Joanna Lumley's Nile (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

- Behind me is the Mediterranean,

and in front of me is Egypt,

and the mouth of the Nile.

For the next four programs,

I'm going to be following
this mighty river,

4000 miles right into the heart of Africa.

Join me, stay with me.

You'll feel foolish if you don't.

Yes?

We're now officially in the Nile.

This is just the beginning



of one of the most remarkable
journeys I've ever made.

Following in the footsteps
of other intrepid explorers,

our expedition will take
us to faraway lands,

spectacular scenery,

extraordinary people...

Yes!

The adventure of a lifetime...

And finally, after 60 tough days,

I hope to realize my dream,

to reach the source of the Nile.

- Here we are.

- Oh my gosh!

I'm starting in Alexandria,

one of the most famous
cities of the ancient world.



It's played host to history's A-list.

Founded by Alexander the
Great, home of Cleopatra,

Egypt's last queen, conquered by Napoleon,

and visited by Churchill.

Alexandria was capital of
Egypt for over 1000 years.

Today, most of what made
it famous has faded away,

engulfed by the modern world.

I swap my fishing boat for the train

to take me south on the
first leg of my journey

along the Nile.

So here is this extraordinary
continent of Africa.

As an army brat, we used to travel

out the far east and back by ship,

and we always came here, past Aden

up through the Red Sea, take on a pilot,

cross through the Suez Canal.

I used to look out to
the left, and just wonder

knowing that was Egypt,
knowing that was Africa,

knowing that that was the Nile,

which of course, you couldn't see,

and I've been yearning to see this

since I was a little
girl, sailing to and fro.

And we're going to be
following this colossal river,

not only through Egypt, because people say

you're going on the Nile,
how lovely, you'll see Egypt.

You go, Egypt isn't the half of it,

it isn't the quarter of it.

This journey will take me
through five countries.

From Egypt, we'll cross into
the deserts of northern Sudan,

where in Khartoum, the Nile
is joined by the Blue Nile,

and will take a new
direction following the river

into the highlands of Ethiopia.

We then rejoin the Nile in
war-torn southern Sudan,

continuing south through
Uganda, pushing on into Rwanda,

where my journey on the
world's longest river

comes to an end.

It's an unbelievable journey
we're going to be making,

and we're just up here.

That's the just the beginning
of this 4000 mile trip.

And our first stop is Cairo.

To get to Cairo, the train
travels through the Nile Delta,

a huge agricultural area the size of Wales

and home to over 40 million people.

This precious land not only feeds Egypt,

but also supplies it with
their most famous export,

Egyptian cotton.

The Nile in Cairo is
crisscrossed with bridges.

It's so lovely, because
each time you get on one,

which we're just about to now,

you look down and see
those fabulous waters.

Look how wide it is.

It's a huge river, and
it's got this Nile green,

which of course the French
very chicly described

as "Eau de Nil" and it became
a fabulous fashion color,

rather pale, sort of willow color.

And Cairo, I mean I can't get over it.

It's the largest city in Africa by far,

and has been for 800 years.

Affectionately named
the mother of the world

in medieval times, 18 million
people jostle for space

in this city.

The pollution is so bad
that it's said to be

the equivalent of smoking
20 cigarettes a day.

It's been on the tourist
map for centuries,

and was especially
popular with the British

during Victorian and Edwardian times.

Agatha Christie came here as a young girl,

and she was absolutely entranced,

but funny enough, she loved coming here

for the night life of Cairo,

it was a very buzzing hot city.

She said something quite interesting.

She said Cairo, from the
point of view of a girl,

was a dream of a city.

The wonders of antiquity
were the last thing

I wanted to see.

Luxor, Karnak, the beauties of Egypt

were to come upon me with wonderful impact

about 20 years later.

Now isn't that just as a late teenage girl

who wants to party, isn't
that just the words?

You just go, like we're in Cairo,

where are the clubs, where
are people hanging out?

That's exactly what she was like.

She went pyramids, schmyr-amids.

Do you know, I don't
think she did say that.

But that's the kind of attitude.

To get about, Agatha Christie
would most definitely

have had a dragoman, a
guide and translator.

- So this is Khalili market.

It's a market, and it's
a local tourist market.

Everyone come here. - Yeah.

It seems sensible to have my own dragoman,

so allow me to introduce to you

my friend, Ramy Romany.

He's an expert in all things Egyptian.

- This is a part of the old wall of Cairo.

- It's Ramadan.

During this time of religious fasting,

it's forbidden to eat
or drink during the day.

However, the prophet Muhammad did allow

one relaxation of the rules,

which has become known
as entertaining the fast

using a miswak.

- Here you go. That's a miswak.

- It looks just
like a piece of wood to me.

- When you taste
it, it's not, actually.

So basically, that's one for you,

and I got one for me.

- Yeah?

Oh no, no, no, no. I insist.

- Okay, Joanna.

So basically... - Yeah.

- You gotta be very...

Can you feel the taste of them?

- Not yet, no.

What have I got to do, bite it? No.

- No, as soon as you keep going...

- Keep going, something
with the juice will come out

of something?

This is entertaining the fast?

- Yeah, don't you find this entertaining?

- It is. It is.

- I think it's very entertaining.

- At the moment, it's
like chewing a chair leg.

I know it's going to burst
into action in a second.

Maybe I made the mistake of swapping.

- They have a better
price on miswak, as well.

- A better price?

You mean you got me the cheapest one?

- I didn't know he had a better one.

- Okay, we want the better price please.

I'll keep this.

I'm not rejecting this, obviously.

I can just slip it into a
dish of Twiglets at home,

and give somebody a lovely shock.

Is that my new one?

Good. Thank you.

Shukran. Thank you for that.

This looks altogether much more promising.

- How does it feel?

- That's lovely.

- Good.

- So I might finish this one
in two weeks, or a night?

- I think with you Joanna, it might take

a couple of years.

- I haven't got two years,

because tomorrow I set
off on the next part

of my journey.

But you can't leave Cairo
without seeing the pyramids.

Ramy, my friend and guide,
has suggested we travel

to see the pyramids by camel.

It's a real treat, he said.

- Mahmoud!

- I can't
think of anything nicer.

- Mahmoud.

- He's brought
me to meet Mahmoud Adel.

Salaam, hello.

- Hi how are you?

- Good to meet you.

He's been looking after
camels since he was 12.

His favorite camel is Charlie Brown.

This is Charlie.

Hello, Charlie.

How old is Charlie?

- Seven years.

- Mahmoud, he
looks absolutely beautiful.

- I take care of him.

I play with him, give
him a shower every day,

and I take care of them so much

because I love them.

- Well, I think I'm falling in
love with you, Charlie Brown.

- Likes you, Charlie.

- Hello, darling.

Hello, sweetheart.

Hi Charlie. That was a
lovely munching kind of kiss.

Come, sweetheart.

So soft, it's like
leading a cloud behind me.

The thing about these animals

is that we're used to sight of them.

We all know what a camel looks like,

and we see them on Christmas cards,

and we see them at the zoo, I suppose,

but real-life camels
in their own countries

it's just fantastic.

They're so huge, you see.

They're so unexpected.

Everything about them is thrilling,

and I've watched the way
that they settle down.

Do you know those knives
called Leathermans,

which all kind of fold in like that?

That's how a camel lies down.

It seems to take its time,

and everything folds up neatly like that.

It's Ramadan, so most people
are fasting during the day.

Out of respect, I've decided to join them,

and not eat again until sunset.

Well, the camels are eating
because that's sensible,

but I'm not having breakfast,

but I should share to you something,

I practically never have breakfast anyway.

And I quite often don't have lunch.

So can you see how my fast
is going to be a total fraud?

I keep pretending I'm a theater person,

but I mean I have done loads of plays,

but often theater people
eat after the show,

so quite often the first meal I get

is at 10:30 or 11:00, in any case.

So, you know what I mean?

Easy-peasy.

It's okay, Charlie. It's me.

That's you saying good morning.

Thank you.

Charlie Brown's looking
to see where Mahmoud is.

That's rather touching.

Come, Charlie.

These are the Ramadan
equivalent of Christmas lights

in Oxford street.

Good morning, ladies. Salaam.

- Hello!

- Hello!

Extraordinary how quiet it is.

If you're riding a horse,
you get a sort of clip-clop.

With a camel it's just a quiet,

surging, pounding softness.

Quiet as mice, you actually
can't hear their footsteps.

This looks terrifying,
but it's sail before steam

for these ships of the desert.

Thanks guys.

I think you probably stop for a camel.

There are over a hundred
pyramids in Egypt,

but the ones in Giza are
the most famous of all.

The largest, the Great Pyramid,
took 20 years to build,

and is constructed with over
2 million blocks of stone.

Over 4000 years later, they still stand,

a magnificent symbol of
the might of ancient Egypt,

and the power of those who ruled.

Wow, it's so busy!

Mind you, I'm not sure what the pharaohs

would think of us today.

Hey, come on!

The thing that strikes
me, is that here we are,

we're just on sand, but where
did all this stone come from

to build these massive structures,

which have lasted for so long?

- Well, Joanna, the stones
actually came from two sites.

The core of the pyramid would come

from the local quarry here,

but then it was covered
with fine limestone,

and that fine limestone had to come

from further back, and
the only way it could come

was through the Nile.

- But the Nile's miles away from here.

- That's now. That's in modern day.

- Yeah?

- At the time, the Nile was literally

just beyond those pyramids over there.

- Just beyond the pyramids?

- Yeah.

One of the temples down
there is made of red granite,

and red granite comes
all the way from Aswan.

- From Aswan?

- Which is 1000 kilometers to the south.

- Gosh.

- And there are tons and tons
and tons of blocks down there.

The only way they could come over

was the Nile again.

- Extraordinary.

So the Nile...

brought the pyramids here, really.

- You could say that.

- Kind of.

- Yes, you could say that.

- Well without the Nile,

there wouldn't be the pyramids here.

- Of course.

- It was only 100 years ago

that the Nile flowed right past the foot

of these massive burial chambers.

Since this photograph was taken,

Cairo has expanded, and what was the river

is now urban sprawl.

It's just about 3:00, and we're
about to leave the pyramids

because they're all shutting down,

because it's Ramadan and
they close early today,

and it's been a day of quite
extraordinary splendor.

I think the excitement of
actually traveling here

of riding here on a camel,

was just thrilling, and
this is Charlie Brown

who's the most beautiful
camel in the world.

If I had the money, I would
buy Charlie Brown off Mahmoud.

He'd be delighted to sell him to me.

And to be out in these
great extraordinary sands,

with these pyramids behind us.

One of the seven wonders of the world.

I expect you can name the others.

Unfortunately, because
I'm so hungry, I can't.

So sorry.

Tonight, I set off on the
next leg of my journey.

Leaving Cairo and the pyramids behind,

I'm gonna take the train south
along the banks of the Nile

for 400 miles, passing
through the exotically-named

Eastern Arabian Desert,
to arrive at Luxor.

A lot of people have asked us
why we're not doing this trip

up the Nile on a boat.

After all, it's a river,
and that's how you travel.

Well the truth of it is
that if it's well over

4000 miles long, it would
take us forever to do it.

So we're going to have to do
this all in bits and pieces,

but just now the night train to Luxor

sounds about as starry
as ways you can travel

into upper Egypt as I can think of.

When I was very small, my
worst nightmare in the world

was standing beside a
train track like this

on a platform, and a
train would come through

in my dreams, and I'd see
it in the far distance

coming, coming, coming towards me,

and I'd be dragged towards
the edge of the track,

and as it came whamming past,

I could...

Like Anna Karenina,
straight into the track.

So it's always a bit of a
moment waiting for trains.

I get really nervous.

I don't know why, I find
trains really frightening.

Freaked out, and quite relaxed.

But just really tense.

To add to my anxieties, the crew foolishly

put me in charge of the tickets

and finding the right carriage.

11126.

- There you are.
- Thank you so much.

- You're welcome.

- Where do I start?

I might just go along here.

Oh, we're going the wrong way now.

Now we're going the right way.

Um, um, um, um...

Stop flapping.

Could you help me?

Which one's...

- This is 819.

- So we go right up to the end?

- Yes, yes, yes.

- You are kind. What is your name?

- My name is Muhammad.

- Muhammad?
- Yes, yes.

- Thank you very much.

- Not at all, not at all.

- Thank you.

Okay, I'll just go in 87.

And we're gonna let the people pass.

Oh my god.

We're off, look we're traveling!

Look, we're traveling!

Goodbye, Cairo.

Isn't that lovely?

And my next word will be Muhammad,

probably not a tactful thing to ask,

but Muhammad, where is the bar?

I might want to have a
look at the bed, actually.

Just out of curiosity,
I'm not sure how it works.

I have a feeling these things
can suddenly spring down,

and I'm not sure if
there's a release valve.

Okay.

So, that's lovely there. That's lovely.

Good.

Might be something you do
when you've been to the bar.

No, no.

I'll do that much later, I think.

Didn't really want to sleep, anyway.

We're going to the bar.

It's down this way.

My fingers always itch to
tidy these bits up everywhere.

It's the same in England.

Carry my Marigold gloves.

This reminds me of
walking along in a ship,

and when something is
wobbling, the thing to do,

is it doesn't look very pleasant,

but you walk with your feet
slightly apart, like that.

Then you just wobble, it looks as though

you've wet your pants, but it's okay.

And here you'll run at a hell of a pace.

Good evening.

Thank you so much.

What is your name?

- My name is Issa. Issa.

- I'm Joanna.

- Welcome. You're very nice.

- Thank you much indeed.

Issa, may I have a
Luxor, small Luxor beer?

- Yes.

- Is it Luxor, or Luxor?

- Luxor, Luxor.

- Luxor.

Would you say that the
Nile is a man or a woman?

- In Arabic, Nile that's a man.

- It's a man.

- Yeah.

- Mighty man.

Mighty Nile.

- It's strong man.

The Nile for me, everybody in Egypt,

it's very important for the life.

It's for the essence of life.

For the cleaning, for the...

- Agriculture?
- Agriculture.

For everything. The Nile.

- It's very important for everyone.

- It is for everybody
in the world, actually.

- Without Nile, impossible
you can live here in Egypt.

Impossible.

- The beer is small compensation
for the frustration I feel

at not being able to see the Nile

as we cling to its banks,
traveling ever southwards.

Nothing for it but to get some sleep.

Is my bed down?

But first I have to tackle that bed again.

Will you do this? Thank you so much.

Just like that?

- Two pillows for you.

- Two pillows for me?

- Yes.

- Oh, that looks
wonderful, Muhammad.

Thank you so much.

- Not to worry.

- And in the
morning, will you wake me up?

- Yes, yes.

- Thank you very much.

- Not at all. Here you are.

- Thank you.

- Good night.

- Good night.

First of all, I'm gonna turn on the music.

I'd like you to hear the music.

So, I could sleep with
my head just pressed...

It's gone very quiet.

This is as loud as it gets.

I might take off my shoes.

Incidentally, if you don't
want the ghosts to come in,

first thing you do is you
keep this shut covered.

And put your shoes facing outwards.

Then the ghosts can't walk into your bed

with bad dreams.

One, two, three.

Oh, Muhammad, coffee. Thank you so much.

- Not at all.

- That's lovely.
- Sugar?

- I think I'll just have it like this.

Thank you so much.
- That's okay.

- Most people I've talked to

are sort of half in love with this river,

and they all say when you
see it, when you see it.

Which of course we have seen it,

but I suspect what they're talking about

is not the Nile at Alexandria, at Rosetta,

I think it's probably the Nile

as she goes into upper Egypt,

right about Luxor.

That's where people go and sit for days

and stare and dream and write poetry.

I long for us just to see
a glimpse out of here.

This is the Egypt I used to think of

aboard that troop ship as we
came up through the Red Sea.

Look there.

This is the Nile. This
is the beautiful Nile.

In Luxor, I'm greeted by the
massive statues of Memnon,

the rulers of dawn, which is rather apt,

as we've arrived here very early.

From here, the pharaohs
ruled ancient Egypt

for over 1000 years.

At one end of the town, Luxor boasts

the largest religious temple ever built.

Karnak.

At the other end, the
most famous pharaoh of all

King Tutankhamen, had a hand in rebuilding

the glorious temple of Luxor.

Today, however, Luxor is the center

of the hugely popular
Nile cruise industry.

It's been going since 1869,

when a young, adventurous
man from Derbyshire,

Thomas Cook, organized the
first of what was to become

an enduring tourist attraction.

I wonder what it's like.

Salaam.

- Hello.

- Joanna Lumley.

- This is your key.

- Shukran, thank you.

- You're welcome.

- 307. Look at this.

This is fantastic.

It's really big and
spacious, and beautiful,

on the Nile Commodore, that's our name.

This really is the way
to travel, you know.

Isn't that beautiful?

Hot.

Hot, hot, hot.

How still.

So even though we're sort of cutting along

through the water, look
how still for the flags,

they're hardly moving.

The decks are painted green.

The floor's green.

It's a very nice livery, this boat.

Very grand and beautiful.

This is really a gorgeous
way of traveling,

you can hear how quiet the boat is,

so you have a sense of just slipping

through the landscape.

I don't know what I thought
a Nile cruise would be like.

I thought maybe it would be
much rowdier, much bigger.

Much more sort of bossed about,

but this is absolutely gorgeous,

people I've seen sitting
quietly reading at tables

or having a drink.

It's not like one of those giant ships.

These are small boats.

Agatha Christie kind of boats.

I think Britain's been in
love with Egypt and the Nile

for quite a long time,
and I wonder if that came

from the passion for Egyptology
that arose in the 1920s,

and since then people have longed,

particularly doing the great
tour of the Mediterranean,

but to go on the Nile, this
was just something fantastic.

So it's lovely to think that these cruises

are keeping the river alive,

because there's not much fishing going on.

They're bringing money into the country,

they're giving immense pleasure
to people from overseas.

It's pretty unspoiled, isn't it?

I could stare at the riverbank forever,

dreaming of life as an ancient Egyptian.

But why dream, when below
decks I can actually be one?

This is Ancient Egypt Night,

a fine tradition on Nile cruise ships.

It's nice trying on clothes

through the middle of the concourse.

I think that's lovely.

Oh, okay.

Oh, show me how.

Well, this is suspiciously
like a bathing hat.

I love it. I love it on other people.

But somehow I look, this is the look

that terrified me most
of all as a young person.

In fact when I was a
model, the things that,

oh, what's that?

That's nicer.

When I was a model, the things I really

dreaded wearing were berets.

I just to try to get
out of the beret shots.

I like a bit of a...

But maybe I'm coming around to it.

What do you think?

Bit bathing hat again, but there we are.

Might get something,

something might...

It's sort of something to
do with having a huge face

and a huge mouth.

I've got to have help.

You've got to tell me.

I think this one might be nicer.

I think this is better?

Uh-huh?

It's better for me?

- This one's better.

- Ancient Egypt
Night wouldn't be complete

without making a mummy of your husband.

That's very good bandaging, isn't it?

Look how neat that is.

- Yes.

- This one's
lovely. Love this one.

- Time, please.

- We need your help.

So you are our judge.

Joanna, would you please
come to help as well?

- Thank you.

- Joanna? That's not fair.

- It's not fair.

- So you are the judge,

you want to tell us who the winner

out of these four mummies, please?

- We think this is adorable.

- Absolutely.

- It's wonderful. It's completely bound.

It's completely mummified.

Little bit of the head showing.

- Actually,
if it's a man in there,

then fantastic.

Even better because it's
right across the mouth.

- This is very good, impressive.

This is very good bandaging right here.

- Actually,
yeah. That is very good.

- That's beautifully done.

But this is pretty impressive, isn't it?

- I think this is probably...

- The winner?

- Yeah.

- We think that's the winner.

- This one.

- Well done, man. Oh wow.

The next morning, after coping

with a lack of lavatory paper,

I catch up with my fellow judge

Caroline Forrest.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

This is not vodka, just
in case you think it is.

It turns out that Caroline
has a bit of an obsession

with the Nile.

She's been here over 20 times.

What made you come to Egypt?

- I'd always wanted to
come since I was a child.

You know, you read in books,

and you do courses at school about it,

and it just held a mystery,

and it was going to be
the only time we came.

It was going to be...

- The one of.

- The one of, yes.

- So you didn't think that's Egypt done?

- No.

- You caught like a bug?

- I think so, yeah.

And it's very easy to catch,

because lots of people
come again and again.

- And what is it about the Nile, Caroline,

what is it about cruising on this river?

- The Nile's wonderful.

You never know what you're going to see

from one day to the next.

Always, the scenery's changing.

- Do you always come back to this boat?

- Always this boat.

We're friends now.

It's not just, I'm not just a guest,

I'm family.

- You're family.

- Yeah.

- You'd like to just be
on the Nile, wouldn't you?

- Yes, I would.

Yes, it's a lovely river.

- People could come here and visit you.

You could be Queen
Caroline, queen of the Nile

on your own boat.

- That's what my husband calls me.

- Does he?

Queen Caroline?

- Yeah.

- Caroline, thank you so much.

A drink to you in water.

Or should we admit it neat vodka?

- Oh, go with it.

- Thank you.

- I'll have gin, though.

- Have I ever mentioned that the Nile

is the only major river to
flow from south to north?

It's an odd geographical fact,

but most rivers in the world
generally flow the other way,

downhill, if you like,
from north to south.

So it's taken me a while
to get used to the fact

that even though we're
traveling down the map,

we're going up the Nile.

It's all very confusing.

But thankfully, not for this
man, Sayed Kamel, our captain.

Is the Nile an easy river to navigate?

- Now we see we've got...

- Why are we turning now,
steering to the left?

It's very lucky I'm
not piloting this boat,

because I can't see this island.

I can see some little tiny
boats, fishing and smashing

their poles in the water,
which is what they do,

and then another cruise ship ahead,

which has gone sharply to the left,

so clearly we're going around,

which must be, an island must be

more like a sand bank, maybe.

A very high sand bank.

On my journey along the
Nile, it's been impossible

to ignore the date palms,
which fringe the riverbanks.

It's September, and time for harvest,

so I've come to meet date
farmer, Muhammad Arra.

- Hello!

- You need dates?

- Hello, darling. Hello.

- These are very good for eating?

- Very good, yes. Very lovely. Sweet.

- Sweet?

- Yes, sweet.

- Well, they look pretty high up.

Extraordinary.

Just climbing up a tree
without any branches,

but obviously the spiky
bits of the date palm.

Now he's got a huge sharp knife.

Wow!

- Wow!

- Wow!

- Wow! Wow!

- Want a taste, madame?

- Oh yes, please.

They're beautiful.

They're sweet, but
because they're not dried,

they're not like the
dates at Christmastime,

got a white middle there.

Just completely delicious.

So I imagine these will be the very ones

that I guess are dried and
packed into those boxes

with a fake, do you remember
in the middle of the box,

there's always something like that,

which is made of plastic,
and I always used to wonder

why it was wobbly.

It's just a beautiful plastic copy

of a little date palm twig.

But dates aren't just for Christmas.

During Ramadan, the date
is the first food taken

to break the fast.

And at Easter, Christians use the leaves

to celebrate Palm Sunday.

Having left the luxury of
the cruise ship in Luxor,

I'm heading to Egypt's
southernmost town, Aswan.

To take us there, Ramy
and I are hitching a lift

on a felucca barge, a
traditional form of transport.

Salaam. Salaam. - Hello.

- Captain Abdul Aziz and his crew

transport stone and building
materials along the Nile,

just as the ancient
Egyptians did 4000 years ago.

Ramy?

- Yes?

- I want to ask a question

of Mr. Abdul Aziz.

Is this wind quite constant on the Nile?

- It's always perfect, he says.

- So it always blows the boats upstream?

They come with the current downstream?

- Exactly.

It comes with the current
downstream, and the wind upstream.

- Very good.

- He's telling you that
he's been here on this Nile

for 56 years.

- You were a baby.

- He used to work
with his father 56 years ago.

- Is this the way that
the stones came down

for the pyramids?

On a boat like this?

Do you have any stories about the Nile?

Haunted?

Scary.

What do the demons look like?

That's frightening though
to think of a demon,

because without knowing,
it's the same old devil

with little hooves, although
these are donkey's hooves,

so they're not split.

Usually it's cloven hooves,

but it's the eyes that are
the giveaway of the devil.

It's the eyes.

Do you have a mobile phone?

Will you call me when you see a demon?

I'll come and sort that demon out for you.

I'm beginning to get the idea

that beneath the peaceful surface,

this river runs far deeper than I thought.

Filled with legends, superstitions,

good spirits, and demons.

After six boiling hot
hours, we arrive in Aswan,

Egypt's riviera, a playground
for the rich and famous.

Well, that is if you
like taking your holiday

in temperatures that would fry an egg.

The island that was once the
site of a religious pilgrimage

is now home to one of Aswan's
most expensive hotels,

hopefully the one I'm staying in.

Fantastic.

This is Elephant-ine,
or Elephant-een island,

and there was talk that once upon a time,

the Ark of the Covenant,
when it was being taken away,

rested here for a bit, stayed
here on Elephant-ine Island

so people used to come
there for pilgrimages.

So, Ramy, you're going to leave us now?

- Unfortunately I am, Joanna.

- You're going back to Cairo?

- Yes, that's it for me.

- Uh-huh.

Will we see you again ever?

- You will, of course indeed.

I'm not sure about those guys.

- Thank you so much for being with us.

- Thank you Joanna.

- It's been fantastic.

Don't knock my hat off.

You know I'm fond of
you, but not, you know.

Thank you. - Sorry.

- Thank you so much.

The Victorians used to flock to Aswan,

describing the town as being
on the edge of civilization,

which is how I feel as I
prepare to embark on my trip

into the remote deserts of Sudan.

That looks lovely, Muhammad.

- Thanks ma'am.

- Shukran. Thank you.

Well, fantastic.

Extraordinary journey.

We've already covered over 600 miles.

The only 700 miles of the Nile in Egypt.

Absolutely extraordinary.

One of the most extraordinary things

about this sensational glass of champagne,

is that it's easily the last
alcohol I'm gonna be drinking

for a bit, because Sudan is a dry country.

No alcohol there.

I mean, it's dry obviously desert,

but no alcohol at all.

Here, on the favorite map,
let's see where we've come.

Familiar top of Africa,
where we came and Rosetta,

all the way down past
Cairo, all the way down,

and here we are, at Aswan, and tomorrow,

we cross lake Nasser, the
biggest inland manmade lake

in the world, and then winding
around, and cross into Sudan,

and follow the river all the
way upstream to Khartoum here.

And look at it.

There's nothing here.

It's gonna be very tough.

This has been the end of luxury for me.

We've been sitting in first
class compartments in trains,

we've been traveling on
gorgeous tourist ships,

we've been staying in
grand and delicious hotels,

we've been forcing
ourselves every now and then

to take a small libation,
just to sort of praise

the river gods and things, and...

Tomorrow I think it's going
to be a very different story.

Muhammad, the bottle, thank you.