Justin Bieber: Seasons (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Dark Season - full transcript

Justin: The first time I smoked
weed was in my backyard here.

I got super stoned,

and then I realized
I liked weed a lot.

That's when my desire
to smoke weed started,

and then I started
smoking weed for a while.

And then I started getting
really dependent on it,

and that's when I realized
that I had to stop.

I don't think it's bad.

I just think for me,
it can be a dependency.

But, yeah, first time
I smoked weed, I was...

I don't suggest this,
but I was 13.



Yeah, 13. 12 or 13.

媻 Not sure what I was doing
before you ♪

♪ I quit trying
to figure it out ♪

Was there anything
that really concerned me?

Um...

Yeah, I think maybe, like...

Maybe the lean,

when he was drinking that.

Can I say that?

There was a time
where I was sipping lean.

I was popping pills,
I was doing molly,

um, you know,
shrooms, everything.

And it was just
an escape for me.

I was just young, you know,
like everybody in the industry



and people in the world
who experiment and do, you know,

just normal growing up things.

But my experience
was in front of cameras,

and I had a different level
of exposure and people.

And, like, I had a lot
of money and a lot of things,

so then you have all these
people around me

just kind of hanging on,
wanting stuff from me,

knowing that, like,
I was living this lifestyle

that they also wanted to live...

Drinking, smoking.

I think when you take
somebody very, very young

and they start to get horrible,
crazy, crippling anxiety,

and it goes undiagnosed

and you don't know what it is
that you're feeling,

you start to self-medicate

because it makes you
feel better,

just helping you
not to feel anything.

With all the success
that we've had,

we've also had some
really turbulent times.

( crowd cheering )

When he turned 18, it started
bubbling a little bit.

19 to, what was it, 21?

That was probably
that dark period.

Ryan: We didn't speak a lot

during some of the times
where he was running amok.

You know, there were a few times
where I saw him, uh,

and it just kind of
hurt my heart seeing him
the way he was, you know?

So I think I just kind of
put a little distance

with that for my own sake.

It would just go without saying

that my position on the path
he was going down...

But at the same time,
just letting him

live his life and learn and,

I don't know, just do his thing.

I know that Justin knows
a good person from a...

I don't even know if anyone
was a bad person.

It was just kids mostly.

But, like, knows good from bad
and knows right from wrong.

And he's making
some wrong decisions,

but I never really believed
that that person

that the whole world
hated so much was who he is.

Woman: Last week, the singer
was arrested in Miami

for allegedly drag racing,
driving under the influence,

and resisting arrest...
All misdemeanors.

Bieber's attorneys pleaded
not guilty on Wednesday.

Justin: I started
valuing the wrong things
in this business

because there was things
dangling in front of me.

"If I get this, I'll be happy.

If I do this, I'll be happy."

He's gone through a lot
in a very short life.

You don't always agree
with someone's decisions
in that moment.

They're young people making
very big decisions that affect
a lot of people.

And sometimes in those
scenarios, you're gonna make
the right decisions.

Sometimes you're gonna
make wrong.

Justin: And these are things

that I think a lot of people

with secure households

learn at a young age.

I never had that security
in a family.

I never had that consistency.

I never had the reliability
and the accountability

and all these things
that make you understand

the way the world works.

I was a good kid,

but I was still,
like, a shithead.

I was bad in school.

I was always a class clown.

I never really respected
authority like that.

I was, like, a nice kid,

but, like,
coaches didn't really like me

because I was a bad team player.

You know, looking back,
those things kind of shape

why you feel the way
you feel about yourself.

Like, I would feel like
I'm a bad person.

His mother was a child
when she raised him.

And she was in a very conflicted

relationship with his dad.

And so there was chronic stress.

The truth is
is I never had the tools.

My parents never
gave me those tools

to be a good team player.

When you're able
to take responsibility...
I know I did that

and I know that did hurt people
because I did that,

but I can look at that
and not have shame over it.

Hailey: Justin and I were never

really in each other's lives

until he chose to get sober

and was trying to come
off of the drugs

almost kind of himself.

I decided to stop...

because I felt like
I was, like...

Like, brah, I was, like, dying.

My security and stuff
were coming into the room

at night to check my pulse.

People don't know
how serious it got.

It was legit crazy scary.

I was waking up in the morning
and the first thing I was doing

is popping pills
and smoking a blunt

and starting my day, you know?

So it just got scary.

I basically said to myself,

I'm like, "God, if you're real,

you get me through this season

of stopping
these pills and stuff,

and if you do,
I'll do the rest of the work."

And then I did that,
and then I was good from there,

but I never did the actual work.

I got off the pills,
but I never went to the root
of everything.

So then I just, like,
kind of circled back around,
which most people do.

So I first met Justin
in September, 2014.

He was a wreck.

He had recently
stopped using drugs.

He was anxious,
overwhelmed, not sleeping.

Yeah.

Mental health is so important
to get on top of.

If you have ADHD,
if you have something that, uh,

you don't want to take medicine,
I strongly believe in it.

It's not the only answer,
but it can really help you,

so that's my advice to you.

Anyways, this is the chamber.

So what it does is it fills up
with oxygen and, um...

I really... I've been struggling
with a lot of anxiety.

And what it does is it
actually...

You get more oxygen
to your brain,

and so it... it, um,

decreases your...
Your stress levels.

I think they're pretty cool.

Hailey: It help bring more
oxygen to your brain,

to your organs.

We have one in our house.

As you can see in the doc,

there was one in the studio.

People are gonna think
he's a crazy person.

People are gonna be like,

"What is this
contraption machine?"

That's some,
like, rich people shit."

I don't know.

- How are you?
- I'm tired. I'm good.

- Let me look at you.
- Can I, um, just address
the camera real quick?

- Please. Go ahead.
- Okay, um, so I am here
in the doctor's office.

And what we are
about to do is, uh,

the nurse is gonna put in an IV,
and it's called NAD.

Um, and basically
what it does is

it is going to flush out
some of the toxins.

Um, I've, uh... I've abused
my body in the past.

And now I'm just
in recovery process

trying to make sure
I'm taking care of my body

and taking care of, uh,
the vessel that God's given me.

So here we go. You ready?

This is Jose. He's the best.

Such a good guy.

For people who used to have
a drug problem,

when they get sober,
the pleasure centers

of their brain
don't work the same.

So what NAD does is
it actually helps to repair

that part of the brain
and helps to repair

your pleasure centers
to balance them back out.

So I've been struggling
with my, um,

energy for quite some time now

and I just haven't known why.

Uh, and it's just...

I realized, uh,
after a series of tests

that I have what's called
Lyme disease,

which is a super silent disease

that's not really, um,
very well-known.

Um, doctors... it's very hard
for doctors to test for it.

Lyme disease is the fastest
growing bacterial infection

in the United States right now.

And we know that it can cause
a whole spectrum

of neuropsychiatric symptoms.

Mood changes, irritability,

depression, anxiety.

Justin fits the picture
of these symptoms.

Epstein-Barr, which is mono,
uh, I have that, too.

That in itself,
mono makes you really sick

and it makes you feel
really tired.

And some people can't
get out of bed because of it.

He saw a psychiatrist
in Los Angeles

who diagnosed him
with bipolar disorder

and gave him lithium without
ever looking at his brain.

When I looked at his brain,
he wasn't bipolar.

Basically infections have, uh,
played a big part in my acne,

um, and my, uh,
overall toxins in my body,

which just creates
all this stuff.

So it feels good now to know

why I feel so crappy
all the time.

He just felt so sick

and there was no explanation
for what was going on.

So now that we have
all the answers,

and we know what it is,
and we know how to, um,

alleviate it and fix it,

you know, I think he's honestly

not only healthier
than he's ever been,

but on the road to maintaining

a healthier life
than he's ever had,
which is awesome.

How are you feeling today?
Better? Much better?

I do. I feel...
Yeah, I feel a lot better.
Thank you for asking.

Having got to know Justin,

I know he's got
a really good heart.

And when he's balanced,

he does really amazing things
for other people.

But it's hard to do
amazing things for other people
when your brain's not right.

Justin:
Honestly, I'm committed
to getting better

and committed to doing
whatever I have to do

whether it's
inconvenient or not,

because I know ultimately
it's not only for me,

but being the best me is gonna
help me the best husband,

the best father,
the best friend
I can possibly be.

And for all the fans
that want to enjoy the music
that I make and stuff,

I can't do it
if I'm not healthy,

and I haven't been healthy
for a long time.

Thank you. You're the best.
Thank you so much.

You've helped me so much.
Thank you.

- Hey.
- ( laughing )

- Hello.
- Hey! Hey!

- See how that
revitalizes you?
- Yep.

Hey, let's go!

There's so many people
that have gifts

and an opportunity
to make a change,

and they end up
either losing it or,

you know, um,
using their gifts for...

selfish reasons.

And, you know,

I see so many
talented people just...

Almost like it feels like

they're wasting
something so precious.

It's up to us as individuals

to use the gifts
that we've been given,

you know, whatever it may be,
to contribute.

In the song "Changes,"
it actually talks about, um,

how some days we want
to push further,

and some days we feel
like doing nothing.

And that often
comes with our mood

and our attitude
towards life, you know?

And sometimes
when life throws you things
that you can't control,

you know,
naturally your attitude
is to be upset

or to be disappointed
or discouraged.

But, you know,
when you fight through
those feelings that are...

That are just feelings
at the end of the day,

and choose to put
your effort into your work

or into your... you know,
into your passion or into...

You know, you find that drive.

But just being here
and forcing myself
to get out of bed,

you know, it might not seem
that hard to some people

to just get out of bed
in the morning,

but it's been really hard for me
to just get out of my bed.

And I know a lot of people
feel that same way,

so I just also want to say

that you're not alone
in that, you know?

There's people that are
going through it with you.

Life is worth living.

And if you're not gonna give up,

then the only thing to do
is to push forward.

媻 Sometimes I'll go
to sleep early ♪

♪ Sometimes I can't close
my eyes ♪

♪ Sometimes I smile like
it's all good ♪

It feels good to share, man,
to be honest.

It feels good.

I haven't, no.
I haven't talked about
any of this.

Not like this, 'cause I...
I don't think I was ready.

I don't think
I was mature enough

to even take responsibility

and, like, really mean it.

™ª I be going through changes ♪

♪ I'm going through changes ♪

♪ I've been going through ♪

♪ I'm going through ♪