Jane the Virgin (2014–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - Chapter Thirty-Two - full transcript
Jane considers dating again when she meets a guy named Dax; Rafael shares information with Michael.
Latin lover narrator:
Okay, people.
Time to reboot and refresh.
As we all know by now,
Jane was accidentally
artificially inseminated
with Rafael's sperm.
Meanwhile, Rafael's
ex-wife Petra
intentionally inseminated
herself with his sperm,
because she
really does love him.
I know, it's crazier
than anything Jane
could dream up.
And remember, she's in grad
school to become a writer.
Oh, and speaking
of unexpected developments...
Jane?
Grandpa?
Rogelio's mother
outed his father.
Your grandfather is gay.
So, yeah, mama drama.
Oh, and speaking of,
Rafael just learned
his mother Elena is
the international crime boss
known as mutter.
And detective Michael has just
realized that as well.
It's her!
But unfortunately,
they did not get there
fast enough.
So let's hope Rafael's okay.
Let's begin today
with a portrait
of the writer as a young woman.
It should be noted
that 232 hours of babysitting,
all of her quinceañera
gift money,
and three weeks
of comparison shopping
had led young
Jane gloriana villanueva
to this very moment.
Now I can write anywhere
anytime.
And so she took
her first laptop everywhere,
waiting for the muse to strike.
And she waited.
And still waiting.
Seriously, anytime, muse.
She's ready.
And just when she was
beginning to feel defeated,
there it was.
That's when Jane learned
a very important lesson.
You never know
when inspiration will strike.
And let me tell you,
when it happens...
...there's nothing
quite like the rush
of finding the flow.
A night like this is just
the best feeling in the world.
Well, to a woman
who's never had sex.
Ah!
Because I finally
cracked my novel.
I tried, like,
ten different openings.
And then last night,
it just came
in, like, a rush.
Xiomara:
Yay, yay, yay!
Why are you so happy?
Because you cracked your novel.
And after last night,
Rogelio finally
sees his mother
for the master manipulator
she is.
Ah, yes, last night.
Dad...
You don't.
I do.
Mom.
Come.
Let's check in on the master
manipulator, shall we?
And in honor
of the first day of shooting
of tiago a través del tiempo.
Latin lover narrator:
Wow, she is good.
I know what you're
doing, mother.
Huh?
You're trying to seduce me
into forgiving you
with a perfect blend of savory
and sweet breakfast items.
But it will not work this time.
Rogelio, I am simply
making you breakfast.
It's what I always did
before your professional
milestones, okay?
So, when you say your line,
show you them
your beautiful soul
and your beautiful teeth.
Chewel's gum oozes with flavor.
Enough.
I know we made an amazing
and dynamic team.
But that doesn't change the fact
that you lied
just to get my sympathy.
Well, that is right.
I-i did.
But that's because I knew
that when the truth came out,
I wouldn't have it.
I just want you to be happy.
You and dad both.
Oh, and we were,
we were.
That is what's making this
so difficult.
I knew that your father
had his stuff on the side.
But we were partners
in other ways.
So why is he now trying to,
trying to change everything?
Rogelio?
Please... talk to him.
Convince him
that he doesn't have
to leave me.
Yep, he definitely
has to leave her.
Wait, where's Mateo?
He was playing right
here on the floor.
Mateo!
Mateo?
Mateo?
Oh, my god, look!
He's crawling!
Oh, my god, he's crawling!
He's crawling!
Slow down, speed demon.
My computer!
No, no, no, no!
Please don't be dead!
Please.
Xiomara: Oh, my god. No, no.
Try to turn it on.
Jane:
I am. Oh, my god.
I can't believe this.
This is the worst thing ever.
Latin lover narrator:
Well, maybe not ever.
You'll recall Rafael
was injected
with a mysterious liquid
by his mother.
Or mutter, as it were.
Where is the
flash drive?
What are you talking about?
The flash drive you traded for
Mateo. Who did you give it to?
I gave it to rose.
No, she doesn't
have it. Who does?
I think we can all agree
that that's worse than possibly
breaking a computer.
But in fairness to Jane,
she didn't know any of that.
And hardship
isn't a competition.
My mother...
Yeah, we know. We know.
Why'd you want to
talk to me alone?
Because my mother
wanted the chip.
The one we traded for Mateo.
Do you even want to know
what's on the chip?
No.
All of the faces
sin rostro changed.
But I gave that to Nadine
to give to rose.
My mother says
rose doesn't have it.
Oh, my god.
Nadine must not have given it
to her.
That's why I wanted to talk
to you, away from your partner.
'Cause we probably broke some
laws trying to get Mateo back.
You didn't. I did.
It should be noted
that at this moment
Michael knew
he had to come clean.
But that didn't make it
any easier.
What the hell, cordero?
Jane's baby was taken.
I had to get him back.
This, it's...
I know.
But the chip, that's what
this is all about.
Rose took Mateo to get it.
Elena took luisa
to get rose to give it to her.
But rose doesn't have it
because Nadine didn't give it
to her.
So where is it?
I don't know. Yet.
But give me some
time, please.
What-what are you...
What are you gonna do?
Please...
Wait.
Hold on. Just...
Yeah. I'm not sure
if we can recover the files.
I'll ask you to keep in mind
that, like hardship,
the importance of files
is relative.
Please. If there is anything
you can do, it is so important.
Th-these are important files?
Well, in that case,
then I'm gonna really try.
Yeah, I guess
you get that a lot.
It's all relative,
you know? Look,
I'm gonna give it to you
straight.
Oj, it's like napalm
for keyboards.
But it's okay. It's okay.
L-look, i-I've done this before.
I'm gonna go in the back,
run some diagnostics.
You wait right over there.
Regardless of
what happens,
I'm gonna set you up
with a sweet cloud service
so that this never happens
to you again.
Okay?
Um, heavy flirt alert.
What are you
talking about?
The eye contact.
The hand on the arm.
He wants to set up
your sweet cloud?
Oh. I-i just... my head
is not there right now.
I'm in a crisis.
What?
Nothing. I just think
that the real crisis
is that you've lost touch
with the fact that you are
a 24-year-old mom
and not a grandma.
Lina.
I'm serious. When was the
last time you got any action?
Virgin action, even.
My birthday?
When you kissed Michael?
Maybe.
That was six months ago!
No wonder you couldn't see
the flirting.
You need a reboot, lady.
You see how I used
the tech lingo there?
Okay, listen, I just don't
really have time right now.
I-i...
No. No. I refuse
to accept that.
You could find a dozen
eligible randos on cynder
while you're sitting
on the toilet.
Look, I'm-a show you.
Oh, god. As romantic
as that sounds,
I want a... meet cute.
If I'm gonna meet somebody,
I'm gonna do it
the old-fashioned way.
It's 2016.
Okcupid is
the old-fashioned way.
That is so depressing.
Ooh, he is coming back.
Look natural.
Sexy natural.
What? How?
Shoulders back. Hi.
Uh,
what happened?
Not the coolest sitch.
But let me keep it
a few more days and go deep.
But you have a hard copy,
right? O-of your document?
Yeah. I mean, I have, like,
a middle-of-the-night one,
not with revisions, but...
I threw it away.
The garbage.
Where's the garbage?
No.
From the marbella
business center.
Oh, you are saving my life.
Thank you.
It's been such a traumatic day.
Latin lover narrator:
Again, relative.
I hear you.
Can we talk, actually?
Out here?
And so Rafael downloaded
the whole sordid story.
The injection.
The flash drive.
The fact that his mother was
an international crime lord.
Oh.
Yeah. So I thought I'd
just watch Mateo here today.
Are you okay?
I am.
I promise.
Go write.
Latin lover narrator:
Which, for the record,
she was trying to do, when...
Hi!
Hey.
I'm Brad.
Oh, I look a little
different with stubble.
Excuse me?
I know. Way different.
What you got there,
a mocha latte?
Oh, no-- I, uh,
I'm actually working.
Oh, am I early?
Early for...?
Our date?
Our what now?
You're the one who
suggested coming here.
On cynder?
I'm not on cynder.
You're Jane.
I am.
Yes, you are.
Oh, my god.
These pictures.
Wh...?
And "rando"?
I've never used
that word before in my life.
Okay, I'm never telling you
where I'm at again.
Lina:
Oh, stop.
Did you have fun, at least?
No. It was very awkward
and confusing.
That's because
it wasn't a match.
Otherwise, it would've been
the most romantic story ever.
Jane: Okay.
Send me the profile info,
I'm taking it down.
Fine.
I'm sorry. I love you.
Rogelio:
And I realized
he was right.
So, I'm going to make my mother
my manager again.
What?
The kris to my Kim.
It makes total sense.
That's how we started out.
Rogelio, that's a terrible idea.
Why? She needs this.
I mean, I know
you don't like my mother,
but I was hoping you'd be
more supportive of her
in her time of need.
Jane:
Hey!
Hi.
Hi, Mr. sweetface.
Oh, my goodness
can you get cuter?
How was writing?
Oh, it was, um...
Latin lover narrator:
Interesting dilemma.
Do you tell your ex-boyfriend
about an ambush blind date?
Lina ambushed me
with a blind date.
Latin lover narrator:
I guess if you're Jane, you do.
She what?
She set up
a fake profile
and set up a date.
That's crazy.
I know.
Was it a match, or...?
Stop. No.
Okay.
No.
Ooh.
Ooh, whoo!
Who needs a diaper change, huh?
Okay, we'll be right back.
Yes.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Mommy's so proud of you.
Yes, she is.
He...
Petra...
Wait, what?
Stop, stop. I'll be right there.
Yeah. Okay, I understand.
Hey.
Hey, what's going on?
The babies are fine.
Uh, there was some bleeding.
I got scared.
But they're...
They're okay?
Yes.
The oxygen levels are solid
and the babies look good.
But she's gonna have
to stay on strict bed rest
for the next
week at least.
Of course,
of course.
We'll get you a nurse.
24/7.
Latin lover narrator:
Not okay?
Jane's thesis.
Okay, back to it.
Okay, take that profile down.
Then it's back to work.
42 messages?
Whoa.
Okay, let's at least read them.
That's just common courtesy.
I'm Zander. 32,
into vin diesel movies,
Greek food, and hopefully you.
Damn, your pictures are hot!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Colby here. 26.
Me: Smart, athletic,
successful, confident...
Humble.
You: Really big...
Brains.
Lol!
Yeah!
Taylor.
My sister has
a friend called Jane.
She's a freak.
What's that?
A wink?
What's a wink?
Oh, wow.
That's flattering.
Let's swap out the picture--
something
a little more... Jane.
Now, let's see what happens.
Hey. I'm Greg.
29. Scientist.
Yes, really a scientist.
I love books,
live music and the beach.
Hey, who's that cute kid?
Reminds me of my nephew.
And just like that,
she found the flow.
See? Never know
when inspiration will strike.
Wow! It looks like
we're going on a date, people!
It's 2016, abuela.
Okcupid is
the old-fashioned way.
Latin lover narrator: Looks
like someone had an about-face.
And it's just
30 minutes.
I won't even buy a muffin
if there's no spark.
I became involved in this
coastal ecology project
studying leidyula,
which is a kind of slug
native to Miami.
Anyways,
after I graduated,
the conservancy hired me
full-time, and...
And I've been in Miami
ever since.
Uh, what?
N-nothing.
I-i was just thinking
about how my son
would get a kick out
of touching a slug.
Oh, Mr. sweetface?
Yeah. You remembered
his nickname.
Yeah.
Oh. One sec. It's work.
Let me get rid of them.
Look at Jane-- surprised
by this happy turn of events.
Also surprised...
I've been trying
to call you.
This is a report I wrote
outlining all your violations.
Give me one good reason
i shouldn't drive it over
to the chief right now.
I mean... I can't think of any.
Because you need me
to find rose and Elena.
Nobody knows this case
better than me, okay? Nobody.
Fair point.
Still, illegal.
I want to know everything
that happened
between you and
Nadine in Mexico.
You leave nothing out.
You'd meet at the beach?
Right. Once a month.
Michael:
Daylight. A tourist place.
Did you hear anything?
Nothing.
Latin lover narrator: Actually,
I'm gonna overrule here.
We'll take
the snapshot version.
Susanna:
Stop, stop.
You're going to fast.
I'm sorry.
Okay, so on
the day of the meet...
She said she had
information.
Rose is meeting an importer,
and they always meet alone--
no guns, no guards.
This is our chance
to take her.
When's it happening?
Tonight.
What was...
Ow!
Sorry.
Sorry. I'm on edge.
Yeah, no kidding.
You're bleeding.
Sit down.
No, no, I'm fine,
I'm fine. It's fine.
Sit down.
Let me stop the blood.
I have a first aid kit
in the car.
Question.
Do you trust me?
I don't know.
Oh, you have
to trust me-- that's the only
way tonight's gonna work.
If it doesn't...
Then it's on you.
Michael:
And I didn't.
And it is.
Her death is on me.
Latin lover narrator:
Damn. Nadine really got
under his skin.
So please...
Don't go to the chief.
Not yet.
Jane:
I just need more time.
I've never had to ask
for an extension before.
I just... can't seem
to get my rhythm back.
Okay.
A story.
Hmm?
I have one.
To put this in perspective.
Ernest Hemingway's wife went
to visit him in Switzerland,
and she took a big,
green briefcase
of all of her
husband's manuscripts
because there was a publisher
that was interested.
At a train stop she got up
to get a glass of water,
and when she went back to her
seat, the briefcase was gone.
Well, then
what happened?
Besides Hemingway
divorcing his wife.
Then he wrote
the sun also rises.
And the point
of the story
is that he never would
have written that book
if he spent his time
trying to recreate
what he'd already lost.
Yeah. I just keep thinking
that what I had before
was so much better.
So stop thinking about
your thesis for 24 hours.
I'm serious, let it go.
Woman:
She fired me.
No...
Your key card
and your bill.
I have dealt with some
nightmare patients,
but she's a real piece of work.
What happened?
She was annoying.
Too cheerful.
That's the second
nurse you've fired.
The agency won't
send another one.
I don't need a nurse.
I can take care of myself.
I'll call room service
if I'm hungry.
And what happens
if there's an emergency?
I'll call you...
Or the concierge.
You make everything twice as
difficult as it needs to be.
Krishna, patch all my calls
through to Petra's suite.
Yeah, I'm going to
be working from here.
I'm not supposed to work at all
for the next 24 hours,
so, you know,
it's perfect timing
to actually hang out
with slug guy again.
And thank you, Lina, you were
right about online dating.
And thank you, Lina,
it's a fun diversion.
What?
Well, that's weird.
I can't find his profile;
He just disappeared.
Oh no, honey.
He blocked you.
What?!
No.
Yeah.
No, if he disappeared,
that's what happened.
But he was feeling it.
And he canceled his
lunch to hang out more.
And then his friend called and
said that his... car broke down.
Oh. No...
Lina:
Yep, I know what happened.
One sec, it's work.
Let me get
rid of 'em.
I wasn't clingy.
You, Greg, Mateo and the slug.
Well, I do have a
kid to think about.
Only if you're trying
to find his next dad.
Are you?
I mean, I don't know.
No.
The answer is no, okay?
You are 24, okay?
You need to have fun,
let loose, kiss a rando.
Oh, you know what?
We're going out tonight.
Yeah.
: What?
No, I can't.
Yes, you can.
Okay, my apron is not
rigged to fly off.
What's going on?
Sorry.
Your mother switched the aprons
out at the last minute.
Oh.
Latin lover narrator:
Uh-oh.
Looks like kris is causing
some trouble for Kim.
So what's up?
I'm hearing you hate
the ending of the script.
What? No.
That's what
your mom said.
I'll be right back.
Mother, mother,
mother.
I see you've met
our new costar.
We were very lucky
to steal Adriana
from bandido
de tu corazon.
Ooh.
Although perhaps
i made a mistake.
Uh, wh-what did you say to her?
Nothing, I told her a little
lip wax would go a long way.
Ooh, diva.
Adriana,
please wait.
Wait. Sor...
She comes on a little strong,
but she's well-intentioned.
She's not gonna be
around, is she?
Don't worry,
I'll talk to her.
I'll take care of it.
I hope so.
Or tiago might have
to travel through time
to find himself
a new costar.
Is that a new
"or else" look?
Yes, I have recently
added it to my repertoire.
Is it threatening?
Extremely.
Good.
How was work?
Fine.
Perfect, in fact.
What happened to your neck?
Oh. Nothing.
You have a rash.
Might be the new
foundation they're using.
You sure everything's okay?
You seem tense.
I would tell
you about it,
but I know you're biased
and have a bone to
pick with my mother,
so I don't feel comfortable
sharing with you.
Come on.
I feel bad.
I-i messed up.
Tell me what's happening.
She's driving
everyone crazy.
I have to give Adriana
an extended close-up
just to keep her
from quitting.
Okay, so talk to your mom.
Tell her to tone it down a bit.
Coming, Mateo.
Where's Jane?
She actually
went out.
Like, to a bar.
Latin lover narrator:
Which brings us here.
Like, to a bar.
All right,
where are all these
exciting prospects
i was promised?
Have two more drinks, and
they'll start to appear.
Let's take a shot then.
For efficiency.
Yeah.
Oh, my god. Okay.
What?
Don't look now,
but over your left shoulder is
the guy from the computer store.
Oh.
Stop. Be subtle.
Okay.
Mm.
Hey, computer guy?
What?
What are you doing?!
Come on.
What are the odds?
He's here, you're here,
and he's perfect
fling material.
Dax, hi!
We met at the computer store.
The orange juice.
Orange juice.
Yes. That's right.
How's my computer looking?
Uh, am I wearing a lanyard
around my neck?
No.
Actually, we're all
gonna hit the skate park
in a few. You should come with.
Latin lover narrator:
Yeah. No way she's going
to a skate park.
You want to stay low
on the board.
Uh-huh.
And just feel it out.
You're not that high
off the ground,
so if you fall, no biggie.
Ready?
Yup, I'm ready.
You're sure?
Yeah.
Hop on.
Okay.
Good. Good.
You feeling it?
Maybe a little?
Great. Now, now,
you want to carve it out.
I don't even know
what that means.
Oh. Hold on. Okay.
You're a natural!
I am?
Slow down.
Slow down. No. Wait.
Rafael:
What now?
More crackers, please.
Without sesame seeds.
Oh, and water.
Wow. Seriously?
What?
With the attitude?
Look, if you don't want
to be here, you can leave.
I can't leave,
because you fired the nurses.
I had to.
Had to?
What do you mean, you had to?
I had to.
They kept smiling at me
and saying "don't worry.
You're gonna be fine."
That's what they said the
last time, and it wasn't fine!
Latin lover narrator:
I should point out
what's unspoken
between them right now.
I get it.
I'll get you your water
and crackers, okay?
Okay.
All right.
We're all good.
You know, I've never actually
seen someone catch air
their first time up.
I didn't mean
to go so high.
Well, you can't let the fear of
falling keep you from flying.
That is so true.
Latin lover narrator:
And I should point out, there's
something unspoken here, too.
Hmm.
Well, it's all good.
Thanks, doc.
Now, wait.
You're shivering.
I didn't see that coming.
Well, then you weren't
paying attention.
I had fun tonight.
Is it over?
Maybe we can continue
this on a weekend.
Mm.
This Saturday?
Oh, Saturday I can't.
I'm going out of town
with my girlfriend.
Xiomara:
You're kidding.
Jane: But I mean, I'm
mostly mad at myself.
I actually
started imagining
weekends at the skate park,
because... I don't know
how to do this.
What?
Date with a kid.
I mean, how often
do I bring him up,
and in what context, because the
moment you do, it gets serious
real quick, you know? What?
You've always
been serious.
I mean, you were gonna marry
your first-grade boyfriend.
My point is,
you're a relationship person.
Yeah. I am.
You know, and the thought
of going through all this again.
Trying to find the right person,
going on so many
terrible dates.
Till one isn't terrible...
And then what?
I have to start over again
with someone? It just sounds
so exhausting.
I just want to skip to the end.
Xiomara:
So maybe you're
not ready yet.
- Why force it?
- Maybe you're right.
You know, I have
Mateo and my thesis.
I have enough going on
right now.
I'm sorry. I got
to go see Rogelio. Apparently,
his mom is driving him crazy.
You had a shadow
across your face!
I am going to talk to the
cinematographer. Again.
Mom!
Deep breaths.
You can handle it.
I can't.
I'm gonna have
to fire my mother.
Rogelio.
You think
i want to do this?
But there's no other option.
Latin lover narrator:
Which brings us here.
Now.
I told them
you don't
pop in peach.
It's actually
more of a coral,
and I do look good in it.
Mom, this is not working.
I thought it was a good idea
to have you here,
but you're just too...
Present.
And opinionated.
I don't understand.
Isn't that why
you asked me here?
For my opinions?
No.
I-i asked you here
because you were struggling.
And I wanted you to have
something to occupy your time.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
No, no. Say no more.
I am a professional.
I know
how show business works.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Well... I remembered
a sentence.
Just the one sentence.
Hmm?
Abuela...
I got it.
And, you know...
There are some older people
that Internet-date.
I can always
sign you up.
Are you kidding?
With that dress you wore
at the baptism?
You okay?
Well, my son
just fired me.
So... not great.
Okay, look.
So you know, I...
I made him do it.
So blame me, okay?
Not him.
You're lying
through your teeth.
What?
No, I'm not.
Xiomara...
I overheard you two.
I'm gonna have
to fire my mother!
Rogelio: You think I want to do this?
Rogelio!
But there's no other option.
No. Absolutely no.
You don't fire your mom.
But I appreciate
the effort.
I'll be okay.
I know you will be.
And I know it's scary
starting over,
but... we're here.
Okay? All of us.
Latin lover narrator: Also
figuring out her next step...
Okay.
I'm putting in everything.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Oh.
Okay, so then the web site
takes all this information
and comes up with...
A text.
Even better.
My computer.
When suddenly,
and I should say,
quite without warning...
...there it was.
The spark.
Man:
Miss.
Last stop.
Got to get off.
See, it's true what they say...
Or what I said earlier.
You never know when
inspiration's going to strike.
What was...
Ow!
Nadine:
Oh, you have
to trust me--
that's the only way
tonight's gonna work.
If it doesn't...
Then it's on you.
You have to trust me--
that's the only way
tonight's gonna work.
If it doesn't...
What was...
Ow!
...then it's on you.
...it's on you.
Latin lover narrator:
Like I said,
Nadine really got
under his skin.
Hey.
Xiomara:
Hey.
Your computer.
They got all the files back.
Thank you.
And guess who else is back?
Oh. Glad you came, Liliana.
Well, of course
i came.
I am the one who suggested that
this last scene be rewritten.
I want to see the results.
Manuel.
And speaking of pride...
Director:
And action!
Disculpe.
La policia!
It was on me,
literally.
Armstrong: What is that?
Michael:
A computer chip.
Nadine left it with me,
and i-i didn't know I had it.
Liliana:
Honestly,
I don't know what
i am going to do next.
But I'll figure
something out.
I am... resilient,
if nothing else.
I know you are.
And, uh...
I want to give you this.
Since I no longer need it.
For xiomara.
You know...
You found a good woman.
I think you
should marry her.
Now, go back
to your telenovela.
Latin lover narrator:
And we should return to ours.
"Natasha"?
It's a good name.
Like Boris and Natasha?
Fine. Throw it out. Next.
Oh, I like that.
This was at the top
of my list.
Show me.
Yes.
Oh, I love this.
Let's see them together.
I like that.
Wow, it's starting
to feel real.
My mother's a monster.
But you're not.
Latin lover narrator:
I know what you're thinking.
Who's Pablo Alonso segura?
Jane: I wanted the love story
to start right there.
Completely unexpected but
inevitable at the same time.
I love it.
Yeah?
Yeah, there's no
wonder you went crazy
looking for your
chapter; It's great.
Well, no, I actually
wrote that on the bus.
It's a lot better
than what I had before.
Uh, I'm gonna be sure
and tell my nephew that
next time he cries
because his little brother
crushed his tower.
Oh, how old are your nephews?
Three and five.
Man, I can't get enough
of those little guys.
Uh, have you read this?
That is one
of my favorite books.
Me too.
Read it every year.
I was going to recommend it
for the magical realism.
Hmm.
Is that a grilled
cheese sandwich?
Your brains are so hot.
Latin lover narrator:
Wow, okay.
So, yeah, that was
pretty inspired.
Okay, people.
Time to reboot and refresh.
As we all know by now,
Jane was accidentally
artificially inseminated
with Rafael's sperm.
Meanwhile, Rafael's
ex-wife Petra
intentionally inseminated
herself with his sperm,
because she
really does love him.
I know, it's crazier
than anything Jane
could dream up.
And remember, she's in grad
school to become a writer.
Oh, and speaking
of unexpected developments...
Jane?
Grandpa?
Rogelio's mother
outed his father.
Your grandfather is gay.
So, yeah, mama drama.
Oh, and speaking of,
Rafael just learned
his mother Elena is
the international crime boss
known as mutter.
And detective Michael has just
realized that as well.
It's her!
But unfortunately,
they did not get there
fast enough.
So let's hope Rafael's okay.
Let's begin today
with a portrait
of the writer as a young woman.
It should be noted
that 232 hours of babysitting,
all of her quinceañera
gift money,
and three weeks
of comparison shopping
had led young
Jane gloriana villanueva
to this very moment.
Now I can write anywhere
anytime.
And so she took
her first laptop everywhere,
waiting for the muse to strike.
And she waited.
And still waiting.
Seriously, anytime, muse.
She's ready.
And just when she was
beginning to feel defeated,
there it was.
That's when Jane learned
a very important lesson.
You never know
when inspiration will strike.
And let me tell you,
when it happens...
...there's nothing
quite like the rush
of finding the flow.
A night like this is just
the best feeling in the world.
Well, to a woman
who's never had sex.
Ah!
Because I finally
cracked my novel.
I tried, like,
ten different openings.
And then last night,
it just came
in, like, a rush.
Xiomara:
Yay, yay, yay!
Why are you so happy?
Because you cracked your novel.
And after last night,
Rogelio finally
sees his mother
for the master manipulator
she is.
Ah, yes, last night.
Dad...
You don't.
I do.
Mom.
Come.
Let's check in on the master
manipulator, shall we?
And in honor
of the first day of shooting
of tiago a través del tiempo.
Latin lover narrator:
Wow, she is good.
I know what you're
doing, mother.
Huh?
You're trying to seduce me
into forgiving you
with a perfect blend of savory
and sweet breakfast items.
But it will not work this time.
Rogelio, I am simply
making you breakfast.
It's what I always did
before your professional
milestones, okay?
So, when you say your line,
show you them
your beautiful soul
and your beautiful teeth.
Chewel's gum oozes with flavor.
Enough.
I know we made an amazing
and dynamic team.
But that doesn't change the fact
that you lied
just to get my sympathy.
Well, that is right.
I-i did.
But that's because I knew
that when the truth came out,
I wouldn't have it.
I just want you to be happy.
You and dad both.
Oh, and we were,
we were.
That is what's making this
so difficult.
I knew that your father
had his stuff on the side.
But we were partners
in other ways.
So why is he now trying to,
trying to change everything?
Rogelio?
Please... talk to him.
Convince him
that he doesn't have
to leave me.
Yep, he definitely
has to leave her.
Wait, where's Mateo?
He was playing right
here on the floor.
Mateo!
Mateo?
Mateo?
Oh, my god, look!
He's crawling!
Oh, my god, he's crawling!
He's crawling!
Slow down, speed demon.
My computer!
No, no, no, no!
Please don't be dead!
Please.
Xiomara: Oh, my god. No, no.
Try to turn it on.
Jane:
I am. Oh, my god.
I can't believe this.
This is the worst thing ever.
Latin lover narrator:
Well, maybe not ever.
You'll recall Rafael
was injected
with a mysterious liquid
by his mother.
Or mutter, as it were.
Where is the
flash drive?
What are you talking about?
The flash drive you traded for
Mateo. Who did you give it to?
I gave it to rose.
No, she doesn't
have it. Who does?
I think we can all agree
that that's worse than possibly
breaking a computer.
But in fairness to Jane,
she didn't know any of that.
And hardship
isn't a competition.
My mother...
Yeah, we know. We know.
Why'd you want to
talk to me alone?
Because my mother
wanted the chip.
The one we traded for Mateo.
Do you even want to know
what's on the chip?
No.
All of the faces
sin rostro changed.
But I gave that to Nadine
to give to rose.
My mother says
rose doesn't have it.
Oh, my god.
Nadine must not have given it
to her.
That's why I wanted to talk
to you, away from your partner.
'Cause we probably broke some
laws trying to get Mateo back.
You didn't. I did.
It should be noted
that at this moment
Michael knew
he had to come clean.
But that didn't make it
any easier.
What the hell, cordero?
Jane's baby was taken.
I had to get him back.
This, it's...
I know.
But the chip, that's what
this is all about.
Rose took Mateo to get it.
Elena took luisa
to get rose to give it to her.
But rose doesn't have it
because Nadine didn't give it
to her.
So where is it?
I don't know. Yet.
But give me some
time, please.
What-what are you...
What are you gonna do?
Please...
Wait.
Hold on. Just...
Yeah. I'm not sure
if we can recover the files.
I'll ask you to keep in mind
that, like hardship,
the importance of files
is relative.
Please. If there is anything
you can do, it is so important.
Th-these are important files?
Well, in that case,
then I'm gonna really try.
Yeah, I guess
you get that a lot.
It's all relative,
you know? Look,
I'm gonna give it to you
straight.
Oj, it's like napalm
for keyboards.
But it's okay. It's okay.
L-look, i-I've done this before.
I'm gonna go in the back,
run some diagnostics.
You wait right over there.
Regardless of
what happens,
I'm gonna set you up
with a sweet cloud service
so that this never happens
to you again.
Okay?
Um, heavy flirt alert.
What are you
talking about?
The eye contact.
The hand on the arm.
He wants to set up
your sweet cloud?
Oh. I-i just... my head
is not there right now.
I'm in a crisis.
What?
Nothing. I just think
that the real crisis
is that you've lost touch
with the fact that you are
a 24-year-old mom
and not a grandma.
Lina.
I'm serious. When was the
last time you got any action?
Virgin action, even.
My birthday?
When you kissed Michael?
Maybe.
That was six months ago!
No wonder you couldn't see
the flirting.
You need a reboot, lady.
You see how I used
the tech lingo there?
Okay, listen, I just don't
really have time right now.
I-i...
No. No. I refuse
to accept that.
You could find a dozen
eligible randos on cynder
while you're sitting
on the toilet.
Look, I'm-a show you.
Oh, god. As romantic
as that sounds,
I want a... meet cute.
If I'm gonna meet somebody,
I'm gonna do it
the old-fashioned way.
It's 2016.
Okcupid is
the old-fashioned way.
That is so depressing.
Ooh, he is coming back.
Look natural.
Sexy natural.
What? How?
Shoulders back. Hi.
Uh,
what happened?
Not the coolest sitch.
But let me keep it
a few more days and go deep.
But you have a hard copy,
right? O-of your document?
Yeah. I mean, I have, like,
a middle-of-the-night one,
not with revisions, but...
I threw it away.
The garbage.
Where's the garbage?
No.
From the marbella
business center.
Oh, you are saving my life.
Thank you.
It's been such a traumatic day.
Latin lover narrator:
Again, relative.
I hear you.
Can we talk, actually?
Out here?
And so Rafael downloaded
the whole sordid story.
The injection.
The flash drive.
The fact that his mother was
an international crime lord.
Oh.
Yeah. So I thought I'd
just watch Mateo here today.
Are you okay?
I am.
I promise.
Go write.
Latin lover narrator:
Which, for the record,
she was trying to do, when...
Hi!
Hey.
I'm Brad.
Oh, I look a little
different with stubble.
Excuse me?
I know. Way different.
What you got there,
a mocha latte?
Oh, no-- I, uh,
I'm actually working.
Oh, am I early?
Early for...?
Our date?
Our what now?
You're the one who
suggested coming here.
On cynder?
I'm not on cynder.
You're Jane.
I am.
Yes, you are.
Oh, my god.
These pictures.
Wh...?
And "rando"?
I've never used
that word before in my life.
Okay, I'm never telling you
where I'm at again.
Lina:
Oh, stop.
Did you have fun, at least?
No. It was very awkward
and confusing.
That's because
it wasn't a match.
Otherwise, it would've been
the most romantic story ever.
Jane: Okay.
Send me the profile info,
I'm taking it down.
Fine.
I'm sorry. I love you.
Rogelio:
And I realized
he was right.
So, I'm going to make my mother
my manager again.
What?
The kris to my Kim.
It makes total sense.
That's how we started out.
Rogelio, that's a terrible idea.
Why? She needs this.
I mean, I know
you don't like my mother,
but I was hoping you'd be
more supportive of her
in her time of need.
Jane:
Hey!
Hi.
Hi, Mr. sweetface.
Oh, my goodness
can you get cuter?
How was writing?
Oh, it was, um...
Latin lover narrator:
Interesting dilemma.
Do you tell your ex-boyfriend
about an ambush blind date?
Lina ambushed me
with a blind date.
Latin lover narrator:
I guess if you're Jane, you do.
She what?
She set up
a fake profile
and set up a date.
That's crazy.
I know.
Was it a match, or...?
Stop. No.
Okay.
No.
Ooh.
Ooh, whoo!
Who needs a diaper change, huh?
Okay, we'll be right back.
Yes.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Mommy's so proud of you.
Yes, she is.
He...
Petra...
Wait, what?
Stop, stop. I'll be right there.
Yeah. Okay, I understand.
Hey.
Hey, what's going on?
The babies are fine.
Uh, there was some bleeding.
I got scared.
But they're...
They're okay?
Yes.
The oxygen levels are solid
and the babies look good.
But she's gonna have
to stay on strict bed rest
for the next
week at least.
Of course,
of course.
We'll get you a nurse.
24/7.
Latin lover narrator:
Not okay?
Jane's thesis.
Okay, back to it.
Okay, take that profile down.
Then it's back to work.
42 messages?
Whoa.
Okay, let's at least read them.
That's just common courtesy.
I'm Zander. 32,
into vin diesel movies,
Greek food, and hopefully you.
Damn, your pictures are hot!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Colby here. 26.
Me: Smart, athletic,
successful, confident...
Humble.
You: Really big...
Brains.
Lol!
Yeah!
Taylor.
My sister has
a friend called Jane.
She's a freak.
What's that?
A wink?
What's a wink?
Oh, wow.
That's flattering.
Let's swap out the picture--
something
a little more... Jane.
Now, let's see what happens.
Hey. I'm Greg.
29. Scientist.
Yes, really a scientist.
I love books,
live music and the beach.
Hey, who's that cute kid?
Reminds me of my nephew.
And just like that,
she found the flow.
See? Never know
when inspiration will strike.
Wow! It looks like
we're going on a date, people!
It's 2016, abuela.
Okcupid is
the old-fashioned way.
Latin lover narrator: Looks
like someone had an about-face.
And it's just
30 minutes.
I won't even buy a muffin
if there's no spark.
I became involved in this
coastal ecology project
studying leidyula,
which is a kind of slug
native to Miami.
Anyways,
after I graduated,
the conservancy hired me
full-time, and...
And I've been in Miami
ever since.
Uh, what?
N-nothing.
I-i was just thinking
about how my son
would get a kick out
of touching a slug.
Oh, Mr. sweetface?
Yeah. You remembered
his nickname.
Yeah.
Oh. One sec. It's work.
Let me get rid of them.
Look at Jane-- surprised
by this happy turn of events.
Also surprised...
I've been trying
to call you.
This is a report I wrote
outlining all your violations.
Give me one good reason
i shouldn't drive it over
to the chief right now.
I mean... I can't think of any.
Because you need me
to find rose and Elena.
Nobody knows this case
better than me, okay? Nobody.
Fair point.
Still, illegal.
I want to know everything
that happened
between you and
Nadine in Mexico.
You leave nothing out.
You'd meet at the beach?
Right. Once a month.
Michael:
Daylight. A tourist place.
Did you hear anything?
Nothing.
Latin lover narrator: Actually,
I'm gonna overrule here.
We'll take
the snapshot version.
Susanna:
Stop, stop.
You're going to fast.
I'm sorry.
Okay, so on
the day of the meet...
She said she had
information.
Rose is meeting an importer,
and they always meet alone--
no guns, no guards.
This is our chance
to take her.
When's it happening?
Tonight.
What was...
Ow!
Sorry.
Sorry. I'm on edge.
Yeah, no kidding.
You're bleeding.
Sit down.
No, no, I'm fine,
I'm fine. It's fine.
Sit down.
Let me stop the blood.
I have a first aid kit
in the car.
Question.
Do you trust me?
I don't know.
Oh, you have
to trust me-- that's the only
way tonight's gonna work.
If it doesn't...
Then it's on you.
Michael:
And I didn't.
And it is.
Her death is on me.
Latin lover narrator:
Damn. Nadine really got
under his skin.
So please...
Don't go to the chief.
Not yet.
Jane:
I just need more time.
I've never had to ask
for an extension before.
I just... can't seem
to get my rhythm back.
Okay.
A story.
Hmm?
I have one.
To put this in perspective.
Ernest Hemingway's wife went
to visit him in Switzerland,
and she took a big,
green briefcase
of all of her
husband's manuscripts
because there was a publisher
that was interested.
At a train stop she got up
to get a glass of water,
and when she went back to her
seat, the briefcase was gone.
Well, then
what happened?
Besides Hemingway
divorcing his wife.
Then he wrote
the sun also rises.
And the point
of the story
is that he never would
have written that book
if he spent his time
trying to recreate
what he'd already lost.
Yeah. I just keep thinking
that what I had before
was so much better.
So stop thinking about
your thesis for 24 hours.
I'm serious, let it go.
Woman:
She fired me.
No...
Your key card
and your bill.
I have dealt with some
nightmare patients,
but she's a real piece of work.
What happened?
She was annoying.
Too cheerful.
That's the second
nurse you've fired.
The agency won't
send another one.
I don't need a nurse.
I can take care of myself.
I'll call room service
if I'm hungry.
And what happens
if there's an emergency?
I'll call you...
Or the concierge.
You make everything twice as
difficult as it needs to be.
Krishna, patch all my calls
through to Petra's suite.
Yeah, I'm going to
be working from here.
I'm not supposed to work at all
for the next 24 hours,
so, you know,
it's perfect timing
to actually hang out
with slug guy again.
And thank you, Lina, you were
right about online dating.
And thank you, Lina,
it's a fun diversion.
What?
Well, that's weird.
I can't find his profile;
He just disappeared.
Oh no, honey.
He blocked you.
What?!
No.
Yeah.
No, if he disappeared,
that's what happened.
But he was feeling it.
And he canceled his
lunch to hang out more.
And then his friend called and
said that his... car broke down.
Oh. No...
Lina:
Yep, I know what happened.
One sec, it's work.
Let me get
rid of 'em.
I wasn't clingy.
You, Greg, Mateo and the slug.
Well, I do have a
kid to think about.
Only if you're trying
to find his next dad.
Are you?
I mean, I don't know.
No.
The answer is no, okay?
You are 24, okay?
You need to have fun,
let loose, kiss a rando.
Oh, you know what?
We're going out tonight.
Yeah.
: What?
No, I can't.
Yes, you can.
Okay, my apron is not
rigged to fly off.
What's going on?
Sorry.
Your mother switched the aprons
out at the last minute.
Oh.
Latin lover narrator:
Uh-oh.
Looks like kris is causing
some trouble for Kim.
So what's up?
I'm hearing you hate
the ending of the script.
What? No.
That's what
your mom said.
I'll be right back.
Mother, mother,
mother.
I see you've met
our new costar.
We were very lucky
to steal Adriana
from bandido
de tu corazon.
Ooh.
Although perhaps
i made a mistake.
Uh, wh-what did you say to her?
Nothing, I told her a little
lip wax would go a long way.
Ooh, diva.
Adriana,
please wait.
Wait. Sor...
She comes on a little strong,
but she's well-intentioned.
She's not gonna be
around, is she?
Don't worry,
I'll talk to her.
I'll take care of it.
I hope so.
Or tiago might have
to travel through time
to find himself
a new costar.
Is that a new
"or else" look?
Yes, I have recently
added it to my repertoire.
Is it threatening?
Extremely.
Good.
How was work?
Fine.
Perfect, in fact.
What happened to your neck?
Oh. Nothing.
You have a rash.
Might be the new
foundation they're using.
You sure everything's okay?
You seem tense.
I would tell
you about it,
but I know you're biased
and have a bone to
pick with my mother,
so I don't feel comfortable
sharing with you.
Come on.
I feel bad.
I-i messed up.
Tell me what's happening.
She's driving
everyone crazy.
I have to give Adriana
an extended close-up
just to keep her
from quitting.
Okay, so talk to your mom.
Tell her to tone it down a bit.
Coming, Mateo.
Where's Jane?
She actually
went out.
Like, to a bar.
Latin lover narrator:
Which brings us here.
Like, to a bar.
All right,
where are all these
exciting prospects
i was promised?
Have two more drinks, and
they'll start to appear.
Let's take a shot then.
For efficiency.
Yeah.
Oh, my god. Okay.
What?
Don't look now,
but over your left shoulder is
the guy from the computer store.
Oh.
Stop. Be subtle.
Okay.
Mm.
Hey, computer guy?
What?
What are you doing?!
Come on.
What are the odds?
He's here, you're here,
and he's perfect
fling material.
Dax, hi!
We met at the computer store.
The orange juice.
Orange juice.
Yes. That's right.
How's my computer looking?
Uh, am I wearing a lanyard
around my neck?
No.
Actually, we're all
gonna hit the skate park
in a few. You should come with.
Latin lover narrator:
Yeah. No way she's going
to a skate park.
You want to stay low
on the board.
Uh-huh.
And just feel it out.
You're not that high
off the ground,
so if you fall, no biggie.
Ready?
Yup, I'm ready.
You're sure?
Yeah.
Hop on.
Okay.
Good. Good.
You feeling it?
Maybe a little?
Great. Now, now,
you want to carve it out.
I don't even know
what that means.
Oh. Hold on. Okay.
You're a natural!
I am?
Slow down.
Slow down. No. Wait.
Rafael:
What now?
More crackers, please.
Without sesame seeds.
Oh, and water.
Wow. Seriously?
What?
With the attitude?
Look, if you don't want
to be here, you can leave.
I can't leave,
because you fired the nurses.
I had to.
Had to?
What do you mean, you had to?
I had to.
They kept smiling at me
and saying "don't worry.
You're gonna be fine."
That's what they said the
last time, and it wasn't fine!
Latin lover narrator:
I should point out
what's unspoken
between them right now.
I get it.
I'll get you your water
and crackers, okay?
Okay.
All right.
We're all good.
You know, I've never actually
seen someone catch air
their first time up.
I didn't mean
to go so high.
Well, you can't let the fear of
falling keep you from flying.
That is so true.
Latin lover narrator:
And I should point out, there's
something unspoken here, too.
Hmm.
Well, it's all good.
Thanks, doc.
Now, wait.
You're shivering.
I didn't see that coming.
Well, then you weren't
paying attention.
I had fun tonight.
Is it over?
Maybe we can continue
this on a weekend.
Mm.
This Saturday?
Oh, Saturday I can't.
I'm going out of town
with my girlfriend.
Xiomara:
You're kidding.
Jane: But I mean, I'm
mostly mad at myself.
I actually
started imagining
weekends at the skate park,
because... I don't know
how to do this.
What?
Date with a kid.
I mean, how often
do I bring him up,
and in what context, because the
moment you do, it gets serious
real quick, you know? What?
You've always
been serious.
I mean, you were gonna marry
your first-grade boyfriend.
My point is,
you're a relationship person.
Yeah. I am.
You know, and the thought
of going through all this again.
Trying to find the right person,
going on so many
terrible dates.
Till one isn't terrible...
And then what?
I have to start over again
with someone? It just sounds
so exhausting.
I just want to skip to the end.
Xiomara:
So maybe you're
not ready yet.
- Why force it?
- Maybe you're right.
You know, I have
Mateo and my thesis.
I have enough going on
right now.
I'm sorry. I got
to go see Rogelio. Apparently,
his mom is driving him crazy.
You had a shadow
across your face!
I am going to talk to the
cinematographer. Again.
Mom!
Deep breaths.
You can handle it.
I can't.
I'm gonna have
to fire my mother.
Rogelio.
You think
i want to do this?
But there's no other option.
Latin lover narrator:
Which brings us here.
Now.
I told them
you don't
pop in peach.
It's actually
more of a coral,
and I do look good in it.
Mom, this is not working.
I thought it was a good idea
to have you here,
but you're just too...
Present.
And opinionated.
I don't understand.
Isn't that why
you asked me here?
For my opinions?
No.
I-i asked you here
because you were struggling.
And I wanted you to have
something to occupy your time.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
No, no. Say no more.
I am a professional.
I know
how show business works.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Well... I remembered
a sentence.
Just the one sentence.
Hmm?
Abuela...
I got it.
And, you know...
There are some older people
that Internet-date.
I can always
sign you up.
Are you kidding?
With that dress you wore
at the baptism?
You okay?
Well, my son
just fired me.
So... not great.
Okay, look.
So you know, I...
I made him do it.
So blame me, okay?
Not him.
You're lying
through your teeth.
What?
No, I'm not.
Xiomara...
I overheard you two.
I'm gonna have
to fire my mother!
Rogelio: You think I want to do this?
Rogelio!
But there's no other option.
No. Absolutely no.
You don't fire your mom.
But I appreciate
the effort.
I'll be okay.
I know you will be.
And I know it's scary
starting over,
but... we're here.
Okay? All of us.
Latin lover narrator: Also
figuring out her next step...
Okay.
I'm putting in everything.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Oh.
Okay, so then the web site
takes all this information
and comes up with...
A text.
Even better.
My computer.
When suddenly,
and I should say,
quite without warning...
...there it was.
The spark.
Man:
Miss.
Last stop.
Got to get off.
See, it's true what they say...
Or what I said earlier.
You never know when
inspiration's going to strike.
What was...
Ow!
Nadine:
Oh, you have
to trust me--
that's the only way
tonight's gonna work.
If it doesn't...
Then it's on you.
You have to trust me--
that's the only way
tonight's gonna work.
If it doesn't...
What was...
Ow!
...then it's on you.
...it's on you.
Latin lover narrator:
Like I said,
Nadine really got
under his skin.
Hey.
Xiomara:
Hey.
Your computer.
They got all the files back.
Thank you.
And guess who else is back?
Oh. Glad you came, Liliana.
Well, of course
i came.
I am the one who suggested that
this last scene be rewritten.
I want to see the results.
Manuel.
And speaking of pride...
Director:
And action!
Disculpe.
La policia!
It was on me,
literally.
Armstrong: What is that?
Michael:
A computer chip.
Nadine left it with me,
and i-i didn't know I had it.
Liliana:
Honestly,
I don't know what
i am going to do next.
But I'll figure
something out.
I am... resilient,
if nothing else.
I know you are.
And, uh...
I want to give you this.
Since I no longer need it.
For xiomara.
You know...
You found a good woman.
I think you
should marry her.
Now, go back
to your telenovela.
Latin lover narrator:
And we should return to ours.
"Natasha"?
It's a good name.
Like Boris and Natasha?
Fine. Throw it out. Next.
Oh, I like that.
This was at the top
of my list.
Show me.
Yes.
Oh, I love this.
Let's see them together.
I like that.
Wow, it's starting
to feel real.
My mother's a monster.
But you're not.
Latin lover narrator:
I know what you're thinking.
Who's Pablo Alonso segura?
Jane: I wanted the love story
to start right there.
Completely unexpected but
inevitable at the same time.
I love it.
Yeah?
Yeah, there's no
wonder you went crazy
looking for your
chapter; It's great.
Well, no, I actually
wrote that on the bus.
It's a lot better
than what I had before.
Uh, I'm gonna be sure
and tell my nephew that
next time he cries
because his little brother
crushed his tower.
Oh, how old are your nephews?
Three and five.
Man, I can't get enough
of those little guys.
Uh, have you read this?
That is one
of my favorite books.
Me too.
Read it every year.
I was going to recommend it
for the magical realism.
Hmm.
Is that a grilled
cheese sandwich?
Your brains are so hot.
Latin lover narrator:
Wow, okay.
So, yeah, that was
pretty inspired.