Joan of Arcadia (2003–2005): Season 1, Episode 12 - Jump - full transcript

God appears to Joan as Rocky, the young boy that she babysat with Cystic Fibrosis. He asks her to read the paper and it turns out to be his obituary. At the cemetery after the funeral, Joan...


Rocky, is that you?

What time is it? What are you doing here?

Looking for you.

If your mother wakes up and finds you gone, she is gonna be worried sick.

She knows I'm gone.

What time does the paper get here?

What? I don't know. Early. Why?

I'm in it. Page 14. Metro section.

What did you do get the paper ?

- I have to go.
- Wait! Let me drive you home.

No. You can't take me.

Well, at least borrow a coat.

so long, Jane.


"Chief Girardi initiated a personal investigation which led to several city council members,

judges, a number of highly placed business leaders, and eventually the mayor's office.

The mayor of arcadia responded by describing chief Will Girardi..."

What's happening?

Nothing I didn't expect. What are you doing up?

I had kind of a weird dream.

Koala bears?

No, dad, I haven't had the koala bear dream since I was 5.

Evil koala bears in hats. Eech.

Come on. I'll tuck you in.

So...what did you dream about?

Boys in mirrors.

Maybe this is one of those dreams you shouldn't tell your father.

Like Orlando Bullman in a speedo?

Now I'm gonna have a nightmare.

In confronting the corruption "which has plagued Arcadia for years cannot be underestimated.

He should be treated as a hero, not a pariah."

One of those flesh-eating Amazonian death fish?

That's piranha. Pariah's an outcast, one of the unclean.

Do you have the metro section?

The last time I was editorialized, I got called a racist.

So it's nice the paper gives you a little support for a change.

Rebecca called you a hero with the guy and the gun and the car crash.

Yeah, and after Joans psycho gunned up prom date.

Your boss never gets it right. I wasn't a hero either time.

She got it right this time. You are a hero.

"Page 14. Obituaries."

Ok, listen, family... when grace gets here, we have to knuckle down for the science fair, so if you people could just keep it down...

then you could make out with her?

Grace kissed me once as a political statement. I don't expect it to happen again.

Oh, my god. I dont believe it. Rocky. Rocky died.

Oh, honey.

That little kid you baby-sat?

His funeral is today.

I've gotta go into the office. What happened?

Rocky died.

I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

Hey, Will. Thanks for joining us on a Saturday.

Always happy to cooperate with my peers from the county, Sheriff.

Will, let me introduce you to FBI special agent Shannon Hodgins.

You set off a bomb, chief.

I assume you called me in to tell me what role the... Arcadia police department is to play in all of this.

The city of Arcadia police department no longer exists, sir.

What do you mean, no longer exists?

At noon today, the governor will dissolve the city council. County supervisors will take over the administration of Arcadia.

Which means that law enforcement will be my responsibility.

What about my people?

Oh... most of these people are gonna be absorbed by the sheriff's department. Uh, Will, I...

I'm gonna have to ask you for your badge and your gun.

Ah, grace, good. As you can see, I've entered in 4 more equations for Heisenberg's gamma ray experiment.


What? This is a great science fair project.

It challenges one of the tenets of quantum mechanics. We could get published.

You promised we would build something.

We did.

A real something, not a virtual, theoretical cyber-model.

Well, that's a meaningless distinction.

Look, I've-- I've really enjoyed our collaboration. I--I feel our intellects and approaches really complement each other, and I was... you know, hoping you felt the same way.

Stop, stop. You're embarrassing me with your dirty talk.

Listen up! Get somebody down to city hall, not an intern. Kevin, good. I'm glad you're here.

What's goin' on?

Your old man just brought down a city.


Very impressive... for a man who only wears off-the-rack suits.

The county has taken over the municipality of Arcadia while the FBI investigates. Track down the chief. Get a comment. Go!

He won't speak to you.

Why not? We'll make him look good. "Politicos rocked by top cop."

Oh, sure, this week. Next week you'll be back to calling him names.

He's a public figure. Just be glad I'm not asking you to get the quote.

Well, I wouldn't do it.

Well, I'm not asking.

Why do we argue so much?

Rocky faced his disease bravely.

He never lost heart.

Everyone who came into contact with this remarkable boy came away better for knowing him.

If there is anyone who would like to share a brief remembrance of rocky, then, uh... please step forward.

Uh, I think I have something to say.

Ok, honey, but just remember it's a funeral, so...

Do I have to say "we-- we gather here today"?

I already took care of that.

Ok. Hi, I'm--I'm Joan.

Um... I--I watched rocky sometimes for Miss Tardio when she went to night school.

Um... he was pretty much a weirdo.

I mean, he knew 10,000 ways you could die in your own home, 3 just by sitting on the toilet. Did you know that's how Elvis died?

He told me.

Yeah. Rocky was so... Morbid.

I mean, one time he informed me that statistically I will die February 5th, 2066, by which time all of you will already be totally dead.

Rocky made death funny.

Until today. Today it's not so funny...

because he isn't here... and that's just... Sad.

Thank you.


Anyone else? No? Thank god.

Uh, I would like to read something that Sylvia asked be read over our, uh, friend rocky.

"Do not stand by my grave and weep. I am not there.

I do not sleep. I am 1,000 winds that blow. I am the diamond glints of snow.

Do not stand by my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die."

Do you believe in ghosts?

Walkin' though a cemetery after buryin' a child, you bet I do.

Oh. Adam. Mr. Rove.

Hey, ms. Girardi. Um, me and Adam were just headin' over to Elizabeth's grave.

Um... you have somebody you visit here?

A little boy Joan baby-sat was buried today.

Rocky? Rocky died?


Wow. Life sincerely sucks.

Hey, dad, I'll meet you over by mom.

I...ran over one of his sculptures once the driveway.

It was weeks before he'd look me in the face. Of course, it was an accident.

Now he doesn't even make those things anymore.

Adam doesn't do his art?

He told me I could have my shed back. I...told him I loved those weird monstrosities that he makes, but...I'm just his dad.

Kids, huh? Sorry about the little boy.

Ok, god... Why put us in a place where we get to know people and love them and then they're gone...

and we don't know if we ever get to see them again?

Interesting eulogy, Joan. Unorthodox.

This is a mad, creepy look.

Death is a dividing line.

I don't need God to tell me that death is a dividing line.

Everybody knows that. What we don't know is what it divides us from.

One of the necessary mysteries.

Last night when I dreamt about Rocky and he told me to read the obituaries, that was you, right?

And when I saw him at the funeral?

No. That was between you and Rocky.

He looked happy. Does that mean he's in a better place?

Oh, yeah. Ill know someday. Be patient.

How soon will I know, exactly? February 5, 2066? Wait--don't tell me.

Like you would even tell me.

There's nothing I could say to make you understand.

Oh, come on! God, try me! Give me a hint!

I leave hints all over the place. I'm all about hints.

Like Adam appearing in your dream.

Well, maybe you could give me a quick look into the big picture, then maybe I could be good at this!

As you wish, Joan.

Joan? Honey? Can you hear me?

Who needs the big picture? Not me. Hints are good enough.

Honey, you're babbling.

I'm babbling.

Did you faint?


I don't know. I-- I'm fine.

Are you all right?

I'm fine! Mom, I'm fine. I--

You didn't eat anything this morning.

The stress of the funeral, plus Adam... this is why I try to get you to eat.

Mom, I'm having a horrible day. Can you please be nice to me?

Just a little bran in the morning.

Yes it's personal. You're in my house.

I'm sorry about this, chief.

Don't call me chief, agent Hodgins. I'm a civilian.

What is going on?

We've been served a federal search warrant.


My guess is the mayor's making allegations of his own, and these guys are here to check them out.

I'm not saying you're right, but I'm most definitely not saying you're wrong.

Ha ha. You sound like god.

FBI. Same thing.

That is my own personal computer-- pc--a literal acronym for personal computer.

Why did they need to take that?

There's stuff we don't recognize on the hard drive. We need to make sure there's not encrypted evidence.

Any naked ladies are because of my friend Friedman.


Without that pc, I have no science fair project. Just shoot me!

Sorry, chief.

Hey, will. Over here.

What's goin' on?

Oh, nothin'.

Here you go. What can I get for you, chief? On the house.

On the house?

You got those bastards good.

Thank you. Just the coffee.

You're a hero.

A hero. Without a job, without prospects and under investigation by the feds.

No. They're just covering all their bases. It's obvious you're the good guy in the story.

Thanks for your support, Mike,

even if it's given in whispers at a diner.

Will... I'm in over my head.

I need to find somebody to run the sheriff's department in Arcadia.

A star instead of a shield-- basically the same job as police chief-- administration, budget, policy, the press, politics.

You interested?

You put it like that... very tempting.

But I'll have to check all my other high-powered job offers.

You know, just so you know, this job offer isn't out of the goodness of my heart or because I respect you as a law enforcement professional-- which I do...

what's left?

At this level, Will, it's all public perception.

You're the white hat that cleaned up dodge. 8 months till my next election.

So, here's what you do. You put together a list-- salary demands, perks.

We'll talk again. Good to see you, Will.

Couldn't let it stand at just coffee, chief.

Heisenberg showed us that there is no true accuracy when more than one property is being measured.

Luke, it's Sunday morning--

as in the case of, say, velocity and position or energy and time.

When do you actually absorb information? Because it always seems like you're spouting it out.

His ears and eyes work on a separate circuit from his mouth.

So you got my message?

Yeah. FBI raid, and we're just gonna give up?

Grace, that was 6 weeks of work.

So we go with plan "B."

Yeah, you go with plan "B."

What's plan "b"?

The cannon thing you told me about.

Could you possibly, by any stretch of the imagination, be referencing the rail gun?

Luke, quit talking like the queen of England.

A hypermagnitized rail gun is a theoretical construct. I mean, no one has actually perfected one yet.

Adam...I had a dream about you last night. I think it might be some kind of warning.

You said she wouldn't be here.

Man, just talk to her.

Don't grab my arm.

You have to quit running away from me.

Please, just do us all a favour and listen to her dream.

I said don't grab my arm.

I gotta get to the gym.

Grace, wait. Adam's starting to freak me out.

He doesn't like being grabbed.

I had this dream--

koala bears in hats?

No. No. Rocky was at my house, then he was leaving, and then it wasn't Rocky... it was Adam.

Once I dreamed that I could breathe under water. Guess what. I can't breathe under water.

Grace, listen to me. the mirror. Then he died. Then Adam in the mirror.

I've known Rove since we were 3...

and I've never seen him this bad.

So you admit he's freaking out.

Before his mother died, Rove was different. He was funny and aware of his surroundings.

I feel like there's something I'm supposed to be doing... but I don't know what it is.

Do you know how... Rove's mother died? She killed herself with pills.

She left him a note. Hello.

Adam's mother left him a note.

I'm--just a little-- freaked out. What did it say?

I don't know.

He wouldn't tell you?

He's never read it.


Because he's Rove, and unlike you, I give people their privacy.

Oh, my god.

I could tell by your jock-like apparel.

Do we...need to go through why I, uh... bolted last time?

Anywhere you've been, I was there a long time ago. So I'm not much of a listener.

It can be an annoying quality.

Youre flying Boys. Nice Job.

4...3... 2...

we have ignition!


You can do better. Consider the radiant flux in quantifying your emittance.

Is she allowed to talk like that to high school boys?

We could increase the iodine.

Any noble gas will do.

What? I'm not here to spy. I'm not even in the science fair anymore.

Why not?

FBI confiscated my project.

I'm not joking.

I always knew you had what it takes to contravene national security.

No, no. You may have heard about the mayor being arrested and the city council being dissolved?

Wow. You guys are really... anyway, my dad did it, so the FBI

seized my computer.

Wait. They're examining your hard drive? That means--

I'm just here to warn you-- I'm not taking the fall for your latex fetish.

Excuse me. Scientific interest.

We could use another team member for final tweaks.

I don't know. Grace wants to build something.


All we need to win first place is for the frequency of the light flashes to be more stable than the rated frequency of the oscillator.

Have you tried modulating the drive amplitude?


Ok. I mean, that should work.

Whacha doing?

I'm making a list of demands.

Ooh. Who are we taking hostage?

I've been offered a job-- undersheriff, Arcadia division.

Honey, that is incredible.

I didn't become a cop to make policy. I became a cop to put bad guys in jail.

Well, you are putting a large number of big, powerful bad guys in jail.

Yeah. And I lost my entire police department doing it. I'd like to turn down this job.

And do what?

Get back to what I'm good at.

Will, I want you to be happy.


Kevin. He's got a job.

Today he joined a wheelchair basketball team.

He's coming into his own. And unless I'm completely nuts, there's a girl.

A girl?

He's starting to be a little vain. That means a girl.

For the first time since his accident, he's... chasing after a life.

You're right. Family first.

Wow. If it's any consolation, I still hear bells when we kiss.

Girardi. Yeah. Bear, how you doing? Is he all right?

All right, Mr. Girardi. X-rays indicate that nothing's broken.

So I can go?

Well, I'd like to keep you for a couple of hours.

That's a hefty hematoma on your hip. Wanna make sure we don't have to drain it.

How long will that take?

A couple of hours, which is why I said I wanna keep you here for a couple of hours.

There's a young lady who was asking for you. I told her to wait with your friend.

It's probably my sister.

I don't think so.

Kevin! Are you all right?

Rebecca... hi. Uh...yeah. Just a little basketball injury.

Oh, thank god. I thought--

it's good that you're all right.

So you met the bear.

I actually told her my name.

How'd you even know I was here?

I have a source who lets me know if anyone interesting shows up at the hospital.

Why am I interesting?

Oh, my dad, the police chief.

Ex-police chief. Rumour has it he's been offered a big job in the sheriff's department.

So, what, you're here looking for confirmation?

No! God, Kevin, I'm here because--

I don't know why I'm here. Nice to meet you, Mr. Caldwell.

It's complicated.

No, it's not. You're an idiot.

She's my boss. She's...difficult and manipulative and...

and she's got a thing for you?

And romance scares you to death?

I am not afraid.

Like I told you... everywhere you're going, I've already been.

If you want some pointers on how guys like us deal with the whole sex act, I got a few hints.

Well, I don't need hints.

You know, I'm not comfortable having this conversation.

It's your call, kid. Spend the rest of your life looking at naked women on the internet. See ya.

Hey, am not afraid to have sex.

Hey, I got moves you never even heard of, ok?

There's a list of women a mile long who have no complaints about Kevin Girardi between the sheets.

I'm on painkillers.

I--I need a beverage.

Excuse me, doctor. Can you tell me how to get change?

Change comes from within, but first you have to want to change.

"Death is a dividing line." "Change comes from within."

What is with your lame fortune cookie wisdom today?

It's just a vending machine joke, kid.

You want change? I'm your woman.

Oh. Thank you.

You're right to worry about Adam. In his world, suicide is a reality. He's lived with it for 3 years.

Oh, my god.

Some suicides are motivated by rage... at another human being or the universe...or me.

Others come from a deep sadness. Suicide seems the only way of stopping the pain.

And then there are those who do not end their mortal lives.

But still, they stop living, which is also a kind of suicide.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Adam is gonna... kill himself? Why?

Rocky finished well.

The...let's call them ripples... the ripples Rocky left behind are sad...

but good. Adam's mother's ripples are not good.

Wait. Uh... I get the "all that I can handle without falling over"... are hints, so maybe...

uh, a--a better hint of what I should do?

There's more than one way to talk to people who aren't here anymore.

There's definitely more than one way to listen. Especially in Adam's case.

Or I have an idea you could bring Adam's mother back from the dead and make everything all right.

Not today.

So grace wants me to make this stupid rail gun that probably won't even work anyway.

Or I can salvage my dignity and work with Friedman.

No contest.

Yes. Of course.

Yet...all I see is contest.

Either get over your fear of women, or resign yourself to lookin' at boobs on the internet for the rest of your life.

Point of order: That's Friedman, not me.

And... not everything is about sex.

Well, not everything is about science.

This is a new arena for me.

I hear you, brother.

Hey, geek.

Oh. Grace. Uh, I was afraid your father wouldn't give you the message.

Yeah. Thanks for leaving a message with my father, the rabbi... saying you want to spend the night with me building a gun?

Yes. Well, if we work through the night, there's a chance we could make a functioning rail gun in time for the science fair.

A--a real one, not a computer simulation.

What will it do?

Uh...most likely, nothing. If we're insanely lucky, it'll move a steel object a few inches.

How big a steel object?

Aha! Where did you get that?


That is awesome.

You, uh... you heard me.

The most likely outcome is that we'll fail and look like idiots in front of the entire scientific community, as that term applies to Arcadia high.

So what you're tellin' me, dog, is there's no downside. Hmm?

I heard they offered you a job?

How'd you hear that?

I work on the newspaper, dad. Some kind of sheriff?

Always wanted to be a sheriff.

You are so full of it.

I beg your pardon?

Dad, I remember when you loved your job. You'd come home at night, I'd ask what you did,

you'd tell me great stories of running through alleys looking for clues, using your siren.

Kids are pretty easy to impress.

The stories changed, dad, not me.

It's a good job.

It means we get to stay here, set down roots.

It's the best thing for everyone.

Dad, if I find out you took this job because of me, I'll be really mad at you.

How is this about you?

My intention is to be as much a man as you are.

I can't do that if you keep me back, like a child.

Being a man means making decisions based on a lot of different needs, few of which are your own. Family comes first.

I need you to make decisions as though I was standing in front of you.

On my own 2 legs. Please.

Don't take the job, not for me.

I'll see you when you can come home.

Adam? Hey.

Hey. Ms. Girardi, you're... you're in my shed.

Yeah. I've come to ask you for a favour.

Sure. Anything.

I know that you're mad at Joan, but I would like you to talk with her.

I don't want to.

I know, but that's why it's called a favour. Good.

What? Like, did your mom mean this exact second?

What, do you need more time to hide?

Listen, I'm doing a really nice woman a favour, so...

what do you want to talk about?

Are you thinking about killing yourself?

I thought you were going to apologize to me, yo?

Oh, Adam, I've apologized a hundred times. We're both bored with that.

Why did you think I was going to kill myself?

Why aren't you doing your art anymore?

Because it's... it's stupid.

I--I used to--

I used to make all these things for my mom, and...

and... don't know. When you smashed my best one, maybe it made me realize that...

she can't hear me or she isn't listening.

Adam, how do you know she's not listening if you won't hear her answer?

I hardly ever know what you're talking about.

I know about the note.

Grace told you, huh?

Yeah, grace is in on it, and so is my mother and so am I.

It's none of my business, right?

Except it is! It is, because here we are and...

I am way in this.

I am mad absolutely in this.

So why haven't you read her note?

I can't.


Is it smudged from tears or written backwards or is it--

I'm af-- I'm afraid...

that it'll say that what she did was my fault.

It seems to me that wondering what it says is worse than knowing for sure.

That's just me.

I am sorry for smashing your art. I didn't know what it meant.

I didn't know about your mother.

I hope we can still be friends.

I really, really want for you to have... good ripples.


Say careful before I attach, not during.

Right. Sorry.

Maybe I'm--

I'm a little edgy. We've been up all night, it's morning, and if these 2 leads touch, this entire circuit could blow.

Yes. Very, um... steady hands. Good.

So is it done?

Yeah, I think so.

Aren't we gonna test it?

Well, according to my calculations, the wiring won't take more than one burst, so...

Remember when you kissed me at the semiformal?

Yeah. Forget it.

Can't un-ring a bell, baby.

I dont care what you say, I'm not eating bran. It makes me gassy.

Hold on!

Good morning, Adam.

Eat some breakfast. Make my wife happy.

All right, chief Girardi.

I tried all night, Jane

I can't. I can't go into it cold. I need some kind of warning... to know if I ought to prepare myself.


Dearest boy, my Adam,

I dreamed a dream,

you and I facing each other

in a tiny yellow boat

on green water under blue sky.

Me and my son

and the yellow boat.

And we laugh

and the boat rocks

and the ripples spread

from boat,

to pond, to sea,

the sky, and nothing

nothing ever will.

When you think of me, Adam,

know that

in a world of pain...

you were and always

will be my joy.

Love, mom.

Thank you.

The ripples were good.

Very good.

Are you ok to work?

Yeah, thanks. I'm--I'm good.

See? We don't always argue.


Um... when we argue, it's not about my father.

They why is it his name we're always yelling at each other?

It might be...sexual tension.

Hmm. Between, uh... between you and me.

I know who it's between.

So then you feel it, too?

I'm your boss and I'm--I'm older and I--

We're different races and religions and...

and I'm--I'm crippled.

Yeah, I feel it, too.

Hey, bear, so...

I'm gonna need some advice on you know what I'm talking about.

Why in god's name would you turn down this job?

I knew a better candidate, deputy sheriff Roebuck.

That's undersheriff, like something from robin hood.

And I'd appreciate a real answer.

I turned down the job because I'm better where the rubber meets the road than I am in an office.

In fact, you won't find anyone better when it comes to rubber and road.

You looking to get back into the detective business?

My wife likes Arcadia, and you're going to need someone to run the detective bureau.

So you get me this job and in return, I get you that job?

Roy, you don't get me that job. You offer it to me. You're the boss.

Damn right, I'm the boss. You can't keep your secretary.

Jeannie? You're gonna need her.

This is my office.

You're the boss.

I don't need you to keep reminding me. I know who's the boss, detective Girardi.

Thank you, undersheriff Roebuck.