Jamie's American Road Trip (2009–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Wyoming - full transcript

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Woo!

Southend-On-Sea
is not like this at all!

Like many Brits,
my first taste of America

was being taken
to Disney World as a kid.

20 years on, I wanna get
a real taste of a country

that's fascinated me ever since.

I would have never imagined

to have seen this a mile away

from the hotels
I've been staying in.

And the only way I know how

is by cooking.



Tasting.

Where have you been all my life?

And getting stuck
into everything Stateside.

Hear me now!

-Raw and uncut...

...and without a guide book.

Excuse me, do you speak English?

I'll be
on a one-man food quest...

Come on, get gumbo,
gumbo Essex style!

...to be reborn
in the US of A.

On this trip,
I'm heading into the Wild West.

I'm covered in shit.

To get a taste
of what it's really like

to live like a cowboy.



Are there lots
of bears around here?

With no seasoning at all,
it's still delicious.

-The bad...

-...and the downright ugly.

Oh, that's making me wince.

I'm heading into
the heart of the old Wild West

Wyoming.

Vast and remote,

there's three times as many
cattle as there are people.

I'm in search of the ultimate
American hero, the cowboy

and the food that
keeps him going.

Wow, look at this.

What a journey to get here.

My first instruction

is to wait for a lift
by a mail box.

Ah, there it is.

I love this

about being out
in the middle of nowhere

coming out of the airport

and standing
next to a white post box.

I've come
to Buffalo Bill country

to meet my first real cowboys

at the Cody Rodeo.

For me, this trip
is all about sort of

meeting the iconic
American hero, really.

I know it sounds
a bit cheesy, but it's true

and it's what, like,
I obsessed about as a kid.

I don't know,
does it still exist?

Does the cowboy still exist,
what do they do?

If you talk to anyone
that knows about food

cowboy cooking, you know,
there's books and books on it

the camp fire,
pots, cauldron, grilling.

You know, smoke, beans...

But look at me...

I am a proper
Essex boy, out of my

out of my element, so

whether I can be
a cowboy or not, I don't know.

If that's him, look at
the size of that hat.

Scuba?

How you doing, man?

- How are you, Jamie?
- Nice to meet you, brother.

Thanks for coming to pick us up.

Cheers, man,
what shall I do with the bags?

- Just chuck 'em in the back?
- Yeah, just throw 'em

in the back and then
we'll head down to Cassie's.

Nice one, man.

Tomorrow's
the opening night at the rodeo.

Every year the young riders
gather together at Cassie's Bar

opposite the arena

for a Western tradition,
pitchfork fondue.

This does look like the all-time

old-school
American bar, brilliant.

It is.

Oh my lord.

- Are you having a laugh?
- Pitchfork.

Why have you got
meat hanging on a pitchfork?

- It's like a cauldron, innit?
- You're right.

- Do you mind if I have a look?
- Please do.

- How you doing, I'm Jamie.
- Nice to see ya, hi, Jamie.

Oh my god!

This is like some serious
medieval thing going on.

Pork fat, they chuck it in a pan

it turned into liquid fat

and then what,
people come and cut their meat

stick it on one of these,
dump it in.

So it's going back to really
primal old-school cooking?

Yeah, so--

Are you a chef, or a cook, or...

No, I'm not, I'm just a cowboy.

- Just a cowboy.
- I'm loving you already, brother

with meat like that.

This fat is so hot

it takes just a minute
to cook a great-looking steak.

Is there like a perfect
size for this kind of thing?

- About an inch thick.
- About an inch, yeah.

Does this go back to

when this place
was first settled, or...

- Early 1800s.
- Right.

You know, who knows
how far it went back.

So what do you do,
just, you stab it across a few?

Yeah, right across there.

You know what, in all the years
I've cooked, the other side

I've never seen
nothing like this in my life.

It's a chef's delight.

I knew that meat was
at the heart of the cowboy diet

but I didn't know
it would be this in your face.

I love it. I just love it.

That's brilliant.

Ready to come out.

Look at the colour.

I'd say they're about
medium rare to medium.

- Look at that.
- Look at those, Jamie.

And you never season this?

- That's interesting.
- No.

It's got, like, butter.

It's unlike any steak
I've ever eaten before

'cause it's got like
a crunch and a crisp to it

- 'cause it's been cooked so--
- Fast.

Incredibly fast.

Welcome to
our Wyoming tradition. Enjoy.

- Really good.
- Really good.

So simple, and you know what

with no seasoning at all
it's still delicious.

The rodeo boys have
been brought up on red meat.

They won't settle for anything
less than a hunk of beef

before risking their necks
riding the bucking broncos

and the bulls tomorrow night.

He rides broncs,
he rides broncs and bulls

broncs and bulls, broncs

bull rider, broncs and bulls.

Are you all crazy?

- Yeah.
- Maybe a little bit.

What was it like the first time
you looked down, and there's...

You're holding a handful

-of your own teeth and blood?

Have you all had
your teeth smashed out?

Oh yeah.

Put your hands up
if you've got fake teeth.

Word is
that 21-year old heart-throb

Tucker Zing is the one to watch.

He's on the edge of breaking
through into the big-time

as a professional rodeo rider.

I go to sleep, I dream
of barebacks, I dream of bulls.

You get to a rodeo
you're on a bareback or a bull

there's nothing better,
it's just pumping in ya.

So what's proper
cowboy food, then?

- Steak!
- To you? Steak.

You eat steak
before you ride, I mean

that's just the way
you gotta do it, it's red meat.

Gets the blood flowing,
gets your adrenaline up.

Do you class
yourselves as athletes or--

It's a sport, but you're
doing it because you love and

not because it pays the bills.

- I get it, I get it--
- Just like cooking--

I get it, but like when
I go to work every day

and I'm using a 12-inch chopper
and I'm cutting up a cow

it ain't gonna
bite me or kick my arse

-do you know what I mean?

I mean, when you
go to France, go skiing

"Bonjour monsieur,
would you like a fondue?

A little bit of fillet steak

in a little bit of
oil over a candle?"

"No, mate.
I've been to the Wild West.

Half a cow, on a stick
in a big old cauldron of fat

now take your

little French fondue
and stick it up your arse."

God bless America.

Let's go, boys. I'll buy.

My round.

I might not ever see you again.

Walking into the bar,
it feels like time stood still.

It's hard to believe
that it's 2009

and that Obama's
the new president.

But for now

I'm gonna try
partying like a cowboy

because tomorrow,
things get dangerous.

Tucker and the boys
are willing to risk it all

and I'm gonna be there
to see just how tough it gets.

I'm in Cody, Wyoming,
on the trail of cowboy food.

It's the opening night
of rodeo season

and I've offered to help cook
for the competitors' feast.

Are we allowed
to go behind the scenes?

Yeah, let's go.

Rodeo's a big deal
across America.

Around 90 million people
watch it every year.

Yeah, big man,
are you all right?

Are you boys up today?

- Yeah.
- You're up?

The boys I met last night

are going to get a chance
to prove just what they can do

and bareback rider Tucker
is tipped to win.

You all right, brother?
Let's have a look at you.

Yeah, man, that's sharp.

And what's all this?

Tape.

Goes all the way up.

Holds my arm in place,
got a brace,

got my biceps taped.

I have to tape over my knuckle
because the way my rigging runs.

It'll peel the skin

from about here
to here every time.

Right.

Keep that... Keep from hurting
myself too bad.

Okay.

While these boys
psyche themselves up,

I'm gonna head for safer ground

and do a bit of cooking
for after the show.

Across the field
from the stadium

is a real old trail town

where the rodeo cowboys
come for their after-show grub.

I'm hooking up with some people
that are Dutch oven cooks,

Dutch oven being,

you know, the old, traditional
method of cooking.

It's very, very cool.

People are really,
really into it

but it's not a touristy thing

this is like
something that people

are really passionate about.

- Jamie?
- Pleased to meet you.

Glad to meet you,
my name's Jeff.

- Jeff? Pleasure.
- This is Judy.

- Hi, Judy.
- Hi, Jamie, how are you?

Lovely to meet you,
yeah, really good.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- What's your name?
- Rawhide.

- Rawhide?
- Yes.

Superb. That's a proper
cowboy name, innit?

Tonight we're cooking

with Judy's
traditional Dutch ovens.

Back in the day,

a portable oven meant that
the original cowboy settlers

could cook just about
anything along the trail.

They were essential
in their struggle

to survive in the Wild West.

Do cowboys still cook like this
up in the mountains and stuff?

Does a lot of cooking still
happen around the campfire?

Yes, they do cook
around the campfire.

So even though
we're in modern times

it's still relevant?

In the last three years

I've sort of, as a chef

I've sort of come
almost full circle now

and all that technology

and cleverness
that's in the industry

- stainless steel, jets, steam...
- Yeah.

- yeah.
- Microwaves.

I'm over all that,
and actually it's come back to

good old charcoal and wood.

- Original basic things.
- Yeah.

And guess what?
Judy's cooking beef.

We need to get it going,
'cause the weather's so

unpredictable right now and cold

I need to get this in the oven.

Okay, oh, so you're
lining it with bacon first?

- Yes.
- So presumably it will

catch and burn a bit

but it would have done
its work by then and flavoured?

But I'll put water
in there so it won't burn.

- Oh, so it won't burn.
- Right.

I'll put a little water in.

A lot of times
they would use coffee

to put in there as a,
as a little bit of a liquid

and we can do that, we can
get some coffee if you'd like?

Let's have it,
let's go for some extra flavour.

Okay.

Coffee was
important to the cowboys?

Absolutely.

That looks good.

- That's enough?
- That's enough for now.

- We'll just put the lid on this.
- Okay.

And the cook was usually
a cowboy that had gotten hurt

and could not work any longer

as a cowboy,
so he became the cook.

There must
have been a lot of cooks?

- Cause people got--
- One, one cook per wagon

per about 12 guys.

What, what's it called when
you're a helper of the cook?

It's called a Camp Jack.

They used to get guys,
just a guy that, you know

like, kinda liked to,
you know, get him to help.

Okay, can you get that over
there, we'll get some coals.

It's traditional cooking

flavoured with the ingredients
that cowboys had to hand.

Judy's coffee-cooked beef
now gets covered with hot coals.

So that meat

is gonna be safe there,
you'll check it,

what, every hour and a half?

Whenever I feel like it
or like, smell it.

I love it.

- Instinctive stuff.
- Yes.

So how long are you
gonna cook that for, roughly?

About four hours, maybe five.

- Yeah, okay.
- It'll be fine.

The weather's getting worse,

but over at the stadium
some die-hard rodeo fans

are starting to arrive.

Time to crack on
with my side dish

otherwise I'm gonna miss
Tucker on his bucking bronco.

I'm making my version of
the cowboy classic, baked beans.

And most of the country

buys baked beans
in a tin, right?

And I think that
home-made baked beans

is like a home-made burger

or, you know, home-made...
anything kinda comfort-foody

and when you actually do it
and give it a bit of love,

it's so worth it.

Fry up your onions

in a little bit
of oil and butter

with some crushed-up bay leaves.

They do say that out here

you know,
if you don't like the weather

wait ten minutes
and it'll change.

It's been about half an hour,
and it ain't changed.

Tinned tomatoes.

Then add any good white beans
to your tomato sauce

I'm using pinto beans.

I'm gonna give mine a real kick

by adding a mixture
of dried chillies

softened in boiling water
and then chopped up.

Gonna season it with some salt

and then some molasses,
you could use brown sugar

but molasses is
a big American thing out here

it will give it colour

it will give it a sheen

and it will give that kind of
sweet and sourness that we want.

We're building like

a big ballsy kick-ass dish

Thank you.

Heading West on wagons,

the first settlers
were Europeans

and they depended on
the native foods like beans

a staple of the cowboy's diet.

The extra seasoning that
I haven't had is the smoke.

That's gonna be like, give it
that really amazing flavour.

Put the lid on.

Right, I'm gonna
put some coals on top.

Here we go.

Dutch oven cooking

what a pleasure.

What do you reckon,
a couple of hours?

Couple of hours.

Will you look after them for me
and I can go to the rodeo?

Yes, I will.

No one's gonna wanna
stand next to me, though.

I'm gonna smell
like an old bonfire.

Well, they'll, that's,
that's part of the cowboy aroma.

With my beans slowly cooking

I've got the perfect opportunity
to get back to the rodeo

and my first slice
of real cowboy action.

Are you ready for some rodeo?

Rodeo is big business

and these local boys
dream of becoming

one of the few
champion bronc riders.

But it's a dangerous sport
and so competitive

that only a few can make it.

And welcome
to the cradle of champions.

Jamie, you getting on?

No, I'm not
getting on with you, man.

- Come on!
- I've got a wife and three kids.

I bet you

the first one you get on,
the adrenalin rush that you get

will be better than sky-diving

or anything you've ever been on.

Yeah, I don't
wanna sky-dive, either.

If you're gonna be back here,
you gotta look like a cowboy.

All right, brother.

- Try that.
- Nice one.

All right.

Tucker,
how you feeling, brother?

Are you ready for it?

-Oh!

You get a horse bounce in here

just reach down here gently

and talk to him and say 'easy'

like that, and it takes
his mind off the cowboy

and puts it on to you

so it settles him down

so the cowboy can
get all his stuff done.

Right.

Where Tucker's at right now
is the most dangerous place.

That's where 90 percent of
your accidents are gonna happen

inside the chute if they happen.

- Really?
- Because if the horse rears up

and comes back

he can smash you here

or rear up and flip over

and pin you down
in the bottom of the corner--

And then what happens?

Then they have to open the gate

and the horse walks
all over the top of ya.

Oh, great.

The cowboys
keep the bucking horses calm

until it's time
for them to do their thing.

These things are
born and raised to buck.

- They're bred to buck.
- Oh, really?

Yeah, there's
horses that are bred

that you can ride,
for broke horses

and then there's horses
that are bred to buck

there's no, absolutely no way
that you'll ever train 'em.

Dear Heavenly Father,

we ask that you
watch over the cowboys

and be witnessing this rodeo.

The bareback
bronc riders compete first.

Eight guys on eight crazy horses

trying to stay on
for eight seconds.

Are you ready for some rodeo?

The riders
are marked on their position

and how long
they've stayed on for.

Nobody's made the grade so far.

My mate Tucker's up next.

Why would you wanna do this?

I'm like, really,
I'm like really nervous for him.

Be a hero, not a zero.

Left now, left.

Get marked out, brother.

Did you see him getting
thrown all over the place

and his neck just like...

Tough boys, tough boys, man.

Tucker's the winner.

And his prize
for risking his life?

A hundred and twenty dollars.

- Nice one, Tucker.
- Thank you.

So how was that?
You got a full eight seconds?

Yeah. Yeah, it feels a lot
longer when you're out there!

Yeah. To be honest,
it seemed a lot longer for me

- and I was just watching you!
- Yeah.

A win here tonight

means that Tucker
now gets the chance

to go through to the Nationals

where an eight-second ride

could earn him $10,000.

I've seen what
these boys go through

and they're gonna need
some real cowboy food.

Whoo-hoo!

It's so cold!

It was like 80 degrees yesterday
and now it's freezing.

- How's it going?
- It's going good

- you'd better check your beans.
- The rodeo was incredible

all those boys
are completely crazy.

The Dutch ovens
have been stacked up

so that none
of the heat has been lost.

Ah, nice!

Pretty good texture.

What does that look, look
from a cowboy's point of view?

Looks pretty yummy to me.

Come get it,
come get some food, boys!

This is the coffee-cooked beef

that Judy started
five hours ago.

- Thank you.
- Is that moisture?

Look at how juicy that is.

-Delicious.

It's been a long
day and I wasn't even riding

and now I've got
30 hungry cowboys to feed.

You broke four ribs?

Let me give you
an extra portion of meat

as you've broken all those ribs.

Athletes they are,
crazy they are.

But, just

I mean, culturally
really interesting as well.

It's amazing to watch

but you'd never
get me on a bucking bronco.

So tomorrow, I'm heading
into the West that's still wild

to see if I can make it
as a proper working cowboy.

There's something
about the cowboy way

that is almost like
a different country.

It's almost like a, a, like a

Sicily compared to Italy

'We're not Italian,
we're Sicilian, ' you know

it's like, 'We're cowboys, get
that cap off, put that hat on'

and everyone, you know,
and you kinda still think

that people are wearing
these hats and going "yee-ha"

because it's like
a piece of script out of a film

but everyone's
doing it, it's normal life

and even I'm doing it.

In exchange for some cooking

I've been offered the chance
to be a hand on a cattle ranch.

Where I'm heading
hasn't changed for 100 years

and I've been warned

conditions are rough
for man and beast.

I'm heading further
into the wilds of cowboy country

to see if I've got what it takes

to make it
on a working cattle ranch.

And I just can't imagine
what's it's gonna be like

actually being
a real cowboy for a few days

getting on the horse,
got the gear

very exciting, it's like, you
know, it's a bit nerve-wracking.

Feels like
a bit of an adventure.

I'm gonna get
stuck into some hard work

and cook like a cowboy,
whatever the weather.

I've been told
to meet the rancher

at the branding field.

I'm sick of sticking out
like a sore thumb

so I'm gonna get duded up.

This is where
Essex boy turns into a cowboy.

I wish it would just
stop pissing rain.

I'm freezing.

Off with the, into the cowboys.

This is a moment
I never thought would happen.

So I've gotta work out
how to put these on, darling...

Hi, guys.

- Hi.
- Jamie, nice to meet ya.

- Hip.
- Are you Hip?

- Nice to meet you.
- Thanks for having us.

How you doing?

Hip Tillett's family

have been cowboys
for more than a century

and he's the man to impress.

Well, I'd better get myself
some calf wrestlers, I guess.

Yeah.

Calf wrestlers?

Are you gonna
wrestle a few calves?

Well, if you show me I'll,
I'll do my best.

I haven't got a clue what
I'm supposed to be doing.

Hip's a man of few words

so I'm gonna have to learn
on the job.

Branding calves has always
been standard practice

in these Western states.

Right, so what do we do,
get on the back leg?

Okay, Jamie, I'll show ya
how you hold this guy.

Okay.

Sit on your butt like this

just like that.

- Okay.
- Right there.

Yeah.

Hip's got no time to waste.

He's required by law to give
every calf his ranch brand.

Ouch.

Branding is tough,

but I'm told the pain
only lasts for a few minutes.

Good work.

- First one.
- First one.

In six months' time

these calves will be worth
$1,000 apiece.

Branding remains the only way
to stop cattle rustlers.

I see my chance to show Hip
I'm quick off the draw.

There you go, just right.
Just right.

Just as I've got
the hang of wrestling calves

I realize the boys are gonna
have to get castrated as well.

Like all cattle ranchers,

Hip has to make sure
they don't interbreed.

Now that's making me wince.

Getting burnt, earring

injection and balls removed.

Not a good day.

Talk about jump in
at the deep end.

Within five minutes

wrestling calves
that are quite big

castrating bulls

and it stinks
when you brand, it stinks.

Now I've got
my calf wrestling badge,

I'm gonna be sleeping
under canvas

at the cow camp
with the rest of Hip's crew.

Your main man

Hip

look, with a name like Hip

he's gonna be cool, ain't he?

And he's really cool.

Cool, cool guy.

I might do some rodeo tomorrow.

Take your partner by the hand.

Look, as soon as
you put these chaps on

you, have you
ever gone fancy dress

and you put your gear on,
and you just feel

a bit like your character?

I've got my chaps on

and I just sort of feel

as if I wanna like, line dance

and do like the dosey doe
and all that old shit

and I want, I want,
I want a gun, I wanna shoot cans

I wanna do Tin Can Alley,
do you remember that as a kid?

When I walk off,
the outfit that I've got on

is making me walk like this,
and I'm not doing it on purpose.

Yeah!

See, that was it.

Wouldn't do that
at home, would I?

Now I've got me cowboy swagger,

I'm hoping Hip's impressed
with me cooking.

Just skin 'em and...

It's chucking it down again,

but we've got to eat.

A good cowboy never lets
anything go to waste,

so Hip's making
a Wyoming special.

The Rocky Mountain oysters.

The calves' balls, right?

Look at 'em!

It looks like...

Strawberry Jell-O.

Yeah, do you, strawberry Jell-O?

You just, knock both ends off

Let me see,
I can't see properly.

With a good, sharp knife, you

then it's just
kinda like flaying a fish.

That's quite a big ball.

- Some are bigger than others.
- Yeah, that's life, innit?

Hip coats
the Rocky Mountain Oysters

in flour, and then
just deep fries them

for a couple of minutes.

They're looking good.

You know, they're
looking not too bad.

- They do look really tasty now.
- Yeah, they're pretty crispy

and I think they
should be really nice.

- Go for a small one first?
- Yeah.

And then, can I just
try one without anything?

- Yeah.
- To, to start with.

- Oh, it's delicious.
- Oh yeah.

Rocky Mountain Oysters

it reminds me of scampi

as a child.

- Just a, can I have another one?
- Sure?

Can't believe I'm
enthusiastic about

eating someone else's balls.

So wrong, but so right.

- Thanks, mate.
- Oh, you bet.

Not bad for starters,

but my balls are gonna be bigger

even though
they're not the real deal.

Plain minced beef with
a cheesy surprise in the middle.

To go with my meatballs,

I'm frying up some
onions, peppers and garlic,

which is gonna be
the base for my kick-ass sauce

and it's gonna warm us right up.

I'm adding ketchup,

Worcestershire sauce,
and a big dollop of mustard.

Do cowboys like spice?

This is your moment
of truth, to decide.

Oh yeah, I think,
I think a little more

maybe in there somewhere.

That's about
five tablespoons of chilli sauce

I'm a six boy myself,
but five is still good.

Inspired by the story
of the original settlers,

I'm gonna stick it all
in a Dutch oven

and put it on the fire.

Yeah, that's what we want.

Yes.

Proper old-school.

I hope we've got
enough food here for

about another
four cowboys, you know.

I don't know, I'm pretty hungry.

Yeah, that does actually look

like cowboy food, don't it?

Oh, that looks great.

There we go, mate.

- Look at that.
- Really nice.

- Do you like it, mate?
- Yep.

That's the main thing.

It's after midnight

and everything's soaked through.

Away from the fire,
it's freezing

so I'm in no hurry
to get in my tent.

This is the worst summer rain

they've had in 15 years.

Later today, Hip's
heading up the mountain

and I've persuaded him to
let me come along as Camp Jack.

Miserable day, again.

So depressing.

It's like
the Lake District, really.

Rain just makes everything
miserable, doesn't it?

Have you seen my world?

Spring-loaded bed, a mattress

what more do you want?

It's only half six,

so I'm gonna improvise a stove

to cook my very own
cowboy breakfast on.

Look at my hat.

It looks like it's being milked
for some reason.

Maybe it's a sign.

Look.

You kind of have to be

a bit filthy

to be a cowboy.

And certainly, I think

at the extreme side

of being a cowboy

food was just fuel.

All I've heard for
three days, is that noise.

Right, here we go.

Right.

I think, being a cowboy

I think probably
95 percent of their life

is about making do.

Sort of like wily ingenious

in their ways of
cooking in different ways.

Yet...

constantly at
some sort of jeopardy

or form of famine,
possibly, you know.

Really interesting.

I'm so tired and
exhausted from yesterday

I actually feel like I'm putting
food in my mouth, and it's...

I can immediately
feel me feeling better.

A bit grumpy before.

Hip's not gonna be
bothered by a bit of rain.

He's got to round up
some missing cows

up on the mountain.

With such a valuable herd

I can't just be a spare part.

Come on, Jamie, you're late!

- All right.
- Is this proper lassoing, yeah?

Yeah.

Hold the end like that.

- Yeah, I got it.
- There you go.

-All right.

- Which one?
- See that one by the fence?

Yeah, yeah.

To ride out with Hip today,

I'll have to prove
that I can handle a horse.

But first, I've got to catch it.

Covered in shit.

All right.

That's the one, is it?

Is that the one?

That's not quite
the same, though, is it?

There you go.

Not quite the cowboy style
I was looking for.

My lassoing skills
leave something to be desired,

but I remember the way to
a man's heart is his stomach.

Well, I'm not gonna tell Hip

but secretly

I'm slightly shitting myself

because

I am led to believe

that there is mountain lions

there's rattlesnakes

and there's bears.

So

that rifle is
definitely coming with us.

He, he probably wouldn't take it

'cause he's like, tough,
and he... but I'm not.

Right, there you go.
Got all me stuff.

That's basically
what I think we may be...

A couple of apples and stuff.

I can't wait
to show Hip the goodies

that I snuck in
when I arrived yesterday.

This is the stash
for tonight, steak

potatoes, some eggs

two plates, two sets of cutlery

bit of beef jerky

coffee pot, mugs.

Jamie, I think we're
over-packing, don't you think?

I, I wouldn't have a clue, mate.

Well, you know what?

Shall we go through this and

- You tell--
- pick out the good stuff--

Okay, well, you're not gonna
wanna go without meat, are you?

No, we gotta have the meat.

- All right.
- And, eggs

we can probably get by without.

Really?

- Okay.
- And potatoes, probably.

- Take?
- No, well

let's leave those things.

- Leave 'em out?
- Oh yeah.

Okay.

Plates, you wanna
eat off of a plate, surely?

- No?
- No, I think, I think

we don't want all that tin
banging around, do we?

Okay. Knife and fork?

- No, no.
- Jesus...

- I need a--
- Have you got a pocket knife?

- I got a pocket knife, yeah.
- There you go, there you go.

What's this?

Some asparagus that I've got,
got from the other day.

Do you have to have it, or do we
not really have to have it?

- You don't have to have it.
- All right.

- Let's not take it.
- Think of, think of your bowels

it'll be great.

Oh yeah, it'll make you regular.

-Seven o'clock every day.

I'm just,
thinking about me mother.

- Oh yeah.
- Greens or no greens?

Greens, no.

Okay.

- Don't forget your water.
- Okay.

I'll get this stuff

over on my little bench
to pack away.

I'm gonna take the eggs.

I'll surprise him with 'em.

I'm gonna load me pockets up.

I'm still gonna,
I'm still gonna take my eggs.

He'll be pleased in the morning.

Right, asparagus.

All right.

You got the gun, mate?

Yep, we're ready to roll.

Yeah!

Finally.
My Brokeback Mountain moment.

--Me and the cowboy

heading out
to sleep under the stars.

Five hours later,
and 4,000 feet up

my riding style
might be a bit agricultural

but I'm hanging in there.

Camped out a bit,
but nothing like this, mate.

Looking forward to it.

As long as it don't rain.

- Excited.
- Oh, right, me too.

Why don't I take care
of the horses, get them

tethered up down here, and...

We're camping
near where Hip thinks

we'll find the stray cows.

It's half seven already

and I'm here as Camp Jack

so I'd better
start earning my keep.

Smell good.

- Did we bring any beers?
- Well, I'll tell you what--

Have you brought some brandy?

- Whiskey?
- Try some of this.

This'll help you out.

- What's in it?
- Viagra.

Kerosene.

I might have
a shot of that myself.

Oh.

Delicious.

Are we actually
sleeping on the floor?

-Yep.

My mom always said that
if you sleep on the floor

and it's cold, that it'd
give you haemorrhoids.

It turns out
things will be a bit

more luxurious than I thought.

We've got a bit
of old canvas to sleep on.

And if it
starts to piss with rain

then we can put
the other half on top of us?

Yes, that's right,
just fold it right over.

That makes it,
that makes it quite cosy...

Hip.

Too cosy.
Let's just hope it don't rain.

Well, you got the gun, mate.

Speaking of the gun

do you know how to hold
the gun in case we have a

you know
there's a few bear around.

How many rounds
do you get in it?

I think about six.

- Can I have a go?
- Yeah.

Just so, 'cause I don't
wanna be one of those geeks

that if you get eaten

and then the bear's
looking at me and I go, click.

This one's good.

Okay.

- Let's go for it.
- All right.

Have you ever
had to shoot at bears?

- Had to shoot one bad bear.
- Okay.

And, I only,
I shoulda killed him

I only shot him in the paw

and I shoulda killed him.

Didn't that make him more angry?

Well, I'm sure if I hadn't had

three people,
two minutes behind me

he would have, I would
have been his next lunch.

- Are you being serious?
- Yeah. Uh-uh.

High. Pull
a little.

-High.

-There you go.

If that was a bear I would
have hit it first time.

- Okay.
- If not, you would have got it

the third time.

It drops below freezing at night

so time for
a firelight dinner for two.

Why would bears attack you?

Oh, it could be just
that there's an old bear

that is, is thin and, and

slowly dying of starvation,
he's gonna, he's gonna...

- Eat anything?
- Attack anything he can find.

Do you think they prefer
English meat or American meat?

I hope to hell
they prefer English.

Yeah.

It's a big old hunk
of meat you've got there, bro.

Yeah, it's gonna be nice.

- So you want lumps, basically?
- Yeah.

Get some.

I hope
the bears don't smell this.

I feel like I wanna cook
a piece of steak on a rock.

I've put a rock in there,
sort of on purpose.

Well, go ahead and try it.

I'll do this
in the fall time when I'm riding

and not gonna get home,
or something like that,

and I have a bit
of steak or something

and I don't wanna pack
a frying pan.

I know you told me
not to bring them earlier

but

out of my jacket
I've got this bag of...

don't knock it
until you've tried it, brother.

You know what?

I love it.

I thought, "God, he's being
so strict."

You know you told me
not to bring a plate.

- Yeah?
- I brought a plate, too.

You ready
to try some of this, Hip?

Yep.

How is it, Hip?

It's excellent.

It's not bad
for cooking in the dark.

I must admit I've never cooked--

It's almost
cooking with nothing.

- Yep.
- And it's excellent.

This is cosy,
but three's a crowd,

so I just hope
the bear doesn't join us.

Careful. No.

Oh, that's good.

Finally, I'm waking up
like a real cowboy.

And thanks to Hip's brandy,
it was a late one.

Well...

it was a good night last night.

Me and Hip
ended up getting a bit

drunk

well, I was a bit tipsy

he was a bit drunk

he fell over twice,
once in the fire.

But

it was so cold

it was so cold

but what was amazing is

I put all of my clothes on

got in my sleeping bag

and I had a little brainwave

and it worked.

Do you remember the hot rock
I cooked the steak on?

Well...

I took it
out of the fire for about

three minutes

and then I put
three of these in my

sleeping bag.

After four days

of pissing down with rain,
feels like

saving the best till last,
really.

It was chilly
last night, wasn't it?

It was a bit...

It was a bit chilly.

Hip's struggling now, not me.

But once he's
finally got his boots on

he's straight
back in the saddle.

It's time for me to
earn my spurs as a cowboy

and round up those missing cows.

I helped round up
32 lost cattle today.

That's over 30,000
dollars' worth.

Not bad for a morning's work.

To actually come here and do it

and be part of it

and say, I really did it

and not,
not for fun, and not like

as a toy or some sort of luxury

place, like, you know,
did it, did it, you know

I've ranched cows before.

I can do it, I know what to say

I know what the calls are.

I can ride a horse

I've branded a cow.

You know, blah blah blah.

I've even cooked
the meat from the cows

that came from the ranch.
Brilliant.

I couldn't leave without cooking

the cowboy's favourite,
chillies.

In a Dutch oven, over the fire

with the magic ingredients,
wood and smoke.

Right. Oil goes in.

It's screaming hot,
as you can see.

In with the onions,
garlic, cinnamon and paprika

and a few extra chillies

for Hip and the boys.

Look at that.

Next in, just a little sugar

and some tinned tomatoes

and as a nod to Judy
and the chuck wagon cooks

I'm using coffee
as an extra flavour.

And of course, as I learnt
from the rodeo boys

it's gotta be beef.

Two kilo of brisket.

This trip for me was
about getting my head around

cowboys.

The cowboy life.

What is it, does it still exist?

It did help me to understand

sort of their lifestyle

what their ancestors
must have gone through...

it definitely helped me
to understand their cooking

because, you know,
first and foremost

cowboy cooking

is about

you know

nourishing and power-food.

Two and a half hours
of gentle simmering

and the Dutch oven's
done its job.

Some peppers
and some kidney beans

and my cowboy chilli
is nearly done.

Right, you lovely people.

Dinner's ready!

Tuck in, don't be English.

Is it all right, darling?

Yeah!

What a week.

I thought throwing calves
was definitely the hardest.

Yeah.

I got stuck in, is

not bad for an Essex boy?

No.

I'm leaving cowboy country

with a new sense
of what defines America.

Well, I, I was, I was sleeping
with the pistol on my chest,

and Loretta, she goes,

"Brett, I think
there's a bear down there.

I think there's a bear."

And I looked down

and my head was about
this far from the critter.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I don't know, you guys,
you put up with these

I would be home.

I don't hang around bears.

Really, really nice people.

Couldn't be nicer,
couldn't, you know.

Wanna help me more, really.

Hip has a really interesting way
of teaching you as well.

He kinda doesn't say anything,
he just gives you little

little pokes every now and again

he kinda lets you get on with it

which is quite a nice way
to learn to do things, really.

Yeah, girls--

Well, I think
we were laying there--

If I said to my wife,
"Just go to sleep.

I'll sit there with the gun."

She'd start saying,
"I don't trust you."

"You never do what I tell you."

Some of it's been
quite knackering,

but really good laugh.

Quite, quite fulfilling.