.

- Let's go.
- [GASPS]

Wait, wait, wait.

I promise I'll be so good.

One more chance. I'll be quiet.

Please, please, please.
I'll be so, so quiet.

- Never quieter. The quietest.
- All right. All right.

[SOFTLY] Sorry.

♪

Eyebrows over there
is a freaking natural.

What are you doing here?

I gave you a mission.

I know.

And I failed.

Hard.

I talked to every one of us.

I gave my best sales pitch,
you know, "Rejoin the cause!"

"Help save the world.

"Maybe get a new soul to protect."

And they all said the same thing?

- A big, fat, juicy nope.
- Even Ava?

Especially Ava.

She said she wanted
nothing to do with you.

Hey.

Hey.

Come on. We'll get through this.

All right?

Look, I know how these kids feel.
I've been there myself.

Just let them, burn
through all that anger

and resentment while we

focus our energy on Kevin.

As soon as he anoints a new righteous,

the rest'll come around. Trust me.

[SIGHS]

- You think so?
- You bet your sweet ass I do.

We're not there yet. Duly noted.

Hey! I wanted to return your costume.

Sorry. There you go.

Um, sorry if I was too
disruptive in class.

Not your fault. It's me.

I've been in a snit all day.

Is something bugging you?

What do you think about this?

[CHUCKLES] I think it's really good.

- Is that yours?
- Yeah.

So, how come all your great art

is just piled up in this car?

Supposed to be part of an
art exhibit this weekend.

My first.

Friends own a gallery in Austin,

asked me to be a part of it.

- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
- What happened?

Same thing as always...

I book a show, get psyched,

but when the moment comes, I...

I can't bring myself to do it.

Gotten to a point I just
keep them in the car now,

hoping to build up enough courage.

Well, what are you afraid of? I mean,

what's the worst that could happen?

Everyone says that I suck.

Uh, well, people tell me that I suck,

literally, every day,
and it's not that bad.

I'm a coward.

Better to be left
wondering than mortified.

- Excuse me.
- Well...[SIGHS]

- Okay.
- [ENGINE STARTS]

♪

[KNOCKING ON WINDOW]

- Sorry.
- What are you doing?

I am looking at a guy who's clearly

talented, but needs assistance.

And how do you know that?

Because I am a patron of the arts.

I love all the great
artists, artworks...

Mona Lisa, um, Soup Can,

People At The Park Made Our of Dots,

um, Screamy Face,

Melty Clocks... personal fave.

Very impressive. But I'm... I'm not...

Look, look, look, you can
barely fit in your car.

I have a truck. I'll drive you

to Austin. I can help set up.

I'll... I'll... I'll cheer you on.

You're not gonna let go
until I say yes, are you?

Pretty much, yeah.

All right. Fine. I-I'll do it.

Yes! You will not regret this.

- Now please let go.
- Sorry.

- Oh, hey.
- Hi.

- Sorry.
- No. I-I'm sorry.

Uh, were you leaving or...?

No. I mean, yeah, I w... I was leaving,

but, um, I-I can talk if...

- Are you here to talk?
- Uh, yes, I...

Well, I actually just

wanted to see if you've
given any thought to,

uh... to tomorrow night?

Definitely. Yeah. Like,
so many thoughts.

That's great.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well, I-I know you have the play first,

but I'm flexible for whatever
you want to do after.

Oh, sure. Like, um, dinner?

I'm open to anything.

Or we could go to a movie, you know?

Uh, but I will have just been sitting

for a couple of hours, so, you know,

something active may be nice. [CHUCKLES]

But not too active.

Like a museum, you know,
or dancing or mini-golf.

How about that last one? Hmm?

- Mini... Mini-golf?
- Fantastic.

Yeah, haven't done it in years.
Should I meet you there?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. That'll be great.

Oh. Great.

Mini-golf?

Amy. Mini-golf?

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

Ah! Who wants to check out an ultra-hip

Austin art show with me?

Since when are you into art?

I'm not. But you are.

Figured you could be my ringer.

When is it?

Tomorrow.

You forgot.

Forgot what?

My school play. It's tomorrow.

Uh...

Oh, man, you totally fell for it...

"Kevin, you forgot my school play."

Totally fooled you.

That is hilarious. You
are too easy, kiddo.

- Mm-hmm.
- Too easy.

If you have something
else to do, I get it.

It's... not a big deal.

What? No. That is silly.

I am definitely gonna...

- Be there. Uh...
- Seriously, it's not a big deal.

I told you you didn't have to go.

Really?

Oh, hey, guys.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Guys? Dave!

- Hey there, handsome.
- When did you get back?

Uh, earlier today. And I'm leaving.

You are?

Just for a few days.

I need to recharge my batteries.

Dave here will keep an eye
on you while I'm gone.

Are you comfortable with that, Dave?

- Are you kidding?
- [BUTTONS POP]

I've been waiting for this moment.

"Team Kev..."

No way!

You know what? Never mind.
Never mind all that.

[IMITATES AIR HORN]

Boys' weekend, babyyy!

[LAUGHING] [IMITATES AIR HORN]

KRISTIN: Okay, guys, let's run the cues

for Act Three one more time, please.

Oh, hi!

You guys are lifesavers.

The kids are really
working their tails off.

Oh, well, this is Amy's idea.
And she paid for it.

But, um, I carried more boxes.

[LAUGHS]

I'm really sorry to hear about your mom.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, it's, um,
it's been an adjustment.

And the play has been
a-a welcome distraction.

Reese has been an incredible help.

- Our Reese?
- Yeah.

She... She designed the
sets and the poster and...

And she's basically been
our de facto stage manager.

Uh, hey, Cameron, can
you hold that stardrop?

We need to reset for Act Three.

You two better get here early
and snag the best seats.

Yeah. We'll get here super early.

Uh, but I... have got to get going.

So, um...

- Okay, bye.
- See you later.

Uh, are you available to chaperone

the cast and crew party tonight?

[SIGHS] I wish I could,
but I have plans.

A date, actually.

- That is so great.
- [GIGGLES]

Well, hey, you're... you're
welcome to bring him.

Yeah. Well, that sounds
much more enjoyable

than mini-golf, which I
inexplicably suggested.

It's a disaster waiting
to happen. Seriously,

I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to say,

- I don't know how to act...
- Amy. Amy. Amy.

Let's have some pizza.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I haven't been out with anybody

who wasn't my husband in over 20 years.

The experience really
isn't that much different

than when you were a teenager.

My mother drove me to the
last date that I went on.

Okay. Well, that's, uh... [LAUGHS]

Yeah, but, you know, the good news is

you've already got the
toughest part out of the way.

Now you just get to know each other

and see if you're compatible.

"Hi. I'm a widowed mother

"of a teenage daughter."

I like good books and
long walks on the beach

when I'm not being driven
insane by my twin brother

"who, oh, by the way,
he also lives with me."

I'm sure this Iggy guy
has issues of his own.

Right? 'Cause everyone has baggage.

You just... You don't unpack
it all on the first night.

Yeah. Okay, but what
if I start to unpack?

Uh, then focus on the mini-golf, right?

Yeah. Destroy him if you have to.

Mm-hmm. Wait. Hold that thought.

Uh, Jeffery, Marcella.

Yeah, please keep your hands
and your mouths to yourselves.

[RUMBLING]

AVA: Do you ever have the urge to

take a big bite out of one of those?

I think it must be the color.

Or the swirls.

Reminds me of taffy.

Thanks for coming, Ava.

Surprised to get the invitation.

I'm supposed to be taking some time off.

But I really need to discuss Dave.

Oh, boy. What about him?

Have you seen him recently?

Sure.

You have?

Last night, in a dream.

You were there, too.

And there were so many puppies.

Have you seen Dave somewhere
that wasn't a dream?

No.

That's what I thought.

[PINS CLATTER]

Are you looking for him?

More like looking into him.

He showed up last week,
offering to help with Kevin,

but something's felt off ever since.

Well, yeah. There's a reason for that.

Dave's the one who told the rest
of us not to listen to you.

- He was?
- You bet. Right after we got here.

Very angry, and very convincing.

[GIGGLES]

This game is really easy.

S-so, what do you think he's up to?

I don't know, but I am gonna find out.

And then I'll make him cry.

- [PINS CLATTER]
- [SIGHS]

Uh, I think I need one more
painting from the house.

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

[DOOR OPENS]

What's wrong? Talk to Dave.

You should have seen
Reese on that stage.

It was like a different kid.

No moping, no sarcasm. She was engaged.

Her hair was in a ponytail, Dave.

Yeah, nothin' says confidence like

a strong pony, that's for sure.

And now I'm the knob
who's bailing on his niece.

Yet again.

Hey. Kev.

You're not a knob.

Tell that to Reese after
I don't show up tonight.

Well, then go to the play.

And do what? Ditch Ethan?

Yeah, you're in a tough
spot, amigo. No doubt.

- Yeah.
- But even a non-human

like myself can tell that

family is a key component

to your spiritual well-being.

And, in that this entire
shebang is all about

strengthening your spirit,
isn't it entirely possible

that supporting Reese is the

better decision right now,

I mean, you know, spiritually?

Yeah. That sounds smart.

Because it is. [LAUGHS]

Listen, um, Kev,

the Universe has asked
far too much of you,

and that sucks.

So, I'm stepping up.

Time for the rubber to meet the road.

Team Kevin's got your back, muchacho.

Hi!

Hi, I'm a good friend of Kevin's.
My name is Dave.

Um, nice to meet you, Dave. I'm Ethan.

Bad news... uh, Kevin
can't make it to Austin.

He has a family emergency.

But I can, you know, I mean,

if that's cool with you, of course.

Um, yeah, I-I guess.

I'm a huge art buff.

I checked out a bunch of
your stuff in the truck...

Really evocative stuff, man. Trè bien.

Uh... Uh, thanks.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong,
but do I sense a slight

undertone of Fauvism in
much of your oil work?

No, you're right. Um, I'm always drawn

to intense usage of... Of color.

- Ethan, you can see this guy?
- Um, y-yeah.

Yeah, of course he can... see me, Kevin.

Why wouldn't he be able to see me?

Hey, good thing I'm driving
you to Austin, huh?

[LAUGHS] Come on.

♪

- What the hell, Dave?
- Apologies, Kevin.

I did not mean to overstep my bounds.

- I was just trying to help.
- No, no!

Since when can you reveal
yourself to other people?

Since... forever.

I... I thought you guys couldn't

show yourselves to other humans?

[LAUGHS]

Who the heck told ya Th... Oh.

Why would she lie to me?

Kev, we both know Yvette isn't
exactly the sharing type,

but I'm sure she had her reasons.

What else hasn't she told me about?

I want to know.

Bud, if it were up to me,
I'd tell you everything.

Honesty is kind of my number-one jam.

But just when Yvette gets back, have

a chat with her, clear the air. Awesome.

Now quit being such a downer
and go hang with your family.

Dave's got this "Universe" junk handled.

Enjoy the night off.

- Thanks, Dave.
- Okay.

- ♪
- _

No, thank you, uh, ma'am, for that.

So, you know, if you just take
your seats and enjoy the play.

Okay, that's great.

- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- Hey.

- Hi.
- You seem a little bit overwhelmed.

Uh, yeah. Well, you know, let's see.

Um, the fog machine still isn't working,

and the cast decided
they need a different

flavor of seltzer because they heard

that Lin-Manuel drinks pamplemousse,

so [LAUGHS] that was...
Anyway, enough about...

How are you? Are you feeling
better about the date?

More so than I did this morning,

thanks to you, so thank you.

It's gonna be fine.

Excuse me, I heard there
were programs over here.

- Deputy, nice of you to join us.
- Thank you.

Well, uh, this is a bit of a surprise.

Yeah, is it, uh, strange for a grown man

to be watching a high-school play?

- Uh, yeah, kind of.
- [CHUCKLING]

Well, the, uh, Chief's
daughter is one of the leads.

Our attendance tonight
was "recommended."

[SCOFFS]

So, um, do you want to go get
something to eat afterwards?

We can't!

Yeah. Uh, we... we can't,
because, um, we're stuck

chaperoning the cast
and crew after party,

so we're just stuck doing
that all night long,

- so chaperoning away, right?
- Yep!

Okay, well, um, good luck with all that.

- Thank you.
- Yeah!

- That was fine, right?
- Well, it... it...

It sounded fine. Yes. It was fine.

WOMAN: Please take your seats.
The show will begin shortly.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

♪

[CLATTERING IN DISTANCE]

KEVIN: Ow!

♪

[DOOR CLOSES]

Thus die I, thus, thus...

[SIGHS]

Now die, die, die.

[APPLAUSE]

KEVIN: Whoo!

- [HUSHED] Stop it.
- Reese!

Move that set!

Seamless transition!

Nice and smooth! Whoo!

Asleep, my love?

What, dead, my dove?

O Pyramus, arise.

We need to talk now.

Speak, speak. Quite dumb?

Now, Kevin. We need to talk now.

- Dead... a tomb must cover thy sweet...
- You're ignoring me?

I know you can hear me, Kevin!

You want to sit here and
act the fool all night?

Okay. You just sit there and watch.

With hands as pale as milk...

- Lay them in gore...
- Kevin, cool it, man.

Sorry, sorry.

With shears of his threaded silk.

How's this, Kevin? Can you see me now?

Just a private little show...
Me and you.

[CLEARS THROAT] I have to pee.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Me? Nothing's wrong with me.
I feel wonderful.

Oh! I'm glad, because while
you've been goofing off,

Dave has been working
against us this entire time.

We can't trust him.

Ha!

[LAUGHS] Wow.

Whoo, boy. Amazing.

This isn't funny, Kevin.

This is hilarious. This is about, um,

as funny as it [LAUGHS] gets...

You talking to me about trust.

What are you carrying on about?

Oh, well, um...

[HUSHED] I know you can reveal
yourself to other people.

[NORMAL VOICE] Surprise!

So please, please, please
continue to lecture me

about the importance
of trust and honesty.

We didn't know who or what

affected the other righteous,

so drawing attention to
you by parading around

and revealing myself felt like

a pretty foolish strategy.

Really? Um,

because from... From where I...

From where I stand, it felt
like you could've spared me...

And Amy and Reese... from
a huge amount of trouble,

but you chose not to.

I've been gone one day,

and now you don't trust me anymore?

[CHUCKLES]

It's a funny thing about us humans.

We find it hard to trust
people when they lie.

♪

Dave is manipulating you, Kevin.

Dave? What about you?

The only thing Dave's ever done is help.

So is that why you're not with Ethan,

because Dave is helping you?

Yeah, yeah, actually. And you know why?

Because we... we work
together as a team.

[SCOFFS] I'm sure.

And you know what?
Now that I think about it,

um, maybe it's time that I consider a...

A lineup change.

Namely you on the bench.

Sports.

So I don't want to intimidate you, but I

did score a hole-in-one on this course

about five years ago at
Reese's birthday party.

Is that so?

- Hey.
- Yeah, 24 kids.

Just balls flying everywhere.

It was... Wow. [LAUGHS] Okay.

That actually sounded a lot
more porny than I intended.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪

- Wow.
- [LAUGHS]

So, uh, how you feeling right now?

I'm feeling like you're three
strokes behind, mister.

Well, I... I-I just... I wasn't sure

if all of this was a bit
weird for you, you know.

It's a little different,
but I'm having fun.

I took two showers today.

- I'm sorry?
- Yeah, I was getting ready earlier,

and I took a shower,
and then I second guessed

- the amount of cologne I put on.
- Uh, well, that is fascinating.

Which is to say that if I
was nervous for tonight,

[LAUGHS] I can imagine,
you know, the prospect

of our date holding a
little more anxiety for you.

Okay.

Maybe I was a little bit
nervous about tonight.

[LAUGHS]

I just... I didn't know
if it would feel strange

being on a date with
somebody that wasn't Jon,

and I'd feel like I was cheating on him.

Can you even cheat on a dead person?

Am I a bad kisser and he
never told me about it?

I mean, what other quirks
was he hiding from me?

Do I snore? Do I chew loudly?
Do I have an oddly shaped head?

Do my clothes have this, like,
funky, weird mildew smell

that I just don't notice but
you would definitely notice?

[MUSIC PLAYS INDISTINCTLY]

Dave? Dave!

- Dave!!
- I'm Dave.

- Yep. Hey.
- What?

- Hey!
- Hi.

Hey, man. How's it going?
How was the show?

Shouldn't you be in Austin?

No.

Oh, my goodness, what a bust.

That guy does not have the confidence

to become an artist.

That's... sort of the entire reason

we were helping Ethan in
the first place, buddy?

I'm not a miracle worker.

- [CAN TOP POPS]
- I-I don't understand.

What... What happened?

Mm. [LAUGHS, SNIFFS]

Nothing.

The guy froze... literally.

He would not leave the truck.

Well, what did you do?

What was I supposed to do,
kick him out of the truck?

Yeah.

But with your words, maybe.

With my...? [LAUGHS]

Okay. No. Kev, bro, look.

You're talking to a "Free
Will" guy here, okay?

I had to respect the man's wishes.

- No...
- So, no... You know,

we just went and got some
wings and headed home

- and called it a night.
- Oh, my...

We'll get 'em next time, tiger.

Ah!

I knew it. I knew it. I-I-I...

I shouldn't have gone to the show.

I should've trusted my gut.

Yvette never would have let me
blow off the mission like that.

Ouch. I'm sitting right here.

If I had just stayed with Ethan,

everything would be fine.

I put Yvette on the bench for you, Dave.

Follow me.

- What? Wha...
- Eh... Come on.

Did I just spend the last two hours

talking about myself nonstop?

More like an hour 45.

Okay, well, let me please
start by apologizing

for turning our date
into a therapy session.

Well, to be fair, I mean, I
am the one that started us

- down that path so...
- So it's your fault.

I mean, anything to keep you from seeing

how terrible I am at mini golf.

Oh, I noticed that, like, immediately.

- [LAUGHS] Did you?
- Yeah, right off...

- Gah!
- Right away.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Okay, well, at least you know everything

there is to know about me.

[SCOFFS] I very much doubt that.

Okay, well, my hang-ups at least.

Well, to put it another
way, uh, you know, now that

you've given voice to these anxieties,

you don't have to worry
about it on a second date.

A second date? [CHUCKLES]

Do me a favor and stand
right there for a second.

Time for your lesson.

Can you tell me what color
paint is in this can?

- I-I don't know.
- Fair enough.

I, however, do know what color paint

is inside of this can, and that color...

- Is red.
- [LID CLATTERS]

What the heck?!

Oh, my goodness.
[LAUGHING] I am so sorry.

I'm sorry about that. What a booboo.

- Okay, just a sec.
- This was my only nice shirt.

Eh, don't worry about it.

I got it.

The paint inside of this can is green.

Okay, don't! Please don't, please don't!

Okay? I get it.

All right?

Enough! Okay? Enough. Stop it.

[SIGHS]

And... scene.

Now, here's the part where
I drop some knowledge.

- Does it involve dry-cleaning?
- Very good.

Kevin, my existence as
a warrior for God is,

to put it mildly, pretty sweet,

but there are still many things

with regard to my "warriordom"

- that I do not know.
- Yeah, I'm picking up on that.

Yvette and I, we're the same.

We have the same capabilities,
the same limitations.

There is one difference, however.

I am able to admit when
I've made a mistake.

Yvette, on the other hand, God love her,

she just can't help but act
like she has all the answers

even when she's wrong.

But, Kevin, here's the point...

No one is infallible,

not even beings like us,

no matter what she says.

YVETTE: Hey!

- Oh, boy.
- I'm not here for you.

Got business with this jackass.

- Sidebar. Now.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No sidebars, no disappearing,
no magic doors,

just no more secrets.

Kevin, I don't know what he's
been telling you, but...

Only the truth, sweetheart.

You should give it a whirl sometime.

Ooh, that's big talk coming
from a guy who's been

slithering behind my back since

you landed on this planet.

Now, does your truth
include an explanation

of why you've been working against us?

No. No, no, no. Not us. You.

Kevin, do you know why we
followed Yvette down here.

No, I don't.

We followed her because

she told us she could fix everything.

She told God,

she told anyone who would listen,

and we believed her.

We left our home, only
to get here and realize

that her entire plan was worthless.

She was just making it
up as she went along.

You knew exactly what
you signed up for, Dave.

I I signed up because
I believed in you...

So confident, so sure that you could

protect the righteous and save humanity.

She's saying you'll find
a whole new generation

of the righteous when the
truth is she has no idea.

You want to know what I think?

I think there aren't any more.

And I think there won't be anymore.

So, which one of us is right?

Go on. Tell him.

I don't know.

Boom. Told you.

Uh, Dave, please.

But...

[SIGHS]

That doesn't mean Dave's correct.

You must understand this was never

about certainty for me.

It has been and always will be

about my faith in you.

I believe

that there's no one on this planet

who can accomplish what you can.

Not me, not Dave.

You.

DAVE: Goose bumps.

Yeah, I forgot how good
you were at the faith bit.

What is it that you want, Dave?

I want Kevin to wake up and realize

that he's a "Plan B,"

that he's an audible.

I want him to think about
all the rinky-dink tasks

he kills himself for
a-and whether the future

of the Universe hinge's
on some dude's art show.

Because if he still thinks
that you've got the answers...

Then he's stranded...

With no way home.

♪

[SIGHS] I, uh...

Um...

I'm gonna g-go to bed.

♪

[BIRDS SINGING, KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hi, Ms. Allen.

Reese. Just the person
I was hoping to see.

Uh, this is for you.

Oh.

- Honey, who is it?
- Hey.

Just brought Reese a little
gift to say thank you

for being such a phenomenal
help with the play.

Aww.

A rock.

Uh... [CHUCKLES] Uh, cool.

I made this.

I mean, I figured you couldn't put

an entire backdrop in your room so...

- Yeah.
- Rock.

Rock.

It's... It's really great. Thank you.

Thank you.

I probably could have given
that to Reese on Monday,

but I was curious how your evening went.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[INHALES DEEPLY] So, um, well,

I did not unpack all of
my baggage, for starters.

Congratulations.

Yeah, no, I, um,
actually opened the bag,

and then I dumped the mess

all over the ground.

Okay. Well, that's...
That's a different...

That's a different way
to go about things.

But he seems interested in
a second date, I think.

- Well, that's great!
- Yeah.

[LAUGHS]

What are you gonna tell Nate this time?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

That was really unexpected.

[LAUGHS] You're telling me.

It just...

It felt weird to tell him.

[SIGHS]

I don't know.

Well, maybe you should figure that out

before you give Iggy a call.

[SIGHS]

♪

What's going on?

Nothing.

You've been in here all day.

Are you sad?

Does this look sad to you?

[DOOR CLOSES]

Want to tell me what's going on?

Honestly, I...

Really, really wish I could.

But can't.

You know, that used to bug me,

not knowing why you were always

acting so weird all the time.

Yeah, I seem to remember you

stalking me,

placing a tracker on my phone.

Did you ever wonder why it

doesn't bother me anymore?

Mm, nope.

Was just glad you stopped
being so annoying.

I realized it didn't matter why

you were being weird because,

when you were weird, you
were usually helping people.

You know, you don't have to
keep using the word "weird."

And you've helped,
like, a lot of people.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Like, look at me.

I try not to as a rule.

I'm trying to say you helped me, genius!

Without you, I probably
wouldn't have done the play.

Really.

[VOICE BREAKING] I owe a lot to you.

And now...

[DOOR OPENS]

Now I have this rock.

Is the rock a metaphor?

I'm just saying

it doesn't matter why you act weird

because you use your
weirdness to do good stuff.

And those little things add up.

[SIGHS]

I'm not even gonna make a joke.

[SIGHS]

[VOICE BREAKING] Thank you,
Reese. That was really nice.

Sure.

But, you know, if you wanted to tell me

how you pull off all that
stuff, I wouldn't, like, mind.

Because I don't think
you're doing it alone.

Someone or something has
got to be helping you.

Hey, Reese.

Um...

When you were a baby, I
dropped you on your h-head.

And not like once...
Like, three or four times.

[LAUGHS]

I know. I know.

I know.

♪

- _
- [UPBEAT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

- These natural colors.
- Yeah.

I mean, it's already been sold, though.

- Hey. My paintings.
- Excuse me.

- How did...
- Yes.

Hey. Hey, there. Hi.

Kevin, what's going on?

This is a-a local...

Very local showing of your work.

[STAMMERING] I-I don't understand.

I felt bad about Austin,
so I wanted to...

To make it up to you.

And, uh...

Ethan, dear, I have an art question.

Okay, sure. Go ahead.

Do you ship to New Jersey?

I'm sorry?

My cousin wants a few
of these paintings,

but she's being a noodge
about the postage charges.

Your cousin in New Jersey
wants to buy my paintings?

Aren't they for sale?

Um...

Uh, uh, uh, yeah,
yes, yes. Um, they are.

Um, you know what? Uh, tell her that,

uh, the painting price
comes with free shipping.

Are you happy now, Evelyn?

[CHUCKLES]

Kevin, I don't...

[SIGHS] I don't know how
to thank you for this.

- Oh.
- I know this is small,

but, man, this feels great.

Like I said, I'm a patron of the arts.

Let me give you something.

Oh.

Here you go.

[GASPS]

Ethan, this is stunning.

I...

♪

[WHISPERING] Oh, my.

♪

[GASPS]

Where you going? Where you going?

♪

Is everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, I'm fine. Um...

Just, uh, butterfly
caught me off guard.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] So...

I saw 'em when I was
traveling last summer.

They're absolutely radiant in person.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Where did you see them?

Hello! Ooh. Hello. [CHUCKLES]

Hey!

Hello!

Uh, I need to talk.

Pick up.

[SIGHS]

[BELL RINGS]

♪

Okay. All right.

It's time to bring out the big guns.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

♪

Oh. God is good, God is great,

and we thank Him for our food.

Amen.

[GASPS]

You are aware that's not how you

get in touch with us, right?

Dave, um...

I don't know if she's right or
whether her plan will work,

but I believe in what we're doing, so...

I'm... I'm sticking with Yvette.

Your loss, man.

♪

I know where we'll find
the first righteous!

[LAUGHS]

- What...
- Oh.

Arizona?

What? No.

Oh, sorry.

Thought the Universe might
help me on that one.

Uh...

♪

Laos?

Laos.