Jane the Virgin (2014–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Chapter Twenty-Four - full transcript

Jane receives Mateo back, but must face the brewing love triangle between her, Michael and Rafael. Xo and Rogelio must perform on a cruise ship as part of contract agreements. Lachlan ...

Latin lover narrator: All right, where were we?
Oh, yes. Jane and rafael's new baby
Was kidnapped by the evil sin rostro,
Also known as rafael's stepmother rose.
And she was operating a secret plastic surgery ring
Redoing criminal's faces.
But thanks to michael's heroics...
I know who has mateo, and I know how to get him back.
Latin lover narrator: ...They got mateo back, oh, my god.
And everybody was super grateful.
Also grateful?
Petra, because the fertility clinic
Discovered one last sample of rafael's sperm.
And thanks to some wise words
From rafael's sister luisa...
That should have been your baby!
...A few too many drinks
And a willing turkey baster...
Well, you get the idea.
But she didn't get off scot-free.
I just wanted to discuss the fact
That you stole mr. Solano's sperm.
And let's not forget
Rogelio and xiomara. Xiomara: I totally do!
(slurred): I totally do, too! Remember, they're still married
From their drunken vegas wedding.
But they're planning to get that annulled.
And, of course, jane has a big decision to make.
Who does she love?
Michael or rafael?
Okay, okay, enough guessing.
Let's do this thing!
When jane villanueva began dating michael cordero jr.
She tried to take an interest
In the things that interested him.
The books he liked to read...
Mind blowing, right?
(explosions, sirens wailing) the movies he liked to watch...
How crazy is this?
So crazy.
And the places he liked to go...
(insects buzzing)
...Which brings us here,
To a campground in central florida.
In the hundred-degree heat. 104, actually.
My mistake. Wow, they said that's some kind of record high.
Okay. Uh-huh?
I'm done.
To make up for the heat... (insects buzzing)
And the bugs... Uh-huh?
And the rash you got from the bug spray...
I have whittled you a giraffe.
Thank you.
That is so... Random.
I know. (giggles)
But it's the closest to what the stick looked like,
It's sweet.
You're so sweet.
And I'm fine...
(insects buzzing)
Actually, no, I'm not!
I'm not, ah... I can't do this.
What? I hate camping.
And I know you love it, so I wanted to try it,
But you should know this:
It's never happening again.
And I hope that's not a deal breaker.
No, it's not.
Actually can't think of any deal breakers, here,
To be honest.
Wow. What?
God... I'm sorry.
You got the stank. Like... What?
My eyes are watering. That's how bad... No!
No, you said no deal breakers. No. No!
Latin lover narrator: To be honest,
It was the grossest jane had ever been...
Until now.
Maybe Wednesday?
No, because that's when the new neighbors
Started with their band practice,
So she was up all night and slept all day.
Sunday? No.
Xiomara: I'm telling you.
That was her last shower.
So that's, like, a full seven days.
(clears throat)
It's daddy time! Hi, mateo.
And you need some mommy time.
Why don't you hop in the shower?
Oh, yeah, but I was gonna clean up
A little bit first.
Let's just take that off.
Oh, a nice hot shower? I'm so jealous.
Yeah, go on, get in there. Okay, then.
Guess I'll take a shower. Might as well.
Hey, just checking in.
Coffee for... Me! For me.
Uh, michael, jane is about
To jump in the shower.
Great. Coffee for rogelio.
Jane, enjoy your shower.
You know what? I'm exhausted.
I'm just gonna take a nap instead.
Oh! That's a good burpie.
With just a little spit up. Yeah.
Okay, hon.
Time for a reality check. First off,
You are really kicking ass as a new mom.
Yeah, I feel like I finally...
Finally got a little routine down.
You definitely do.
And on that note...
I think it's time to pop the new baby bubble.
What do you mean?
Take a shower. Run a comb through your hair.
Maybe even leave the house.
With mateo? Oh, no, no.
I-I'm not ready for that.
Why not? What if he gets hungry?
Your boobs come with you.
Yeah, well, he's been fussy lately.
You'll soothe him, honey. Or-or change him.
Maybe just do something simple.
Go to lunch. Have one of your boyfriends take you.
Okay, stop with that.
I can't. It's like an episode
Of the bachelorette out there.
It's not like that.
You know, with what happened...
...We're all in a different place.
Latin lover narrator: Which, for the record, was true.
At first.
Hey! Hey!
Hey. Hey.
Regardless, romance is the last thing
On anyone's mind.
Anyone want to take jane out to lunch?
I'll... I'll drive. Yeah. Let's do it.
Okay, great.
We'll all go to lunch, then.
Acupuncturist: And... Relax.
Deep breath in...
And out...
Good. Now, lie still
And let the needles work their fertility magic.
I'll be back in 30 minutes.
(door opens)
Scott: Petra.
I can't move my face, scott,
So you can't see how aggravated I am with your timing.
Yeah, well, you see my face?
I'm aggravated, too.
You're stalling.
(scoffs) I'm not stalling.
Latin lover narrator: She was definitely stalling.
I'm laying the groundwork.
It's not every day I recommend his assistant
Become the manager of the lounge.
Executive assistant.
Oh. Well, that's a position I can get you...
That's what I am!
You have until the end of the day,
Or I'm gonna tell rafael that you stole his sperm.
Have him sign
My new contract.
(gasps in pain)
Of course I didn't read the contract.
Who reads contracts? That's what I have lawyers for.
At least I did, anyway.
You're fired.
No, you go to the meeting at 2:00!
Okay, what's going on?
We're being sued by the producers of our vegas show
For half a million dollars.
What? They said we violated our contract
By skipping the show for matelio's birth.
So, in punishment, they would like us to perform
On one of their... Cruise ships.
Cruise ships is where old people perform.
I mean, who am I?
Who is a dear friend, by the way.
I would lay down my life for her.
But I don't want her career.
How many shows would we have to do?
I don't know. I hung up on my former lawyers.
Okay, I guess we'll find out at the meeting.
Until our annulment on Monday,
I am still your wife.
You get sued, I get sued.
And I am not getting sued.
Latin lover narrator: Meanwhile...
On the most dramatic two-on-one date ever!
Okay. So far, so good.
We're out of the house.
Well, maybe not the most dramatic.
Everything okay? Yet...
Yeah. The table's just, like, a little wobbly.
Oh, I can take care of that. Oh, I can take care of that. Here.
Got it! Oh!
(clears throat)
I'm-I'm fine.
Look, jane, there's a four-"cheese"
Grilled cheese here.
Actually, cheese has been giving the baby gas,
So jane's off it until she's done nursing.
That's why "cheese" was in quotes. It's soy cheese.
You know what? I'm in the mood
For a turkey burger, actually.
(mateo fussing)
Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?
Diaper change? I think he's due for one.
Yep. I'll take him. Okay.
Such a good boy.
You know mommy needed to escape.
I mean, you dove under the table.
This is my family, okay?
What are you even doing here?
I wouldn't be here if jane didn't want me here.
Yes, mr. Sweetface.
Oh, mwah! We did it.
Yes, we did.
Our first public
Diaper change.
Great. So now that you're out of your bubble, let's talk. Uh...
It is crazy tense out there
And you need to make a decision.
I can help. Who are you?
Who do you think I am?
My... Guardian angel?
(laughing): No.
Oh, that's lame.
I'm bachelorette jane.
So? Which guy are you leaning towards?
I don't know.
I haven't been thinking like that.
Well, it's time to.
'cause that situation
Is a powder keg.
(both gasp)
Latin lover narrator: Oh, my god...
Is that... Rose?
Oh... Oof...
Michael: You okay?
What's wrong? I saw a woman
That looked a little like rose.
First time out of the house, it's bound to happen.
This city is lousy with tall pale redheads.
I didn't mention it
Because it doesn't change anything.
She's not coming back here.
She got what she wanted. Okay, now you're scaring me.
Yeah, what's going on? There's a possibility
That rose has had plastic surgery.
A lot of it.
So she could look like anyone, really.
Latin lover narrator: I told you the two-on-one got dramatic.
How was it?
Latin lover narrator: Just rose-y...
Just... Awkward.
Did mateo melt down?
Rafael and michael did.
Team michael.
Print the t-shirts, make the mugs...
There are no teams in this family.
Did you ever talk to the neighbors
About their band practice?
I wanted to throw a rock through the window.
Thank you.
Ooh, okay.
Narrator: She's back.
You're on a deserted island
With nothing but a blanket, a packed lunch and a gazebo.
There's only one guy there.
Who is it?
I have no idea.
I just took a shower.
Okay, different scenario.
You're hiking on a fjord.
Who do you take into the ice hotel?
Trust falls with...
Michael. Bali with...
Rafael. Rappel down a building with...
Neither. (electric guitar roars)
Oh, my god, the neighbors.
(mateo fusses)
I'll go over there and talk to them with mateo, right?
Nobody can resist mr. Sweetface.
Latin lover narrator: Except, apparently,
20-something wannabe rock stars.
It's a lady with a kid.
Jane, actually.
(chuckling): Hi.
And this is mateo.
Yes, hi.
So anyway, listen,
Um, so excited to have you guys in the neighborhood.
Love your sound.
I was just wondering if maybe you...
Could not start practice at 10:00 p.M.
Noise ordinance says we can play till 11:00.
That's why my dad rented for us here.
Oh. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, no, I get it.
You know, uh... But it's just...
It's something about the acoustics,
It sounds like you're right inside my house.
So weird, that's what it sounds like for us
At 6:00 in the morning when that starts howling.
Excuse me?
Noise-canceling headphones help.
Entitled breeders.
Petra: Are you kidding me?
We have to outbid the carton group. 12 million?
When we have no idea what they're bidding?
Luisa: Uh, quick clarification.
This is the bid for the charity auction?
No, this is the bid for the neighboring property.
Oh, my... That makes more sense.
I was like, "who wants to go to a marlins game so bad?"
Latin lover narrator: Ah, yes. Luisa.
She decided to learn the family business,
Get her life back on track.
And why do we want that property again?
Because if somebody else buys the land,
Then they can block our views.
Latin lover narrator: Oy...
Is all I have to say to that.
Oh, by the way, um, I was thinking about promoting scott,
Just giving him a shot at managing the lounge.
Scott, my assistant?
Executive assistant.
I see something in him.
He's smart, knows a lot...
Latin lover narrator: About your sperm.
..And, uh, he's getting other offers.
I don't want to lose him.
Okay, just send me his résumé.
Latin lover narrator: Wait, who is that?
I-I've seen him before.
(woman speaks in german)
Oh, no.
(knocking on door)
Jane: (gasps) oh, good.
My noise-canceling headphones.
Just sign here.
Great. Now give me your baby.
(knocking on door)
Hey. Hi.
You seemed a little freaked out after the whole rose thing,
So I thought maybe a security system would help.
Thank you.
Are there lasers and stuff?
Um... No lasers.
But there are a few menacing stickers for your window.
Is this a good time to install it?
Yeah, of course-- I was just gonna feed mateo.
Oh, yeah, do your thing.
All right.
(cell phone chimes)
(whispering): Michael.
(louder): Michael.
(groans) uh-huh.
I heard a noise outside.
I saw a shadow like a bear.
A bear. Mm-hmm.
Oh, my god. What?!
It's a guy walking to his car.
(car door shuts)
But I'll sleep better knowing
You're on guard with the giraffe.
Four more hours.
You can do this.
Go to sleep.
I can't sleep.
I'm worried there could be a deal breaker.
Because you're a cop.
And you're a criminal mastermind?
My grandmother is undocumented.
That's why she's quiet around you.
Police make her nervous,
And... I'm just worried it's a problem ethically.
Is she a criminal mastermind?
Then no.
Still no deal breakers.
Bachelorette jane: Blah, blah, blah.
History, memory, he's been there, I get it.
But how does he fit into your life now, with mr. Sweetface?
I mean, that's what you have to figure out.
Latin lover narrator: Never was there sounder advice...
From a tipsy hallucination.
Okay, you have to support his head.
Okay, I know, I've been around babies.
You have?
Yeah, the summer before my parents got divorced.
Oh, hello.
Hi, mateo.
Wait, that time you were with your aunt and uncle fly-fishing?
Well, I was partly there for the fly-fishing
And partly to take care of their new baby.
You didn't tell me that.
Well, fly-fishing seemed cooler than babysitting.
(chuckles) and we didn't really do
A whole lot of baby talk before, you know?
No, we didn't.
Maybe we should.
But, I mean, like, are you ready?
Because you weren't when I was pregnant.
Okay, come on, I...
It was pretty shocking.
We were engaged, it wasn't mine.
I know.
But it's not some theoretical baby anymore.
It's mateo.
So, yeah... I'm in.
I'm in.
Can I come in?
Uh, don't tell me, don't tell me.
We've met several times. Sorry.
Might have been drunk, but I'm not drunk now,
So you are locked in, mr. Lachlan.
What do you want?
Latin lover narrator: Now, luisa may not remember lachlan, but I sure do.
Let's take a quick trip down memory lane, shall we?
You see, first rafael stole petra from lachlan,
Then lachlan tried to screw over rafael,
But instead petra and rafael screwed over lachlan,
Then lachlan and petra just plain screwed,
Then lachlan screwed over petra,
And then petra and rafael screwed over lachlan.
There, now you're all caught up.
I know about the neighboring property,
And that it's a short sale,
And you don't have time for a geological report.
But... I have a friend on the inside.
Why should we trust you?
You shouldn't.
In exchange, I want out of my contract
And a $500,000 bonus.
You are all set.
Thank you so much.
No worries.
Latin lover narrator: It snowed on them once before, you'll recall.
You should probably go.
Oh, my god, it's over.
Give him the rose.
He's so sweet and sexy and handy
And here for the right reasons,
And why are you just standing there?
Because I haven't had my one-on-one with rafael yet.
What am I saying?
No, you're right.
We can't get ahead of ourselves.
Oh, but he's everything.
He's the one, right?
That one? I'm not wearing that one.
(fog horn blaring)
Sorry, I missed what you said.
I said you're wearing the sailor suit.
Where would we perform?
You're looking at it.
So you would remove the buffet when we perform?
No, you perform during the buffet.
It's dinner theater-- they eat, you sing.
I cannot believe what I'm hearing. Rogelio, calm down.
I will not calm down, xiomara, because nobody eats
When rogelio de la vega sings.
They open their mouth in awe.
They scream, they cheer.
But nobody eats. I have heard enough.
I refuse to spend one more minute on this ship.
No... Oh, my god...
(horn blares)
I can't believe it-- who accidentally goes to cuba?
Rogelio thought the lawyer said the meeting
Was on the ship at 2:00.
Turns out, we had to be
Off the ship before 2:00.
Ugh. (rock music begins)
¶ this is your neighborhood lullaby ¶
Oh, my god. Is that...?
(mateo cries) ugh...
¶ this is the part that's gonna make you cry ¶
It's okay, it's okay.
They just pointed a big red amp right at my window.
What?! Yeah.
First, you go over there and you...
So... They will not turn around the ship,
Unless there's an emergency.
And apparently, being on the ship
Does not constitute as an emergency.
Oh, my god, enough.
Stop being such a baby.
Singing on a cruise ship may be beneath you,
But, frankly, it is a cool opportunity for me,
And you are ruining it.
Latin lover narrator: Uh-oh. I mean, lachlan's numbers make sense.
If this came from anyone else, I'd be thrilled, but...
(cell phone chimes)
Need to make a call?
No, I can do it after,
Because, obviously, I'm in a meeting.
Uh, please continue.
Well, just the idea of betting our future on lachlan...
I know, it's-- (phone chimes)
What's going on?
Nothing. Nothing.
Please, petra, uh, continue.
Pregnant? Are you serious?
Luisa was her gynecologist.
Not a great gynecologist, granted.
But, still, all the signs are there.
She's stopped eating soft cheeses.
She's not drinking alcohol.
She's doing her acupuncture thing again.
Oh, my god.
If she is, this could be the answer to our prayers.
(sighs) I mean, she'll focus on the baby, not you.
Oh, my god, who do you think the father is?
No idea, but I feel sorry for that poor sucker.
Latin lover narrator: Yeah, me, too.
Oh, grab it?
Enough with the small talk, jane.
(clears her throat) so, eh,
Seeing that my mom's away and she's my night nurse,
I thought mateo and I can spend the night at your place.
An overnight! (laughs)
Really? Just the three of us?
Sorry, yes.
Can you pick up mateo real quick?
Sure. Yeah.
Latin lover narrator: Ooh, I think she's getting a rose.
An amp.
The neighbors don't respond to nice.
So, should I bring something tonight?
Uh... Nothing, no.
I-I'll take care of everything.
What's happening?
Which brings us here, now to the...
Fantasy suite?!
Ah, I bet he goes all out.
Like, a room full of roses
And champagne fountains
And candles everywhere and...
(gasps) oh, my god.
Even better.
You got the swing.
Oh, and the tummy time mat.
Rafael: And here is a changing station.
There's one in the nursery, of course.
Just to make it easier.
Oh, and this is a glider
With a coffee table for your water,
Because I know that nursing makes you thirsty.
Oh! Oh, I ordered some food.
So I'll just be right back.
Sit down, please.
Oh, oh, my god! I'm freaking out a little.
Plus, I drank too much, but we have to stay focused
On why we're here.
What does he want really?
How does he see his life?
What's an ordinary Thursday?
(mateo crying) oh, mateo!
Oh, it's okay.
Rogelio: Fine, I was a baby.
I get it. You're too good for this.
That's not why.
As I... Near 40,
Part of myself worries
That I could one day find myself
Here permanently.
Like my over-the-hill friend charo,
For whom I would walk over hot coals.
¶ baby, when I met you there was peace unknown ¶
¶ I set out to get you with a fine-tooth comb ¶
¶ I was soft inside ¶
¶ there was something going on ¶
¶ islands in the stream that is what we are... ¶
Latin lover narrator: Can these two harmonize or what?
Sadly, no one was paying any attention.
Until they unveiled the chocolate fountain.
¶ and we rely on each other, uh-huh ¶
¶ islands in the stream ¶
¶ that is what we are ¶
¶ no one in-between ¶
¶ how could we be wrong? ¶
¶ sail away with me to another world ¶
¶ and we rely on each other, uh-huh ¶
¶ from one lover to another, uh-huh ¶
¶ from one lover to another, uh-huh ¶
¶ uh-huh ¶
¶ from one lover to-- ¶
Yeah, I'm hungry, but we can't stop
For more than a couple minutes
In the first half an hour or he'll wake up.
Fast food okay? Yeah, I love fast food.
I'm not talking about sushi from the supermarket.
I would never eat sushi from a supermarket.
So, uh,
In my previous life when I used to go to clubs,
We would always end the night at 2:00 a.M.
In a fast food drive thru.
What was your go-to?
Well, that depends on what kind of fries you're after.
The snack stand-- always solid.
But if you want curly fries, you got to go to ocean side burgers,
Unless you prefer your curly fries spicy,
And then it's speedy's.
Now, for waffle fries, I recommend big ronnie's
Or burger bonanza if you're craving tater tots,
Which I don't even really consider fries.
Spicy waffle.
Game on.
I agree-- objectively he is
In the top five percent of cuteness.
I know, and then when you add in
His personality, it's like, come on, forget about it.
You think he has a personality? Absolutely!
Besides fussy? Whoa, he's not fussy.
He's opinionated. He is-- hear me out.
And he's not afraid to use his voice to demand change.
I'll bet you in the baby community,
He would be a real leader. I'm just saying.
So, what do you want in life?
I just mean...
Going to clubs until 2:00 a.M.--
Do you miss that?
I miss the fries.
No, come on, seriously.
You want to know what I want?
I want this
To just be a regular Thursday,
Instead of the first time all week
That I have been truly happy.
I love you, jane.
I never stopped loving you.
I'm sorry.
I'm just not ready yet.
O-m-g. What are you doing?
Just give him the rose and marry him!
And have sex with him forever and ever!
(knocking on door) rafael: Hey, can you get that?
I think it's breakfast.
I'm on it.
Ah, yes.
Good morning. Morning.
Right here is great.
Thank you.
Rafael: Hey.
We thought that we would let you sleep in for once.
No raging neighbors.
Rogelio: Thank you, god!
Oh, it feels so good to be back here.
And by here, I don't mean
This closet off the engine room.
I mean, here, naked in bed with you.
(laughs) yeah, I got that.
Where did we go wrong?
Well, you kissed someone else.
I know, and-and that was an idiotic thing to do,
But don't you think you overreacted a little?
I tend to react very emotionally.
It's both my greatest strength...
And your greatest weakness.
...And what makes me
Such a compelling actor.
See, I was thinking
You overreacted because of your ex-wife--
Please don't say her name.
Well, she cheated on you multiple times publically.
I need to relive it, xiomara.
But I didn't do that.
We're very different people.
That's true.
She would've definitely told me about the chocolate fountain.
(chuckles) I didn't think you saw.
I amazing peripheral vision.
And you're right.
You're very different people.
And I screwed up.
But I won't again.
Because I love you.
And I love you.
So maybe...
We shouldn't get that annulment after all.
Latin lover narrator: Also reconsidering a contract...
Oh, alice, thank you so much for your help.
My pleasure, mr. Solano.
I could talk about coastal erosion all day.
All right, bye-bye.
We are not bidding.
Lachlan altered
The geological report.
I just sweet-talked the secretary
To fax over the original.
The property is in an erosion zone.
Yes, that's what scott just told me.
But how's that possible? What?
Um, have you, uh, had a chance to glance at his résumé yet?
Uh... Yeah, I did.
Mm. So, he really went to harvard?
Um... Yeah.
He doesn't like to brag about it a lot.
But, yeah, he's a...
He's a harvard man.
Latin lover narrator: And suddenly, it hit him.
I just see something in him. I don't want to lose him.
Who do you think the father is?
No idea, but I feel sorry
For that poor sucker.
And just like that, rafael realized...
Let's give him that promotion.
Speaking of worst nightmares!
What's going on?
This amp was reported stolen.
Oh, no.
Go to your room and find your I.D.
This is my fault.
I'm sorry, officers. I took the amp.
Well, my neighbors are very rude.
And they pointed that thing
Right at my window on purpose. I-I...
Which doesn't matter, I know.
And I'm gonna return it right away.
And I'm very, very sorry.
Well, just try to work it out between you.
Up to them if they press charges.
And your grandma needs to sort out her paperwork,
So next time there's a dispute, she'll be able to find it.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, we understand.
I'm so sorry.
They're gone, it's fine, there's no problem.
I know, abuela, I know.
I'm... So sorry.
I mean, if there's anything I can do...
To make us not press charges?
We missed our gig 'cause we didn't have our amp.
What if I can get you a better gig?
Bachelorette jane (crying): I'm just so confused.
I mean, when I was with michael,
I can see myself with him.
But then when I was with rafael...
What are you doing? A confessional.
So I can work out my feelings.
I mean, we have to decide who to give the final rose to
And who to say good-bye to. (alarm blares)
(mateo cries) rafael: Jane!
Oh, shoot.
Jane, what's going on?! It's me! Hello!
W-wait, how-how do you turn this thing off?
I'm coming!
How do I turn this off?
Rafael set off the alarm.
I know what my name is.
No, it's "giraffe." what's the password?
The password is "giraffe." (alarm stops)
Hey, is everything okay? Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
I was nearby. Really? Is that what you do all day?
You just drive around jane's house? Is that your beat?
I got an alert on my phone saying that the alarm went off,
Okay? Well, if we need a security guard, then we'll hire one.
Rafael, stop, he just came to help. And how is he helping?
He's the reason you need a security system
In the first place; even rose knew he was obsessed with you.
That's why she took mateo.
Tell him to move on.
Just tell him how you feel, jane.
Don't, jane.
Don't say it.
Don't, really, don't!
I'm in love with both of you.
How did I feel?
You ever been punched in the gut?
And then in the face?
How do you think I felt?
Like my family was kidnapped again.
Don't ask me that, jackass.
I blame you.
I mean, I was feeling good in my nice little bubble.
Xiomara: Hey, I just wanted you to shower.
I didn't say to tell them you love them both.
Well, what am I gonna do?
I got to figure this out.
And you will.
Just don't rush.
Hey, ma, how did you sleep?
Jane told me what happened.
I'm so sorry, again.
No, no, no, no.
What do you mean?
I thought you were scared they could say no,
And you'd get deported.
If I knew this was gonna happen,
I would have stole that amp years ago.
Oh. Mami...
(cell phone rings)
I just wanted to call because of what rafael said,
Um, about mateo's kidnapping being my fault.
Look, he was mad. Michael: No, he was right.
I am why she took him.
She knew I'd do anything to get him back.
Stop, uh, by that logic, it's my fault too.
I mean, I'm the reason rose knew how you felt about me.
Do you know anything about wine?
Because I know dry, and this isn't dry, it's corked.
Actually, it's not corked, it's complex.
Who are you?
My husband owns the hotel.
See, I've felt the grapes myself
At this particular vineyard in switzerland,
And their unique texture gives the wine its flavor.
But if it's too advanced for your palette,
I'd be happy to bring you a bottle of chardonnay.
Side of ice, perhaps? Um, no.
Th-this will be fine.
Thank you for that.
Oh, my pleasure.
It's jane, right? Mm-hmm.
We haven't officially met. I'm rose.
You know detective cordero?
Jane: I told her all about us. Our relationship.
She seemed so concerned.
She just kept asking so many questions.
Jane, would you recognize the wine bottle?
A little wine for mrs. De la vega?
Trust me, you're going to want to take my name.
You won't believe
How much better you will be treated due to my fame.
So, uh, here's the thing.
I think we should go through with the annulment.
But... But I love you.
And I love you.
But I'm also trying to do things differently,
Now that I'm a grandma and all.
So I don't want to ignore the alarm bell.
What alarm bell? Luciana.
Please don't say that name.
Rogelio, you can't even say her name.
You clearly have some unresolved issues there,
And I think they go deeper than I realized.
So instead of getting married,
Let's go on a date and talk about it?
Well, I've heard wonderful things
About the ice cream in havana.
Perhaps I can buy you a cone?
Or use my fame to get you one for free?
I'd really like that.
Michael: Yes?
Yes, I'm positive.
So it really is swiss.
I've been through rose's passport a dozen times.
She's never even been to switzerland.
But you said she felt those grapes herself.
So she has been there.
But not as rose solano.
As... Whoever she was before.
Finally, we have a place to start looking.
Latin lover narrator: Wait, I've seen that mountain range before.
(phone rings)
Uh-oh, that can't be good.
Also not good-- remember that geological report?
It was forged.
And luisa is about to realize that
In three, two, one...
Oh, my god. Rick!
She just had to find rafael or petra to tell...
Oh, no! She was about to tell petra about rick.
I'm sorry, I mean lachlan.
I'm sorry to make you think about rose again.
No, I hate uncertainty.
I actually feel better knowing we're doing something.
Yeah, I get that.
So I should go. So I wanted to...
I just wanted to apologize for what happened with rafael.
Oh, yeah, I'm not... I'm not worried about it.
Let me ask you something.
Who knows you better, me or rafael?
You do.
So I know you're not really in love with him.
You're just in love with the idea of family.
You'll figure that out.
And hopefully I'll still be around.
Latin lover narrator: Maybe she was just in love with the idea of family.
But it was a very strong pull.
Gun to your head, who do you choose?
Let's go think about it outside, during sunset.
Ooh, I love sunsets.
(lock clicks) (sighs)
(pounding on door) let me back in!
We haven't given the final rose!
You can't quit now! (door handle rattles)
You're in a good mood.
Because I just won the property bid.
What are you talking about? We didn't submit.
Right, but my new employers did.
Because there is no erosion zone.
No, rafael called the planning commission.
No, he called the number I provided.
Oh, alice, thank you so much for your help.
My pleasure, mr. Solano.
I could talk about coastal erosion all day.
That was perfect, janet.
Latin lover narrator: It should be noted,
This was precisely the moment petra started to feel sick.
I knew you wouldn't trust me.
And now my new employers got the property for cheap,
I got a half-million-dollar bonus,
And we are going to build a high rise
That kills your ocean views.
Latin lover narrator: She'd been played!
Rafael had been played!
But how could she focus on that,
When she had a stick to pee on?
(phone rings)
Latin lover narrator: Remember?
Harvard's managing the lounge now.
Hello, mr. Solano, this is diane calling
From the miami-dade memorial fertility clinic.
I just wanted to confirm your address
Since you'll be receiving a $127 rebate.
Oh, uh, okay. For what?
Well, according to our records,
You've continued to pay the monthly storage fee.
That's no longer necessary
Since mrs. Solano took your final sample.
Wait, wait... She... She what?
Your wife, petra solano.
She came by our office two weeks ago
To retrieve the sample we found.
Latin lover narrator: You know what?
This is too good.
I got to see it again,
Instant-replay style in slo-mo.
Note the lip snarl of panic and rage,
The raised eyebrows, the bulging eyes.
Yes, rafael, you are the poor sucker.
Which reminds me-- the results are in.
Oh, baby.
Captioning sponsored by cbs