Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 5, Episode 2 - It's All in the Game - full transcript
Discovering an item used as a prop on an Island Game show contains some Demon Chi, the Chan Clan participates in the game.
Jackie chan: Uncle,
how does this,
um, device locate the
scattered demon chi?
Uncle chan: Ancient Chinese
compass detects energy imbalance.
When demon chi is activated,
compass picks up frequency,
leading us directly to
the immortal object.
Tohru: A reversal spell
will then draw the bad chi out
of the immortal object and
into the containment jar.
Uncle: Uncle getting to that!
A reversal spell will
then draw bad chi out
of the immortal object and
into the containment jar.
Jade chan: So,
it's your basic demon chi-o-matic.
Shipping and handling
not included.
TV host: On the next
international island challenge,
2 more families will meet on
the polynesian island of boru
to face off in a grueling test
of mental and
physical endurance.
Which family is tough
enough to be called the best
and take home a prize package
including 2 all-terrain vehicles
and a flat-screen TV with
DVD and surround sound?
Jade: No way.
Host: Which family
will avoid elimination
by earning this amnesty idol?
Jade: Well, that's a first.
A demon chi with
it's own series.
Uncle: Aiyaa! Bai tza.
Water demon chi
has been activated.
Jade: And that's her...
Zucchini?
Tohru: It's a gourd...
The immortal relic
used to defeat her
thousands of years ago.
Jackie: And now it's
on national television.
We must get to that
island before drago.
Jade: Boru, here we come.
I am so gonna kick
butt in that game.
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
Jackie: We're not going
to boru to compete, Jade.
You will stay here with tohru.
Jade: Oh, come on, uncle Jackie!
I've seen every single episode of
international à island challenge.
You gotta take me!
Jackie: Jade...
Jade: I know, I know.
I always have to play
the home version.
Drago: Ah, henchmen,
waste of time.
Excess baggage killing my mojo.
Solo is the way to go.
Bai tza.
Ratso! Finn! Chow!
Never mind.
Right. Canned 'em.
Jackie: Keep your eye
out for the gourd...
And try to blend in.
Uncle: Uncle doesn't blend.
Jade: Hey, Jackie.
Jackie: (Gasps) Jade!
What are you doing here?
Jade: Get serious.
Tohru: Uh, sorry, Jackie.
Jackie: Jade, listen to me.
I told you before we are
not here to play games.
Rickie rothman: Of course you're
not, chung family.
You're here to win!
Johnny chung, right?
Rickie rothman, producer.
Nice to meet ya.
Love to chat more,
but you guys were supposed
to be here 2 hours ago.
We're running very late so
let's get you on the set.
'K?
Jackie: But we're not...
Jade: Worthy of
this great honor.
Rothman: Humble. Nice touch.
Come on, people. Let's move it.
Places!
Jackie: You're making a mistake.
We aren't the players you want.
Production assistant: Humble.
Nice touch.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
That belongs to uncle.
Production assistant:
No luxury items.
Uncle: Give that back to...
Production assistant: And 3...
2... 1...
Host: Welcome to international
à island challenge.
Let's meet our 2 teams.
From Hamburg, Germany,
the dusseldorfs.
And from Peking,
China, it's the chungs.
Uncle: Uncle wants his demon
chi detector back right now.
Host: But if one
of these families
wants to take home our
fabulous prize package
and the title
international island champ,
they're going to need this...
the all important amnesty idol.
Win this, and your entire
team lives to see another day.
Lose, and you'll be forced to vote
off a member of your own family.
So, if you're all ready,
let's get things started
with a little fruit punch.
Tohru: Oh, good.
I am kind of thirsty.
Host: Remember,
to win this game,
each family member must make
it across the balance beam
without falling
into the slime pit.
Chung family, you're up.
Jackie: We need to
secure the relic.
We don't have time for this.
Jade: They'll hand
it to us when we win.
Now, watch out for the mangos.
Jackie: Yaa!
Aah!
Whoa. Whoa!
Greta Dusseldorf:
Aim for the big one.
Heinrich Dusseldorf: Ja!
Jade: Come on, tohru.
You're almost there, baby.
You can do it!
Heinrich: Game
over, mountain man.
Jade: Tohru!
(Tohru grunts)
Aah!
Uncle: Ooh.
That's gonna leave a mark.
Host: And the
dusseldorfs win amnesty!
Kids: Whoo hoo!
Host: Chungs, I'll see you
tonight at the ejection ceremony
where one of your family members
will be voted off the show.
Tohru: Sorry, sensei.
Jade: Tohru, listen.
You get my back, I'll get yours.
Tohru: What are
you talking about?
Jade: Power, my friend.
If we stick together,
we can protect ourselves
at the ejection ceremony.
Jackie: Jade. Jade: What?
We were just talkin'.
Uncle: Jackie!
Bad chi attracts bad chi!
Drago will be on his way soon.
Jackie: That's why we
have to grab that idol,
find uncle's demon chi detector
and get off this
island right away!
Jade: Relax. They're not home.
Jackie: Unh!
Jade, go back to the tree house.
Jade: Jackie, 3 words: Flat.
Screen. Television.
Jackie: How many times
do I have to tell you?
We must stay focused
on our mission,
not the game.
Jade: Come on.
With my brains and your brawn,
we can kick Dusseldorf butt,
score all those prizes,
and get the gourd.
Jackie: Shh. Just be quiet,
and give me a signal if
you see anyone coming.
Jade: Great.
I love being the lookout.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Jackie: Aah!
Jade: don't move around so much.
You're just making it angry.
(Jungle brush rustling)
Jade: Hey...
Dusseldorf family! Ha.
Small island, huh?
What's the 4-1-1?
Dusseldorf dad: I
don't understand.
Jade: Tell me about it.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Listen.
Uh, I think you should know that
I just saw this humongo wild
boar in your supply crates,
and I think it stole
your, uh, schnitzel!
Dad: Schnitzel?!
Jade: Yeah.
It just ran off into the bushes!
Dad: Save the schnitzel!
Jade: Jackie, they're gone.
Jackie: That's a relief. Unh.
Jade: Whoa. Double trouble.
They're back.
Jackie: Unh. Maybe we are
going about this the wrong way.
Why don't we just talk to
them and ask for the idol?
I'm sure they are
reasonable people.
Hello, Dusseldorf family.
I need to have a word with you.
Now I know this is going
to be hard to believe.
But the amnesty idol you have
contains traces of
ancient water demon chi
that must be contained
to protect the earth
from the forces of darkness.
So if you will please
give me the idol,
my uncle will cast a
spell to remove the chi,
and all will be well. Heh heh.
Jade: Nice try, champ.
Host: As you know, chungs,
this is the ejection ceremony
meaning one of you will
be going home tonight.
The process is simple.
The person with the most votes
must leave the
island immediately.
Let's begin.
Jade: It's nothing
personal, dude.
Uncle: Uncle has
been bamboozled!
Jade, we had a deal!
Uncle: Uncle not ready to leave!
Production assistant:
Sorry, show policy.
Uncle: What about
personal property?
Production assistant:
We ship it.
You should get it
in about a week.
Ha ha. Or 6.
Uncle: Aieeya!
No helicopter!
Man-made bird cannot be trusted!
(Gasps)
Production assistant: There is
nothing to worry about, sir.
It's perfectly safe.
Uncle: No.
Uncle not meant to fly.
Do you see wings on uncle?
Production assistant: Ok,
ok, please calm down, sir.
Tell you what.
There's a supply boat
coming in the morning.
You can spend the night here
and take the boat
back to the mainland.
Does that sound better?
Production assistant: So I'll
come get you in the morning, ok?
Uncle: Bring bagels.
(Doorknob rattles)
(Uncle snores)
Cruise director: The ship will be
arriving in port in 10 minutes.
We hope you all enjoy your polynesian
adventure on boru this afternoon.
But hurry back because mambo
madness begins at 4:00 sharp.
Drago: Ah.
(Hisses)
Drago: This time,
the chi's all mine.
Host: Ok, everybody.
New day, new opportunity for amnesty.
So who's. Up for a quick bite?
Because each family member
must eat everything
on their plate.
But if you lose your breakfast,
your family loses
the competition.
So open wide,
and down the hatch.
Jackie: We must win this
event and get that idol.
Jade: don't talk to me.
Talk to coconut.
Heinrich: Ah! Unh! Unh! (Vomits)
(Tohru laughs)
(Jade gulps) Flat screen
TV, here I come.
Jade: Mmph! (Vomits)
Uncle: Aieeya!
No boat!
Uncle gets seasick at aquarium!
Production assistant:
Nothing to worry about.
Just keep your
eyes on the horizon
and you'll be fine.
Uncle: Uncle needs
his personal property.
Production assistant:
Underneath your seat.
Hit it, frank!
(Frank guns engine)
Host: Because neither team
could keep their breakfast down,
you'll have to compete
in a tiebreaker round...
The ultimate tropical test
of physical strength
and endurance.
Jade: Bring it on.
(Heinrich laughs)
Host: On your mark...
Get set...
Go!
Tohru: Boaah!
(Heinrich laughs)
Jackie: Aah!
Unh! Unh! Aah!
Host: Ah.
(Heinrich and mom
Dusseldorf grunt)
Jade: Yes.
Heinrich: Unh!
Dad: Eeeaah! Aah!
Heinrich: Oof!
Jade: Whoo hoo!
Jade: I win! I win!
I win! I win! I...
(drago laughs)
That's where you're
wrong, shortstop.
I win.
(Drago laughs)
Jackie: Aah! Hot sand!
Hot sand! Hot sand!
Jackie: This is not good.
Dad: Who is that?
What is going on here?
Host: Uh,
this isn't in my script.
Drago: Water, water, everywhere,
and more than an ocean to drink.
Jackie: We need uncle!
Tohru, take Jade and find him.
I'll keep drago busy.
Jackie: Nice trick, drago.
But if you ask me,
your act is still all wet.
Drago: Nobody likes a
critic, chan.
Jade: Jackie!
Tohru: Sensei àis
not on the island!
Uncle: You hoo! Water boy!
Tohru: Sensei!
(Uncle yells the reversal
spell in Chinese)
(Uncle coughs)
(Captain grumbles)
Jackie: Uh,
those were amazing special effects.
Rothman: Special effects?
Jade: Uh, yeah.
I don't know how you guys do it
week in and week out.
Rothman: Uh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, it was
quite a piece of
television magic,
if I do say so myself.
Host: Well,
nobody told me about the Tsunami.
Rothman: You're the
host, pretty boy.
You're not in the
loop on everything.
Jade: Flat screen
TV, here I come.
Rothman: Chungs,
you're disqualified.
Jade: What?
Rothman: Your
rejected family member
returned to the competition.
Dusseldorfs, you win!
(Dusseldorfs cheer)
Jade: What?
Did you wanna gloat or something?
Heinrich: May I write you?
Jade: I'm in the book.
Jackie: Jade, do not be upset.
We captured the demon chi.
Jade: Uh,
can I watch cartoons on it?
I don't think so.
Tohru: Sensei, àwhy did you not
remove drago's fire power, too?
Uncle: Fire attached like
strong glue to drago's spirit.
It will take much
bigger magic to remove.
Jade: Speaking of
scale-face, where did he go?
(Buoy dings, seagull cries)
Jade: Hey Jackie, what was your
favourite thing about being a kid?
Jackie: Being a kid.
Sometime, when I look at a kid,
I really say,
"what are they thinking?"
They are not worried
about pay the bills,
the car bill,
the house mortgage.
Sometimes, I really want to...
Yes. I want to go back. Boom!
Become a small baby.
I don't want to worry tomorrow
what kind of stunt I'm gonna do,
what kind of action sequence.
I have to choreograph
all action sequence.
That sometimes really
makes me worry.
That's what's good about
children, yeah.
how does this,
um, device locate the
scattered demon chi?
Uncle chan: Ancient Chinese
compass detects energy imbalance.
When demon chi is activated,
compass picks up frequency,
leading us directly to
the immortal object.
Tohru: A reversal spell
will then draw the bad chi out
of the immortal object and
into the containment jar.
Uncle: Uncle getting to that!
A reversal spell will
then draw bad chi out
of the immortal object and
into the containment jar.
Jade chan: So,
it's your basic demon chi-o-matic.
Shipping and handling
not included.
TV host: On the next
international island challenge,
2 more families will meet on
the polynesian island of boru
to face off in a grueling test
of mental and
physical endurance.
Which family is tough
enough to be called the best
and take home a prize package
including 2 all-terrain vehicles
and a flat-screen TV with
DVD and surround sound?
Jade: No way.
Host: Which family
will avoid elimination
by earning this amnesty idol?
Jade: Well, that's a first.
A demon chi with
it's own series.
Uncle: Aiyaa! Bai tza.
Water demon chi
has been activated.
Jade: And that's her...
Zucchini?
Tohru: It's a gourd...
The immortal relic
used to defeat her
thousands of years ago.
Jackie: And now it's
on national television.
We must get to that
island before drago.
Jade: Boru, here we come.
I am so gonna kick
butt in that game.
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
Jackie: We're not going
to boru to compete, Jade.
You will stay here with tohru.
Jade: Oh, come on, uncle Jackie!
I've seen every single episode of
international à island challenge.
You gotta take me!
Jackie: Jade...
Jade: I know, I know.
I always have to play
the home version.
Drago: Ah, henchmen,
waste of time.
Excess baggage killing my mojo.
Solo is the way to go.
Bai tza.
Ratso! Finn! Chow!
Never mind.
Right. Canned 'em.
Jackie: Keep your eye
out for the gourd...
And try to blend in.
Uncle: Uncle doesn't blend.
Jade: Hey, Jackie.
Jackie: (Gasps) Jade!
What are you doing here?
Jade: Get serious.
Tohru: Uh, sorry, Jackie.
Jackie: Jade, listen to me.
I told you before we are
not here to play games.
Rickie rothman: Of course you're
not, chung family.
You're here to win!
Johnny chung, right?
Rickie rothman, producer.
Nice to meet ya.
Love to chat more,
but you guys were supposed
to be here 2 hours ago.
We're running very late so
let's get you on the set.
'K?
Jackie: But we're not...
Jade: Worthy of
this great honor.
Rothman: Humble. Nice touch.
Come on, people. Let's move it.
Places!
Jackie: You're making a mistake.
We aren't the players you want.
Production assistant: Humble.
Nice touch.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
That belongs to uncle.
Production assistant:
No luxury items.
Uncle: Give that back to...
Production assistant: And 3...
2... 1...
Host: Welcome to international
à island challenge.
Let's meet our 2 teams.
From Hamburg, Germany,
the dusseldorfs.
And from Peking,
China, it's the chungs.
Uncle: Uncle wants his demon
chi detector back right now.
Host: But if one
of these families
wants to take home our
fabulous prize package
and the title
international island champ,
they're going to need this...
the all important amnesty idol.
Win this, and your entire
team lives to see another day.
Lose, and you'll be forced to vote
off a member of your own family.
So, if you're all ready,
let's get things started
with a little fruit punch.
Tohru: Oh, good.
I am kind of thirsty.
Host: Remember,
to win this game,
each family member must make
it across the balance beam
without falling
into the slime pit.
Chung family, you're up.
Jackie: We need to
secure the relic.
We don't have time for this.
Jade: They'll hand
it to us when we win.
Now, watch out for the mangos.
Jackie: Yaa!
Aah!
Whoa. Whoa!
Greta Dusseldorf:
Aim for the big one.
Heinrich Dusseldorf: Ja!
Jade: Come on, tohru.
You're almost there, baby.
You can do it!
Heinrich: Game
over, mountain man.
Jade: Tohru!
(Tohru grunts)
Aah!
Uncle: Ooh.
That's gonna leave a mark.
Host: And the
dusseldorfs win amnesty!
Kids: Whoo hoo!
Host: Chungs, I'll see you
tonight at the ejection ceremony
where one of your family members
will be voted off the show.
Tohru: Sorry, sensei.
Jade: Tohru, listen.
You get my back, I'll get yours.
Tohru: What are
you talking about?
Jade: Power, my friend.
If we stick together,
we can protect ourselves
at the ejection ceremony.
Jackie: Jade. Jade: What?
We were just talkin'.
Uncle: Jackie!
Bad chi attracts bad chi!
Drago will be on his way soon.
Jackie: That's why we
have to grab that idol,
find uncle's demon chi detector
and get off this
island right away!
Jade: Relax. They're not home.
Jackie: Unh!
Jade, go back to the tree house.
Jade: Jackie, 3 words: Flat.
Screen. Television.
Jackie: How many times
do I have to tell you?
We must stay focused
on our mission,
not the game.
Jade: Come on.
With my brains and your brawn,
we can kick Dusseldorf butt,
score all those prizes,
and get the gourd.
Jackie: Shh. Just be quiet,
and give me a signal if
you see anyone coming.
Jade: Great.
I love being the lookout.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Jackie: Aah!
Jade: don't move around so much.
You're just making it angry.
(Jungle brush rustling)
Jade: Hey...
Dusseldorf family! Ha.
Small island, huh?
What's the 4-1-1?
Dusseldorf dad: I
don't understand.
Jade: Tell me about it.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Listen.
Uh, I think you should know that
I just saw this humongo wild
boar in your supply crates,
and I think it stole
your, uh, schnitzel!
Dad: Schnitzel?!
Jade: Yeah.
It just ran off into the bushes!
Dad: Save the schnitzel!
Jade: Jackie, they're gone.
Jackie: That's a relief. Unh.
Jade: Whoa. Double trouble.
They're back.
Jackie: Unh. Maybe we are
going about this the wrong way.
Why don't we just talk to
them and ask for the idol?
I'm sure they are
reasonable people.
Hello, Dusseldorf family.
I need to have a word with you.
Now I know this is going
to be hard to believe.
But the amnesty idol you have
contains traces of
ancient water demon chi
that must be contained
to protect the earth
from the forces of darkness.
So if you will please
give me the idol,
my uncle will cast a
spell to remove the chi,
and all will be well. Heh heh.
Jade: Nice try, champ.
Host: As you know, chungs,
this is the ejection ceremony
meaning one of you will
be going home tonight.
The process is simple.
The person with the most votes
must leave the
island immediately.
Let's begin.
Jade: It's nothing
personal, dude.
Uncle: Uncle has
been bamboozled!
Jade, we had a deal!
Uncle: Uncle not ready to leave!
Production assistant:
Sorry, show policy.
Uncle: What about
personal property?
Production assistant:
We ship it.
You should get it
in about a week.
Ha ha. Or 6.
Uncle: Aieeya!
No helicopter!
Man-made bird cannot be trusted!
(Gasps)
Production assistant: There is
nothing to worry about, sir.
It's perfectly safe.
Uncle: No.
Uncle not meant to fly.
Do you see wings on uncle?
Production assistant: Ok,
ok, please calm down, sir.
Tell you what.
There's a supply boat
coming in the morning.
You can spend the night here
and take the boat
back to the mainland.
Does that sound better?
Production assistant: So I'll
come get you in the morning, ok?
Uncle: Bring bagels.
(Doorknob rattles)
(Uncle snores)
Cruise director: The ship will be
arriving in port in 10 minutes.
We hope you all enjoy your polynesian
adventure on boru this afternoon.
But hurry back because mambo
madness begins at 4:00 sharp.
Drago: Ah.
(Hisses)
Drago: This time,
the chi's all mine.
Host: Ok, everybody.
New day, new opportunity for amnesty.
So who's. Up for a quick bite?
Because each family member
must eat everything
on their plate.
But if you lose your breakfast,
your family loses
the competition.
So open wide,
and down the hatch.
Jackie: We must win this
event and get that idol.
Jade: don't talk to me.
Talk to coconut.
Heinrich: Ah! Unh! Unh! (Vomits)
(Tohru laughs)
(Jade gulps) Flat screen
TV, here I come.
Jade: Mmph! (Vomits)
Uncle: Aieeya!
No boat!
Uncle gets seasick at aquarium!
Production assistant:
Nothing to worry about.
Just keep your
eyes on the horizon
and you'll be fine.
Uncle: Uncle needs
his personal property.
Production assistant:
Underneath your seat.
Hit it, frank!
(Frank guns engine)
Host: Because neither team
could keep their breakfast down,
you'll have to compete
in a tiebreaker round...
The ultimate tropical test
of physical strength
and endurance.
Jade: Bring it on.
(Heinrich laughs)
Host: On your mark...
Get set...
Go!
Tohru: Boaah!
(Heinrich laughs)
Jackie: Aah!
Unh! Unh! Aah!
Host: Ah.
(Heinrich and mom
Dusseldorf grunt)
Jade: Yes.
Heinrich: Unh!
Dad: Eeeaah! Aah!
Heinrich: Oof!
Jade: Whoo hoo!
Jade: I win! I win!
I win! I win! I...
(drago laughs)
That's where you're
wrong, shortstop.
I win.
(Drago laughs)
Jackie: Aah! Hot sand!
Hot sand! Hot sand!
Jackie: This is not good.
Dad: Who is that?
What is going on here?
Host: Uh,
this isn't in my script.
Drago: Water, water, everywhere,
and more than an ocean to drink.
Jackie: We need uncle!
Tohru, take Jade and find him.
I'll keep drago busy.
Jackie: Nice trick, drago.
But if you ask me,
your act is still all wet.
Drago: Nobody likes a
critic, chan.
Jade: Jackie!
Tohru: Sensei àis
not on the island!
Uncle: You hoo! Water boy!
Tohru: Sensei!
(Uncle yells the reversal
spell in Chinese)
(Uncle coughs)
(Captain grumbles)
Jackie: Uh,
those were amazing special effects.
Rothman: Special effects?
Jade: Uh, yeah.
I don't know how you guys do it
week in and week out.
Rothman: Uh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, it was
quite a piece of
television magic,
if I do say so myself.
Host: Well,
nobody told me about the Tsunami.
Rothman: You're the
host, pretty boy.
You're not in the
loop on everything.
Jade: Flat screen
TV, here I come.
Rothman: Chungs,
you're disqualified.
Jade: What?
Rothman: Your
rejected family member
returned to the competition.
Dusseldorfs, you win!
(Dusseldorfs cheer)
Jade: What?
Did you wanna gloat or something?
Heinrich: May I write you?
Jade: I'm in the book.
Jackie: Jade, do not be upset.
We captured the demon chi.
Jade: Uh,
can I watch cartoons on it?
I don't think so.
Tohru: Sensei, àwhy did you not
remove drago's fire power, too?
Uncle: Fire attached like
strong glue to drago's spirit.
It will take much
bigger magic to remove.
Jade: Speaking of
scale-face, where did he go?
(Buoy dings, seagull cries)
Jade: Hey Jackie, what was your
favourite thing about being a kid?
Jackie: Being a kid.
Sometime, when I look at a kid,
I really say,
"what are they thinking?"
They are not worried
about pay the bills,
the car bill,
the house mortgage.
Sometimes, I really want to...
Yes. I want to go back. Boom!
Become a small baby.
I don't want to worry tomorrow
what kind of stunt I'm gonna do,
what kind of action sequence.
I have to choreograph
all action sequence.
That sometimes really
makes me worry.
That's what's good about
children, yeah.