Jordbrukerne (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode 2 - full transcript
The Organization chose me
because they know I'm a professional.
These can't be ours.
No one told us there were animals.
I promised Håkon I'd take care
of his goats until you got here.
I don't give a shit
what you do from here on out.
One thing I've learned
when it comes to kidnapping, -
- is that it's extremely stressful.
Who's calling?
Are we wanted by the law?
And no matter what people say,
it doesn't help to dye your hair.
Hello there!
Hi, dad.
What happened? What's going on?
You weren't on the plane.
We can't have them here!
You're three grown men.
You'll figure it out.
Don't worry.
We had some problems
with Kiki's passport.
She was missing a stamp.
So I have to take care of that first.
Are you guys going to help me,
or what?
Please, dad.
Don't make a big deal ...
Marwan, just listen to me.
I'm going to lose face.
There is no problem. All is good.
We'll be there in a week. I swear.
-Okay, salaam.
-Salaam beresoon. Khuda hafiz.
COUNTRYMEN
Marwan.
Kiki.
And now these goats?
-We have to call off the mission.
-What?
Girl kidnapped in Oslo.
Manhunt after possible kidnapping.
What are you doing?
-Who's this?
-Why are you taking down pictures?
That's Tariq's brother.
No.
It's Tariq's uncle.
Okay.
Why ask,
when you know who it is?
Why do you have your phone at the table,
when you're not allowed?
She's smart,
but doesn't know when to be smart.
Fine, I've put it away.
Now eat your food.
So, brother Knut Tariq,
what's your suggestion?
It was your idea to come here.
Because we have fertilizer here.
And enough goats to open a McDonald's,
khair inshallah.
Seriously?
-Look at Khabib.
-Let's slaughter them.
He wants to feed them
and butcher them.
All these goats cost money.
We don't have any more money.
With 100 goats, no one will think
we have time to make any "medicine."
We already have a cover story.
Tubers and root vegetables.
My job was to fix the tractor and
to plow. Your job was the medicine.
I refuse to take part
in any butchering.
Brothers, let's use some hikmah.
Please.
Slaughtering will draw
too much attention.
Let the neighbors think
we're taking care of them.
That will give us a double cover.
Whatever you want.
I intend to complete our plan.
-Have you talked to him?
-Who is he?
Leopold.
What is he doing here?
No one should be here but us.
He's just going to show us the ropes.
But this can ruin everything.
We can't have people ...
-Are you scared of goats?
-He tried to bite me!
Be serious!
What if this guy screws up our plan?
You remember our plan, right?
First.
Check quality.
White, good.
Wash.
Lock and load.
-Lock and load.
-Rock and roll?
No, lock and load.
Morning, evening.
-You try.
-He can try.
Okay, I can try.
Bismillah.
Knut Tariq, can you help me?
Try pushing harder.
-Is anything coming out?
-No.
Does milk come from both sides?
Both, I think.
I don't know.
Brother!
Khabib, please help us.
-Brother, we need help.
-Come on, brother!
I don't like goats.
You see -
- this machine.
They -
- didn't use, long time.
They make something here.
-Cheese.
-Yes.
But -
- they used to ...
Let's go.
Can you please stop doing that?
It's annoying!
Okay.
Are you giving up?
Have you completely lost your mind?
-Anyone can see this.
-But no one comes here.
What do you mean?
Someone is here now.
He's leaving. He just showed us
how to milk the goats.
Stop talking to me about those goats!
-Sorry.
-And hang a curtain in front of this.
Inshallah.
No more visitors!
Inshallah.
Get out here, Khabib.
-Don't tell Tariq.
-You don't think he'll smell it?
-What's up?
-Maybe Khabib can explain.
We had a leak.
But it isn't my fault.
Be careful, Khabib!
You're scaring the kid!
I told you not to drive so fast!
You telling me I can't drive?
This took me eight months!
Why not pack it better?
What's the hurry?
Hurry?
You were driving!
I love my brother,
but he doesn't know how to drive.
I was driving
while you were in diapers.
Get more at the pharmacy.
You want to go to the pharmacy
and say you've had 140 heart attacks?
It's used for heart medicine.
That's why it's hard to find.
Are you going to town?
We're going to the dump.
Khabib's staying here.
Can I go with you?
I need to go to the store.
-What about Kiki?
-She'll be fine here.
Maybe Khabib can keep an eye on her.
Could you keep an eye on Kiki?
Babysit your daughter?
-Would you mind?
-Aren't you on vacation together?
-She won't be a problem.
-No!
We'll be back in two hours.
No!
Brother, aren't you staying here?
Still no!
I don't babysit.
Hello!
Have you stopped talking to me?
Hey, beard!
What did you call me?
Didn't your mother
teach you to behave?
My mommy is dead.
So is mine.
But I still behave.
Isn't that my jacket?
No, it's mine.
-Give me my jacket!
-No!
You're a thief.
Know what we do with thieves?
No.
Put your hand there.
Okay ...
-Will you give me my jacket?
-No.
-Are you sure?
-Mhm.
-Give me my jacket.
-No.
-Give me my jacket!
-No.
Isn't that old "lock and load"?
Does he work here too?
I do fixing bikes, plumbing,
driving a bus, milking ...
Facebook page.
You can check me out.
Lock and load!
Lock and load!
Morning, evening?
But actually, -
- I'm a graduate from the film school.
I have a lot of good ideas
and really ...
-Where should I meet you?
-We can pick you up here.
-Salaam alaykum.
-Alaykum ... whatever.
Son of a fuck!
Damn!
That's called -
- the Electric Shock.
Learned it in Kongsvinger.
You guys lost?
No, someone told us -
- that this is the local dump.
You got that right.
This is a garbage dump.
You've got lots of cool ...
I'm Bucket.
I had a little accident.
Check this out.
That Freon sure does stick.
Fuckin' A!
Nice cut. I'm no doctor,
but you might want to call one.
Are you off your rocker?
I disinfected it with moonshine.
It's more disinfected
than a boob-job scalpel.
Hey!
Don't touch that.
I'm just messing with you.
Rub it like it was your momma.
I won't touch anything.
You're funny.
I've even done standup.
Bucket?
Is that a nickname?
Nope, that's my name.
Mom's snatch was so wide
I dropped right into a bucket.
-Nice business card, anyway.
-Thanks.
I used Photoshop.
A jack of all trades.
Can you move?
The reason we're here -
- is we need to get rid of some stuff.
Something dangerous?
Something shady?
We keep a lot of stuff here.
And whatever we don't keep, we sell.
That's what we do.
Anyway, this is my dad's old dump.
-He's no longer with us.
-My condolences.
No, he's in Spain. Marrakesh.
I just mean he's not here.
Prancing around in their fancy gowns, -
- with those nice beards ...
-Is this what you use?
-This is it.
Built it myself,
out of an old crematory.
That can't be good for the environment.
Dioxin and furan
go right through here.
I don't know if they use balsam.
My beard is all bristly.
Theirs are nice and smooth.
I throw in a little sodium hydroxide
to counteract it.
Sodium hydroxide?
To suppress the gases?
And the waste?
Most of it is converted to NaCl.
The rest I sell to the paper mill.
-So you have sodium hydroxide here?
-Nope. Ran out.
Where do you find it?
You can't exactly buy it
at the local store.
True.
Know the right people, -
- and you can find
pretty much whatever you want.
Don't worry.
We'll figure something out.
I told you it was better
with lots of water.
I knew it was too spicy.
For you, maybe.
I can hardly taste it.
Why won't you wear your own jacket?
I didn't bring it.
Why not?
Daddy said we were going
somewhere warm.
-He did?
-Yes.
He promised.
Did he say
what that warm place was called?
He said I wasn't allowed to tell.
That's fine.
Secrets are meant to be kept.
What do you think?
Very suspicious.
I can feel it.
Something's off about him.
Nothing's happened yet,
but maybe it will?
I have to get back to my bus.
Keep up the surveillance here.
We'll talk later.
Sir, yes, sir!
Good.
But ...
Don't say that.
What, "sir"?
That's weird.
Dammit, Otto,
you've been gone for 20 minutes!
Take it easy.
It was five minutes.
Five minutes?
Knut has already shit his pants.
You'd thank me
if you knew what I was doing.
We'd thank you
if you drove the damn bus!
Seriously, what are we doing here?
Bucket knows the principal.
He called her for us.
Just trust me.
How, when you
trust a guy called Bucket?
What were you talking about?
Sodium peroxide?
Sodium hydroxide.
We need it for ...
-For the medicine?
-Yeah.
Those things Khabib broke ...
We won't need that anymore,
if we can find some sodium hydroxide.
You're standing real close now.
Ever heard of social distancing?
Where are you going?
Tariq?
-Is it you Bucket called about?
-Yes.
The cops aren't after us.
But they were at my door.
No one will find us here.
Our pictures aren't in the paper.
KIKI KIDNAPPED
IN BROAD DAYLIGHT
WORLD'S YOUNGEST
CHESS CHAMPION
Just breathe.
Nice and easy.
I learned that
from a yoga instructor.
Everything is fine.
Everything is perfect.
Wait!
Now I need a wrench.
-Is this it?
-Yes. Good job.
Are you one of them?
Are you one of them?
-Huh?
-Those new fellows at Håkon's farm.
I'm sure you're one of them.
No, I'm just visiting them.
But yes, they're my friends.
Wait here.
I intended to go out to the farm -
- with a welcome gift
from the Chamber of Commerce.
But my dog's alone at home.
Could you give this to them?
-Give it to them?
-Yes.
-Do you know what their plans are?
-I have no idea.
Then make sure you give them this.
In case they want to apply for
a startup grant.
We're a very innovative municipality.
-And sustainable.
-Great.
So we accept all kinds.
Wow, that ...
Anyway, remember to tell them that.
I sure will.
-I have a what?
-A job interview. On Monday.
Brother ...
-Listen, Knut Tariq Sørensen ...
-Just Tariq.
He always has to bring up things
from when I was jahil.
My name isn't Knut anymore.
Brother, listen to me.
It's the only idea I came up with.
If you get access to the school,
you can order those chemicals.
Why not you or Khabib?
You're the only one
who's actually qualified.
Was that fun?
Yes, that was super fun!
-Hi!
-Daddy!
I drove the whole tractor!
I saw you. You were great!
Let me look at you.
I hope everything went okay.
Yes, we had
an interesting conversation.
Brother, come to the barn.
I also have something interesting.
He wants me to be a music teacher.
I've put my music behind me.
It's haram.
I'm not trying to make haram halal,
but look at the big picture.
- Good luck.
- Good job.
What bomb-making supplies
are we talking about?
We agreed on a code word,
let's use it.
Is it something we need
for our "medicine"?
Yes.
Adil, do it.
I refuse.
Tariq and I
will take care of the barn.
You go to that school
and do your job.
Enough said.
So this will be your kingdom.
Your classroom.
Don't use the word "old"
in front of the kids.
Use "retro" instead.
-You know kids.
-Retro. Got it.
This is just our analog collection.
You're probably more into -
- electronica.
Rave, trance, and so on?
Not really.
I mostly produced beats.
Hip-hop.
I love hip-hop.
Cool.
This application is complicated.
You want our names on an application
to send to the government?
And the deadline is tomorrow,
so I have to ...
-To the government?
-We aren't actually applying.
It's to avoid attracting more attention
than we already do.
So people don't think we have 100 goats
for no reason.
I didn't know you were this wise.
I went to an Eminem concert
a number of years ago.
Cool.
Eminem, -
- he's a true lyricist.
Isn't he, though?
Lyricist.
Cool!
Come on.
So this is my baby.
Tupac -
- or Biggie?
Huh?
Tupac or Biggie?
Tupac.
Is it okay if I borrow this?
I found it down on that bench.
That's a working jacket.
And I need help in the barn,
so come with me.
Sorry, but I have a backache.
I've had this sharp pain.
That may sound like an excuse, -
- but I mentioned it to Tariq ...
No, it was Adil I spoke to.
I told him I have this pain ...
I never heard,
what is it you actually do?
I studied business administration.
That wasn't my question.
I worked in
a debt-collection agency.
-A debt-collection agency?
-Yes.
How appropriate.
Good luck with your back.
Can everyone sit down?
Okay, folks!
This is ... Adeel.
Adil is fine.
Hi, Adil.
Adil, can you introduce yourself?
Anyway,
Adil is our new music teacher.
From Oslo, no less.
Wasn't this a job interview?
No, you're in!
-What about my résumé?
-No need. Welcome!
Let's start over there.
Hi.
My name is Patrik.
I teach math and phys ed.
Hanna?
Hanna.
Social studies and English.
My name is Olivier Milland.
I am from France.
Bonjour.
I don't speak French.
No problemo!
I am in Rauland -
- because I love
a Norwegian woman.
Did you mention what you teach?
He teaches science.
Oh, science,
as in chemistry and such?
Yes, physics, biology, chemistry ...
Excellent.
Thank you, Olivier.
So, Marwan, you must know
about things like this.
Applications and stuff.
Could you have a look ...?
Is this a business plan?
For that startup grant?
Is it good to go?
-Well ...
-Yeah?
You're missing ...
What's your product?
What's your vision?
Start with those two things.
What is your product? Whatever you're
making in the cheesemaking room.
Butter or cheese or whatever it is.
-They make something here.
-Cheese.
Good. So write cheese,
and write your vision.
Product and vision. Start with that.
I can check it afterwards.
Would you rather
we look at it together?
-Hi!
-Oh, right, it's you.
How did things go?
Have you settled in?
-Yeah, no problem.
-The whole gang?
-Are you already done, Ingeborg?
-Yeah, all set.
Bye!
How do you know Ingeborg?
Huh?
Has she caught you with ...
What do you mean?
Hi, hi!
Hi.
Everything okay?
-Need some water or something?
-No, I just ...
Are you the new music teacher?
Yes.
Okay, that's cool.
Has someone broken the law
here at school?
No, I'm a -
- moped ...
Moped instructor.
-You're a cop and work here?
-Yeah, it's a ... combination.
Anyway,
I'm heading home now, if you ...
Ingeborg, do we have class
with you tomorrow?
No, what day is ...
-What should we write?
-Slice some peppers.
Don't ... Khabib, I don't want her
playing with knives.
-But I want to cut the peppers!
-I don't care. No knives.
She's helping me cook.
So would you like a ride?
-Sure, but ...
-Yes!
That's nice of you,
but I'm being picked up.
Then I'll see you later.
Since I teach here too.
-Thanks for asking, Ingeborg.
-Sure. Bye!
I don't want my daughter using knives.
Please respect that.
-She can cut herself.
-No, I can't!
What's next?
We have to write a 5-year plan.
Brother, I'm so sorry!
I completely forgot.
Hello!
I'm so sorry.
That smells great.
It smells like bullshit!
Knut Tariq, I have dibs on the car
from here on out.
Let's go, Kiki.
Nice hair.
We aren't talking about it later.
We agreed that ...
Sorry.
I was working on that application, -
- and then I fed Muazzen, and ...
Did you touch Muazzen?
I told you not to touch Muazzen.
Stop touching my cat!
Ah, so you have a cat.
Astagfirullah!
What?
Listen, I'm fine now.
And I'm sure you're starving.
It's okay.
I can wait until you feel better.
I am pretty hungry,
but today was a lot of fun.
My first time
in the front of a police car.
I've never been in the back, either.
You know what I mean.
But sorry I couldn't drive you.
Born and raised in downtown Oslo.
Never needed a license.
So you just took the subway?
-Or taxis?
-Or pirate taxis. Whatever works.
If you want, I can help you get
your moped license.
Yeah.
Thanks, but no thanks.
I heard you and your buddy argue.
And I have mopeds you could borrow.
Then you could get to work.
I have a buddy.
His name is Jimmy Baghdad.
He took his moped license
and got himself a moped.
Crashed straight into a storefront.
Owes money all over.
So I don't touch mopeds.
Thanks anyway.
Did he do anything suspicious at all?
Newspapers?
Remember which ones?
Hey, Otto!
Any good routes today?
Two large kebabs.
By the way ...
You and that principal.
Freia.
-Do you guys have a beef?
-A beef?
-Have you argued? Are you enemies?
-Not at all.
She's just mad -
- because I told her to stop
trying to buy marijuana.
Seriously?
What happened?
Some kids sold some to her.
But it turned out to be oregano.
She was so pissed!
It's true.
Put that away now.
Respect your food.
Bismillah.
Bismillah!
-You don't have to say that.
-I want to.
Well, you don't have to.
Something you want to say?
Could you please not teach her
things like that?
I haven't taught her anything.
Feel free to use your fork.
That's why it's there.
Not on your bread.
I need a fork!
That's where our taxes are going.
She should be doing this, not us.
Look at them.
Disgusting.
I need a fork.
Could I have a fork
and ten napkins?
They just come here to mate.
Mate?
No.
That isn't what I meant, Bengt.
Fucking foreigners.
That's enough!
-Sir, yes, sir.
-What the hell, Bengt?
-See you at school.
-That was fun. Bye.
No!
No, no!
No, no, no!
Disneyland?
Really?
You bastard!
I did learn one other thing,
regarding that kidnapping ...
What does that stand for?
Mixed martial arts.
Khabib is a serious fighter.
What MMA stands for.
Khabib, what are you doing?
Let him go!
Are you trying to kill him?
Let go!
What are you doing?
Keep it down!
Kiki is asleep over there.
He has one-way tickets to Iran.
I doubted him from the first second.
-How do you know about the tickets?
-I saw them.
And checked his phone.
He kidnapped her.
Who would kidnap their own daughter?
He loves her.
-He has searched on Google.
-No, listen to me.
They'll take her away from me.
The authorities will take Kiki from me.
My girlfriend died, okay?
And after that, her parents -
- applied for custody of my daughter.
Kiki's grandparents
are going to get custody -
- because they'll make me look
like a bad father.
And the court will believe them
more than me.
I didn't mean to cause trouble.
We'll leave, as soon as Stix
gets us our passports.
Have you lost your mind?
Do you actually trust Stix?
-Do you?
-Is there any reason not to?
We can't have him here.
It's too dangerous.
We should have listened to Khabib.
He was right.
Shit.
Do you think he'll call the cops?
He's no threat.
And he can help with the application.
I don't care about that!
It's too dangerous.
Sorry, boys.
I ruined everything.
Adil.
Yeah?
It's up to you.
Do you trust him?
We've talked.
And we have decided ...
That you can stay.
But ...
On certain conditions.
One:
You stay away from other people.
No more trips to town, okay?
Two:
You leave here as soon as possible.
And three:
You're responsible for everything
to do with the goat barn.
because they know I'm a professional.
These can't be ours.
No one told us there were animals.
I promised Håkon I'd take care
of his goats until you got here.
I don't give a shit
what you do from here on out.
One thing I've learned
when it comes to kidnapping, -
- is that it's extremely stressful.
Who's calling?
Are we wanted by the law?
And no matter what people say,
it doesn't help to dye your hair.
Hello there!
Hi, dad.
What happened? What's going on?
You weren't on the plane.
We can't have them here!
You're three grown men.
You'll figure it out.
Don't worry.
We had some problems
with Kiki's passport.
She was missing a stamp.
So I have to take care of that first.
Are you guys going to help me,
or what?
Please, dad.
Don't make a big deal ...
Marwan, just listen to me.
I'm going to lose face.
There is no problem. All is good.
We'll be there in a week. I swear.
-Okay, salaam.
-Salaam beresoon. Khuda hafiz.
COUNTRYMEN
Marwan.
Kiki.
And now these goats?
-We have to call off the mission.
-What?
Girl kidnapped in Oslo.
Manhunt after possible kidnapping.
What are you doing?
-Who's this?
-Why are you taking down pictures?
That's Tariq's brother.
No.
It's Tariq's uncle.
Okay.
Why ask,
when you know who it is?
Why do you have your phone at the table,
when you're not allowed?
She's smart,
but doesn't know when to be smart.
Fine, I've put it away.
Now eat your food.
So, brother Knut Tariq,
what's your suggestion?
It was your idea to come here.
Because we have fertilizer here.
And enough goats to open a McDonald's,
khair inshallah.
Seriously?
-Look at Khabib.
-Let's slaughter them.
He wants to feed them
and butcher them.
All these goats cost money.
We don't have any more money.
With 100 goats, no one will think
we have time to make any "medicine."
We already have a cover story.
Tubers and root vegetables.
My job was to fix the tractor and
to plow. Your job was the medicine.
I refuse to take part
in any butchering.
Brothers, let's use some hikmah.
Please.
Slaughtering will draw
too much attention.
Let the neighbors think
we're taking care of them.
That will give us a double cover.
Whatever you want.
I intend to complete our plan.
-Have you talked to him?
-Who is he?
Leopold.
What is he doing here?
No one should be here but us.
He's just going to show us the ropes.
But this can ruin everything.
We can't have people ...
-Are you scared of goats?
-He tried to bite me!
Be serious!
What if this guy screws up our plan?
You remember our plan, right?
First.
Check quality.
White, good.
Wash.
Lock and load.
-Lock and load.
-Rock and roll?
No, lock and load.
Morning, evening.
-You try.
-He can try.
Okay, I can try.
Bismillah.
Knut Tariq, can you help me?
Try pushing harder.
-Is anything coming out?
-No.
Does milk come from both sides?
Both, I think.
I don't know.
Brother!
Khabib, please help us.
-Brother, we need help.
-Come on, brother!
I don't like goats.
You see -
- this machine.
They -
- didn't use, long time.
They make something here.
-Cheese.
-Yes.
But -
- they used to ...
Let's go.
Can you please stop doing that?
It's annoying!
Okay.
Are you giving up?
Have you completely lost your mind?
-Anyone can see this.
-But no one comes here.
What do you mean?
Someone is here now.
He's leaving. He just showed us
how to milk the goats.
Stop talking to me about those goats!
-Sorry.
-And hang a curtain in front of this.
Inshallah.
No more visitors!
Inshallah.
Get out here, Khabib.
-Don't tell Tariq.
-You don't think he'll smell it?
-What's up?
-Maybe Khabib can explain.
We had a leak.
But it isn't my fault.
Be careful, Khabib!
You're scaring the kid!
I told you not to drive so fast!
You telling me I can't drive?
This took me eight months!
Why not pack it better?
What's the hurry?
Hurry?
You were driving!
I love my brother,
but he doesn't know how to drive.
I was driving
while you were in diapers.
Get more at the pharmacy.
You want to go to the pharmacy
and say you've had 140 heart attacks?
It's used for heart medicine.
That's why it's hard to find.
Are you going to town?
We're going to the dump.
Khabib's staying here.
Can I go with you?
I need to go to the store.
-What about Kiki?
-She'll be fine here.
Maybe Khabib can keep an eye on her.
Could you keep an eye on Kiki?
Babysit your daughter?
-Would you mind?
-Aren't you on vacation together?
-She won't be a problem.
-No!
We'll be back in two hours.
No!
Brother, aren't you staying here?
Still no!
I don't babysit.
Hello!
Have you stopped talking to me?
Hey, beard!
What did you call me?
Didn't your mother
teach you to behave?
My mommy is dead.
So is mine.
But I still behave.
Isn't that my jacket?
No, it's mine.
-Give me my jacket!
-No!
You're a thief.
Know what we do with thieves?
No.
Put your hand there.
Okay ...
-Will you give me my jacket?
-No.
-Are you sure?
-Mhm.
-Give me my jacket.
-No.
-Give me my jacket!
-No.
Isn't that old "lock and load"?
Does he work here too?
I do fixing bikes, plumbing,
driving a bus, milking ...
Facebook page.
You can check me out.
Lock and load!
Lock and load!
Morning, evening?
But actually, -
- I'm a graduate from the film school.
I have a lot of good ideas
and really ...
-Where should I meet you?
-We can pick you up here.
-Salaam alaykum.
-Alaykum ... whatever.
Son of a fuck!
Damn!
That's called -
- the Electric Shock.
Learned it in Kongsvinger.
You guys lost?
No, someone told us -
- that this is the local dump.
You got that right.
This is a garbage dump.
You've got lots of cool ...
I'm Bucket.
I had a little accident.
Check this out.
That Freon sure does stick.
Fuckin' A!
Nice cut. I'm no doctor,
but you might want to call one.
Are you off your rocker?
I disinfected it with moonshine.
It's more disinfected
than a boob-job scalpel.
Hey!
Don't touch that.
I'm just messing with you.
Rub it like it was your momma.
I won't touch anything.
You're funny.
I've even done standup.
Bucket?
Is that a nickname?
Nope, that's my name.
Mom's snatch was so wide
I dropped right into a bucket.
-Nice business card, anyway.
-Thanks.
I used Photoshop.
A jack of all trades.
Can you move?
The reason we're here -
- is we need to get rid of some stuff.
Something dangerous?
Something shady?
We keep a lot of stuff here.
And whatever we don't keep, we sell.
That's what we do.
Anyway, this is my dad's old dump.
-He's no longer with us.
-My condolences.
No, he's in Spain. Marrakesh.
I just mean he's not here.
Prancing around in their fancy gowns, -
- with those nice beards ...
-Is this what you use?
-This is it.
Built it myself,
out of an old crematory.
That can't be good for the environment.
Dioxin and furan
go right through here.
I don't know if they use balsam.
My beard is all bristly.
Theirs are nice and smooth.
I throw in a little sodium hydroxide
to counteract it.
Sodium hydroxide?
To suppress the gases?
And the waste?
Most of it is converted to NaCl.
The rest I sell to the paper mill.
-So you have sodium hydroxide here?
-Nope. Ran out.
Where do you find it?
You can't exactly buy it
at the local store.
True.
Know the right people, -
- and you can find
pretty much whatever you want.
Don't worry.
We'll figure something out.
I told you it was better
with lots of water.
I knew it was too spicy.
For you, maybe.
I can hardly taste it.
Why won't you wear your own jacket?
I didn't bring it.
Why not?
Daddy said we were going
somewhere warm.
-He did?
-Yes.
He promised.
Did he say
what that warm place was called?
He said I wasn't allowed to tell.
That's fine.
Secrets are meant to be kept.
What do you think?
Very suspicious.
I can feel it.
Something's off about him.
Nothing's happened yet,
but maybe it will?
I have to get back to my bus.
Keep up the surveillance here.
We'll talk later.
Sir, yes, sir!
Good.
But ...
Don't say that.
What, "sir"?
That's weird.
Dammit, Otto,
you've been gone for 20 minutes!
Take it easy.
It was five minutes.
Five minutes?
Knut has already shit his pants.
You'd thank me
if you knew what I was doing.
We'd thank you
if you drove the damn bus!
Seriously, what are we doing here?
Bucket knows the principal.
He called her for us.
Just trust me.
How, when you
trust a guy called Bucket?
What were you talking about?
Sodium peroxide?
Sodium hydroxide.
We need it for ...
-For the medicine?
-Yeah.
Those things Khabib broke ...
We won't need that anymore,
if we can find some sodium hydroxide.
You're standing real close now.
Ever heard of social distancing?
Where are you going?
Tariq?
-Is it you Bucket called about?
-Yes.
The cops aren't after us.
But they were at my door.
No one will find us here.
Our pictures aren't in the paper.
KIKI KIDNAPPED
IN BROAD DAYLIGHT
WORLD'S YOUNGEST
CHESS CHAMPION
Just breathe.
Nice and easy.
I learned that
from a yoga instructor.
Everything is fine.
Everything is perfect.
Wait!
Now I need a wrench.
-Is this it?
-Yes. Good job.
Are you one of them?
Are you one of them?
-Huh?
-Those new fellows at Håkon's farm.
I'm sure you're one of them.
No, I'm just visiting them.
But yes, they're my friends.
Wait here.
I intended to go out to the farm -
- with a welcome gift
from the Chamber of Commerce.
But my dog's alone at home.
Could you give this to them?
-Give it to them?
-Yes.
-Do you know what their plans are?
-I have no idea.
Then make sure you give them this.
In case they want to apply for
a startup grant.
We're a very innovative municipality.
-And sustainable.
-Great.
So we accept all kinds.
Wow, that ...
Anyway, remember to tell them that.
I sure will.
-I have a what?
-A job interview. On Monday.
Brother ...
-Listen, Knut Tariq Sørensen ...
-Just Tariq.
He always has to bring up things
from when I was jahil.
My name isn't Knut anymore.
Brother, listen to me.
It's the only idea I came up with.
If you get access to the school,
you can order those chemicals.
Why not you or Khabib?
You're the only one
who's actually qualified.
Was that fun?
Yes, that was super fun!
-Hi!
-Daddy!
I drove the whole tractor!
I saw you. You were great!
Let me look at you.
I hope everything went okay.
Yes, we had
an interesting conversation.
Brother, come to the barn.
I also have something interesting.
He wants me to be a music teacher.
I've put my music behind me.
It's haram.
I'm not trying to make haram halal,
but look at the big picture.
- Good luck.
- Good job.
What bomb-making supplies
are we talking about?
We agreed on a code word,
let's use it.
Is it something we need
for our "medicine"?
Yes.
Adil, do it.
I refuse.
Tariq and I
will take care of the barn.
You go to that school
and do your job.
Enough said.
So this will be your kingdom.
Your classroom.
Don't use the word "old"
in front of the kids.
Use "retro" instead.
-You know kids.
-Retro. Got it.
This is just our analog collection.
You're probably more into -
- electronica.
Rave, trance, and so on?
Not really.
I mostly produced beats.
Hip-hop.
I love hip-hop.
Cool.
This application is complicated.
You want our names on an application
to send to the government?
And the deadline is tomorrow,
so I have to ...
-To the government?
-We aren't actually applying.
It's to avoid attracting more attention
than we already do.
So people don't think we have 100 goats
for no reason.
I didn't know you were this wise.
I went to an Eminem concert
a number of years ago.
Cool.
Eminem, -
- he's a true lyricist.
Isn't he, though?
Lyricist.
Cool!
Come on.
So this is my baby.
Tupac -
- or Biggie?
Huh?
Tupac or Biggie?
Tupac.
Is it okay if I borrow this?
I found it down on that bench.
That's a working jacket.
And I need help in the barn,
so come with me.
Sorry, but I have a backache.
I've had this sharp pain.
That may sound like an excuse, -
- but I mentioned it to Tariq ...
No, it was Adil I spoke to.
I told him I have this pain ...
I never heard,
what is it you actually do?
I studied business administration.
That wasn't my question.
I worked in
a debt-collection agency.
-A debt-collection agency?
-Yes.
How appropriate.
Good luck with your back.
Can everyone sit down?
Okay, folks!
This is ... Adeel.
Adil is fine.
Hi, Adil.
Adil, can you introduce yourself?
Anyway,
Adil is our new music teacher.
From Oslo, no less.
Wasn't this a job interview?
No, you're in!
-What about my résumé?
-No need. Welcome!
Let's start over there.
Hi.
My name is Patrik.
I teach math and phys ed.
Hanna?
Hanna.
Social studies and English.
My name is Olivier Milland.
I am from France.
Bonjour.
I don't speak French.
No problemo!
I am in Rauland -
- because I love
a Norwegian woman.
Did you mention what you teach?
He teaches science.
Oh, science,
as in chemistry and such?
Yes, physics, biology, chemistry ...
Excellent.
Thank you, Olivier.
So, Marwan, you must know
about things like this.
Applications and stuff.
Could you have a look ...?
Is this a business plan?
For that startup grant?
Is it good to go?
-Well ...
-Yeah?
You're missing ...
What's your product?
What's your vision?
Start with those two things.
What is your product? Whatever you're
making in the cheesemaking room.
Butter or cheese or whatever it is.
-They make something here.
-Cheese.
Good. So write cheese,
and write your vision.
Product and vision. Start with that.
I can check it afterwards.
Would you rather
we look at it together?
-Hi!
-Oh, right, it's you.
How did things go?
Have you settled in?
-Yeah, no problem.
-The whole gang?
-Are you already done, Ingeborg?
-Yeah, all set.
Bye!
How do you know Ingeborg?
Huh?
Has she caught you with ...
What do you mean?
Hi, hi!
Hi.
Everything okay?
-Need some water or something?
-No, I just ...
Are you the new music teacher?
Yes.
Okay, that's cool.
Has someone broken the law
here at school?
No, I'm a -
- moped ...
Moped instructor.
-You're a cop and work here?
-Yeah, it's a ... combination.
Anyway,
I'm heading home now, if you ...
Ingeborg, do we have class
with you tomorrow?
No, what day is ...
-What should we write?
-Slice some peppers.
Don't ... Khabib, I don't want her
playing with knives.
-But I want to cut the peppers!
-I don't care. No knives.
She's helping me cook.
So would you like a ride?
-Sure, but ...
-Yes!
That's nice of you,
but I'm being picked up.
Then I'll see you later.
Since I teach here too.
-Thanks for asking, Ingeborg.
-Sure. Bye!
I don't want my daughter using knives.
Please respect that.
-She can cut herself.
-No, I can't!
What's next?
We have to write a 5-year plan.
Brother, I'm so sorry!
I completely forgot.
Hello!
I'm so sorry.
That smells great.
It smells like bullshit!
Knut Tariq, I have dibs on the car
from here on out.
Let's go, Kiki.
Nice hair.
We aren't talking about it later.
We agreed that ...
Sorry.
I was working on that application, -
- and then I fed Muazzen, and ...
Did you touch Muazzen?
I told you not to touch Muazzen.
Stop touching my cat!
Ah, so you have a cat.
Astagfirullah!
What?
Listen, I'm fine now.
And I'm sure you're starving.
It's okay.
I can wait until you feel better.
I am pretty hungry,
but today was a lot of fun.
My first time
in the front of a police car.
I've never been in the back, either.
You know what I mean.
But sorry I couldn't drive you.
Born and raised in downtown Oslo.
Never needed a license.
So you just took the subway?
-Or taxis?
-Or pirate taxis. Whatever works.
If you want, I can help you get
your moped license.
Yeah.
Thanks, but no thanks.
I heard you and your buddy argue.
And I have mopeds you could borrow.
Then you could get to work.
I have a buddy.
His name is Jimmy Baghdad.
He took his moped license
and got himself a moped.
Crashed straight into a storefront.
Owes money all over.
So I don't touch mopeds.
Thanks anyway.
Did he do anything suspicious at all?
Newspapers?
Remember which ones?
Hey, Otto!
Any good routes today?
Two large kebabs.
By the way ...
You and that principal.
Freia.
-Do you guys have a beef?
-A beef?
-Have you argued? Are you enemies?
-Not at all.
She's just mad -
- because I told her to stop
trying to buy marijuana.
Seriously?
What happened?
Some kids sold some to her.
But it turned out to be oregano.
She was so pissed!
It's true.
Put that away now.
Respect your food.
Bismillah.
Bismillah!
-You don't have to say that.
-I want to.
Well, you don't have to.
Something you want to say?
Could you please not teach her
things like that?
I haven't taught her anything.
Feel free to use your fork.
That's why it's there.
Not on your bread.
I need a fork!
That's where our taxes are going.
She should be doing this, not us.
Look at them.
Disgusting.
I need a fork.
Could I have a fork
and ten napkins?
They just come here to mate.
Mate?
No.
That isn't what I meant, Bengt.
Fucking foreigners.
That's enough!
-Sir, yes, sir.
-What the hell, Bengt?
-See you at school.
-That was fun. Bye.
No!
No, no!
No, no, no!
Disneyland?
Really?
You bastard!
I did learn one other thing,
regarding that kidnapping ...
What does that stand for?
Mixed martial arts.
Khabib is a serious fighter.
What MMA stands for.
Khabib, what are you doing?
Let him go!
Are you trying to kill him?
Let go!
What are you doing?
Keep it down!
Kiki is asleep over there.
He has one-way tickets to Iran.
I doubted him from the first second.
-How do you know about the tickets?
-I saw them.
And checked his phone.
He kidnapped her.
Who would kidnap their own daughter?
He loves her.
-He has searched on Google.
-No, listen to me.
They'll take her away from me.
The authorities will take Kiki from me.
My girlfriend died, okay?
And after that, her parents -
- applied for custody of my daughter.
Kiki's grandparents
are going to get custody -
- because they'll make me look
like a bad father.
And the court will believe them
more than me.
I didn't mean to cause trouble.
We'll leave, as soon as Stix
gets us our passports.
Have you lost your mind?
Do you actually trust Stix?
-Do you?
-Is there any reason not to?
We can't have him here.
It's too dangerous.
We should have listened to Khabib.
He was right.
Shit.
Do you think he'll call the cops?
He's no threat.
And he can help with the application.
I don't care about that!
It's too dangerous.
Sorry, boys.
I ruined everything.
Adil.
Yeah?
It's up to you.
Do you trust him?
We've talked.
And we have decided ...
That you can stay.
But ...
On certain conditions.
One:
You stay away from other people.
No more trips to town, okay?
Two:
You leave here as soon as possible.
And three:
You're responsible for everything
to do with the goat barn.