Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021–2022): Season 2, Episode 2 - The Way We Were - full transcript

You tried to kill Kevin.

- Help! Help!
- No! Shh!

Chuck's been cheating
on me.

I'm offering you
something real.

Being with you
is going to save me?

It'd be an improvement.

No, no, no.
Patti...

I brought him
to the hospital.

Having him sedated in there
is better

than dead in my basement.

At least now you're free
to focus



on whatever you're doing
to Kevin.

Somehow, I made him famous.
I can't kill him.

I'm stuck here like this
until I die.

I figured it out.

I know what
we're going to do.

Damn it!

Neil.

Neil.

Hey.

Jesus.

Oh, the nightmare
continues.

You're out of the basement.
It's an improvement, right?

Like I'm supposed to
thank you?

Patty got me here.



Uh, no.

No, both of us decided that
that had to happen.

Please.
With what I have over you?

Here's the thing, Neil...
You don't have anything over me.

I own you.
What makes you think...

We never tried
to kill Kevin.

You did.

You paid Nick to break in
and shoot Kevin in his sleep.

Wait, you hired
that psycho?

No. We have no
connection to him.

Neither of us have
even met him before.

I'm just
a helpless housewife.

But you...
You have a record,

and you knew Nick
from way back.

You were on the hockey team
with him at Burn coat, right?

Me and 15 other guys.

Right, but none of them
were advertising

the grudge
they had against Kevin

to Detective Ridge way
on the morning of the break-in.

You came in yelling
to my apartment

that Kevin
had betrayed you.

- So what?
- I know you know what this means.

All you have is a story,
and it sounds insane.

And it doesn't really help
that it's coming from you.

So, I guess when you
really think about it...

who owns who?

Do you really think
that's gonna keep him quiet?

I don't know.

Your neck looks better.

Yeah, 'cause I have like a pound
of concealer on it.

I think maybe just keeping this
all hidden right now

is the right thing to do.

What about after that?

It's not exactly true that we
don't have a connection to Nick.

I have
a longer-term solution.

Ah, is that what your voicemail
was about?

It sounded like a riddle.

"I'm fine. Put it all on me.
I figured it out."

Sorry, I think I was still
a little drunk when I left that,

but, um...

there's a Dunkin
across the street.

Let's go have some donuts
and I'll fill you in, okay?

No.

Okay, not some donuts.
Adonut.

No. I mean...

I don't want
to know what you're doing.

I really don't want
to know anything anymore.

I'm trying to fix this.

And how does that
usually go, Allison?

Look, this has been
the worst 72 hours of my life,

and I meant it
when I said I'm out.

Okay.

So, I'm gonna go home,
I'm gonna get in bed

until they discharge him
in the morning.

- Fine.
- Please do the same.

Oh.

Tanya Iacono.

You remember Tanya?

'Course.
Lost her virginity

to Jay McMahon in the bathroom
at Chuck E. Cheese

in Fitchburg.

Awful.

I feel for you.

I do.

But I'm usually the one
catching the affair.

So, what are you
looking for from me?

Well, this... this
was my niece's idea.

We wanted to see
what kind of services

you offer
to someone like Diane.

Someone who doesn't
realistically

have the option
of divorce.

I-I don't?

It's expensive.
It would take years.

It would take Chuck
actually letting you leave.

So, um, do you
just look into people,

or can you kind of
order off the menu?

So you're looking
for a way out?

Well, I... Yes. Yes.

Um, I have heard of women,
you know, getting out.

They just disappear.

People assume that they...
That they died.

So, how realistic
is that?

You ever see "Snapped"?

No.

Do I look like someone
who would watch that?

I'm just saying,
doing it is realistic.

Diane getting away
with it's another thing.

I'm sorry. I-I'm not even sure
I want to leave Chuck,

and now I'm
on "Snapped"?

No, no, no, no, no.
But, um...

Oh.

Ugh.
He's calling.

Yes?

Oh, you have got
to be kidding me.

Yeah.
Well, it's not my fault

you don't know where
the can opener is, okay?

I don't use it.

No, I did not hide it.

It is a can opener,
not a Fabra-Jay Egg.

Excuse me
for just a moment.'Course.

None of your business
who I'm talking to.

Oh, well, that's
something coming from you!

Someone who got more hair
on your back

than you've ever
had on your face!

Marriage, right?

Oh, yeah! Oh, no!
Tell me another one!

So... It was real nice of you
to bring your aunt down here.

Out of the kindness
of your heart.

Yeah, well, she's family.

Yeah. She paid the $350 retainer
to talk to me.

Moron!

Do you have $350?Moron! Yes.

Now you understand it?

I told you...

Feel free to come back
when you do.

Move over!

Well, it's not my fault that
we don't have better Wi-Fi!

Hi.

Hi.
I know.

People who show up
at front doors

without calling
are very intense,

but the electricity
is out at my place,

which means my phone is dead
and my heat is off,

and I swear, if I spend
one more minute there,

I might lose my little toe
to frostbite.

Oh.And it's the cute toe.

The other ones kind of
just look like peanut shells.

Gosh, they're all cute.

So you want
to stay here?

Just until the power company
gets its act together.

Unless it's a bad time?

Not at all.
Come in.

Mwah.

Hey, um, I'm glad
we did this today.

The PI and the coffee.

I've missed you.
Ah.

Yeah, you too, sweets.

God, you know, you ask for light
with cream and sugar,

and they always skimp.

You know, I was thinking
I'd get to see you even more

if, uh, I started working
at the liquor store again.

I thought you got that cushy
waitressing job at the diner.

Well, I do, but it's only
part time, and I'm...

I'm just trying
to save up right now.

Oh, yeah?
For what?

Vacation.

Mm.

Well, I already hired
Frankie DeLanzo's kid.

You know, he smells like one of
those teen stores at the mall,

but, uh, he does not quit on me
in the middle of a workday.

Ah. If you need
cash quick, you know,

why don't you
just hock something?

Like at a pawnshop? Yes.

It's a perfectly
respectable thing to do.

Compared to what?

Oh, look, I needed money for
girls' weekend at Foxwoods,

and Chuck said no,
so what did I do?

I, uh, pawned
his gold chain.

He hadn't worn it
in 10 years.

Didn't even notice.

Maybe we can find
something else of Chuck's.

Well, Chuck thinks
a can opener's valuable, so...

Does Kevin
have a gold chain?

No, Kevin says man jewelry
is for "I-talians."

Oh. You know, maybe there's
something in the storage unit.

What storage unit? Oh, it's Chuck's.

Kevin put a bunch
of his valuables in there

after the break-in.

Any way you can
get me in there?

Uh, I mean, I'd have to
steal Chuck's key.

So, sure. Yeah.

You don't have to
clean for me.

What?
But you're a guest,

and guests are blessed
and deserve your best.

Allison says that.

I'm donating it.

And others.

You've been reading
that one for a while.

I need a Red Bull.

You want anything?

Is that Neil?

Hey.

Hi.

What are you
doing out here?

They discharged me early.

Okay, um, it's...

It's freezing out,
so go inside,

'cause you look...

Well,
you've looked better.

Really? 'Cause, you know,
I feel terrific

after getting bottled and
bleeding from the head for...

Hey.

How's it going, Neil?

I was just telling Patty,
it's been a rough couple days,

but really nice
of you two to check in.

And Allison.

Hi.
Hi.

Hi.Hi.

Hi.

This is fun.

So, what do you think
of my new haircut?

I love it.

Sometimes
a transformational haircut

can be a good thing,
right?

Sometimes.

Yeah, well,
wasn't really my choice.

Doctors shaved a weird patch
to staple a giant wound.

Oh!

I'm so sorry.
I, uh...

That...
It looks so painful.

I'm just...
I'm sorry that happened.

Yeah,
that is pretty gross.

Tammy, can you believe
I got such bad food poisoning,

I passed out and hit my head on
the tile floor of the bathroom?

Yes.
He had that, uh...

He had that thing
that I had.

The bug.

A few days ago.

Yeah, that bug.

Yeah, that bug.

Okay, well,
if you need anything,

we're right downstairs.

Yes.
I will just...

- Oh. Sorry.
- Sorry.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Okay.
- Bye, there. Bye.

Mm-hmm.

Allison, you home?

Oh, Neil?

Kev!
Oh, buddy!

Oh, I'm sorry I was gone
for so long.

I appreciate that, but maybe
you should apologize

for this hair first.
Oh, my gosh.

I mean, I know this is never
what somebody wants to hear

right after a haircut,
but what happened?

I actually... I mean, 'cause you have

the general vibe
of a sad dog in a cone.

That's true.
A lot went down...

Like, you know how they say
that sore thumbs stick out?

You actually
look like that.

Like... Like a big, red,
angry, sore thumb.

What the hell
happened, man?

I, um...

I passed out when I got food
poisoning and cracked my head.

I-I had to get stitches.

It hurts so... I was gonna guess

that you got gum
stuck in there

when you passed out
in a gutter.

Oh, God!
I was close!

But I'm... I'm fine.

I'm back, and I will always
be here for you.

Well, that is excellent,
if not a little intense.

But it's actually, uh,
got me thinking.

You know,
as a newly minted

and very, very busy
local celebrity,

I'm...
I'm quite overwhelmed.

I-I get it, man.
I mean, I feel like...

You know, I have this
big interview coming up,

I've got
ribbon-cutting ceremonies,

and, of course, I still have
my regular 9:00-to-3:00 job.

And I'm big enough to admit
when I need help.

Help sounds great.
Yeah, thank you.

Which is exactly
what I wanted to hear,

because I have the opportunity
of a lifetime for you.

I choose you
to be my altar boy.

My go-to guy.

My Girl Friday!

Except I'm a boy.

Except you're a boy.

You are gonna be
my new official assistant.

Oh. A distraction
does sound pretty good.

Great!
But the job is devotion, Neil.

You'll put
your own problems aside

and think
of only me, 24/7.

That sounds...

amazing.

Ah! Oop!

I'll have
what she's having!

Blblblbl!

Alright, well,
enough with this nonsense.

You're on the clock.
Get me some pizza rolls.Okay.

Welcome to Chuck's
super-crucial storage unit.

40 bucks a month because
he wouldn't throw away

an airplane propeller
coffee table.

Uh-huh.

Kevin's stuff's over there.

You okay, D?
Oh, yeah.

I always burst a blood vessel
if I cry too hard.

So what are we
looking for again?

We are looking
for a stupid goddamn...

Wade Boggs rookie card.

I wonder how much of our rent
he spent on this.

You got these?

Ah. Yeah.
Grandma left them to me.

I used to wear them all the time
until I met Kevin

and he said
they made me look like

a poor man's
Wilma Flint stone.

Those are
the same ones, huh?

Yeah, I always figured
they were fake.

You used to wear them to work
at the Packie under your smock.

Yeah.

I like them.

Eh. I do see the
Wilma Flint stone thing.

Kevin's still gonna
say something.

You know what?

I don't care.

Oh, my God.
It's Neil.

Um, shoot!
Shoot!

Hey.

'Sup?

I'm just here to grab
Kevin's lucky Red Sox hat

before I pick up
his hot sauce samples.

I'm Kevin's
assistant now.

Yeah, uh,
that's, uh...

I was just here
to pick up...

my can opener.

Ha!

My can opener.

You wanna see?

Sure. Oops.

Dropped it.

Oh, shiny.

It's nice.

Yeah.
Well, you know, just...

Yeah.
I'm gonna...

Okay. Yeah, it's in one
of these boxes somewhere.

I'm gonna open a can.

Okay.

Bye.

Diane, who knew?

Ow. Stupid...

Alright, where are you?

Chinese.

Fun.

Are you okay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Fine.

I'm great.

So, work's been a lot.

That guy who broke
into Allison's?

He had some weird pill bottle
on him when he did.

The only one
not from Fiore's.

That's weird.

It's just one of those things
that you'll never understand

and you have to let go.

Every case has them.

But this guy...

I don't know.

He was weird?

Yes, it feels
like an itch.

Mm.
Not that one.

Has cashews.
So?

So you hate cashews.

Yeah, but how
do you know that?

Because I pay attention.

I thought
you wanted to quit.

I changed my mind.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Nope, nope, nope!
You're banned from the kitchen.

Pip-pip,
get out of here.

Can I be pip-pip banned
from the whole house?

It's just the next two hours,
okay?

I need space. I'm prepping
for my big newspaper interview.

You're drinking while wearing
tiny glasses.

That's not prepping.

Ah.
I should have known.

You always act
all high and mighty

when you wear
those pearls.

What, you think
you're better than me?

Yes.

Well, do you have
a huge interview

with the Worcester paper?

No. And it's gonna decide
whether the Worcester Wild Dude

is a flash in the pan
or a household brand.

Like Coca-Cola
but for Wild Dudes.

I think
that's Mountain Dew.

Oh, wait, wait.
Uh...

Oh, just let me
be banned.

Uh, my dad says that
the Wild Dude

is more aspirational
if he's not married,

so if you see the interviewer,
we're cousins, cool?

Well, being related to you
is less pathetic

than being married
to you, so...

Hello.

Allison.

Okay,
so you're still upset.

What do you mean? You only call me Allison
when you're pissed off at me.

That's not true.

Yes, it is.

You also like to play
with things on the counter

when you're
feeling flirty.

You're like...

Shoot.
Jesus, Allison.

Shoot!

See?

I know that we both, uh, said
some things the other day...

Said?

Yelled. We yelled some things
the other day.

Mm-hmm.

But we've known
each other so long.

Can we just try?

Yeah. Sure.

Good. Great.

So, Sam, how are you?

I'm good.
How are you?

Mm.

I'm good.

Well, in the same of our deep
and longstanding friendship,

um, I'm in a bit of a
tough position right now,

and I need some money,
so I was hoping that...

Okay,
I'm gonna stop you.

Um, I'm sorry you're
going through

whatever you're
going through today,

but, uh...

I can't give you
your job back.

W-What?

No, I-I was just...
I was gonna ask you

if your uncle still owns
that pawnshop in Sudbury.

But I-I don't
work here anymore?

You didn't want my help
anymore, right? Well, I never said that.

Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, you yelled it.

Look, I-I know I-I've been
a lot lately, okay? Okay.

But I really am
trying, okay?

All I want
is to be Allie again.

I understand.

But I can't work
with you anymore.

Fine.

And my uncle who owned
the pawnshop died.

Great.

No. I... I'm so sorry
that he di...

That he has passed on.

He was very nice.

Neil?

Neil!

What are you doing?

I need a hat. You're wearing a hat.

I know I'm wearing a hat,
but I need a different one.

I promised Kevin I'd find
his vintage Red Sox hat,

but I went to the storage unit
and dug through everything,

and it still
wasn't there!

Ah, shit!

Shut up.

Tammy is right downstairs.

Neil? Neil.

Please.

Please don't say or do
anything stupid, okay?

If you start this thing
with Allison,

it's just gonna
cause you more trouble.

And you're already...

If you need help
or something...

...I'm around.

Get out.

I said get out.

You got to wait
till this one closes.

Ah.

- What's in there?
- Smirnoff.

- And?
- Ice.

You want my help here
or not?

Yeah. Sorry.
Yes.

Hello.

Hello. Uh, we would like
to pawn an item.

Yep.
No shit.

Hey, James.

Diane. Hey.

Um, sorry to hear
about Chuck and Tanya.

Yeah, so we're looking
to get about $400.

That's Wade Boggs.
Rookie card.

It's worth
at least that.

I could do $275.

Okay,
she's my niece, okay?

You can't screw her over.
So come on, $375.

Fine, but don't tell anyone
I go easy on you.

All this
for a vacation, huh?

You really think a weekend in
Branson is gonna fix everything?

Worcester's a trap,
Diane.

Well, that's a nice thing to say
to someone who still lives here.

So do I.

Doesn't mean
we can't leave.

Yeah, um, I can't give you
anything for this.

I'm actually gonna
have to take it.

Take it and not give me
any money?

That's not how...
Not how pawn works.

Yes, thank you,
but this is stolen.

Oh, no. It...
No. It's not.

Um, it's my husband's.

So, legally, it is mine.

Property-wise.
'Kay?

It's not...
It is not stolen.

Maybe you didn't do it,
but this was stolen.

It's in a database here
as belonging to Brenda Daly.

Stolen eight years ago.

See the back right here?
"To Brenda."

I'm gonna have to report this
to the police.

Oh. N...

You are not.

Who do you think I am?

That do-gooder Timmy Cray
over at Pawn-Porium?

But, um, I am gonna
have to take this.

God damn it, Kevin.

You know, I've actually been
in the newspaper before.

Once upon a time,
I was Worcester's largest baby,

14 pounds, 12 ounces.

Natural delivery,
of course.

Wow. That's...

Wow.
Yep.

My head stayed pretty much
the same size

since the day
I was born.

Tip of the hat
to your mother.

She's dead.

Uh, feel free to include
all of this in the article.

Ah, yes, my, uh,
assistant is back.

Hi. I'm Kevin's assistant
and fun partner, Neil.

Bad news.
I couldn't get the hat.

- Did you even look for it?
- Well, of course I did, but...

"Buts" are for excuses
and strip clubs, Neil.

Did you at least bring
my buffalo sauce samples?

I sure did.
No "if"s, "and"s, or "asses."

Ah.

Okay, gimme, gimme.

A local bar is naming
a wing sauce after me,

but so far,
none of these samples

have been nearly hot enough.

These sauces have
simply been too mild

for the
Worcester Wild...

Dude.

You want to, uh,
write that down?

Nah.

Um, Neil, uh, why don't you
go grab us some, uh,

afternoon tea
and leave the room?

Yep. On it.
Of course.

What's this?

Uh, I'm gonna
get out of here.

Why?
I have a work thing,

and then, um,
I'm gonna head to my brother's.

He's got a pullout.

His kid won't shut up
about "Frozen,"

but he's got a pullout.

Dude, you don't...

If you want to stay here,
you can stay here.

Do you want me to stay?

Yeah.

U...

- Hey, give me that.
- No, stop.

Give me.
That's not yours.

Aah! No, no!

Aah! Aah!

Give me that. Hey, hey. Stop! Stop!

Give me my phone.

Neil, why does
the kettle sound like

Allison trying to explain
something to me?

Sorry.
I-I drifted.

Neil, what did I say
about drifting?

"It's only for cars
in the Tokyo-based installment

of the 'Fast and the Furious'
franchise."

Right. It was true then,
it's even truer now.

Come on, bud.
I need you to get focused.

I know, I know.
I'm trying.

A-And you've been such
a wonderful, if demanding, boss.

But I need to get
my head on straight.

I gotta
tell you something.

Didn't you just tell me
something, like, last week?

I mean, what else
could there be?

Sh... She's trying
to kill you.

The reporter?

I mean, that is an awfully
short skirt she's wearing.

No, no, no, no.

Not the reporter.

Allison.

Allison tried
to kill you.

Oh, that?
Oh, yeah, I knew about that.

What?
Yeah.

I mean, Neil,
what is marriage

if not a death sentence,
right?

No, no, no, Kev, she tried... You know, that's actually
a pretty good line.

I'm gonna say that
to the lady reporter

to explain why
the Worcester Wild Dude

has been
a bachelor for life.

Let's go! No, Kev, wait.

She... She hired...

But grab
those drinks first.

Sorry about that.
Ready when you are.

Okay.
We are all set.

So, Kevin, what would you say
is your best quality?

That's a wonderful question,
Kelly.

I'd say that my best quality
is probably my ability

to keep total cool
in any situation.

Would you care
to elaborate on that?

Oh, uh,
a-are you okay?

Ah! A-Are the wings too spicy?

No. No. No.

No.

Uh, no, it's...

Good.
It's just, uh...

Not too spicy.
I love spicy.

I love spicy.

You know...

Aah!

Whoo!
Is it hot in here?

Oh, God.

Ooh! Eyes! Ah!

It's, uh...
It's just my eyes are sweaty.

I got sweaty eyes.

Are you sure
you don't need anything?

No, no, no.
A brief...

I'll be... be right back.
I promise I'll be right back.

I'm great. Don't worry.

Alright, I got...

...the tea.

Oh, it feels so good
to get the cold cream

on the old
money-maker, you know?

Now, what was
your question?

Hey, D, it's me.

Uh, I need to get into the
storage unit again tomorrow,

'cause there's got to be
some more of Kevin's stuff

I can hock.

Hock.

Yeah, hock. Ho...
It di... didn't sound right.

Uh, anyway, call me back.
Bye.

Kelly?

Oh, my God.
Allison Devine?

Hi.
Hi.

What are you
doing here?

I'm interviewing
this ridiculous guy...

Wait, what are you doing here?
Do you live here?

Uh, yeah. That ridiculous guy
is my husband.

Oh.
Sorry.

Ah, it doesn't matter.

He's actually,
you know...

The readers are gonna love him.
I mean, it's Worcester.

Yeah, you bet.
You bet.

So, uh, you work
at the Chronicle.

That's cool.

Yeah.

You wanna come in,
answer some questions with him?

No. No.
He's all yours.

No one wants
to read about me.

You were in the paper like
every other week in high school.

Well, that was
a long time ago.

Come on. I could put
a little thing in there

about that relay junior year
at Nationals.

We could relive our glory days
a little bit.

I don't know if they're glory
days if you come in second.

Well, we would have probably
come in first that next year

if you hadn't have bailed.

I just mean...
I didn't get it.

You probably could've gone
to college or something.

Maybe not BC
but, like, a state school.

I never really
thought about it.

What do you mean?

Everybody wanted
to get out of here.

You at least had a shot.

No.

No, I really didn't.

Oh, thank God.

For a second,
I wasn't sure it was you.

I don't want
to be me anymore.

And I am so sorry,
but I need your help.

Hi.

- Officers, hello.
- Hi.

I'll see you later? Okay.

Let us know
if you need anything. Thank you.

Ugh.

I'm sorry,
is this a funeral?

You said you were
at a work thing. I am.

Oh, you forgot to mention
the people in mourning part.

Well, it's for Bram,

so there are really like
only two people really mourning.

Both are his sisters, and both
are as horrible as he was.

Uh, he was your partner.

Yes.
He was from Charles town,

and I was his gay,
black, lady partner.

Oh.Guess how that went?

I cut him slack when he was
alive, but that's done.

Besides,
he died on the john.

It's hard to find that tragic,
even with Elvis.

So, this is why
you've been so sensitive?

I'm being sensitive? Yeah.

You left.

Okay, I get that
you're new to this.

Women?
Feelings.

I can deal with the commitment
freakout or whatever,

but I'm not gonna stick around
where I'm not wanted.

You are.
You are. I...

Okay,
I know I can be...

Resentful?

Stubborn?

Cold?

Okay,
maybe don't guess.

I don't love sharing.

I'm bad at it.
So, I guess...

I'm sorry.
I was feeling a little invaded.

I remembered that you
didn't like cashews.

Yeah. I obviously have
a lot of shit to figure out.

Whoo!

Baggage.

I swear to you,
I am working on it.

Because I really do
want you around.

A lot.

Okay?

Okay.

We really can't make out
at a funeral.

You sure?
Yeah.

But, um, you want
to stay for a bit?

I mean, Bram was the worst,
but he gave us an open bar.

I'd love to,
but I can't tonight.

Why?

Baggage.

But I swear,
I'm working on it.

You look good.

I am so sorry
for your loss.

- Thanks.
- Thank you.

Gentlemen, we are here
to celebrate victory.

Somehow, I was able to rally
and spin Neil's failure...

My failure? Yes, I'm glad you agree.

Your failure into an article
that the newspaper lady

previewed as
"Exactly what she expected."

Oh, and despite Allison blowing
my cover about being married

and Neil's short yet disastrous
tenure as my assistant...

Wait, I'm fired? Yes.

I-I'm glad you agree
that you should be fired.

The Worcester Wild Dude
continues his journey

towards fame
and worldwide influence.

Oh, I feel
dumber already.

Hey, where are you
off to?

Hanging out with Patty.

Oh, she's still next door?

I assumed she'd moved in
with the lady cop by now.

No, no.
That's on the third date.

Leave her alone. Leave her alone.

Hey, uh, if you see
Tammy over there,

will you tell her
that the Worcester Wild Dude

wants to do a ride-along.

And I want a key
to the city.Okay.

And a-a milkshake!

I love being famous.

This guy
couldn't have met you

in a well-lit coffee shop
or an office or something?

Well, he picked the spot.
I didn't want to put him out.

Are you that surprised
I'm bad at negotiating?

No. Once, I saw you
pay Kevin $20

so he wouldn't wear
sweats to a wake.

Yeah, my cousin's,
and he wore cargo shorts.

Well, I will let you do
the negotiating from now for us.

Allison, no.

I am not here for us,
okay?

I am helping you
with this one last... thing.

Just say it.
Fake my own death.

Because when you go, you're
talking all this shit with you

and everything you
dragged me into. I know.

Tammy is still asking questions
about Nick.

We broke my brother.

Ever since I actually
made the decision

to start talking to you,

I don't think that I've had
one day that's felt normal.

Or easy.

You're pretty much
a pain in my ass,

and most days...

...you suck.

I know that, too.

Well, if you're gonna be
angry drinking,

the least you could do
is share.

It's vodka.
You hate vodka.

How do you know that?

You said it once.

Don't run.

- Stop.
- Hi.

Took you long enough.

Sorry.

We had to walk.

To a deserted
parking lot.

Can you do anything alone?
Who's this?

Wh... Protection.

For the deserted
parking lot.

Well, this felt safest.

I can't go to my office
right now or house.

Are you sure
about this guy?

Chuck heard I met with Diane
and thinks I helped her leave.

Took a bat
to the Wagoneer.

Wait, what?

I love this car.

No, no, no, no.
What do you mean "leave"?

Apparently, she's on the road
to South Carolina.

Took off in the middle of
the night, left Chuck a note.

God help her.

So the $350.

Yeah, um...

Well, this is, uh...
This worth a lot more than that.

You really are bad
at negotiating.

You two seem like
a lot of work.

But you have my services.

Great. So, what are you after?

Another cheating husband?

Maybe you want to track down
your birth parents?

Uh, no.
This is, uh...

much, much more complicated
than that.

We're a lot of work.

Hi.
Hi.

I'm Kevin. Run for your life.

She's freaked out
and doesn't want to go along.

It's just Allison.
You really can't blow her off.

Wow.
Sorry, I said I would try

with her, and I will.

This is your best bet
for a new identity.

Look for a name and background
that works.

Who the hell
is this guy?