Janosik (1974–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Tancowali zbójnicy - full transcript

The Highland Robber

Part V
Dancing Outlaws

His Serene Highness
Count Horvath.

"My Lord Brother, I'm pleased to inform
you that both me and my daughters

are in good health."
Thank God.

"They will join you someday soon."
That's the last thing I needed now!

"I believe Belunia will bring some
joyful turmoil into your doorstep.

We're all drained by her discord here."
Well, I imagine.

"But under your careful eye,
she might meet a promising

young lad for future matrimony."

Now I'm a matchmaker!

"I entrust you with the
guardianship and enclose...

my fraternal greetings. May both God and
people bestow you with their kindness.

From our Vienna estate,
Prince Jan Karol Horvath."

Damn it! Dear brother...

Like I don't have enough
on my hands.

First, the bandits, and now Belunia!
The Beelzebub of Vienna!

Sodom and Gomorrah in the castle!

She'll bring some merriness
around here, my lord.

- We'll organise some celebrations!
- Celebrations...

The coffers are empty!

She'll lead all my hayduks astray!

And when she's done with them
she'll seduce the bandits!

Advise me!

What should I do?

Come on!

- I know.
- What?

- I know.
- What?

Bring lord Szukis to the castle

and marry him off to Miss Belunia.
It'll get her off our hands!

But he's poor as a church mouse!

Oh, you're smart as a whip!

What else?
You're always bursting with ideas!

- I got it!
- What?

- I got it!
- What?

- I got it!
- What?

Cracov's treasurer...

The one appointed just now...

They say he's a wise and wealthy man.




The one from Lithuania?

Isn't he a savage, then?

It's all the better.

- He'll tame her, then.
- Alright.

Let the chips fall where they may.

Send the messengers...

to the treasurer.


What do you want?

My lord, the coach
can be seen from the tower.

Gather everyone
at the courtyard, hurry!



This stooge is never around
when I need him the most.

My dear Belunia...



Belunia is a delight.

Be kind to her.

You look so lovely!

Vienna is boring, I'm so glad that...

My dear beloved uncle!
I hope I find you in good humour.

My beloved Belunia, what a joy!

We'll turn your frown upside down!
We brought new dances from Vienna!

We're going to have a ball!
See you around!

Then ball it is!

Slaughter the pigs!

Did you write to this...

- Lithuanian?
- Yes, my dear Count,

to Cracov's treasurer.

I've sent the letters through
a special messenger.

Invite the local nobility as well.
Let them see how the Count celebrates!

Why are you staring like that?

I'm not staring, my lord. I'm thinking.

I'm thinking...

We'll have the local nobility...

But what about women?

So I'm thinking...

What did you come up with this time?

I have a certain...

delicate plan in mind.

No, no, no...
Don't tell me anything!

Do as you please.
Just make the ball buoyant!

- It will be, and very much so!
- Alright, go on now!

Let me go!

Help me!


Help me!

What in God's name are you doing?

What did these girls ever do
to you? Who'll work in the fields?

The Count hosts a treasurer from Cracov.

They're throwing a ball. They won't
dance with each other, will they?

- And you won't be tamed, will you?
- It's the treasurer's first time here.

Take her!
To the cart with her!

Let me go!

Let me go!

Let me go!

Get going! Go!


Where are your eyes, Sparrow?

- You ain't light as your namesake!
- They took the girls to the castle!

- We need to tell the Chief!
- To the castle, huh?

To entertain the guests, I guess.

We don't have much fun around here.

But daddy did not forget about you.
He's arranged a cavalier for you.

He's not the first one
and won't be the last.

Now I just want to hunt down
some... wild game.

You better be careful Belunia...

One can find both beasts
and bandits in these woods.

Oh, really?

That's wonderful!

I have to admit, it got so
boring in Vienna recently...

that to face some treacherous
bandits would be a dream of mine!

I see him! Uncle, look!

Hold still, my dear. We'll get him soon.

Did we get him?

Congratulations are at hand, dear uncle.
Wonderful shot.

- It's nothing.
- Well, well... And with a pistol.

A moment, my lord.

One should not take the game
one has not shot himself.

Everything in this forest belongs
to me. Besides, it is me who shot him!

- You've missed the mark, my lord.
- But he dropped dead, didn't he?

Well, what do you respond to
that, dear uncle?

You have no right to hunt in my forests!

You'll rot in a dungeon!

My men will show up any minute now!

At the moment, they're pretty far away.

My lord doesn't recognise me?

- We've seen each other at the castle...
- Silence!


To be so precise with an arrow!

It's nothing.

I can teach you, my lady.

Leave it, uncle.
You might hurt yourself.

What do they call you?


You can learn the rest from your uncle!

- They've taken Maryna too?
- Yes.

They say it's for a ball
thrown for Cracov's treasurer.

If he's coming from Cracov
he must go through the Białka River.


We'll have to give our lord treasurer
a warm welcome in our humble abode.

Why did you stop, you fool!

Zbigniew! Bring them to order!

Out of our way!

Out of our way!


Clear the way for the lord
treasurer's coach!

Get off!

Get out! What are you waiting for?

Get off the coach!


There's a price to pay for an attack on
the treasurer!

- You'll pay with your heads!
- Put him down.

Let's go, come on!

Don't touch me, you rube!

And who are you?


A bandit.

That's what they tell me.

- Do you know who's in front of you?
- I do.

I'll have you whipped or hanged.

- It seems I have the upper hand now.
- You'd dare to raise your hand at me?

Sure he would! Oh, yes he would!


It'll fit you, I think.

- His size?
- That's right.

Then show me that pot-belly of yours!

What will you do if it's
some old whinger?

I'll have some fun at his expense.

I'll make him fall for me
just for the fun of it.

"My lord, your mighty arms
weren't made solely for fighting...

take my hand and lead me
to the chambers."

So you're dreaming of
a young, beautiful lad.

The girls are getting ready, my lord.

And what about this... Maryna...

You know which one...

- Is she going to be there?
- Yes, she is!

Don't get off! They have to greet us!

- What?
- My lord... in the courtyard...

- Come on, say it!
- The coach!

My ladies, are there only
the two of you here?

There are no more ladies in the castle?

And where are your courtiers,
my lord treasurer?


They'll join us all at the ball.

A lot of folks.

Then the other ladies will
join us at the ball as well.


They went this way, burgrave!

Very well!

It tastes very well!

What is all of this supposed to mean?

Who are those people?

They're my...

Those were my lord treasurer's
loyal servants.

Alright, but what are they doing here?


They're sightseeing...

looking at all the wonders here...

to put them up at our palace
in a similar way.

This wine...

seems a little watered down.

I'm hoping at the ball... The ladies
will be more scrumptious.

Please excuse them.
They're young and coy.

What are you still doing here?
Let's go, wash up!

Come on, don't be shy!


- Is it you? What are you doing here?
- Don't you worry. We're all here.

We won't let them hurt you. Bye!

Come on, get in the water, and scurry!

Didn't I tell you something?

Take off your clothes, be quick!

Get out of here, you rascals!


Quiet girls!

Janosik's men are here and the
courtiers won't lay their hands on us!

What's happening here?

What are you doing? You beastly bums!

You've laid eyes on some men
and you're already beside yourselves!

My lords...

Here's our honourable guest...

Cracov's treasurer,
lord Jakub Wielosławski.

Welcome our lord!

I'm humbled to introduce him...

and, together with you, make him
feel welcome in my court.

Come in, welcome.

Don't you recognise me, my lady?

Is it you?

I see the heart
failed to recognise its pursuer.

The pursuer...
Looked better without the mustache.

I wouldn't be able to
get in otherwise...

and I'd miss a sight
of a beautiful princess.

I like you.

Then the fake mustache was worth it.

Better put it back on
or someone will recognise you.

So the king went to relieve himself
in the bushes, pants in hand...

The beast was approaching him!

Everything was covered in snow.

I sidestepped... closer and closer...
to the king.

I took out my pistol, aimed it,
and bang!

The bear was dead as a doornail!

And the king, my lord, said:
"Give me a smooch, Kwiczoł!"

What do you mean "a smooch?"

Well... Something or other.

He's a kindly fella, this king.

A good-natured chap.

A truly wonderful story!

What worries me the most is that
no one in Vienna will believe me!

Let's go!

...then we took that bear,
gutted, skinned, and stuffed it.

The king took it
to display it in the court...

In his bedroom, I think.

And he gave me this
ring for a job well done.

My lord, what a joy to meet you!

My lord...

My lady, I'm happy
to be at your pleasure!

And I thought the engagement
was doomed...

My lord, the girls are ready.

My lords!

A good host cares for his
guest's body...

as well as his soul.

May I present you with a surprise.

Now that's what I call a good idea!

I've always been with the people
and they've been with me.

I even taught the highlanders'
band to play the minuet!

My ladies, the music and wine
make me light on my feet!

We will dance!

What are you doing?

I wanted to take a peek!

- A peek? Prepare the rooms for them!
- Yes, sir.

Enough with these antics!

Let's do it our way!

Boys, make them dance to our tune!

We'll show them how it's done!

Come here!

I'm here for the Count.

Don't you know who you're
talking to, you boor?

Seize them! They're unarmed.

Move, you fools!

Get him!

- No, not me!
- Alright, alright...

I want him alive!

Get him!

- Get him too!
- Not so fast.

Take it easy.

Scream louder and you
won't get hurt, come on!

Now you have to let us out

or else your dear daughter gets injured.

Let them go! Don't kill them!

Thank you very much for
your hospitality!

Secula seculorum.

Run faster!

Are you out of your mind?

They'll butcher my kid!

Cry out, you're kidnapped, after all!

Daddy, save us!

Daddy, save us!

Do something, you half-wit!

- Guards!
- Guards!

- To me!
- To him!

Oh, my beloved uncle! That's the
best ball I've ever been to!

They won't believe it in Vienna!

Thank you for the wonderful,
marvelous idea you had!

A marvelous idea...
I wonder who came up with it! Who?

It smells as it should!

Why doesn't he want to eat it?

Come on! Bite it!

You'll starve if you refuse to eat!

End of the line!
Off you get!

Leave it.

- Whose is it?
- What?

- And that?
- Ah, that's yours.

Even he wouldn't eat it!

God damn it! A soldier escaped

while you were busy with my food!
They would've put us all on a meat hook!

Bartek was looking after him, not me!
He fell asleep, so the soldier ran!

What are you looking at? Set him loose!

Here's your coat...

and don't forget the hat...

lest the sun will dry out what's
left under your poor scalp.

I won't give the pants back,
I'm too shy in front of the ladies!

You're still here, my dear...

Are you pleased with our hospitality?

It doesn't matter.
You'll hang for this, anyway.


Give my warm regards to the Count.

Our dearest, may fortune smile upon you!

Thank you with all our hearts!

Are you not going to thank me?

Haven't you had enough?

Not nearly enough...