Jane the Virgin (2014–…): Season 2, Episode 20 - Chapter Forty-Two - full transcript

The Villanueva women have a tradition for Mother's Day and Jane (Gina Rodriguez) is excited to get to participate in her first one as a mom. However, their plans are thwarted when Petra (Yael Grobglas) invites everyone to a brunch instead. Jane's TA position is put into jeopardy when a mysterious ad appears in the college newspaper. Rogelio (Jaime Camil) is hurt when Dina (guest star Judy Reyes) doesn't invite him to her birthday party, so he asks Jane to help in an unusual way. Rafael (Justin Baldoni) finds himself in big trouble thanks to his half-brother. Meanwhile, Xo finds herself in a compromising position. Ivonne Coll and Brett Dier also star.

There you are. Last we left our Jane,

her fiancé Michael had lost his job

due to a little, uh, bad publicity,

so Jane picked up some extra work

writing other people's college essays.

And I'm the one paying you

to write the essay to get him in.

But her conscience got

the better of her, so she quit.

Unfortunately, Petra's
twin sister, Anezka,

who is epileptic...

- Oh.
- Leaping lizards!

I forgot to mention, Petra has
a twin sister named Anezka.

What the... Anyway, Anezka
thought she was being helpful.

Well, I not thinking

Jane is perfect, not at all.

And so, she sabotaged Jane.

I know! Leaping lizards, indeed.

Oh, and speaking of shady relatives,

you'll recall Rafael's mother

was the crime lord known as Mutter.

- _
- Oh, and his long lost brother showed up.

Did you know our mother
was a crime lord?

No, did you?

Where were you? You
weren't with our mother.

Right here, on this boat.

Unfortunately, Derek

seemed to be up to a
little sabotage of his own.

It's a go. Let's take him down.

I know, straight out
of a telenovela, right?

Which brings us to Rogelio,
who started sleeping with

- the head writer of his show.
- I think you like her a lot.

Which was a challenge for Xo,

but Rogelio promised
she could still record

a song for his show,

and speaking of big productions,

we are T-minus 17 days

before Jane and Michael's wedding,

so let's hop on it.

Jane Gloriana Villanueva didn't
remember her first Mother's Day

because she was a baby at the time.

Happy Mother's Day!

Come, come, I have

a surprise for you.

Today, we're

going to do nothing

but sit in our pj's,

watch the marathon of

Lagrimas de tu Corazon

on channel five, and eat
all the ice cream we want.



Come on, aren't you dying

to find out if Eva's secret twin

is working with Alfonso

to bring down the Ramirez empire?



It's my first Mother's Day as a mother,

and I want to spend it with my mom.

Chunky Monkey?

Two pints.

And so a tradition was born.


binge watching,
before streaming.

Yes, it was a thing.


Over the years, the format changed,

but the fundamentals were
a day of pj's,

pints and telenovelas.


It was Juan Carlos's twin?!


Ricardo has a twin brother?

Don't act so surprised, Jane.

It's a well-worn trope of the genre...

I did not see that coming.

But it still works every time,

and Jane was planning
on spending her first

Mother's Day as a mother
carrying on the tradition.

I'm torn.


Do we revisit a classic like Lagrimas

de tu Corazon,

or do we binge this new one from Mexico,

La Danza

de los Criminales.

But then...




Oh, hi, Jane.

What's this?

Oh, nothing.

Oh, well, I-I just thought it would be

simpler if, um, if we all
did something together,

so Rafael wouldn't have to

split his time.

You're hosting a Mother's Day brunch?

Oh, it's not a big deal.

You made cards.

Yeah, K-Krishna got carried away.

Um, anyway, your-your
whole family's invited.

If you want.

You don't have to come.

We'd love to, Petra. Thank you.


You really said yes?

Of course, I said yes.

But I just finished setting up

the TV for your binge watch.

Oh, well, guess we have

to call Petra and cancel.

Stop, she's making a real effort here.

It's sweet,

and we're...

sort of a family...

it's important to show up.

Right, Abuela?


Well, tough.

We're all going.

Got it. I should run.

Can't be late for my
first day at the new job.

Pretty sure your boss

will cut you some slack.

True, for the record,
since his new boss was...











Okay, guys, come on.

Let's keep it friendly for the EPK.



Yes, Rogelio,

let's not turn this
into a pissing contest.

I understand why you'd be

intimidated, I have a
very propulsive stream.

All right,

let's take five.

Michael, please.

Uh, I don't think you've

met my new head of security.

This is

Michael Cordero,

former star detective of the Miami PD.


Nice to meet you.

I had to beef up protection

due to my well-publicized
stalking incident.

Have you ever been stalked, Esteban?

So many times.

Funny, I don't recall
anything high-profile.

I kept it out of the press,

but I did "beef up"

my personal security, as well.

This is Donny,

former world champion

of the MMA circuit.


please carry me to craft service.

He's so ridiculous.

Can you carry me?


I'm kidding.

I'm kidding, of course.

Come, let me tell you all about the big

Mother's Day surprise
I am planning for Jane.

Oh, okay, just remember,

Jane doesn't love surprises.

True, for the record.

And unfortunately,

she was about to get a big one.

Sorry, but your phone's been blowing up

for the last 30 minutes.

A lot of unknown numbers.

12 messages? That's bizarre.

What is it?

Someone wants to pay me to
write their college term paper.

And another one.

Hey, I'm replying
to the ad in University Daily

about how I can pay
you to write my essays.

And I have this Earth
Science thing coming up...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

"Jane Villanueva will write

your college essay for money?"

Who did this?

What's going on?

Call me back. We'll talk prices.

Oh, no, my advisor called.

Hi, Jane...

Please, please, please don't
be about the advertisement.

There was an advertisement
that Professor Blake and I

need to speak with you
about as soon as possible.

Okay. It's okay.

She hates me, but Blake mostly doesn't.

Professor Blake, Professor Donaldson



I just want to assure you,

I do not write college papers for money.

I am clearly 100% against cheating.

Then why is there an ad in the
paper offering your services?

I have no idea.

It's obviously some sort of prank.

I mean, even if I did
write papers for money,

which, again, I don't,

would I ever advertise
in the school paper?

She's right, Richard.

Why would she do this? She's not stupid.

Aw, she called Jane not stupid.

So who do you think did it?

I have no idea.

But I promise I'm going to get

- to the bottom of this.
- Here's the thing,

regardless of whether or
not you placed the ad...

I definitely didn't.

Drama just seems to follow you.

No! Oh! Wait!

I'm sorry, you can finish
out your current class,

but I can't have you
back to TA next semester.

Really, Richard?


I'm telling you,
Donaldson's my only hope.

I think if I can prove to her

that I was set up, she'll help me.

So, I went to the school paper

and got the buyer's e-mail address.


So, I just set up my
own fake e-mail account,

and pretended to be from the school,

and asked if they
wanted to rerun the ad.

Ooh, nice.

Very Jessica Jones.

Thank you.

I just, I need to prove
to Professor Blake

that this was a mistake.

And that drama doesn't follow me.

In Jane's defense,

drama is in her blood.

We have reached Sting-tantric
levels of love-making.

Add it to your special skills.




Why are you hurrying off?

- Work.
- Ah, yes.

You'll recall, Rogelio's booty call

had recently turned
into a full-blown crush.

- Where'd I put my phone?
- Um...



Don't worry, Ro.

That could totally be an oversight.

Here it is.

So, uh, Dina,

what are you doing Saturday?

I have plans.


They're just the preliminary plans,

of course.

I'm impressed.

Your architect did a spectacular job.

As my grandmother used to say,

"Ay, not this guy."

I'm glad you're both happy.

Very happy.

Call the firm,

tell them we're moving forward.


What's this?

Why does everyone keep asking
that? Read the invitation.

That's the whole point of an invitation.

You're throwing a Mother's Day brunch?


Jane's family's coming.

I just thought it would
be easier for everyone

if we're all in one place.


Don't make it into a thing.

Yeah, well, there is one thing.

Invitation says 11:00.

The twins are still napping then.


So we'll wake them up.

We've worked really hard
to get them on a schedule.

Okay, fine, so we'll
push the brunch to 1:00.

Now it's a lunch.




I got a response from my fake e-mail.

"No thank you to renewing advertisement,

I have everything what is necessary."

"Everything what is necessary"?

Jane! Sorry to interrupt.

Uh, we're gonna have to
bump the brunch to 1:00.

I forgot the twins nap at 11:00.

- What?
- Nothing.

They just changed their schedule.

Anyway, is that all right?

Yes, of course. No problem.

I know, Abuela, I'm sorry,

but she got the nap
times wrong, I guess.

Come on, you know Petra's
not a hands-on mom,

give her a break please.

Can you get someone to cover your shift?

That is sounding important.

If you wanting to talk,

I can do everything what is necessary

to cover your tables.

Did she just say...

I have to call you back.

Excuse me?

I say,

I can do everything what is
necessary for your tables.

And that's when Jane realized

what she should have
realized much earlier,

given her great love of telenovelas,

it's always the twin.

- Petra?
- Oh, hey, perfect timing.

Here's our caterer's

proposed menu for our lunch.

Any allergies?


Wow! Four courses.

I'm assuming

each course lasts three minutes

and has lots of Cheerios

or Mateo's not gonna make it.

I didn't realize I had to prepare

something special for Mateo.

No, I'm kidding. I'm...

I'm-I'm just saying that he can't

sit through four courses.

Well, my nannies will be
there if he gets fussy.

Oh, I mean, well,

it is Mother's Day, so I
do want to be with him.

I wasn't suggesting you
don't want to be with him.

Okay, we're getting off
track. That is great.

Um... I actually

wanted to talk about Anezka.

I've showed her how to use deodorant.

No, it-it's not that. It's, um...

And so, Jane told Petra

about... well, you know.

Let's FF through.

But why would she do that?

I have no idea.

But in order to get my TA job back,

I have to prove who it was,

and I really think it was your sister.

Let me talk to her.

I need to talk to you.

I wasn't going to mention it,

but holding in my emotions

is causing me to eat my feelings.

And I think we can both agree

that will be a disaster for the ratings.

What is it?

I know you're having a birthday party.

And I was not invited.


The truth is I don't think you'd

get along with my other friends.

They're more like, you
know, regular people.

Some of my closest
friends are non-celebs.

Stedman, for example.

It's just you're interested
in different things.

You like to talk about the Kardashians.

There more interested in

Ta-Nehisi Coates.

I assure you I'm open

to all kinds of jackets.

He's not a jacket.

He's an author.

I... know.

I was just

making a joke.

Come on, Dina.

I can totally hang with nerds.

I spent a good part
of the summer of 1998

hanging with Moby.


Let me come.


And I promise I will show your friends

my intellectual side.

Jane, I need you to give
me an intellectual side.

So, you want to do a
whole Pygmalion thing?

What? No, no, no.

Like a My Fair Lady thing.

See, Dina is seeing me
only as a sex object.

And I have to prove to her
that I am more than just

oceans of charisma.

I refuse to be objectified.

Make it a little tighter, please.

Don't you want to be with somebody

who respects you for who you are?

Yes, of course!

I just want to present her

with a smarter alternative.

Please, Jane.

Watch the pin!

Okay, Dad, whatever you need.

Ready to shoot?

Jane, I'm sorry.

There's an emergency at work.

I'm gonna have to call you back.

Dad wants to seem smarter,

I guess, for Dina.


He must like her a lot.


Are you okay with all of this?

I'm fine.

You should support your dad.

Don't laugh, don't laugh.

Hey, my eyes are up here.
Look me in the eyes.

Oh, I can't. It's just so white!

Oh, oh... Oh, mm, okay.

I'm okay.


How was your first day?

It was great.

Well, now you look me in the eye.

Okay, well, maybe it wasn't as exciting

as fighting international crime lords.

But I did give a warning

to a guy who was about
to take four donuts

from craft service, so...

- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm, how about you?

Did you solve the case of
the classified catfisher?

I am a former detective.

I can help you track down the perp.

- Perp's been tracked.
- Who is it?

Finally, there you are.

Did you have anything

to do with this ad?

Oh, yes, I did do.

You are so very welcome.


Anezka, what were you thinking?

Oh, you hint for me to do it.

Because Rafael was
thinking Jane too perfect.

No, I didn't hint.

Oh, no.

I am so stupid then.

Jane is my friend.

Oh, well, no, she not
be such good friend.

She's saying you aren't good mother.

Oh... forget it.

I-I causing trouble enough.



What did Jane say?

So, let's review from the top.

The three main topics

of intellectual party conversation are?

Current events,

literature, culture.

- Kardashians?
- Mm.

Off limits.


But there's so much to discuss!

Kourtney's going
through hell with Scott!

- The...
- Dad.

Okay, so we've covered The Goldfinch,

the election... Last handout.

If they're talking
museums, bust out this info

on Marina Abramovic.

Very current, super pretentious.

She just stares at people
for hours at a time?

- Mm-hmm.
- That's not art.

That's just bad manners.


That's a legitimate critique!

And remember, if you feel like

you're in over your head,

just excuse yourself to go to

the bathroom or get a drink.

Return to a new group and start over.

- Thank you, Jane.
- Mm-hmm.

I will learn my lines,

and give a Paloma-worthy performance.

I'm sure you will.


So, is Michael liking the new job?

So fun, right?

Oh, yeah, so fun.

Is he not having an excellent time?

He's really grateful to you for the job.

And I'm grateful

that you gave me this job. I really am.

But I've got to resign.

Wait, what?


I've decided to go into
the hotel business myself.

In fact...

you're gonna give me the Fairwick.

Wait, is this some kind of joke?

You know what's a joke?

You pretending to be some
great long-lost big brother

while at the same time,

you were working with
the police to spy on me.

I had to know if you were
working with our mother.

Okay, and I, and I
understand if you're angry...

You understand nothing.

So let me spell it out for you.

You sell me the Fairwick for a dollar,

or I turn you into the Feds

for insider trading.

Wait, what?

My buddy gave you a tip.

You acted on it.


I thought you'd wait longer

to spend the money you made, but, man,

you used it quick.

You set me up.

This place is really gonna
be something special.


He took a long nap, so he might be fussy

- when you put him down.
- Got it.

You okay?

Well, he's being blackmailed

by his brother, so that's a no.


Yeah, just...

an unexpected hurdle with
the Fairwick acquisition.


Well, whatever it is,

I'm sure you'll figure it out.

And speaking of figuring things out,

Michael was adapting
to his new life on set.








I can't wait to cut that line in post.



- Cut!
- Cut!

Did you see that?

Fake fighting is a carefully

choreographed dance.

To adlib a gesture like that

is to put us both in actual danger.

No kidding.

Plus if you wanted to disarm someone

believably, you'd go for the wrist.


No, I'm just saying technically,

if you wanted to be accurate...

Come with me.

And in that moment, Rogelio realized

he could kill two birds with one stone.

Esteben, approach!

Michael happens to be
an expert in combat,

And he will now demonstrate
how to disarm someone.

This guy?

Hit me with your best shot, pretty boy.

Bird one... Build Michael up.

Bird two... torture Esteben.

Bravo! Bravo!

I'm promoting you to personal
bodyguard/technical advisor.

From here on out, I want you
to monitor all our fights

for authenticity.

And I looked it up online,

and technical advisors make good money.

And it's actually really fun.

I'm so happy you're excited.

Yeah, I really am.


Time to become an expert

in 15th century combat.

And so Michael researched.



And Wiki-ed.



And googled.

Until he was exhausted.

But satisfied.


How's it going? I think I'm starting
to get a handle on it, my lady.

Oh, good, it's Petra.

Hopefully she got her sister to confess.

Hey, Petra.

Did you say I'm a bad mother?

Excuse me?

Apparently you called your
grandmother to complain

about how I didn't know
my children's nap times

- because I'm not a good mom.
- Oh, dear.

No, I didn't use those words.

Well, what words did you use?

Well, look, you're
taking it out of context.

I was actually defending
you to my grandmother.

So, she was calling me a bad mom?

No! No!

She was just annoyed
because she had to change

her work schedule and
that's not easy for her.

What are you implying?

- Nothing.
- I know all about

hard work, Jane... I have a job.

Yeah, well, I did, too, until
your sister got me fired!

And maybe it was the heat of the moment

or the fact that Petra finally

had a little family
of her own to protect,

but she said...

You know what, Jane?

My sister said she didn't place that ad,

and I believe her, so lay off.

Observe Jane steaming

milk at the cappuccino machine.

You can please Anezka extra
milk for cappuccino order?

Oh, so foam is all what is necessary

for your cappuccino?

I am not understanding...

Oh, I think you are understanding.

So stop with this whole innocent thing!

I am being innocent.

No you aren't. You're a liar!

And I don't know how, but trust me,

I'm gonna prove it!

And she just started

crying like I'm some sort of...

Ogre! Screaming!

She being cruel and so...


But I'm onto her.

Acting like an innocent child.

It felt like spank hour at orphanage.


No, we're taking the high road here.

If she's not canceling,
I'm not canceling.

B-But just...

maybe give Jane some space.

But Anezka better stay away from me.

Otherwise, it's on!

En garde!





Uh... is there a problem?

Well, it's just that,
traditionally, you wouldn't lock

the longswords like that,
because you'd often have

a dagger as well, in your other hand.

So when the longswords are locked,

your opponent could,
like, stab you dead.

With the dagger.

That's wonderful.

Thank you, Technical Advisor.

Let's do it again without
locking the swords.

But that is the most
compelling part of the scene.

It's not about the swords,

it's about my eyes.

Historical accuracy is
also semi-important.

We ready here?

Settle and... action!


Just the, uh, the lunge...

the lunge felt a little...

Can you excuse us for one second?


The work you're doing is wonderful.

But you cannot yell "cut"
while we're shooting.

Only the director

and the star can do that.

Right. I just got excited.

I understand.

So how do I communicate to you

if you guys are way off

and it's not believable...

Well, that's the thing.

You see, it's a telenovela.

So things don't have to
be completely believable.

That's an understatement.


Oh, my God.

What's the holdup here?

Oh, I'm sorry. Yes.

I have to shoot this,

so I can get out by dinner.



And it's already five minutes past

one little boy's bedtime,

isn't it, Mr. Sweetface, isn't it?

Oh, yes.




Okay, let's say good night to Abuela.




What's going on over there?

I-It's Dad.

He wants me to coach him
through this party, in person.

I'm-I'm just gonna say no.

Stop. Go.

No, Mom. I feel weird.

Because of me?

Don't. Honestly.

Actually, knowing that
he and Dina are both out

makes it easier for me to go
record my track at the studio.

No chance of running into them.

Go, hon.


Which brings us here, now...

Jane, you made it!


meet my brilliant daughter, Jane!

You invited your daughter?

- Here, ha-have a seat, Jane.
- No, wait!

Sit next to me. I need you close.

- Why?
- It's okay.

I'll sit here.

Okay, well...

there is perfect.

Just wanted to make sure

you were comfortable.

My daughter is a brilliant student.

- _
- She's in graduate school.

My son's at Oxford.

Oh. England. Great...

- _
- and important country.

Shakespeare and...

How do you know Dina?

- _
We were actually

in debate together in college.

Oh, I dabble myself in debate, as well.

- _
- I once played a great debater on Tiago.

I owned the Senate floor!

Wow! He's fast with his fingers!

♪ La mujer de amor ♪

♪ Es un secreto en la noche ♪

♪ La mujer de mi ♪

♪ Alma... ♪

Let me try again.

Oh, sorry, man.

We're running a little behind.

Do you want to come
back in 20 for your ADR?

I'll wait.

♪ La mujer de mi ♪

♪ Alma... ♪

I'm sorry.

You're just too in your head.

Don't just sing it.


Feel it.

Seduce the microphone.

I'm not with Rogelio anymore,

so flirting with me
isn't gonna hurt him.


You know what else
works to get the note?

You can use the ground to stabilize.


Lie down. Seriously.

You take all the support of the earth

and then you sing up instead of out.

Shakira taught me.

I mean, I'll try.

You're going to feel silly at first.

But just put that aside, okay?


♪ La mujer de mi ♪

♪ Alma! ♪




You're a good coach.

And speaking of coaches...

Thanks to Jane,

Rogelio had successfully

navigated culture and politics.

It's a clear perversion
of the 14th Amendment.

Not at all what our founding
fathers meant, you know?

- Exactly.
- Even science.

I don't think we can fully comprehend

the profound impact of
the Higgs boson particle.


In fact, his
knowledge was on fleek, until...

Free trade with Cuba is essential.

Just look at the great success

of the Nazi alliance.


Well, until Jane failed to see

her phone's misguided autocorrect.

Um, excuse me?

The "great success"?

No, no!

No. That wasn't a great success.

No. What I meant was...



Oh, j-just that the,

you know, the Nazi alliance...

Jane? What... what do I mean?


The NATO alliance.

So, what? You brought your daughter out

- to do some Cyrano thing?
- No.

It was like...

Have you seen the movie Roxanne?

It's just...

well, you know...

I wanted to impress your smart friends.

Because I like you, Dina.

That's why I'm wearing

these ridiculous glasses

and talking about silly things
like literature or science.

Well, the whole thing... it was stupid.

I know. I agree.

But also...


kind of sweet.




Oh, hey.

I-I was just texting
you. Looks like you have

the situation under control,
so I was gonna head home.

What's wrong?

Nothing, I just...


Well... earlier, I felt
weird helping you with Dina

because I thought it would upset Mom.

And I didn't want you to think
that I was picking sides, so...

- Was your mother upset?
- No.

No. She's... she's okay.

That's the point.

I realized, watching you,

it's not about Mom.

It's about me.

It's that fairytale, right?

Your divorced parents
meet, fall back in love...

Of course.

That's what makes The Parent
Trap such an evocative film.


And don't get me wrong,

I want you to be happy,

and Dina's great.

I just think I need a little more time

before I can be your wingman.

I understand.

Thank you for your help.

I know you're always on my side.

And speaking of taking sides...



I just want things calm and peaceful.

This is a happy occasion.

Happy and awkward.

No. Not awkward.

We will make it not awkward.

How is it not being awkward?
Jane is hating both of us.

Just smile, Anezka.

Even if it's fake.

Like this.

Happy Mother's Day!

I adjusted things a little.

Buffet style.

Oh. Thank you.

And here.

Yeah, there's no way

- this isn't awkward.
- Oh.

Assorted colors. How fun.

So, anyone care for a drink?

Yes. Yes. Okay. Thank you.

- Sí, sí, sí.
- Me, too!

In fact, I have an idea.

Every time something awkward
happens at this brunch,

let's take a sip of our mimosas.

Kids, you have orange juice.

Let's start with an easy one.


Which his brother is now
blackmailing him for.

Thanks. It's, uh...

Unexpectedly awkward. Drink!

So, how are things with Dina?


This feel a little weird to you?

Wait until Father's Day.


Breathe, Jane. Breathe!

But the rest of you, drink!

Oh, these two are in a
relatively good place.

Maybe we can take a water break.

Ah! Enjoying the most
awkward brunch ever?

Is your brother coming?

Agh! Drink!

I don't think so, no.


What's going on?

I don't know if I
should tell you or not.

You should. Definitely.

I made a bad decision.

And now my brother is blackmailing me.

What? How?

I made money off an illegal stock tip.

I didn't know it was illegal.

Derek set me up.

And now he's using it
to extort money from me.

Specifically, the Fairwick.

But if you didn't know,
then it's not your fault.

I didn't know.

But then, after I knew,

I used it to buy the Fairwick.

I know.

I screwed up.

I thought I was taking
care of my family.

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

I'm going to to give him a bottle.

It'll be okay.

I knew it.

I knew Derek was shady.

Weird sense of humor, Mateo.

Michael, you can't say anything.

He told me in confidence.

But the police need to know,

because it could help
our investigation...

Their investigation.

Just... try to see if you can get him

to come forward. If you can.

Your father's calling everyone.

I made a little something

in honor of

my daughter's first official

Mother's Day.

What made Jane a great mother?

What makes Jane a great mom?

So many things?

Oh, wow.

Okay, I can't cry right away, right?

The way she always puts family first.



She's got your back,

and she pushes you to be the
best version of yourself.

Jane always sees

the good in people.

The world she lives in,

that's the world I want to live in.

She's generous.



I'm in awe of how she tackles

every problem head-on.

It's inspiring.


She's fair.

Jane's a peace-maker.

Always on everyone's side.

She's like Switzerland.

I learned all about
Switzerland in my cram session.

Generous. Thoughtful.






So many lists.

Like, a lot of lists.

What? There's a lot to organize.

But really it's...

it's how much she loves.



I know it sounds cheesy,

but... love.

And superb genes.

So happy first Mother's Day.


My daughter.




Thanks, Dad.

Here we go again.


It's her Mother's Day too, right?

Excuse me.

I drank a little too much.

I am also wanting to say something

about what a wonderful mother
I am thinking you are, Petra.

This life...

This life

that you have earned for your daughters

after coming from nothing.

And I am just thinking

it is so beautiful

what you have done for them.

And I know how hard it has been.

Well, that was

legitimately sweet.

And while we're sharing about our moms,

can I just say I have the greatest,

most supportive, bestest mother ever.

Love you, Mama. So much.

Right, well, I think I got to lay down.

Thank you for having us.

And that was a very nice speech.

I'm glad it worked out.

Us together

is everything what I want.

Okay, listen, you said it again.


I know you placed that ad,

and, look, you may have a good reason.

If you could just come clean...

Jane, stop.

You're beating a dead horse.

I can't stop because
your sister is a liar,

and you are too close to see it.

You just blindly follow
what she says like a sheep.

Are you saying my sister's a bad person

and I'm just too close to her to see it?

- I never said that.
- You might as well have.

Okay, enough, someone take
that toy away from him.

Excuse me?

I host your entire family here
for lunch, and all you can do

is to continue to hurl
insults at my sister.

No, please.

No fighting because of Anezka.

I'm insulting your sister
because she's a liar!

Please no!

- She's not!
- She is!

She's not!


I am so sorry about your sister.


What's going on? What did I miss?

Where are we? Oh, wow.

The room is spinning.

I obviously never, ever meant

for anything like this to happen.

Is Anezka dead?

It's okay. She's fine.



So why are we at the hospital?

She's epileptic,

so seizures will happen sometimes.

Under extreme stress.

Well, I'm sorry I caused it.

I just... I really thought she did it.

And she said she didn't.

And as you can see,

she's an emotionally fragile person,

which is why I didn't push her.

I get it.

Again, I'm so sorry.

She'll be okay.

Just keep stress levels down.

Lots of fluids, lots of rest.

Thank you so much.

I am feeling terrible

for ruining special lunch.

As long as you're okay.

No, I'm not being okay.

I cause everybody so much fighting.

So, you don't have to lie
for me anymore, Petra.


Yes, I am the one that post ad.

And Petra, just being good sister,

took cover for me.

- You were lying this whole time?
- No.

It's okay now, Petra, I come clean.

I want an e-mail explaining what you did

so I can try and salvage my job.

Yes, of course.

And I have nothing to say to you.

I was so naive

to think that she'd changed.

That we would be one big happy family.

You know what?

Let's stop talking about the evil twins.

And start watching the evil twins.


And Mateo can play with his new toys.

Yeah, buddy.


While we...

get cozy with the remote.



And I'll order ice cream.

- Ooh.
- At long last,

pj's, pints...

and telenovelas.

Which brings us here, of course.

Look, I'm...

I'm sorry I came on so strong
with the Tech Advisor thing.

I guess I just got carried away.

Well, your attention to detail,

that's what made you such
a terrific detective.

Whereas in telenovelas,

it's more the general idea.

Yeah, I get that.

You will be a detective again, Michael.

I believe in you.

And friends,

that's when it happened.

And... action!

In a moment that was...

well, straight out of
a telenovela, frankly.










This is Suzanna Barnett at the Miami PD,

please leave a message.

I need to talk to you.

Turns out Derek Ruvelle

is totally dirty and I've got proof.

I know the GPS on his boat
corroborated his alibi,

but I don't think he
was ever on that boat.

Call me back. Please.

Help me finish this case.

Next time, wait for my
guests to finish their food

before you dive in.

- Yes, Ms. Petra.
- Of course.

Leaping lizards! It's Anezka.

This is exactly what happened
in Lagrimas de tu Corazon.

And it really didn't end well.

And then I forwarded the confession,

but Blake is just digging in.

I am officially out of
a TA job next semester.

I'm sorry, honey.

I know.

Did you see Dad's Instagram feed?

- _
- Yeah.

It's okay, hun.


He had to move on.

Can I just say how proud I am of you

for how you've handled this?

I mean,

the old you would've acted out.

I'm trying to change.

Let's talk later, hun.

Okay, bye.


Who's better?

Me or Rogelio?

Be honest.

Look, I made a huge mistake.

How huge was it exactly?

The most huge

or second hugest?

Sorry, I shouldn't joke.

This is serious stuff.

So Derek's blackmailing you?

I overheard Jane telling
Michael at the lunch.

What were you thinking?

I wasn't.

I was drunk when I bought the stock.

No, not that.

Going to Jane for advice.

Go to Jane for help looking for...

a new book club selection,

or finding a deal on diapers.

When it comes to financial crimes,

and blackmail,

come to me.

Buy a few days with Derek,

while we come up with a plan.

We can outsmart him.

And, perhaps,

they could outsmart him.

Darling, enough already with
those ridiculous scarves.

Her, on the other hand,

slightly more difficult.

So, everything's moving forward.

We'll have the Fairwick
by the end of the week.

Happy Mother's Day.

Now that's a boat.