Keeping Up Appearances (1990–1995): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Charity Shop - full transcript
Hyacinth's ambition for Richard includes grooming him in such crucial matters as wearing a bow-tie, while she networks by volunteering herself and Elisabeth to work a day in nastily haughty Councillor Nugent's charity shop, but when Daisy calls daddy has a woman, Hyacinth goes to great lengths -literally, actually most conspicuously- to avoid even Liz knowing how poor that family branch lives. Alas the woman claims she was the one taken advantage of, and her son is unwilling to come and get her even when tracked down, until exposed to man-eater Rose ...
IS THAT FOR ME?
IT SAYS BUCKET ON THE ENVELOPE.
IT'S "BOUQUET." B-U-C-K-E-T. "BOU-QUET."
THE ACCENT ON THE SECOND SYLLABLE.
WELL, IT'S FOR THIS ADDRESS, ANYWAY.
WHAT'S WRONG NOW? - I NEVER LIKE TO HANDLE THESE THINGS TOO FREELY
UNTIL I HAVE SOME IDEA WHO IT'S FROM.
BUT DOES IT MATTER? - IT MATTERS ENORMOUSLY.
SOME TOTAL STRANGER MAY HAVE LICKED THIS ENVELOPE, NOT TO MENTION THE STAMP.
THERE MAY BE SOME PREPARED TO GAMBLE WITH THEIR HEALTH,
BUT I THINK A CERTAIN RESERVE IS CALLED FOR
AGAINST THE TONGUES OF STRANGERS.
IS THIS ALL?
ARE YOU SURE THERE ISN'T A LETTER FROM MY SON?
NOTHING ELSE. - BUT HE'S ALWAYS WRITING TO HIS MOTHER,
AS WELL AS RINGING ME REGULARLY.
SHERIDAN IS EXTREMELY THOUGHTFUL.
MAYBE HE'S TRYING TELEPATHY.
IF THAT'S AN EXAMPLE OF POST OFFICE HUMOR,
THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO KEEP PUTTING THEIR CHARGES UP!
OH, JUST OFF, DEAR?
YOU KNOW, I WONDER SOMETIMES ABOUT A BOW-TIE.
WOULDN'T SUIT YOU.
FOR YOU, DEAR.
I NEVER WEAR BOW-TIES.
WELL, YOU SHOULD. YOU'RE STILL ONLY THE DEPUTY IN YOUR DEPARTMENT.
PERHAPS IF YOU WORE A BOW-TIE, YOU'D BE THE CHIEF.
I DON'T THINK THE PROMOTIONS SYSTEM IS BASED ON BOW-TIES.
YOU'RE TOO NAIVE, RICHARD. THESE THINGS MATTER.
YOU'D STAND OUT MORE IN A BOW-TIE.
ESPECIALLY ONE THAT SPINS AROUND AND LIGHTS UP.
NOW DON'T BE SILLY.
YOU SHOULD DO IT FOR ME AND FOR SHERIDAN.
SHERIDAN DESERVES A FATHER FULL OF EXECUTIVE STRESS-WEARING A BOW-TIE.
AND WHERE'S YOUR BRIEFCASE?
I HAVE NOTHING TO CARRY.
THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK AS IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO CARRY.
HYACINTH... - THEY ALWAYS PROMOTE PEOPLE
WHO LOOK AS IF THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO CARRY.
RICHARD.
WHAT NOW?
HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, DEAR?
SEE YOU THIS EVENING.
MORNING, LIZ.
OH, GOOD MORNING, RICHARD!
GOOD MORNING, ELIZABETH.
MORNING, HYACINTH.
CAN YOU SEE HIM IN A BOW-TIE?
WELL, NOT FROM BEHIND.
HE'S THINKING OF WEARING ONE.
HE WANTS TO LOOK MORE AGGRESSIVELY MANAGERIAL.
IT WON'T SUIT HIM, DO YOU THINK?
DON'T ASK ME. I HATE MAKING DECISIONS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO, DO YOU? YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR TO ME.
BE READY AT 9:30. - FOR WHAT?
FOR THE CHARITY SHOP.
IT'S OUR DAY FOR THE CHARITY SHOP.
OH MY GOODNESS. I'D FORGOTTEN THE CHARITY SHOP.
BEST FOOT FORWARD. IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT DAY.
WE SHALL BE SERVING WITH MRS. NUGENT.
COUNCILORNUGENT.
ONSLOW.
ONSLOW.
THERE'S A WOMAN IN DAD'S BEDROOM.
DON'T TELL ME.
HE'S AWAKE. HE BROUGHT HER IN.
SHE WASN'T THERE LAST NIGHT.
HE MUST HAVE SNEAKED OUT AGAIN WHILE WE WERE IN BED.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?
I'M JUST CONSULTING YOU.
I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT HUSBANDS ARE FOR.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY ONE OF THESE DAYS
WHEN YOU'VE OVERLOADING ME WITH RESPONSIBILITY.
SHE SAYS SHE'S HIS FIANCE!E.
OH, WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT THEN.
CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT.
OUR HYACINTH IS GOING TO GO MAD.
YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT THE CAR AROUND YET.
OH, THE TELEPHONE.
IT'S PROBABLY SHERIDAN.
HE'S ALWAYS SO THOUGHTFUL,
SO CONSIDERATE OF HIS MOTHER.
COMING, SHERIDAN.
I'LL BRING THE CAR.
SHERIDAN!
OH, IT'S YOU, DAISY.
I WAS EXPECTING SHERIDAN. HE RINGS ME INCESSANTLY.
DADDY?
DADDY'S MOVED WHAT INTO HIS ROOM?
JUST STAY THERE, I'M COMING.
THAT WAS MY SISTER DAISY.
DADDY'S DEVELOPED A LITTLE PROBLEM.
I'M SORRY.
I PROMISED HER I'D CALL ON OUR WAY.
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
IS IT SOMETHING HE PICKED UP?
I'M AFRAID IT SOUNDS VERY MUCH LIKE IT.
I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN YOUR SISTER DAISY'S HOUSE, HAVE I, HYACINTH?
NO!
NO, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE.
IS IT A NICE HOUSE?
WELL, I'D REALLY RATHER
WE WERE GOING TO MY SISTER VIOLET'S.
YOU REMEMBER VIOLET? SHE MARRIED THAT TURF ACCOUNTANT.
HE BUILT THAT BIG HOUSE WITH A SAUNA AND ROOM FOR A PONY.
YOU'VE HEARD ME SPEAK OF VIOLET?
FREQUENTLY.
YOU'D LIKE VIOLET'S. - MAYBE I'LL LIKE DAISY'S.
WELL, POSSIBLY YOU MAY, Y-Y-YOU WELL MAY.
WHAT KIND OF A HOUSE IS DAISY'S?
ACTUALLY-
IT'S QUITE LIKE ONE OF THESE.
YES. IN FACT, IT'S VERY LIKE ONE OF THESE.
COME TO THINK OF IT, IT IS ONE OF THESE.
YES, HERE IT IS.
NOW, YOU STAY THERE.
AND DON'T MOVE. - OH, ALL RIGHT.
I WON'T INVITE YOU IN, IN CASE DADDY'S CONTRACTED SOMETHING UNSIGHTLY.
GIVE MY REGARDS TO DAISY.
HMM? OH, I WILL!
YES, THANK YOU.
I WILL.
EXCUSE ME.
I DIDN'T HEAR A CAR. HOW DID YOU GET HERE?
MY NEIGHBOR ELIZABETH GAVE ME A LIFT.
WELL, LET'S BRING HER IN! - NO, NO!
SHE SENDS HER REGARDS.
I DIDN'T SEE A CAR.
SHE'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER... WAITING.
MORNING, HYACINTH. COME FOR THE WEDDING?
WHY IS IT ONE ALWAYS SEES SO MUCH OF ONSLOW?
DOES HE NEVER COVER HIMSELF ENTIRELY?
HE LIKES TO KEEP HIS ARMS FREE.
WHY? HE NEVER DOES MUCH WITH THEM.
I WONDER WHERE THEY'RE GOING FOR THEIR HONEYMOON.
IT'S NOT FUNNY, ONSLOW. - IT'S NOT BAD FOR STARTERS.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SIT THERE WATCHING TELEVISION
WHEN DADDY IS THE VICTIM OF A CUNNING PLOT.
WHO IS THIS UNSCRUPULOUS FEMALE?
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE FOUND HER.
POOR DADDY.
WHEN HE SHOULD BE ENJOYING HIS DECLINING YEARS.
I THINK HE IS ENJOYING HIS DECLINING YEARS.
IN HIS BEDROOM.
YOU HAVEN'T LET HER INTO DADDY'S BEDROOM?
SHE'S JUST SITTING THERE IN A CHAIR.
HE'S FAST ASLEEP. - IT'S GOOD, THIS.
WE MUST GET RID OF HER. - SHE WON'T GO.
HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO HER FIRMLY?
I TRIED THAT.
I EVEN USED THE ULTIMATE THREAT. I SENT ONSLOW.
"WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME?" I SAID.
"BUG OFF," SHE SAID.
WE'VE GOT TO GET HER OUT OF DADDY'S BEDROOM
BEFORE IT RADICALLY AFFECTS HIS PENSIONABLE STATUS.
SHH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
NOTHING.
SHE'S JUST SITTING THERE WITHOUT MOVING.
FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT IT WAS ONSLOW.
IT'S REMARKS LIKE THAT THAT OUGHTA COOL
THE FIRST FURIOUS FIRES OF OUR MARRIAGE.
DON'T START ARGUING. WHAT'S DADDY DOING?
HE'S STILL ASLEEP.
THERE'S THE ANSWER.
SHE FORCED HERSELF ON HIM WHILE HE WAS STILL ASLEEP.
POOR DADDY.
I AM HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER.
I HAVE BEEN CONSULTED IN THIS MATTER,
AND IT HAS BEEN DECIDED THAT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.
HE OFFERED ME MARRIAGE.
DADDY HAS NOT BEEN WELL. - I'VE GOT WITNESSES.
DADDY IS SOMETIMES NOT ALTOGETHER LOGICAL.
HE OFFERED ME MARRIAGE.
LOOK, YOU CANNOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AN AILING OLD MAN.
HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME.
HOW?! - WHEN?!
NEVER MIND.
I GOT WITNESSES.
I THINK YOU MUST HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD HIM.
OH, I UNDERSTOOD HIM.
HE OFFERED ME MARRIAGE.
HAVEN'T YOU GOT A HOME TO GO TO?
CERTAINLY.
IT'S HERE.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER TEAPOT.
YOU'LL NEED NOTHING OF THE KIND.
THIS LADY IS GOING.
I CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM.
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF BASIS IS THAT FOR A MARRIAGE?
HE'LL PROBABLY HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT YOU WHEN HE WAKES UP.
HE'LL WANT TO PLAY WITH HIS TRAINS.
TRAINS!
OH, I LIKE TRAINS!
I CAN PLAY WITH TRAINS!
WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY? WON'T THEY BE MISSING YOU?
I'VE ONLY GOT A SON. - AH, A SON.
I HAVE A SON, TOO.
YOU CAN'T DESERT HIM. THEY NEED US.
HE'S 45 YEARS OLD.
A VERY TRICKY AGE.
I HAVE TO GO. ELIZABETH IS WAITING.
AND MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT.
IT'S MY DAY FOR THE CHARITY SHOP.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THE WOMAN?
SHE COULD MAKE IT FOUR FOR BRAGG.
I'VE GOT THE SON'S ADDRESS.
I SHALL CALL AND MAKE SURE HE FETCHES HER HOME.
NOW, I MUST GO.
SHE'S A REAL ORGANIZER, OUR HYACINTH.
SHE'S A REAL- - ONSLOW.
I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING.
WAS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
HMM? - HOW WAS YOUR FATHER?
REMARKABLY RELAXED.
JUST TURN LEFT HERE.
I HAVE A CALL TO MAKE. - HERE?!
THIS IS THE ADDRESS.
MY CHARITABLE DUTIES BRING ME HERE.
SOMEONE YOU KNOW? - NO, NO, NO.
A TOTAL STRANGER.
MR. DUXBURY?
DUXBURY? NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
HAVE YOU HEARD OF A DUXBURY? - NOT AROUND HERE.
HE'S NEVER HEARD OF HIM EITHER.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE ASKING US ANYWAY,
WE JUST HAPPEN TO BE HERE DELIVERING
THESE BOXES OF WASTE-PAPER FOR RECYCLING.
BUT I GOT THIS ADDRESS FROM HIS MOTHER.
MOTHER? SHE'S GONE OFF TO BE MARRIED.
NO, SHE HASN'T! - SHE RANG ME THIS MORN-
SO YOU ARE THE SON. - YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
YOU FORGET THINGS.
WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?
YOU CAN GO AND GET HER BACK, THAT'S WHAT YOU CAN DO.
BACK? BACK? I'VE ONLY JUST GOT RID OF HER.
YOU'LL FIND HER AT THIS ADDRESS.
I EXPECT HER TO BE GONE WITHIN THE HOUR.
YOU CAN'T COME BETWEEN TWO LOVERS.
SHE'S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF A SENILE GENTLEMAN.
IT'S JUST WHAT SHE NEEDS. THEY'D BE GREAT TOGETHER.
WITHIN THE HOUR.
MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT, SO SORRY WE'RE LATE.
JUST A LITTLE FAMILY HICCUP.
THIS IS MY NEIGHBOR, MRS. ELIZABETH WARDEN.
YOU'LL REMEMBER ELIZABETH.
SHE'S ALMOST ALWAYS AT MY CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS.
I HAVE NO TIME FOR SOCIALIZING.
NO, NO, NO. THAT'S QUITE TRUE.
MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT IS FAMOUS FOR HER DEDICATION TO SOCIAL SERVICE.
THAT'S NICE.
I HAVE TO TRY AND BRING A LITTLE HAPPINESS TO PEOPLE'S LIVES.
NOT TOO MUCH MIND YOU, OR ELSE THEY START TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED,
NEVER KNOW WHEN TO STOP.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY'RE BEHAVING IN A DISGUSTING MANNER,
ENJOYING EXCESSIVE ROMANTIC BEHAVIOR.
MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT IS A FORCE IN THE COMMUNITY
DEDICATED TO THE SUPPRESSION OF EXCESSIVE ROMANTIC BEHAVIOR.
REALLY? - I WON'T HAVE IT.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN BEING ALL DOLLED UP FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX.
SEX, YES! I DO SO AGREE.
I'VE ALWAYS WARNED MY SHERIDAN AGAINST FEMALES
WHO FLAUNT THEMSELVES AT THE OPPOSITE SEX.
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'LL JUST GO AND CHECK OUR WINDOW DISPLAY.
HYACINTH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - JUST KEEP WALKING, ROSE.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T BEND DOWN.
I FORBID YOU EVER TO BEND DOWN IN THIS VICINITY.
I BROUGHT SOME CLOTHING FOR THE SHOP.
THAT'S SO KIND OF YOU.
IT'S MUCH APPRECIATED. - LET ME TAKE IT.
BUT WHY CAN'T I TAKE IT IN FOR YOU?
ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT IN. I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING.
I FIND LIFE VERY BLEAK IN THE ABSENCE
OF A VERY SPECIAL MR. BLANKENSOP.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A MR. HEPPLEWHITE?
DON'T YOU MENTION THAT CREEP TO ME.
HE WAS SHALLOW.
YOU WERE GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE OVER HIM.
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I FOUND OUT HE WAS SHALLOW.
AND THAT WAS BEFORE I MET THE REAL THING.
I REMEMBER YOU THREATENED TO COMMIT SUICIDE
OVER A MR. HEPPLEWHITE.
YOU WANTED MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS TO BE BURIED IN.
IT WOULDN'T HAVE FITTED ME ANYWAY.
I WOULD HAVE LOOKED DREADFUL.
AND NOW IT'S A MR. BLANKENSOP.
YES.
I WARN YOU - YOU'RE STILL NOT HAVING MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS.
WHO ASKED YOU FOR IT?
OH, DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING STUPID.
I'M FINISHED WITH MEN.
I WISH YOU MEANT IT.
I DO MEAN IT.
THEY'RE NOTHING BUT HEARTACHE AND TROUBLE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I CAN NEVER GET RICHARD TO FOLD HIS PAJAMAS.
THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT.
I'M DETERMINED-
I'M GOING TO SPEND MY LIFE ALONE.
I THINK THAT'S VERY WISE,
BUT YOU'LL NEED A LONGER SKIRT.
NOT MEN.
I'VE GIVEN UP WORRYING ABOUT MEN.
THAT'S WHAT'S IN THE BAG.
ALL MY BEST CLOTHES.
THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.
NO, LET ME TAKE IT IN FOR YOU.
I'M SURE THERE'S SOME POOR SOUL WHO'LL APPRECIATE IT.
NOW, RUN ALONG HOME
AND TELL THEM I'LL FIND SOME WAY OF SAVING DADDY
FROM A FATE WORSE THAN SENILITY.
ROSE.
COME HERE.
THERE'S TOO MUCH INTEREST IN THE OPPOSITE SEX.
THERE'S TOO MUCH OF IT THAT GOES ON.
I MUST SAY, I'VE NEVER FELT OVERWHELMED BY IT.
JUST A LITTLE CHARITABLE GIFT FROM A WELL-WISHER.
OUR FOREFATHERS MANAGED. THEY PRACTICALLY WENT THROUGH THEIR ENTIRE LIVES
WITHOUT ANY INTEREST IN THE OPPOSITE SEX.
THEY MAY NOT HAVE BROADCAST IT.
THEY LIVED PLAINLY. THAT'S THE SECRET OF LIFE - LIVING PLAINLY.
NO FRILLS OR FRIPPERY.
FINANCE AND GENERAL PURPOSES.
OH, HYACINTH.
YOU SOUND UPSET.
I HAVE TO SAVE YOUR FATHER FROM WHAT?
MARRIAGE?!
AT HIS AGE? IN HIS CONDITION?
WON'T IT INTERFERE WITH THE MEDICATION?
I CAN'T DROP EVERYTHING AND GO.
ALL RIGHT!
CANDROP EVERYTHING AND GO.
I'LL USE MY LUNCHTIME.
HE CAN'T BE MARRIED BEFORE LUNCHTIME.
SHE WANTS TO STAY.
WE HAVEN'T GOT A BIG ENOUGH TEAPOT.
I THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER.
TAKE HER HOME. - I CAN'T TAKE HER BACK NOW.
SHE'S JUST FOUND HAPPINESS.
IT BREAKS YOUR HEART, DOESN'T IT?
WE DON'T WANT HER.
THEY'RE IN LOVE.
HE'S STILL ASLEEP.
I'VE GOT WITNESSES.
I CAN'T COME BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS FIANCE!E.
WELL, IT IS.
AND SHE WANTS TO STAY.
THEY CAN WRITE. - SHE'S GOT WITNESSES.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DRAGGED ME INTO THIS.
LET HER BE HAPPY SOMEWHERE ELSE.
I DEMAND YOU BE FIRM.
LET'S FACE IT, YOU'RE FIRMER THAN ME.
I"?
Onslow: HE'S AN OLD MAN. - WHAT'S GOING ON?
DAD'S BEEN ACCUSED OF BEING ENGAGED.
SHE'S GOT WITNESSES. - THIS IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
WE SHALL TAKE LEGAL ADVICE.
WHAT'S IT GOT TO DO WITH YOU? - SHE'S MY SISTER-IN-LAW.
HARD LUCK. MOTHER KNOWS HER RIGHTS.
IS THIS YOUR MOTHER? - YEAH.
BROKENHEARTED. - I CAN SEE THE RESEMBLANCE.
YOU'VE BOTH GOT THE SAME POWERFUL PROFILE.
LET'S NOT STAND OUT HERE
FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE NEIGHBORS.
LET'S GO INSIDE.
TO THINK THAT I SHOULD FALL TO THIS
FROM THE PEAK OF MY CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS.
I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE.
THEN LET ME MAKE YOU A CUP OF TEA.
NOT IN THAT KITCHEN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IT'S MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT.
I HOPE SHE DIDN'T SEE ME.
BETTER LET ME ANSWER THE DOOR.
NO. WE CAN'T LET WORD GET THROUGH TO THE COUNCIL CHAMBER
THAT YOU'VE EVEN BEEN SEEN AT THIS AREA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?
I AM A FOREIGNER IN YOUR COUNTRY.
I WANT TO RETURN THIS LOAD OF SHAMELESS SEE-THROUGH,
EX-CERTIFICATE UP-TO-NO-GOOD UNDERWEAR
THAT WAS LEFT IN ERROR AT THE CHARITY SHOP!
IS THE RIGHT ADDRESS,
IN THE BAG.
GET ROSE. FETCH ROSE. THEY'RE HER UNDIES.
WHY NOT PLEASE TO PUSH THEM THROUGH THE LETTER BOX?
THE KEYHOLE!
IT'S MRS. NUGENT. SHE'S BROUGHT YOUR - UNDERTHINGS BACK.
OH, GOODIE.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D NEED THEM IN THE ABSENCE OF MR. BLANKENSOP.
LOOK, I'VE GOT TO BE GOING NOW.
YOU GET RID OF MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT.
WAIT HERE.
AND IF SHE ASKS AFTER ME, I AM NOT HERE,
I HAVE NEVER BEEN HERE, AND BESIDES WHICH,
I'M OF FOREIGN EXTRACTION.
RICHARD!
IS IT ALWAYS A MADHOUSE AROUND HERE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I BELIEVE YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR ME.
THESE ARE NOT THE KIND OF GARMENTS WE FEEL
COMFORTABLE WITH AT THE CHARITY SHOP.
AND THAT'S YOURS TOO!
SHE'S RIGHT.
CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.
AND THIS PRACTICALLY WILL BE YOUR HOME
IF YOUR MOTHER STAYS WITH MY FATHER.
MOTHER, ARE YOU COMING?
MOTHER.
I COMMAND YOU, MOTHER. WE'RE LEAVING, NOW!
Daisy: I WONDER IF DAD WILL MISS HER.
Onslow: HE'LL HAVE FORGOTTEN SHE'S EVER BEEN HERE.
I HOPE SO.
I'D HATE DAD TO THINK WE'D BROKE ANYTHING UP.
YOU'RE A SOFTIE.
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO EMBRACE IN THE STREET?
IT'S THEIR STREET.
AT LEAST MAKE HIM PUT HIS SHIRT ON.
WE MUST BE GOING.
ALL MY UNDIES BACK FOR NO PURPOSE.
I WONDER OF I OUGHT TO RING MR. BLANKENSOP.
I REALLY MUST GET BACK TO THE OFFICE.
AND I TO THE CHARITY SHOP-
WHERE SHIRTS ARE AVAILABLE AT GIVE-AWAY PRICES.
OH, YOU CAN GIVE US A LIFT THEN.
IT SAYS BUCKET ON THE ENVELOPE.
IT'S "BOUQUET." B-U-C-K-E-T. "BOU-QUET."
THE ACCENT ON THE SECOND SYLLABLE.
WELL, IT'S FOR THIS ADDRESS, ANYWAY.
WHAT'S WRONG NOW? - I NEVER LIKE TO HANDLE THESE THINGS TOO FREELY
UNTIL I HAVE SOME IDEA WHO IT'S FROM.
BUT DOES IT MATTER? - IT MATTERS ENORMOUSLY.
SOME TOTAL STRANGER MAY HAVE LICKED THIS ENVELOPE, NOT TO MENTION THE STAMP.
THERE MAY BE SOME PREPARED TO GAMBLE WITH THEIR HEALTH,
BUT I THINK A CERTAIN RESERVE IS CALLED FOR
AGAINST THE TONGUES OF STRANGERS.
IS THIS ALL?
ARE YOU SURE THERE ISN'T A LETTER FROM MY SON?
NOTHING ELSE. - BUT HE'S ALWAYS WRITING TO HIS MOTHER,
AS WELL AS RINGING ME REGULARLY.
SHERIDAN IS EXTREMELY THOUGHTFUL.
MAYBE HE'S TRYING TELEPATHY.
IF THAT'S AN EXAMPLE OF POST OFFICE HUMOR,
THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO KEEP PUTTING THEIR CHARGES UP!
OH, JUST OFF, DEAR?
YOU KNOW, I WONDER SOMETIMES ABOUT A BOW-TIE.
WOULDN'T SUIT YOU.
FOR YOU, DEAR.
I NEVER WEAR BOW-TIES.
WELL, YOU SHOULD. YOU'RE STILL ONLY THE DEPUTY IN YOUR DEPARTMENT.
PERHAPS IF YOU WORE A BOW-TIE, YOU'D BE THE CHIEF.
I DON'T THINK THE PROMOTIONS SYSTEM IS BASED ON BOW-TIES.
YOU'RE TOO NAIVE, RICHARD. THESE THINGS MATTER.
YOU'D STAND OUT MORE IN A BOW-TIE.
ESPECIALLY ONE THAT SPINS AROUND AND LIGHTS UP.
NOW DON'T BE SILLY.
YOU SHOULD DO IT FOR ME AND FOR SHERIDAN.
SHERIDAN DESERVES A FATHER FULL OF EXECUTIVE STRESS-WEARING A BOW-TIE.
AND WHERE'S YOUR BRIEFCASE?
I HAVE NOTHING TO CARRY.
THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK AS IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO CARRY.
HYACINTH... - THEY ALWAYS PROMOTE PEOPLE
WHO LOOK AS IF THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO CARRY.
RICHARD.
WHAT NOW?
HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, DEAR?
SEE YOU THIS EVENING.
MORNING, LIZ.
OH, GOOD MORNING, RICHARD!
GOOD MORNING, ELIZABETH.
MORNING, HYACINTH.
CAN YOU SEE HIM IN A BOW-TIE?
WELL, NOT FROM BEHIND.
HE'S THINKING OF WEARING ONE.
HE WANTS TO LOOK MORE AGGRESSIVELY MANAGERIAL.
IT WON'T SUIT HIM, DO YOU THINK?
DON'T ASK ME. I HATE MAKING DECISIONS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO, DO YOU? YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR TO ME.
BE READY AT 9:30. - FOR WHAT?
FOR THE CHARITY SHOP.
IT'S OUR DAY FOR THE CHARITY SHOP.
OH MY GOODNESS. I'D FORGOTTEN THE CHARITY SHOP.
BEST FOOT FORWARD. IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT DAY.
WE SHALL BE SERVING WITH MRS. NUGENT.
COUNCILORNUGENT.
ONSLOW.
ONSLOW.
THERE'S A WOMAN IN DAD'S BEDROOM.
DON'T TELL ME.
HE'S AWAKE. HE BROUGHT HER IN.
SHE WASN'T THERE LAST NIGHT.
HE MUST HAVE SNEAKED OUT AGAIN WHILE WE WERE IN BED.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?
I'M JUST CONSULTING YOU.
I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT HUSBANDS ARE FOR.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY ONE OF THESE DAYS
WHEN YOU'VE OVERLOADING ME WITH RESPONSIBILITY.
SHE SAYS SHE'S HIS FIANCE!E.
OH, WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT THEN.
CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT.
OUR HYACINTH IS GOING TO GO MAD.
YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT THE CAR AROUND YET.
OH, THE TELEPHONE.
IT'S PROBABLY SHERIDAN.
HE'S ALWAYS SO THOUGHTFUL,
SO CONSIDERATE OF HIS MOTHER.
COMING, SHERIDAN.
I'LL BRING THE CAR.
SHERIDAN!
OH, IT'S YOU, DAISY.
I WAS EXPECTING SHERIDAN. HE RINGS ME INCESSANTLY.
DADDY?
DADDY'S MOVED WHAT INTO HIS ROOM?
JUST STAY THERE, I'M COMING.
THAT WAS MY SISTER DAISY.
DADDY'S DEVELOPED A LITTLE PROBLEM.
I'M SORRY.
I PROMISED HER I'D CALL ON OUR WAY.
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
IS IT SOMETHING HE PICKED UP?
I'M AFRAID IT SOUNDS VERY MUCH LIKE IT.
I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN YOUR SISTER DAISY'S HOUSE, HAVE I, HYACINTH?
NO!
NO, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE.
IS IT A NICE HOUSE?
WELL, I'D REALLY RATHER
WE WERE GOING TO MY SISTER VIOLET'S.
YOU REMEMBER VIOLET? SHE MARRIED THAT TURF ACCOUNTANT.
HE BUILT THAT BIG HOUSE WITH A SAUNA AND ROOM FOR A PONY.
YOU'VE HEARD ME SPEAK OF VIOLET?
FREQUENTLY.
YOU'D LIKE VIOLET'S. - MAYBE I'LL LIKE DAISY'S.
WELL, POSSIBLY YOU MAY, Y-Y-YOU WELL MAY.
WHAT KIND OF A HOUSE IS DAISY'S?
ACTUALLY-
IT'S QUITE LIKE ONE OF THESE.
YES. IN FACT, IT'S VERY LIKE ONE OF THESE.
COME TO THINK OF IT, IT IS ONE OF THESE.
YES, HERE IT IS.
NOW, YOU STAY THERE.
AND DON'T MOVE. - OH, ALL RIGHT.
I WON'T INVITE YOU IN, IN CASE DADDY'S CONTRACTED SOMETHING UNSIGHTLY.
GIVE MY REGARDS TO DAISY.
HMM? OH, I WILL!
YES, THANK YOU.
I WILL.
EXCUSE ME.
I DIDN'T HEAR A CAR. HOW DID YOU GET HERE?
MY NEIGHBOR ELIZABETH GAVE ME A LIFT.
WELL, LET'S BRING HER IN! - NO, NO!
SHE SENDS HER REGARDS.
I DIDN'T SEE A CAR.
SHE'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER... WAITING.
MORNING, HYACINTH. COME FOR THE WEDDING?
WHY IS IT ONE ALWAYS SEES SO MUCH OF ONSLOW?
DOES HE NEVER COVER HIMSELF ENTIRELY?
HE LIKES TO KEEP HIS ARMS FREE.
WHY? HE NEVER DOES MUCH WITH THEM.
I WONDER WHERE THEY'RE GOING FOR THEIR HONEYMOON.
IT'S NOT FUNNY, ONSLOW. - IT'S NOT BAD FOR STARTERS.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SIT THERE WATCHING TELEVISION
WHEN DADDY IS THE VICTIM OF A CUNNING PLOT.
WHO IS THIS UNSCRUPULOUS FEMALE?
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE FOUND HER.
POOR DADDY.
WHEN HE SHOULD BE ENJOYING HIS DECLINING YEARS.
I THINK HE IS ENJOYING HIS DECLINING YEARS.
IN HIS BEDROOM.
YOU HAVEN'T LET HER INTO DADDY'S BEDROOM?
SHE'S JUST SITTING THERE IN A CHAIR.
HE'S FAST ASLEEP. - IT'S GOOD, THIS.
WE MUST GET RID OF HER. - SHE WON'T GO.
HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO HER FIRMLY?
I TRIED THAT.
I EVEN USED THE ULTIMATE THREAT. I SENT ONSLOW.
"WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME?" I SAID.
"BUG OFF," SHE SAID.
WE'VE GOT TO GET HER OUT OF DADDY'S BEDROOM
BEFORE IT RADICALLY AFFECTS HIS PENSIONABLE STATUS.
SHH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
NOTHING.
SHE'S JUST SITTING THERE WITHOUT MOVING.
FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT IT WAS ONSLOW.
IT'S REMARKS LIKE THAT THAT OUGHTA COOL
THE FIRST FURIOUS FIRES OF OUR MARRIAGE.
DON'T START ARGUING. WHAT'S DADDY DOING?
HE'S STILL ASLEEP.
THERE'S THE ANSWER.
SHE FORCED HERSELF ON HIM WHILE HE WAS STILL ASLEEP.
POOR DADDY.
I AM HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER.
I HAVE BEEN CONSULTED IN THIS MATTER,
AND IT HAS BEEN DECIDED THAT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.
HE OFFERED ME MARRIAGE.
DADDY HAS NOT BEEN WELL. - I'VE GOT WITNESSES.
DADDY IS SOMETIMES NOT ALTOGETHER LOGICAL.
HE OFFERED ME MARRIAGE.
LOOK, YOU CANNOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AN AILING OLD MAN.
HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME.
HOW?! - WHEN?!
NEVER MIND.
I GOT WITNESSES.
I THINK YOU MUST HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD HIM.
OH, I UNDERSTOOD HIM.
HE OFFERED ME MARRIAGE.
HAVEN'T YOU GOT A HOME TO GO TO?
CERTAINLY.
IT'S HERE.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER TEAPOT.
YOU'LL NEED NOTHING OF THE KIND.
THIS LADY IS GOING.
I CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM.
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF BASIS IS THAT FOR A MARRIAGE?
HE'LL PROBABLY HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT YOU WHEN HE WAKES UP.
HE'LL WANT TO PLAY WITH HIS TRAINS.
TRAINS!
OH, I LIKE TRAINS!
I CAN PLAY WITH TRAINS!
WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY? WON'T THEY BE MISSING YOU?
I'VE ONLY GOT A SON. - AH, A SON.
I HAVE A SON, TOO.
YOU CAN'T DESERT HIM. THEY NEED US.
HE'S 45 YEARS OLD.
A VERY TRICKY AGE.
I HAVE TO GO. ELIZABETH IS WAITING.
AND MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT.
IT'S MY DAY FOR THE CHARITY SHOP.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THE WOMAN?
SHE COULD MAKE IT FOUR FOR BRAGG.
I'VE GOT THE SON'S ADDRESS.
I SHALL CALL AND MAKE SURE HE FETCHES HER HOME.
NOW, I MUST GO.
SHE'S A REAL ORGANIZER, OUR HYACINTH.
SHE'S A REAL- - ONSLOW.
I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING.
WAS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
HMM? - HOW WAS YOUR FATHER?
REMARKABLY RELAXED.
JUST TURN LEFT HERE.
I HAVE A CALL TO MAKE. - HERE?!
THIS IS THE ADDRESS.
MY CHARITABLE DUTIES BRING ME HERE.
SOMEONE YOU KNOW? - NO, NO, NO.
A TOTAL STRANGER.
MR. DUXBURY?
DUXBURY? NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
HAVE YOU HEARD OF A DUXBURY? - NOT AROUND HERE.
HE'S NEVER HEARD OF HIM EITHER.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE ASKING US ANYWAY,
WE JUST HAPPEN TO BE HERE DELIVERING
THESE BOXES OF WASTE-PAPER FOR RECYCLING.
BUT I GOT THIS ADDRESS FROM HIS MOTHER.
MOTHER? SHE'S GONE OFF TO BE MARRIED.
NO, SHE HASN'T! - SHE RANG ME THIS MORN-
SO YOU ARE THE SON. - YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
YOU FORGET THINGS.
WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?
YOU CAN GO AND GET HER BACK, THAT'S WHAT YOU CAN DO.
BACK? BACK? I'VE ONLY JUST GOT RID OF HER.
YOU'LL FIND HER AT THIS ADDRESS.
I EXPECT HER TO BE GONE WITHIN THE HOUR.
YOU CAN'T COME BETWEEN TWO LOVERS.
SHE'S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF A SENILE GENTLEMAN.
IT'S JUST WHAT SHE NEEDS. THEY'D BE GREAT TOGETHER.
WITHIN THE HOUR.
MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT, SO SORRY WE'RE LATE.
JUST A LITTLE FAMILY HICCUP.
THIS IS MY NEIGHBOR, MRS. ELIZABETH WARDEN.
YOU'LL REMEMBER ELIZABETH.
SHE'S ALMOST ALWAYS AT MY CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS.
I HAVE NO TIME FOR SOCIALIZING.
NO, NO, NO. THAT'S QUITE TRUE.
MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT IS FAMOUS FOR HER DEDICATION TO SOCIAL SERVICE.
THAT'S NICE.
I HAVE TO TRY AND BRING A LITTLE HAPPINESS TO PEOPLE'S LIVES.
NOT TOO MUCH MIND YOU, OR ELSE THEY START TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED,
NEVER KNOW WHEN TO STOP.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY'RE BEHAVING IN A DISGUSTING MANNER,
ENJOYING EXCESSIVE ROMANTIC BEHAVIOR.
MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT IS A FORCE IN THE COMMUNITY
DEDICATED TO THE SUPPRESSION OF EXCESSIVE ROMANTIC BEHAVIOR.
REALLY? - I WON'T HAVE IT.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN BEING ALL DOLLED UP FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX.
SEX, YES! I DO SO AGREE.
I'VE ALWAYS WARNED MY SHERIDAN AGAINST FEMALES
WHO FLAUNT THEMSELVES AT THE OPPOSITE SEX.
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'LL JUST GO AND CHECK OUR WINDOW DISPLAY.
HYACINTH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - JUST KEEP WALKING, ROSE.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T BEND DOWN.
I FORBID YOU EVER TO BEND DOWN IN THIS VICINITY.
I BROUGHT SOME CLOTHING FOR THE SHOP.
THAT'S SO KIND OF YOU.
IT'S MUCH APPRECIATED. - LET ME TAKE IT.
BUT WHY CAN'T I TAKE IT IN FOR YOU?
ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT IN. I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING.
I FIND LIFE VERY BLEAK IN THE ABSENCE
OF A VERY SPECIAL MR. BLANKENSOP.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A MR. HEPPLEWHITE?
DON'T YOU MENTION THAT CREEP TO ME.
HE WAS SHALLOW.
YOU WERE GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE OVER HIM.
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I FOUND OUT HE WAS SHALLOW.
AND THAT WAS BEFORE I MET THE REAL THING.
I REMEMBER YOU THREATENED TO COMMIT SUICIDE
OVER A MR. HEPPLEWHITE.
YOU WANTED MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS TO BE BURIED IN.
IT WOULDN'T HAVE FITTED ME ANYWAY.
I WOULD HAVE LOOKED DREADFUL.
AND NOW IT'S A MR. BLANKENSOP.
YES.
I WARN YOU - YOU'RE STILL NOT HAVING MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS.
WHO ASKED YOU FOR IT?
OH, DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING STUPID.
I'M FINISHED WITH MEN.
I WISH YOU MEANT IT.
I DO MEAN IT.
THEY'RE NOTHING BUT HEARTACHE AND TROUBLE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I CAN NEVER GET RICHARD TO FOLD HIS PAJAMAS.
THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT.
I'M DETERMINED-
I'M GOING TO SPEND MY LIFE ALONE.
I THINK THAT'S VERY WISE,
BUT YOU'LL NEED A LONGER SKIRT.
NOT MEN.
I'VE GIVEN UP WORRYING ABOUT MEN.
THAT'S WHAT'S IN THE BAG.
ALL MY BEST CLOTHES.
THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.
NO, LET ME TAKE IT IN FOR YOU.
I'M SURE THERE'S SOME POOR SOUL WHO'LL APPRECIATE IT.
NOW, RUN ALONG HOME
AND TELL THEM I'LL FIND SOME WAY OF SAVING DADDY
FROM A FATE WORSE THAN SENILITY.
ROSE.
COME HERE.
THERE'S TOO MUCH INTEREST IN THE OPPOSITE SEX.
THERE'S TOO MUCH OF IT THAT GOES ON.
I MUST SAY, I'VE NEVER FELT OVERWHELMED BY IT.
JUST A LITTLE CHARITABLE GIFT FROM A WELL-WISHER.
OUR FOREFATHERS MANAGED. THEY PRACTICALLY WENT THROUGH THEIR ENTIRE LIVES
WITHOUT ANY INTEREST IN THE OPPOSITE SEX.
THEY MAY NOT HAVE BROADCAST IT.
THEY LIVED PLAINLY. THAT'S THE SECRET OF LIFE - LIVING PLAINLY.
NO FRILLS OR FRIPPERY.
FINANCE AND GENERAL PURPOSES.
OH, HYACINTH.
YOU SOUND UPSET.
I HAVE TO SAVE YOUR FATHER FROM WHAT?
MARRIAGE?!
AT HIS AGE? IN HIS CONDITION?
WON'T IT INTERFERE WITH THE MEDICATION?
I CAN'T DROP EVERYTHING AND GO.
ALL RIGHT!
CANDROP EVERYTHING AND GO.
I'LL USE MY LUNCHTIME.
HE CAN'T BE MARRIED BEFORE LUNCHTIME.
SHE WANTS TO STAY.
WE HAVEN'T GOT A BIG ENOUGH TEAPOT.
I THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER.
TAKE HER HOME. - I CAN'T TAKE HER BACK NOW.
SHE'S JUST FOUND HAPPINESS.
IT BREAKS YOUR HEART, DOESN'T IT?
WE DON'T WANT HER.
THEY'RE IN LOVE.
HE'S STILL ASLEEP.
I'VE GOT WITNESSES.
I CAN'T COME BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS FIANCE!E.
WELL, IT IS.
AND SHE WANTS TO STAY.
THEY CAN WRITE. - SHE'S GOT WITNESSES.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DRAGGED ME INTO THIS.
LET HER BE HAPPY SOMEWHERE ELSE.
I DEMAND YOU BE FIRM.
LET'S FACE IT, YOU'RE FIRMER THAN ME.
I"?
Onslow: HE'S AN OLD MAN. - WHAT'S GOING ON?
DAD'S BEEN ACCUSED OF BEING ENGAGED.
SHE'S GOT WITNESSES. - THIS IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
WE SHALL TAKE LEGAL ADVICE.
WHAT'S IT GOT TO DO WITH YOU? - SHE'S MY SISTER-IN-LAW.
HARD LUCK. MOTHER KNOWS HER RIGHTS.
IS THIS YOUR MOTHER? - YEAH.
BROKENHEARTED. - I CAN SEE THE RESEMBLANCE.
YOU'VE BOTH GOT THE SAME POWERFUL PROFILE.
LET'S NOT STAND OUT HERE
FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE NEIGHBORS.
LET'S GO INSIDE.
TO THINK THAT I SHOULD FALL TO THIS
FROM THE PEAK OF MY CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS.
I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE.
THEN LET ME MAKE YOU A CUP OF TEA.
NOT IN THAT KITCHEN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IT'S MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT.
I HOPE SHE DIDN'T SEE ME.
BETTER LET ME ANSWER THE DOOR.
NO. WE CAN'T LET WORD GET THROUGH TO THE COUNCIL CHAMBER
THAT YOU'VE EVEN BEEN SEEN AT THIS AREA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?
I AM A FOREIGNER IN YOUR COUNTRY.
I WANT TO RETURN THIS LOAD OF SHAMELESS SEE-THROUGH,
EX-CERTIFICATE UP-TO-NO-GOOD UNDERWEAR
THAT WAS LEFT IN ERROR AT THE CHARITY SHOP!
IS THE RIGHT ADDRESS,
IN THE BAG.
GET ROSE. FETCH ROSE. THEY'RE HER UNDIES.
WHY NOT PLEASE TO PUSH THEM THROUGH THE LETTER BOX?
THE KEYHOLE!
IT'S MRS. NUGENT. SHE'S BROUGHT YOUR - UNDERTHINGS BACK.
OH, GOODIE.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D NEED THEM IN THE ABSENCE OF MR. BLANKENSOP.
LOOK, I'VE GOT TO BE GOING NOW.
YOU GET RID OF MRS. COUNCILOR NUGENT.
WAIT HERE.
AND IF SHE ASKS AFTER ME, I AM NOT HERE,
I HAVE NEVER BEEN HERE, AND BESIDES WHICH,
I'M OF FOREIGN EXTRACTION.
RICHARD!
IS IT ALWAYS A MADHOUSE AROUND HERE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I BELIEVE YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR ME.
THESE ARE NOT THE KIND OF GARMENTS WE FEEL
COMFORTABLE WITH AT THE CHARITY SHOP.
AND THAT'S YOURS TOO!
SHE'S RIGHT.
CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.
AND THIS PRACTICALLY WILL BE YOUR HOME
IF YOUR MOTHER STAYS WITH MY FATHER.
MOTHER, ARE YOU COMING?
MOTHER.
I COMMAND YOU, MOTHER. WE'RE LEAVING, NOW!
Daisy: I WONDER IF DAD WILL MISS HER.
Onslow: HE'LL HAVE FORGOTTEN SHE'S EVER BEEN HERE.
I HOPE SO.
I'D HATE DAD TO THINK WE'D BROKE ANYTHING UP.
YOU'RE A SOFTIE.
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO EMBRACE IN THE STREET?
IT'S THEIR STREET.
AT LEAST MAKE HIM PUT HIS SHIRT ON.
WE MUST BE GOING.
ALL MY UNDIES BACK FOR NO PURPOSE.
I WONDER OF I OUGHT TO RING MR. BLANKENSOP.
I REALLY MUST GET BACK TO THE OFFICE.
AND I TO THE CHARITY SHOP-
WHERE SHIRTS ARE AVAILABLE AT GIVE-AWAY PRICES.
OH, YOU CAN GIVE US A LIFT THEN.