Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 5, Episode 3 - Black and White and Chi All Over - full transcript
Drago recruits some new henchmen for his quest. Two demon chis are activated, spoiling Jade's birthday
Drago: You look tired.
Why don't you knock off early?
Agent: Ooh!
Drago: Now that's what
I'm talkin' about!
Demon chi...
And all for me.
Jackie chan, yawning: Oh, Jade,
what are you doing out of...
aah!
Drago!
Drago: Did I wake
you, sleepyhead?
So sorry!
Jade chan: Hey, Jackie,
what are you doing out of...
Wha... drago!
(Jackie and Jade grunt)
Jade: Ok, jackienator...
You go left, I'll go right,
and we'll catch drago...
Jackie: Jade, you stay here.
Jade: You can't go
in without backup!
Jackie: Hyah! Hut! Haut!
Have you come to section
13 to turn yourself in?
Drago: In your dreams, chan.
Jackie: Uhh!
Uhh!
Drago: I'm here to
throw a little barbecue.
(Alarm blares) Huh?
Black: You're surrounded, drago.
Game's over.
Drago: Over?
I'm just gettin' warmed up.
Jade: Call me crazy, but I'm thinking
it's time for a security upgrade.
Drago: Raaahh!
Surrounded!
Outnumbered!
Maybe I shouldn't
have gone solo.
But I will not repeat your
mistakes, father!
I will find the biggest,
baddest henchmen in the world
and fulfill my destiny.
(Jade yawns)
Jade: (Gasp) It's my birthday!
Yes!
(Loud yawn)
Oh... There you are!
What's everybody doing?
Black: Is the chi
containment unit stable?
Uncle chan: You want
demon chi kept safe? Yes?
Then let uncle work
without lookie-loos!
Jade: Hello!
Anybody wanna say something?
Tohru: Good morning, Jade.
Jade: Is that... All?
Don't you know what today is?
Uncle: Hot cha!
Very important day!
Day for uncle's hair cut!
Jade: Aw, come on!
You know it's my birthday.
Now, for breakfast,
I want chocolate chip pancakes
with whipped cream and
strawberries and...
Jackie: I'm sorry, Jade.
Things are a little busy
around section 13 this morning.
We will have to celebrate
your birthday later.
Jade: What?! How much later?
Jackie: Ehh... Just be patient.
Jade: Oh...
Drago, quietly: Next.
(Whipping sounds)
Next.
Next!
Punchy: Duh! Get away! Get away!
Drago: Raaah!
You are all pathetic!
I'm looking for henchmen...
Bone-crushing,
skull-caving henchmen!
I can't believe I'm gonna
say this out loud, but...
I never should have
fired the enforcers.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, dude.
You seen the rest.
Now eyeball the best!
Punchy: Duh!
Henchman: Uhh!
(Buzz) (Smash)
Strikemaster ice: So
we got the gig or what?
Drago: What's your name?
Strikemaster ice: They
call me strikemaster ice.
This here's my crew... dj fist,
and mc cobra.
Yo, gecko-boy be buggin'!
Drago: It's near.
Let's go.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, hold up, dog.
Now, we don't work for free.
You want our services,
you gots to show some green!
Yizzle!
Drago: You each now have a small
piece of my fire demon power...
Dragon speed...
Dragon strength...
And dragon breath.
Strikemaster ice: That'll work!
Drago: You're on the clock now
and we have demon chi to claim.
Uncle: The containment
unit is unharmed.
Demon chi cannot escape.
Black: I'm installing
heat and motion sensors
to make sure our fire-breathing
friend can't pay another visit.
Jade: All right, then. Let's get
Jade's birthday train back on track.
Hmm... What's first,
lunch at pizza burger?
Or maybe I should
open my presents!
Tohru: (Giggles)
I love birthdays.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
Demon chi has been activated!
Jade: No way.
Not on my birthday!
Uncle: Dai gui, the earth demon.
Tohru: The flower
of the immortals.
The demon chi is trapped within.
Jackie: The coronado
bridge in San Diego!
I am sorry, Jade.
Your birthday celebration will
have to wait just a little longer.
Jade: That's ok.
We can party in San Diego!
Jackie: Uh...
It's too dangerous.
You will stay here.
Jade: That's not right.
You can't dis the birthday girl.
Uncle: Demon chi is very close.
Jackie: Then all we have
to do is find the...
Flower.
Jade: Hey, Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Uncle: Demon chi
is in this room.
Florist: Ahem! May I help you?
Jackie: Uh,
it's a flower freshness detector.
My uncle is very picky.
Drago: So am I. I want a flower
that smells like demon chi.
(All gasp)
Tohru: Drago.
Jackie: And... Strikemaster ice?
Jade: Hey,
pizza-face got a drago makeover!
Strikemaster ice: Yo dog, you didn't say
nothin' about puttin' the hurt on chan.
First day on the job and
we're already gettin' a bonus.
(Attack cries and grunting)
Drago: Chi loves me...
Chi loves me not.
Jade: (Gasps) Hurry, uncle!
Jackie: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Yo, start pickin'
out flowers, chan, for your funer...
Ah-ah-ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you?
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Whoo! Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
Jackie: You must be allergic.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you.
(Flower pots crashing)
Jackie: Bless you.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Uncle: No, no.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Uncle: No... No...
Uncle: Hot cha!
Drago: For me?
You shouldn't have.
Jade: Hee-yah!
I picked this for you.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Tohru: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Ah...
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uhh!
Florist: My hydrangeas!
Uncle: Jackie, pay nice man.
Jade: Now that we
have the flower power,
it's time to party down!
I'm still the birthday
girl for 10 more hours.
Jackie: We'll be back home in
time for a big birthday dinner.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
Jackie: Huh?
Jade: Oh, no!
Uncle: Moon demon tso LAN?
Lotus pod?
One more chi is nearby!
Turn car around!
Tohru: 2 demon chi
powers on the same day?
Jade: Figures.
Tohru: I'm sorry, Jade.
You know we would all prefer
to celebrate your birthday.
Jade: (Sighs) Whatever.
Drago: Was that a
joke back there?
Did I hire clowns?
I give you powers beyond
your wildest imagination
and you amateurs can't
get past an archaeologist,
a tub of guts, an old
man, and a little girl?!
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
he's buggin' again!
Drago: You three are about
to get a second chance.
Tohru: I know it isn't
much, but happy birthday.
Jade: Oh, thanks, t.
Uncle: Moon demon chi is there!
(Drago growls and Jackie,
Jade, uncle, and tohru gasp)
Jackie: Jade, stay here.
Jade: Oh!
Drago: Smells like chi spirit.
Jade: Step away
from the lotus pod!
Jackie: Jade!
Jade: I'm your backup, remember?
Tohru: The demon chi stays.
You go.
Drago: We'll see about that.
What? It was here a second ago.
Uncle: Moon demon chi...
Control over gravity.
(Drago snarls)
Jade: Uncle,
let's bring the "floater"
back down to earth.
Tohru: Uhh!
Uhh!
Ooh!
Jade: Hey, boy, come over here!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Mmm! Cotton candy!
Yummy in your tummy!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee...
Jade: No hitchhiking!
Drago: I'll come
back for you later.
Jackie: Whoooooa!
Uhh!
Tohru: Uh... Whoops.
Jackie: Which way did they go?
Bwaa!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad... bad day!
Jade: Uncle!
Uncle: Leave Chinese Bear alone!
(Fist, cobra, ice,
and drago scream)
(Seals clapping)
Jackie: Nice panda, come to...
Wh-whooaaa!
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Whooaaa... oof!
Good catch, tohru.
Jade: Step on it, t!
Jackie: don't worry,
we'll bring it back later! Thank you!
Jade: Whoa!
The panda's going all moony.
Uncle: Panda will return to normal
once the demon chi is removed.
Jade: Hey, boy, trade ya!
Cotton candy for
that yucky demon chi!
Uncle and tohru: Yu-mo-
gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Yes! And now it's time
for Jade's birthday bash!
Uncle: Uncle was afraid of this.
Tohru: Sensei?
Uncle: Chi-o-matic can only
hold one power at a time!
Drago: Fore!
Now that is some
serious hang time!
Uncle: Jackie!
Drago must not obtain earth demon chi!
You must become living vessel.
Jade: Ooh! Ooh!
Let me be the living vessel!
I can handle it.
I have experience.
Come on, it's my birthday!
Drago: It's a 2-for-1 special.
Noooooo!
Jackie: Ooh, tingly.
Uncle: Jackie!
Do not let drago touch you!
He will try to drain demon chi!
Drago: Oh,
I won't just touch you, chan.
I'll rip you apart!
Jackie: Did I do that?
Uncle: Of course!
Why do you think it is
called earth demon chi?
Jade: You dine with the t,
you get a helping of the j.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, shortstop,
why don't you let the
grown-ups handle this, a-ight?
Jade: Afraid I'll
whoop your butts again?
Strikemaster ice: You got the
crust, little lady.
Let's see if you got the sauce.
Whoa!
Drago: Hey, chan... Catch!
(Jackie coughs)
Jackie: Uncle!
Have you fixed the chi-o-matic?
Uncle: Do not rush uncle!
Drago: Fire in the hole!
Jackie: Aah!
Drago: All that digging must
have made you thirsty, chan.
How about a little juice?
Tingly.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
(Rumbling and crackling)
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
ice gonna bring the heat!
Jade: And this is for
ruining my birthday!
Hee-yah!
Come on, yin-Yang,
let's get you home.
(Footsteps)
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
d, a little hizzle?
(Drago roars)
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Black: 4 down, 4 to go.
Jackie: And someone is still the
birthday girl for 4 more minutes.
(Jade snoring)
Jackie: Shh. She is sleeping.
Jade: Hey Jackie, is there a yin
and Yang to your personality?
Jackie: Yin-Yang.
I think everybody have a yin-Yang.
Yin-Yang.
Sometimes I feel I'm very strong,
but sometimes I do
feel I'm very weak.
In my body, the Yang always
want to beat the ying.
Sometimes when
I'm doing a stunt,
this side tell me, "dangerous,"
but another side tell
me, "no, you can do it."
So, this way,
I do have a yin-Yang, yes.
Why don't you knock off early?
Agent: Ooh!
Drago: Now that's what
I'm talkin' about!
Demon chi...
And all for me.
Jackie chan, yawning: Oh, Jade,
what are you doing out of...
aah!
Drago!
Drago: Did I wake
you, sleepyhead?
So sorry!
Jade chan: Hey, Jackie,
what are you doing out of...
Wha... drago!
(Jackie and Jade grunt)
Jade: Ok, jackienator...
You go left, I'll go right,
and we'll catch drago...
Jackie: Jade, you stay here.
Jade: You can't go
in without backup!
Jackie: Hyah! Hut! Haut!
Have you come to section
13 to turn yourself in?
Drago: In your dreams, chan.
Jackie: Uhh!
Uhh!
Drago: I'm here to
throw a little barbecue.
(Alarm blares) Huh?
Black: You're surrounded, drago.
Game's over.
Drago: Over?
I'm just gettin' warmed up.
Jade: Call me crazy, but I'm thinking
it's time for a security upgrade.
Drago: Raaahh!
Surrounded!
Outnumbered!
Maybe I shouldn't
have gone solo.
But I will not repeat your
mistakes, father!
I will find the biggest,
baddest henchmen in the world
and fulfill my destiny.
(Jade yawns)
Jade: (Gasp) It's my birthday!
Yes!
(Loud yawn)
Oh... There you are!
What's everybody doing?
Black: Is the chi
containment unit stable?
Uncle chan: You want
demon chi kept safe? Yes?
Then let uncle work
without lookie-loos!
Jade: Hello!
Anybody wanna say something?
Tohru: Good morning, Jade.
Jade: Is that... All?
Don't you know what today is?
Uncle: Hot cha!
Very important day!
Day for uncle's hair cut!
Jade: Aw, come on!
You know it's my birthday.
Now, for breakfast,
I want chocolate chip pancakes
with whipped cream and
strawberries and...
Jackie: I'm sorry, Jade.
Things are a little busy
around section 13 this morning.
We will have to celebrate
your birthday later.
Jade: What?! How much later?
Jackie: Ehh... Just be patient.
Jade: Oh...
Drago, quietly: Next.
(Whipping sounds)
Next.
Next!
Punchy: Duh! Get away! Get away!
Drago: Raaah!
You are all pathetic!
I'm looking for henchmen...
Bone-crushing,
skull-caving henchmen!
I can't believe I'm gonna
say this out loud, but...
I never should have
fired the enforcers.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, dude.
You seen the rest.
Now eyeball the best!
Punchy: Duh!
Henchman: Uhh!
(Buzz) (Smash)
Strikemaster ice: So
we got the gig or what?
Drago: What's your name?
Strikemaster ice: They
call me strikemaster ice.
This here's my crew... dj fist,
and mc cobra.
Yo, gecko-boy be buggin'!
Drago: It's near.
Let's go.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, hold up, dog.
Now, we don't work for free.
You want our services,
you gots to show some green!
Yizzle!
Drago: You each now have a small
piece of my fire demon power...
Dragon speed...
Dragon strength...
And dragon breath.
Strikemaster ice: That'll work!
Drago: You're on the clock now
and we have demon chi to claim.
Uncle: The containment
unit is unharmed.
Demon chi cannot escape.
Black: I'm installing
heat and motion sensors
to make sure our fire-breathing
friend can't pay another visit.
Jade: All right, then. Let's get
Jade's birthday train back on track.
Hmm... What's first,
lunch at pizza burger?
Or maybe I should
open my presents!
Tohru: (Giggles)
I love birthdays.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
Demon chi has been activated!
Jade: No way.
Not on my birthday!
Uncle: Dai gui, the earth demon.
Tohru: The flower
of the immortals.
The demon chi is trapped within.
Jackie: The coronado
bridge in San Diego!
I am sorry, Jade.
Your birthday celebration will
have to wait just a little longer.
Jade: That's ok.
We can party in San Diego!
Jackie: Uh...
It's too dangerous.
You will stay here.
Jade: That's not right.
You can't dis the birthday girl.
Uncle: Demon chi is very close.
Jackie: Then all we have
to do is find the...
Flower.
Jade: Hey, Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Uncle: Demon chi
is in this room.
Florist: Ahem! May I help you?
Jackie: Uh,
it's a flower freshness detector.
My uncle is very picky.
Drago: So am I. I want a flower
that smells like demon chi.
(All gasp)
Tohru: Drago.
Jackie: And... Strikemaster ice?
Jade: Hey,
pizza-face got a drago makeover!
Strikemaster ice: Yo dog, you didn't say
nothin' about puttin' the hurt on chan.
First day on the job and
we're already gettin' a bonus.
(Attack cries and grunting)
Drago: Chi loves me...
Chi loves me not.
Jade: (Gasps) Hurry, uncle!
Jackie: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Yo, start pickin'
out flowers, chan, for your funer...
Ah-ah-ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you?
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Whoo! Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
Jackie: You must be allergic.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you.
(Flower pots crashing)
Jackie: Bless you.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Uncle: No, no.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Uncle: No... No...
Uncle: Hot cha!
Drago: For me?
You shouldn't have.
Jade: Hee-yah!
I picked this for you.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Tohru: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Ah...
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uhh!
Florist: My hydrangeas!
Uncle: Jackie, pay nice man.
Jade: Now that we
have the flower power,
it's time to party down!
I'm still the birthday
girl for 10 more hours.
Jackie: We'll be back home in
time for a big birthday dinner.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
Jackie: Huh?
Jade: Oh, no!
Uncle: Moon demon tso LAN?
Lotus pod?
One more chi is nearby!
Turn car around!
Tohru: 2 demon chi
powers on the same day?
Jade: Figures.
Tohru: I'm sorry, Jade.
You know we would all prefer
to celebrate your birthday.
Jade: (Sighs) Whatever.
Drago: Was that a
joke back there?
Did I hire clowns?
I give you powers beyond
your wildest imagination
and you amateurs can't
get past an archaeologist,
a tub of guts, an old
man, and a little girl?!
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
he's buggin' again!
Drago: You three are about
to get a second chance.
Tohru: I know it isn't
much, but happy birthday.
Jade: Oh, thanks, t.
Uncle: Moon demon chi is there!
(Drago growls and Jackie,
Jade, uncle, and tohru gasp)
Jackie: Jade, stay here.
Jade: Oh!
Drago: Smells like chi spirit.
Jade: Step away
from the lotus pod!
Jackie: Jade!
Jade: I'm your backup, remember?
Tohru: The demon chi stays.
You go.
Drago: We'll see about that.
What? It was here a second ago.
Uncle: Moon demon chi...
Control over gravity.
(Drago snarls)
Jade: Uncle,
let's bring the "floater"
back down to earth.
Tohru: Uhh!
Uhh!
Ooh!
Jade: Hey, boy, come over here!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Mmm! Cotton candy!
Yummy in your tummy!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee...
Jade: No hitchhiking!
Drago: I'll come
back for you later.
Jackie: Whoooooa!
Uhh!
Tohru: Uh... Whoops.
Jackie: Which way did they go?
Bwaa!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad... bad day!
Jade: Uncle!
Uncle: Leave Chinese Bear alone!
(Fist, cobra, ice,
and drago scream)
(Seals clapping)
Jackie: Nice panda, come to...
Wh-whooaaa!
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Whooaaa... oof!
Good catch, tohru.
Jade: Step on it, t!
Jackie: don't worry,
we'll bring it back later! Thank you!
Jade: Whoa!
The panda's going all moony.
Uncle: Panda will return to normal
once the demon chi is removed.
Jade: Hey, boy, trade ya!
Cotton candy for
that yucky demon chi!
Uncle and tohru: Yu-mo-
gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Yes! And now it's time
for Jade's birthday bash!
Uncle: Uncle was afraid of this.
Tohru: Sensei?
Uncle: Chi-o-matic can only
hold one power at a time!
Drago: Fore!
Now that is some
serious hang time!
Uncle: Jackie!
Drago must not obtain earth demon chi!
You must become living vessel.
Jade: Ooh! Ooh!
Let me be the living vessel!
I can handle it.
I have experience.
Come on, it's my birthday!
Drago: It's a 2-for-1 special.
Noooooo!
Jackie: Ooh, tingly.
Uncle: Jackie!
Do not let drago touch you!
He will try to drain demon chi!
Drago: Oh,
I won't just touch you, chan.
I'll rip you apart!
Jackie: Did I do that?
Uncle: Of course!
Why do you think it is
called earth demon chi?
Jade: You dine with the t,
you get a helping of the j.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, shortstop,
why don't you let the
grown-ups handle this, a-ight?
Jade: Afraid I'll
whoop your butts again?
Strikemaster ice: You got the
crust, little lady.
Let's see if you got the sauce.
Whoa!
Drago: Hey, chan... Catch!
(Jackie coughs)
Jackie: Uncle!
Have you fixed the chi-o-matic?
Uncle: Do not rush uncle!
Drago: Fire in the hole!
Jackie: Aah!
Drago: All that digging must
have made you thirsty, chan.
How about a little juice?
Tingly.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
(Rumbling and crackling)
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
ice gonna bring the heat!
Jade: And this is for
ruining my birthday!
Hee-yah!
Come on, yin-Yang,
let's get you home.
(Footsteps)
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
d, a little hizzle?
(Drago roars)
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Black: 4 down, 4 to go.
Jackie: And someone is still the
birthday girl for 4 more minutes.
(Jade snoring)
Jackie: Shh. She is sleeping.
Jade: Hey Jackie, is there a yin
and Yang to your personality?
Jackie: Yin-Yang.
I think everybody have a yin-Yang.
Yin-Yang.
Sometimes I feel I'm very strong,
but sometimes I do
feel I'm very weak.
In my body, the Yang always
want to beat the ying.
Sometimes when
I'm doing a stunt,
this side tell me, "dangerous,"
but another side tell
me, "no, you can do it."
So, this way,
I do have a yin-Yang, yes.