Kevin Can Wait (2016-2018): Season 1, Episode 10 - The Fantastic Pho - full transcript

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Kevin Gable, please see the manager.

Kevin Gable, please see the manager.

You, uh... You wanted to see me, Owen?

"Owen"?

Sorry. Mr. Durning.

Exactly.
Like the name on the sign out front.

That's right... My dad owns the place.

You've mentioned that a couple times.

Here's the sitch.

I noticed on the security
monitor that you popped

a cube of cheese from
Rose, the sample lady.



- It was a free...
- Don't deny it, chief.

I see everything.

I'm not denying it.
She asked me to try it.

I don't know...
Is there a problem with that?

Would there be a problem if
Homeless Joe came in here

and started peeing on the apricots?

I didn't pee on the cheese.

Now, one more screw-up,
and it's your keys.

The whole ring, chief.

You feel me?

I do. I-I feel you.

Then why are you still here?

I don't... I don't know.

- Hey.
- Hey.



Sorry I'm late.

Did you know All American Burger
is right across the street?

I pulled in there by mistake.
It's like muscle memory.

My body was like...
Just wanted to go there.

Yeah. Well, I'm glad you made it here.

And I know your policy
on foreign food...

If you can't read it, you don't eat it.

That's right.

What's the, uh... What's the deal here?

Do I got to take off my shoes?
Do I got to bow to anybody?

It's Vietnamese. No.

Okay, well, just so you know,

I'm not eating anything raw...
Anything, okay?

And I don't want to cook my own food,
you know,

where they put the hot
rock in the middle there

and they're like, you
know, "Get to work."

I'm like, "You get to work.
That's what I'm paying you for."

Honey, I know all your food rules, okay?

There's no rocks. There's no raw food.

There's no sourdough bread.

Why would I want my bread sour,
by the way? Seriously, I mean...

You're gonna love it, all right?

- Oh, great. Look at this.
- What?

I can see the sign from All American.

It says "urger."

It says "urger,"
but I know what they mean, and I know...

We got to switch. Switch with me.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Switch. Switch.

It's like a lighthouse calling you home.

There we go.

Well, I got to admit,
it was a nice surprise to get your call.

I thought you were gonna be
at the supermarket till 8:00.

Oh, yeah, uh, cute story. Um...

There might have been a little dustup

involving some cubes of cheese...

That were complimentary, by the way.

Mm-hmm. You quit?

Yeah, I did.

I also kissed Rose, the sample lady...

Just to make a point.

Wasn't sexy. Her teeth shifted.

It was weird. I'm telling you.

Should I be worried about this?

No! Trust me... She's not gonna sue.

She lit up like a
candle. I'm telling you.

That's not what I mean.

That's, like, the fifth job

you've walked out on in two months.

Honey, what's going on?

I know we need extra money, all right?

But I just can't take these
kids bossing me around anymore.

Okay, well, don't worry about the money.

We'll figure that out.

But you need to find
something that you like,

something you're passionate about.

Yeah, I would love that. That's awesome.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

What am I looking at here?

It's pho.

- It's what?
- Pho.

Well, pho looks like a clogged sink.

What are those chunks floating
around in there? What is that?

It's chicken. You love chicken.

Did he make this outside? What is this?

Okay, babe, it's seasoning!

Just try it!

Okay.

Good?

Hold the pho-one.

Yeah!

This is insane.

This existed this whole time,

and you don't tell me about it?

Yeah, and wait till you try the beef.

This comes in beef?!

Oh, hey, babe.

Ugh. Never be a school nurse.

I had to send two kids
home with chicken pox,

and I'm so paranoid that I have it.

I'm, like, itchy. Will
you look at my back?

Your back is fine.

Where do you keep peanut worm?

- Um...
- Hey, hon, where's our peanut worm?

What... is happening?

- Let me get you caught up to speed.
- Yeah.

Remember that soup that
I loved last night?

- Yeah.
- Well, Mr. Chu here, he made it.

Oh. Oh, Mr. Chu, hi.

We... I showed him my back.
I'll tell you later.

All right, anyway, I went down

to the restaurant today and...

Well, long story short,
Mr. Chu works for me now.

Uh, with you.

This guy's got no filter.

- He's crazy.
- Um...

Wait. Working with you?

What... so you're opening
a Vietnamese restaurant?

Well, that was my first impulse,

but then I cooled my jets
and put my business cap on.

Chale, hit me up with it!

90% of all new restaurants
go belly-up within a year.

You know what doesn't go belly-up?

Food trucks.

That feels like it can't be true.

Chale.

A-Actually, you're both right.

But food trucks have a much
higher rate of success.

And currently, there are none
on Long Island that sell pho.

Thank you, Chale.

However, in my opinion...

Okay, you know what?
I will point to you when I need you.

So, yesterday, you
didn't know what pho was,

and now we're in the pho business?

You told me to find something
I'm passionate about.

Well, with this,
I can be my own boss, thanks to you.

Okay, well, that's great.

But how much is this gonna cost us?

It's just 25 grand.

What?!

Honey! We don't have 25 grand!

No, no, but we can swing 5,
and for the rest,

I brought in some investors.

Let's meet... the Sharks.

Three retired police officers

searching for their slice
of the American dream.

And my brother.

So, they're all into this?

Not yet... I got to pitch them.

But if we get four
yeses, we're in business.

Pho ready.

Oh! Pho ready. Let's do this.

- What? What?!
- Showtime.

Showtime!

Oh, Chale, please don't encourage him.

I just want him to like me.

Gentlemen, good afternoon.

I'd like to talk to you about
a little place called Vietnam.

Country of mystery.

Once our enemy, now our friend.

And at last, we can enjoy

one of their finest achievements... pho.

Pho?

Yes. Don't let the weird name scare you.

Think of it as a warm blanket

from our friends from the Far East.

What's all this green stuff?

This guy's like a caveman, I swear.

It's seasoning. Give it a shot.

Man, this is actually really good.

Right?

I love the hunks of meat at the bottom.

- It's like a... a treasure hunt.
- Yeah.

It's like a reward for pushing
away all the green stuff.

You know what?
I don't really mind the green stuff.

Minty... like a cross between
lettuce and brushing my teeth.

Okay, well, guys, that's great,

but is there even a business plan?

Because you can't have a
business without a plan.

I couldn't agree more. You know what?

Chale, slap the math on her!

The food-service industry

generates $782 billion a year.

If you were to make
just 1% of 1% of that,

you would all be quite wealthy.

Do you hear that?
Okay? This is not soup.

This is a ticket to happiness!

And what does that ticket cost?

Just $5,000. $5,000.

Per man.

I don't know... That's a lot of bacon.

Mott, can I ask you a question?

Are you happy?

I am.

Mott, are you happy?

Yeah, I'm... I am.

He's happy! He said he's happy.
Leave him alone.

I'm just saying I
don't think he's happy.

- What?!
- Mott. Look at me.

I want you to focus now.

Are... you... happy?

I'm not happy?

Thank you for admitting that.

That was big, okay?

Now, Duffy, please, let's be honest.

We know you're financially
dependent on your mom.

Don't you want to break free of that?

Yes, I do.

Then you got to do it.

You know what? You're right.
I'm gonna do it.

- I'll do it right now.
- No, no, no, wait.

You got to get the 5 grand
from Mommy first, and then...

Kyle.

Yeah. What?

What's 5 grand between brothers?

I'll just pull it from my
fireman's pension fund.

- Smart move.
- Actually, it's not.

There's, uh,
crazy penalties for early withdrawal.

No, no, no, man,
this whole deal sounds too risky.

'Cause it's a lot of risk.
It's a lot of risk.

Yeah, but you know what?
We're betting on ourselves.

That's the difference here.

You know what? I just ran the numbers.

I'm gonna have to take
out at least $7,000 to...

Kyle, nobody gives a crap.

You know what... I'm
gonna take out $8,000,

just to give myself a
little walking-around money.

You know what I'm saying?

Duffy's in, right? Kyle's in.

Goody, it's up to you.

Oh, man. I'm in, too.

Can't watch these guys
get rich without me.

- Yes!
- I'm in.

All right, Mott, you
are the missing piece.

What am I doing?

I'll just take out the full
$10,000 and treat myself.

Look, I got seven kids.

Yeah, and that's seven mouths to feed.

But... I want to be happy. I'm in.

- No!
- We got our four investors.

Come on, honey. I can't
do this without you.

Are we in?

I... Uh...

Okay, fine! We're in.

Awesome! 'Cause I already put
the down payment on the truck.

Hey, folks. Kevin Gable... CEO/founder.

I'd ask you how the soup is,
but that electric smile

tells me everything I need to know.

Once again, Kevin Gable... CEO/founder.

Hey. There you go. Enjoy.

We have been so busy all day.
You're a hit, Dad.

I told you. You having fun, sweetheart?

Yeah. Slinging soup in
a hotbox for no pay?

Living the dream.

That's my girl.

Hey, Mr. CEO, you want
to chop some onions?

Sorry, Mr. Chu,
but I'm a little busy out here

putting a face with the brand, okay?

No, you come in here,
take out the trash.

This guy knows nothing about branding.

You know what I'm saying?

Anyway, Kevin Gable... CEO and founder.

Wow! Honey, look at all these people!

It's working. Okay, you sound surprised.

I am. I mean, I'm not gonna lie.

I went and got more insurance

in case we had to torch this puppy.

That's funny.

No, I'm serious. I went and saw
Jeannie on the way over here.

Okay.

In the future, next
time I get a feeling,

you might want to ride with it.

Okay, you're right, you're right.

So, what's a girl got to do
to get some pho around here?

- Oh, well, for you...
- Yeah?

You got to wait in line and pay.

'Cause it's... it's a business.
I'm running a business.

Mm-hmm. All right, you're cute, kid.

I'm gonna get you one. Chicken or beef?

- Surprise me.
- Okay.

- With chicken.
- You got it.

Hey, sweetheart, just take one
of these out to your mom, okay?

Okay, yeah, um, Dad, this lady

wanted hers with no scallions, so...

Oh. Okay. Uh...

- Whoop!
- Sorry.

Mr. Chu, uh, this customer right here,

she wanted this one without scallions.

No special orders.

This is my grandmother's recipe.

No offense to your grandma,
but she's not here right now,

and this customer is.

So let's just... Let's
make an exception.

Okay.

Ahh. Scallions gone.

Okay.

Clearly,
this is not about the scallions, okay?

Obviously, you're on a power trip.

Without me, you're just a
thick man in a rusty truck.

Now you don't like the truck?

I like the truck. I don't like you.

You don't have to like me.
Just make the soup, okay?

Otherwise, I'll do it myself.

You make the pho?

It's not that difficult, okay?

It's basically Cup O'
Noodles with some meat floating around.

Sorry, Grandma Chu.

I don't need this!

- Oh!
- I quit!

Oh, fine.

No scallions, right,
you said? No scallions.

Okay, uh, we will be right with you.

The secret's in the slow cooking.

Dad, we need it now!

It's ready. Here we go, just like Chu's.

Tell me what you think.

Okay.

I called the investors meeting
a little early this month.

Oh, and I know why.

I drove by. I saw the line.

Ka-ching, ka-ching!

Yes, and we are gonna
continue having those lines

when we introduce
Kyle's Firehouse Chili!

What?

I thought we were here
to divvy up the profits.

Yeah, I want to be happy.

You're gonna be happy...

with Kyle's Firehouse Chili!

Something wrong with you? We sell pho.

We used to. We're pivoting.

- Pivoting?
- Chale.

"Pivoting" is a business
term to describe

when a company changes
its strategic direction.

Why are we changing anything?
We're doing great.

Yeah.

Hey, where's Mr. Chu.

Chale?

Mr. Chu has pivoted away
from the organization.

So we'll get a new pho guy.

Uh, we tried that, but, uh, apparently,

we have been blackballed by
the entire pho community.

What was it they called me?

Xe tai khi,

which is Vietnamese for "truck monkey."

Yes.

But don't worry, because...

No, no, don't point at
him and say "chili" again.

I wasn't gonna point at him.

I was gonna point at you...
'cause everybody loves

Goody's world-famous
egg salad sandwiches!

Have you lost your mind?

Okay, I want my money back.

- We got to sell the truck.
- Sell the truck.

- Yes.
- Whoa. Wait a second.

That is a decision
only the CEO can make,

and that's me, and I say we're pivoting.

Well, wait a minute...
We are the investors,

- so technically, you work for us.
- Mm.

I don't think it works that way. Chale?

It works exactly that way.

What did you think being a boss was?

Just walking around
giving people orders?

Kinda, yeah.

You have to sell the truck.

Now you're on the side of the investors?

Honey, it's the only side!

And, by the way, we are the investors.

We could lose a lot of money.

Who's gonna be stupid enough
to buy a used pho truck?

You! You bought a used pho truck!

Look, I called the
guy who sold it to me.

I tried to sell it to
him. He laughed at me.

Yeah, I figured.

But we do know a guy who
would want to buy it,

who's already in the pho business.

Mr. Chu? No way.

No, he said he liked the truck.

He knows you guys were killing it.

He called me a truck
monkey! He hates me!

I know!
I know, but you can talk him into it.

Honey, when you want something,

you are the most
persuasive person I know.

Okay, that's not true.

Oh, really?

Night we met... Mulcahy's.

You're out with your dumb friends,

You're making noise,

and you walk up to me
with your badge out,

and you say, "Excuse me",

I'm gonna have to arrest you
for being too beautiful."

I was pretty smooth, huh?

No, no! Smooth? No, it wasn't smooth.

You tripped on the way over.

You were eating a gyro,

and then when you introduced yourself,

you spit on me... here.

But you won me over

because you're so
charming and persuasive.

Wow. I got to say,
we remember things completely different.

- What?!
- Yes!

Okay. I was at the bar.

I was hanging out,
minding my own business, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- I notice you and your girlfriends

are all checking me out.

- Oh!
- Yeah.

You know how I know?
'Cause the temperature's rising.

The back of my neck feels like a...

Like a tater tot under a heat lamp.

Oooooh.

And then I turned to
you guys... I remember.

And I looked, and I said,

"That girl right there,
I'm going to marry her."

And then I thought,
"You know what? Nah."

I'm going for the tall,
skinny one instead."

Best decision I ever made.

Bet your life.

Okay, there he is.
Remember... Mulcahy's.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

But don't spit on him.

Gotcha.

Mr. Chewbacca! What up?

I am busy.

I thought about it, and
I just feel terrible

about messing with your
grandmother's recipe.

You know, and if... If she found out,

I figured she'd be
spinning in her grave.

She's not in a grave.
She's in the kitchen.

You keep her in the kitchen?

In an urn or something like that?

That would be disgusting, right?

Like in a chair, eating lunch.

She's not dead!

Oh.

How old is she?

I don't know. She's very old.

Truck. The truck.

Anyway, the point is,

I have to place you under arrest

for having some crazy-dreamy eyes.

You know what I'm talking about?

Honestly, I just...
I just want to swim in them.

I just want to swim in them.

But you're right... I'm not cut
out for the food truck business.

But you... You have a gift.

And all I'm here to do
is try to help you out

and sell you my truck.

I mean, come on.
It's good business. You know that.

You know, it already says "pho" on it,

so we're gonna give you that for free.

That's right.

You know, you're right.

- It's a very good business.
- Mm-hmm.

And that is why I bought
my own food truck today.

See you in the streets.

Okay. Well, I guess we're
stuck with the truck.

Unless you know some other
idiot who's sitting around

with a ton of money burning
a whole in his pocket.

Hey, chief. What brings you back?

Let me ask you a question, Owen.

Are you happy?

Wow.

I got to say, for an old guy,

you're still able to make
a few good decisions.

You're gonna love the truck.
Just make that out to "Gable."

It's G-A-B-L-E.

There you go. Thanks, bud.

All right.

Yes!

Hey, Mr. Gable.

Uh, did you want to be alone?

No, no, grab a beer. Sit down.

I just wanted to say, um...

I know things didn't turn
out exactly as you expected,

but, um, I really admire you.

You started a business.

You made something from nothing,

and that is a very hard thing to do.

Well, you know, I had
a business for a day.

You know, I had some customers.

For a moment, it was pretty sweet.

Oh. You've been bitten by the bug.

Entrepreneurs like
you and me, Mr. Gable,

we dream big dreams
and we take big risks,

and sometimes, they don't work out.

But we never give up.

We just regroup and come back stronger.

Thank you, Chale. I-I hope so.

I speak from experience.

I once had a business that
I was very passionate about.

It... It was a great idea.

I put everything I had into it.

Didn't work out.

What did you do?

Well...

Ohhh.

I, uh...

You moved in my garage, didn't you?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

And you live there rent-free
so you could "regroup."

I probably should've
thought this all through

- before I started talking.
- Yeah.

Um...

I will leave you to your thoughts.

Okay.

And leave the beer to
my thoughts, as well.