Josie and the Pussy Cats in Outer Space (1972-1974): Season 1, Episode 16 - Warrior Women of Amazonia - full transcript

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[theme song]

♪ Josie in outer space ♪

♪ Pussycats are all in place ♪

♪ Aah ♪

♪ Blasting off on
another chase ♪

♪ Mars, stars, the Milky Way ♪

♪ When they're groovin'
who can say ♪

♪ Buckle up your seatbelts ♪

♪ They could be in
orbit in the stars ♪

♪ On a spooky planet maybe Mars ♪

♪ There's no way of knowing ♪



♪ When they're groovin'
way above the atmosphere ♪

♪ Trying to get back to here ♪

♪ They're blasting off now ♪

♪ Josie's on a rocket ride ♪

♪ Pussycats all by her side ♪

♪ Bleep Bleep is
the kooky guide ♪

♪ Come along and
dig the chase ♪

♪ With the Pussycats
in outer space ♪

♪ The Pussycats
in outer space ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

Oh, come on, please let
me steer for a while.

Golly, you think I was a
dummy or something.

Uh, Melody. Whoever said
you were a dummy?

Let me see now. There was you
and me and Alan and Alexandria



and Valerie and Alexander
and all my teachers

and my pet pig, Gerald and--

Look, Melody, steering this
ship out here in space

takes a special tact.

Then I could do it.
I'm as tacky as anybody.

[laughing]

Cut that yakking,
you blabbermouths.

There's something fishy
going on down there.

Holy smoke! It's
a flashing light.

(Valerie) 'I wonder
what it could be?'

(Melody) 'Maybe they're
opening a new supermarket.'

Look. The lights are
flashing in a regular pattern.

It must be some kinda code.

Be careful it might be catching.

Last week I had a very bad code.

(Valerie) 'No, Melody.
They're sending a message.'

'Quick, somebody
write this down.'

Okay, Val, go ahead.

(Valerie) 'Long, long, short.
Long, short, short, long.'

'Long, long..'

- Hold it.
- 'What's the matter?'

How do you spell long?

Sheesh, Melody.

You've got a brain
like a brontosaurus.

Oh, thank you. My teeth
are very nice too.

See.

Bleep bleep bleep bleep.

Bleep? Bleep, bleep?

- Bleep!
- The message said, "Help!"

Bleep bleep.

Some one down there
is in trouble.

(Melody) 'Bleep is almost as
good at messages as I am.'

(Valerie) 'That's exactly
what it says.'

"Come quickly.
We need help."

Then we've got to
land and help them.

Huh? Are you kidding?

We don't know how to land
this ship. We'll crash.

Oh, stop cackling, chicken brother

or you're gonna get tagged
right in the tail feathers.

Josie's right.

If someone's in trouble,
we have to try and help 'em.

Stand by for emergency descent.

Stand by for emergency descent.

Stand by for emergency descent.

How do you spell emergency?

Boy, it was one chance
in a million

that we'd see the signals
they were sending.

(Alan) 'They're sure a
bunch of lucky guys.'

Ah-ha, the strange
foreign spaceship

has fallen into our trap.

Soon its passengers
will be our prisoners.

Yes, Merla. More warriors
for your army.

And if there are any
men among them

they will become more household
servants to cook and clean.

Keep our homes in order.

[laughing]

Forever!

[hissing]

[rattling]

Come on. Let's see who
called for help.

- That's the word. Help!
- 'Stop.'

(Merla) 'Stay where you are,
you scrawny creature.'

'You'll not attempt
to escape.'

- No, sir. I m-me..
- 'What? '

- I give up.
- Where are we?

You're now on the
planet of Amazonia.

And I am its leader, Merla.

Wow! The last time I saw a
corny outfit like that

my grandmother was trying to
dump it at a rummage sale.

Will you pipe down, Alexandra?

We're already in more hot
water than a boiled egg.

You allow him to speak to
you in that manner?

'He is a mere man.'

Huh, man? Me?

[chuckles] Yes, yes.
Me man. Me, me.

You woman. Ha ha. Me man.

Here on Amazonia if a man
talks back to a woman

he is immediately imprisoned.

Seize him and throw him
into the dungeon.

Wait. No, no, no.
I'm not a man. I'm a boy. See.

[nervous chuckle]
I'm just a kid.

Stand back! Leave him alone.

Throw that man in the dungeon too.

Get away!
I-I'm very breakable.

We can get away, gang.
Come on. Cut out.

Let's go.
Slip through 'em, kids.

- 'Okay, move.'
- 'Which way?'

- 'Any old way.'
- Stop them. Quickly.

[crunch] Ow!

[thud]

Thanks, Sebastian.

For once, you did
something right.

It is useless for the rest of
you to resist. Surrender!

Could we have a little time
to think about it, please?

- 'Maybe a year?'
- Capture them. Now!

Hold on, gang.
It's rock time.

[rattling]

I am the ruler here...
Oh!

And I order you to stop this
infernal machine at once.

Golly! I think Alan
shook up Merla.

[laughs]

Okay, gang.

(Josie) Hurry.

You, Halia. Go back
inside their spaceship

and stop it from shaking
itself to pieces.

- Yes, Merla.
- Quickly, my air shuttle.

We will catch them.

[whistle blows]

[whirring]

That way.

We better break up
into small groups.

- It'll be safer.
- Good idea.

Alexander and Valerie,
you lead one group.

Josie and I will lead the other.

Let's get outta here before they
zero in on where we're hiding.

(Merla) 'Too late. We have
already learned where you are hiding.'

And this time you do not have

your diabolical machines
to help you escape. Capture them!

Break for it, gang.
They can't catch all of us.

(Merla) 'I order all
of you to halt!'

Oh, spin off, sister.
Nobody captures me

with that kind of a dumb
outer space hot rod.

Release pressure air stream.

[sizzling]

Hey, what's with you?

Poor me! Poor me! Ooh!

Watch out for
their air blaster.

I'll duck under that jet stream.

Stop her!

Oh!

Alan, help!

I'll jump this thing.
Missed me.

Ah!

Meow!

Glad you could
join us, Sebastian.

I think I'm falling apart. Oh.

Wee! It's like rolling on a log.

Wee!

Woop!

Golly! I'm one of the Jetsons.

Wee!

Catch your brakes, Melody.

Thank you. It was a
very nice ride.

But I missed the popcorn.
Ha ha.

Do you need further
proof of my power?

Or are you prepared
to surrender now?

Look, we don't believe
in surrender.

So why don't you try quit?

- Quit?
- 'We'll do it. We'll do it.'

You women will be
inducted into my army.

As for you mere men..

'...it's hard labor until
we decide what to do with you.'

Oh, yeah? Ha ha!

You'll never get away with it.
Never! Do you hear?

[laughing]

So I'm a punk prophet.

May I ask why you gentlemen

have been imprisoned here
in this dungeon?

Well, I'm not sure exactly.

Something about talking
back to a woman.

Talking back to a woman!

Oh, dear, oh, dear.
You're lucky.

Oh, yes, very lucky.

Lucky to be stuck in this
Amazonian cellblock?

'Oh, yes, indeed.'

You probably got off lightly
because you're strangers.

Most men who talk back to women

are exiled to islands
in the Frozen Sea.

Oh, boy. Instant icebergs.

Well, what's wrong with
talking back to a woman?

- All we said was--
- 'Shh, it's against the law.'

If they hear you, we shall all
be exiled to the Frozen Sea.

Now, now, wait a minute.

Are you trying to tell us that
only women are in charge here?

Of course. Aren't they
in charge everywhere?

Well, not officially.

Women in charge of everything?

Oh, boy! I can't believe it.

Quiet! No loud talking in there.

Now I can believe it.

Alex, we've gotta figure a way

to get outta here in a hurry.

So we can find the girls.

- I'm worried about them.
- Me too.

I'm worried that they won't
get here in time to save us.

(Merla) 'One, two. Left, right.
That's it.'

'One, two. Left, right.'

'One, two. Left,
right and halt.'

Phew! I wish we didn't have
to wear these clumsy boots.

So do I. They're terribly
unflattering to my feet.

I congratulate you.

You're rapidly learning the
ways of the Amazonians.

Oh, thank you. There's just
one thing that bothers me.

What is that?

Which is my right foot
and which is my left?

I'm getting awfully tired
of guessing. Ha ha ha.

Don't worry, Melody.
They'll teach you.

Oh, I hope so. I do an awful
lot of tripping this way.

Left, right, left..
whoops!

See what I mean?
Ha ha ha.

Mm, this one will take
special training.

Now, attention. Soon you
will be one of us.

Prepared to help us conquer all
those who stand in our way.

You will be true Amazonians.

And you will not be stopped by
anything in your past lives.

I wonder what she means by that?

- I don't know.
- I don't know either.

I don't know either, what?

Everything is solid!
Crazy!

We've to figure out
a way to escape.

Sure, sure. Why don't we just
ask for a baseball and bat?

And then pow, pow, pow

three strikes and we're
out, right? Ha ha ha.

Get it, three strikes
and we're..

Alexander.

You've given me a
sensational idea.

You're kidding.
I mean, I have?

A baseball game?
Oh ho ho.

Ol' Casey Alexander
comes to bat, right?

Well, it's a little different
kind of a game.

A pretending game.

Sir, will you help us?
Do you want to escape?

Oh, thank you, yes.

Six months in this dungeon just
for double-parking my goat.

Oh, that's too much.

Good. Now, here's what
we're gonna do.

Alexander, you're going to
pretend that you have an...

(Alexander) 'Help! Help!'

'I have some strange mysterious
undiscovered illness.'

'Oh!'

What is it, prisoner?
What's wrong?

(Alexander) 'Ah, I can't
hear you. Come closer.'

'Oh, oh. Oh, closer.'

Well, well. Speak out.

You mean sneak out. Bye.

Wait. What have you..

So, trickery.

[laughs] Didn't know I could
throw my voice better than anybody

in my whole school. Did ya?
Huh? Hey, dig this.

[imitates woman]
Hello there.

[laughs] Man, don't you feel
silly talking to a dumb old blanket

'when nobody's in it, huh?'

So, you men from another
world are magicians?

Yup, that's me,
Alexander the great.

[laughs]

Come on. Don't just stand there.

- We've got to find the girls.
- Huh? Okay.

Bye. Don't take any wooden
ventriloquist, huh?

[laughs]

This time you have won

but your tricks will not deceive
Merla. She will vanquish you.

Come on, don't just stand there.
We've gotta find the girls.

Let's vanquish, uh, uh, vanish.

- Alex, hold on.
- We shall follow him.

He's heading for the
warrior barracks. Come.

Yes, that is where the
warriors live.

But men are not allowed
to approach it.

And it is guarded closely.

Do not try to enter.
It is too dangerous.

Don't worry.
There's nothing to it.

Yeah, don't worry.
There's nothing to it.

You're coming too, Alex.

Uh, you heard what the man said.
It's too dangerous.

Grolox, you wait here.
We'll be back with our friends.

I'd rather be back
playing baseball.

Okay, just pretend
you're stealing home.

Home, home, I wanna go home.

Oh ho ho ho.
Oh ho ho ho.

Shh. Knock off the chatter.

[chattering sound] 'Alex, shh.
Now I can here your teeth chattering.'

(Alexander) 'That's not my
teeth chattering, it's my knees knockin'.'

(Alan) 'Keep crawling.
The barracks are right over there.'

You know something?

I'm actually starting to enjoy
polishing everything this way.

So am I. It's good exercise.

It sure is.

My boots just lost three pounds.
Ha ha ha.

I've got to talk to that Merla
about redesigning my uniform.

What's the matter with
the one you're wearing?

What's the matter with it?
Are you kidding?

It looks just like
everybody else's.

And I'm not going to
put up with that.

First of all,
I want a brand new--

Psst. Psst.

- Hey. Psst.
- What was that?

I think somebody just let
the air out of a tire.

[giggles]

- It's us.
- Right over here.

Bleep bleep bleep bleep.

Meow.

Hi, girls. Wow!
Are we glad to see you.

Yeah, and that goes
double ditto for me.

Hey, about those outfits
you're wearing..

[laughs] 'When's Halloween?'

Now, come on, let's get outta
here and back to our spaceship.

- 'Who are you?'
- What are you doing here?

Don't you know that men aren't
allowed in this building?

Hey, come on. Stop kidding around.
We don't have time.

How dare you talk to us like that!
You are a mere man.

Whatever that means.
Ha ha ha!

You're putting us on, right?

I mean this is just
a-a big joke, uh?

Isn't it? Isn't it? Huh?

I don't know who you are or
what you're trying to do?

So we're going to turn
you in to Merla.

- Sound the alarm.
- 'Right.'

[alarm blaring]

Hey, cut that out.

You'll wake up the
whole planet.

Boy, are you gonna get it now,
you big babbling blockhead.

- Meow.
- bleep bleep bleep.

- Out the window.
- You bet.

(Alexander) 'Bye.'

It's the spookiest
thing I ever saw.

They didn't even know us.

Alexandra didn't
even holler at me.

Oh ho ho ho.

Sebastian and Bleep.
They knew us.

So it must be something
Merla did to the girls.

- They've been brainwashed.
- 'Right.'

- And we've got to unwash 'em.
- 'But how?'

Well, we take the line
of least resistance.

- Huh?
- 'The weakest brain.'

- Melody.
- Exactly. Come on.

♪ La di da di ya ♪

♪ Oh happy Amazonia ♪

♪ La di da di du ♪

♪ Oh happy Amazoniu ♪

♪ La di da di oop La di da di ♪

♪ Oh happy Amazonia ♪

♪ Hum di um ♪♪

Melody. I know you don't
recognize us, but please listen.

- Before you try and--
- Oh, hi, Alan.

Hi, Alexander.

What do you mean
I don't recognize you?

Why, I know you as well as I
know my pet chipmunk, Lester.

Uh...what happened?
She knows us.

Why shouldn't I know you?

Golly, we've been flying around
in that cute little spaceship

together ever since..

- Who are you?
- What?

Melody, a minute ago you--

What are you doing here?
You are mere men.

And on this planet, men are
interior creatures.

Uh, that's inferior, but I
think I see what's going on.

Melody, may I look at the
ring for a minute?

Alright, interior creature.

But you'd better give
it back or I'll..

Oh, hello there, Alan.
Where you been?

That's it. The ring.

Merla controls her women
warriors through these rings.

Once they take them off
they're out of her power.

A remote control ring.

- Now I've seen everything.
- And I've got a plan.

We're gonna use those rings to
get the other girls back.

Now, Melody. The success of
our plan depends on you.

- We're in trouble.
- 'I know. We've gotta risk it.'

Now, Merla and the other
women warriors

would probably like to hear
some music by the Pussycats.

'So, Melody, what you
have to do is..'

Very well. My warriors and
I are willing to listen to your..

What do you call it?
Oh, yes, rock music.

'It should be an
interesting diversion.'

I'm pretty good at long diversion.

But I flunked subtraction.

[chuckles]

Okay, Melody, let's start.

One and a two, and..

♪ Universal Brotherhood ♪

♪ Couldn't you ♪

♪ You know you could ♪

♪ If you see somebody
deep in trouble ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ If they need your help come
runnin' on the double ♪

♪ And you'll be
unbelievably happy ♪

♪ In a most believable way.. ♪♪

We shall hear more of this.
Prepare to play again.

Val, listen carefully.

Alan wants us to sneak
away as soon as--

Who's Alan? Why should
we want to sneak away?

Oops, I forgot.

Valerie, your tambourine
sounds funny.

I think maybe that ring
is getting in the way.

What happened?
What are we doing here?

Don't ask me.

I've got enough
trouble remembering

what I'm supposed to do next.

Oh, yes. Josie!

'Josie, that ring makes
your hand look so heavy.'

'Isn't it getting in your way?'

I don't know. I'll see.
Why are we here? Where's Alan?

I can't remember much longer.

Come on, let's get out of here.

What are they doing?
Stop them.

Yes, what are they doing?
Stop them.

Melody, you didn't get
the ring off Alexandra.

Golly! I knew there was
something I forgot.

Find those runaways.

[upbeat music]

[whirring]

[music continues]

[whirring]

- Do you think it's safe?
- I think we lost 'em.

And look, we found our spaceship.

Okay, gang.
Let's make a dash for it.

There they go, across
that clearing.

(Alan) Hurry, gang.

(Alexander) Let's start this
firecracker and blow this place.

They found their spaceship.
Down there. Quickly!

Hurry! Before they can leave.

Too late.
Ram their control surfaces.

Prepare to blast off.

All prepared to blast off.

- Gyro set.
- 'Then go already.'

(Merla) Hit them quickly!

[coughing]

- We made it.
- Atta boy, Alan.

- Whoopee!
- Fantastic!

Yes, 32 degrees,
north by north-east.

Hold that course, and
I'm sure it'll take us

right back to Earth.

- Back to Earth!
- Oh, boy!

Hey, how about letting
me steer for a while?

- I'd be great at it.
- I don't know, Alex.

When you're fighting
gravity like this

you can't let go of the steering
control for a second.

Don't worry, don't worry.

I'll hang on like a bulldog.

Okay, grab hold
and don't let go.

(Alexander) 'Relax. You can
trust me like a brother.'

Hey, he's doing it.
Oh, good work, Alexander.

Atta boy. That's the way.

(Melody) 'Golly!
You're keen, Alexander.'

Val, I think you have competition.

Another mechanical genius.

Thank you, friends. Thank you.

(Valerie) 'Alexander,
the control. Watch out!'

(Josie) 'No, don't let go. No!'

Isn't it exciting!

(Alexandra) 'What happened
to the spaceship?'

We're way off course.
We're lost again.

Your brother did it
this time, Alexandra.

Well, I've got it
under control.

But who knows where
we're heading.

[Alexander laughs]
'Look at it this way, kids.'

Uh, now we just have more time
to get acquainted, right?

[nervous chuckle]
I was only kidding.

Can't you take a joke,
huh? Heh-heh.

Why you girls staring at me?

Alexandra, help! Help,
your baby brother.

(Alexander) 'Alan, mere
man's in trouble again.'

'Oh ho ho ho.'

Ressynch: Kilo

[theme song]

♪ They're blasting off now ♪

♪ Josie's on a rocket ride ♪

♪ Pussycats all by her side ♪

♪ Bleep Bleep is
the kooky guide ♪

♪ Come along and
dig the chase ♪

♪ With the Pussycats
in outer space ♪

♪ The Pussycats
in outer space ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪