Judge Me Not (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Stupid Tax - full transcript
- No, that's-
- Get out of the store.
- You don't belong here.
Take your kids and
get out of the store.
Get out of the store,
you don't belong here.
- You put your hands
on my goddamn son.
- Let's go do it outside.
- That's not your
seed, that's my seed.
- Oh, we'll take it outside.
- Here are the cops, come here.
- You ever gonna stop,
you're gonna get
arrested right now.
- Don't touch my things.
- Stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
- What is the problem?
What's going on here?
- We are under attack.
They're looting and rioting.
- Who are they?
- The Blacks
all of the Blacks.
- Is this what y'all
called in as a riot?
- Yes!
- Stop, stop, stop.
- And I know you're
not taking me to jail
'cause this bitch
slapped my son.
- Her son is a thief.
- They're all thieves.
They come here
every day, stealing,
taking away from us
inch by inch by inch.
- Man, they fightin'
Jovan and he only 12.
- These people, they come
in here causing trouble.
- Oh, shut the fuck
up, motherfucker.
You are the one
that slapped my son.
- Look, look, how about this.
Everybody's fightin',
everybody's disorderly,
everybody's going to jail.
Sit down! Sit down!
- Man, I can't
believe this, man.
- Okay, I'm up, I'm up.
Oh, I'm up.
Okay, asshole.
Jesus?
- I live here, remember?
- I didn't know
that you were here.
- What I look like?
I know how night work on you.
I come home.
I ain't got no
curfew, but I pull up.
- What time did you get here?
- I don't know, mom, but
you were sound asleep.
- Darrell, if you come
in creeping at night,
then it's like you were not here
and I need you here
to get to sleep.
- I'm a grown man, Jay.
- What does that have to
do with me needing you?
You know if you'd trust me
more, we'd both feel better.
- Darrell, you didn't
even get in the bed.
How could you not
get in the bed?
- I went to sleep on
the couch last night.
You know you get when
you get restless in bed
and I ain't trying
to get my ass kicked.
- Darrell, they are coming at me
from every angle.
When I'm awake, it's
Ruth, it's mom, it's you.
When I'm asleep, it's Beth.
- But I'm right here.
- Sometimes.
- Okay.
So how about this?
No curfew, but I promise
to brave the field of battle
and hop in the bed no
matter how jacked up it is.
- Darrell, when
I'm going through
the thick of it,
can you just at least
please come home early.
Look, I don't need you to be
home at 6 p.m. for dinner,
but at least, come on,
just give me something.
Give me some touch by 10.
I'm not asking all the time.
Just when things are thick.
- But that's the thing.
Things are always thick for you.
Even when there's
no real problem,
you find something
to worry about.
Look, remember that time
you were convinced I
was trying to kill you?
- Oh.
- Because-
- Oh, yeah, yeah, whatever,
that was a tough month then.
Couch, huh?
- Come on.
Yeah.
Innocent until
proven guilty, right?
- I am sorry.
I didn't mean to treat you like-
- A liar.
But you did, yeah.
- It's just, my
head is just cloudy
and all the nightmares
are starting
to feel more and more
real and like I can't,
I can't figure out-
- What the fuck is this?
- It's protection.
I, maybe I've been
freaking out because
of these nightmares
and I just got that
totally in case.
- Yeah, but what
has that got to to
with you hiding a
knife in the couch?
I mean, if you need
protection, you can come to me.
- Darrell, you're not
even here at night.
I don't know if
somebody's gonna come
through that back door
or through the front door
or through the window.
- Have you been
taking your pills?
- Yes.
- As prescribed?
- Yes.
- Without liquor.
You dancing with the devil
all by yourself in your head.
- I hate when you call me crazy.
- I didn't call you crazy.
- In my head?
- All right, I'm sorry, Jay.
I didn't mean it.
It's just, I just
wanna make sure
you taking care of yourself.
- Who keeps calling you?
- It's work.
- Let me see the phone.
- Damn.
Why can't you just
trust a nigga?
- Because sometimes a
nigga can't be trusted.
- You trippin'.
Take this, put this for before
one of us kill ourselves.
Yo.
What's good?
Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.
- Lyin' ass motherfucker.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome, Judge.
- See you later.
- Morning, Judge.
- Morning, Barbara.
I assume you have
a plan for today.
- Indeed I do.
Ali is all anybody
can talk about.
- Hmm.
- The Arabs painting Black folk
as perpetual criminals.
- Then there's
Reverend Opportunity
in his ugly ass suits.
You would think a guy
ripping off his flock
would dress much better.
- Right?
Anywho, when I saw both
groups up in that hallway,
I went in there with
a couple of officers,
put then in neutral corners.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm not having another
bloody Monday in here.
Plus we got press coming.
We need some press.
Who's doing traffic court today?
- Judge Graves.
- Damn, that means
Spangler's doing housing.
Okay, this is what I need.
I need Spangler to take traffic
in Graves' courtroom and Graves
to take the housing
docket in your courtroom.
- You know neither one of
them is going to like that.
- If they bark-
- I know.
- Send them straight to you.
- Why the switch?
- You know how thick
traffic court is.
Spangler's so much faster.
Hey, with all Talid bracket,
have you had time to get ready
for Graves' dinner tonight?
- Yeah, I'll be ready.
I just gotta put
this to bed first.
- Every time things settle
down, something new happens.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
The Talids swear the Smiths
are pulling a Jessie.
- A Jessie?
- Yeah, you know.
The notes that the Smiths
found in front of their house?
Well, the Talids are saying
that the Smiths put
it there themselves
and are blaming them.
- Oh, dear Lord.
Okay.
Well, Judge, this is
where I drop you off.
Have a great day and I
will see you tonight.
- Yeah.
Hey, Jean, did you print out all
that Steele stuff
that I asked for?
- Yes, I did.
It's on your desk, I-
- Oh, here it is.
- Judge, why don't you
let me just clean off-
- No, no, because if
you move anything,
it'll confuse me.
- But you can't find
anything right now.
- Why don't you just let
me run things my way.
- Okay.
- Jean.
I'm sorry.
- So, how did she
become a judge?
Well, if you guys seen
her face, she's hot.
But hot doesn't mean competent.
And you want a competent judge
to handle a criminal
case, you know.
So, women voted for her
because she's one of them
and Black people
voted for her because
she's also one of them.
You know, she's already
killed one woman already
and now one of the
most explosive cases
that's rocked this
entire community has
been placed on her doorstep.
That's not a good thing
and I don't see
this playing well.
- Good morning, Judge.
- Barbara.
- Your 9 a.m. docket
is set and ready to go.
- And how are you
this morning, Barbara?
Rumor's still flying I see?
- Well, she did burn
down your house.
- It was
three weeks ago.
- Still interesting.
You're lucky, though.
This Ali thing has pushed
you out of the news cycle.
- Yeah, but everyone here-
- Can you blame them?
She's still calling.
- Indeed she is.
Have a good day.
Everybody.
- Howard what are you doing
in Spangler's chambers?
- Barbara's working
some logistic magic
and she put Ruth in
my room to do traffic
and I'm doing housing.
It appears that I
don't move as quickly
as she wants me to.
- Docket over already?
- No, I have them working
on some plea deals.
I've got about
another hour to go.
So, what's new with you?
- Nothing.
- You sure?
- I am.
- Have you contained
your situation?
- Working on it.
- According to the
clerk's office,
you need to work harder.
- They live for that nonsense.
- You haven't changed
your mind about pressing
charges, have you?
- Oh, hell, no.
Last thing I want is a
criminal case opening up
the doors to my love life.
Besides.
- You're not done
with her, are you?
You like that crazy shit.
- Hey, shh.
I like women who do
unexpected things.
- Leave Jay alone.
- I never said-
- You don't have to.
I got eyes on you.
Ruth, Ruth.
- How's my housing docket
going there, Howard?
- Business as usual.
Everybody's outraged
at the city danes
to make them keep
their houses up.
And how are my traffic
court citizens?
- Indignant as always.
Some days I like
the suspects better
than the citizens.
Traffic court is the worst.
- No argument there.
- And I've gotten stuck
there twice this week.
- You got a complaint, make it.
- I'm not complaining.
We all hate traffic court.
Just saying, I got
stuck twice this week.
- Because I'm too slow.
That's where you wanna
end that sentence, right?
- Okay, children,
let's to argue.
Things are what they are.
We're making this thing work
the best way we can.
Thank you.
I wish you wouldn't
work her up like that.
- You were standing right here.
She started it.
- Howard.
- Y'all too damn serious,
that's your problem.
Two, count 'em, two
years and I'm outta here.
♪ You're gonna miss
me when I'm gone ♪
- Damn.
- All rise.
- Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen.
- You may be seated.
- This is not the judge we had.
I want the judge we had.
- That judge just arraigned you.
Who you get after that
is luck of the draw.
- But she's one of them.
And a woman.
I want the judge we had.
- Excuse me, counsel,
can I help you?
- No, Your Honor.
- What do mean no?
She asked you if there's
something, tell her.
- Ali, I'm telling
you this won't work.
I apologize, Your Honor.
My client here is
concerned that, well-
- I'll be biased
'cause I'm black.
- My apologies, Your Honor.
- No need to apologize.
It's human nature to
treat your own better
than you would treat others
and, obviously, anyone
in Mr. Talid's position
would think that.
He's just bold enough to say it.
- So, you admit
you're prejudice.
- Well, that's the
thing, Mr. Talid.
We all are.
But no one wants to admit it.
But if you don't admit it,
then you adjust for it.
- So, we'll get the other judge.
- No, no.
- Don't worry.
I double check all of my actions
for the presence of bias.
Every single one.
- Your Honor, may I speak.
- No.
- But I'm Reverend Franks.
- I know who you are.
You are an observer
in open court
and that is a non-speaking role.
- Now what the fuck, bruh.
- Goddamn, boy, you
scared the shit out of me.
- Well, how you get in here?
- I thought everybody was out
running around doing shit.
Figured I'd be straight.
- Now, answer my question.
- Mom's key, bruh, she
got one from Jay, chill.
- The key.
- I just said it's Mommy's.
- Man, if you don't give me.
Mommy's key.
nigga, never again.
- Goddamn, killer, calm down.
You act like I'm here tryin'
to rob the place or somethin'.
- You, this ain't
happening, man.
- Bruh, come on,
bruh, can I just have
a place to hang out and
kick it for a little bit?
I'm tired of being
in that damn house.
Everybody crazy as shit
and you know how they are.
Mom's over there trippin',
dad doing what dad do best,
ha, ha, ha.
I just need a place to
chill, relax, watch some TV.
Is that okay?
Look, I got an extra sandwich
and everything for
you, you hungry?
- What kind?
- Bo's Bistro, the
roast beef special, too.
Here, bruh, I know you
want it, you hungry, here.
Huh.
- That don't make this
shit, cool, though, aight?
- Okay, D-Bo, I mean,
Darrell, my bad.
Thank you.
Oh, shit.
This nigga, you the one with
the African braided
blanket, bruh.
- Excuse me, Judge.
Hey, Judge.
- You gotta jostling him.
- Judge, can Alton
stand with me.
I've know his family
since he was a boy
and if my Chester was here,
you wouldn't be
doing this to me.
- Calm down there, Wheeler.
- Um, okay.
- Thank you.
- Weird assed.
- Oh, my Mrs. Felix,
we've been at this
for a while it seems.
- Judge, they trying to
put me outta my house.
- No one wanna put you out
of our house, Ms. Felix.
- Well, I don't know why
they can't let me be.
The house is mine.
I've been there 37
years, raised four kids
and my husband died there
and now they wanna put me out
'cause they don't
like how it looks.
If they don't like
what they see,
then they need to
stop coming over.
- Judge, this isn't just
a cosmetic complaint.
Can we throw the images up?
- I don't know how to do this.
Wheeler, come up here and
get these images up for me.
- I could call Spangler.
- Well, you were up here before,
so you know how to get here.
- Go Wheeler.
- I don't know nothing
about this technology here.
- What's Spangler's password.
How's that?
- Now, Ms. Felix.
We can't just let this go on.
- Got this old lady
here all by myself
and think you can terrorize me.
- Your husband?
- Yes.
- How long has he been gone?
- Five years.
- Tell you what, Ms.
Felix, how about this?
I won't let them do
anything till next week,
but the next time I'll
convene court at your house
so we could watch
what they do together.
- Judge, you can't-
- I can't what?
- Convene my court
where I please?
The power is vested in
me, not in this room.
- I don't know, Judge.
- You wanna get this done
or don't you, Mr. Druss.
- I, I do, but
procedurally, there's-
- Is my plan okay
with you, Ms. Felix?
- As long as you come.
- I'll be right there.
- Thank you.
- All right,
so we're done for today.
- With that, the defense
rests, Your Honor.
- What is she doing?
- Your Honor, can I-
- I'm thinking.
- Certainly, Your Honor.
I didn't mean to
imply, I just thought.
- I was buffering?
- Well.
- Maybe I was.
Okay, I thought about it.
Jean, can you get me
two envelopes, please?
- What, Judge?
- Envelopes, two.
- Okay.
- What's going on?
- Relax, relax.
- I broke my nail.
- Jean!
- You got any glue?
- Uh, no, what is
this, kindergarten?
- I have a project, yes.
- Ooh.
How's it going in there?
- As smooth as can be
expected, I suppose,
but I'm being sent
to get envelopes.
- Envelopes, why?
- Judge Johnson is flying away,
just left of center today.
- Well, she and Graves
must be sipping out
the same cup, 'cause
he's on one, too.
- Really?
Maybe we need to be
sipping out the cup.
- Now you're talking.
- Well, thank you.
- I need two envelopes.
Don't ask me because
I don't know.
- Okay, and what
can I do for you?
- I need to schedule
a housing docket
at someone's house.
- What?
- It's Ms. Felix.
Graves wants to direct
the repairs in person.
- If it gets her
out of our hair,
I will figure it out.
Tell him I'll put
some orders together.
- Okay, good luck with whatever
you got going on over there.
- Same to you.
- Thank you, Jean.
- You're welcome.
- Now, don't go
anywhere, please.
Hand this to Prosecutor Meeks
and this to Mr. Bale.
Now, I've come to a verdict,
which I've put in
a piece of paper
and put in those envelopes,
which Jean has just
handed to counsel.
Uh, excuse me, Mr.
Prosecutor, do not open that
until I say.
Thank you.
Now, I did that because
I want you to know
that what I'm about to do
does not affect the verdict.
- Well, I want my verdict.
You can do whatever else
you want after that.
- I could.
But then I'll lose everybody
and I don't want that.
- Quiet!
- What is this?
- A courtroom,
mine, have a seat.
Thank you, Mr. Talid.
Now, I'm gonna ask all
of you the same question.
- I'd like to talk
to Detective Edwards.
- So, let me summarize
what we've just learned.
In response to what you saw
as a young boy's
failure to respect you
while inquiring
about a cinnabun,
you lobbed a rolling pin
in his direction, correct?
That was a question.
- Yes, but-
- And, you, Jalisa,
do you let your kids
come at your crooked?
So, what did Jovan
call Mr. Talid?
- A desert rate.
- The whole thing.
- A motherfucker falafel
eating desert rate.
- Oh.
So, a 12-year-old comes
at you and calls you a fried
chicken eatin' N-I-G-G-A,
what you gonna do, hmm?
Not that it was right and okay
for you to lob that rolling pin.
But you came in there swinging
and you brought who with you?
- Jordan and Gerard.
- Knowing full well that
Jordan is on probation.
As soon as last week's
conviction makes it
through the system,
they gonna violate you.
How long is your tail, Jordan?
- It's a year.
- So you about to do a year
because a 12-year-old
child, your son,
decided that he wanted
to call this man a name
and all the adults lost
their frickin' minds.
And, you, Fatima,
talkin' about some,
oh, Black people can't
control themselves.
Did you or did you
not smack Jalisa,
even when the police were
standing right there?
- I have the right
to defend myself.
- The police were already there.
That wasn't self-defense.
That was you just being mad.
Jean.
Thank you, Jean.
- You're welcome.
- The whole point of
this entire exercise is
to make you feel as foolish
as you look, all of you.
Now, for three weeks,
you have been exchanging
racial epitaphs,
vandalizing property
and I get it.
This nonsense didn't
occur inside of a vacuum.
Most everyone believes
that it's inevitable that
things like this will occur
when you have two
competing cultures
within close proximity.
But here's the thing.
History is destined
to repeat itself
if we do not make a
conscious decision
to do better.
- This doesn't fix anything.
- Sit your foul ass down
before I make change.
This fixes nothing
because you are committed
to the proposition
of leaving here
and doing the exact same thing.
All of you are wrong.
Don't you see that?
Do you not see it, Fatima?
Nod yes, 'cause I ain't
taking any other answer.
Now, you can fight
amongst yourselves
if you want to and feed
the corrections
corporations of America,
but just remember this.
You are Black and you are Brown.
You'll be the first to go
and you stay the longest.
Or, you can figure out a way
to do business together.
Get money.
Establish generational wealth.
Whatever it is, get
past your feelings
and move on to what's important.
You keep this up
and you will go to jail.
Know that.
And when you do,
I want you to envision this.
What's this Jordan?
- It's a cinnamon roll.
- Jalisa, your son
wanted to buy one.
You wanted to sell it to him.
But because, oh, somebody
called somebody a name,
you got seven people now
with criminal records,
spent thousands now
on attorney fees
and Jordan might
be doing a year.
For this.
So,
I find you guilty.
$250 fine.
30 days suspended.
Same probation conditions
as everybody else.
Which, if you ask me
is coupe de grace.
Anybody read their
probation conditions?
- We have to come
here every week?
- See, now you can
all come together
and hate me.
Just know this.
I am going to keep it up
until I am satisfied
that you all
are no longer keeping it up.
- What just happened.
- Ooh.
Shit.
Goddamn.
- nigga, I smell
your stinkin' ass
all the way in the room.
- You ate the same
sandwich as me.
Give it 20 minutes.
You gonna take the
same shit, watch.
- Hey, Michael.
I know you hear me, man.
Look, man, I appreciate
the sandwich and all,
but you really gotta get
the fuck up outta here.
- You sound parched.
You need a drink.
Don't worry about it.
I know where the cups are.
- Come on.
- Okay, okay.
Cheers.
No cheers.
Okay, mm.
- So how often do you do this?
I mean, you in here
like this your spot.
- All the time.
Well, I mean, nigga, you
know where I live, bruh.
Can you blame me?
- Richard to be trippin'
like a motherfucker.
- Man, it's not even him.
I mean, don't get me wrong like,
he be going on his little trips,
get mad as hell,
start runnin' around,
blowin' smoke for
about an hour or two,
but shit, one time, look,
don't tell Mom, all right, but-
- nigga, you 28, talkin'
about don't tell Mom.
- As I was sayin', aight,
you know that situation
that got you locked up?
Yeah, yeah, that one.
Ever since then, I've had
to keep me a little
stash of Johnny Black
on the low for him, you
know what I'm sayin'?
Give him a little sip of that,
shit, he drink his self quiet.
- Don't he got a bad liver?
- Mm, yeah, that's why
I said don't tell Mom.
- nigga, that's your pops.
- Okay, and, do not try
to romanticize fatherhood
just 'cause you ain't
got no daddy, aight.
- So, let me get this straight.
You over there
poisoning your father
to keep hi quiet,
then why are you here?
- Look, it's not him.
It's the women.
Aight, I got Mom
in one ear barking
about me having this
bitch up in the house
and why I ain't got
no fuckin' 9 to 5.
Then I got Tenisha
in this year barking
about the shut that
bitch the fuck up
and why we need money.
A nigga just wanna, hoo.
- Damn.
That's crazy.
So, a guy over there
completely out of his mind,
and he easier to talk
to than the women.
- Right.
- Look, man, I feel you and
all, but this right here
ain't gonna fly.
- You sure about that?
- nigga, what you mean?
You know your homie,
Tamar, like to gossip
like a little bitch, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know your little sweet thing
at the High Bar, mm-hmm.
I know all about it.
Oh, and what's the other one,
the little redhead chick,
what's her name, Gina?
Gina or some shit, Gina
with the big titties.
Whoo, boy, you are
crazy for that one.
I ain't gonna lie.
I was hatin' on you for
a little bit on that one.
I was hatin' just a little bit.
But listen, bruh.
If you think you can
be runnin' around doing
all this dirt and my
sister not feel nothin',
you trippin', okay?
All I gotta do is, you know,
bring up a little fact
that, you know, you
be over here showering
throughout the
days gettin' fresh,
add a little High Bar
incident in there.
Shit, your life's starting
to sound a little bit fucked
up like mine, ain't it?
- Well, you just
about bitch enough
to do it, ain't you?
- Ah, bitch or clever.
Look, how about this.
I'll make a deal with you, okay?
Anytime I wanna come
over here and hang out,
I'll give you a ring.
Make sure you not
over here washing off
any evidence or anything
like that, okay, how's that.
Hey, man, lighten up.
Don't be so uptight, okay?
'Cause you know that
key you took from me,
that's the key to
peace for both of us.
Hey, we still got
tacos in the fridge?
'Cause I been meaning
to get back to them.
They been waitin' for me.
- So, what I realized
in that moment is
that yes, Graves is right.
Everything can be
solved with a candy bar.
And who would've known
and that is classic
Howard Graves.
So, what I realized is
that Graves' candy bars
that he always carries
around munching on
is actually a metaphor
for his kindness
and his sweetness
and that is classic
Howard Graves.
Sharp, funny, irreverent,
incorrigible
and oh, my God, I'm sorry.
I just cannot.
Whoo, better than sex.
Ladies, okay, so then
that tells me one
of two things.
Ladies, either we need to
start buying better shoes
or fellows, y'all need to
step y'all game up [laughs].
But in all seriousness,
Howard Graves everyone.
I love you.
- I love you, more.
- You in trouble now.
- That was wonderful, sis.
You were talking about stuff
I had forgotten about years ago.
And when you string out
the stuff like that the way
you did, I'm impressive.
- You certainly are.
Let me brush your
shoulders off for you.
- All right, thank you.
- Oh, my God, I can't believe
that they're back together.
She burned down his house.
- Some men are drawn to fire.
That may be the smartest
thing she ever did.
- Well done, Jay.
- Thank you.
- Very, very well done.
Our girl did a great
job tonight, didn't she?
- Well, first off, she's
not a girl, she's a queen.
- That's just an expression.
Like, you know, better than sex,
that was also an expression
and I'm sure not a
commentary on your abilities.
- If y'all don't
put your dicks away.
- You should listen to your man.
He's giving you
some good advice.
- It's just, it's just a joke.
- Well, it wasn't funny.
- At all.
- My apologies, ladies.
Shall we get to work and mingle.
We have some votes to secure.
- Hey, hey, look at me.
- Oh, I know what
you're trying to do.
And there's no way in
hell she's joining us.
- Well, certainly not.
She's not the type to do that.
- Unlike me?
- Well.
- You don't really think
she's gonna want you
when she has that.
- You know what I can
get a woman to do.
- If you think I'm
just gonna sit back
and watch you work her,
you have another thing coming.
- Hypothetically
speaking, what the fuck
could you do about it if I did?
- You of all people should know
what I'm capable of.
- Denise, I do believe you and I
are in for some
interesting times.
- I ain't gonna lie.
You were amazing.
- It felt good.
- And all that worrying you did.
- For nothing, right?
No.
It makes all the sense
in the world now,
but when I'm in
the middle of it.
- Mm-hmm.
You be wilin'.
- Mm, yeah.
- But let me get
to the other side.
So what's cool?
- We're good, right?
- Yep.
Just wait till I get you home
and I'm a show you
how good we are, mm.
- That's what I like.
- What one you like?
- Did I say that out loud?
- How is it that you can't tell
the difference between
thinking something
and saying it out loud?
You better watch that.
Could get you in trouble.
- Who you tellin'?
Too soon?
- Much.
Why don't you tell
me a story instead.
- All right, what do you
wanna hear a story about?
- Tell me about that bitch
that doesn't do her man right.
- Oh, my God.
She's just been terribly
like bad.
- Bad?
- Yes.
Egregiously even.
- What did she do this time?
- She did a whole lot wrong.
- She did?
- Yes.
She misjudged him.
- Terrible thing
for a judge to do.
- Terrible.
- So what did she say?
- The High Bar?
- That's a bar.
- I know that.
But why is the High
Bar calling you?
- I have no idea.
- Then answer it.
- I'm driving.
- Then I'll answer it.
- Put it down.
You don't see me
looking to answer none
of your phone calls.
- That's because the
only people who call me
are work, my family and you.
I ain't doing shit wrong.
- Me either.
- But you too scared
to answer your phone?
- Here we go.
Another fucked up
night verse 200.
- Just tell me who it is.
- And that's the hook.
There.
It's over, happy?
- Ain't nothing over.
You have the number associated
with the name of a bar
that you do not own
and do not have business with.
That's a fucking female.
- I have a million
numbers and places
in that phone.
I don't know who it is
and why they calling.
- Okay, then why don't you
just fuckin' answer it?
Okay, so then you know what?
We can deduct at minimum
that there's at least one person
in your phone that
you're too fuckin' scared
to talk to in front of me.
- No, you can deduct,
induct, abduct,
reduct, duck, duck, goose,
what the fuck kind
of duck you wanna do,
but you got nothing.
- Oh, my God.
- Nothing.
- You is a cappin'
ass motherfucker.
- You know, you
shakin' a whole bunch
of fuckin' keys full of crazy-
- Oh, wow.
- Stupid at me and not
one of them open shit.
- Okay, so how about this.
What does the Jennifer
key open, hmm.
- How did you come up
with that out the blue?
- I didn't come up with
that shit out of the blue.
I been broke the code
to your fuckin' phone.
- nigga, broken code or nothing,
you didn't see shit
'cause it ain't shit to see.
- So then there's no
Jennifer in your phone?
- There was.
Like the rest of my customers.
- Wow.
So you're sitting
here telling me
that her number is not
in your phone right now.
- You tell me.
You the one that's
holding my phone.
- I'll tell you exactly.
Her number was in your phone,
but it's not there now
and the fucking High
Bar is in there.
And that's some new shit.
Oh, oh, looks like
she really wants
to get in contact with you, huh?
- Give me, give
me my fuckin' phone, man.
- No, no, who the fuck is this?
- Man, what the fuck.
- Darrell, Darrell, Darrell!
- Oh, shit.
♪ I heard 'em say
chivalry was dead ♪
♪ Uh-huh
♪ I could see it in your
eyes, you were scared ♪
♪ Uh-Huh
♪ 'Cause it ain't
nothing for you here ♪
♪ A lot of skeletons
in my closet there ♪
♪ Uh-Huh
♪ Baby destruction
is part of the plan ♪
♪ I'm your leader,
the infra domain ♪
♪ I'm a need my respect
in their veins ♪
♪ And if you get
offended, too bad ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm the high eater
♪ I'm the high eater, baby
♪ It's a dinner date, I'm a
eat solo, solo... ♪
- Get out of the store.
- You don't belong here.
Take your kids and
get out of the store.
Get out of the store,
you don't belong here.
- You put your hands
on my goddamn son.
- Let's go do it outside.
- That's not your
seed, that's my seed.
- Oh, we'll take it outside.
- Here are the cops, come here.
- You ever gonna stop,
you're gonna get
arrested right now.
- Don't touch my things.
- Stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
- What is the problem?
What's going on here?
- We are under attack.
They're looting and rioting.
- Who are they?
- The Blacks
all of the Blacks.
- Is this what y'all
called in as a riot?
- Yes!
- Stop, stop, stop.
- And I know you're
not taking me to jail
'cause this bitch
slapped my son.
- Her son is a thief.
- They're all thieves.
They come here
every day, stealing,
taking away from us
inch by inch by inch.
- Man, they fightin'
Jovan and he only 12.
- These people, they come
in here causing trouble.
- Oh, shut the fuck
up, motherfucker.
You are the one
that slapped my son.
- Look, look, how about this.
Everybody's fightin',
everybody's disorderly,
everybody's going to jail.
Sit down! Sit down!
- Man, I can't
believe this, man.
- Okay, I'm up, I'm up.
Oh, I'm up.
Okay, asshole.
Jesus?
- I live here, remember?
- I didn't know
that you were here.
- What I look like?
I know how night work on you.
I come home.
I ain't got no
curfew, but I pull up.
- What time did you get here?
- I don't know, mom, but
you were sound asleep.
- Darrell, if you come
in creeping at night,
then it's like you were not here
and I need you here
to get to sleep.
- I'm a grown man, Jay.
- What does that have to
do with me needing you?
You know if you'd trust me
more, we'd both feel better.
- Darrell, you didn't
even get in the bed.
How could you not
get in the bed?
- I went to sleep on
the couch last night.
You know you get when
you get restless in bed
and I ain't trying
to get my ass kicked.
- Darrell, they are coming at me
from every angle.
When I'm awake, it's
Ruth, it's mom, it's you.
When I'm asleep, it's Beth.
- But I'm right here.
- Sometimes.
- Okay.
So how about this?
No curfew, but I promise
to brave the field of battle
and hop in the bed no
matter how jacked up it is.
- Darrell, when
I'm going through
the thick of it,
can you just at least
please come home early.
Look, I don't need you to be
home at 6 p.m. for dinner,
but at least, come on,
just give me something.
Give me some touch by 10.
I'm not asking all the time.
Just when things are thick.
- But that's the thing.
Things are always thick for you.
Even when there's
no real problem,
you find something
to worry about.
Look, remember that time
you were convinced I
was trying to kill you?
- Oh.
- Because-
- Oh, yeah, yeah, whatever,
that was a tough month then.
Couch, huh?
- Come on.
Yeah.
Innocent until
proven guilty, right?
- I am sorry.
I didn't mean to treat you like-
- A liar.
But you did, yeah.
- It's just, my
head is just cloudy
and all the nightmares
are starting
to feel more and more
real and like I can't,
I can't figure out-
- What the fuck is this?
- It's protection.
I, maybe I've been
freaking out because
of these nightmares
and I just got that
totally in case.
- Yeah, but what
has that got to to
with you hiding a
knife in the couch?
I mean, if you need
protection, you can come to me.
- Darrell, you're not
even here at night.
I don't know if
somebody's gonna come
through that back door
or through the front door
or through the window.
- Have you been
taking your pills?
- Yes.
- As prescribed?
- Yes.
- Without liquor.
You dancing with the devil
all by yourself in your head.
- I hate when you call me crazy.
- I didn't call you crazy.
- In my head?
- All right, I'm sorry, Jay.
I didn't mean it.
It's just, I just
wanna make sure
you taking care of yourself.
- Who keeps calling you?
- It's work.
- Let me see the phone.
- Damn.
Why can't you just
trust a nigga?
- Because sometimes a
nigga can't be trusted.
- You trippin'.
Take this, put this for before
one of us kill ourselves.
Yo.
What's good?
Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.
- Lyin' ass motherfucker.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome, Judge.
- See you later.
- Morning, Judge.
- Morning, Barbara.
I assume you have
a plan for today.
- Indeed I do.
Ali is all anybody
can talk about.
- Hmm.
- The Arabs painting Black folk
as perpetual criminals.
- Then there's
Reverend Opportunity
in his ugly ass suits.
You would think a guy
ripping off his flock
would dress much better.
- Right?
Anywho, when I saw both
groups up in that hallway,
I went in there with
a couple of officers,
put then in neutral corners.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm not having another
bloody Monday in here.
Plus we got press coming.
We need some press.
Who's doing traffic court today?
- Judge Graves.
- Damn, that means
Spangler's doing housing.
Okay, this is what I need.
I need Spangler to take traffic
in Graves' courtroom and Graves
to take the housing
docket in your courtroom.
- You know neither one of
them is going to like that.
- If they bark-
- I know.
- Send them straight to you.
- Why the switch?
- You know how thick
traffic court is.
Spangler's so much faster.
Hey, with all Talid bracket,
have you had time to get ready
for Graves' dinner tonight?
- Yeah, I'll be ready.
I just gotta put
this to bed first.
- Every time things settle
down, something new happens.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
The Talids swear the Smiths
are pulling a Jessie.
- A Jessie?
- Yeah, you know.
The notes that the Smiths
found in front of their house?
Well, the Talids are saying
that the Smiths put
it there themselves
and are blaming them.
- Oh, dear Lord.
Okay.
Well, Judge, this is
where I drop you off.
Have a great day and I
will see you tonight.
- Yeah.
Hey, Jean, did you print out all
that Steele stuff
that I asked for?
- Yes, I did.
It's on your desk, I-
- Oh, here it is.
- Judge, why don't you
let me just clean off-
- No, no, because if
you move anything,
it'll confuse me.
- But you can't find
anything right now.
- Why don't you just let
me run things my way.
- Okay.
- Jean.
I'm sorry.
- So, how did she
become a judge?
Well, if you guys seen
her face, she's hot.
But hot doesn't mean competent.
And you want a competent judge
to handle a criminal
case, you know.
So, women voted for her
because she's one of them
and Black people
voted for her because
she's also one of them.
You know, she's already
killed one woman already
and now one of the
most explosive cases
that's rocked this
entire community has
been placed on her doorstep.
That's not a good thing
and I don't see
this playing well.
- Good morning, Judge.
- Barbara.
- Your 9 a.m. docket
is set and ready to go.
- And how are you
this morning, Barbara?
Rumor's still flying I see?
- Well, she did burn
down your house.
- It was
three weeks ago.
- Still interesting.
You're lucky, though.
This Ali thing has pushed
you out of the news cycle.
- Yeah, but everyone here-
- Can you blame them?
She's still calling.
- Indeed she is.
Have a good day.
Everybody.
- Howard what are you doing
in Spangler's chambers?
- Barbara's working
some logistic magic
and she put Ruth in
my room to do traffic
and I'm doing housing.
It appears that I
don't move as quickly
as she wants me to.
- Docket over already?
- No, I have them working
on some plea deals.
I've got about
another hour to go.
So, what's new with you?
- Nothing.
- You sure?
- I am.
- Have you contained
your situation?
- Working on it.
- According to the
clerk's office,
you need to work harder.
- They live for that nonsense.
- You haven't changed
your mind about pressing
charges, have you?
- Oh, hell, no.
Last thing I want is a
criminal case opening up
the doors to my love life.
Besides.
- You're not done
with her, are you?
You like that crazy shit.
- Hey, shh.
I like women who do
unexpected things.
- Leave Jay alone.
- I never said-
- You don't have to.
I got eyes on you.
Ruth, Ruth.
- How's my housing docket
going there, Howard?
- Business as usual.
Everybody's outraged
at the city danes
to make them keep
their houses up.
And how are my traffic
court citizens?
- Indignant as always.
Some days I like
the suspects better
than the citizens.
Traffic court is the worst.
- No argument there.
- And I've gotten stuck
there twice this week.
- You got a complaint, make it.
- I'm not complaining.
We all hate traffic court.
Just saying, I got
stuck twice this week.
- Because I'm too slow.
That's where you wanna
end that sentence, right?
- Okay, children,
let's to argue.
Things are what they are.
We're making this thing work
the best way we can.
Thank you.
I wish you wouldn't
work her up like that.
- You were standing right here.
She started it.
- Howard.
- Y'all too damn serious,
that's your problem.
Two, count 'em, two
years and I'm outta here.
♪ You're gonna miss
me when I'm gone ♪
- Damn.
- All rise.
- Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen.
- You may be seated.
- This is not the judge we had.
I want the judge we had.
- That judge just arraigned you.
Who you get after that
is luck of the draw.
- But she's one of them.
And a woman.
I want the judge we had.
- Excuse me, counsel,
can I help you?
- No, Your Honor.
- What do mean no?
She asked you if there's
something, tell her.
- Ali, I'm telling
you this won't work.
I apologize, Your Honor.
My client here is
concerned that, well-
- I'll be biased
'cause I'm black.
- My apologies, Your Honor.
- No need to apologize.
It's human nature to
treat your own better
than you would treat others
and, obviously, anyone
in Mr. Talid's position
would think that.
He's just bold enough to say it.
- So, you admit
you're prejudice.
- Well, that's the
thing, Mr. Talid.
We all are.
But no one wants to admit it.
But if you don't admit it,
then you adjust for it.
- So, we'll get the other judge.
- No, no.
- Don't worry.
I double check all of my actions
for the presence of bias.
Every single one.
- Your Honor, may I speak.
- No.
- But I'm Reverend Franks.
- I know who you are.
You are an observer
in open court
and that is a non-speaking role.
- Now what the fuck, bruh.
- Goddamn, boy, you
scared the shit out of me.
- Well, how you get in here?
- I thought everybody was out
running around doing shit.
Figured I'd be straight.
- Now, answer my question.
- Mom's key, bruh, she
got one from Jay, chill.
- The key.
- I just said it's Mommy's.
- Man, if you don't give me.
Mommy's key.
nigga, never again.
- Goddamn, killer, calm down.
You act like I'm here tryin'
to rob the place or somethin'.
- You, this ain't
happening, man.
- Bruh, come on,
bruh, can I just have
a place to hang out and
kick it for a little bit?
I'm tired of being
in that damn house.
Everybody crazy as shit
and you know how they are.
Mom's over there trippin',
dad doing what dad do best,
ha, ha, ha.
I just need a place to
chill, relax, watch some TV.
Is that okay?
Look, I got an extra sandwich
and everything for
you, you hungry?
- What kind?
- Bo's Bistro, the
roast beef special, too.
Here, bruh, I know you
want it, you hungry, here.
Huh.
- That don't make this
shit, cool, though, aight?
- Okay, D-Bo, I mean,
Darrell, my bad.
Thank you.
Oh, shit.
This nigga, you the one with
the African braided
blanket, bruh.
- Excuse me, Judge.
Hey, Judge.
- You gotta jostling him.
- Judge, can Alton
stand with me.
I've know his family
since he was a boy
and if my Chester was here,
you wouldn't be
doing this to me.
- Calm down there, Wheeler.
- Um, okay.
- Thank you.
- Weird assed.
- Oh, my Mrs. Felix,
we've been at this
for a while it seems.
- Judge, they trying to
put me outta my house.
- No one wanna put you out
of our house, Ms. Felix.
- Well, I don't know why
they can't let me be.
The house is mine.
I've been there 37
years, raised four kids
and my husband died there
and now they wanna put me out
'cause they don't
like how it looks.
If they don't like
what they see,
then they need to
stop coming over.
- Judge, this isn't just
a cosmetic complaint.
Can we throw the images up?
- I don't know how to do this.
Wheeler, come up here and
get these images up for me.
- I could call Spangler.
- Well, you were up here before,
so you know how to get here.
- Go Wheeler.
- I don't know nothing
about this technology here.
- What's Spangler's password.
How's that?
- Now, Ms. Felix.
We can't just let this go on.
- Got this old lady
here all by myself
and think you can terrorize me.
- Your husband?
- Yes.
- How long has he been gone?
- Five years.
- Tell you what, Ms.
Felix, how about this?
I won't let them do
anything till next week,
but the next time I'll
convene court at your house
so we could watch
what they do together.
- Judge, you can't-
- I can't what?
- Convene my court
where I please?
The power is vested in
me, not in this room.
- I don't know, Judge.
- You wanna get this done
or don't you, Mr. Druss.
- I, I do, but
procedurally, there's-
- Is my plan okay
with you, Ms. Felix?
- As long as you come.
- I'll be right there.
- Thank you.
- All right,
so we're done for today.
- With that, the defense
rests, Your Honor.
- What is she doing?
- Your Honor, can I-
- I'm thinking.
- Certainly, Your Honor.
I didn't mean to
imply, I just thought.
- I was buffering?
- Well.
- Maybe I was.
Okay, I thought about it.
Jean, can you get me
two envelopes, please?
- What, Judge?
- Envelopes, two.
- Okay.
- What's going on?
- Relax, relax.
- I broke my nail.
- Jean!
- You got any glue?
- Uh, no, what is
this, kindergarten?
- I have a project, yes.
- Ooh.
How's it going in there?
- As smooth as can be
expected, I suppose,
but I'm being sent
to get envelopes.
- Envelopes, why?
- Judge Johnson is flying away,
just left of center today.
- Well, she and Graves
must be sipping out
the same cup, 'cause
he's on one, too.
- Really?
Maybe we need to be
sipping out the cup.
- Now you're talking.
- Well, thank you.
- I need two envelopes.
Don't ask me because
I don't know.
- Okay, and what
can I do for you?
- I need to schedule
a housing docket
at someone's house.
- What?
- It's Ms. Felix.
Graves wants to direct
the repairs in person.
- If it gets her
out of our hair,
I will figure it out.
Tell him I'll put
some orders together.
- Okay, good luck with whatever
you got going on over there.
- Same to you.
- Thank you, Jean.
- You're welcome.
- Now, don't go
anywhere, please.
Hand this to Prosecutor Meeks
and this to Mr. Bale.
Now, I've come to a verdict,
which I've put in
a piece of paper
and put in those envelopes,
which Jean has just
handed to counsel.
Uh, excuse me, Mr.
Prosecutor, do not open that
until I say.
Thank you.
Now, I did that because
I want you to know
that what I'm about to do
does not affect the verdict.
- Well, I want my verdict.
You can do whatever else
you want after that.
- I could.
But then I'll lose everybody
and I don't want that.
- Quiet!
- What is this?
- A courtroom,
mine, have a seat.
Thank you, Mr. Talid.
Now, I'm gonna ask all
of you the same question.
- I'd like to talk
to Detective Edwards.
- So, let me summarize
what we've just learned.
In response to what you saw
as a young boy's
failure to respect you
while inquiring
about a cinnabun,
you lobbed a rolling pin
in his direction, correct?
That was a question.
- Yes, but-
- And, you, Jalisa,
do you let your kids
come at your crooked?
So, what did Jovan
call Mr. Talid?
- A desert rate.
- The whole thing.
- A motherfucker falafel
eating desert rate.
- Oh.
So, a 12-year-old comes
at you and calls you a fried
chicken eatin' N-I-G-G-A,
what you gonna do, hmm?
Not that it was right and okay
for you to lob that rolling pin.
But you came in there swinging
and you brought who with you?
- Jordan and Gerard.
- Knowing full well that
Jordan is on probation.
As soon as last week's
conviction makes it
through the system,
they gonna violate you.
How long is your tail, Jordan?
- It's a year.
- So you about to do a year
because a 12-year-old
child, your son,
decided that he wanted
to call this man a name
and all the adults lost
their frickin' minds.
And, you, Fatima,
talkin' about some,
oh, Black people can't
control themselves.
Did you or did you
not smack Jalisa,
even when the police were
standing right there?
- I have the right
to defend myself.
- The police were already there.
That wasn't self-defense.
That was you just being mad.
Jean.
Thank you, Jean.
- You're welcome.
- The whole point of
this entire exercise is
to make you feel as foolish
as you look, all of you.
Now, for three weeks,
you have been exchanging
racial epitaphs,
vandalizing property
and I get it.
This nonsense didn't
occur inside of a vacuum.
Most everyone believes
that it's inevitable that
things like this will occur
when you have two
competing cultures
within close proximity.
But here's the thing.
History is destined
to repeat itself
if we do not make a
conscious decision
to do better.
- This doesn't fix anything.
- Sit your foul ass down
before I make change.
This fixes nothing
because you are committed
to the proposition
of leaving here
and doing the exact same thing.
All of you are wrong.
Don't you see that?
Do you not see it, Fatima?
Nod yes, 'cause I ain't
taking any other answer.
Now, you can fight
amongst yourselves
if you want to and feed
the corrections
corporations of America,
but just remember this.
You are Black and you are Brown.
You'll be the first to go
and you stay the longest.
Or, you can figure out a way
to do business together.
Get money.
Establish generational wealth.
Whatever it is, get
past your feelings
and move on to what's important.
You keep this up
and you will go to jail.
Know that.
And when you do,
I want you to envision this.
What's this Jordan?
- It's a cinnamon roll.
- Jalisa, your son
wanted to buy one.
You wanted to sell it to him.
But because, oh, somebody
called somebody a name,
you got seven people now
with criminal records,
spent thousands now
on attorney fees
and Jordan might
be doing a year.
For this.
So,
I find you guilty.
$250 fine.
30 days suspended.
Same probation conditions
as everybody else.
Which, if you ask me
is coupe de grace.
Anybody read their
probation conditions?
- We have to come
here every week?
- See, now you can
all come together
and hate me.
Just know this.
I am going to keep it up
until I am satisfied
that you all
are no longer keeping it up.
- What just happened.
- Ooh.
Shit.
Goddamn.
- nigga, I smell
your stinkin' ass
all the way in the room.
- You ate the same
sandwich as me.
Give it 20 minutes.
You gonna take the
same shit, watch.
- Hey, Michael.
I know you hear me, man.
Look, man, I appreciate
the sandwich and all,
but you really gotta get
the fuck up outta here.
- You sound parched.
You need a drink.
Don't worry about it.
I know where the cups are.
- Come on.
- Okay, okay.
Cheers.
No cheers.
Okay, mm.
- So how often do you do this?
I mean, you in here
like this your spot.
- All the time.
Well, I mean, nigga, you
know where I live, bruh.
Can you blame me?
- Richard to be trippin'
like a motherfucker.
- Man, it's not even him.
I mean, don't get me wrong like,
he be going on his little trips,
get mad as hell,
start runnin' around,
blowin' smoke for
about an hour or two,
but shit, one time, look,
don't tell Mom, all right, but-
- nigga, you 28, talkin'
about don't tell Mom.
- As I was sayin', aight,
you know that situation
that got you locked up?
Yeah, yeah, that one.
Ever since then, I've had
to keep me a little
stash of Johnny Black
on the low for him, you
know what I'm sayin'?
Give him a little sip of that,
shit, he drink his self quiet.
- Don't he got a bad liver?
- Mm, yeah, that's why
I said don't tell Mom.
- nigga, that's your pops.
- Okay, and, do not try
to romanticize fatherhood
just 'cause you ain't
got no daddy, aight.
- So, let me get this straight.
You over there
poisoning your father
to keep hi quiet,
then why are you here?
- Look, it's not him.
It's the women.
Aight, I got Mom
in one ear barking
about me having this
bitch up in the house
and why I ain't got
no fuckin' 9 to 5.
Then I got Tenisha
in this year barking
about the shut that
bitch the fuck up
and why we need money.
A nigga just wanna, hoo.
- Damn.
That's crazy.
So, a guy over there
completely out of his mind,
and he easier to talk
to than the women.
- Right.
- Look, man, I feel you and
all, but this right here
ain't gonna fly.
- You sure about that?
- nigga, what you mean?
You know your homie,
Tamar, like to gossip
like a little bitch, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know your little sweet thing
at the High Bar, mm-hmm.
I know all about it.
Oh, and what's the other one,
the little redhead chick,
what's her name, Gina?
Gina or some shit, Gina
with the big titties.
Whoo, boy, you are
crazy for that one.
I ain't gonna lie.
I was hatin' on you for
a little bit on that one.
I was hatin' just a little bit.
But listen, bruh.
If you think you can
be runnin' around doing
all this dirt and my
sister not feel nothin',
you trippin', okay?
All I gotta do is, you know,
bring up a little fact
that, you know, you
be over here showering
throughout the
days gettin' fresh,
add a little High Bar
incident in there.
Shit, your life's starting
to sound a little bit fucked
up like mine, ain't it?
- Well, you just
about bitch enough
to do it, ain't you?
- Ah, bitch or clever.
Look, how about this.
I'll make a deal with you, okay?
Anytime I wanna come
over here and hang out,
I'll give you a ring.
Make sure you not
over here washing off
any evidence or anything
like that, okay, how's that.
Hey, man, lighten up.
Don't be so uptight, okay?
'Cause you know that
key you took from me,
that's the key to
peace for both of us.
Hey, we still got
tacos in the fridge?
'Cause I been meaning
to get back to them.
They been waitin' for me.
- So, what I realized
in that moment is
that yes, Graves is right.
Everything can be
solved with a candy bar.
And who would've known
and that is classic
Howard Graves.
So, what I realized is
that Graves' candy bars
that he always carries
around munching on
is actually a metaphor
for his kindness
and his sweetness
and that is classic
Howard Graves.
Sharp, funny, irreverent,
incorrigible
and oh, my God, I'm sorry.
I just cannot.
Whoo, better than sex.
Ladies, okay, so then
that tells me one
of two things.
Ladies, either we need to
start buying better shoes
or fellows, y'all need to
step y'all game up [laughs].
But in all seriousness,
Howard Graves everyone.
I love you.
- I love you, more.
- You in trouble now.
- That was wonderful, sis.
You were talking about stuff
I had forgotten about years ago.
And when you string out
the stuff like that the way
you did, I'm impressive.
- You certainly are.
Let me brush your
shoulders off for you.
- All right, thank you.
- Oh, my God, I can't believe
that they're back together.
She burned down his house.
- Some men are drawn to fire.
That may be the smartest
thing she ever did.
- Well done, Jay.
- Thank you.
- Very, very well done.
Our girl did a great
job tonight, didn't she?
- Well, first off, she's
not a girl, she's a queen.
- That's just an expression.
Like, you know, better than sex,
that was also an expression
and I'm sure not a
commentary on your abilities.
- If y'all don't
put your dicks away.
- You should listen to your man.
He's giving you
some good advice.
- It's just, it's just a joke.
- Well, it wasn't funny.
- At all.
- My apologies, ladies.
Shall we get to work and mingle.
We have some votes to secure.
- Hey, hey, look at me.
- Oh, I know what
you're trying to do.
And there's no way in
hell she's joining us.
- Well, certainly not.
She's not the type to do that.
- Unlike me?
- Well.
- You don't really think
she's gonna want you
when she has that.
- You know what I can
get a woman to do.
- If you think I'm
just gonna sit back
and watch you work her,
you have another thing coming.
- Hypothetically
speaking, what the fuck
could you do about it if I did?
- You of all people should know
what I'm capable of.
- Denise, I do believe you and I
are in for some
interesting times.
- I ain't gonna lie.
You were amazing.
- It felt good.
- And all that worrying you did.
- For nothing, right?
No.
It makes all the sense
in the world now,
but when I'm in
the middle of it.
- Mm-hmm.
You be wilin'.
- Mm, yeah.
- But let me get
to the other side.
So what's cool?
- We're good, right?
- Yep.
Just wait till I get you home
and I'm a show you
how good we are, mm.
- That's what I like.
- What one you like?
- Did I say that out loud?
- How is it that you can't tell
the difference between
thinking something
and saying it out loud?
You better watch that.
Could get you in trouble.
- Who you tellin'?
Too soon?
- Much.
Why don't you tell
me a story instead.
- All right, what do you
wanna hear a story about?
- Tell me about that bitch
that doesn't do her man right.
- Oh, my God.
She's just been terribly
like bad.
- Bad?
- Yes.
Egregiously even.
- What did she do this time?
- She did a whole lot wrong.
- She did?
- Yes.
She misjudged him.
- Terrible thing
for a judge to do.
- Terrible.
- So what did she say?
- The High Bar?
- That's a bar.
- I know that.
But why is the High
Bar calling you?
- I have no idea.
- Then answer it.
- I'm driving.
- Then I'll answer it.
- Put it down.
You don't see me
looking to answer none
of your phone calls.
- That's because the
only people who call me
are work, my family and you.
I ain't doing shit wrong.
- Me either.
- But you too scared
to answer your phone?
- Here we go.
Another fucked up
night verse 200.
- Just tell me who it is.
- And that's the hook.
There.
It's over, happy?
- Ain't nothing over.
You have the number associated
with the name of a bar
that you do not own
and do not have business with.
That's a fucking female.
- I have a million
numbers and places
in that phone.
I don't know who it is
and why they calling.
- Okay, then why don't you
just fuckin' answer it?
Okay, so then you know what?
We can deduct at minimum
that there's at least one person
in your phone that
you're too fuckin' scared
to talk to in front of me.
- No, you can deduct,
induct, abduct,
reduct, duck, duck, goose,
what the fuck kind
of duck you wanna do,
but you got nothing.
- Oh, my God.
- Nothing.
- You is a cappin'
ass motherfucker.
- You know, you
shakin' a whole bunch
of fuckin' keys full of crazy-
- Oh, wow.
- Stupid at me and not
one of them open shit.
- Okay, so how about this.
What does the Jennifer
key open, hmm.
- How did you come up
with that out the blue?
- I didn't come up with
that shit out of the blue.
I been broke the code
to your fuckin' phone.
- nigga, broken code or nothing,
you didn't see shit
'cause it ain't shit to see.
- So then there's no
Jennifer in your phone?
- There was.
Like the rest of my customers.
- Wow.
So you're sitting
here telling me
that her number is not
in your phone right now.
- You tell me.
You the one that's
holding my phone.
- I'll tell you exactly.
Her number was in your phone,
but it's not there now
and the fucking High
Bar is in there.
And that's some new shit.
Oh, oh, looks like
she really wants
to get in contact with you, huh?
- Give me, give
me my fuckin' phone, man.
- No, no, who the fuck is this?
- Man, what the fuck.
- Darrell, Darrell, Darrell!
- Oh, shit.
♪ I heard 'em say
chivalry was dead ♪
♪ Uh-huh
♪ I could see it in your
eyes, you were scared ♪
♪ Uh-Huh
♪ 'Cause it ain't
nothing for you here ♪
♪ A lot of skeletons
in my closet there ♪
♪ Uh-Huh
♪ Baby destruction
is part of the plan ♪
♪ I'm your leader,
the infra domain ♪
♪ I'm a need my respect
in their veins ♪
♪ And if you get
offended, too bad ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm the high eater
♪ I'm the high eater, baby
♪ It's a dinner date, I'm a
eat solo, solo... ♪