Keeping Up Appearances (1990–1995): Season 1, Episode 5 - Daisy's Toyboy - full transcript

ARE YOU QUITE SURE MY MILK
WENT INTO A CLEAN BOTTLE?

VERY GOOD. I DO LIKE A MILKMAN
WITH CLEAN FINGERNAILS.

YOU MAY BRING
AN EXTRA YOGURT TOMORROW.

YOU SEE HOW
CLEANLINESS PAYS?

AND EXTRA YOGURT-
WOW.

WHAT FLAVOR?
- SURPRISE ME.

I'D LOVE TO.

THERE'S THAT
DREADFUL DOG AGAIN.

HE'S ALWAYS COMING INTO MY
GARDEN AND MAKING GESTURES.

I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

JUST A MINUTE,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING, RICHARD?



YOU WANTED THE ROSES
DEADHEADED.

AREN'T WE FORGETTING
SOMETHING?

I KISSED YOU GOOD MORNING.
DIDN'T I KISS YOU GOOD MORNING?

IT'S NOT THAT, DEAR.
YOU'RE NOT WEARING A TIE.

I-I-I'M GONNA
DEADHEAD THE ROSES.

I WILL NOT HAVE YOU STANDING
OUT IN THE STREET HALF-DRESSED.

WE HAVE A SOCIAL POSITION
TO MAINTAIN.

OH, MORNING, ELIZABETH.

OH, GOOD MORNING,
MARJORIE.

MORNING, PHYLLIS.
- SHALL YOU BE COMING LATER?

TO THE CHURCH HALL?
OH, YES-

EXPECT I SHALL BE
COMING WITH HYACINTH.

HOW DO YOU MANAGE
TO LIVE NEXT DOOR TO HYACINTH?

OH, YOU GET
USED TO IT.



I THINK THAT'S TERRIBLE.
FANCY HAVING TO GET USED TO IT.

I CAN'T STAND HER.

SHE ONCE INVITED ME TO ONE
OF HER CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS.

OH, THEM!
- YOU GET USED TO THEM TOO.

YOU POOR THING.

ABSOLUTELY
CAN'T STAND HER.

IF THAT DOOR OPENED NOW,
I'D HIDE.

THATTOO.

YOU SEE?
THAT'S BETTER.

I FEEL A BIT OVERDRESSED.

I WILL NOT HAVE YOU
OUT THERE GARDENING

WITH YOUR SHIRTS
WIDE OPEN.

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'LL BE LOOKING LIKE ONSLOW.

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO ADMIRE
ONSLOW'S RELAXED ATTITUDE TO LIFE.

ONSLOW'S IDEA OF WHAT
TO DO WITH A GARDEN

IS TO ABANDON
AN OLD CAR IN IT.

BUT HE ENJOYS LIFE.
- EXACTLY!

WHAT KIND OF IRRESPONSIBILITY IS THAT?

WELL, I'LL BE OFF THEN.

WIPE YOUR FEET BEFORE
YOU COME BACK IN, DEAR.

RIGHT. GOT THAT.

MORNING, LADIES.

HAVE YOU LOST SOMETHING?

Elizabeth: YES.
- Others: NO!

Elizabeth: NO!
- Others: YES!

WORM.

WE THOUGHT WE SAW A WORM.

AH.

IT SEEMED A VERY
UNUSUAL SORT OF WORM.

VERY!

WELL, CAN'T STAND HERE
ALL DAY.

OH, IT'S YOU, ONSLOW.
HOW ARE YOU?

YOU NEEDN'T
GO INTO DETAIL,

THIS IS MERELY AN INQUIRY
AFTER YOUR GENERAL HEALTH.

I'M SORRY YOU HAVE
A MOSQUITO BITE,

BUT ITS EXACT LOCATION IS
REALLY NO BUSINESS OF MINE,

DESPITE OUR BEING
RELATED THROUGH MARRIAGE.

YES, ONSLOW,
I'M SURE MOST PEOPLE

WONDER HOW YOU MANAGED
TO GET BITTEN THERE,

BUT THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF
SPECULATION I CARE TO PURSUE.

THANK YOU, ONSLOW, THAT'S ENOUGH
OF THE COARSE REMARKS.

I WISH TO CONVERSE
WITH MY SISTER.

DAISY, GOOD MORNING, DEAR.

WHAT WAS ONSLOW WEARING?

OH, I HATE TALKING TO ONSLOW
WHEN HE'S ONLY WEARING A VEST.

NO WONDER HE GETS
MOSQUITO BITES IN ODD PLACES.

HOW'S DADDY?

HEAVILY SEDATED, GOOD.

I THINK IT'S BEST,
DON'T YOU?

IT SUITS HIM, BLESS HIM.

SOMETIMES I THINK
IT MIGHT SUIT ONSLOW.

NOW, WHY I'M CALLING, DAISY,

IS THAT I SHAN'T BE ABLE
TO VISIT TODAY AFTER ALL.

BY POPULAR DEMAND

I'VE BEEN INVITED TO TAKE CHARGE
OF THINGS AT THE LADIES' CIRCLE.

YES, WE'RE HAVING
A VISITING SPEAKER

AND THEY NEED ME THERE

TO GIVE THINGS A LITTLE
STYLE AND POLISH.

I COULDN'T MISS IT,
THEY WOULDN'T ALLOW IT,

THEY RELY ON ME TOTALLY.

ALL ALONE, RICHARD?
- AT THE MOMENT, YES.

HYACINTH INDOORS, IS SHE?
- UH-HUH.

NOT A BAD MORNING.
- NO, VERY PLEASANT.

COFFEE, ELIZABETH!

DAMN SHOELACES.

LISTEN, I MUST BE GOING.

DID I HEAR A SUMMONS
TO COFFEE?

YES. BETTER GO.

OH, ELIZABETH!
YES?

COFFEE?

OH, YES, OF COURSE.

THE BACK DOOR, DEAR.

ELIZABETH?

OH, THERE YOU ARE, DEAR.

OF COURSE, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN GARDENING,
YOU COULD HAVE COME IN AT THE FRONT.

I HAD CHANGED MY SHOES
AND WASHED MY HANDS.

WHAT I ALWAYS DO
WHEN I'VE BEEN GARDENING

IS CHANGE MY SHOES
AND WASH MY HANDS.

DO SIT DOWN, ELIZABETH,
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.

Both: NOT THERE, DEAR, I
LIKE TO FACE THE WINDOW.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HAPPIER
WITH A BEAKER,

RATHER THAN WITH MY DELICATE
HAND-PAINTED CHINA.

OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

FOR SOME REASON, I'M ALWAYS A BUNDLE
OF NERVES WHEN I'M IN YOUR HOME.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY, DEAR, YOU SHOULD
HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF.

WELL, I DO TRY.
- I'M SURE YOU DO, DEAR.

BUT IT CAN'T BE EASY
WHEN YOU'RE ALL THUMBS.

HAVE YOU TOLD
ONSLOW YET?

TWICE.
- WHAT'D HE SAY?

I DON'T THINK
HE WAS LISTENING.

ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM?!
- I'M GOING TO TELL HIM!

COME ON, THEN,
IN YOU COME.

COME IN.
- GO ON, FOLLOW HER.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- COME ON.

COME ON, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

SHUT UP, YOU!
- JUST BE QUIET.

ONSLOW?
- HMM?

I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU-
- HANG ON, THEY'RE NEARLY OFF.

I'M IN LOVE, ONSLOW,
WITH A 17-YEAR-OLD.

HE'S GOT A GOOD CHANCE, THIS.
I'VE GOT TWO QUID ON IT.

ONSLOW, I'M TRYING
TO TELL YOU,

YOUR WIFE IS IN LOVE
WITH A 17-YEAR-OLD!

THAT'S DISGUSTING,
THAT IS.

INTERRUPTING A BLOKE'S
PRIME TIME VIEWING.

ANYBODY WE KNOW?

I THOUGHT HE
BELONGED TO ROSE?

HE DID-BUT THEY FOUND
THEY WEREN'T COMPATIBLE.

OH, HE'S NICE ENOUGH.
WE JUST WEREN'T COMPATIBLE.

HOW OLD IS HE?
- 17!

IS HE OLD ENOUGH
TO SMOKE?

OH, TA.

KEEP THE PACK.

OH, CHEERS!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN KEEP HIM
INTERESTED TILL HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK?

AW, NO! LOOK,
I'VE MISSED IT NOW.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST BUG OFF
AND LET ME WATCH THE REPLAY.

NOW, I DON'T INTEND TO
MAKE A BIG ISSUE OF IT.

I'D RATHER IT BECAME CLEAR GRADUALLY

THAT I BROUGHT MY OWN
DELICATE, HAND-PAINTED CHINA

FOR THE BENEFIT
OF THE GUEST SPEAKER,

MYSELF AND OTHER
PROMINENT MEMBERS.

HMMM?

PHYLLIS.

HAVE YOU SEEN A GHOST?
- IT'S WORSE THAN THAT!

HYACINTH.
- All: HYACINTH!

NOW, YOU WILL BE CAREFUL
WITH MY CHINA, RICHARD?

I WILL, IF I CAN SEE.

OH, NO! DON'T ASK ME TO CARRY
YOUR BEST CHINA, HYACINTH.

I CAN'T BEAR
THE RESPONSIBILITY.

YOU'LL HAVE NO PROBLEM, DEAR.

I SHALL OPEN
EVERY DOOR FOR YOU.

AH! VICAR!

JUST THE MAN I WANT TO SEE.

HELLO, MRS. BUCKET.

"BOUQUET."

A LITTLE WORD WITH YOU
IN PRIVATE, VICAR.

FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE TOP
TABLE AND THE GUEST SPEAKER,

I'VE BROUGHT ALONG MY OWN
DELICATE, HAND-PAINTED CHINA.

I THOUGHT SHE WAS
GOING TO OPEN EVERY DOOR.

THANK YOU, VICAR.
OH, IT'S VERY QUIET HERE.

THERE DON'T SEEM TO BE
MANY PEOPLE ABOUT.

NO. PLEASE EXCUSE ME.

OH! DO BE CAREFUL,
ELIZABETH!

THAT WAS A GIFT FROM SOMEONE
VERY DEAR TO ME.

RICHARD BOUGHT IT?
- NO, NOT RICHARD!

IT WAS A GIFT FROM SHERIDAN
TO HIS MOMMY.

I PAID THE BILL.

YOU COULDN'T EXPECT A SCHOOLBOY
TO AFFORD THINGS LIKE THIS.

PUT THEM SAFELY
ON THAT TABLE, DEARS.

VICAR, WHAT TIME IS
OUR GUEST SPEAKER ARRIVING?

OH DEAR, I FORGOT
THE SAUSAGE ROLLS.

HYACINTH!

THERE SHOULD BE
SOMEBODY HERE.

THERE'S FOOD
ON THE TABLE.

OF A RATHER UNIMAGINATIVE
VARIETY, IT MUST BE SAID.

I THINK IT NEEDS A SMIDGEN
OF MY HAUTE CUISINE.

RICHARD, BRING MY
ACCOUTREMENTS THROUGH, WILL YOU?

THIS'LL BE THE PRINCIPAL BUFFET TABLE-

WELL, I MUST BE
GETTING ON, MRS. BUCKET.

"BOUQUET."

I'LL CATCH YOU LATER, VICAR,

AND FILL YOU IN IN SHERIDAN'S
PROGRESS AT UNIVERSITY.

OH. GOOD.

HE'S DOING
BRILLIANTLY WELL.

AH.
- HIS TUTORS ALL FORECAST ASTONISHING THINGS FOR HIM.

JUST PUT THEM
DOWN THERE, DEAR.

THEY SHOULD BE QUITE SAFE.

NOW, I'D BETTER TRY
AND BRING A LITTLE STYLE...

AND POLISH TO THIS FOOD.

I SHALL NEED SOME EXTRA PEOPLE
FOR THE UNSKILLED JOBS.

RECEPTIVE PEOPLE WHO ARE
WILLING TO WATCH AND LEARN.

ELIZABETH,
COME HERE, DEAR.

WHILE RICHARD IS
GUARDING MY CHINA,

WILL YOU GO AND ROUND ME UP
A FEW WILLING HELPERS?

WHAT IF THEY WON'T COME,
HYACINTH?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WON'T COME"?
JUST TELL THEM WHO IT'S FOR.

IT HASN'T WORKED.

YOU DON'T
KNOW THAT.

WELL, LOOK AT HIM.
DOES HE LOOK JEALOUS?

MAYBE HE'S
HIDING IT.

DOING A VERY GOOD JOB.

MAYBE HE'S
IN TURMOIL INSIDE.

IF HE IS,

IT'S INDIGESTION.

LET'S FIND OUT.

ONSLOW?

DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO
COPE NOW THAT DAISY'S GOT A TOY BOY?

HE WILL. I THINK
HE'LL BE ABLE TO COPE.

Hyacinth: I TRUST YOU'VE
REMEMBERED YOUR CRUETS, LADIES.

OH, YOU DO
YOUR LETTUCE LIKE THAT?

SORT OF LUMPY
AND CAREFREE?

MY SHERIDAN PREFERS HIS ARRANGED
RATHER MORE SYMMETRICALLY.

BUT THEN HE HAS
SUCH NATURAL GOOD TASTE.

"MY MOMMY,"
HE USED TO BOAST,

"DESIGNS THE PERFECT SALAD."

A WICKED BOY, SHERIDAN.

I USED TO PROTEST,
OF COURSE,

COVERED WITH EMBARRASSMENT.
BUT THAT'S HOW HE WAS.

SO PERCEPTIVE,
EVEN AT THAT AGE.

TO MASTER CLING FILM,
DON'T YOU, DEAR?

HAD GOOD TASTE.

EVEN AS
QUITE A SMALL CHILD.

WHEN OTHER BOYS WOULD
COME HOME FROM SCHOOL

LOOKING AS THOUGH THEY'D
BARELY SURVIVED AN EXPLOSION,

MY SHERIDAN WOULD ALWAYS
HAVE HIS TIE ON STRAIGHT

AND THE CLEANEST PAIR OF KNEES
IN THE CIVILIZED WORLD.

OH, IS THAT ONE OF
MRS. WATSON'S CAKES?

OH YES, I CAN
SEE IT IS NOW.

SHE DOES TRY, BLESS HER.

THAT'S ONE OF SHERIDAN'S
FAVORITE CAKES,

WHEN IT'S MADE PROPERLY.

NOT THAT HE HAS A SWEET TOOTH,
HE'S VERY SELF-DISCIPLINED.

I REMEMBER HIS SCOUTMASTER
USED TO SAY

THAT HE'D NEVER
KNOWN ANYONE

APPLY MORE GRIT
AND DETERMINATION

TO THE ACQUISITION OF HIS
COOKS' BADGE THAN SHERIDAN.

OH, THAT'S NICE, DEAR.

WHATEVER IT IS.

IT'S VERY TOLERANT OF ONSLOW
TO LET ME HAVE A TOY BOY.

TOOTOLERANT OF ONSLOW

TO LET ME HAVE A TOY BOY!

AND YOU SPENT
ALL THAT TIME AND TROUBLE

ON HIS MOSQUITO BITE.

I SUPPOSE I JUST
HAVE TO CONCLUDE

THAT ONSLOW
DOESN'T LOVE ME.

MAYBE UNDERNEATH
HE LOVES YOU.

UNDERNEATH WHAT?
HE'S GOT PRACTICALLY NOTHING ON.

HOW SOON THE MAGIC
SLIPS FROM YOUR MARRIAGE.

THESE DAYS, HE NEVER SAYS
ANYTHING NICE TO ME.

NEVER ANYTHING ROMANTIC?!

NEVER.

I TELL A LIE,

ONCE HE SAID,
"DAISY, YOU DO GREAT CHIPS."

IT'S NOT MUCH AFTER
20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

IS THAT ALL HE SAYS?
- ANY MORE BEER?

THAT'S WHAT
HE SAYS MOSTLY.

SEE, I THINK THE THING IS,
HE JUST DOESN'T NOTICE.

IF HE WERE WITH
SOME OTHER MAN,

AND SAW YOU
WITH YOUR TOY BOY,

THEN THE OTHER MAN
WOULD BE BOUND TO NOTICE,

AND SAY SOMETHING
TO ONSLOW.

THEN ONSLOW WOULD
HAVE TO NOTICE.

WE NEED ANOTHER MAN.

SOMEBODY RELIABLE.
- YEAH...

SOMEBODY WHO ONSLOW
WOULD LISTEN TO.

Both: RICHARD!

DON'T WORRY, DEAR, THEY'RE
NOT COMING TILL 1:00.

AND OF COURSE WHAT IS
QUITE EXCEPTIONAL

IN THIS DAY AND AGE, IS SHERIDAN'S
INSTINCTIVE THOUGHTFULNESS,

HIS ABSOLUTE CARE
AND CONCERN FOR HIS MOTHER.

IT'S SO VERY RARE.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE
GIFTED ACADEMICALLY.

GARLIC?

DO YOU THINK THAT'S QUITE APPROPRIATE
IN AN ANGLICAN CHURCH HALL?

HOW DO YOU MEAN
"RICHARD NEEDS ME"?

GO AND FIND OUT.

WHY'S HE NEED ME?
- HE WOULDN'T SAY, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT!

HE SOUNDED URGENT
ON THE PHONE.

I NEVER HEARD
THE PHONE.

ONCE WE HAD A CHIMNEY STACK BLOW
DOWN, YOU NEVER HEARD THAT EITHER.

BUT HE'S NEVER
NEEDED ME BEFORE.

HE'S YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW.

JUST GO AND FIND OUT
WHAT HE WANTS.

WHERE IS HE?
- HE'S AT "ST. THINGY'S" CHURCH HALL.

WHERE?
- NEAR HYACINTH, BUT WAIT OUTSIDE.

NEEDSYOU.

WHAT HE NEEDS IS
A HOLIDAY FROM HYACINTH.

COME ON!

Daisy: GO ON.
- OH, ALL RIGHT.

OH, YES, THOSE'LL DO, DEAR.

I EXPECT THEY'LL
SEE US THROUGH LUNCH.

OH, VICAR!

I WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT
MY SHERIDAN, DIDN'T I?

YOU'VE NEVER MET HIM,
OF COURSE...

I'M AFRAID NOT, NO.
- BUT YOU'LL HAVE HEARD OF HIM.

OH, MORE THAN ONCE.

MORE THAN ONCE.

THAT'S BETTER.

I MUST BRING HIM OVER THE
NEXT TIME HE'S ON LEAVE

FROM HIS ACADEMIC
STUDIES.

MAY I-
- OH, THANK YOU.

OR BETTER STILL, YOU COULD COME OVER
TO ONE OF MY CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS.

NO, NOT THERE, VICAR.

THERE.

TSK, TSK, TSK.

YOU'LL FIND HIS CONVERSATION VERY STIMULATING.
- I'M SURE.

AMAZING

INTELLECTUAL POWERS.
- THAT'S NICE.

YES, ISN'T IT?

OF COURSE,
I SPOTTED IT EARLY.

HE WAS MOST EXCEPTIONAL,
EVEN AS A CHILD.

YES, HE WOULD BE.
- EXCUSE ME, VICAR.

HYACINTH, HAVE YOU
SEEN YOUR HUSBAND?

OF COURSE. I SEE HIM REGULARLY.
IT'S A GOOD WIFE'S DUTY.

NO, THERE'S SOMEONE
OUTSIDE ASKING FOR HIM.

FOR RICHARD?

OH, IT'LL BE SOMEONE VERY
IMPORTANT FROM THE COUNCIL.

THERE'LL BE A CRISIS. RICHARD
IS INVALUABLE IN A CRISIS.

EXCUSE ME, VICAR.
I'D BETTER GO AND FIND HIM.

LIVES COULD BE AT STAKE.

HELP THE VICAR, WILL YOU, DEAR? RICHARD!

THAT'S BETTER.
RICHARD!

I CAN'T THINK WHO IT MIGHT BE.
- ALL THE MORE REASON TO TAKE TROUBLE.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS
ARE VERY IMPORTANT.

NOW, I SUGGEST
ONE HAND IN YOUR JACKET POCKET.

IT GIVES A SENSE
OF RELAXED ALERTNESS.

TRY THE OTHER ONE, DEAR.

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD SHOW A
HANDKERCHIEF IN YOUR TOP POCKET.

I HAVEN'T GOT ONE.
- OH, REALLY!

WELL, WE CAN'T
DO THAT THEN.

DON'T STAND ABOUT, DEAR.

HYACINTH,
IT MAY BE NOTHING.

TO YOUR NEXT PROMOTION.

WHAT'S ONSLOW
DOING HERE?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
- GET RID OF HIM.

HOW CAN I DO THAT?
- GET RID OF HIM!

OH, VERY WELL.
LEAVE IT TO ME.

BE TACTFUL.
- OF COURSE I'LL BE TACTFUL.

ONSLOW, GO AWAY-

BEFORE ANYONE SEES YOU.

THERE'S ONLY YOU...
AND THE VICAR...

AND A FEW ASSORTED
FEMALES.

YOU'VE NOT BEEN TALKING
TO THE VICAR, HAVE YOU?

BEEN TALKING TO THE VICAR!

RELAX, I JUST CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF
HIM THROUGH THE WINDOW, DIDN'T I?

THAT'S ALL RIGHT THEN. ANYWAY,
WHATEVER IT IS, IT'LL HAVE TO WAIT.

I WANT A WORD WITH RICHARD.
- THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE AT THE MOMENT.

SOMEONE VERY IMPORTANT
IS LOOKING FOR RICHARD,

HE'S BEEN ASKED FOR
AT THE DOOR.

THATWAS ME.

YOU?!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YOU"?

ALL THIS ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW,
DON'T LOOK AT ME.

YOU'LL HAVE
TO EXCUSE ME, ONSLOW.

I'M NEEDED INSIDE.

NOW GET HIM OUT OF SIGHT
AND DON'T BE LONG!

SHE DOES A GREAT LINE
AND WAFFLE, YOUR HYACINTH.

RICHARD, A WORD
WITH YOU, PLEASE.

I'LL SEE YOU
AROUND THE BACK.

WHY DOES ONSLOW
NEVER WEAR A SUIT?

HE HAS A SUIT.

HE GOT MARRIED
IN A SUIT.

HE STILL LOOKED TERRIBLE, BUT AT
LEAST HE LOOKED TERRIBLE IN A SUIT.

NOW THERE, COME ON.

WHY ARE THERE ALWAYS PARTS OF HIM
BULGING OUT OF SKIMPY GARMENTS?

COME ALONG, DEAR.
- HE DRESSES CASUALLY.

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
CASUAL AND DOWNRIGHT RECKLESS.

I CAN'T IMAGINE
WHY DAISY MARRIED HIM.

YOU PLAY TOGETHER
AS CHILDREN,

YOU HAVE ALL THE STRANGE
CHILDISH FEARS ABOUT MONSTERS-

LITTLE DO YOU DREAM THAT YOUR
SISTER'S GOING TO GROW UP TO MARRY ONE.

THERE'S NO ACCOUNTING
FOR WHO FALLS FOR WHOM.

THERE SHOULD BE, AND
DON'T GET IN A PET, DEAR.

IT'S VERY UNTIDY,

SUITS INTER-BREEDING
WITH T-SHIRTS.

NO GOOD WILL
COME OF IT.

WHERE IS ONSLOW NOW?

I SENT HIM
ROUND THE BACK.

GOOD. KEEP GOING, DEAR.
THERE'S LOTS MORE TO DO.

OH NO!

THEY HAVEN'T PUT MY CHINA
IN WITH ALL THE REST.

ELIZABETH, DEAR,
GIVE ME A HAND, WILL YOU,

WITH ALL THIS CHINA
UP TO THE TOP TABLE?

I WON'T HAVE THE WRONG PEOPLE DRINKING
OUT OF MY HAND-PAINTED PERIWINKLES.

OH DEAR.

I THINK THE GUEST SPEAKER
WILL BE AT THE TOP TABLE,

BUT I'D BETTER CHECK WITH
THE VICAR, WHERE IS HE?

HE'S OUTSIDE AT THE BACK.

WHAT?
- HE'S JUST STARTED THE OUTDOOR PRAYERS.

RICHARD, DON'T JUST
SIT THERE, DEAR, COME ON.

GET RID OF ONSLOW,

AND HURRY, BEFORE THE VICAR
CATCHES UP WITH HIM.

I'LL BE OUT LATER.

PUT THOSE DOWN, DEAR!

I THOUGHT YOU SAID-
- THEY'VE STARTED.

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

IT'S NOTHING,
NOTHING, NOTHING...

JUST THE CHALICE
BROKEN ON THE WHEEL,

THE PITCHER SHATTERED
AT THE FOUNTAIN.

PARDON?

?40 EACH AND IRREPLACEABLE!

* WHO SO BESET HIM ROUND *

* WITH DISMAL STORIES *

* DO BUT THEMSELVES CONFOUND *

* HIS STRENGTH
THE MORE IS *

* NO FOES SHALL
STAY HIS MIGHT *

* THOUGH HE
WITH GIANTS FIGHT... *

THIS IS A NICE PLACE
TO DRAG A BLOKE.

WHY'D YOU WANT
TO SEE ME?

AND WHY HERE?
- ME?!

DID I WANT TO SEE YOU?
- * SINCE, LORD, THOU DOEST- *

I GOT A MESSAGE. * -US WITH
THY SPIRIT * - NOT FROM ME!

* WE KNOW WE AT THE END *

* SHALL LIFE INHERIT *

* THEN FANCIES FLEE AWAY *

* I'LL FEAR NOT
WHAT MEN SAY *

* I'LL LABOR
NIGHT AND DAY *

* TO BE A PILGRIM *

* HE WHO WOULD VALIANT BE *

* 'GAINST ALL DISASTER *

* LET HIM IN CONSTANCY *

* FOLLOW THE MASTER *

* THERE'S NO DISCOURAGEMENT... *

WHO ON EARTH'S THAT?

I'VE NO IDEA. I'VE NEVER
SEEN HER BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

SORRY.

GREAT IDEA OF YOURS, DICKY,
TO DRAG ME IN HERE.

CHEERS.
- CHEERS.

ONSLOW,

I DON'T WANT
TO BE PERSONAL, BUT-

AT THE CHURCH HALL
JUST NOW...

WASN'T THAT DAISY?

DAISY?
- YOUR WIFE?

OH, THAT DAISY.

DIDN'T YOU THINK
IT WAS... FUNNY?

I SUPPOSE I DID, REALLY.

I NEVER KNEW
SHE LIKED MOTORBIKES.