Josie and the Pussy Cats in Outer Space (1972-1974): Season 1, Episode 4 - Alien Alan - full transcript

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[theme song]

♪ Josie in outer space ♪

♪ Pussycats are all in place ♪

♪ Blasting off on another chase ♪

♪ Mars, stars, the Milky Way ♪

♪ When they're groovin'
who can say ♪

♪ Buckle up your seatbelts ♪

♪ They could be in
orbit in the stars ♪

♪ On a spooky planet,
maybe Mars ♪

♪ There's no way of knowing
when they're groovin' ♪

♪ Way above the atmosphere
trying to get back to here ♪



♪ They're blasting off now ♪

♪ Josie's on a rocket ride ♪

♪ Pussycats all by her side ♪

♪ Bleep Bleep is
the kooky guide ♪

♪ Come along and dig the chase ♪

♪ With the Pussycats
in outer space ♪

♪ The Pussycats
in outer space ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[instrumental music]

Let's face it, Alan,
we're hopelessly lost.

On top of that,
something's goofing up

'our navigational equipment.'

I'll have your banana split
special in a jiffy, Alexander.

Yummy, dum-dum.



[bleeps]

(Melody) 'Relax,
Bleep, you're next.'

Here you are, Alex.

Hey, my banana special is
trying to split. He-he-he.

- Here, let me have it.
- Okay, it's yours.

[splat]

[plonk]

[sniggering]

[thud]

[bleeps]

[meow]

Hey, what happened to you?

And, Sebastian,
how did you do that?

Whoa!

[thud]

And how did you do that, Alan?

Just one of my...hang ups,
I guess.

Ye-ow!

[thud]

What's goin' on here?

Come on, Valerie, knock it off.

It's not me.
I'm not doing a thing.

It looks like...somebody's
using a giant magnet on us.

Ridiculous! How could
anybody do that?

[whizzing]

[upbeat music]

[dramatic music]

Success! Magno, our magnetron

has captured an alien spacecraft.

Excellent, bring it down at once.

[whirring]

(Alan) 'We're moving.
What now?'

(Valerie) 'We're being drawn
down toward that small planetoid.'

Help! Somebody put on the airbrakes.

No way! We're caught
in a magnetic force.

- 'Can't we do something?'
- 'Nothing except relax.'

And leave the driving to
whoever's driving us.

How do I relax with
somebody's foot in my face?

Whee! This is just like a
crazy roller coaster ride.

(Valerie) 'Hang on, everybody.'

[Alex laughing]

(Alex) 'We're slowing down.'

(Alan) Right, but I
don't think it's funny.

[dramatic music]

[whizzing]

[flute music]

[creak]

- 'Careful, Alan.'
- There's nothing out here.

How c-c-can you be sure?

(Alan) 'Well, I'll reconnoiter.'

'The rest of you stay inside
until I say it's safe.'

Say, that's a good idea. Ha ha.

I'll reconnoiter in here.

(Valerie) 'Close hatch.'

[creak]

So far, so-o-o-o..

...not so go-o-od.

[intense music]

A fine catch.

[laughs]

What's the big idea
bringin' me here?

- I have use for you.
- Well, I've got news for you.

I don't have any use for you.

Silence, alien captive!
You will serve me.

Oh, yeah?
We'll just see about..

[whirring]

You will obey my
every command, alien.

I...will...obey...master.

I've waited long enough.
I'm going to find Alan.

Not without me, you're not.

Me, too. Oh, fun, fun!

I'm dying to go sightseeing.

Come on, Bleep, make a leap.

[bleeps]

(Josie) 'Okay. We'll take
the router rover.'

'Open the hatch, Alex.
Hop aboard, Val.'

You guys go ahead. I'll just
stay here and guard the ship.

Good idea. Whoever brought
us down might show up.

Oh, in that case,
make room for me.

Look, wouldn't it be better
if we split up to find Alan?

(Alexandra) Relax. With me
at the wheel, nothin' can get us.

[whirring]

(Alex) 'Don't look now,
but I think we just got got.'

'Oh, maybe I should've
stayed with the ship.'

(Josie) 'But not this one.'

[upbeat music]

What is the reason for this
visit to our planetoid?

- Offhand, I'd say your magnet.
- Or, uh, your magnetism?

[laughing]

Never mind us, what have
you done with our friend, Alan?

Silence! I will ask
the questions, aliens.

Watch whom you're
calling names, shorty.

Uh. what she means is we're,
uh, entertainers and we..

Entertainers?
What are entertainers?

Maybe we better show him.

Okay, pussycats, grab your
instros and let's hit it.

And a one, and a two, and a..

♪ Tu-tu tu-tu tu-tu ♪

♪ Get a-movin' ♪

♪ Tu-tu tu-tu tu-tu ♪

♪ Come on faster ♪

♪ Tu-tu tu-tu tu-tu
now let's dance ♪

♪ Let's dance
the flames away ♪

♪ Feet get me movin' ♪

♪ Loose all along ♪

♪ Legs cha-cha.. ♪

♪ They're playing our song ♪

♪ Just keep on.. ♪

What a time for
a rock concert?

What's so dumb about it?

If he digs it, maybe
he'll arrange a tour.

Right on. That'll
help us to find, Alan.

I'll show him some
real entertainment.

Dig this, man.

♪ Hey hey ♪

♪ Everyday is a happy day ♪

♪ Hey hey ♪

♪ Let's dance the brains away ♪

♪ Let's dance the brains away ♪

Hey, how 'bout that?
Cool, right?

Very interesting.

Those sounds make me act strangely.

- Then you dig us, right?
- No. You will dig for me.

In our magnetium mines.

(all) Magnetium mines?

You've got to be kiddin', fellow.

Guard, take them to the mines.

- 'At once, Magno.'
- Alan!

- We've been worried about you.
- Wow.

It's good to see you're safe.

You sure look cute
in that costume.

[giggles]

[laughing]

Always clowning around,
right, Alan?

- Quiet, alien!
- Hey, who are you callin' an..

And that goes for the
rest of you aliens, too.

Come on, Alan honey.

Get out of that silly
outfit and let's split.

Enough!
To the mines, all of you.

(Valerie) 'Come on, let's split.'

[bleeps]

Bleep says that's the way out.

Press the button, Bleep.

[buzz]

What a funny door!

What a crazy elevator!

- Where is it taking us?
- I don't know.

But it's such fun to be surprised.

Oh, brother!

[bleeps]

(Alex) It's going down?

It stopped.

(all) Alan!

End of line...aliens.

Out. Out.

[drilling]

Personally, this is
one gig I don't dig.

I'm not too thrilled
about this drill, either.

Bleep knows what he's doin'.

Hah! Look where it got us!

Well, he found Alan, didn't he?

(Alex) 'Big deal!'

Will you two stop that arguing

and let's concentrate on escaping?

There is no escape from here.

Yes, sir. Uh...I mean, no, sir.

Hah! If Magno thinks I'm
going to work this rock pile..

...he's got rocks in his head.

[rumble]

[bleeps]

Gee, I wonder if riding
in those cars

would be like the tunnel of love?

Great idea!
Get ready, kids.

[thud]

What's goin' on there?

Quick, everybody into the cars.

Hurry, Alexandra.

- Hey, wait for us!
- Next car, please. He he he.

(Alex) 'Help me grab
that car, sis.'

'Boy, I hope we're
doing the right thing.'

(Alexandra) Anything's better
than what we're leaving.

The aliens are escaping.

Sound the alarm!

- Uh-oh, the guards.
- We sure could use Alan.

- We've gotta save him.
- No, let's save us first.

(Valerie) 'We'll all be saved,
if we stick together.'

(Alex) 'Help! Help!'

(Melody) 'Whee!
Our own tunnel ride!'

Whoopee!

[upbeat music]

[music continues]

W-w-what do we do now?

Sit tight, chicken brother.

There's nothing
to break up about.

Oh, no! Whoa! End of line.

Cool it. We'll ride out
on this conveyor belt.

How do we cool it
with that up ahead?

(Alexandra) 'Oh, brother!
What a time for a barbeque!'

(Alex) 'Any other hot ideas?'

The guards are gaining.

When we get within range,
activate your immobilizer.

(Josie) 'They'll get us for
sure, if they get close.'

(Melody) 'Bleep says they
won't if we're not in the car to get.'

Good thinking, Bleep,
when we go through that

air vent up ahead,
everybody hop out.

[whirring]

(Josie) Now.

- Ah, now we have them where--
- Watch out!

[crash]

We must notify Magno
of this disaster.

Escaped? Send for
the alien guard.

[bleeps]

Okay, Bleep.
Let's follow him, kid.

It's a good thing,
Bleep's with us.

But I wonder how Alex and
Alexandra are doing?

Probably a lot better
off than we are.

(Alex) 'Oh, boy, our
goose is cooked now.'

Not yet. That Magno space
ship that's approaching

'has to pass under us to land
at that air field, over there.'

- This is where we get off.
- How? Fly?

That's right. Let's go.

Just call me drop out.

[dramatic music]

(Alex) Good. They're gone.

Now, can we fly this
bug out of here?

How about finding Josie
and the others?

First, I'm going to
save Alan for myself.

What are we going to
do about Alan, Josie?

If we can just find out
what Magno did to him. Shh.

- I hear his voice.
- 'You...sent for me?'

It is your fault
the aliens escaped.

Shh, we found him.

Perhaps you need a stronger
thought control treatment.

[buzzing]

[whirring]

- So that's it!
- Alan's been brainwashed!

Then it's up to us
to un-wash it, right?

- Right.
- 'Right.'

When I give the signal,
we move in fast.

Ha ha ha, after this,
your thoughts will be, ah..

You dare to touch Magno?

Cool it, Alan.
We're here to help you.

No, you do as I command you..

[mumbling]

(Melody) 'Pay no
attention to him, Alan.'

'He's talking through
his hat. He-he-he.'

He won't listen to
Magno after this trip

'through the Thought Un-mixer.'

[whirring]

Uh, w-what's happening?

Magno? Aliens?

Josie! Hey what's with
the light show scene?

Oh, Alan! You're with us again.

Yeah. Wow, uh..

[chuckles] Mmm, wild.

[laughs] Now, I shall
have them all captive again.

Not yet. This way, everybody!

[upbeat music]

(Valerie)
Now, we're really trapped!

We'd have to have
wings to get away.

Why don't we take a taxi?

- He-he. Ta-xi!
- Melody, there's no..

Hey, it's Alex and Alexandra!

There are the other kids.

Don't go away.
I'll save you.

Attention, all guards,
the aliens have escaped.

Capture them!

[dramatic music]

- Take over, Alan.
- It may be a bit bumpy.

With you with us again,
Alan, it'll be a joy ride.

Yeah. Well, fasten your
seat belts anyway.

I never drove this kind
of air-buggy before.

But here we go!

[swoosh]

[whirr whirr]

[whizz whizz]

Ready. Super magnaforce.

Steady, aim, fast beam.

[zapping]

[bleeps]

(Josie) He's right on our tail.

I'll try a little
football side step.

[screech]

This will knock out his magnaforce.

[zapping]

(Alan) He can't touch
us now. Let's go!

Ah, they escaped again.
Send more fighters!

- Stop them!
- Alan, watch out.

- Dead ahead.
- Look behind, Alan.

Another one.

Don't worry. I got the
hang of this buggy now.

So hang on!

[crackling]

[boom]

[meow]

Alan, look!

I see.

'It's being drawn down
to home base.'

[magnet whirring]

[crackling]

[bleeps]

Watch where you're going, Alan.

- Drop the sky hook.
- Alan, Alan, over there!

[swoosh]

[swoosh]

[upbeat music]

Alan, two rats in the basement.

Gotcha.

[splash]

[splash splash]

Let's find our own ship
and split this planetoid.

(Alan) Right on, Alex, but
there's something we must do first.

You bunglers! Search for them!
They must be close by.

(Alan) 'Closer than
you think, Magno.'

Now, it's our turn to play.

Let's put on a real show.

Foolish aliens,
there is no escape.

[Magno laughing]

[meow]

That will not help you.

[sniggering]

I'll take care of you myself.

[whirring]

No use wasting beam
power, huh, Magno?

[zapping]

'Excuse my manners.
Have a seat, Magno.'

'And think it over.'

You might have some
second thoughts.

No. No!

I permanently guarantee it.

No! No! I am Magno!

I am invincible!

I shall rule this planet,
the whole wide galaxy...

You'll do what?

I will obey your command.

Repeat after me,
I will free my people

spread happiness and love.

"I will free my people.
Spread happiness and love."

Then, you will destroy
those evil machines?

Yes. With my secret destruct
button, under the control arm.

(Alan) 'I'll test him.
There it is.'

And just to make sure
these diabolical gadgets

are never used again, presto.

[buzz]

[whirring]

[plop]

[crackling]

[bleeps]

Goodbye, Magno!

(all) Goodbye!

[bleeps]

Somebody's sure got some
mess to clean up. He-he.

(Alex) 'Yeah and we're
getting clean out of here.'

- 'There's our space ship!'
- 'Right where we left it.'

(Alex) 'You know, it wasn't
such a bad place...to visit.'

(Melody) 'Yeah, but we sure
wouldn't wanna get stuck there.'

[Melody laughing]

As long as we have to
be stuck out in space

it's time Alan got attracted to me.

How 'bout a banana split, Josie?

Oh, groovy, Alan!

Yikes!

- Alexandra, what's up?
- Me.

Wow, that's what I'd call
being real attractive.

[laughing]

[laughing]

Ressynch: Kilo

[theme song]

♪ They're blasting off now ♪

♪ Josie's on a rocket ride ♪

♪ Pussycats all
by her side ♪

♪ Bleep Bleep is
the kooky guide ♪

♪ Come along and
dig the chase ♪

♪ With the Pussycats
in outer space ♪

♪ The Pussycats
in outer space ♪

♪ Yeah ♪