Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 5, Episode 4 - Dragon Scouts - full transcript

Jackie chan: Thank you for
allowing me to ride with you.

The museum asked
that I help ensure

that the golden squid
is unloaded safely.

Driver: Hey,
I appreciate the company.

You wouldn't believe
how dull this job is.

(Helicopter approaching)

Driver: Wh-what do I do?!

Do... do I pull over?!

Jackie: No! Keep driving!
Radio the police!

Jackie: Oof!

Jackie: Waa!



Mu-ahh! Hah!

Unh! Whoa!

(Weapon sputtering)

Jackie: High heat
and rubber soles

make for a sticky situation.

Thieves: Huh? (Crunching)

Jackie: When we arrive
at the police station,

you will be... wha?!

Capt. Black: Just got word about
the attempted hijacking, Jackie.

Jackie: Captain black?
But how...

Capt. Black: You know section 13
monitors all police transmissions.

Can you I.D. The perps?

Jackie: Well,
at first I suspected the enforcers,

but they were sent
to prison last month.



Capt.
Black: And released 3 days ago.

Court ordered them to serve
out the rest of their sentences

doing community service.

Jackie: If they are
back to their old ways,

the community does not
need that kind of service.

Capt. Black: Enforcers
can't be reincarcerated

without proof of
criminal activity,

but you catch 'em red-handed

and I'll see to it that they're
put away for a long, long time.

Jackie: Jade,
what are you doing?

Those clothes are being
donated to charity,

and that is your
buttercup scout uniform.

Jade chan: I know.
I quit the buttercups.

Jackie: Wha? Why?

Jade: Quilt-making,
cookie-selling, hello?

If I wanted to be
bored out of my gourd,

I could just hang here
with you and uncle.

Uncle chan: You want excitement,

sweep up shop.

Jackie: Ohh! But scouting provides
a valuable experience, Jade.

You mustn't quit.

Jade: So who said anything
about quitting scouting?

I joined the dragon scouts.

Jackie: But the dragon
scouts are all boys.

Jade: Were.

Welcome to the new millennium

where girls are hot
and boys are not.

I am dragon. Hear me roar!

The dragons are meeting tonight
at my school, uncle Jackie.

Jackie: Jade, what did you do?

Jackie: Uh, friends of yours?

Jade: Nope.
Something about them seems...

Familiar, though.

You gotta turn that in at
the principal's office.

Jackie: Fine.
I will see you in the hallway

after your meeting.

(Banging)

Finn: Come on, come on.

Ratso: Not you.

Jackie: You failed to
hijack the antiquities,

so now you're robbing
school lockers?

Chow: What's he talkin' about?

Jackie: May I have a look?

Finn: Last time I checked,
you ain't the hall monitor,

so take a hike, chan.

Jackie: Perhaps you
have something to hide.

Chow: Perhaps you
don't hear so good.

Jackie: I do not
want to fight you...

At school.

Finn: Too bad,
'cause here comes today's lesson.

Jackie: Ow!

Dragon leader: What in Sam hill

is going on here?!

Finn: Uh...

Bucket turned over.

Dragon leader: Looks
more like horseplay,

and horseplay
undermines discipline.

A fine example you're setting

for your boy, Mr. Finn.

Jackie: Boy? You have a boy?

Finn: My nephew.

Chow: Mine, too.

Ratso: My sister's kid,
visitin' for the Summer.

Frank: Frank.

Charley: Charley.

Rocko: Uh, rocko.

Dragon leader: All
right, dragons,

store your gear, on the double.

Jackie: Why were you
breaking in to that locker?

Finn: We weren't, Mr. nosy.

We're doin' community
service here.

Part of the deal for gettin'
out of the joint early.

Jackie: Oh!
Oh, you are janitors.

Chow: Hey! Custodial engineers.

Finn: Ot-nay in front
of the ephews-nay.

Finn: Look, chan,
whole reason we want the kids to be scouts

is to learn good values.

Ratso: So they don't end up
bums, like us.

Rocko: Ha ha ha!
You're funny, uncle ratso.

Charley: Yeah,
seein' how you guys own,

like, the biggest
import-export business

on the west coast.

Chow: Heh. Yeah, well, you know,

we ain't ones to brag.

Jackie: Who would've
guessed that the enforcers

would have such nice nephews?

Jade: Nice? Jackie!

Those three have "crooked"
written all over 'em!

But don't worry.
I'm all over it.

I'll be your eyes and ears,

find out what
they're cookin' up.

Jackie: Jade,
we must not prejudge.

Sometimes the apple
falls far from the tree.

Jade: And hits the
ground and turns rotten.

Jade: Gotta go with
my gut on this one.

Something about those
nephews isn't right,

and I'll prove it.

Just need a little backup.

Capt. Black: Jade?

Jade: Hello, old friend!

Cock-a-doodle how-do-you do?

(Jackie yawns)

Jackie: Jade?
Where are you heading?

Jade: Dragon scouts
meeting, Jackie.

Going for my first merit badge.

Jackie: Oh.
So, what will you be doing?

Some sort of arts
and crafts project?

Jade: Crafts? Get real, Jackie.

Dragon leader promised it'd
be something in the wild.

Probably an intense survival
program in the jungle

surrounded by
bloodthirsty creatures!

Gotta be kidding me.

This is what he calls
being "in the wild"?

Dragon leader: All
right, dragon scouts,

your first merit badge
will be in nature studies,

and today we'll
be bird-watching.

Jade: Bird-watching?

Dragon leader:
Present dragon scopes,

front and center.

Dragon leader: Outstanding.

You have 60 minutes.

Notate all sightings
in your logbooks.

I will be spot-checking,

and the zoo area is off limits!
Fall out!

Jade: Ice cream
heist at 10 o'clock.

Frank: You got a problem?

We're tryin' to bird-watch here.

Charley: Yeah.
We been scopin' out a pigeon.

Rocko: Pretty pigeon.

Jade: Not on my watch.

Frank: Oh, I get it.

She can't cut it solo,

so she's tryin' to tag along.

Jade: As if!

Charley: She's a wannabe,
same as her uncle.

Jade: Uh, reality check?

My uncle's a wannabe?

Charley: Uh, yeah.

We got the 411 how
your unc is bunk.

Rocko: Ha ha ha!
Unc is bunk. Ha ha ha!

Charley: He can't
even hold down a job.

Frank: Heh heh heh.
Wishes he was big-time

like our uncles.

Charley: Which is why he's
always followin' them around.

Nephews: Loser!

Jade: Hey, the only reason
Jackie's always tailing your uncles

is because they're
low-life crooks.

Rocko: Take it back!

Jade: Bring it on, tiny.

Rocko: Whoa... unh!

Jade: Who's the l-word now?

Frank: Uh, Jade,

a little advice...

Jade: What's that supposed to...
hey!

Nephews: 3-way keep-away!
Ha ha ha!

Jade: You just bought
yourselves a world of hurt!

Give that back!

(Jade sniffs)

Jade: Ohh! Yuck.

Serious stank.

(Bear growls)

Jade: Got it. Your pad, my bad.

Jade: Ohh!

(Bear roars)

Jade: Bad day, bad day, bad day!

Frank: Oh, man,
we gotta help her!

Charley: How?

Rocko: Uh, I got nothin'.

Frank: That jump was freaky.

Charley: Freaky on a stick.

How do you get that
kind of hang time?

Jade: Um, aerobics?

Rocko: Ha ha.
She was pretty gutsy with that Bear.

Not like before, when she's all,

(high-pitched voice)
"I want my cap back."

Charley, high-pitched voice: I want
my cap back! Give me my cap back!

Frank: Please, oh, please!

Nephews: Ha ha ha!

Jade: You are so asking
to get your butts kicked.

Dragon leader:
Dragon scout Jade!

You disobeyed a
direct dragon order

to stay clear of the zoo,

and now I see you displaying
aggressive behavior

towards your fellow scouts.

Frank: Yeah. Dragon scout Jade

definitely needs an
attitude adjustment.

Charley: Oh, she's a bad egg.

Rocko: I like eggs... Over easy.

Jade: But they...

Dragon leader: No merit badge.

Jade: Ohh!

Finn: Well, what do you know?

Don't you ever get tired
of tailing us, chan?

Jackie: Uh, actually, yes,

but that is not why I am here.

I guess the dragon leader
called you in, too.

My niece and your
nephews, fighting.

Ratso: We came to
pick up our uniforms.

Jackie: Uniform?

Dragon leader: Volunteering
to be dragon daddies.

Outstanding.

No wonder your nephews
are such fine young men.

On the other hand...

Fall in behind me, Mr. chan.

We need to discuss
Jade's behavior.

Chow: Heh. If you need
some parenting tips, chan,

I'm here for ya.

Enforcers: Ha ha ha!

Jackie: And the dragon
leader warned me,

any more of this
type of behavior,

you will be kicked out.

So, please,

behave yourself on this
weekend's dragon adventure.

Jade: We're having
a dragon adventure?

It's gonna be something cool!

Extreme go-kart racing?

Mountain climbing?

Jackie: The museum.

Jade: I quit the
buttercups for this?

Jackie: The museum has just
opened its far east exhibit.

I do not like this one bit.

Jade: You and me both. Bor-ing!

Jackie: I suspect
the golden squid

is the reason the enforcers

volunteered to be
dragon daddies.

Jade: I get it.

A dragon adventure,

the perfect cover for a heist.

Jackie: Perhaps,
which is why I am coming along.

Jade: Good thinking.

I'll keep an eye.
On frank, Rocco, and Charley

while you...
You're a dragon daddy?!

Jackie: Yes... ohh!

And you are levitating!

You have the rooster talisman!

Jade: Well... heh heh. I...

Please, uncle Jackie,
let me take it to the museum.

If the enforcers try
to pull anything...

Uncle: Eye-yah!
Magic is not to be trifled with!

Jackie: Hand over the
talisman, ja... ow!

Uncle: As long as
you are up there,

clean cobwebs from ceiling.

Curator: Welcome, dragon scouts.

You are about to see the finest
collection of far east antiquities

ever assembled in the
northern hemisphere,

and the centerpiece
of our collection

is the exquisite.
3,000year-old golden squid.

Priceless.

Finn: Priceless is
my favorite number.

Frank: Sweet.

Charley: Boo-bama.

Rocko: Pretty.

Jade: don't even think about it.

Jackie: Why are you
leaving your group?

Finn: Potty break, ok?

Jackie: All three
at the same time?

Dragon scouts, gasping: Hey!
What's going on?!

Dragon leader: As you
were, dragons.

Remain calm.

Curator: Just a power outage.

(Generator hums)

Dragon scouts, gasping: Huh?
What happened? What?

Jackie: What has happened?!

Curator: The golden squid...

It's been stolen!

The culprits may still
be on the premises.

Evacuate the children!

Jackie: I agree.

Dragon leader: All
right, dragons,

single file in double time.
Move out!

Jackie: Stop!

Jackie: I have caught
you red-handed with...

Toilet paper?

Ratso: We're
runnin' low at home.

Chow: Whatcha gonna do,

call the potty patrol?

Jackie: But if you didn't
steal the golden squid,

then who?

Jade: Yes!

I am good.

Frank: Oh, that's my locker!

Charley: Back away,
or you're gonna pay!

Jade: You three are so busted.

Frank: Heh heh heh.
Pretty lame, Jade.

You swiped that thing and
planted it in my locker.

Jade: Ooh, good cover story.

Not! What kind of
criminals are you?

Man: Oh,
they're not criminals...

But we are.

Jade: It's the museum curator!

Charley: Ohh,
didn't see that coming.

Frank: Inside job.

Rocko: Yeah!

Inside where?

Curator: Heh heh heh.

I'll take that.

Jade: Guess again.

Jade to frank!

Frank: Frank to rocko!

Finn: Uhh! Hey, watch the hair!

Community service stinks.

Chow: No kidding.
- I make holes. He fills holes.

Finn: Boys,
I think our ship just came in.

Chow: Hey,
he's got the golden squid!

Finn: I stand corrected.

Community service
does have its rewards.

Curator: Ohh!

Finn: Mm-wah.

Gentlemen, the only street
we're gonna be working

from now on is easy street.

Ratso: Ohh!
Why can't we ever win?

Jackie: Heh heh heh.
I came to apologize

for falsely accusing
you of stealing the...

Jackie: The golden squid!

You did steal it!

Finn: Not exactly,
but it's ours now.

Ratso: Got it off the real
thief fair and square.

Jackie: It is museum property.

Jackie: Whoa!

Oof! Bad day!

Bad day! Bad day!

Jackie: Think of it this way.

You have not lost a statue,

you have become a statue.

Finn: Um, chan, please,

uh, don't tell the
kids about this.

Chow: Yeah.
- It'd break their hearts.

Ratso: They think
we're, you know...

Jackie: Successful
import-exporters?

I will spare them the truth.

Finn: Thanks. Who knows?

Maybe someday we can
redeem ourselves,

become the upstanding,
law-abiding citizens

they think we are.

Finn: Nah.

Chow and ratso: No way.
I don't think so.

Finn: Scary thought.

Ratso: Be laughin'
if I could breathe.

Capt. Black: The
curator and his lackeys

are in custody, Jackie.

Turns out he's a con
artist named Michael Diaz.

Has a rap sheet long as my arm.

Finn: Yeah, so,
we're gonna take a ride with,

uh, our associate
Mr. black to the airport.

Ratso: Gonna be goin'
away for a while...

Chow: To the far east.

Big business deal brewin'.

Sorry, kids.

That's the, uh,
import-export business for ya.

Frank: We'll come visit
again next Summer.

Finn: Terrific.
We should be out...

Er, uh, back by then.

Frank: Take it easy, uncle Finn.

Charley: Ciao, uncle chow.

Rocko: Later, uncle ratso.
Thanks for everything.

Nephews: Bye, now! See ya soon!

Jackie: I do not encourage
lying, Jade,

but there is no need
to tell the young men

that their uncles
are going to prison.

Jade: Hey, uncle Jackie,

better not let the dragon leader

catch you out of uniform.

Nephews and Jade: 4-way keep-away!
Ha ha ha!

Jackie: Give me that back.

This is not funny!

It is very disrespectful!

Jane: Hey Jackie, do you have any
bad jobs before you became an actor?

Jackie: After the 10 years
in a martial arts school,

I went to Australia.

I do a construction worker,

clean the, uh, building...

Cement...

Paint the wall...

At night, I doing, uh,

kitchen, uh,

learn how to cook.

Um,
I don't think it's a bad job.

If I'm continue to learn this,

I'm becoming like
a professional.

There's no bad job.