Jep & Jessica: Growing the Dynasty (2016–2017): Season 2, Episode 7 - Enemy of the Skate - full transcript

Going in.
Coming in hot.

How's it going?

This thing is about to kill me.

Hey Jess.

Yeah.

Pull my feet.
Slowly.

Pull your feet?

Yes.

Gas line is secured.

Awesome, babe.

Help me up.



I tell you what.

Hey, I want you to get on the-

Get on the ground.

Jep.

And I'm gonna pick this
thing up,

and we're gonna put it
on the gram.

Don't call it the gram.

I'm gonna put it on the gram.

That's not-
that's not cool, babe.

Just get your phone
out and film me.

Why?

I'm gonna teach people
about food trucking making.

Are you serious?!

Yeah.
Film me.



Gonna put it on the gram.

Jep definitely likes
to see himself on videos.

Be careful.

Whoa.

Good grief this thing is heavy.

Now you talk good about me.

Like, say like,
"Gah, look at him.

Gah, that thing weighs
a thousand pounds."

It probably only
weighs like ten pounds.

Jess!

Babe.

That thing is so heavy.

Let's get some tris in there.

Wow.

Only reason I do all that,

is 'cause I know you like it.

But you ask me to
film it so you can watch it.

I ask you to film it so
you can watch me do it.

So you know, you could be like,

"Ooh that's my man."

Well babe, I already think that.

I know, but you need video
proof to show people.

You are not right.

Talk about how strong I am.

Yeah, you're so strong.

My goodness.

Look at me.

You're super strong.

Got this baby already up here.

I'm tired.

All right, well you're
almost done,

so put it up there.

All right.

When you're starting
a food truck,

you gotta have gas.

You ready?

Yeah.

Whoop.

No.

What?

What you do?

I just threw my back out.

Are you serious?

My gosh, yup.

Now what do you
gotta say to the camera?

Don't film this part.

Well you said you
could pick it up.

Put it up there.

My goodness, no.

Jess, my back's locked.

Well, can you just walk
bent over like that?

Come on-

I need some heat or ice
or something.

You look like Gus
with a full diaper.

Delete that part where
I hurt my back.

Like you pooped your pants.

And I kind of did poop pants.

Jep.

Quit filming!

What's the lesson learned here?

You don't have to be Hercules

and do it all
by yourself, right?

Lesson learned is that
tank is heavy.

All right.

Jep!

You coming, babe?
Breakfast is ready.

Gus is eating all the eggs.

All right.

Don't rush me, woman.

The kid's are almost
done eating.

Hey.

What's taking you so long?

My back is wack.

I mean, how bad is the pain...

on a scale from one to ten.

Twelve point five.

Jep, if that was the case,

you'd be crying.

I have cried.

Gus seems real concerned.

Yeah.
Not really.

My back really is hurting.

Only old people get
their backs hurt.

I think you're getting old, dad.

I think you're getting old.

And I think you
have hair growing out

of your ears.

Everybody has hair
in their ears.

That's not a big thing.

I want you to get better for our

daddy daughter roller skating.

My back is all messed up.

I don't know if I can do that.

Are you going to
make me skate all

by myself this year again?

No, I'm try-I'm not-

Cause last year, all you did was

play video games.

They have some good games there.

I will try to skate
with you this year.

You promise?

Be a good daddy.

Okay.

You're being like your mama,

so demanding.

All right, got get in
the bed, seriously.

You need to rest-

Thank you.

Let's think about daddy
for a change, okay.

All right, and I'll bring
you some food, okay.

All right.
I love you.

Get better, old man.

When I get better,

I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna get you good.

Not by the hair
of my chinny chin chin.

I will build a house for myself.

I will make it out of bricks.

Here is a house made of straw.

I think a little pig lives here.

Litle pig, little pig,
let me come in.

Not by the hair
of my chinny chin chin.

What y'all doing?

Priscilla's gonna try
out for the

community children's theatre
for the Three Little Pigs.

Priscilla, you're going
to be a star.

Yeah.

Can I watch?

Of course.

Okay.

Here is a house made of straw.

I think a little pig lives here.

Little pig, little pig,
let me come in.

Jessica, you need to
emphasize on more.

I'm not auditioning,

I'm just reading lines with her.

Okay, go ahead.
Don't mind me.

Not by the hair
of chinny chin chin.

All right.

I will huff and I'll puff
and I'll blow your house down.

Your performance is gonna affect

her performance.

You have got to act
the way that you think

she should be acting
and saying this.

Well, I know.

But I'm trying to juggle this,

and then take care of Jep.

I mean, I don't even understand

what he's saying here.

"Tell her to drop you.

And I need you to
come pick me up."

What?

Let's just keep going.

I'm just saying,
that an actress is only

going to be as
good as the person

who taught them.

Don't you agree.

You have got to
make the wolf sound big

and bad and furious.

Look, I'm not gonna lie,

out both of us,

she's probably the better wolf.

I am the better wolf.

Cause she's...
crazy.

Scilla, were you afraid
of the way she said it?

It sounded like a little kitten.

What do you think?

No, I wasn't afraid.

Your mom is just jealous
because she knows

I'm really a better actress
than she is.

That's all there is to it.

That's really what
I'm worried about.

You see this?

You see worry all on my face.

I do.

If you think you can
do a better job-

Let me take over.

Jep.

"Eat my back?"

I don't even know-
"Eat my back."

You better go take care of him.

Okay.
Have fun.

All right.

Now we got more to do than just

to learn the lines, okay.

I'm so excited!

Are you excited?!

Yup.

There's a snake in my boots.

I'm not sure I understand.

You're a dummy!

I'm just trying to help you.

What's wrong with you?

No comment.

Work!

I didn't quite get that.

Hey Siri...
text my baby.

What do you want
to say to My Baby?

Come in here
and pick my phone up.

Thank you.

Urinate my phone.

Ready to send it?

That-that doesn't make
any sense.

I'll send it.

Babe, what you need?

You all right?

Can you hand me my phone?

That's why you texted me?

Yes.

Your text messages don't
even make sense.

"Can you go this-"

Sure.

"You're a get my phone."

Siri's dumb.

You're the one speaking
these words to her.

She just can't hear
southern slang.

But what do you-
You just needed that?

Like, I mean-

Will you hand me my phone?

Babe, seriously.

That's why you texted me?

Yes.

You're only suppose to
text me if you really

need something.

Well, I really need my phone.

Just like you really
needed everything

else I brought you.

Trust me.

I don't wanna be in
a bed laid up all day.

It stinks.

Hey.
Aw.

Hey, daddy.

Such a good girl.

You always were my favorite.

I didn't wanna say it
in front of

the other kids.

So are you feeling
a little but better.

Maybe a little bit.

Okay.

Well, sounds like you can
go skating tomorrow.

So...
get ready.

Okay.

I didn't say a lot,
I said a little.

Aw, she's so excited.

She really is.

Her hopes may be a little high.

You have plenty
of time to heal, okay.

One day?

I'm gonna start doing
physical therapy with you.

You need to call in a priest.

Lay up.
I love you.

Text me if you really,
really need something.

Quit, quit.

We're just gonna
get a few shots, okay.

Some head shots for
your audition.

I'm Rita.

Nice to meet you, Rita.

What brings you in today?

Well, Scilla is going to
be in a little audition.

And we are gonna get us
a few head shots of her.

Okay.

And you can dress here up,

and spruce her hair and
make-up up a little bit,

you know what I'm saying.

Well let me know
if you need any help.

I will.

Hey guys.
Hi, how are you?

Hi, I'm Sadie.
Hi, I'm Rita.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you as well.

Hey Scilla.
Hey.

I've come to help.

You did?

Yeah.

I'm just gonna help
style and stuff.

Well, I kind of
thought I had this.

I was kind of doing
okay with it, I thought.

Scilla has this big
audition coming up,

and as her acting coach,

I decide that she needs to

get headshots done.

Naturally, I thought that
I was going to be

in charge of her
make-up and wardrobe.

Somebody else had another idea

about Sadie coming in
and helping.

I don't wanna look like
I'm stuck in the eighties.

No offense, Memaw.

I just thought,
since I kind of like

have seen some you know
headshots before

and I've had to do it.

I mean, maybe I can help
Scilla out a little bit.

And what's wrong with
the eighties?

I think it was a very
fashionable decade

if you ask me.

This'll be fun.

What do you think about this,

and this, and....

My goodness...
that!

I think the sequence with the-

It's just a lot going on.

It is very important to me that

Scilla makes this role.

Because I really think
she's got potential.

Scilla.

That with some
white go-go boots.

I don't know about that.

I don't know,
it might be a bit much.

Maybe we can go with a more...

natural look for her.

Like a little lip gloss.

I don't have a whole lot of

acting experience behind me,

but I feel confident that
I can be her acting coach,

because I do watch
a lot of movies.

I'm sorry, ma'am,

what is your definition
of a headshot?

What about that one?

And that hat would look good.

Let's just try that.

Hold it please.

You had it so right,

and then it's just the extra.

Yeah.

Cause that hat may
be a little bitt

too much for her,
'cause she's only ten.

It's like less is more.

I think I have it
down what an actress

needs to do and how
she needs to say it.

I can do this.

Scilla...

My goodness!

Look at this!

We don't wanna take
away from her natural cuteness.

Yeah, 'cause she's
a cutie by herself.

Yeah.

It's just that I kind
of wanted her to

look a little more glamorous.

Like, you know,

old Hollywood type,
you know look.

Ma'am, would you be
interested in taking

some headshots today?

Me?

Yes, you.

You can do your
old Hollywood look.

That would be awesome.

Well, I could use
a picture on my Tinder.

Uhm...

Okay!

We can accommodate you.

What if I help her
just a little bit

for a second.

Like, I can do her hair
and make-up

since you're getting your
photo made, so.

You can do that-

Are you sure?

Absolutely.
Yeah.

Okay.

Come on, let's go.

All right, Scilla.

Now that we got
that out of the way,

let's get some make-up.

This is really fun.

Lip gloss and then I think
you're good.

All right, here she is,
Miss Hollywood.

Miss Glamour herself.

Ta-da!

Wow!

What do you think, Scilla?

What do you think, Scilla?

Good, Memaw.

See, you could've been this.

You could've been that, wow.

You look wonderful.

Are you ready for
your photo shoot?

I think I am.

Come on over.

Okay.

Maybe you can get some tips.

One, two, three.

Perfect.
Work it, girl.

You are beautiful.

There you go.

Yes!

Work it!

I had a wonderful time.

Getting all that stuff
done to you,

and getting your picture made.

Now look more seductive for me.

Shoot.

More Hollywood.

Look at you.

I mean, who would
not enjoy that.

Tilt.

Tilt to the right.

Tilt to the left.

Put your hands up.

No.

Come on.

Come on, Scil.

Uhm, I think it's good.

But...

Do I hear something else
coming out negative?

No, I think that's just my
stomach growling.

Okay.
Okay.

You already have
this audition in the bag.

You do.

Beautiful.

That's my baby.

And that my friend,

is what we call a Dutch Oven.

You get it?

Kinda.

Kinda?

Buddy, I'm just showing you-

Hey.

Hey.

Look at you!

Sitting up.

I'm feeling a little bit better.

You look great.

You'll be ready to
put your skates on.

You'll be skating backward
with Merritt.

Does she know I'm
not good at skating?

Spinning around.

I feel better.

I can't skate.

I mean, I can't do that
good healthy.

I know you're a little
scared to go skating,

you think you're gonna
embarrass yourself

'cause you're not as good
as the other dads,

but you-you'll be fine.

I mean, that's my thing.

What-

If a dad is good
at skating, he's got issues.

I think it's awesome.

I use to love watching-
There's always like one

old man doing that.

Yeah.
You know where he's at?

He's doing fifteen to twenty.

Jep.

She's really looking
forward to this.

And I mean,
I'm starting to think

you're just trying to
milk it a few more days.

What are you talking about?

Jessica.

Yeah.

Priscilla just informed me
she doesn't feel well.

What a bummer.

She doesn't wanna
get out of the bed,

and she doesn't think she
can make the audition.

Well, just tell her
to lay down, and rest.

Okay.

All right, thanks.

She'll be fine.

I wonder where she got
the idea that if she didn't

really wanna go to the audition,

that all she has to do is just,

you know, act sick.

You?

No.

Not me.

I'm up.

I'm moving and shaking, baby.

I think she got it
from this man right here.

I don't.

Jep.

You are the boy that cried wolf.

Never heard of it.

Jep.

But I can howl like a wolf.

I think that you're fine.

I think you're fine.

Even with your witch hat on.

It's not-It isn't pointy-

it doesn't have a point on it.

Have you been casting
spells on people?

Pipe down there.

All right.

You need to go tell
Merritt you're going.

And then you also
need to go talk to

Priscilla and give her
a little pep talk,

and encourage her.

I'll try.

I mean, all I can do is try.

Come one.

Maybe I'll fall,
and end up paralyzed.

Give me a break.

All right.

Scil.

Yeah, dad.

Hey. Heard you weren't
feeling good.

Not that good.

How'd you get up the stairs?

Very slowly.

My back still hurts.

What about you?

My throat's sore.

My stomach hurts.

My head hurts.

And my knees are sore.

And my big toe is throbbing.

It's weird you're having
all these symptoms,

and it's the day of
your audition.

You think you're just trying
to play hooky?

Just a little nervous?

That's okay, look, I-

I use to get up-Well, still.

When I get up and speak
in front of people,

I get nervous every time.

And the first time I got up

and had to speak at like,

when I was like in high school,

I peed in my pants.

I cried, I laughed,
I did everything

you could do.

I threw up.

No, it wasn't funny at the time.

It's very embarrassing.

When you're gonna give
a pep talk to your kids,

you just basically
tell really embarrassing

stories about yourself,
and it makes them feel

like a thousand times better.

Scil look, it's important in
life to face your fears.

You gotta just get on
that horse and ride it.

Slap it in the rear.

I feel bad about my audition,

'cause I know I'm not gonna
pee or poop in my pants,

or throw up like my dad did.

For the record, Scil,

I didn't say I went
number two, okay.

It was number one,
and some throw up.

You think you can do it.

I guess.

But if you gotta pick,
I'd go throwing up.

Just less clean up.

You're really talented.

You really are.

Dad.

I love you.

I love you too.

Kay.

Awesome.

My goodness, Scilla,

I knew you could do this.

We are running late,

so we gotta go do your hair,

we gotta do make-up.

Come on.

Were you sitting outside
the whole time?

That's a little awkward, Kathy.

One day, you're
gonna thank for this.

She's gonna be a child star,

aren't you, baby.

That's great.

Come on, Scilla, let's go.

We gotta get ready.

And then when she gets older,

she'll be in drug rehab.

Come on, sweetie.

All right.

All right.

Y'all gonna help me up?

I can't move.

Kathy!

Come on you old hag, help me up.

All right,
daddies and daughters,

it's daddy and daughter
skate time.

All right.

Can I just put these on,

is that good enough.

No!

No, dad.

You gotta skate with me.

Baby, I ain't a good skater.

I'm just gonna tell
you right now.

I'm gonna be perfectly honest.

I'd never thought I'd be
intimidated by

twelve year old girls, but-

All the other daddies
are out there,

so you need to go out
with Merritt.

I love spending time
with my daughter.

I know you do.

I think it's silly
for a grown man

to roller skate.

I mean, that's just silly.

Are you putting those
on for real?

I ain't no idiot.

I ain't getting hurt
doing this crap.

Look, here's the thing.

If a guy looks like me,

and he gets really
into roller skating,

he's probably got mommy
issues as well.

You ain't right.

Grown men roller
skating ain't right.

All right.

Y'all good.

Here we go.

All right, be careful.

Merritt, don't leave
me behind now.

I won't.

And don't drag me
down if you're about to fall.

Have fun.

Baby steps.
See, like that.

You coming?

Good grief, man.

What, do these
people do this for

a living or something?

We're not turtles, dad.
Come on!

I'm going backwards.

That's embarrassing, babe.

You're holding up the line.

My shins are burning.

Are your shins not burning?

No.
They aren't.

Good grief.

You're walking,
that's not skating, babe.

This is my skating.

This is how I do.

After seeing Jep
on roller skates,

I totally get why
he didn't wanna go.

All right, let's take a break.

Dad.

What?

Let's sit here, and think about-

Let's map out our next moves.

Dad, we're just
going in circles.

My grandma could
skate faster than that.

I seriously doubt it.

He's terrible.

I don't-

I just don't know how you go.

You just glide, dad.

There's a speed limit, people.

I think my dad was
the worst skater

out of all the dads.

Nice job...
show off.

Just so you know,

I'll take that as a compliment.

You gotta skate.

Merritt!

You're leaving me.

Dad.

Come on.

My word.

Good job, Merritt!

Golly.

Whoa.

Whoa!

Dad.

Stop.

Yay!
Wave!

We're doing it, mama.

Crap.

Come on.
You wanna go skate?

I'm not going back.

Come on.

Well then we got to go
on a little couples skate.

That was fun.

Whoa!

I'm really doing it this time.

Till you fell.

Then it was just a little
embarrassing, but-

Jess.

Shut it down.
Shut it down.

You got this.

Shut her down.

Shut it down!
Shut it down.

The only bright side is,

I will never roller skate
again in my life.

Watch out.

Shut it down.

Don't pull me down!

What if your life
depended on it?

Yeah.

I'd die just a happy man.

Are you okay?

That hurt my back.

Are you okay, dad?

Never say never.

Never.

Come here.

You got it?

All right.

Just come over here.

Y'all help me.

Ready?

Yeah, my back hurts.

Okay.

Maybe skating's not your thing.

That hurt my back.

That's all of it.

That's gonna leave a bruise.

All right, guys,
how's daddy doing?

Are y'all taking care of him?

Not good.

Gus.

Even if there's a possibility
that you could get hurt,

you should still do
difficult things?

Tell daddy.

You might have to
do difficult things,

even if you are 100% positive

you're gonna die.

That's right!

Hey y'all.
She made it!

She's gonna be the
brick house pig.

High five, sis.

She really should've
gotten the part of the wolf.

Because the one that got it,

could not even roar.

Wolves howl, Kathy.

They howl?

Well I bet he couldn't
do that either.

Gus, you howl.
You howl like a wolf.

Aw, him love you daddy.