Just Add Magic (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Just Add Surprise - full transcript

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-Previously on
Just Add Magic... -Ever hear of

"Teleporting Tamales"?

-No.
-Good.

Now eat the quiche.

Well, I'm awake.
What do you need this time?

-ERIN: Your recipe says "Need
3." -MAMA P: That wasn't about

-the Morbium. It was about the
cooks. -ERIN: The protectors.

MAMA P: The spell wouldn't work
unless all three

-cooked it together.
-ERIN: I just need to

-get the girls to make it
with me. -MAMA P: Guess you'll

never get your hands
on that book.



I have ways
of making the others cook.

Others?
I know who you are.

KELLY:
Took you long enough.

Say good-bye to the magic.

Good-bye... magic.

I came up with a recipe
to unmask the real Night Bandit.

I call it
"Hook the Crook Casserole."

Once we make this spell...

it will all be over.

♪ ♪

YOUNG IDA:
"Keep the Cookbook Casserole."

One cup light cream.

One quarter teaspoon
Tengu nutmeg.

One quarter teaspoon
Taurian pepper.



Two cans tuna.
Egg noodles.

One pinch Lapsus salt.

One quarter teaspoon
Elysian thyme.

Two teaspoons melted butter.
And...

One Morbium seed.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

HANNAH:
Lapsus salt. Elysian thyme.

Nice work.

This should definitely reveal
whoever's impersonating Erin.

-So what are we waiting for?
Let's get cooking. -Oh, wait--

-w-what's the hurry? I mean,
we just got here. -Right.

It's not like the Night Bandit's
going anywhere.

We don't know that.
This person caused an earthquake

and cursed us with a rot spell.

We need to act fast.

No one hates a rot spell
more than I do,

but I've got
a full smoothie here

with no lid.

Can't go mobile lidless.
Safety hazard.

So I'll get you one.

Do you think she knows we know?

"Can't go mobile lidless"?

Sorry. You know I'm not good
with secrets.

Hey, Jake.
Do you think

-you could sneak me
an iced tea refill? -Love to.

Ain't happening.
Now that my pluot bread

has a shot
at getting on the menu,

Erin has been watching me
like a hawk.

Wants to see
if I'm executive material.

I don't want to blow it.

Whoops. Gotta go.
Don't want her to think

that I'm spending
too much time interfacing

with our customer base.

Here.

You're street legal now.
Let's go.

You know what?

I think I want a sandwich.

(sighs)

(phone buzzes)

On second thought,

I've had enough to eat.
Let's go.

Okay, you guys
head into the trailer,

I'll go get some more
measuring cups,

and then I'll grab
the mixing bowls, because...

Surprise!

Happy birthday, honey.

But my birthday's
not till Sunday.

Who has a rockin' party
on a Sunday?

(chuckles)

-So, Kell, were you surprised?
-Are you kidding me? Yes.

Really surprised-- like,
"this is the last thing

in the world you thought
would be happening" surprised?

You said it perfectly.
(chuckles)

Hey, come on, you guys,
it's picture time.

-Yay.
-(whoops gently)

All right-- one, two, three,

smile.
(chuckles)

Looks like I'm a little short
on cash for your tip.

Catch you next time?

(door closes)

"Eat the quiche."

Eat the quiche.

Everybody get on
the bubble wrap dance floor.

♪ ♪

-Hey, Mr. Quinn.
-Oh, hey, Jake.

-You just get here?
-Yeah, I couldn't leave work

a second early. Man,
corporate politics is a drag.

I just want to dance
and cut loose.

I got you covered.
Tears for Fears or Duran Duran?

Uh, no offense, Mr. Quinn,

but you got anything
from this century?

No offense, Jake, but there's
nothing good from this century.

Right. Uh...

I think I'll go check out

-the photo booth.
-(chuckles)

Let's get on the bubble wrap
dance floor!

Come on out.

Okay, only three toppings each.

Piper, not so many olives.

Huh.
Who made her the pizza police?

Hey, Kell.
What do you think of your party?

It's amazing.
I can't believe you guys

went to so much trouble.

You want to do the photo booth?

-Definitely. After we cook.
-Pizza?

No. The spell.
The trailer's ready.

All we have to do
is sneak in there.

No one will even notice
we're gone.

Yeah, no one notices
when the birthday girl

goes missing from her own party.

Actually, I think I saw that
in a horror film once.

Come on, Kelly.
It's your birthday party.

I know, and I love it, but...

I can't enjoy myself knowing
the Night Bandit is out there.

It'll be fine.
Trust me.

She's right.
Come on, Kell,

your mom worked really hard
on this.

-There's bubble wrap dancing.
-I promise we'll cook tomorrow.

Yeah. You're right.

Thanks, guys.

I better go circulate.

After all,
I am the birthday girl.

-Sometimes I wonder about her.
-I know.

Well, at least we got her
to put down the magic for once.

"Worst Party Ever
Whipped Cream."

Perfect, that should make
everyone clear out of here.

(thump)

♪ Who's that walking by... ♪

(doorbell rings)

-Oh, hi.
-Hi, Terri.

-Zoe left this in the car.
-(scoffs) Been there.

It's bad enough always being
the new kid at the party,

but being the new kid
without the present...

Come on in.

Thanks, Mom. Sorry you had
to drive all the way back.

That's okay.

(chuckles)

Hey, listen, why don't you stay?

We have way too much food.

Sure. That'd be nice.
Thank you.

Let's do it again.
This time wear the antlers.

(sighs)

JAKE:
Uh...

well, I-I don't usually, uh...

I... I-I'm off work.

I'm a very professional person.

You have something on your head.

♪ ♪

Should have gotten
the electric mixer.

(indistinct chatter, laughter)

Everyone. I have some bad news.

Deejay Dad is retiring.

-CROWD: Aw. -So no more music
from him tonight.

-What the heck?
-Because...

we just got a karaoke machine!

(cheering)

What the heck?

Come on, everybody.
It's karaoke time.

Yes, karaoke.

Save "Hotel California" for me.

I love your dad, but no one was
dancing to his playlist.

Once the karaoke gets going,

no one's gonna want
this party to end.

♪ We ♪

♪ Live, live it up ♪

Exactly how long
have we been dancing?

My feet say hours.

We started around 5:00.

BOTH:
Best party ever.

Guys, you're not going
to believe this.

♪ Tumble out of bed and
I stumble in the kitchen ♪

♪ Pour myself a cup
of ambition ♪

♪ And yawn and stretch,
and try to come to life ♪

♪ Jump in the shower and
the blood starts pumping ♪

♪ Out on the street
the traffic is jumping ♪

♪ With folks like me
on the job ♪

♪ From 9:00 to 5:00 ♪

♪ Working 9:00 to 5:00 ♪

♪ What a way to make a living ♪

♪ Barely getting by ♪

♪ It's all taking
and no giving... ♪

"Make a party the worst
you could wish

"with all things fun erased.

"It will decline
with just one dish,

and end when all is embraced."

I don't get it.

Why isn't this working?

♪ You would think that I ♪

♪ Would deserve
a fat promotion ♪

♪ Want to move ahead ♪

♪ But the boss won't seem
to let me... ♪

Someone should tell Jake
that is not

how you climb
the corporate ladder.

That just looks wrong.

♪ ♪

You know what else is wrong?

My phone still says 5:00.

Maybe it's just your phone.

Or not.

You don't think...

The party's been spelled.

So why time stop?

Because the best party ever...

ALL:
Never ends.

Somebody wants to keep us
seriously distracted.

Somebody is planning
something big.

That somebody being
the Night Bandit,

who could be here
at this very minute.

(partygoers chatting
indistinctly)

(sighs) Come on. Can't you guys
just go to a party

without the magic following you?

-No.
-Not really.

Well, come on.
We have to tell Kelly.

We can't. We made this big deal
about the magic waiting

until after her birthday.

We're going to have to find
a counterspell

and do this ourselves.

(knocking on door)

-Yeah.
-(door opening)

-Hey.
-Hey, Kelly.

Wanted to give you this.

My mom bought it, so I have
not idea what it is,

but I'm sure it's nice.

Thanks.

Whoa. Cool book.

What is that?

A... school project.

I made a cookbook.

-Can I look at it?
-No.

Okay.

-I mean, the glue's
still drying. -Oh.

Well, I hope you get an "A."

By the way, great party.

And I hate parties.

I once sabotaged my own party,
by taking the invitations

out of the mail.

Sabotage, huh?

It's not in here.

Well, it has to be here
somewhere.

Where'd you guys cook last?

Here, but I'm pretty sure
I put the book back.

Maybe you didn't.

I'll look in the front,
you guys check in the back.

♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ It's a brand-new day ♪

♪ And it's all mine ♪

♪ There's a brand-new way ♪

♪ I'm gonna shine... ♪

Hey, birthday girl.

Pull up some dough.

We're having a "who can make
the craziest pizza" contest.

But I have to warn you,

I have bacon,
olives and jalapeños.

Sounds pretty unbeatable,
but... sure.

Just let me wash my hands first.

♪ Sometimes we just can't seem
to relate ♪

♪ I'll swim the day,
I'll skate... ♪

-(clears throat)
-GRANDMA: All right.

Make way,
pizza coming through.

(Kelly laughs)

GRANDMA (scoffs):
No. What?

It's on "clean."

Ah, it'll be locked
for the rest of the night.

You're kidding.

I'm so disappointed.
What a bust.

Not so fast.

We have a pizza stone.

We'll just put it on the grill.

It'll be even better this way.

Come on, everybody.

(sighs) Well, it's obviously
not in here.

Maybe Kelly moved it.

GRANDMA (nearby):
Come on, everybody.

We're making pizzas
on the grill.

♪ Who are you fighting for? ♪

♪ ♪

You know, I could really go
for some grilled pizza.

That does sound amazing.

No. No. We have to find
the book.

But it smells really good.

That's the spell talking, right?

Definitely.

Let's get pizza.

Mm-hmm.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh. ♪

MAMA P:
Eat the quiche.

Ugh.

Ah.

(sighs)

(partygoers chatting
indistinctly)

(sighs) That was good, but
I couldn't eat another bite.

It's still 5:00.

What do you got?

-Ah, shoot. I forgot my phone
in the trailer. -(scoffs)

Hey, guys. Having fun?

-Yeah. -The most.
-Yes.

-HANNAH: You?
-Incredible, mm-hmm.

Uh, we were just about

to do the photo booth,
if you want to come.

On my way to karaoke.

ALL:
Great.

I'll check in with you guys
soon, then.

We have to break this spell.

Maybe the book's in
Kelly's backpack.

She sometimes hides it
in there.

I'll meet you there.
I'm gonna go grab my phone.

♪ ♪

(door opening)

Yes, I'd like to report
a noise violation.

There's a very loud party
going on

at 5049 Elmwood Road.

Yes, thank you.

(shouting, laughing in distance)

Give me that.

What is that?
And why did you call the police?

I really wish
you hadn't seen this.

-It's not in here!
-Let's just ask her then.

No. If we tell her
that we're spelled,

then all she'll remember
from this party is

that it was spelled.

Here. Hold this.

TERRI: I'm so sorry.
We'll-we'll try to keep it down.

Um, everyone, the police are
here for a noise complaint.

(groaning and chatter)

And they brought us free passes

for Police Appreciation Day
at the water park!

(applause and cheering)

Thank you.

Kelly.

DARBIE:
You mean it's

Kelly?

I don't understand.

Why would Kelly want
to spell her own party

-so it's the worst party ever?
-I guess

to chase everyone out
so she can cook.

But it doesn't make sense.

Why would she want
to do that so badly?

I know, but Kelly has been
kind of off lately.

Oh, no.

-What? -I just had
the most horrible thought.

-What?
-It's just,

if Kelly is responsible
for spelling us this time,

do you think
she could be... you know?

Responsible for all the others?

You're saying
Kelly's the Night Bandit.

Tell me I'm way off,
like I usually am.

I can't...

because I was thinking
the same thing.

We have to tell Piper.

Seriously, guys?

-Kelly!
-How long have you been...?

Long enough.

You guys really think
I'm the Night Bandit?

Pretending I'm Erin, melting
glass in front of everyone?

Why would I? And when?

I'm with you guys, like, 24/7.

What about this?

Like you said,

I thought it would chase
everyone out of here.

Obviously, it didn't
turn out that way.

Well, we told you
we'd cook tomorrow.

You didn't have to go around
sneaking behind our backs.

I know. I should have waited,

but just because I'm impatient
doesn't mean I'm evil.

(both laughing softly)

Wow. I can't believe
we said those things.

I'm sorry, Kelly.

Yeah. Guess we were just
a little freaked out.

A little? "Oh, no. What if
Kelly's the Night Bandit?"

(laughter)

Okay, so, what about this party?

We can't be stuck here forever.

It's been 5:00 for hours.

This really is
the worst party ever.

But we thought
you were having fun.

No. It's awful.

And I have no idea
how to stop it.

I've looked at the riddle
over and over.

Well, maybe it's not the riddle.

Look at the illustration.

Everyone's eating
the whipped cream but the mom.

-I didn't have any.
-Me, neither.

But I would have.
I love whipped cream.

You love everything.

So it's a dosing spell.

Everyone else
should have eaten it.

So when I ate it,
it became my worst party.

One so good,
it goes on forever.

Makes sense, but it doesn't
help us with the counterspell.

Maybe there isn't one.

"Make a party the worst
you could wish

"with all things fun erased.

"It will decline
with just one dish and end

when all is embraced."

"All is embraced."

So if I actually have fun
at the party,

the spell will break?

How are we supposed to do that?

You can't force fun.

You want to bet?

SCOTT:
Yo! Yo!

-(microphone feedback squeals)
-Yo!

-(knocking)
-Yo?

Yo! Yo!

We got a B-day girl
in the house.

Buddy, drop a beat.

(beatboxing)

(speaking song):
♪ Her name is Kelly Quinn ♪

♪ And she's the B-day queen ♪

♪ Her party-throwin' skills
are the best I've ever seen ♪

♪ And if you see her 'round,
try not to get too jelly ♪

♪ Just take a pic and hashtag
"Happy birthday, Kelly" ♪

♪ I hope this year is the best
it's ever been and that ♪

♪ It calls for raps from ♪

♪ Hashtag Scotty Quinn! ♪

(laughter, whooping,
applause)

(microphone squeaks)

-Happy birthday.
-Thank you, Dad.

Mmm.

♪ Uh, uh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh,
ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I can't help it,
I do it my way ♪

♪ I keep on moving
like a freight train ♪

♪ 'Cause standing still
is not my forte ♪

♪ Better believe there ain't no
one who can put out that flame ♪

♪ Because you know
there ain't no stopping us ♪

-♪ Ready, set, go ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

-♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-♪ Ready, set, go ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

-♪ Ready, set, go ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪,

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

-♪ Ready, set, go ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

-♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-♪ Ready, set, go. ♪

-Hey, good rapping.
-I know.

-Thank you.
-Very impressed.

Oh.

What was that for?

For a great party.

Thanks, Mom.
I had a lot of fun.

(whooshing)

Whoa.

Whoa!

The sun finally went down.

-(sighs)
-It looks like the spell broke.

Yup.

You almost seem sad.

It really was
the best party ever.

-See you tomorrow.
-Yup.

Hey, where's everyone going?

We haven't had the cake,
or sung "Happy Birthday" yet.

I'll go get the cake.

Cake. I almost forget the
best part of any birthday. Oh.

-Hannah?
-What is it?

It's the recipe from 1975.

That's impossible.

We saw Kelly rip it up in 1975

and throw it in the falls.

Nothing is impossible
with magic.

Wait. Look at the ingredients.

One quarter teaspoon
of Tengu nutmeg.

One quarter teaspoon
Taurian pepper.

One cup milk, two cans tuna.

This is the same recipe
Kelly wanted us

to make with her
to catch the Night Bandit.

Except for one key ingredient.
Look at the last one.

DARBIE:
Morbium?

Morbium.

Ah, Kelly wants us to cook with
her to keep the book forever.

This recipe was never

about finding the Night Bandit,
because...

She is the Night Bandit.

Quick. Put that back
in Kelly's bag.

She can't know we know.

Hey, what's going on, guys?
Is everything okay?

We think
Kelly is the Night Bandit,

and that she wants
to keep magic forever.

Magic? (laughs)

What are you guys talking about?

Oh, no. Piper, please tell me
you remember the magic.

Is this a joke?

Oh, it's some sort
of party game.

I don't get it,
but sounds like fun. (laughs)

Her memory of magic
has been erased.

There's only one person
who could have done this.

(lights clack off)

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday
to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday,
dear Kelly ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪

(distorted laughter, clapping)