Just Shoot Me! (1997–2003): Season 7, Episode 23 - The Goodbye Girl - full transcript
Nina takes under her wing the female impersonator who's portraying her in a cabaret show.
- Good afternoon.
Yeah, obviously I've
had my hair done.
So, any thoughts?
- Oh my God, is the
Westminster Dog Show in town?
- All right, a word to the wise.
If you're stylist wants to know
how her ass looks in pants,
don't use expressions
like very fat.
- Oh my God, and
Grammys are tonight.
- Yes, and I am meeting
Simon in an hour.
What am I gonna do?
- Just keep your back arched
and your tail out, no barking.
- You know, I used to cut hair.
I could fix it.
- Look, just because
for a couple of years
you shellacked bangs
at the Acme Hair Palace
doesn't mean getting
anywhere near this.
- I'll do it only if I
can keep the hair.
- Vicki, you're my gal.
Oh, and in case
I didn't mention it,
your ass looks
fabulous in those pants.
- Thanks, I've
been jumpin' rope.
- Mom, Mom calm down.
I'm not goin' to Uncle
Sal's birthday party.
Don't, don't pull
that one again.
I know it was hard
to give birth to me.
It's not my fault I was
born with a giant head.
Hello?
Mommy?
- Dude, your coffee date's here.
- I have a coffee date?
- Hey, Elliot, you ready?
- Hey, I've been
thinkin' of nothin' else.
So where should we go, Sarah?
- That's not my name.
- I know that, baby.
- It's Kirsten, and
you're pathetic.
- Oh, what, just because
I forgot your name?
- Well, there's that,
and you're selfish in bed.
- I have a big
head, it limits me.
- So, Sarah's the
other girl you're dating?
- Yes, yes.
My mother's screaming
at me, I'm juggling women
and there's this pigeon
on my fire escape
that wakes me up at 5:00 a.m.
- Dude, what you
need is an assistant.
I could clear your
life up like that.
- You'd do that for me?
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
Tell ya what, all I need is
your Social Security card
and your mother's maiden name.
- Okay.
My mother's maiden
name is DiMauro.
- Well, her married
name is DiMauro.
- I know.
Oh, what, a lot of women
marry their second cousins.
- Yeah, that explains
that freaky head of yours.
- Hey, there she is.
We saw you on the
red carpet last night.
- You looked amazing.
- And I owe it all to you.
Now, when Joan Rivers asked me
who did my hair, what did I say?
- "This woman I work with."
- You're welcome.
- Well, it doesn't matter,
'cause when I saw your hair,
it felt like I was
on national TV.
- Hey, you know,
I've got a date tonight.
Can you do anything
with my hair?
- Oh, Maya, I would love to,
but I got this project for Jack.
- Oh, Vicki, work
will always be there,
but, well, it's been forever
since Maya had a man,
unless you count that night that
she nailed that crazy
ass husband of yours.
What, too soon?
- Finch, you're amazing.
A half day, and my life
already getting better.
My studio's organized,
my bills are paid
and this chicken salad you
made is so fresh and tender.
- That reminds
me, I don't think that
pigeon's gonna be
bothering you anymore.
All right, Friday, you
make dinner for Sarah.
Saturday night, you
go out with Kirsten.
- Yeah, but Kirsten's still
mad me for calling her Sarah.
- Oh, not anymore.
I told her the truth.
Sarah was your high school
girlfriend that died in a flood.
Here's her picture.
During dessert, whip it out,
cry a little it,
should seal the deal.
- Ma, ma, look I'm sorry about
Uncle Sal's birthday, okay?
- Oh, don't you
worry about that.
What you did for him is the
best present he could get.
- Well...
- Where did you find
a beautiful young Russian woman
who'd be interested in
such an obese old man?
- It was tough, Ma.
- And, she must
be very important.
Her beeper goes
off all the time.
- Uh, hi, hi.
I'm looking for Nina Van Horn.
- Oh, and you are?
- I'm Nina Man Horn.
I'm going to be playing her
in my drag show downtown.
- Wow, alternative lifestyles.
I think they're
really empowering.
Yea for you.
- Just get her.
- Okay.
- Well, hello there.
Tall, dark and beautiful.
Can I help you?
- No, I'm just
waiting for somebody.
- Oh, well your wait
is over, beautiful.
You know, my eyes
tell me you're a girl
with a little somethin' extra.
- Well, at least
until next spring.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know what
that means, but I like it.
I like it, it's hot.
- Will the one of me who's
an hallucination
please raise her hand.
Okay, as long as one
of me is here, I'm leaving.
- Nina, Nina, I'm Robert.
I'm going to play you in
a drag show downtown.
- Okay, just let
me get this straight.
So, you're a man who
uses his time and energy
to dress up as me
and then prance around
for the amusement of others.
- Uh huh.
- Yes!
I am a gay icon!
- And, ta da!
- Wow.
- Ah, oh my
gosh, it's beautiful.
- Wow, it looks so good - Oh.
- I'm almost not
staring at your boobs.
I mean, I am, but
it's just force of habit.
- Thank you so much, Vicki.
- Are you kidding?
I can't remember when
I've had so much fun.
Vicki.
- Oh, Jack, he wanted
my project an hour ago.
- He's gonna freak
if he sees this.
- I'll handle it.
- Is Vicki in there?
- I don't know.
- How do you now know?
You just came out of her office.
- That wasn't me.
- What's wrong with you?
- I don't know.
- Get out of my way.
- Okay.
- What's going on in here?
- Oh, we were just talking
about the bikini piece.
Maya had a great idea.
- There are these
new miracle fabrics
that are both form
fitting and water resistant.
- Seems complicated.
- There's gonna
be lots of cleavage,
women covered in
oil, eating bananas.
- I like it, it seems smart.
- We're walking and
we stop and we pose.
And we cast a disparaging glance
at that poor woman
with the gaudy jewelry.
And, glasses off.
- Oh, Nina, thank
you for teaching me.
- It is my pleasure.
You're like the daughter
with a penis that I never had.
Oh.
- Oh my God.
- Hey, Maya.
- Hey.
What's goin' on?
- I'm gettin' highlights.
Vicki say it'll really
bring out my eyes.
- Uhm, Vicki?
- Hmm?
- One or two people is okay,
but don't you think this is
getting a little out of hand?
- I don't know.
Word got out,
but I gotta tell you,
I'm havin' the time of my life.
- But we work at a magazine.
- I know.
- I'm thinkin' about
leaving Blush.
- What are you saying?
- Maybe I want to go
back to cutting hair.
- Vicki, that's crazy.
- You know what's crazy?
Justin Timberlake likes to fish.
- So, have you told my
father that you want to leave?
- Not yet.
I'm dreading it,
but I know I have to.
- Listen, are you sure that
you're doing the right thing?
- Maya, I like it here,
but I've never really
felt comfortable.
You know, when I'm cutting hair,
I feel relaxed, I'm in control.
It just feels more like me.
Bet that sounds crazy to you.
- Actually, I
know what it's like
to wish that you were
doing something else.
Between you and me, I always
wanted to be an FBI agent.
- You?
- Yeah.
I even had a special
secret agent name.
Agent M.
And, I'd have my
Glock and I'd always be
the first one through the door.
I'd be like boom!
FBI, freeze,
sucker, this is a raid!
- Don't you ever do that again.
- All right, I'm outta here.
Thanks again for
everything today.
- Aw, you don't have to me
thank me, you already did.
You bought me
this massage chair.
- I what?
- Ahh.
- Finch, you can't buy
things with my credit card.
- Oh, I can do whatever I want,
because without me,
your life would fall apart.
Ahh, oh, you want me
in this chair, brother.
You need me in this chair.
Ooo.
- I don't need you.
- Oh, really?
What dry cleaner
has all your clothes?
- I don't know.
- And what spice
is Sarah allergic to?
- Cardamom?
- I tell ya what, cook
her dinner, make love,
and then watch her
windpipe slam shut.
- You are such a
freakin' little blackmailer.
- Oh, blackmailer, it's so ugly.
I prefer the devil.
- All right, you
know, that's it.
That's it, you know, I've
taken your crap for years.
I mean, when you put pudding
in my pockets, I just smiled.
- When you told
everybody that I was born
with a uterus, I
said, that's Finch.
But this is it,
you've gone too far.
All right, I don't care if my
life falls apart without you.
It's over, you're fired.
- Ahh, actually, I
don't know if you
can fire me without my approval,
'cause I have power of attorney.
- What?
- By the way, I changed
your middle name to Margaret.
I thought it'd be.
- Hi.
Got a minute?
- Sure.
- Okay.
- What's up?
- Look Jack, this is
kinda hard for me to say,
but I want to leave Blush.
- Come on.
- No, look, I am so grateful for
the opportunity you gave me,
but the truth is is
I love cutting hair.
- So, I love eating Hoagies.
You don't see me quitting
and working at a sub shop.
- Sub shops don't hire
people to eat Hoagies.
- Wouldn't it be a
great world if they did?
- Look, Jack, you're
missing the point here.
I'm really leaving.
- I don't believe you.
- Finch, I'm still
workin' here tomorrow,
you could play polka music
and I'll ya a naked lap dance.
- Wow, you're serious.
- Yeah.
- I am stunned.
I mean, people
would kill for this job.
It's glamorous, it pays well,
at Christmas every employee gets
the big can of popcorn
with a three-way divider.
Look, I thought everything
was going so well.
Is it something I did?
- Oh, no, Jack, you've
been great to me.
- I'm a little thrown.
From day one, I thought we
had this special connection.
- Oh, but we do.
- You're like a
member of the family.
- Forget I said anything.
- That's fantastic.
Dennis, good news,
Vicki is staying.
- The place is packed,
the crowd's in a frenzy.
You are going to
make me a legend.
After tonight, men dressed as me
are going to be
groping each other
in bathhouses all
across America.
So, how are you feeling?
- Well, you know,
I had a headache,
but then I took a couple
aspirin that were in your purse.
- Those weren't aspirin.
I just used the bottle
to get through customs.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Nina Man Horn.
- Hello, I'm Nina Van Horn.
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
The star of the show
is not feeling well.
- This guy is fantastic.
- There's been a
misunderstanding.
I am the real Nina.
- You are better looking
than the real Nina.
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina.
♪ I get no kick from champagne
- So, what happened?
How did my dad
convince you to stay?
- Well, he started talkin' about
how close we are
and how I'm like family.
- Vicki, if you would
be happier doing
something else,
then you should do it.
- I owe him too much.
I can't do anything to hurt him.
- She doesn't want to be here.
- What are you talking about?
- Vicki.
She's only staying because she
doesn't want to disappoint you.
I know that you mean well,
but when you care about someone,
you have a tendency
to hold on too tight.
- That's not true.
- Oh, what about
Timmy, the ink boy?
- He loves it here.
- His job is obsolete.
He's been trying
to leave since 1972.
- Yeah, but I like the
way does the finger guns.
- Dad, you're a very
charismatic person.
You can talk
someone into anything.
Just be sure it's what they want
and not only what you want.
- Maya, wait.
You really think
I'm charismatic?
Hey, Timmy.
Never gets old.
- Hey, pal, how's
life goin' without me?
- Fine, I don't need you.
- Aww.
- Hey, Kirsten.
- Hi.
I just opened my
Lands' End catalog,
and I saw a picture of
your dead girlfriend Sarah.
- She loved fleece.
- So you clipped out a
random picture of a model
and ya told me it was
your dead girlfriend.
Gotcha.
- Uhh.
- Sarah.
- I just spent the
last three hours
in the ER thanks to
those muffins you sent me.
They had salt in them.
- Salt, who's allergic to salt?
- So, this is Sarah.
Hi, I'm Kirsten, the other
woman Elliot's dating.
- Elliot DiMauro,
what did you do?
- Ma, not now, it's a bad time.
- Oh, tell that to
your Uncle Sal.
Svetlana's friends,
Yuri and Dimitri,
beat him up and
stole his Bonneville.
- Please, please.
I can't watch this anymore.
Listen, Mrs. DiMauro, you
shouldn't be mad at Elliot.
He's already hired
a private nurse
to help Sal through
his recovery.
- He did?
- Yeah.
Now, she's from Thailand, okay,
so some of her medical
techniques are a little unorthodox,
but I don't think Sal
will have any complaints.
- Elliot, you're the best.
- Sarah, come here.
Listen, Elliot was
gonna dump Kirsten.
She's only after him
for his huge trust fund.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Go to him.
Kirsten, Sarah
doesn't even like Elliot.
She just found out he's got
two tickets to
Fashion Week in Milan.
- Oh.
I've never been to Italy.
- Well, do something.
- Sweetie, you need to back off.
I'm not going anywhere.
- Really, well, neither am I.
And, I'm gonna do things
to him that'll blow his mind.
- Well, I'm gonna
please him in ways
he's never even
imagined possible.
- Oh really?
- Yeah.
- Good luck with that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah,
yeah, ladies, ladies,
arguing is getting us nowhere.
I think there's
only one solution.
I think you should both try
to please Elliot
at the same time.
- I'll do it.
- So will I.
- Buy yourself a Volvo.
- Oh, I'll get rid of all
that hair cutting stuff.
- You really love it, don't you?
- I don't know, it's silly.
- Vicki, if it weren't for me,
what would you
be doing right now?
- Doesn't matter.
- Vicki?
- Look, Jack, when you hired me,
I was in a really bad place.
I needed Blush and I needed you.
Jack, I'll always be grateful.
But, I think I want to go.
- Then you should go.
- Oh, yeah, finally
you're gettin' on that.
Nice!
- Dennis, I'm hugging
Vicki because she's leaving.
- Oh.
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
I'd like to remember
you just as you are.
Can you lose a few
buttons and go like this?
Ohh.
- Goodbye, Finch.
- All right.
Well, I just wanted
to tell ya I'm takin' off.
My lady friend's
here, I'm goin' out.
- Dennis.
You ready?
- Give me second.
It's our third date, if
you know what I mean.
- Come on.
I'll get ya some
popcorn for the road.
♪ Life keeps
bringing me back to you
♪ Keeps bringing me home
♪ It don't matter
what I wanna do
♪ It's got a mind of its own
♪ Life keeps
bringing me back to you
Yeah, obviously I've
had my hair done.
So, any thoughts?
- Oh my God, is the
Westminster Dog Show in town?
- All right, a word to the wise.
If you're stylist wants to know
how her ass looks in pants,
don't use expressions
like very fat.
- Oh my God, and
Grammys are tonight.
- Yes, and I am meeting
Simon in an hour.
What am I gonna do?
- Just keep your back arched
and your tail out, no barking.
- You know, I used to cut hair.
I could fix it.
- Look, just because
for a couple of years
you shellacked bangs
at the Acme Hair Palace
doesn't mean getting
anywhere near this.
- I'll do it only if I
can keep the hair.
- Vicki, you're my gal.
Oh, and in case
I didn't mention it,
your ass looks
fabulous in those pants.
- Thanks, I've
been jumpin' rope.
- Mom, Mom calm down.
I'm not goin' to Uncle
Sal's birthday party.
Don't, don't pull
that one again.
I know it was hard
to give birth to me.
It's not my fault I was
born with a giant head.
Hello?
Mommy?
- Dude, your coffee date's here.
- I have a coffee date?
- Hey, Elliot, you ready?
- Hey, I've been
thinkin' of nothin' else.
So where should we go, Sarah?
- That's not my name.
- I know that, baby.
- It's Kirsten, and
you're pathetic.
- Oh, what, just because
I forgot your name?
- Well, there's that,
and you're selfish in bed.
- I have a big
head, it limits me.
- So, Sarah's the
other girl you're dating?
- Yes, yes.
My mother's screaming
at me, I'm juggling women
and there's this pigeon
on my fire escape
that wakes me up at 5:00 a.m.
- Dude, what you
need is an assistant.
I could clear your
life up like that.
- You'd do that for me?
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
Tell ya what, all I need is
your Social Security card
and your mother's maiden name.
- Okay.
My mother's maiden
name is DiMauro.
- Well, her married
name is DiMauro.
- I know.
Oh, what, a lot of women
marry their second cousins.
- Yeah, that explains
that freaky head of yours.
- Hey, there she is.
We saw you on the
red carpet last night.
- You looked amazing.
- And I owe it all to you.
Now, when Joan Rivers asked me
who did my hair, what did I say?
- "This woman I work with."
- You're welcome.
- Well, it doesn't matter,
'cause when I saw your hair,
it felt like I was
on national TV.
- Hey, you know,
I've got a date tonight.
Can you do anything
with my hair?
- Oh, Maya, I would love to,
but I got this project for Jack.
- Oh, Vicki, work
will always be there,
but, well, it's been forever
since Maya had a man,
unless you count that night that
she nailed that crazy
ass husband of yours.
What, too soon?
- Finch, you're amazing.
A half day, and my life
already getting better.
My studio's organized,
my bills are paid
and this chicken salad you
made is so fresh and tender.
- That reminds
me, I don't think that
pigeon's gonna be
bothering you anymore.
All right, Friday, you
make dinner for Sarah.
Saturday night, you
go out with Kirsten.
- Yeah, but Kirsten's still
mad me for calling her Sarah.
- Oh, not anymore.
I told her the truth.
Sarah was your high school
girlfriend that died in a flood.
Here's her picture.
During dessert, whip it out,
cry a little it,
should seal the deal.
- Ma, ma, look I'm sorry about
Uncle Sal's birthday, okay?
- Oh, don't you
worry about that.
What you did for him is the
best present he could get.
- Well...
- Where did you find
a beautiful young Russian woman
who'd be interested in
such an obese old man?
- It was tough, Ma.
- And, she must
be very important.
Her beeper goes
off all the time.
- Uh, hi, hi.
I'm looking for Nina Van Horn.
- Oh, and you are?
- I'm Nina Man Horn.
I'm going to be playing her
in my drag show downtown.
- Wow, alternative lifestyles.
I think they're
really empowering.
Yea for you.
- Just get her.
- Okay.
- Well, hello there.
Tall, dark and beautiful.
Can I help you?
- No, I'm just
waiting for somebody.
- Oh, well your wait
is over, beautiful.
You know, my eyes
tell me you're a girl
with a little somethin' extra.
- Well, at least
until next spring.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know what
that means, but I like it.
I like it, it's hot.
- Will the one of me who's
an hallucination
please raise her hand.
Okay, as long as one
of me is here, I'm leaving.
- Nina, Nina, I'm Robert.
I'm going to play you in
a drag show downtown.
- Okay, just let
me get this straight.
So, you're a man who
uses his time and energy
to dress up as me
and then prance around
for the amusement of others.
- Uh huh.
- Yes!
I am a gay icon!
- And, ta da!
- Wow.
- Ah, oh my
gosh, it's beautiful.
- Wow, it looks so good - Oh.
- I'm almost not
staring at your boobs.
I mean, I am, but
it's just force of habit.
- Thank you so much, Vicki.
- Are you kidding?
I can't remember when
I've had so much fun.
Vicki.
- Oh, Jack, he wanted
my project an hour ago.
- He's gonna freak
if he sees this.
- I'll handle it.
- Is Vicki in there?
- I don't know.
- How do you now know?
You just came out of her office.
- That wasn't me.
- What's wrong with you?
- I don't know.
- Get out of my way.
- Okay.
- What's going on in here?
- Oh, we were just talking
about the bikini piece.
Maya had a great idea.
- There are these
new miracle fabrics
that are both form
fitting and water resistant.
- Seems complicated.
- There's gonna
be lots of cleavage,
women covered in
oil, eating bananas.
- I like it, it seems smart.
- We're walking and
we stop and we pose.
And we cast a disparaging glance
at that poor woman
with the gaudy jewelry.
And, glasses off.
- Oh, Nina, thank
you for teaching me.
- It is my pleasure.
You're like the daughter
with a penis that I never had.
Oh.
- Oh my God.
- Hey, Maya.
- Hey.
What's goin' on?
- I'm gettin' highlights.
Vicki say it'll really
bring out my eyes.
- Uhm, Vicki?
- Hmm?
- One or two people is okay,
but don't you think this is
getting a little out of hand?
- I don't know.
Word got out,
but I gotta tell you,
I'm havin' the time of my life.
- But we work at a magazine.
- I know.
- I'm thinkin' about
leaving Blush.
- What are you saying?
- Maybe I want to go
back to cutting hair.
- Vicki, that's crazy.
- You know what's crazy?
Justin Timberlake likes to fish.
- So, have you told my
father that you want to leave?
- Not yet.
I'm dreading it,
but I know I have to.
- Listen, are you sure that
you're doing the right thing?
- Maya, I like it here,
but I've never really
felt comfortable.
You know, when I'm cutting hair,
I feel relaxed, I'm in control.
It just feels more like me.
Bet that sounds crazy to you.
- Actually, I
know what it's like
to wish that you were
doing something else.
Between you and me, I always
wanted to be an FBI agent.
- You?
- Yeah.
I even had a special
secret agent name.
Agent M.
And, I'd have my
Glock and I'd always be
the first one through the door.
I'd be like boom!
FBI, freeze,
sucker, this is a raid!
- Don't you ever do that again.
- All right, I'm outta here.
Thanks again for
everything today.
- Aw, you don't have to me
thank me, you already did.
You bought me
this massage chair.
- I what?
- Ahh.
- Finch, you can't buy
things with my credit card.
- Oh, I can do whatever I want,
because without me,
your life would fall apart.
Ahh, oh, you want me
in this chair, brother.
You need me in this chair.
Ooo.
- I don't need you.
- Oh, really?
What dry cleaner
has all your clothes?
- I don't know.
- And what spice
is Sarah allergic to?
- Cardamom?
- I tell ya what, cook
her dinner, make love,
and then watch her
windpipe slam shut.
- You are such a
freakin' little blackmailer.
- Oh, blackmailer, it's so ugly.
I prefer the devil.
- All right, you
know, that's it.
That's it, you know, I've
taken your crap for years.
I mean, when you put pudding
in my pockets, I just smiled.
- When you told
everybody that I was born
with a uterus, I
said, that's Finch.
But this is it,
you've gone too far.
All right, I don't care if my
life falls apart without you.
It's over, you're fired.
- Ahh, actually, I
don't know if you
can fire me without my approval,
'cause I have power of attorney.
- What?
- By the way, I changed
your middle name to Margaret.
I thought it'd be.
- Hi.
Got a minute?
- Sure.
- Okay.
- What's up?
- Look Jack, this is
kinda hard for me to say,
but I want to leave Blush.
- Come on.
- No, look, I am so grateful for
the opportunity you gave me,
but the truth is is
I love cutting hair.
- So, I love eating Hoagies.
You don't see me quitting
and working at a sub shop.
- Sub shops don't hire
people to eat Hoagies.
- Wouldn't it be a
great world if they did?
- Look, Jack, you're
missing the point here.
I'm really leaving.
- I don't believe you.
- Finch, I'm still
workin' here tomorrow,
you could play polka music
and I'll ya a naked lap dance.
- Wow, you're serious.
- Yeah.
- I am stunned.
I mean, people
would kill for this job.
It's glamorous, it pays well,
at Christmas every employee gets
the big can of popcorn
with a three-way divider.
Look, I thought everything
was going so well.
Is it something I did?
- Oh, no, Jack, you've
been great to me.
- I'm a little thrown.
From day one, I thought we
had this special connection.
- Oh, but we do.
- You're like a
member of the family.
- Forget I said anything.
- That's fantastic.
Dennis, good news,
Vicki is staying.
- The place is packed,
the crowd's in a frenzy.
You are going to
make me a legend.
After tonight, men dressed as me
are going to be
groping each other
in bathhouses all
across America.
So, how are you feeling?
- Well, you know,
I had a headache,
but then I took a couple
aspirin that were in your purse.
- Those weren't aspirin.
I just used the bottle
to get through customs.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Nina Man Horn.
- Hello, I'm Nina Van Horn.
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
The star of the show
is not feeling well.
- This guy is fantastic.
- There's been a
misunderstanding.
I am the real Nina.
- You are better looking
than the real Nina.
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina.
♪ I get no kick from champagne
- So, what happened?
How did my dad
convince you to stay?
- Well, he started talkin' about
how close we are
and how I'm like family.
- Vicki, if you would
be happier doing
something else,
then you should do it.
- I owe him too much.
I can't do anything to hurt him.
- She doesn't want to be here.
- What are you talking about?
- Vicki.
She's only staying because she
doesn't want to disappoint you.
I know that you mean well,
but when you care about someone,
you have a tendency
to hold on too tight.
- That's not true.
- Oh, what about
Timmy, the ink boy?
- He loves it here.
- His job is obsolete.
He's been trying
to leave since 1972.
- Yeah, but I like the
way does the finger guns.
- Dad, you're a very
charismatic person.
You can talk
someone into anything.
Just be sure it's what they want
and not only what you want.
- Maya, wait.
You really think
I'm charismatic?
Hey, Timmy.
Never gets old.
- Hey, pal, how's
life goin' without me?
- Fine, I don't need you.
- Aww.
- Hey, Kirsten.
- Hi.
I just opened my
Lands' End catalog,
and I saw a picture of
your dead girlfriend Sarah.
- She loved fleece.
- So you clipped out a
random picture of a model
and ya told me it was
your dead girlfriend.
Gotcha.
- Uhh.
- Sarah.
- I just spent the
last three hours
in the ER thanks to
those muffins you sent me.
They had salt in them.
- Salt, who's allergic to salt?
- So, this is Sarah.
Hi, I'm Kirsten, the other
woman Elliot's dating.
- Elliot DiMauro,
what did you do?
- Ma, not now, it's a bad time.
- Oh, tell that to
your Uncle Sal.
Svetlana's friends,
Yuri and Dimitri,
beat him up and
stole his Bonneville.
- Please, please.
I can't watch this anymore.
Listen, Mrs. DiMauro, you
shouldn't be mad at Elliot.
He's already hired
a private nurse
to help Sal through
his recovery.
- He did?
- Yeah.
Now, she's from Thailand, okay,
so some of her medical
techniques are a little unorthodox,
but I don't think Sal
will have any complaints.
- Elliot, you're the best.
- Sarah, come here.
Listen, Elliot was
gonna dump Kirsten.
She's only after him
for his huge trust fund.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Go to him.
Kirsten, Sarah
doesn't even like Elliot.
She just found out he's got
two tickets to
Fashion Week in Milan.
- Oh.
I've never been to Italy.
- Well, do something.
- Sweetie, you need to back off.
I'm not going anywhere.
- Really, well, neither am I.
And, I'm gonna do things
to him that'll blow his mind.
- Well, I'm gonna
please him in ways
he's never even
imagined possible.
- Oh really?
- Yeah.
- Good luck with that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah,
yeah, ladies, ladies,
arguing is getting us nowhere.
I think there's
only one solution.
I think you should both try
to please Elliot
at the same time.
- I'll do it.
- So will I.
- Buy yourself a Volvo.
- Oh, I'll get rid of all
that hair cutting stuff.
- You really love it, don't you?
- I don't know, it's silly.
- Vicki, if it weren't for me,
what would you
be doing right now?
- Doesn't matter.
- Vicki?
- Look, Jack, when you hired me,
I was in a really bad place.
I needed Blush and I needed you.
Jack, I'll always be grateful.
But, I think I want to go.
- Then you should go.
- Oh, yeah, finally
you're gettin' on that.
Nice!
- Dennis, I'm hugging
Vicki because she's leaving.
- Oh.
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
I'd like to remember
you just as you are.
Can you lose a few
buttons and go like this?
Ohh.
- Goodbye, Finch.
- All right.
Well, I just wanted
to tell ya I'm takin' off.
My lady friend's
here, I'm goin' out.
- Dennis.
You ready?
- Give me second.
It's our third date, if
you know what I mean.
- Come on.
I'll get ya some
popcorn for the road.
♪ Life keeps
bringing me back to you
♪ Keeps bringing me home
♪ It don't matter
what I wanna do
♪ It's got a mind of its own
♪ Life keeps
bringing me back to you