Janosik (1974–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Dobra cena - full transcript
Janosik
The Highland Robber
Part VIII
A Good Price
I'm telling you somebody tried
to get in there.
- Seen the chipped rocks?
- Sure I have.
Someone tried to get in.
- But they didn't.
- But they tried.
And if they did?
Oh, go jump in the lake!
I put in too much salt because of you!
Damn, you bonehead!
Do you like it?
- Who's going to eat it?
- See?!
Okay now. Let's take a look around.
Damn, if this soup is ruined...
I'll shove it down your throat!
He surely did miss you.
He asked all the girls around for laces.
I meant all old women...
Go pick some mushrooms, will you?
What mushroom? Here on the rocks?
But I can turn around.
Hide now!
The emperor's men.
Maryna, go back to our people.
We'll check what's up.
Those are not Poles.
They're Slovaks.
Shall we help them?
Let's go!
It's me, Kwiczoł!
- Are you alright?
- Of course I am!
- What is it?
- Too many for us.
- Into the woods?
- The woods it is.
Damn it!
I won't risk my life any more.
For those boneheads!
Those goddamn fools...
attacked the emperor's troops!
Ten against one.
We lost anyway.
Not us, the Slovaks did.
They won't get away with this.
What are you going to do?
I'll think of something.
The hell with it!
My lord... My lord...
the general's carriage has just arrived.
- What?
- I saw it through the window.
I am eternally grateful to you,
general...
for your help in arresting those
brigands.
They are just a bunch of stupid boors.
I can take them down every day
by the dozen.
And yet you were unable to catch
Janosik.
Is Janosik still alive?
Alive and kicking. He fought your men.
Even took some of them down.
We don't have him today,
but we'll get him tomorrow.
I'll bet you 100 ducats to one...
say even 200 ducats, that you'll fail.
How is that?
Are you questioning...
the skills of an imperial general?
Oh no, general...
I highly appreciate your courage
and prowess...
which is why in order to please you...
we'll be having a torture session
for the bandits tomorrow.
I assure you that even the Imperial
Opera House...
cannot offer you an equally
interesting spectacle.
- You called, my lord?
- Yes.
Please invent some fancy tortures
for our bandits.
We want to impress our kind guest.
This should be something really
entertaining.
Like execution by wheel,
quartering or impalement.
Or hanging by the ribs...
I'll do my best, your lordship
to make the show particularly
impressive.
Very well.
Any news?
People in the castle say the general...
who came there with his army...
will be hanging all the bandits.
But he'll torture them beforehand.
They say bandits are in for hard times.
Every bandit arrested...
will be hanged without trial.
In Hungary, he had two villages
burned down with peasants...
for helping the bandits.
They say they will get rid
of the bandits in two weeks.
Gather everyone at the stream.
We have to rescue them.
There has to be a way.
But what way?
Tell us if you're so smart!
I've got it!
You've got shit.
True.
We'll find the general...
and kidnap him.
How are we going to kidnap him?
How should I know?
He's right.
We'll kidnap the general.
They keep the bandits in the dungeon.
And the guards watch over the general.
Have you ever hunted wolves?
We'll toss him a carcass and he'll come
to take it.
Heard that, smart ass?
The general is ours.
When I come up with something...
Yeah, smarty-pants...
I was just thinking...
who might be the carcass.
And I got it.
- Who?
- You!
- Me?
- Yes, you.
This has to be someone important...
handsome and refined.
Otherwise, the general
won't fall for it.
You're right.
Someone important...
good-looking and smart.
If you take the devil's snare...
mix it with a witch's dung
and drink it with beer or wine...
it will make you dance for two weeks
until you die.
Who would have thought?
Can you concoct something...
that will make you only dance a little?
Sure I can.
But then you don't add dung and only
a little fox fat instead.
It works well at weddings...
because you dance only for one night.
Still, they will have to bury you
in the ground at noon...
so that the poison wears off.
And what we're making now...
if you give it to someone to drink...
they will get a terrible pain in the
back... and will stay like this all day.
The pain will be unbearable.
And when they drink goat's milk...
the problem will magically go away.
As little as this is enough for
an entire regiment.
Maryna, please take it.
You know how to use it.
What if they throw me out of the inn?
You have to do it somehow.
None of us will make it to the inn
right now.
Maryna...
What are you doing here, Maryna?
I just came in to help.
I heard your wife was sick.
You'd better go home now.
There are plenty
of drunk soldiers here.
An accident may happen.
I'll stay in the kitchen.
They won't even see me.
Wojciech!
Some highlanders are approaching.
They're not highlanders.
They're bandits.
Don't move.
- Antek!
- What is it?
Get the burgrave now!
What?
My lord, bandits are approaching
the castle.
Get the hayduks to arrest them.
- Move it!
- Yes sir.
Take all of them! Take all of them!
Take all of them!
Open the gate.
There they are, get them!
Follow me!
Hold it!
Get them!
Burgrave, sir...
Those scamps!
Run! Let's get out of here!
Stop, you arseholes! Get them now!
The other way! Where are you going?
- It's plague!
- What plague?
Smallpox! We're infected!
Don't touch me, you idiot!
Plague?
Open up! Open up!
- Sweet Jesus!
- What is it?
- Oh my god, it hurts!
- Please, sit down.
- It hurts.
- What hurts you so much?
- My leg hurts!
- What hurts so much?
Damn you!
They did run fast!
Imagine the stench in the castle!
The burgrave must have shat his pants.
This one's mine!
Stay away from me!
- Where's the plague?
- Here.
What are you saying? In the castle?
Stay away from me!
- What's the plague?
- Smallpox.
It's the last thing I needed.
- My lord, I have a great idea.
- No more of your ideas!
But the general...
What about him?
He must not find out.
Right.
The general must not find out about it.
Bloody idiots!
Come in.
Did you want to see us?
Yes.
What's going on?
My soldiers are in agony. What is this?
Maybe they got drunk? We have
strong moonshine, mead and wine.
That's a lie!
My men never drink on duty!
Tell me, what were the troops doing
in the village?
They were drinking, my lord.
At the inn.
They were drinking and the general
didn't even know...
Drinking doesn't make people ill!
You've poisoned my soldiers!
I'll report this to Vienna faster than
you'll ever know.
I'll send a personal messenger,
right now!
He's sending... right now, oh God...
That Janosik is going to ruin me.
- I have this idea...
- Don't touch me!
You could be infected!
Don't touch me, you pocky face!
- Give me some.
- Be careful or you'll choke...
That's not smallpox. It's a louse!
They should let them out now.
They may let them out...
or they may not.
They may just kill them in the dungeon.
The burgrave is shitting his pants!
Watch out or you'll burn it!
Something seems off.
The idea was good.
Scare the general...
kidnap him and trade him for
the Slovaks.
We poisoned the soldiers...
the castle was shut due to the plague...
but the general hasn't budged.
He just won't come out.
I know!
The Count is hiding the truth
from him...
he's afraid the general would take
his men and leave him all alone.
See? There has to be a way...
to let the general know about
the plague in the castle.
Maryna, you'll go to the castle.
You already sent me once to the inn
to those drunk pigs.
I'm not going anywhere!
Shoot his window with a slingshot.
Franz!
I don't get this stupid language.
Read it to me!
Your lordship general...
the Count wants all your men to die.
There is plague in the castle.
- It's smallpox!
- What?
Smallpox!
Prepare the carriage! We're leaving now!
Move it!
They are sitting there...
gazing in their eyes.
Hey general, show us
If you are scared of us
Hey general, show us
If you are scared of us
Shaking in his boots
Looking around in terror
Hey, just look at this mug
And see how scared he is
Hey, just look at this mug
And see how scared he is
I am pleased to welcome you, general...
under our arrest.
You'll pay for this with your head!
There's smallpox in the castle.
Everyone's going to die.
I don't want to die!
Your men had beer spiced with herbs.
They'll be fine by tomorrow.
You idiot!
So what do you want from me? Ransom?
We wanted to chase you away from
the castle...
and it worked because you're
chicken-hearted.
I know no fear.
I've fought 17 battles...
120 skirmishes and have been
wounded 14 times.
Nothing to brag about.
I've stolen 3,000 sheep...
and eaten 2,000 of them...
including four rotten
and I'm still alive.
There's no time to talk.
We've taken you hostage, general.
If the Count releases the bandits
arrested we will let you go.
And if not?
I'm not used to accepting ultimatums
from thugs.
I suggest you do.
Bandits once caught a black sheep
Hey, they'll skin it well
Hey, they'll skin it well
Coward! Do it!
Wait a second!
Take your boots off!
Get on the horse,
you'll get there sooner!
Tell me the story once again.
Yes, my lordship.
But they'll set the general free...
if you release the bandits...
you keep in the dungeon.
They are my bandits.
Let me remind you...
it was our troops who caught
the bandits...
and the general reports to the Marshall
in Vienna.
- Come here, traitor!
- Me, a traitor?
I'm the faithful servant...
of your lordship, sir.
What's this?
I think we've already met, burgrave.
I don't recall.
We have to let the thugs go.
- Veto!
- We have to!
- Veto!
- We have to!
We have to free our beloved general.
That's a different story.
Follow me, sunshine...
we'll let the bad boys go.
- Untie them and let them go.
- What?
Didn't you hear me? Let them go!
You just wait here, sunshine.
Everybody out! Move it!
Hurry up!
- Untie them and let them go.
- These bastards?
Didn't you hear me?
Get out of here!
Go now!
Get lost!
Chieftain!
- Chieftain!
- Over here.
We made it.
I heard the Count is releasing
the Slovaks.
They'll come to trade to the hut...
where we keep the general.
There'll be up to 15 people.
There's a bandit hanging by the ribs
There's a bandit hanging by the ribs
And the masters ask him
Where's the gold and silver
Hey, where's the gold and silver
Even if they hang me
On three different gibbets
Even if they hang me
On three different gibbets
I'll never tell you
About my hidden treasures
Hey, about my hidden treasures
I think it's them!
Two officers...
leading bandits.
Go and hide.
I don't see the general.
I don't see the bandits.
I consider you criminals who cannot
be trusted.
I don't see the bandits.
I must see the general.
I must see the bandits.
What guarantee do I have?
- None.
- How's that?
I can set them free anytime...
but then the imperial court
will be mourning...
the loss of a great general
and his brave adjutant.
Sparrow, free the general!
You're free to go, general.
You'll hang!
You're free to go.
What took you so long?
Yah!
The Highland Robber
Part VIII
A Good Price
I'm telling you somebody tried
to get in there.
- Seen the chipped rocks?
- Sure I have.
Someone tried to get in.
- But they didn't.
- But they tried.
And if they did?
Oh, go jump in the lake!
I put in too much salt because of you!
Damn, you bonehead!
Do you like it?
- Who's going to eat it?
- See?!
Okay now. Let's take a look around.
Damn, if this soup is ruined...
I'll shove it down your throat!
He surely did miss you.
He asked all the girls around for laces.
I meant all old women...
Go pick some mushrooms, will you?
What mushroom? Here on the rocks?
But I can turn around.
Hide now!
The emperor's men.
Maryna, go back to our people.
We'll check what's up.
Those are not Poles.
They're Slovaks.
Shall we help them?
Let's go!
It's me, Kwiczoł!
- Are you alright?
- Of course I am!
- What is it?
- Too many for us.
- Into the woods?
- The woods it is.
Damn it!
I won't risk my life any more.
For those boneheads!
Those goddamn fools...
attacked the emperor's troops!
Ten against one.
We lost anyway.
Not us, the Slovaks did.
They won't get away with this.
What are you going to do?
I'll think of something.
The hell with it!
My lord... My lord...
the general's carriage has just arrived.
- What?
- I saw it through the window.
I am eternally grateful to you,
general...
for your help in arresting those
brigands.
They are just a bunch of stupid boors.
I can take them down every day
by the dozen.
And yet you were unable to catch
Janosik.
Is Janosik still alive?
Alive and kicking. He fought your men.
Even took some of them down.
We don't have him today,
but we'll get him tomorrow.
I'll bet you 100 ducats to one...
say even 200 ducats, that you'll fail.
How is that?
Are you questioning...
the skills of an imperial general?
Oh no, general...
I highly appreciate your courage
and prowess...
which is why in order to please you...
we'll be having a torture session
for the bandits tomorrow.
I assure you that even the Imperial
Opera House...
cannot offer you an equally
interesting spectacle.
- You called, my lord?
- Yes.
Please invent some fancy tortures
for our bandits.
We want to impress our kind guest.
This should be something really
entertaining.
Like execution by wheel,
quartering or impalement.
Or hanging by the ribs...
I'll do my best, your lordship
to make the show particularly
impressive.
Very well.
Any news?
People in the castle say the general...
who came there with his army...
will be hanging all the bandits.
But he'll torture them beforehand.
They say bandits are in for hard times.
Every bandit arrested...
will be hanged without trial.
In Hungary, he had two villages
burned down with peasants...
for helping the bandits.
They say they will get rid
of the bandits in two weeks.
Gather everyone at the stream.
We have to rescue them.
There has to be a way.
But what way?
Tell us if you're so smart!
I've got it!
You've got shit.
True.
We'll find the general...
and kidnap him.
How are we going to kidnap him?
How should I know?
He's right.
We'll kidnap the general.
They keep the bandits in the dungeon.
And the guards watch over the general.
Have you ever hunted wolves?
We'll toss him a carcass and he'll come
to take it.
Heard that, smart ass?
The general is ours.
When I come up with something...
Yeah, smarty-pants...
I was just thinking...
who might be the carcass.
And I got it.
- Who?
- You!
- Me?
- Yes, you.
This has to be someone important...
handsome and refined.
Otherwise, the general
won't fall for it.
You're right.
Someone important...
good-looking and smart.
If you take the devil's snare...
mix it with a witch's dung
and drink it with beer or wine...
it will make you dance for two weeks
until you die.
Who would have thought?
Can you concoct something...
that will make you only dance a little?
Sure I can.
But then you don't add dung and only
a little fox fat instead.
It works well at weddings...
because you dance only for one night.
Still, they will have to bury you
in the ground at noon...
so that the poison wears off.
And what we're making now...
if you give it to someone to drink...
they will get a terrible pain in the
back... and will stay like this all day.
The pain will be unbearable.
And when they drink goat's milk...
the problem will magically go away.
As little as this is enough for
an entire regiment.
Maryna, please take it.
You know how to use it.
What if they throw me out of the inn?
You have to do it somehow.
None of us will make it to the inn
right now.
Maryna...
What are you doing here, Maryna?
I just came in to help.
I heard your wife was sick.
You'd better go home now.
There are plenty
of drunk soldiers here.
An accident may happen.
I'll stay in the kitchen.
They won't even see me.
Wojciech!
Some highlanders are approaching.
They're not highlanders.
They're bandits.
Don't move.
- Antek!
- What is it?
Get the burgrave now!
What?
My lord, bandits are approaching
the castle.
Get the hayduks to arrest them.
- Move it!
- Yes sir.
Take all of them! Take all of them!
Take all of them!
Open the gate.
There they are, get them!
Follow me!
Hold it!
Get them!
Burgrave, sir...
Those scamps!
Run! Let's get out of here!
Stop, you arseholes! Get them now!
The other way! Where are you going?
- It's plague!
- What plague?
Smallpox! We're infected!
Don't touch me, you idiot!
Plague?
Open up! Open up!
- Sweet Jesus!
- What is it?
- Oh my god, it hurts!
- Please, sit down.
- It hurts.
- What hurts you so much?
- My leg hurts!
- What hurts so much?
Damn you!
They did run fast!
Imagine the stench in the castle!
The burgrave must have shat his pants.
This one's mine!
Stay away from me!
- Where's the plague?
- Here.
What are you saying? In the castle?
Stay away from me!
- What's the plague?
- Smallpox.
It's the last thing I needed.
- My lord, I have a great idea.
- No more of your ideas!
But the general...
What about him?
He must not find out.
Right.
The general must not find out about it.
Bloody idiots!
Come in.
Did you want to see us?
Yes.
What's going on?
My soldiers are in agony. What is this?
Maybe they got drunk? We have
strong moonshine, mead and wine.
That's a lie!
My men never drink on duty!
Tell me, what were the troops doing
in the village?
They were drinking, my lord.
At the inn.
They were drinking and the general
didn't even know...
Drinking doesn't make people ill!
You've poisoned my soldiers!
I'll report this to Vienna faster than
you'll ever know.
I'll send a personal messenger,
right now!
He's sending... right now, oh God...
That Janosik is going to ruin me.
- I have this idea...
- Don't touch me!
You could be infected!
Don't touch me, you pocky face!
- Give me some.
- Be careful or you'll choke...
That's not smallpox. It's a louse!
They should let them out now.
They may let them out...
or they may not.
They may just kill them in the dungeon.
The burgrave is shitting his pants!
Watch out or you'll burn it!
Something seems off.
The idea was good.
Scare the general...
kidnap him and trade him for
the Slovaks.
We poisoned the soldiers...
the castle was shut due to the plague...
but the general hasn't budged.
He just won't come out.
I know!
The Count is hiding the truth
from him...
he's afraid the general would take
his men and leave him all alone.
See? There has to be a way...
to let the general know about
the plague in the castle.
Maryna, you'll go to the castle.
You already sent me once to the inn
to those drunk pigs.
I'm not going anywhere!
Shoot his window with a slingshot.
Franz!
I don't get this stupid language.
Read it to me!
Your lordship general...
the Count wants all your men to die.
There is plague in the castle.
- It's smallpox!
- What?
Smallpox!
Prepare the carriage! We're leaving now!
Move it!
They are sitting there...
gazing in their eyes.
Hey general, show us
If you are scared of us
Hey general, show us
If you are scared of us
Shaking in his boots
Looking around in terror
Hey, just look at this mug
And see how scared he is
Hey, just look at this mug
And see how scared he is
I am pleased to welcome you, general...
under our arrest.
You'll pay for this with your head!
There's smallpox in the castle.
Everyone's going to die.
I don't want to die!
Your men had beer spiced with herbs.
They'll be fine by tomorrow.
You idiot!
So what do you want from me? Ransom?
We wanted to chase you away from
the castle...
and it worked because you're
chicken-hearted.
I know no fear.
I've fought 17 battles...
120 skirmishes and have been
wounded 14 times.
Nothing to brag about.
I've stolen 3,000 sheep...
and eaten 2,000 of them...
including four rotten
and I'm still alive.
There's no time to talk.
We've taken you hostage, general.
If the Count releases the bandits
arrested we will let you go.
And if not?
I'm not used to accepting ultimatums
from thugs.
I suggest you do.
Bandits once caught a black sheep
Hey, they'll skin it well
Hey, they'll skin it well
Coward! Do it!
Wait a second!
Take your boots off!
Get on the horse,
you'll get there sooner!
Tell me the story once again.
Yes, my lordship.
But they'll set the general free...
if you release the bandits...
you keep in the dungeon.
They are my bandits.
Let me remind you...
it was our troops who caught
the bandits...
and the general reports to the Marshall
in Vienna.
- Come here, traitor!
- Me, a traitor?
I'm the faithful servant...
of your lordship, sir.
What's this?
I think we've already met, burgrave.
I don't recall.
We have to let the thugs go.
- Veto!
- We have to!
- Veto!
- We have to!
We have to free our beloved general.
That's a different story.
Follow me, sunshine...
we'll let the bad boys go.
- Untie them and let them go.
- What?
Didn't you hear me? Let them go!
You just wait here, sunshine.
Everybody out! Move it!
Hurry up!
- Untie them and let them go.
- These bastards?
Didn't you hear me?
Get out of here!
Go now!
Get lost!
Chieftain!
- Chieftain!
- Over here.
We made it.
I heard the Count is releasing
the Slovaks.
They'll come to trade to the hut...
where we keep the general.
There'll be up to 15 people.
There's a bandit hanging by the ribs
There's a bandit hanging by the ribs
And the masters ask him
Where's the gold and silver
Hey, where's the gold and silver
Even if they hang me
On three different gibbets
Even if they hang me
On three different gibbets
I'll never tell you
About my hidden treasures
Hey, about my hidden treasures
I think it's them!
Two officers...
leading bandits.
Go and hide.
I don't see the general.
I don't see the bandits.
I consider you criminals who cannot
be trusted.
I don't see the bandits.
I must see the general.
I must see the bandits.
What guarantee do I have?
- None.
- How's that?
I can set them free anytime...
but then the imperial court
will be mourning...
the loss of a great general
and his brave adjutant.
Sparrow, free the general!
You're free to go, general.
You'll hang!
You're free to go.
What took you so long?
Yah!