Judge Me Not (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Fire In The Hole - full transcript
- What?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, what the hell you doing?
- Waiting on y'all.
- This is the dumbest
I've ever seen.
- You're right outside
of a police station.
What'd you think would happen?
- I know exactly
what's gonna happen.
- Wait, you one of
those police auditors
trying to drag us
into some shit?
- Nah, man.
Ah, easy.
Easy with the pushing
and the pulling,
I ain't resisting.
- Exactly. This is an
arrest, not a slow down.
- I know exactly what it
is, I've been waiting on it.
- So you looking to go to jail?
- Ain't a lot of wattage
in your light bulb, is it?
- Yeah, well you are the
fool who's going to jail.
- For what?
What are y'all charging me for?
- Vandalism.
- Damn.
- What are you doing now?
- Now I'm resisting arrest.
- Get your ass up.
- God, easy!
What about my spray paint?
- Okay, so you fold like this.
Now put the tape on there.
Good.
- Yvonne, where you at?
Hate all this
materialistic Christmas.
Everybody just uses me.
- Let's go.
- Let's just wait a
minute, he might stop.
- Where are you, Yvonne?
- He won't,
this one's too fast
in the beginning.
These ones don't stop.
Let's just go.
- Open the door, Yvonne.
I said open the door, Yvonne.
Don't play with me.
Yvonne, I know what you're
doing, don't play with me.
- Ah!
Where are you?
Jay!
- Shh!
You're not gonna
- You okay?
gimme nothing.
- Come on!
- Where are you?
- Yvonne!
Jay!
I told you not to play with me.
Jay!
Where are you Yvonne?
- Oh my God!
Jay !
- I got you.
It's okay, it's okay.
It's okay.
- Falling.
- You ever think
about buying a ladder?
Come here.
♪♪♪
♪ All I see is blessings
♪ Got no time for stressin'
♪ Don't believe there's failure
in my life ♪
♪ It's only lessons
♪ They just make me♪
♪ I don't got a clue but I know
♪ But I know the one who does
knows how, oh wow ♪
♪ It's like I'm winnin' the game
with the maker ♪
♪I already know now
♪ As soon as I got your name♪
♪ We're gonna be alright
♪ We gon' make it through if it
takes us all night ♪
♪ No matter what they all think,
we are great ♪
- Babe.
- So, huh?
Are we good?
- I thought it was good.
- Not that, I meant you and me.
- I know what you meant.
And yeah, we good.
- No we're not, I can tell.
- You did serve me
up to the police.
- And Allen reduced the charges.
No time, no crime.
- That's the least you can do,
after you got me arrested.
And quarters with him?
Now you owe that
asshole a favor.
- I didn't ask him
to do me a solid.
- That don't
mean you don't owe him.
I don't like that
motherfucker anyway.
Every time I'm in a
room with you two,
dude stares at you
like you lunch.
I mean, I get it,
any man would look
but that motherfucker
makes sure I see him.
That's the thing, he
fucks with me about you.
- First, thank you.
- It is what it is.
- Second.
- And here's where we go left.
- Really, nigga?
Him looking at me is about you?
Bro, there you go.
There you can see
that thing from space.
- Mm-hmm?
- Mm.
- You see it?
- Mm, I see it
- 'Cause you sleep with it.
- Oh!
- Turn down two
lawyers to be with it.
- Whatever.
- Don't pretend like
you don't understand it.
- Indeed.
- Mm-hmm
- But still, all
I'd like to know,
I'd like to be you,
just for a day.
To know what it feels like to
truly believe that nothing,
and I mean not shit.
Can touch me.
- Fuck all that.
You hear what I
said about Allen?
- I did.
- Watch him.
- So we're good, right?
- Yeah, I keep telling you that.
- Anything going on over there
that I need to know about?
- No.
- I want to see.
See? It's not the
iPhone, it's the wePhone.
- Mm-hmm.
Mm.
We can do something else,
- You know what I'm saying?
Then look at my phone.
You are not in any position
to ask a nigga no questions.
Got me cuffed up and sitting
in the back of the
squad car and all.
- How many different ways
can I say that, I'm sorry?
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- That's a start.
- I've been doing
the food thing.
- That's one.
- And I've been doing you,
- Mm-hmm.
till you can't even do anymore.
So what?
What?
So what? What's good?
What else do I have to do?
- I don't want to talk about
everything every other minute.
- So what?
We can't talk about
anything anymore.
- I didn't say that.
- Okay, so then what exactly
do you not wanna talk about?
- Whatever we talking
about right now,
I'm not sure what
it is, but this,
this is it.
- So this undetermined it.
I should just leave alone.
- Yeah, just leave it alone.
- So we're good, right?
- Yeah, just shut it down.
- Mm, so I should just shove
it in that drawer over there
next to your phone.
- You know I don't do half
the dirt you think I do?
- Oh, but how you
do that other half.
Whatever.
- You stay away.
Go away.
- Go go go go go.
Please, pick a side.
I don't need you here,
I don't need you here
and I don't want you here.
Morning, Jeff.
- Morning Judge.
- Y'all look cute.
- Morning ladies.
- Hey.
- Good morning, Officer.
- Judge, you wanna take
the morning motions?
- No, but I will.
- Thank you.
- Mm, I wish there was
a new new guy in town.
- And we would still
ask you to do them.
- Why y'all picking on me?
- Well, you
don't give us a hard time
and you get 'em back
to us the same day.
We wish you pulled them
offline like everybody else.
But we understand
you like paper.
- Oh, I know what
I'm going to do.
Start coming in here
with my stank face on.
- Please don't Judge.
- Hey Misha, how'd
that thing work out?
- Let's just say I got it done.
- All right.
All right, ladies.
- Thing?
- Mind your business, dang.
- What thing?
- You so nosy, all over
my Kool-Aid.
- I'm just trying
to get the tea.
- Always
trying to get the tea.
- Judge, what are you doing
with all these motions?
- Oh, I don't mind.
- That's not the point.
- So what do we have on
the docket for today?
Anything noteworthy?
- Well you successfully
dodged the Steel bullet.
- She filled suit again?
- No, he's being
arraigned on a DV charge.
- I thought the prosecutor
wasn't listening to her anymore?
- Word is she had visible
injuries this time.
- Really?
- Bound to happen,
she's relentless.
- How long have
they been regulars?
- Forever.
- Hmm.
You know I got the weirdest hit
on him when we were in trial?
- Weird hit?
- Yeah, he tries too hard
to manage his presentation
but he let it slip
and I caught him.
- Judge--
- You know what?
Pull their records for me,
both criminal and civil.
- For what?
Will do, Judge.
Judge Spangler is here.
- This will only take a minute.
- Hi
- Judge.
- Oh, have a seat Spangler.
- I thought long and hard
about coming in here.
You've been here six months
and in those six months
you did this.
57 pages of suggestions.
- Suggestions, Spangler.
That's the operative term.
- I don't care about
the logistical stuff.
It's that sentencing grid,
you're trying to affect the way
the rest of us rule.
That is not gonna fly.
- Don't you wanna know
how effective it is?
What we do?
I mean if we can track
our sentencing then
we can figure out
what works and
what doesn't work.
- Each judge has
the absolute right
to run their court
as they please.
- Oh, you're mad that
this charge shows
that you're an outlier.
Always giving the mask.
- Oh no, no, no.
Don't you ever.
- Be cool, be cockpit cool.
- I know what you're thinking.
Those degrees, they
don't mean a thing.
I have 15 years of experience.
I know people.
I know what they'll
do and how they work.
- Did you know that
I would do that?
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
You good, Ruth?
- You have no business here.
You don't have the
right temperament.
- The hell is going on in here?
- Ooh, can you pass
me a pen please?
It's right there.
- There's one right here.
- Thank you.
Appreciate you.
- Judge, you know what?
Maybe--
- I'm good Jean, thank you.
Asshole!
- Y'all wild man.
- I ain't mess y'all
niggas, man.
- It's great.
Hey, so, so let me
get this straight.
You and your woman about to
get it in, the phone rings.
You end up going over her
parents' house to stop a fight
and you get arrested?
- Yeah, pretty much it.
- Shit.
- Damn, ain't that a bitch?
- Isn't having a judge as your
woman supposed to help you?
I mean she has juice.
You should be tapping
that vein for a break man.
Not letting her
get you arrested.
- Facts.
- So I ain't gonna lie though,
I mean she's fine and all,
but some of the shit she does.
I don't understand that shit.
- You what?
Bro, you don't understand
women in general.
- At all.
- This nigga going on.
- Your last girl
look like me nigga.
- Okay, this nigga man.
- Her feet was big as hell too.
Didn't y'all wear
the same shoes?
Yeah, saving money on
shoes and all nigga.
What?
- Man, I don't know D.
- Bro, what you
don't know about?
She bad as hell, she
making good money,
and she putting up
with this ignorant ass
- That's a fact.
- Yeah she a little choppy
but she hold a nigga down.
I fuck with her.
- Look man, long as she
bringing that bag in,
I'm with it.
She used to bring that bag in.
Ain't that right?
- Bro, what you mean she's
still making six figures.
- I don't care about all that.
- You shitting me?
- She's like this puff of smoke.
You think you see her?
You think you have
her and then poof.
She shows up somewhere
different all together.
- This old Shakespeare
ass nigga man.
- Oh Romeo and
Juliet ass nigga.
- That's 'cause you ain't
got no bitches that's deep.
Or y'all ain't going in
deep, one or the other.
- You kidding me?
- He ain't talking about me.
- I'm for sure talking
about you but no cap,
I ain't even worried
about that arrest shit.
It's easier to tell
her that than...
- Than what?
- The shits that's really
kicking my ass, man.
- That's facts.
- Shit.
- Anyway fuck that shit.
You gotta get your
man some bitches
'cause he all up in my business
like it's his business.
- I'm sick of y'all niggas.
- I've been trying for the
last two, three years man.
- Damn.
- Two, three years.
But he always on that
IG shit, man I wanna
meet somebody in person.
- What's wrong with that?
- Come on, man.
- Why can't you holler
at somebody in person?
- Did we not talk about
y'all niggas mamas earlier.
♪ Talkin' of the 201
♪ Like we 'bout to play on
teams ♪
- As you know Mr.
Stevens is schizophrenic
and not currently
on any medications.
So I don't think
he's competent to--
- I've been charged
with vandalism,
a fourth degree misdemeanor,
which carries a 30-day
sentence and a $250 fine
and resisting, which maxes
out a six months and a grand.
I have the right to a trial
by jury should I want one.
And a free attorney.
- Prosecutor Nyx?
- Mr. Stevens went into
a police parking lot
and put a bat through a
window of one of the cruisers.
Then he sat down and
waited to be arrested.
At first, he complied,
but then right before they got
through the precinct's door
he sat down and refused to move.
- Looking to go in
and get right, huh?
- Yeah, they kicked me out.
I can't afford my meds and
they're, they're coming for me.
- Mr. Stevens, you may have
some mental health issues
but you make more
sense in the system
that was designed to help you.
I hereby sentence you to 30--
- Uh.
- 60 days.
- Yeah.
- We'll make that work.
- Oh, God.
- What are you doing?
- What is wrong with that boy?
- Man, this not as
dumb as it looks.
Can you believe people actually
making money doing that mess?
Mm.
- Oh so you don't know how
this platform run, do you?
- See what they do,
they mine their mind
and they give 'em what they want
and then they sell
it right back to 'em.
At the same time, they're
actually collecting
a whole lot of data and it,
it's actually kind
of, kind of genius.
And I wish I thought
of it myself.
- Richard, what the hell
are you talking about?
You expect me to
understand all that?
- Hell no.
Not you.
It's very unlikely.
- And I don't.
I thought we were going to be
eating healthy for lunch today?
- I'm not, but it's good though.
You should try it.
Open your mouth.
Open your mouth.
You run your mouth enough.
Damn, one time I asked
you to open your mouth,
other than last night,
and you won't open your mouth.
Good, ain't it?
- Mm.
- Mm-hm.
- It's alright.
- Your non-cooking ass.
- You not starving.
You know they can
make money out there.
- Hm?
$237,452.36.
You think they can make that?
- What?
- Yeah, I mean
after private school
and college and a business loan.
I know I'll never
see that money again.
- I know that's right.
- That's about how much
money I put into him
as he done bounced
back and forth from
one bad idea to another one.
- Well, some folks
making millions.
Why not him?
- What is in her butt to
make it move like that?
- You don't want to know.
- You need to talk to her.
Y'all need to bond.
You could use a couple
of cans of fix her flat
your damn self.
- I don't think so.
I'm good to go.
- Night, ooh Judge Graves.
- Hey you headed home?
- Yeah, I just wanted to
pop in and say goodnight.
- Oh, come on here
for a minute, sis.
- Mm, what up?
Where's Martin?
- He's out for a few minutes,
had to put out some fires.
Just sit here.
- I really gotta go home.
- Oh come on girl, you
can stay for a minute.
Have a drink with me.
- All right.
- So, uh, Rusty is going
after that man of yours huh?
Can't blame you.
You enjoy while you young and
everything's still working?
- Yeah, even though
he might not be there.
- Uh-oh, things,
uh, rocky at home?
- Let's just say Daryl
is having trouble
finding his way home these days.
That fucking phone.
- You, uh, go through it.
- I sure motherfucking did.
- And?
- No direct evidence,
but a fair amount of
circumstantial evidence.
- Enough to convict him?
- Can't say beyond
a reasonable doubt.
- Then that's that.
- So I shouldn't be worried?
I mean, you and I both
know guys like him.
- You married a guy
like him.
Can't be mad, you got
exactly what you picked.
- I'm just saying, I
just don't understand.
Why can't I have
my own man, hmm?
Why can't, why can't I,
why can't I just be enough?
I don't think that I'm ugly.
I actually think that
I look good, right?
- You do.
- TMI, but I give
him all the sex
that he asks for and good sex.
I mean, I'm just saying.
- Hmm.
But the thing is,
on top of that,
I pay all of the bills
and that shit actually
works against me.
- I hear you, sis.
But there's the law
of supply and demand
and cats like that
are always in demand.
They don't have to go
out looking for it,
it looks for them.
- Hey nah, but for real man,
we gotta get you a lady.
- I'm sick of y'all niggas.
- What, a side?
- Set it up then.
- Oh!
- What?
- What's going on Jen?
- Hey.
- There she is.
There she is.
- Looking good.
There she is.
- Thank you, how're you?
Yo Drake, let's jump?
No, definitely you
can have my seat too.
- Hey D, tell Jay I say hey.
- Will do.
- Still here, Trip.
- That's your boy,
- Man, hold on real quick.
- nigga.
- So how you been?
- I've been good, how are you?
- Good.
- Come on, nigga you know
I gotta go pick up Sheila.
- Bigfoot can walk
her ass to the house.
- Don't do her like that.
And you know that shit
wasn't unnecessary.
- Bro, hell if it wasn't.
- He could have him both.
All right, Jay not gonna
leave him and neither is she.
- Bro you sure about Jay though?
- She ain't left him yet.
- And you know Daryl
gets his dirt in.
- Bro, Jay is the best
thing to happen to Daryl.
All right he crazy
if he fucks this up
over little piece
of random pussy.
- Out of his damn mind.
- Out of his damn mind.
- Hold on real quick.
- nigga, come on.
- What?
nigga damn.
- Damn.
Bigfoot my ass.
- They about to get it in.
- What brings you by?
- I was just wanting to see you.
- Well here I am.
- I thought maybe we
could go to the high bar
you bought last time and I was
wanting to return the favor.
- I can't meet you there again.
- Why not?
- You know my situation.
Don't pretend like you don't.
- But it's not like
you're married.
- That doesn't mean that's
not my wifey, 'cause she is.
- Well then why are
you here with me?
- I'm at work.
The question you
gotta ask yourself is,
why are you here with me?
- I don't know.
- Yeah you do.
- I thought you liked me.
- I do.
- Then what's the problem?
- The problem is, you
don't know your role.
- My role?
- Yeah, your role.
- Teach me.
- And it was quite as kept uh,
now you know I love you sis.
You probably not the
easiest person to live with.
That dude had to take
a charge for you.
If you looking for fair, you
landed at the wrong universe.
- I ain't even looking for
fair, I just wanna feel safe.
Is that too much
to ask for Graves?
- Relationships are complicated,
but I'm going to bet that
if it came down to it,
he'd take a bullet for you.
Am I right?
- You already
started without me?
- Come on in, it's your liquor.
- And what are we talking about?
- Oh, nothing important.
Um, anything interesting?
Single woman, living
alone, oh poor thing.
Wonder if she felt safe
when someone was
breaking into her home.
- Here you go.
You need to eat.
I'm sorry about the
little accident.
- You hit me.
- No I didn't.
Judge Allen said so.
- You hit me!
- Lily, please.
You can't prove anything,
then it never happened.
- They don't know everything,
except for that Spangler.
She doesn't like you.
If I only I could
get her back again.
- Hey.
I will rejoice in the chance
to match ways with you
and any woman you choose.
- You're turning into Frank.
- Is that supposed
to be an insult?
You don't get what Frank
understood, but you will.
And the quiet woman will shine
bright and be taken care of.
Those who seek attention,
subvert the will of God and
will face repercussions.
Chapter five, verse nine.
- That's not in the Bible.
- God never stopped.
Why would he?
His word still reigns
down from heaven.
Only, it's a word
no woman can hear.
I'm gonna be down in
the basement working.
You get some rest.
Stay away from the door.
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
- Why?
- Why, what?
- Well, why here?
You had to take a huge pay cut.
Firms like Anderson & Elliot.
They won't even look
at Howard or me.
- This is where safe is.
- Well that you have to explain.
- My family looks good on paper.
Two parents, dad's an engineer,
my mother's a stay at
home, brother and sister.
Perfect little nuclear family.
But as my grandmother
used to say,
whatever God gives
you on one side,
he shows you on the other.
So, one day, my father
grabbed my mother
and put her through a window.
- Oh.
- That was the first time
that I ever came here.
So I remember that judge,
Judge McClellan in that
robe, on that bench.
He protected us that night.
Made sure my daddy
didn't come home.
- Well what do we have here?
- Just decompressing
after a long day.
Come on in and join us?
- No, I don't think
so, not tonight.
- Day's over, court's close.
Come on, Spangler.
- Ruth, I'm sorry
about this morning.
I should not have
gotten upset with you.
I'm not trying to hurt
you, it's just that--
- We said what we needed
to say to one another.
I'll bid you all good night.
- I bid you all a good night.
What happened this morning?
- Yeah?
- I made 57
suggestions too many.
- You do forward a
whole lot of emails.
- I mean, well why
not just share?
I mean, I don't know.
I have an idea and I
just throw it out there.
Share.
- Lester loves it.
She says you have a
gift for logistics.
- Thank you.
She's never gonna
like me, is she?
- Oh yeah, I, um, never, no.
- No, never.
- Now, now it'll
all be over soon.
Let's get you dressed.
Let's see how these look on you.
No, no more of that.
Now these
are from the Snyder era.
He was here the
longest, eight years.
Personally I prefer
the one night stands
You're a mother.
You have Jordan
and Tensley, right?
Don't you think
it's important to
provide them with a
safe, secure environment?
You understand.
- Ah, the morning after blouse.
Every time she came
out with this rob on,
I knew there was a
guy in the house.
Yeah, I know, I know.
It's old fashioned.
Now I'm gonna get
these developed
and I'm gonna let
you look at them,
and then you decide if
you want to look at them.
We'll go from there.
You know, it's not that I think
all women are irredeemable.
I just haven't met any who
feel the need to be redeemed.
- One more for the road!
- No, no, no, no, no.
I'm already one too
many for the road.
I have to call an Uber.
- Oh, can't do that.
- What do you mean,
I can't drive.
- Drunk in the back
of an Uber Judge?
Not a good look.
Call Daryl.
- Yeah that'll
help my situation.
- Call him.
Just tell him you
need to be rescued.
- What I need to
do is to go to bed without,
um--
- Look at those shoes.
Stop, stop.
What I need to do is go to
bed without hearing about
how much trouble I am.
That's what I need.
- Yeah, no worries.
I can take you home.
- What's that look for, Howard?
You can't believe
the rumors can you?
- I don't know from rumors.
I know you.
- No, no, no.
You know the rumors.
- I've got my eyes on you.
- Okay, okay.
- Yeah, you let
me take your home.
- No, that's just dumb 'cause
you live 10 minutes that way.
And I live 10 minutes this way.
He lives 10 minutes
this way too.
Which is you're practically
right around the corner from me.
- Yeah, Howard, this is dumb.
I live 10 minutes that way
and, and 10 minutes, and uh,
I'm gonna get my coat.
Yeah.
- Get this.
You watch out for him.
- Allen?
Please, what's he gonna do?
- You are two sheets
to the wind, sis.
- Graves, I've been
doing me my entire life.
I know how this works.
- Ciao.
- Goodnight.
- I'll see ya girl.
Call me when you get home.
- Found it.
- I shall.
- Come on.
- Y'all drive careful now.
- You get home safely too.
- There's only one
way to drive, come on.
- There we go.
- Oh,
- Mm-hmm.
- I never took you
for that kind of guy.
- Guy who likes good music?
- Ooh hey, whoa.
Never touched the hair.
- Okay.
What did you mean when you said
that'll help your situation?
Is there a situation
between you and Daryl?
- No idea what
you're talking about.
- So that's just
between you and Graves.
Is it a black thing?
- No, it's a none of
your damn business thing.
You wanna talk, talk about
your own relationship.
- Well, as an act of good
faith, I'll say this.
I've had some less
than cinematic endings
to a few relationships
and that's all.
- Explain.
- I want what I want
and I never lie.
- But.
- But, they never believe me.
- And?
- And nothing.
They always get mad about it.
- Hmm.
- Well don't you want to know?
- Know what?
- What I like.
- You can do one of two things.
You can take your
hand off of my leg
or you can get your
story together.
- My story?
- Mm-hmm, the story you
gotta tell everybody tomorrow
when they figure out you
only got four fingers
instead of five on that hand.
- Did I, uh, misread you?
- You misunderstood me.
- How so?
- I'm neither
impressed nor in need.
- Which means what?
- You're an elegant creeper.
You present perfectly.
Handsome, powerful.
You want women to want you
but not in a way
that ties you up.
So you tell 'em upfront that
there's no future in this
even though you
act like there is.
So you let the feeling of a
commitment creep up on them.
And then you can always go back
to that declarative sentence
that you said in the beginning
that keeps them at bay.
- May I ask how you
came by that analysis?
- You address how people
feel when you sentence them.
- Okay, how does that
translate to my love life?
- Men tend to hone their
most effective skills
when trying to bag women.
You got status and you
look good for a white dude.
- Which means?
- Hmm?
Your current girlfriend's
name is Denise, right?
- You met her at the
Bar Association dinner.
Did you two have a
conversation about me?
- What do you think?
She performed for you all night.
Flirted with different women.
I think she procures for you.
You went in that
threesome thing.
She's gorgeous, well educated.
A woman like that
isn't doing it for fun.
She's doing it for a ring.
But the problem is that
you're so bored with her
then she wants a commitment
to take it to the next level.
So, therefore, you
are ghosting her.
- And you know this how?
- The clerk's office.
Whenever you decide that
you're bored with a woman,
you block her from your phone
and they start calling
the clerk's office.
All the clerks talk about it.
- Okay, so one last question.
Do we have a problem here?
- Why would we have a problem?
- So we don't have
a problem here.
- I don't, but I think you do.
- What do you mean?
- Is that your house?
- Oh shit.
- Now that's cinematic.
♪ I heard him say
chivalry was dead ♪
♪ Uh huh
♪ I see it in your
eyes you're scared ♪
♪ Uh huh
♪ Because there ain't
nothing here for you here ♪
♪ Lot of skeletons
in my closet there ♪
♪ Maybe destruction
is part of the plan ♪
♪ I'm your little
emperor, the maze ♪
♪ I'ma to need my
respect in the face ♪
♪ And if you get offended too
bad ♪
♪ Cause I'm the high eater
♪ I'm a high eater
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, what the hell you doing?
- Waiting on y'all.
- This is the dumbest
I've ever seen.
- You're right outside
of a police station.
What'd you think would happen?
- I know exactly
what's gonna happen.
- Wait, you one of
those police auditors
trying to drag us
into some shit?
- Nah, man.
Ah, easy.
Easy with the pushing
and the pulling,
I ain't resisting.
- Exactly. This is an
arrest, not a slow down.
- I know exactly what it
is, I've been waiting on it.
- So you looking to go to jail?
- Ain't a lot of wattage
in your light bulb, is it?
- Yeah, well you are the
fool who's going to jail.
- For what?
What are y'all charging me for?
- Vandalism.
- Damn.
- What are you doing now?
- Now I'm resisting arrest.
- Get your ass up.
- God, easy!
What about my spray paint?
- Okay, so you fold like this.
Now put the tape on there.
Good.
- Yvonne, where you at?
Hate all this
materialistic Christmas.
Everybody just uses me.
- Let's go.
- Let's just wait a
minute, he might stop.
- Where are you, Yvonne?
- He won't,
this one's too fast
in the beginning.
These ones don't stop.
Let's just go.
- Open the door, Yvonne.
I said open the door, Yvonne.
Don't play with me.
Yvonne, I know what you're
doing, don't play with me.
- Ah!
Where are you?
Jay!
- Shh!
You're not gonna
- You okay?
gimme nothing.
- Come on!
- Where are you?
- Yvonne!
Jay!
I told you not to play with me.
Jay!
Where are you Yvonne?
- Oh my God!
Jay !
- I got you.
It's okay, it's okay.
It's okay.
- Falling.
- You ever think
about buying a ladder?
Come here.
♪♪♪
♪ All I see is blessings
♪ Got no time for stressin'
♪ Don't believe there's failure
in my life ♪
♪ It's only lessons
♪ They just make me♪
♪ I don't got a clue but I know
♪ But I know the one who does
knows how, oh wow ♪
♪ It's like I'm winnin' the game
with the maker ♪
♪I already know now
♪ As soon as I got your name♪
♪ We're gonna be alright
♪ We gon' make it through if it
takes us all night ♪
♪ No matter what they all think,
we are great ♪
- Babe.
- So, huh?
Are we good?
- I thought it was good.
- Not that, I meant you and me.
- I know what you meant.
And yeah, we good.
- No we're not, I can tell.
- You did serve me
up to the police.
- And Allen reduced the charges.
No time, no crime.
- That's the least you can do,
after you got me arrested.
And quarters with him?
Now you owe that
asshole a favor.
- I didn't ask him
to do me a solid.
- That don't
mean you don't owe him.
I don't like that
motherfucker anyway.
Every time I'm in a
room with you two,
dude stares at you
like you lunch.
I mean, I get it,
any man would look
but that motherfucker
makes sure I see him.
That's the thing, he
fucks with me about you.
- First, thank you.
- It is what it is.
- Second.
- And here's where we go left.
- Really, nigga?
Him looking at me is about you?
Bro, there you go.
There you can see
that thing from space.
- Mm-hmm?
- Mm.
- You see it?
- Mm, I see it
- 'Cause you sleep with it.
- Oh!
- Turn down two
lawyers to be with it.
- Whatever.
- Don't pretend like
you don't understand it.
- Indeed.
- Mm-hmm
- But still, all
I'd like to know,
I'd like to be you,
just for a day.
To know what it feels like to
truly believe that nothing,
and I mean not shit.
Can touch me.
- Fuck all that.
You hear what I
said about Allen?
- I did.
- Watch him.
- So we're good, right?
- Yeah, I keep telling you that.
- Anything going on over there
that I need to know about?
- No.
- I want to see.
See? It's not the
iPhone, it's the wePhone.
- Mm-hmm.
Mm.
We can do something else,
- You know what I'm saying?
Then look at my phone.
You are not in any position
to ask a nigga no questions.
Got me cuffed up and sitting
in the back of the
squad car and all.
- How many different ways
can I say that, I'm sorry?
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- That's a start.
- I've been doing
the food thing.
- That's one.
- And I've been doing you,
- Mm-hmm.
till you can't even do anymore.
So what?
What?
So what? What's good?
What else do I have to do?
- I don't want to talk about
everything every other minute.
- So what?
We can't talk about
anything anymore.
- I didn't say that.
- Okay, so then what exactly
do you not wanna talk about?
- Whatever we talking
about right now,
I'm not sure what
it is, but this,
this is it.
- So this undetermined it.
I should just leave alone.
- Yeah, just leave it alone.
- So we're good, right?
- Yeah, just shut it down.
- Mm, so I should just shove
it in that drawer over there
next to your phone.
- You know I don't do half
the dirt you think I do?
- Oh, but how you
do that other half.
Whatever.
- You stay away.
Go away.
- Go go go go go.
Please, pick a side.
I don't need you here,
I don't need you here
and I don't want you here.
Morning, Jeff.
- Morning Judge.
- Y'all look cute.
- Morning ladies.
- Hey.
- Good morning, Officer.
- Judge, you wanna take
the morning motions?
- No, but I will.
- Thank you.
- Mm, I wish there was
a new new guy in town.
- And we would still
ask you to do them.
- Why y'all picking on me?
- Well, you
don't give us a hard time
and you get 'em back
to us the same day.
We wish you pulled them
offline like everybody else.
But we understand
you like paper.
- Oh, I know what
I'm going to do.
Start coming in here
with my stank face on.
- Please don't Judge.
- Hey Misha, how'd
that thing work out?
- Let's just say I got it done.
- All right.
All right, ladies.
- Thing?
- Mind your business, dang.
- What thing?
- You so nosy, all over
my Kool-Aid.
- I'm just trying
to get the tea.
- Always
trying to get the tea.
- Judge, what are you doing
with all these motions?
- Oh, I don't mind.
- That's not the point.
- So what do we have on
the docket for today?
Anything noteworthy?
- Well you successfully
dodged the Steel bullet.
- She filled suit again?
- No, he's being
arraigned on a DV charge.
- I thought the prosecutor
wasn't listening to her anymore?
- Word is she had visible
injuries this time.
- Really?
- Bound to happen,
she's relentless.
- How long have
they been regulars?
- Forever.
- Hmm.
You know I got the weirdest hit
on him when we were in trial?
- Weird hit?
- Yeah, he tries too hard
to manage his presentation
but he let it slip
and I caught him.
- Judge--
- You know what?
Pull their records for me,
both criminal and civil.
- For what?
Will do, Judge.
Judge Spangler is here.
- This will only take a minute.
- Hi
- Judge.
- Oh, have a seat Spangler.
- I thought long and hard
about coming in here.
You've been here six months
and in those six months
you did this.
57 pages of suggestions.
- Suggestions, Spangler.
That's the operative term.
- I don't care about
the logistical stuff.
It's that sentencing grid,
you're trying to affect the way
the rest of us rule.
That is not gonna fly.
- Don't you wanna know
how effective it is?
What we do?
I mean if we can track
our sentencing then
we can figure out
what works and
what doesn't work.
- Each judge has
the absolute right
to run their court
as they please.
- Oh, you're mad that
this charge shows
that you're an outlier.
Always giving the mask.
- Oh no, no, no.
Don't you ever.
- Be cool, be cockpit cool.
- I know what you're thinking.
Those degrees, they
don't mean a thing.
I have 15 years of experience.
I know people.
I know what they'll
do and how they work.
- Did you know that
I would do that?
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
You good, Ruth?
- You have no business here.
You don't have the
right temperament.
- The hell is going on in here?
- Ooh, can you pass
me a pen please?
It's right there.
- There's one right here.
- Thank you.
Appreciate you.
- Judge, you know what?
Maybe--
- I'm good Jean, thank you.
Asshole!
- Y'all wild man.
- I ain't mess y'all
niggas, man.
- It's great.
Hey, so, so let me
get this straight.
You and your woman about to
get it in, the phone rings.
You end up going over her
parents' house to stop a fight
and you get arrested?
- Yeah, pretty much it.
- Shit.
- Damn, ain't that a bitch?
- Isn't having a judge as your
woman supposed to help you?
I mean she has juice.
You should be tapping
that vein for a break man.
Not letting her
get you arrested.
- Facts.
- So I ain't gonna lie though,
I mean she's fine and all,
but some of the shit she does.
I don't understand that shit.
- You what?
Bro, you don't understand
women in general.
- At all.
- This nigga going on.
- Your last girl
look like me nigga.
- Okay, this nigga man.
- Her feet was big as hell too.
Didn't y'all wear
the same shoes?
Yeah, saving money on
shoes and all nigga.
What?
- Man, I don't know D.
- Bro, what you
don't know about?
She bad as hell, she
making good money,
and she putting up
with this ignorant ass
- That's a fact.
- Yeah she a little choppy
but she hold a nigga down.
I fuck with her.
- Look man, long as she
bringing that bag in,
I'm with it.
She used to bring that bag in.
Ain't that right?
- Bro, what you mean she's
still making six figures.
- I don't care about all that.
- You shitting me?
- She's like this puff of smoke.
You think you see her?
You think you have
her and then poof.
She shows up somewhere
different all together.
- This old Shakespeare
ass nigga man.
- Oh Romeo and
Juliet ass nigga.
- That's 'cause you ain't
got no bitches that's deep.
Or y'all ain't going in
deep, one or the other.
- You kidding me?
- He ain't talking about me.
- I'm for sure talking
about you but no cap,
I ain't even worried
about that arrest shit.
It's easier to tell
her that than...
- Than what?
- The shits that's really
kicking my ass, man.
- That's facts.
- Shit.
- Anyway fuck that shit.
You gotta get your
man some bitches
'cause he all up in my business
like it's his business.
- I'm sick of y'all niggas.
- I've been trying for the
last two, three years man.
- Damn.
- Two, three years.
But he always on that
IG shit, man I wanna
meet somebody in person.
- What's wrong with that?
- Come on, man.
- Why can't you holler
at somebody in person?
- Did we not talk about
y'all niggas mamas earlier.
♪ Talkin' of the 201
♪ Like we 'bout to play on
teams ♪
- As you know Mr.
Stevens is schizophrenic
and not currently
on any medications.
So I don't think
he's competent to--
- I've been charged
with vandalism,
a fourth degree misdemeanor,
which carries a 30-day
sentence and a $250 fine
and resisting, which maxes
out a six months and a grand.
I have the right to a trial
by jury should I want one.
And a free attorney.
- Prosecutor Nyx?
- Mr. Stevens went into
a police parking lot
and put a bat through a
window of one of the cruisers.
Then he sat down and
waited to be arrested.
At first, he complied,
but then right before they got
through the precinct's door
he sat down and refused to move.
- Looking to go in
and get right, huh?
- Yeah, they kicked me out.
I can't afford my meds and
they're, they're coming for me.
- Mr. Stevens, you may have
some mental health issues
but you make more
sense in the system
that was designed to help you.
I hereby sentence you to 30--
- Uh.
- 60 days.
- Yeah.
- We'll make that work.
- Oh, God.
- What are you doing?
- What is wrong with that boy?
- Man, this not as
dumb as it looks.
Can you believe people actually
making money doing that mess?
Mm.
- Oh so you don't know how
this platform run, do you?
- See what they do,
they mine their mind
and they give 'em what they want
and then they sell
it right back to 'em.
At the same time, they're
actually collecting
a whole lot of data and it,
it's actually kind
of, kind of genius.
And I wish I thought
of it myself.
- Richard, what the hell
are you talking about?
You expect me to
understand all that?
- Hell no.
Not you.
It's very unlikely.
- And I don't.
I thought we were going to be
eating healthy for lunch today?
- I'm not, but it's good though.
You should try it.
Open your mouth.
Open your mouth.
You run your mouth enough.
Damn, one time I asked
you to open your mouth,
other than last night,
and you won't open your mouth.
Good, ain't it?
- Mm.
- Mm-hm.
- It's alright.
- Your non-cooking ass.
- You not starving.
You know they can
make money out there.
- Hm?
$237,452.36.
You think they can make that?
- What?
- Yeah, I mean
after private school
and college and a business loan.
I know I'll never
see that money again.
- I know that's right.
- That's about how much
money I put into him
as he done bounced
back and forth from
one bad idea to another one.
- Well, some folks
making millions.
Why not him?
- What is in her butt to
make it move like that?
- You don't want to know.
- You need to talk to her.
Y'all need to bond.
You could use a couple
of cans of fix her flat
your damn self.
- I don't think so.
I'm good to go.
- Night, ooh Judge Graves.
- Hey you headed home?
- Yeah, I just wanted to
pop in and say goodnight.
- Oh, come on here
for a minute, sis.
- Mm, what up?
Where's Martin?
- He's out for a few minutes,
had to put out some fires.
Just sit here.
- I really gotta go home.
- Oh come on girl, you
can stay for a minute.
Have a drink with me.
- All right.
- So, uh, Rusty is going
after that man of yours huh?
Can't blame you.
You enjoy while you young and
everything's still working?
- Yeah, even though
he might not be there.
- Uh-oh, things,
uh, rocky at home?
- Let's just say Daryl
is having trouble
finding his way home these days.
That fucking phone.
- You, uh, go through it.
- I sure motherfucking did.
- And?
- No direct evidence,
but a fair amount of
circumstantial evidence.
- Enough to convict him?
- Can't say beyond
a reasonable doubt.
- Then that's that.
- So I shouldn't be worried?
I mean, you and I both
know guys like him.
- You married a guy
like him.
Can't be mad, you got
exactly what you picked.
- I'm just saying, I
just don't understand.
Why can't I have
my own man, hmm?
Why can't, why can't I,
why can't I just be enough?
I don't think that I'm ugly.
I actually think that
I look good, right?
- You do.
- TMI, but I give
him all the sex
that he asks for and good sex.
I mean, I'm just saying.
- Hmm.
But the thing is,
on top of that,
I pay all of the bills
and that shit actually
works against me.
- I hear you, sis.
But there's the law
of supply and demand
and cats like that
are always in demand.
They don't have to go
out looking for it,
it looks for them.
- Hey nah, but for real man,
we gotta get you a lady.
- I'm sick of y'all niggas.
- What, a side?
- Set it up then.
- Oh!
- What?
- What's going on Jen?
- Hey.
- There she is.
There she is.
- Looking good.
There she is.
- Thank you, how're you?
Yo Drake, let's jump?
No, definitely you
can have my seat too.
- Hey D, tell Jay I say hey.
- Will do.
- Still here, Trip.
- That's your boy,
- Man, hold on real quick.
- nigga.
- So how you been?
- I've been good, how are you?
- Good.
- Come on, nigga you know
I gotta go pick up Sheila.
- Bigfoot can walk
her ass to the house.
- Don't do her like that.
And you know that shit
wasn't unnecessary.
- Bro, hell if it wasn't.
- He could have him both.
All right, Jay not gonna
leave him and neither is she.
- Bro you sure about Jay though?
- She ain't left him yet.
- And you know Daryl
gets his dirt in.
- Bro, Jay is the best
thing to happen to Daryl.
All right he crazy
if he fucks this up
over little piece
of random pussy.
- Out of his damn mind.
- Out of his damn mind.
- Hold on real quick.
- nigga, come on.
- What?
nigga damn.
- Damn.
Bigfoot my ass.
- They about to get it in.
- What brings you by?
- I was just wanting to see you.
- Well here I am.
- I thought maybe we
could go to the high bar
you bought last time and I was
wanting to return the favor.
- I can't meet you there again.
- Why not?
- You know my situation.
Don't pretend like you don't.
- But it's not like
you're married.
- That doesn't mean that's
not my wifey, 'cause she is.
- Well then why are
you here with me?
- I'm at work.
The question you
gotta ask yourself is,
why are you here with me?
- I don't know.
- Yeah you do.
- I thought you liked me.
- I do.
- Then what's the problem?
- The problem is, you
don't know your role.
- My role?
- Yeah, your role.
- Teach me.
- And it was quite as kept uh,
now you know I love you sis.
You probably not the
easiest person to live with.
That dude had to take
a charge for you.
If you looking for fair, you
landed at the wrong universe.
- I ain't even looking for
fair, I just wanna feel safe.
Is that too much
to ask for Graves?
- Relationships are complicated,
but I'm going to bet that
if it came down to it,
he'd take a bullet for you.
Am I right?
- You already
started without me?
- Come on in, it's your liquor.
- And what are we talking about?
- Oh, nothing important.
Um, anything interesting?
Single woman, living
alone, oh poor thing.
Wonder if she felt safe
when someone was
breaking into her home.
- Here you go.
You need to eat.
I'm sorry about the
little accident.
- You hit me.
- No I didn't.
Judge Allen said so.
- You hit me!
- Lily, please.
You can't prove anything,
then it never happened.
- They don't know everything,
except for that Spangler.
She doesn't like you.
If I only I could
get her back again.
- Hey.
I will rejoice in the chance
to match ways with you
and any woman you choose.
- You're turning into Frank.
- Is that supposed
to be an insult?
You don't get what Frank
understood, but you will.
And the quiet woman will shine
bright and be taken care of.
Those who seek attention,
subvert the will of God and
will face repercussions.
Chapter five, verse nine.
- That's not in the Bible.
- God never stopped.
Why would he?
His word still reigns
down from heaven.
Only, it's a word
no woman can hear.
I'm gonna be down in
the basement working.
You get some rest.
Stay away from the door.
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
- Why?
- Why, what?
- Well, why here?
You had to take a huge pay cut.
Firms like Anderson & Elliot.
They won't even look
at Howard or me.
- This is where safe is.
- Well that you have to explain.
- My family looks good on paper.
Two parents, dad's an engineer,
my mother's a stay at
home, brother and sister.
Perfect little nuclear family.
But as my grandmother
used to say,
whatever God gives
you on one side,
he shows you on the other.
So, one day, my father
grabbed my mother
and put her through a window.
- Oh.
- That was the first time
that I ever came here.
So I remember that judge,
Judge McClellan in that
robe, on that bench.
He protected us that night.
Made sure my daddy
didn't come home.
- Well what do we have here?
- Just decompressing
after a long day.
Come on in and join us?
- No, I don't think
so, not tonight.
- Day's over, court's close.
Come on, Spangler.
- Ruth, I'm sorry
about this morning.
I should not have
gotten upset with you.
I'm not trying to hurt
you, it's just that--
- We said what we needed
to say to one another.
I'll bid you all good night.
- I bid you all a good night.
What happened this morning?
- Yeah?
- I made 57
suggestions too many.
- You do forward a
whole lot of emails.
- I mean, well why
not just share?
I mean, I don't know.
I have an idea and I
just throw it out there.
Share.
- Lester loves it.
She says you have a
gift for logistics.
- Thank you.
She's never gonna
like me, is she?
- Oh yeah, I, um, never, no.
- No, never.
- Now, now it'll
all be over soon.
Let's get you dressed.
Let's see how these look on you.
No, no more of that.
Now these
are from the Snyder era.
He was here the
longest, eight years.
Personally I prefer
the one night stands
You're a mother.
You have Jordan
and Tensley, right?
Don't you think
it's important to
provide them with a
safe, secure environment?
You understand.
- Ah, the morning after blouse.
Every time she came
out with this rob on,
I knew there was a
guy in the house.
Yeah, I know, I know.
It's old fashioned.
Now I'm gonna get
these developed
and I'm gonna let
you look at them,
and then you decide if
you want to look at them.
We'll go from there.
You know, it's not that I think
all women are irredeemable.
I just haven't met any who
feel the need to be redeemed.
- One more for the road!
- No, no, no, no, no.
I'm already one too
many for the road.
I have to call an Uber.
- Oh, can't do that.
- What do you mean,
I can't drive.
- Drunk in the back
of an Uber Judge?
Not a good look.
Call Daryl.
- Yeah that'll
help my situation.
- Call him.
Just tell him you
need to be rescued.
- What I need to
do is to go to bed without,
um--
- Look at those shoes.
Stop, stop.
What I need to do is go to
bed without hearing about
how much trouble I am.
That's what I need.
- Yeah, no worries.
I can take you home.
- What's that look for, Howard?
You can't believe
the rumors can you?
- I don't know from rumors.
I know you.
- No, no, no.
You know the rumors.
- I've got my eyes on you.
- Okay, okay.
- Yeah, you let
me take your home.
- No, that's just dumb 'cause
you live 10 minutes that way.
And I live 10 minutes this way.
He lives 10 minutes
this way too.
Which is you're practically
right around the corner from me.
- Yeah, Howard, this is dumb.
I live 10 minutes that way
and, and 10 minutes, and uh,
I'm gonna get my coat.
Yeah.
- Get this.
You watch out for him.
- Allen?
Please, what's he gonna do?
- You are two sheets
to the wind, sis.
- Graves, I've been
doing me my entire life.
I know how this works.
- Ciao.
- Goodnight.
- I'll see ya girl.
Call me when you get home.
- Found it.
- I shall.
- Come on.
- Y'all drive careful now.
- You get home safely too.
- There's only one
way to drive, come on.
- There we go.
- Oh,
- Mm-hmm.
- I never took you
for that kind of guy.
- Guy who likes good music?
- Ooh hey, whoa.
Never touched the hair.
- Okay.
What did you mean when you said
that'll help your situation?
Is there a situation
between you and Daryl?
- No idea what
you're talking about.
- So that's just
between you and Graves.
Is it a black thing?
- No, it's a none of
your damn business thing.
You wanna talk, talk about
your own relationship.
- Well, as an act of good
faith, I'll say this.
I've had some less
than cinematic endings
to a few relationships
and that's all.
- Explain.
- I want what I want
and I never lie.
- But.
- But, they never believe me.
- And?
- And nothing.
They always get mad about it.
- Hmm.
- Well don't you want to know?
- Know what?
- What I like.
- You can do one of two things.
You can take your
hand off of my leg
or you can get your
story together.
- My story?
- Mm-hmm, the story you
gotta tell everybody tomorrow
when they figure out you
only got four fingers
instead of five on that hand.
- Did I, uh, misread you?
- You misunderstood me.
- How so?
- I'm neither
impressed nor in need.
- Which means what?
- You're an elegant creeper.
You present perfectly.
Handsome, powerful.
You want women to want you
but not in a way
that ties you up.
So you tell 'em upfront that
there's no future in this
even though you
act like there is.
So you let the feeling of a
commitment creep up on them.
And then you can always go back
to that declarative sentence
that you said in the beginning
that keeps them at bay.
- May I ask how you
came by that analysis?
- You address how people
feel when you sentence them.
- Okay, how does that
translate to my love life?
- Men tend to hone their
most effective skills
when trying to bag women.
You got status and you
look good for a white dude.
- Which means?
- Hmm?
Your current girlfriend's
name is Denise, right?
- You met her at the
Bar Association dinner.
Did you two have a
conversation about me?
- What do you think?
She performed for you all night.
Flirted with different women.
I think she procures for you.
You went in that
threesome thing.
She's gorgeous, well educated.
A woman like that
isn't doing it for fun.
She's doing it for a ring.
But the problem is that
you're so bored with her
then she wants a commitment
to take it to the next level.
So, therefore, you
are ghosting her.
- And you know this how?
- The clerk's office.
Whenever you decide that
you're bored with a woman,
you block her from your phone
and they start calling
the clerk's office.
All the clerks talk about it.
- Okay, so one last question.
Do we have a problem here?
- Why would we have a problem?
- So we don't have
a problem here.
- I don't, but I think you do.
- What do you mean?
- Is that your house?
- Oh shit.
- Now that's cinematic.
♪ I heard him say
chivalry was dead ♪
♪ Uh huh
♪ I see it in your
eyes you're scared ♪
♪ Uh huh
♪ Because there ain't
nothing here for you here ♪
♪ Lot of skeletons
in my closet there ♪
♪ Maybe destruction
is part of the plan ♪
♪ I'm your little
emperor, the maze ♪
♪ I'ma to need my
respect in the face ♪
♪ And if you get offended too
bad ♪
♪ Cause I'm the high eater
♪ I'm a high eater